840_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
 
"And I help."
 
>Did you need something?
 
"Yes, actually I do. I've been working with a non-profit organization that helps provide clean water to other ponies by distributing portable water purifiers that they created. However, regular ponies want the purifier too, so they've been selling them so we can keep up production and give away more purifiers who can't."
 
>Huh, this is different, but go on. How is that a problem? It sounds sustainable to me.
 
"The trouble is we're turning a profit. It's a non-profit organization. Selling the purifiers makes us look like a regular commercial business and it's going to take away the organization's tax exempt status."
 
>Ah, that's right. Ah' guess that's a bit of a problem. It can be a grey line when it comes to what counts as profiting from unrelated business activities, but that's clearly doing business.
 
"Applejack!"
 
>Wait wait hear me out. This is fixable if you change the way-
 
A buffalo walks in.
'Whoops...um. Don't mind me.'
He backs away.
 
>...who was that?
 
"...that looked like Shia LaBuffalo."
 
>What's he doing here?
 
"I don't know. Do you think he's a guest?"
 
>That can't be right. Pinkie told me she was doing some sort of Hunger Game thing with her club.
 
"Maybe we should let Pinkie know or help Shia. It's a big house."
 
AJ gets up and checks the door.
>Huh...he's gone...
 
841_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[AJ]
{Rarity}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we play games!
 
"I'm the pretty one <3"
 
'I'm the grumpy one.'
 
>And I'm the crazy one!
 
>"'Now for our main segment...HUNGER GAMES: PINK PONY EDITION!
 
>As promised, we're going to do a battle royal between the 3 of us right here in the Lollipop forest!
 
'It's going to be pretty short if it's just the 3 of us.'
 
"We're pink. We're enough for everypony. If you know what I mean."
 
'....I don't know what you mean.'
 
"....neither do I. It sounded better in my head."
 
>This is a circular forest, so I'm going to have you two enter the forest from different sides and we all meet in the center. A flare will go off to signal we're starting...no flying.
 
"'Rats.'"
 
DT and Cadence split and go off in separate directions.
>May the odds ever be in your favor.
 
[Pinkie.]
 
>Whoa, Applejack? I thought you'd be doing your show about right now.
 
{We cut it short. Were you expecting a guest today?}
 
>Nope. It's just us tonight. Why?
 
[We think we saw Shia LaBuffalo earlier. We were wondering if you were expecting him.]
 
>Nopey nope. We don't usually get movie stars here, but while you're here, you should join our hunger game! The more the merrier!
 
[No, we just wanted to let you know.]
 
{We'd hate to interrupt your show.}
 
>I won't take no as an answer. Just like those Date Grape commercials! PlusItStacksTheOddsInMyFavor.
 
[What?]
Two flares go off in in the sky.
 
>I said ADVENTURE! We're crossover now!
Pinkie drags AJ and Rarity into the forest.
 
842_______________________________________________________________________________________
[spoiler]Drama sucks[/spoiler]
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but things happen!
 
Cadence runs through the lollipop forest.
"Wow Pinkie really likes lollipops."
 
She spots something in the corner of her eye and stops.
"Pinkie?"
 
But nothing is there.
"...I'm not dumb. I know you're there."
Silence.
"..."
Cadence levitates her bow out.
 
"...SONIC ARR-"
A dark figure tries to swipe her from behind.
"Hai!"
She dodges and spins around.
 
"Got you-"
But she sees no one but herself.
"...or not?"
 
The sound of heavy creaking catches her attention. She looks up and a giant lollipop tree is falling down on her.
"LOVELY ARROW!"
The arrow hits the lollipop and shatters it.
 
"You're going to have to do better than that if you want to-"
In the corner of her eye she sees the gleam of a knife quickly slicing completely through her wing.
"AHHHHHHH!"
 
843_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"DT"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but some of us fell asleep writing!
 
DT runs along.
"This is so stupid. The lollipop forest is too big for only 3 ponies."
A twig snaps.
"SCATTER ROCKETS!"
She fires a barrage of rockets which turn to even smaller rockets at the direction of the sound.
*FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM*
 
"PLASMA CANNON!"
*WOOPEEEWSH*
The area completely lights up.
 
"SENTRY MODE: MINIGUN!"
TBDRLIATU turns into a minigun and lays down suppressing fire, mowing down lollipop trees easily.
 
"INCENDIARY GRENADE!"
She tosses a grenade for good measure.
*BOOOM*
It sets fire to the lollipops trees and everything in front of her is completely decimated. DT looks on cautiously
 
"...Cadence?...Pinkie?...Did I get you?"
Nothing answers, but the sound of burning.
 
"...I wonder if I went overboard?"
TBDRLIATU starts sinking into the ground.
 
"Oh *CENSORED*!"
Out of the corner of her eye she sees dark figure, but when she turns it's no longer there.
 
