https://pastebin.com/K7wLXu5j
 
you wouldn't breed a sphinx
 
>"Answer me these questions three!"
"And then I get to fuck you, right?"
>"W-What?"
"That's the deal. I answer the questions, then I get to fuck the shit out of you."
>"That is NOT the deal! Where in Equestria did you even get that idea?!"
"From a Barbados shoelace crafting committee."
>"What even is that?!"
"Internet."
>"I don't know what an internet is either!"
"Well I would expect so considering you pretty much live under a rock."
>"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"A lot of things. However I think I've answered more than three questions at this point. Time for my reward."
>"Those weren't my questions!"
"Sure sounded like questions to me."
>"Listen here you little- oh no."
>Stone encases her legs, making her unable to move
>It stops just short of her body though
"Looks like the curse of the sphinx understands exactly what I want."
>"Curse you!"
"No no, curse you~"
>You grab yourself a handful
>"L-Listen, I'm sure there's something else you want. Money? Fame? Power? I can grant any wish!"
"All I want is some sweet, sweet sphinx pussy."
>"By the gods! I will not be had by a monkey!"
"Baby, after this you'll be erecting a mural to the God of HMD."
>"Nooooooooooooo!"
"That's right, sing my praises."
 
 
 
>"HUUUUMAAAAAN!"
"Oh hey there, sphinxy!"
>"Don't you call me that!"
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
>"I'm here for revenge!"
"A dish best served cold, I hear."
>"Yes, very cold! This time you will answer my questions, you will fail miserably, and then I will devour you whole!"
"Sounds kinky."
>"STOP THAT!"
"I most certainly will not."
>"You are insufferable!"
"I'll take that as a compliment. So, you answer my three questions and if you fail I get to fuck you again, right?"
>"Yes- NO! What?! No!"
"Are you sure about that?"
>"You are not a sphinx!"
"Sure I am."
>"You are not!"
"Am too."
>"Are not!"
"Am too!"
>"Are not!"
"Am not!"
>"Are too!"
"Well then I'll take your word for it."
>"Exactly- WAIT WHAT?!"
"So now the ball is officially in my court."
>"That's not how it works!"
>Her nemes appears on your head in a burst of magic
"Really? It seems your curse disagrees."
>"H-How?!"
"Shame, that's three questions right there. You don't learn very well. But don't worry, you're not the sphinx at the moment and I'm a sporting chap. I'll give you another chance."
>She's practically frothing at the mouth
"For my first question: what is your favorite sexual position?"
>"I'm not answering that!"
"Oho! You must really want my dick if you're willing to fail so quickly."
>"No! Shut up! Fine! I-I'll answer..."
>She remains silent for a moment
"I'm waiting. Any day now."
>"Give me a moment, dammit! I... I like to look into my lover's eyes as we embrace-"
"Aww."
>"Don't patronize me! And before you get any cute ideas, it will not be with you!"
"Oh I beg to differ. Second question then: what is your most depraved sexual fantasy?"
>"What is it with you and sex?! If this is how all your questions will be, you will become stone anyway!"
"Hey, I'm the one asking the questions here. Besides, I'm already rock hard."
>You watch with intense interest as she trembles slightly, trying to work up the courage to answer you
>But this is her body on the line
>She blushes hotly
>"I want t-to be tied up a-and tickled until I..."
"God that's so fucking hot."
>"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I hate you!"
"Aww, that's not very nice."
>"I do not care! Ask me your last question so we can be done with this charade!"
"Fine then. Third and final question: what's heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of iron?"
>"What? What kind of question is that? A pound of iron, obviously. And here I thought you were going to ask me something lewd again."
>You stare at her
>Like really stare
>Is this nigga serious right now?
>It takes a moment, but her mistake slowly catches up with her
>"Oh fuck me."
"That's the plan."
>She sits her ass down as the stone starts to creep up her legs
>"Good luck with that, then."
"You're still talking, aren't you?"
>Fear sparks in her eyes as her neck and jaw locks up
"I was banking on you being stupid, but this is ridiculous. What was that you said earlier about devouring me whole?"
>Her eyes move to look into yours as you loom over her
"You turned into stone for like a week when you lost last time, right? That means you'll be tasting my semen for a week after I nut in your mouth and leave you petrified."
>Leaning down you whisper in her ear
"And I'm going to leave the hat on while I do it."
>You end up pelvic-booping her snootle for the next half hour and leaving her stoned in a puddle of her own juices
>Also you got a swanky new hat, fucking score!
 
 
>"Human."
"Oh hey, you must really be a masochist."
>"I just want my headdress back."
"But it looks so much better on me!"
>"I'm asking you nicely."
"I prefer begging. Really gets the loins stirring, you know?"
>"I will not beg a thief!"
"So you'd rather play another question game?"
>She steps back from you warily
>"The moment I was out of my stone prison, I brushed my teeth until my gums bled!"
"What a way to get AIDS."
>"I suffered with your... egh, 'taste' for a week!"
"That was the plan!"
