Momlestia Archive Part 3
 
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>"Alright, who we-, Engi-nonymous, who do we have on the line, sweetheart?"
>[incoherent charlie brown tier wah wah'ing]
>"Haha, alright, 213, you're on True Celestial Radio."
>'T-THOU HATH A LARGE POSTERIOR!'
>"...Oh you goddamn-.."
>"Let me make something VERY clear to you all right now. I AM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP! AND I DO NOT HAVE A LARGE POSTERIOR!"
>[SCROLLS.WAV]
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It's like you don't even want to fuck your horse-mom while she gently strokes your hair and quietly reassures you that she'll love you forever, no matter what.
 
>Feeling her legs wrapped around your waist as you thrust
>Burying your face in her chest fluff and taking in her scent as you pant from the exertion
>Feeling her hooves stroke your hair and her muzzle tickling your cheek as she whispers sweet nothings into your ear
>Fucking her with the force of a thousand suns, yet feeling safe and protected in her warm embrace like you used to when you were a kid.
 
>"S-Such a good boy for M-Mommy~"
 
>"Yes, my sunshine and I are very active throughout the day."
>"He's a growing boy and it's com-..I'm sorry, what?"
>"Oh. OHHHH, 'my sun', yes, and...how I do the thing-..making it rise, heh."
 
>Celestia always talks about her son, Anon
>"He's so full of energy. Sometimes I have a hard time getting him out of... er, INTO bed!"
>Always slipping up and accidentally making innuendos
>Some ponies suspect, but dare not accuse the Princess of the Sun of anything without actual proof
 
>Anonymous leads his mother through the halls of the palace at a leisurely pace
>Bridle, saddle, blinders and all
>She smiles warmly, nodding and offering a cheerful 'good morning' to stunned denizens
>"T-think nothing of the scene before you, my subjects. My son is merely sharing a tradition from his home planet."
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>It seems like having nights of restful sleep isn't a thing for your family. Luna sleeps most of the day, and passes the night watching over the others' slumber. Your mother of course does the opposite, but while she usually sleeps like a log, she happens to be a sleepwalker, and you guess walking around the castle like a ghost isn't that much restful.
>And finally you. Well, you basically can't sleep more than a few hours.
>Insomnia is boring, that's for sure. You're just lying on your bed, watching the rather uninteresting ceiling. Not that there's anything else more entertaining to look at, and being in the middle of the night doesn't help, what with everything being shrouded in darkness and barely visible.
>The entire castle is so silent you can practically hear your own thoughts. And right now they're saying you really need to ask your aunt, and see if she can zap you with a sleep spell or something.
>The first distraction of the night comes in the form of hoofsteps echoing from the hallway. They're slow but steady, and apparently coming closer. Since you've nothing better to do, you decide to try and guess who it may be.
>The sound they make is rather high pitched, metallic, like the one you would expect from a pony who's wearing horseshoes. So that leaves out maids, and pretty much all the castle staff besides guards.
>The rhythm though tells you something else. You would expect guards on patrol to have a quicker pace, and also make a louder sound, what with wearing armor, bringing spears and everything. The telltale clinking sound caused by their armor is also absent.
>Moreover, these hoofsteps have a more delicate sound, as though they are barely touching the ground, that pretty much leaves out everyone but two ponies in all of Equestria.
>And since one of them happened to be in her working hours, so to speak, the only one left is your mother. More than likely she's sleepwalking again, and headed who knows where.
>One of her favorite stops is probably the kitchen, if the cake vanishings the cooks keep complaining about are anything to go by.
>You can't help but smile at the thought.
>The hoofsteps keep coming closer, and when you guess she's about at your door's level, they stop. You turn on your side and look at the door, with a hint of curiosity. Could it really be her?
>All your remaining doubts are discarded the moment a golden aura pops into existence and wraps itself around your door's handle, casting a faint glow throughout the room. It fumbles with it for a moment, almost vanishing in the process, but it manages to turn it anyway.
>The door cracks open, pushed forward by the same magic, and a few strands of a familiar floating mane come briefly into view, peeking inside from the small opening, as though they were curious to find what was inside.
>Your mother's head comes into view shortly after, further pushing the door open with her muzzle. Her eyes are closed and, yep, that on her mouth is definitely frosting.
>Guess the cooks were right after all...
>You can't help but let out a chuckle as Celestia enters the room, surprisingly without swaying or hitting anything, and pushes the door close with a rear leg.
>"A..Anon? Sweetie? M..mommy's come to check if you..'re alright.." she mumbles, barely keeping her head up.
>What? She used to do that when you were little. Is she dreaming about it? Is this a thing sleepwalkers do?
>You decide to play along.
"Yes, mm-mommy, I'm..aaah... fine"
>You reply, faking a yawn.
>In the meantime, Celestia has found her way to your bedside, probably guided by her instinct, or perhaps the sound of your voice.
>"A-Anon, sweetie, y-your voice! Did you catch a cold?"
>Damn, mom. You can't be fooled, not even while you're sleeping. You resist the urge to tell her that you're 25, and your high-pitched, crystalline voice is long since gone, and instead try to fake the voice of a kid as best as you can.
"No, mommy, I'm fine"
>You repeat, stifling a giggle.
>That doesn't seem to convince her, because she gets even closer and starts to nuzzle your cheeks, probably to check your temperature.
>Having her soft nose rubbing on your face would feel nice, if it weren't for the fact that she's spreading frosting all over you, and the pillow as well.
"Ew, mom"
>Though as some of it is smeared near your mouth, you lick it out of curiosity.
"Mmh, blueberry."
>Even when sleep-eating, Celestia has good taste.
>Not seeming convinced yet, she magically lifts the blankets and hops on the bed, snuggling beside you and tucking the both of you in.
>Two sets of legs wrap themselves around your body as she lets out a contented sigh and keeps nuzzling you.
>"Mind if I stay..here for a while, sweetie?"
>This time you can't help but chuckle. You wrap your arms around her withers and get cozy. It's like huggging a life-size plushie, but she's also so warm that the blankets might as well not be there and you wouldn't notice.
>Perhaps it's because she's extended her wings and wrapped you in a feathery cocoon as well.
"Not at all, mom." - You say with a yawn - "You can stay as long as you want"
>As sleep almost immediately overcomes you, you can't help but think that curing your insomnia was way easier than you anticipated.
*Deleted scene*
>You don't dare opening your eyes until Anon is snoring, even though the darkness could have concealed them.
>As soon as you've made sure he's fast asleep, you let out the giggle you were holding ever since you entered the bedroom.
>You mentally pat yourself on the shoulder for your brilliant plan, perfectly carried out as well.
>Take this, Anonymous. This is for you acting all grown-up and not wanting to hug your mom.
>Sleepwalking? Please. You haven't ruled a kingdom for two thousand years by wandering in your sleep and stealing cakes.
>No, those were rightfully yours.
>Snuggling closer to him, you lick some frosting off from the corners of your mouth, then plant a kiss on his cheek.
"Sleep tight sweetie."
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>Anon's Auntie Moon is the equivalent of that one ex-con uncle you have
>"Happy meal? BAH! WE SHALL PREPARE A FEAST FIT FOR A KING, YOUNG NEPHEW!"
>She nukes some leftover pizza, puts a mcdonalds bbq sauce packet on it and opens a warm dr. shasta
>"Bon apetit! Also, that has to last you the whole visit."
 
