>Be a Fluffy Pony Field Researcher
>Why?
>Because there's not fucking much else you can do with your bullshit degree
 
>Have been observing a feral herd from a distance for the past 3 days
>This herd is different
>For a start, the herd moves outside of the city, past the forest, and just in an open field
>Barely any tree cover, just open space as far as the eye can see
>The herd's gender ratio is off as well.
>Only three males, as opposed to 9 females
>There are foals too, about 5 of them
 
>The herd seems to not do much during the day
>Find sources of "nummies", eat said "nummies", then lie down or "pway" for a while
>At night, however, the females leave the herd and seem to go foraging
>The males stay awake and stand guard over the foals, taking it in turns to watch the horizon
>One male in particular seems to give orders to the others
>Must be the Smarty Friend of this herd
>Orange fluff with a red mane and tail
>The females respect him and he gives them "Special Hugs" when he feels like it
>Other than that, he just lies there, barks out orders and plays with the foals
 
>You decide it's time to take one of these fluffies back to the lab for further examination
>Figure the easiest way to do it is to just walk right up to the herd during the day when they're sleeping and just grab one
>What're they gonna do? They're fluffies.
>Proceed with plan
>Once you get within a few meters, one of the fluffies wakes up and spots you
>"Big Munsta! Wakesy up, fwuffies!"
>Almost instantly, the rest of the fluffies are up and milling about, but not screaming and crying as you expected them to
>Interested to see how this pans out, so you wait
>2 females stay with the foals, while the rest of the herd moves towards you and begins to circle you
>Almost as if they're weighing you up
>The smarty friend is... making some kinda noise
>No puffy cheeks, no stamping... Just that noise
>Kinda sounds like a tiny moped engine
>... Wait a sec. He's GROWLING
>It all clicks into place
>The females, the hunting, the alpha smarty
>The God damn fluffies think they're LIONS.
>This is too rich, you can't take them back to a lab!
>The observation research of Wild Lion Fluffies would win you some kinda Fluffy Pony Nobel Prize!
 
>The Smarty Friend begins speaking
>"Weawwy Big Munsta... Munsta on fwuffy wand.. Wion-O wand!"
>You cock an eyebrow at the fluffy
"Your name is Wine-o?"
>"No! WION-O!"
>The Smarty Friend punctuates this with a tiny little roar
>Oh God, Lion-O.
>The other fluffies roar along with him
>"Wion-O pwide dah best pwide! We wive wivout smewwy hooman munstas!"
>Figure now would be a good time to head back to your observation post, before the little guy makes you want to hurt him
"Ok, ok, I understand. This is your land, Lion-O. I'll leave now."
>You open your coat and hold it open, trying to make youself look big
>You maintain eye-contact with Lion-O and back away slowly
>The Pride opens its circle and lets you back away
>Lion-O gets the last word in
>"Hooman smawt. Wion-O pwide wet yoo go. Fow now."
>Lion-O and his pride saunter back to their patch of earth and go back to sleep
 
>When you get back to the observation post, you pull our your cellphone and call your film-maker buddy
>3 weeks later, your documentary, "The Fluffy King: An Examination of Lion Fluffies" is a box-office smash
>Drown in pussy
>Bitches love documentaries
 
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Additional Post-Script Ending Fun Time!
         Written by Anon
 
>Researchers in Europe, trying to steal your thunder, create their own lion fluffies through environmental influence
>Say they're going to do you one better and raise them on African plains
>Poor damn things eaten by real lions in under three days
>Duh, Europe, duh