>"It was a horrible plan! What kind of monster are you?!"
"Funny, and here I thought I was the one speaking to a mythological beast."
>"I am no mere beast! Do not treat me as one!"
"But where's the fun in that?"
>"What fun do you take in tormenting me?!"
"The sexy kind."
>"...Why did I think you were going to answer with anything else?"
"Because despite having two weeks to reflect, you still haven't really gotten it through that thick sphinx skull of yours that I'm an asshole."
>"What is it that you want?" she sighs
"To breed you, obviously."
>"B-Breed?! There are thousands of ponies to do that with! Minotaurs! Griffons! Why me?!"
"Cuz you're cute!"
>She groans
"And I like sexually bullying cute things. Gives me a story to tell the boys back home."
>She looks at her hat forlornly
>"I just want my nemes back."
"What, no revenge this time?"
>"I have learned my lesson! I do not wish to become your plaything again!"
"You? Learning a lesson? I'll believe it when I see it. Besides, are you sure this is all you're here for?"
>"What do you mean?"
"You sure it isn't just a convenient excuse to come see me again?"
>"Why would I want to see you?!"
"Come on. A whole week of tasting me. That musky, viscous love batter in your mouth. Don't tell me you weren't thinking of me."
>"I- I most certainly was not!"
"So why is it you're suddenly blushing?"
>"Wha- I-I-I merely am wary of your intentions!"
"My intentions are right on the table."
>"That's what bothers me!"
"Every moment that cum coated your tongue, you were reminded of me. Of what I did to you. An entire week of sex running through your mind with no way to get off. Must have been frustrating, no?"
>Her hind legs buckle inwards
"I bet you masturbated for hours the moment you were free."
>The widening of her eyes tells you everything you need to know
>"W-What arrogance! Do you fancy yourself some kind of sexual chess master?!"
"Ooh, I like that title!"
>"You, you- YOU!"
"Me!"
>She pounces on you, pinning you down
>"Give me back my headdress!"
"Goodness, the least you can do is take me out to dinner first!"
>"You are MY dinner!"
"I knew you couldn't get over the taste!"
>She screams in frustration and yanks the hat off of you
>Then immediately spits it out
>"Eargh! What did you do to my nemes?!"
"I've been using it as a cum rag."
>"And you wore it on your head?!"
"Gotta assert my dominance somehow!"
>"You are a disgusting, perverse and depraved lunatic!"
"And that's why you love me!"
>"I do not love you! The lion does not hold affection for the sheep! You are my food, nothing more!"
"So you play with your food often?"
>"Not this time."
>Her mouth opens wide, revealing her fangs
>Those were so much cuter poking out of her lips when you were muzzle-fucking her
"Hey now, you still have to answer me these questions three-"
>"Raaaarrh! Screw the games! I will devour you now!"
>Her maw comes down
>Oh shit, is it over for dear old Anon?
>The fangs press against the flesh of your neck, but stop just short of penetrating
>A growl escapes her as she keeps trying to maneuver her head and lunges at you repeatedly, each time with no luck
>"Why can't I kill you?!"
"It might be because you're turning to stone again."
>Sure enough, her legs are taking on a cement-ish hue all the way up to her shoulders and haunches
>"Impossible! Even I do not hold the power to activate the curse whenever I please! Tell me how you did this!"
"I didn't. You merely refused to play the game. Therefore, I win."
>"That's- AGHHHHHHHH!"
>She's lost it now
>You just lay back and grin as you watch her sanity tear itself apart
>Her body twists and writhes as she tries to escape her own stony bonds, rubbing her nethers against your pitched tent
>Hey, nearly dying can have some unexpected reactions from a man, you know?
>Just bullshitting, you're always at full mast
>About ten minutes of screaming later, she comes down from her wrathful high, breathing hard, before hanging her head in resignation
>"You're going to have your way with me again, aren't you?"
"Every week until you like it!"
>"Just get it over with."
"There's no reason you can't enjoy it too."
>"I do not enjoy this!"
"Is that why your tail is raised?"
>The red-faced pout she gives her tail could put a bloody crime scene to shame
"You know, you said before you wanted to be tied up and tickled to orgasm."
>"I told you that in confidence!" she looks around frantically as if someone is going to hear
"Well half that deed is done, so to speak. I can still do that for you."
>Her breathing catches in her throat as you see the gears turning in her eyes
"Oh yeah, I can place you in the middle of town and rut you right where everyone can see. Public humiliation at its finest."
>"Where every- no!"
"Oh indeed! And I know just the hole that hasn't seen any action, yet!"
>Her tail clamps down with the force of a mouse trap
>"You wouldn't!"
"I am going to plow that supple sphinxter shitter like it was prime farmland by the Nile!"
>She bites her lip
>Something begins dripping on the crotch of your pants
"Ohoho. Are you perchance a buttslut?"
>"N-No!"
"Does the thought of being exposed turn you on? To be anally annihilated in front of a crowd of onlookers? Tickled laughing and peeing yourself while being rutted like a mindless animal?"