"So it's still game on eh?"
TBDRLIATU swivals automatically shooting at something in the trees.
 
[spoiler]It can see me...huh.[/spoiler]
 
DT still sees nothing and her precious sentry rocket launcher is still sinking.
"No no no no no!"
She tries to pull him out, but her hind legs start sinking in. TBRLIATU's barrel gets stuck as well.
 
"ROCKET BOOS-"
A tiny arm on TBDRLIATU pops out to grab something coming at DT, but the gleam of a knife slices through it. DT falls backwards.
 
"*gasp* M-my. MY LEGS!"
Her hind legs were sliced clean off and gushing blood.
 
[spoiler]Hm, it deflected my attack too.[/spoiler]
Before completely sinking, TBDRLIATU shoots out smoke canisters and the last thing DT make out is the gleam of a knife coming at her.
 
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Rarity'
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but passing out causes delays!
 
Smoke can be seen in the distance.
>I think DT and Cadence found each other.
 
"Isn't it cheating for us to be working together?"
 
>There's no rule against it.
 
'But it seems unsportsmarelike.'
 
>No no no. Pinks like us do things a little different. We're more extreme, inappropriate touching is okay, experimentation is encouraged, and of course we go full out no matter what.
 
"...does Shining Armor or Filthy Rich know about-"
 
>The point is we're not embarrassed to show certain sides of ourselves to each other and that includes stacking sides to make sure I come on top!
 
'...I don't quite follow, but...that's what she said?'
 
>You said it! Yes! Hahaha!
 
"How did ya even figure out that she was trying to set up an innuendo joke?"
 
'I took a stab in the dark that Pinkie has pent-up bad lewd jokes. She knows they're bad, but wants to tell-.'
The gleam of a knife stabs Rarity's side multiple times and disappears in the blink of an eye.
'Uuungh!'
 
"Rarity what's-"
The knife slashes the side of AJ's neck.
"Guhngh!"
 
>Applejack!
Pinkie sidesteps the swing of the knife.
>Where are you?
Pinkie's tail twitches and she rolls out of the way as a candy branch impales the ground.
[spoiler]Whoops.[/spoiler]
 
>I saw that!
The spiked branch pops out of the ground and through Pinkie's left leg.
>AHHH!
 
[spoiler]Gotcha[/spoiler]
Pinkie sees the gleam and blocks, but her left ear gets sliced off. Her hoof blocks her vision, but she instinctively punches back the knife wielder. The figure disappears as soon as she moves her hoof away.
[spoiler]Feisty.[/spoiler]
 
>Who are you? Stop hiding in the spoilers!
 
[spoiler]Oh this is much more fun.[/spoiler]
[But since you're curious who I am.]
A blood covered buffalo reveals himself.
 
>...Shia LaBuffalo?
 
He chews on Pinkie's ear that he lopped off.
[In the flesh.]
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Rarity'
[Shia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but it feels so empty without me!
 
Shia LaBuffalo swallows Pinkie's ear.
>You mean those stories about you being a cannibal are real!?
 
[I'm not an actual cannibal in real life, but I do eat ponies in the dream world, soooo sort of.]
He starts eating a bloody pink wing.
[You have great taste in friends.]
 
>WHAT DID YOU DO!
 
[Relax, I only took her wings. Cadence is still around.]
A cut up wingless Cadence dangles from a tree, wrapped up in Red Vines.
[See? Oh and your tiny friend was funny too.]
Takes a bite of a detached tiny pink leg.
[Lost her in the smoke, but I currently control the forest and she's not getting far with her stumpy legs.]
 
>YOU'LL PAY!
Pinkie pulls her leg out of the spike.
>PINK FURY PUNCHES!
She punches Shia multiple times, but he seems unfazed.
 
[Cool, I guess it's my turn now?]
He choke slams Pinkie to the ground and stomps her chest.
 
>Oof!
 
[I've been meaning to try an actual Ponka for a while. Glad I finally have the chance.]
 
'BINDING CLOTH!'
Shia is wrapped in a red cloth. He looks and sees Rarity's side has been bandaged by cloth.
'Now Applejack!'
 
Applejack has a cloth wrapped around her neck and aims her halberdshotgun.
"SEEDSHOT!"
She shoots and the seeds rip apart the side of his face. Half his jaw is gone.
 
[...]
 
"...ew."
 
He looks toward Applejack with his mutilated face.
[...now that wasn't very nice.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Rarity'
{Cadence}
[Shia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but don't you want to know what happens next?
 
Shia's face molds back to normal.
[You girls still think the injuries are real? That's funny.]
 
"Uh, BUCKSHOT!"
*BANG*
His face reforms.
 
"APPLE SHOT!"
*BANG*
"BULLET SEED!"
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*
 
[You do realize this is all a dream right? You don't have to be hurt if you don't think you are. It's all about focusing your mind.]
He stomps on Pinkie's throat.
>Ack!
 
