>Day Braces in Equestria.
>”We’ll be back by midnight. Make sure Twilight is put to bed at 8. Anon is grounded so keep him inside.”
>”Sure thing, Ms. Sparkle.”
>”Anon, you be good for Cadence, alright?”
>You roll your eyes at her from the couch.
>”What about me, Mom? You don’t need to ask me to be good,” Twilight says.
>”Of course not, sweetie. You always behave. Bye.”
>And with that they are gone.
>And hell has just begun.
>Of course, to the casual observer it would appear to be paradise.
>You have everything you want - even the semi-awkward almost love from your foster parents.
>They haven’t quite gotten to that point just yet.
>Maybe that’s why you weren’t formally adopted.
>Now you’re stuck in a sort of in-between position, but at least your prospects look good.
>Everything is just fine… except for Cadence.
>Just look at her.
>She maintains eye contact with you.
>Her half lidded eyes gazing into your very soul.
>Begging – no… demanding your attention.
>She opens her mouth for a smile.
>And there they are.
>Braces.
>You hate braces.
>Its unnatural to change God’s will.
>That never stopped your family… your real family, from putting them on you.
>No matter how often you brushed they always had a smell to them.
>Rotting bits of meat clinging to your mouth.
>Ponies very rarely eat meat, so they don’t have to worry about that quite as much.
>However, that smell never goes away.
>Sure you can fight it off for a time, but it’s always lingering.
>This isn't weird you assure yourself.
>Everyone has an aversion.
>Hell, some peeople don't like hard boiled eggs.
>”Cadence, look at the book I’m reading.”
>”Oh, ‘An Introduction to Geometry.’ That sounds exciting,” Cadence says with her practiced mock enthusiasm.
>It almost sounds genuine.
>She’s just playing along.
>Biding her time.
>”It is!” Twilight announces.
>”Why don’t you go to your room and read it then?”
>”Okay.”
>Twilight climbs the stairs to her room.
>You don’t hear the door shut.
>You might still be safe.
>”Hi, Anon.”
>This was inevitable.
>Might as well get it over with.
“Hello, Cadence.”
>She is standing a few feet from you.
>Probably deciding whether or not to sit next to you.
>”Where’s your brother?”
“Shining? He’s at his part time job.”
>”I didn’t know he was working.”
“He just started a week or two ago.”
>”So you’re the stallion of the house right now,” she says not raising her tone on the last syllable.
>Like she’s telling you, not asking.
>You frown at her.
“Cut the crap, Cadence. Just leave me alone, and everything is going to be just fine.”
>Now that she knows both Twilight and Shining are out of the picture, she drops the chipper school girl act.
>Her voice drops her just a bit.
>She probably thinks it sounds sexier that way.
>She reads too many teen magazines.
>”What do you mean, Anon? I’m just making light conversation, but we can move to… heavier subjects if you like.”
>It only takes a moment for her to wobble toward the couch to sit next to you.
>Again, she makes the mistake of trying to act sexy.
>If you eventually end up liking ponies that way, you would still not be attracted to such a lanky and uncoordinated mare as her.
>She makes sure not to touch you.
>She made that mistake before, and is careful not to repeat it.
>Still, she’s dangerously close to you.
“Cadence, I don’t like you.”
>She tries to laugh to shrug off that comment, but you can tell that it’s fake.
>”I’m just playing with you, Anon. Lighten up.”
>You look her in her eyes.
>It’s a standoff.
>Finally, she relents and looks away.
>Now the room is filled with awkward silence.
>Time to change tactics.
“What about Shining? He likes you.”
>She sighs.
>It’s real this time.
>”Shining is…” she looks for the words, “not for me. He’s kind of weird.”
>She’s one to talk.
>You keep yourself from chuckling.
“Maybe if you got to know him better, you would find something in common with him.”
>”Maybe…” she offers. “And maybe if you got to know me better we could at least be friends.”
>She doesn’t look at you.
>The awkward silence returns.
“Just friends?”
>”Don’t make me promise that, Anon,” she says, blushing slightly.
>You think for a moment.
>You’ve probably been too hard on her.
>She’s just infatuated with you because you are so different.
>Give her a chance.
>Against your better judgment you smile and nod at her.
>”Cool.”
>
>A few hours pass and you get to know her story.