>"St-Stop!"
>You whisper hotly in her ear
"It will become your legacy. They will tell the tale forever of how the mighty sphinx became a slave to her own desires."
>"Why do you hate me so?!"
"You mean aside from the whole trying to eat me thing? Really, I don't hate you. Quite the contrary, I like you very much. There aren't many who can take my shenanigans lying down and spring back so quickly. Fewer still who I see have the potential to become a complete degenerate like you. So I'll level with you. I likes ya and I wants ya."
>"You like me?! Before I was merely afraid, now I know the true meaning of fear!"
>With a laugh you get out from under her, grab her backside and begin pushing her towards the village
>"W-Wait! We can talk about this, can't we? Please, I do not want to be degraded in front of the ponies!"
"Oh, you're going to love it. Love having them watch you as every bit of fear and respect they once had for your majesty turns to sand. In fact, I think school gets out around now. You'll even have the pleasure of being violated in front of the foals!"
>"You're sick!"
"No, I'm Anon!"
>Her mouth keeps telling you no
>But her body, HER BODY
>Is leaving a trail of sphinx juice behind you
>Hell, your shoes are squelching in it
>Before long you make it to the center of town
>The townsfolk gather 'round in equal parts awe and terror
>Your qt sphinx is looking more scared by the second
>>"Look! He has vanquished the sphinx!"
>>"Don't let that thing near my children!"
>>"What is it doing back here after all this time?!"
>>"Why does it smell like wet cat and shrimp?"
>>"Hark! The hero speaks!"
"Greetings, fillies and gentlecolts. It is my extreme pleasure to introduce you to your legend, the sphinx!"
>You give her a slap on the rump and she yelps, drawing gasps from the crowd as she shows off her fangs to all present
"For weeks this creature has sought to best me in intellectual combat. Thankfully no one can get past the shaky foundations of my mental gymnastics!"
>>"Wow! He must be really smart!"
>>"He is the hero we deserve!"
>>"Why is he wearing a cum rag on his head?"
>>"You idiot, we're all wearing cum rags on our heads!"
"I come before you today to put an end to this game of cat and incredibly handsome mouse. For you see, per the rules of our engagement, I am allowed a token of triumph for my efforts in defeating her fair and square."
>Her tail whips you in the face
>Rude!
>You grab onto it and lift it high
"So now I claim my prize before you all. May history tell of my deeds so that none may forget."
>She turns to look at you with one last pleading look of dread
>"Human, I beg of you now."
"No need for foreplay, I'm already raring to go."
>"Please don't do this."
"But we're already here and you're soaking wet."
>"Please!"
"Spare yourself the indignity. Do you really want them to see you grovel?"
>With your free hand, you unzip dick
>The audience is rapt at attention as you spit right on her pucker, causing her to contract it in shock
"Witness me."
>You take the plunge
>She arcs her head back and mewls loudly
>The ponies gasp in shock, surprise and disgust
>Time to get this show on the road
>A resounding slap fills the town square as you smack your hand against the sphinx's ass and bury yourself deeper
>With each roughshod thrust your hand comes back down to leave a fresh print against her bottom
>She grits her teeth, eyes wide and trembling as she does her best to save face in front of the crowd of onlookers
>Soon however those eyes of hers start to roll back in her head, drool seeping out of the corner of her mouth as she involuntarily lets out a purr, followed by a whine
>She knows she's lost the battle already, each whisper from onlookers at how much she's enjoying it causing her bravado to falter even further
>There's no point in holding onto that pride now
>Slap, slap, slap, slap
>"Unf, un, unf, unfh!"
>Grabbing her by the hips, you yank yourself forward to the hilt
>She lets out a guttural roar
>"Fuck me! More! Please! Harder! HARDER!"
>And the damn just broke
>She's salivating like a hungry, eyes glazing over as she makes eye contact with the ponies there
>Slap, slap, SLAP, SLAP
>You yank her tail hard and grind into her asshole, earning you another mewl of contentment
>Slowly you begin to press on her until she's face down, ass up and drooling from both ends all over your makeshift podium
>Pump after pump you feel her inner walls contract and spasm wildly against your fleshy intruder
>Now would be the perfect time to make good on your promise
>Ceasing the slapping, which is good seeing as her ass now looks like a cherry tomato, you begin to make your hands wander across her fur
>"Ngh, uhng! H-Human?"
>Your digits find their purchase in her soft furry sides and begin tickling
>"Ah- Ahaha- HAHAHAHA! St-StAHAHAP! NO! PLE-HEEHEESE!"
>She's unable to fight back, half-stoned as she is as you continue your assault
>Your fingers don't let up for a moment
>She's laughing and heaving and contracting with every spasm caused by the sensation
>Her anus clenches around you and sucks inwards erratically, nearing causing you to fall to your knees
>Oh fuck, her ass has taken on a mind of its own
>Fingers dig and hips thrust as she wiggles about violently, moaning and laughing at your administrations
>Tears stain her cheeks as her smile strains itself
>Reaching under her with one hand, you begin massaging across her sopping mound
>Her sides ache and she groans, mind lost to the sensation
>It isn't long before the first orgasm crashes over her, causing her to shout breathlessly
>Her anus constricts painfully around you as if she's trying to devour you from the other end
>Gush after gush of love juice blasts forth from her pussy, drenching your bare legs and the pants around your ankles in the process
>You get back to tickling her again as you manage to find relief on the vacuum around your cock
>"Sto... Hu... no more..."
