>[fluffy pony] is eating from her bowl, smacking her little fluffy lips with her eager chowing down >you try to ignore it as you drink your coffee and watch the news >your fluffy pony finishes her food and climbs up on the couch >with her dirty hooves Get off the couch, [fluffy pony] >she bounces her forelegs on your thigh "Wan pway!" >ignoring your order, she hops into your lap >knocking your cup and spilling your drink all over the armrest >grabbing her by the scruff of her neck, she seems to have a fleeting memory of what happens next >she starts running in the air, "n-no sowwy-stick! Pwease daddy, no sow-" >you toss her into her safety room and retrieve the broom >swinging overhead, you bring the worn head down on her back >she yelps and tries to scamper away but you've lifted her off the ground like a spatula STUPID FUCKING PONY, THAT COUCH COST MORE THAN A HUNDRED OF YOU >she's gibbering broken baby-talk about the implement of your wrath >you shove her teary-eyed face into the bristles, scraping back and forth THAT COFFEE? THREE OF YOU! THE SORRY STICK IS WORTH FIVE! >you hold her up by the tail and start jabbing her soft belly with the wooden handle AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU? >she's trying to speak through hiccuping terrified tears but stuttering too much to speak properly IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION? >"W-wuv! W-w-wuv daddy!" LIKE SHIT YOU DO >you drop the fluffy pony >she immediately retreats to her little nest of blankets, hiding in the folds You're going to stay in here until I clean the coffee off, and don't expect play time today >stepping over the plastic gate, you hear [fluffy pony] whimper "why sowwy-stick for twying huggies?"