>Where she grew up, why she has that slight scar on her back right leg.
>She listens intently as you describe your previous life, and even makes you both a snack.
>Her sandwich making skills need some work, but you overlook this flaw.
>You decide that she’s not that bad.
>Somehow while you weren’t paying attention she managed to shift so that her shoulder is touching yours.
>Her soft body is pleasantly warm against your skin.
>She doesn’t lay a hoof on you, as if to make sure that this could all be explained away as a simple misunderstanding.
>She can stay there for a bit if she wants.
>Silence returns, but its not awkward this time.
>What else is left to say?
>You both know so much about each other now.
>She shifts again to face you.
>”I know that you only tolerate me… but I have to say it. I like you.”
>You put an arm around her.
>Maybe you like her too.
>Why does this have to be so confusing?
>She pulls herself toward you.
>Unlike before this is obviously intentional.
>She looks at you with her big pink eyes.
>Why do you have to be such a softy?
>She moves toward you slowly.
>Her lips part.
>In this moment everyth-
>FUCK
>Her lips lock against yours.
>You can taste rotting bits of leafy greens.
>You push her off of you.
“When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”
>”This morning. Is it really that bad?”
“Yes it is.”
>She looks at you like a deer in headlights.
>You hear the door open and she scrambles off of you.
>”Hello Mrs. Sparkle,” she says, returning to her chipper self.
>You ignore them and walk up to your room.
>You should ask out that girl that’s obsessed with oral hygiene.
>At least she won’t taste bad.
[spoiler]>You hope.[/spoiler]
fin
 
>Day Braces in Equestria, cont.
>First period is going to start in a few minutes.
>You spent the last 15 minutes building up the courage to ask out Colgate.
>There she is.
>This is your chance.
>You clear your throat before proceeding.
>You strut over to show the other ponies how cool you are.
“Hi, Colgate, how are you?”
>She pokes her head out of her locker and gives what can only be described as a “oh… its you” look.
>”I’m fine.”
>Usually they ask you, ‘How you are doing?’ as well.
>That’s how these things go.
>Whatever. Just roll with it.
”I’m good too.”
>”What do you want, Anon?”
>Shit.
“Who said I wanted anything?”
>She presses her lips together – clearly unconvinced.
>You’ll have to work on your acting later.
“Alright, fine. I need a favor.”
>”What kind of favor?”
“Not much. You would hardly have to do anything.”
>She raises an eyebrow.
“I just need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”
>She laughs.
>”You’re joking right?”
>You frown at her.
>"Oh, you're serious."
“Com’n, Colgate. You owe me.”
>”For what?”
“I let you borrow a pen once, and you never gave it back.”
>She magics over a new pen.
>”Here.”
>This isn’t going as well as you hoped.
>Still it's a nice blue gel pen so you put it in your pocket.
”Listen, I’m your friend right? Friends help each other out.”
>”I barely know you. I’m not going to pretend to be your girlfriend.”
”But we have so much in common. We both like oral hygiene.”
1/9
>”Then you should brush more often. I can smell your breath from here.”
>That's not very nice to say.
>She sighs.
>”Why do you need a girlfriend?”
“It’s Cadence. She likes me and tried to make a move last night.”
>”Yeah? You should be glad that anypony likes you.”
”I’m not that bad.”
>She just smirks at this.
”She’s weird.”
>”Anon, I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like that. You're the one that's weird.”
>You forgot that they hang out together.
>Unfortunatly you need a pretend girlfriend before lunch.
>Hopefully she won't tell Cadence your plan.
“I'm not weird. I’m more along the lines of quirky.”
>”They are the same thing. You should just give up and be with her.”
>The bell rings.
>”Ugh. You’ve made us late to class. Thanks a lot.”
>
>Colgate is sitting in the second row of chairs.
>You’re in the back row.
>Though seats aren’t assigned, ponies can get very territorial.
>The seat you got on the first day is usually the one you keep.
>You write a note to Colgate.
>It reads: [spoiler][/spoiler] “Will you go out with me? Yes/No.”
>You put the note on Bon Bon’s desk and motion toward Colgate.
>She passes it up the column to Big Mac.
>He looks at the note and opens it up.
>You try to wave at him to pass it on but he doesn't see you.
>He opens the note and looks over at you confused.