>Her laughs are barely coming out any more, she's choking for air so badly
>Tears fill her eyes as she scrunches up her face
>"N-Noooo..."
>Her orgasm is followed shortly by a stream of urine
>You fingerpop her as her bladder empties, causing after shocks of the preceding orgasm to interrupt the flow sporadically
>It's goddamn Niagara Falls here in the desert
>As she lies panting in an ocean of her own bodily fluids, you pick up the pace to focus on your own growing need
>Thankfully her wings are splayed back so you have something to hold onto
>Grabbing her wings, you use them as reins as you steady you footing and begin thrusting at an increased tempo
>"Fgh! M-My wings!"
>Soon the slapping returns, this time made by the sound of your balls colliding with her labia
>She shakily rises, tongue lolling out, face towards the sky as her ears twitch and spasm with the rest of her face
>Your fingers knead into the soft membrane of her wings, causing her to moan with every ounce of pressure
>Leaning back, you're near piledriving yourself into her backside, putting your knees into it as you use her wings as leverage
>A familiar warmth spreads through your cock as it begins to throb
>This is it
>The time has come and now so are you
>Your speed reaches maximum overthrust, shaking the sphinx as you turn into a rotor
>You can't even feel your balls anymore as they've gone numb from all the slapping, but the tug is unmistakable
>With a final, earth-moving thrust, you sink into her depths and let loose a torrent of your seed
>The grip on her wings tightens, the multiple stimulations proving to be too much as her pupils turn into pinpricks and she lets out a window shattering scream as her second orgasm hits her harder than the first
>She damn near crushes you in a vice grip, pulling you in and forcibly extracting every last drop of cum she can get
>Your vision whites out as you melt into her deathly embrace, warmth turning into fire as your penis becomes one with the orgasm
>As the crescendo dies down, you slump over her as her cheek hits the pavement in a daze
>Holy shit, it feels like you just ran a marathon
>Sweat drips from your chest on her back, coat slick with its own sheen of exertion
>As you gaze into the crowd, hundreds of horrified faces stare back
>They fucking witnessed, alright
>And you think you hear the local law enforcement coming
>Giving your sphinx a pat on the side and a mild shake, you try to get her attention
>"fhsfhlj" she gurgles
>Very eloquent, but now is not the time for riddles
>And she's stoning over fast, shit
"Hey. Hey wake up."
>You snap your fingers in quick succession
>"Whaa. Mmn. Hooman, I kinnot go anova rount. You've, ha... r-ruined meh. In more wayz than ooone."
"And I loved every second of it, but I need you to focus now and take back your headpiece."
>"Why... ugh, why would you return it... to me now at the end? Is this part of your plan to humiliate me?"
"Just take the damn thing."
>You drop the hat on her head
>"I... suppose I'll see you in a week, to gloat over my broken reputation."
"Don't tell me you didn't have fun."
>"It was horrifying. Liberating. I want to both break you and kiss you. I don't know anymore."
"Yeah, that's the hormones speaking. Anyway-"
>A shout catches your attention
>Pretty sure it's this village's version of the guard, but more mercenary-like
>One of the stallions goes splashing into a deep puddle, shouting for help
>Good lord, she created quicksand
"Quickly, ask of me your questions three!"
>She turns her head towards you and quirks an eyebrow
>"...You can't be serious."
"Now is not the time to get cold paws."
>"Why?"
"That's one. And it's because I'd rather not get taken in for public indecency. This would be like the thirtieth strike on my record and Celestia said she has a very special place in Tartarus for degenerates like me."
>"This nation's monarch? Why would you care about her judgement when you don't even fear me?"
"Two. That's because ponies don't turn into stone or acquiesce to my demands because of a curse when I bullshit them. You're the most fun I've had in years!"
>"Ugh, figures."
"And your last one?"
>She takes a moment to ponder, before looking into your eyes, unsure with herself
>"Do you actually like me? Was all this just for your sick amusement or did you mean what you said before?"
>Heh
>A grin splits your mouth as you reach over and give her a gentle kiss on the snoot
"I refuse to answer that."
>"What?"
>Standing up again, you smile down at her as you feel the cool sensation of stone start to crawl up your legs
>Her eyes widen as you slowly start to gray over
>"But why?"
>The stone cascades over your crotch, sealing you to her and sending chills up your spine
"What's the fun in always knowing the answer?"
>She turns her head to the approaching guards and smiles
>"What a strange, perverted little man."