'Why are you doing this?'
 
[Mostly because I feel like it. I'm just going to take a few bites then wipe your memory of it afterward. It'll be like it was all a bad dream when you wake up. No harm.]
 
"Why do you even need to bite us?!"
 
[It was tragic. One time there was a shadowy figure who claimed he was my true self, but I remember the song about Cannibal me, so I channeled my strength and I ate him. Was always hungry ever since.]
 
{P...pinkie....he ate his shadow.}
 
[Correct! You win a knife to the-]
 
Applejack plants her halberd part into his head and Pinkie grabs his leg and twist him to the ground.
"You're not doing anything to her."
 
>Tell me if this hurts.
Pinkie kicks his head completely off and it rolls to the side.
 
[...Nah. Does this?]
The knife rips the cloth binding his body and slashes at Pinkie.
 
'SCARF CATCH!'
Rarity extends her scarf and wraps around the knife. She yanks it and sends the knife at Cadence cutting the Red Vines that kept her tied. Applejack rushes in and catches her.
 
{Ooof! Thanks.}
They all look back to Shia, but he vanished without a trace. The sky turns from a happy pink to a pitch black. Shia's voice echo from the trees.
 
[Welcome to my hunger games.]
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Rarity'
{Cadence}
[Shia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but procrastination sucks!
 
"Where'd he go?"
 
'I think he's part of the forest now.'
 
>No, he controls the forest, but he still has a form.
 
{What are we going to do?}
 
>We need to find DT and see if she's alright.
 
[spoiler][Why aren't you tapping into your power?][/spoiler]
 
>What?
 
[spoiler][You're just like us. Why do you hang out with these people?][/spoiler]
 
"Are you talking to someone sugarcube?"
 
>Because they're my friends, duh. He's hiding in the spoilers.
 
"What's that suppose to mean?"
 
'Maybe we should just let it play out darling.'
 
[spoiler][Ah, but you can be so much more in the dream world.][/spoiler]
 
Cadence takes a piece of the Red Vine and turns it into a swordwhip.
{I guess it'll do.}
 
[spoiler][You should join our group. It'd be fun you know?][/spoiler]
 
>If I didn't join the dream eaters. I'm not going to join you either.
 
[spoiler][Ah, speaking of which them, time to tell you real reason I'm here while I'm in the spoilers. Some ponies were kind of mad that you took down the Dream Eater farm. You ended the conflict. Now we don't have anything to throw the blame at. Some of us decided to let it go. Others...they wanted me to deliver a message.][/spoiler]
He appears behind Pinkie and slashes her back.
 
>AHH!
She kicks behind her and hits nothing, but air as he disappears.
 
[spoiler][Stay out of our affairs.][/spoiler]
He appears again dives down on Pinkie with the knife, but she catches on and somersault kicks him mid-air.
 
>...Then stay out of ours.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Rarity'
{Cadence}
[Shia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we're trying!
 
Pinkie's kick lands Shia on the ground. He smiles and stands back up.
[Feisty.]
 
{LOVE STING!}
Cadence's swordwhip extends stabbing Shia's abdoman.
 
"SHOTGUN BLAST!"
AJ blows a hole in his chest.
 
'GORGEOUS DRILL!'
Rarity spins her scarf into a drill and pierces Shia.
 
>PONK METEOR PUNCH!
Pinkie delivers a smashing punch from above.
 
[SHIA STAB]
A knife goes into Pinkie's shoulder.
>Ungh! PINK COUNTER!
She breaks the foreleg that he used to stab her shoulder.
 
[SHIA BINDS]
Roots sprout from the ground binding everyone's legs except Shia's.
[IMPALEMENT!]
A thin wooden spike appears underneath them. The roots pull them all onto the spike.
 
>"'{UHHH!!!}'"
 
[Useless.]
 
>I...I got the message. Aren't you done now?
 
[Oh. Yeah, but the other part is just fun. I'm kinda disappointed in you though. You have power. Why do you hold it back?]
 
>I urgh!
Tries to tug herself free.
>I don't need it!
 
[I know what it is. You're scared. I don't understand why. In the dreamworld we can be anything we want, but you've chosen to be fearful. We ARE in YOUR dream. You should have far more control than I do. If your mind is strong enough, you'd be able to break away from those roots easily. You're only bound because you think you are.]
He raises up the knife.
[So c'mon. Let me see that inner power.]
He stabs Pinkie.
 
>GAHH!
 
[Show me your true self.]
 
>Maybe you should take me to dinner first.
He stabs again.
>Urgh!
 
=I'LL KILL YOU!=
Shia turns and finds a DT with lollipop wheels on her stump legs. She emits a burning murderous aura.
=I'LLKILLYOU I'LLKILLYOU I'LLKILLYOU I'LLKILLYOU!!!=
The roots waver for a moment.
 
[Oho, my games just got interesting.]