>You hide your face.
>He scribbles something before passing the note back to Bon Bon, who promptly puts it on your desk.
>No is circled three times.
>God damn it.
>You make a new note, and write Colgate’s name on it.
>While the teacher isn’t -
“Anon, are you passing notes?”
>”OOooooo,” the class says in unison.
”No, ma’am.”
>She trots over and grabs the note.
>”Colgate, will you go out with me? Circle yes or no.”
>You look over and Colgate has turned a bright shade of purple.
>You shrink into your chair the rest of class.
>
>Back at the lockers.
2/9
>”Why’d you have to do that? Now everypony is asking me if I’m going to date you.”
“So, are you?”
>”NO!”
“Jeez, you’re acting like it’s a big deal or something.”
>”I have standards, Anon. I’m not just going to date a… uh – what are you anyway?”
”I’m a monkey.”
>”I’m not going to date a monkey. Besides, Cadence is my friend and I would never betray her.”
“Com’n. I’ll do anything. Please. I just need to get Cadence off my back.”
>”If I agree to date you will you leave me alone?”
”I don’t see how that would work out very well.”
>”What?”
“If I leave you alone, then no one will think we’re dating.”
>Colgate raises a hoof to her chest and takes a deep breath.
>Her hoof extends outwards as she exhales.
“Feel better?”
>”Not really.”
“Great! So here’s the plan…”
>
>It’s lunchtime.
>You know Colgate and Cadence both attend second period together.
>Hopefully they didn't talk.
>”Hi, Anon,” Cadence yells from across the lunchroom.
>She’s sitting at a table with an open chair.
>This will be perfect.
>You will be able to completely crush her spirit.
>Slowly you make your way over.
>Each sway is calculated to give you the maximum amount of cool points.
>Ponies all around you watch what you know is a glorious display of confidence.
”Hello, Cadence,” you say – emphasizing your distain for her.
>You almost feel sorry for the emotional scarring you are about to unleash.
>”How was class?”
>You ignore her question.
”Cadence, as much as I enjoy these encounters… I have a girlfriend now.”
>”That’s great, Anon!”
>That chipper school girl act annoys you to no end.
>”Who is she?”
>She smirks while saying this.
>She’s one cool customer.
>You have to give her that.
”Instead of telling you, why don’t I show you? She’ll be coming through that door right ……….. NOW!”
>The door stays closed.
3/9
”Any moment now.”
>Still the door remains unmoved.
>Cadence is unimpressed.
>Fucking Colgate never listens to you.
>She was supposed to crash through the door in a fit of lust.
>”You know I wouldn’t just leave you hanging like that,” her voice drops slightly, “Anon.”
>You just frown and open up your lunch box.
>It’s salad and imitation crab again.
>”So who is this girlfriend of yours anyway?”
“Colgate.”
>Cadence giggles at this.
>"Colgate is one of my good friends. What makes you like her?”
“She’s smart, fun, and she makes me laugh. Also, she isn’t obsessed about me.”
>”I’m all those things, plus the last one. Don’t you want somep0ny who truly loves you?”
“No, you’re just infatuated with me.”
>”That's not true. I have very specific reasons for liking you. Anyway, I’m having a party at my place tonight. You can bring your 'girlfriend.'”
>This will be perfect.
>She will be in front of all of her friends when you publicly reject her.
>No.
>You should trick her into falling in love with your brother instead.
>Shining Armor is technically not your brother, but you refer to your foster family members as such for convenience.
>You hope they will adopt you formally.
>If they fall in love then maybe Cadence will leave you alone.
”I’ll be there.”
>”Awesome.”
>Cadence gets up and throws away her trash.
>The door bursts open.
>”Anon, I can’t be without you! I must have you right now!”
>Colgate flies through the air and into your arms.
>She oversold the performance a bit, but it’s a good start.
>Too bad her timing is off.
>You move your arms and she falls to the ground.
>”What, was that no good?”
”It was fine, just really late. Cadence already left.”
>”Darn.”
>She gets up and puts her lunch box on the table.
”Want to go to a party with me?”
>
>Back at your foster home.
>”It’ll be fun.”
>”You know I don’t like parties,” Shining Armor complains.
”Cadence will be there.”
4/9
>”So? She likes you, not me.”
”We can change that. All we have to do is work together.”