>You lift your arm and point one finger to the sky as you rest your other hand on your hip, tie flowing in the wind
>And with a final crack, turn completely to stone
>So there you stand, the village's new statue
>Sphinx stretched in the IWTCI pose with you behind her, pants around your ankles and buried deep in her ass, a smile across your stony face as you point to the heavens
>You always said you were going to have a monument to your sins
>And you damn well got one
 
End
 
Part 2
 
>"Anonymous?"
"Sup?"
>"Answer me these questions three."
"Really? We're really gonna do this again?"
>"Shush. I am trying to get my mind off the fact we're stuck in... what did you call this place again?"
"Guantanamo Bay for ponies."
>Yeah, you have no idea why you thought that plan would work
>They just moved your rocky form behind bars and waited for you to destatuate
>Sheesh, they walk around naked all the time, it's like they've never seen genitals before!
>"That. Anyway, first question. What do prisons and bodies have in common?"
"They're both a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love?"
>"A word, more specifically."
"Uhh..."
>"Five letters."
"Cells? Wait, are you doing a fucking crossword puzzle?"
>"We've been here for well over a month. I am getting bored and wanted to exercise my mind."
"You could exercise that mouth instead if you know what I'm saying."
>"Pass. There's only so much endless rutting I can do before I want to try other things."
"Wow, on my planet that's fucking heresy!"
>"I do not care. Second question. What is the name of a syndrome commonly associated with feelings of attachment towards a captor?"
"Stockholm. It's what I used to get you to fall for me."
>She spits out her pen and glares at you
>"Your mating habits are sociopathic at BEST."
"You know you love it."
>"Do I? I believe 'gave up' is the more correct term for it."
"Love has many names, baby. I'll take what I can get."
>"Figures, you would be the only creature I know who would willingly try to mate with a sphinx."
"My kind has traveled far and wide in the pursuit of fucking new things."
>"Not too unlike ponies trying to spread their message of love to all corners of the globe, then. Always trying to make friends with others."
"Yeah, we're like ponies with benefits!"
>"Hah. The only benefits I know of with ponies is how delectable they are."
"Agree with you there, sister."
>"Something tells me you don't mean that like how I mean it."
"Really? What gave it away?"
>She rolls her eyes at you
>"Gee, I wonder."
>She picks up her pen again and jots down the answer
"So wait, about that third question: aren't you worried about turning to stone again? I don't want to be alone in here, there's only so many lewd things you can do to a statue."
>"Oh, there is no third question. We're done here."
"You what?"
>"I only had the two. Since I ultimately got what I wanted out of you, the game became nullified."
"Wait a damn minute. Are you saying you could have spared yourself the humiliation by just surrendering and giving me what you knew I wanted in the first place? That we could have avoided all this?"
>She looks up from her paper and stares into nothingness, pen dropping once again from her slackened mouth
"Oh you sweet summer child."
>There's a clang and the sound of a gate sliding open before someone rattles your bars
>Turning, you spy one of the more decorated guards giving you the stink eye
>>"Attention, prisoners. I am the warden of this fine establishment. I have had the pleasure of locking up the toughest criminals this side of Equestria from Alca Pone to Aloha Snackbar, so don't get any funny ideas about leaving this place anytime soon."
"Jesus, is this really necessary for a bit of public hankypanky?"
>The guard gives you a stern look as he licks his hoof and starts flipping through a file
>>"Prisoner Anonymous, correct?"
"Oh I wouldn't say that. I've become quite well known by now!"
>>"Funny. Y'see it says here you're wanted on multiple counts of arson, vandalism, money laundering, inciting riots, starting bar fights, petty theft, grand theft- how in the hell did you steal the Canterlot observatory right out from under everypony's noses?"
"Would you believe I did it with nothing but a paperclip and a book of matches?"
>>"No, I wouldn't. Jaytrotting, illegal parking, unauthorized use of military assets, cock fighting-"
"Hehe."
>>"-false advertisement, non-consensual cuddling-"
"Is that what they're calling it these days?"
>>"-destruction of private property, zebra trafficking-"
"I just wanted to see how many I could fit on a boat!"
>>"-staging a coup, counterfeiting, public indecency-"
>"There's my go-to hobby!"
>>"-and the reason why you're in here now. Shoplifting, dining and dashing, hiring a hitpony on Yakyakistan royalty, about thirty other minor felonies and an overdue book which, and I quote the princess of friendship here, "Is an affront to all things decent and wholesome." And that's just the first page."
"God damn it, Sparkle."
>>"You're a very sick individual, Anonymous."
"I prefer to call it creativity!"
>>"Doesn't matter, you're going to be in here for a long time. As for your friend there, we can't let such a dangerous monster loose on Equestrian soil."
"Don't you talk about my waifu like that!"
>>"Wife, eh? You two demons are made for each other."
"Aww thanks. Want to attend the wedding?"
>Seems your sphinx chooses that moment to come out of her stupor
>"Wedding?! We planned no such thing!"
"Yeah, that seems to be how our relationship works. I make the plans you're not privy to and you just come along for the ride."
>"E-Even if I did agree to such a thing- which I don't! -the least you could do is propose to me properly!"
"Me? Proper? You know I'd just sweep you off your paws without asking anyway."
>"I know and I wish you wouldn't!"
"Spontaneity is the spice of life!"
>>"Ahem, not to interrupt this tender moment, but I'm afraid you'll have to put whatever plans you two have on hold. We don't exactly bring catering and pretty dresses onto base."
>Wow, what an ass
>Not even the little hors d'oeuvres?
"You would look beautiful in a wedding dress."
>"Sh-Shut up... I know I would. Shut up."
>>"So now, before I leave you two lovebirds to your misery, are there any questions you have for me pertaining to your stay here or otherwise?"
>Questions? What the hell could you even ask? What's the point?
>You look over to your sphinx companion and lock eyes
>And a grin makes its way to your face
"Actually, we have just three..."
 
>Be hours later
>Be sitting in a fancy dining car headed towards freedom
>The two of you just pulled off an escape from a high security prison
>And the warden got totally stoned
>Anyone who saw you leave won't be reporting it for another week
>Sitting back with a content sigh, you knock a champagne class against your compatriot's and toss it back
>"I see now why you love this 'bullshitting' so much."
"It's a talent I'm good at."
>"Not good, great. What else are you planning in that disturbing mind of yours?"
"Heh, you ever hear the tale of Bonnie and Clyde?"
>"Sounds interesting. I assume since you bring it up they were in much the same position as us?"
"In a sense."
>"Well you have plenty of time to regale me about it later. I am curious, where to now?"
"Now? Anywhere the wind takes us."
>"An adventure, then? I must confess I am growing bored of old tombs and crypts."
>You look out over the horizon from the train window and smile
"Baby, I can show you the world."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Extra Shorts
 
>"Hoomun! Ansawh me dese queshuns free!"
>Oh no, you've been confronted by a loli sphinx
>I told you 'bout lion country bro
>Quickly, get in the van before she turns you to stone with her cuteness and uses you as a resting perch
"Alright."
>You fool, what are you doing?!
>"Really? Oh! Umm..."
"You didn't think of any, did you?"
>"No... nobody wants to pway wif me..."
"I'll play with you."
>"You will?!"
"Of course."
>"A-And you like widdles?"
"Love them."
>"And-"
"Careful now, this is your third question."
>"Will you be my fweind?"
>You smile
"I'd like that."
>She squees and prances around happily
>"Um, can I ask you one mow queshun?"
"That's not how the game works."
>She gives the kitty-cat eyes
"But I don't see why not."
>"C-Can you be my daddy?"
>Hnnnnggg
>Today you adopted a sphinx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
>"Somnambula!"
>Somwhatnow? From the legend?
"Shouldn't you be dead?"
>>"I have come to stop you, foul beast!"
"Seriously, how the hell are you still alive?"
>"I will destroy you!"
"It's been like how many centuries?"
>>"You can try, but you will fail!"
"I know she's divine, but you?"
>"We shall see about that!"
"Oh god, this isn't the Mummy is it? Is your brain in a jar somewhere? Are you made out of scarabs?"
>"What are you mumbling about now?"
>>"You and your thrall are done for!"
"Wait a minute. If you want to stop us, you'll have to answer me these questions three."
>The tiny pone smirks
>>"Since when was your job taken over by an ape?"
>"Silence you impudent little worm! I've waited long for this. Anon, relinquish my power so that I may have my revenge!"
"I kind of already started the game, hon."
>She sneers at you
>"Screw this up and you'll be sleeping in the crypt tonight."
>B-But that place is spoopy
>>"Very well then, ask me your questions. I prevailed against her last time, I shall prevail again against you."
"Confidence raped the cat."
>>"I believe you mean 'curiosity killed the cat'?"
"I know what I said."
>You get a tail whip to the face for your smarm
"Ahem. Five feet long and hard as a rock, the girth of this thing will cause you to balk. I'm sure it will come as a terrible shock, entering your door when it breaks your lock. What is it?"
>Famblambula taps her chin in thought before grinning
>>"A battering ram!"
>Her smile falters however when it's met with your own
"Yeah, that's one word for it. The correct answer is 'cock'."
>She steps back in disgust
>"Ugh, of course it is."
"What, after all that rhyming did you really think it was going to be anything else?"
>>"You are disgusting."
>"Ignore him. His brain has been replaced entirely with his libido."
>>"I refuse to play this game any longer if this is the route it will take!"
"Well, you dun fucked up."
>Shamhamdroola gasps as her legs turn to stone
>>"W-What sorcery is this?!"
>"It seems I will get to have my revenge after all!"
"Oh, you will alright. Now as for my prize, feel the growth between your thighs."
>"What? What do you-"
>Sphinxfu's eyes grow wide as she looks under her carriage to a new appendage flopping heavily out of her groin
>"Anonymous, what is this?"
"What does it look like?"
>"It looks like a giant, floppy dong."
"Really? Well I suppose you should introduce our new friend to the way we do things around here."