>”Okay. What should I do?”
“First of all, don’t talk about that space show y-
>”Space Journey: Deep Equestria Eight,” he corrects you.
“Yeah. No one likes it. It’s a dumb show.”
>”It’s not dumb. It explores different civilization’s interactions in a very important part of space.”
”Be that as it may, its nerdy. It’s a show, not a lifestyle.”
>”I’ll just stay here then.”
>He grabs his matching Space Journey plate and utensils and serves himself dinner.
”Shining, please. I need your help on this one.”
>He shakes his head.
>”Who’s going to watch Twilight?”
“She can stay home alone. What’s the worst that could happen?”
>
>An hour later, at Cadence's house.
>”Hey, Anon! I’m so glad that you could make it.”
>Cadence tries to hug you but you take a step back.
>She quickly catches herself and turns to Shining Armor.
>”Oh, and your brother is here too.”
>”Hi,” is all Shining squeaks out.
>She doesn’t offer him a hug.
>Cadence moves to the side and reveals a surprisingly busy party.
>There are even a few cool ponies from school.
>Thunderlane, the captain of the soccer team, lounges on the couch.
>Big Mac is beside him drinking punch.
>Cheerilee is spazing out on the dance floor.
>There are also bunch of other ponies that you don’t know.
>”We’ve got punch, chips, and games. Help yourselves.”
>Thunderlane waves over Cadence and she excuses herself.
>You turn to your brother to give him a pep talk.
”Hi? That’s all you can say? You won’t win her over like that.”
>”I’m just rusty is all.”
”Let’s go get some liquid courage in you.”
>You two walk over to the punch bowl.
>As expected, it’s spiked with some hard alcohol.
>Colgate and Berry Punch are talking in the kitchen.
>Berry giggles as you walk in.
5/9
”Something going on in here?”
>”No, I just told a joke.”
>Berry covers her face and tries not to laugh.
”Shining and I would like to hear it.”
>”It’s one of those, ‘you had to be there’ jokes."
>”Yeah, you wouldn’t get it," Berry adds.
>What are they hiding?
”You two met Shining right?”
>”I haven’t,” Berry says as she offers a hoof.
“Alright, You two get to know eachother. I’ll be right back. Com’n Colgate.”
>”But, I’m having fun right here.”
”We need to talk Colgate.”
>”Oooo… lover’s quarrel…” Berry giggles.
>Colgate turns purple.
>”Fine.”
>She grabs her drink and follows you to an unused room.
>”You need to lighten up, Anon, or this relationship isn’t going to work.”
“We aren’t in a relationship.”
>”Not with that attitude. I’m a method actor, Anon,” she says as she waves a hoof for emphasis. “Reality and pretend mesh together into one singular being.”
>Out of all the mares in school you had to pick this one.
”Alright fine. We’re dating. Anyway we have to give Shining Armor and Cadence a chance to be alone together.”
>Colgate thinks for a moment.
>”We’re going to play seven minutes in heaven in an hour or so.”
”Really?”
>”Yeah, didn’t you even look at the agenda posted on the refrigerator?”
>Who plans out a party like that?
”That’s perfect! All we have to do is rig it.”
>”Rig seven minutes in heaven?”
”Yes.”
>”What is she wants to play spin the bottle instead?”
”That’s even better. Just use your magic to make it land on Shining and Cadence.”
>”I don’t know. It sounds unethical.”
”It’s a game. Who cares?”
6/9
>
>An hour passes.
>Cadence left you alone most of the night.
>Shining never got the courage to speak with her.
>Instead he spent his time chatting with Colgate about Space Journey.
>At least he had someone to talk to.
>”Alright, it’s time to play seven minutes in heaven!” Cadence announces.
>Finally.
>Ponies around you cheer.
>”Everypony write your name and put it in a hat.”
>Ponies take their turns putting names in either a male or female hat.
>”I’ll read the names out,” Colgate offers.
>This girl is a genius.
>You’re going to have to get her something expensive to make up for this.
>”Alright, first pony is… Cadence!”
>Cadence fans her face with a hoof in mock embarrassment.
>”Second name is…”
>This is it.
>”Anon!”
>Fucking fuck.
”What the hell, Colgate?”
>”I told you twice that Cadence and I are friends. Maybe if you listened you wouldn't be in this mess. So sorry.”