>"You were planning this from the moment she walked in, weren't you?" she deadpans
"Pretty much."
>"...I can work with this."
>A feral grin splits her face as she looms over the frightened mare
>Two massive paws draw the pony against her throbbing girth before she bites roughly into her neck and lines herself up
>You unzip to the sound of her soon to be muffled screams
>Whambamthankyoumaambula
>Today was a getting revenge on a mortal enemy kind of day
 
>You will never join your waifu in Eiffel Towering her new broodmare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
>"I am the guardian of this place! Those who wish to pass must answer me these ques-"
"Omigosh... You're so cute!"
>"Wha? How dare you, mortal! I am the... LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT!"
"You're so soft and fluffy!"
>"I AM NOT FLUFFY! I AM THE GUARDIAN!"
"Who's a good kitty then?"
>"Oh for crying out... actually, this stroking is not disagreeable..."
"You're a pretty kitty! Yes you are!"
>"Flattery will get you nowhere... purrrrrrrrr... however, feel free to continue... a little lower... right there."
"So warm and fluffy."
>"It has, perhaps, been too long since I last had a cuddle."
 
>"Who dare enter this sacred place? Leave or you shall face the wra-"
"Hey kitty!"
>"Of course it's you again... I told you to stop calling me that!"
"A good morning to you, too!"
>"Urgh... What do you want? Don't you see I have important guardian business to do?"
>You're pretty sure she just got out of bed, judging by those stray hairs peeking out under her... What's that even called? Tiara? You gotta ask her later...
"I just want to spend some time with you, talk a bit, maybe-"
>"But why? Did those ponies send you?"
"Nah, nothing like that. I just thought you could use some company. You probably don't get many visitors, right? Plus you're cute and fluffy and I have a thing for big women."
>"Y-You-"
>You can't quite make it out through her red fur, but you think she's blushing.
>"W-Well what if I eat you? I let you leave this place three times now, maybe I'll change my mind today!"
"I brought you some cans of tuna and a fur brush."
>"..."
>"Dammit..."
>She turns around and motions for you to follow her.
>"But don't touch any ancient artifacts! I just got finished recasting all their curses yesterday."
"Sure, kitty."
 
For a beast her size her purrs would be like the vibrations of a massage chair.
 
>Anon lies slumped in the lap of the Sphinx
>the floof
>the gentle rocking
>the subtle rising body warmth
>but most importantly the rhythmic pulse-like purring.
>it had all been too much for Anon. Within minutes he was out like a light.
>his head lulled to the side drooling onto the Sphinxs downy chest much to her annoyance.
"This wreched monkey. Who the hell does he think he is!?"
"I could crush him with my tail alone."
>Anon stirrs
>Shinxy gasps slighrly and continues rocking softly
"I want to clean my chest"
"but I dont want to wake him up..."
"gahh, this is soo gross"
"Gods... why cant I stop purring...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
>"No way to run, no way to flee, before you answer my questions three!"
>You feel an ancient magic swirling around your body, rooting you on the spot and keeping you from moving.
"No warning today? What's with your usual 'Beware of the guardian' speeches?"
>"And let you interrupt me again? You've been avoiding my riddles for long enough! Just be glad I didn't use a stronger curse, like for those pesky ponies..."
"Going easy on your favourite cuddle buddy, huh?"
>Her red fur still is making it hard to see, but you're pretty sure she's blushing now.
>"T-That's preposterous! You just turned out to be one of the better servants I've had, that's all."
"Well, anyway, this curse still is kinda unpleasant, so... Alright, let's play your game."
>"No more interruptions?"
"No more interruptions."
>Her face instantly lights up. Happy kitty!
>"First question: A tasty meal for you to munch, but it's not breakfast, brunch or lunch. What am I?"
>Hmmm. Is she asking for a specific food or... But why not breakfast or lunch? ... Of course! Seems a bit too obvious, but she IS going easy on you, so...
"Dinner."
>"YES!"
>She claps her paws.
>"Uhm, I..."
>Realizing her slip-up, she quickly puts on a stoic expression.
>"That was correct, human."
>"Second question: I warm you, but don't burn your flesh. I'm red as blood or white as snow. Most like me old rather than fresh. I make you happy, sad, let go. What am I?"
>This one's easy. Is she hungry or something?
"Wine."
>"Correct again!"
>She can't help letting a little smile slip through her mask. Though there's a hint of something else you can't quite place...
>"N-now for my last question. Uhm..."
>Nervous. She's nervous. But why? What's going on here?
>"Ok. H-here it is: After dinner and some drinks, could you... w-would you... with a sphinx?"
>thats_not_a_riddle.jpeg
>Woah, is she actually asking you out?!
"Are you... asking me out?"
>*maximum blush activated*
>"No interruptions, j-just answer the question! ... Please?"
>That was unexpected. You know you're her only friend and she likes you, but...
>Damn, she's super adorable, being all flustered and making those kitty eyes.
>Well, after all the friendly flirting and cuddling, you definitely wouldn't mind trying to go a step further.
"Of course I would."
>"R-really?"
"Yes."
>You feel the curse around your body lifting, letting you move again.
>Not that you can make it very far before she pounces at you and wraps her paws around you in a giant fluffy hug.
>A giant fluffy hug that's making it kinda hard to breathe.
"Uhm, could you... please..."
>"Oh, sorry..."
>With a sheepish smile she sets you down, then gently wraps her body around you and lays her head on your lap.
>You begin scritching her behind her ears.
>Purrfect.
"So why the curse and those riddles? You could have just asked me, you silly kitty."
>"It's a sphinx thing, you wouldn't understand..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
>Heeey Nepherkitty! I'm home!
"Who dares to... YOU! You dare return after how you violated me?! I will make your death agonizing!"
>Now now, I know you missed me. I only went for pizza. Can you believe there is not one pizza place in this whole town? Best I could do was falafels, whatever the hell they are. I borrowed a few of your gems to pay for it. Hope you don't mind. Oh, I see we have a guest.
"Yessss," the sphinx hissed. "This foolish pony thief failed to correctly solve my riddle and was turned to stone. Learn from her mistake."
>Wait, I think I know her. They write books about her up north. Uhhhm... Dipping Dots. No. Uhh, Ditzi Do! Dazzle Do? Something like that.
"Her name is not important. She will never use it again. While she is stone I plan to drop her into the bubbling slime. She will sink low. When she returns to flesh and blood she will know true dispair as she struggles helplessly... to... to... why are you removing your garments?!"
>There is a nice hole back here. Looks just the right size. And her tail is flicked to the side out of the way. Lucky that. I can't pass this up. You can watch if you want to.
"YOU... I... how can any creature in this world be so focused on sex?! You're molesting a statue!"
>I've had practice. The last couple of times with you. Oh yeah.
"Stop that! I command you! I will not tolerate this!" In spite of the sphinx's demands and threats, Anon continued to conclusion. As he sat down to catch his breath, the statue began to magically glow. "What is this? You disrupted my curse! How? This did not happen to me!"
>Beats me. Maybe ponies are different. Maybe it's like a prince kissing an enchanted princess. Only I didn't use my lips.
In another moment Daring Do was back to normal, looking around confused. "What happened?"
The sphinx lowered her huge head down directly in front of the adventurer. "You have been violated by the most disgusting creature in the universe. That is your punishment. Now leave! Flee from here!" Daring didn't need to be told twice. She quickly retreated toward the exit. "And now you!"
>I'll be glad to, but you have to give me a moment to recover. Tell you what, why don't we have some falafels and you can ask me a riddle or two and by then I'll be set.
"What? No! No riddles! No challenge! You will not trick me again!"
>Oh come on Kitty. I'll ask you one. I win, we get to snu-snu some more.
"Very well," the sphinx replied as she glared daggers at him. "And when I win you will turn to stone. And I shall break off your manhood. When you return to normal you will be a eunuch and I will take great delight in your agony. Deal?"
>If you want a dildo there are easier ways. I know this naughty dragon that specializes in them. But for your size it will have to be a custom job.
"Do we have a deal?!"
>Yes yes. Your are so tense today. Let me think. Knock knock.
"THAT'S NOT A RIDDLE!"
>Okay. I know. Why did the bear cross the road?
"Oh you fool," answered the sphinx with a smug grin. "Trying something so simple on me. To get to the other side."
>Nope. Wrong.
"What do you mean wrong? That's the answer! To get to the other side is always the answer!"
>The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. I said bear.
"So? Why did the bear cross the road?"
>He was glued to the chicken. Don't look so mad. Where I come from even little kids know that. It's not my fault you are terrible at riddles.
"I am a master of riddles!" the furious sphinx screamed.
>Then why are your paws already stone? Again.
"NO!" the sphinx yelled as she fought her own curse to no avail. "NOOO! Not again! The riddle is nonsense! You have cheated!"
>Cheating? No. Gaming the system, maybe. Anyway, you're stuck with it. Speaking of sticking, which end would you like?
"Not this time, perverse monster. You may have tricked me but I will not allow you any prize for your victory." The sphinx sat down just before her flank transformed. She also turned her head, covering her face with a wing.
>Oh come on baby. Don't be like that. You know you enjoy it too.
The sphinx only made a humph sound, but otherwise did not move. In a few seconds she would be completely turned to stone with all vulnerable holes covered.
>Okay fine. Be that way. You win. I'll just sit down and have lunch. You know, I never noticed this before, but from this angle it's so obvious. You have the fattest ass in all of Equestria.
"I DO NOT!" the sphinx yelled, or tried to. At that moment she was frozen in mid-scream, her head lowered, her mouth open.
>That's my girl. Mouth it is then. I knew you enjoyed the taste from last time. By the way, if you hadn't moved I would have been forced to spooge in your ear. This is better for both of us. Oh and I don't think that Darling Do pony actually left. While you are stuck for a week, she's probably going to steal some of your stuff. You know, if I give her enough treasure, I wonder if she could find us a good pizza chef.
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