>The ponies around you laugh.
>She pretends to wipe her eyes in a crying motion.
>Fucking bitch.
>”That’s alright, Anon. It's our destiny to be together.”
>Cadence grabs your hand and leads you to the closet.
>The music is turned up to give you some privacy.
>Through the door you can hear the bass booming.
>A single dim bulb lights the closet.
>”You’ve got me all alone, Anon. I hope you don’t take advantage of me…”
>Cadence shifts and shows herself.
>She’s already wet.
”Fucking gross.”
>”Nopony will know what happens in here. We can keep it our little secret.”
>She moves forward and puts her weight on you.
>You try to push her away but she’s surprisingly strong.
>She uses her magic to open your zipper.
>A hoof makes it’s way under your underwear and grazes your manhood.
>Though it feels good, you can never be with her.
”Stop it.”
7/9
>She ignores you.
>You put a foot between you and shove her off.
>She quickly jumps back on you.
“Stop! I don’t like you.”
>Your words pierce her and she backs off.
>”What’s so wrong with me, Anon? Nothing I do makes you happy.”
”You’re weird. No one just falls in love,” you snap a finger, “like that.”
>”Anon, you know how I feel. Last night –“
“There’s nothing to talk about. What happened before was an accident.”
>”We talked for hours. That doesn’t sound like an accident to me.”
”That was fine. The kissing was the problem.”
>She looks down at the floor.
>”You could have stopped me at any time.”
>She is right.
>You knew she was going to kiss you and you didn’t stop her.
>It’s not your fault that you have a thing about braces.
>Neither of you had a choice when they were put on.
>”I just finished brushing… I made sure to get every last spot.”
>She opens up for you to see.
>Sure enough her teeth look very clean.
>”Look, we’ve only got a few minutes left, and we’re going to need a story to tell.”
>You wave a hand at her to show that any story will be fine.
>”How about we say that kissed a few times, and just leave it at that?”
>When she’s not putting up a chipper act, or trying desperately to be sexy she looks like a decent girl.
>She puts a hoof on your hand.
>Her eyes glisten in the dim light.
>It reminds you of last night.
>She didn't pretend to be something she isnt.
>In this small closet she again showed you that she can be an alright mare.
>Not to mention she's the only mare that ever liked you.
>Against your better judgement, you decide to kiss her.
”I’ll do you one better.”
>You move forward and she meets up halfway.
>Her breath is clean and minty.
8/9
>It's much better than last night.
>You lips meet.
>It’s just a peck.
>She stays close and her eyes beg for just one more.
>Who are you to deny her?
>Your arm moves by itself, and pulls Cadence toward you.
>Her lips lock against yours, and you let it happen.
>You pull-
>”No! STOP!”
>Your wires are stuck to each other.
”FUCK!”
>The door flies open and every pony see you two stuck in an embrace.
>”Time’s up,” Colgate says.
>Her timing is the worst.
>You can't help but feel embarresed.
>Just get through this.
”Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to leave. We’re stuck.”
>The room explodes in laughter and they close the door again.
”No! Get help!”
>You bang on the door, but it remains closed.
>”They wouldn’t just leave us here, would they?
>Through the door you hear Colgate.
>”Alright, so now we’re going to use the spare bedroom!”
>Shit.
”I think they already did leave us.”
>You knew this was a bad idea.
>Cadence tries to get up, but you pull her back down.
>You don’t want to lose any teeth.
”Alright, just use your magic to –“
>”Like this?”
>You feel your teeth being ripped out.
”STOP!”
>The magic fades.
”Don’t you have scissors hanging around?”
>”This is a coat closet.”
>You bang against the door again.
”Shining! Open the door!”
>”He’s busy.”
>Who is that? Berry Punch?
”Berry, get some scissors!”
>
>It’s a short walk back home.
>Shining has a wide grin on his face.
>He spent seven minutes with Colgate.
>Apparently she also likes Space Journey.
>At least someone understands him.
>When you arrive you firefighters spraying down the house.
>Little Twilight is sitting down with a blanket over her.
>Ms. Sparkle see’s you walking back.
>”ANON! SHINING! How many times have I told you two not to leave Twilight home alone?”
>You’re in for it now.
>Fucking Twilight.
fin
9/9