>Anon, adoptive son of Celestia, meets with Nightmare Moon upon her return
>She probably kidnaps him b/c he's a unique creature and "a trained animal such as yourself should be worth quite the ransom for my sister."
>Spends a couple of hours with her before the Elements of Harmony show up
>Chats with her; she learns that he's her nephew
>She feels some kind of familial bond with him, to her chagrin
>The Elements of Harmony show up and hit her with the rainbow beam
>....and nothing happens
>She's no longer a cartoonishly evil villain hell-bent on eternal night and the destruction of pony-kind
>Her connection with her nephew Anon has made her feel invested in Equestria and (reluctantly) her sister
>Nightmare Moon takes up her seat as Princess of the Night with Anon acting as her morality pet
 
>"You're doing this both for Anonymous's sake and for the good of Equestria, Luna."
>'YEECH, THE 'GOOD' OF EQUESTRIA CAN FORNICATE THYSELVES WITH A FLAMING, SPIKED CLUB, SISTER.'
>Anonymous shakes his head and holds up the 'Bad Auntie Jar'
>"YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF US, NEPHEW."
 
>"THOU CANNOT STOP US FROM SENDING THIS... THIS 'BLUEBLOOD' PRETENDER TO THE DUNGEONS!"
>Anon walks up and pulls her into a hug
>"NO."
>Anon begins to stroke her mane
>"NO. IT WILL NOT WORK THIS TIME, NEPHEW."
>Anon sniffles loudly and obviously-fakely
>"DAMNATIONS, FINE. THE CUR IS FREE TO GO."
 
>"Anonymous, sweetie, let your Aunt kill just ONE pony, ok?"
 
>Anon holds up the 'Bad Mommy Jar'
>Celestia stares at the jar.
>"Ffffffffuck."
 
>Celestia and Luna are pretty sick of their ponies' shit
>If Luna hadn't gone Nightmare Moon, Celestia would have done the same in a couple hundred years
>They aren't evil, but they're like a parent with a retarded child who has been taking care of it for hundreds and hundreds of years
 
>Anon is George Dubya-tier retarded
>"Mama, why all them mean ponies sayin' I'm 'adapted'?"
>"I didn't evolutionize from no gotdang monkey! Lord Jesus christ sent me from Heaven to the stork an he brought me to you, right mama?"
>His mother and aunt treat his condition with genuine kindness, believing him to 'too pure' for this world
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>What if your mom orbits my tits
>Twilight doesn't know what gets her panties wetter:
>The thought of her mother suckling on Her Royal Highness' supple bosom
>Or the thought of the possibility of Celestia becoming her second mother
 
>"Ugh, I had that awful dream again, sunshine."
>'The one where the cake eats you, or the one where for some reason you're all humans and Twilight calls you 'mom'?'
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>"..'Y-YES, SWEETIE, HARDER!' She demanded
>"'Ahhh, f-fuck, mom, haa!~"'
>"'The speech and ceremony could wait. The Sun Princess would not be pulled away fro-"
>'Whatcha' doin, mom?'
>"N-NOTHING!"
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>"You're MEAN!"
>'HOLD THY TONGUE, WHELP!'
>"YOU'RE a whelp!"
>"THE INSOLENCE!..SISTER! WILLST THOU ALLOW THIS MONGREL TO BACK SASS ME SO?"
>"Luna, he's 5 and for the record, you did eat all his candy."
>"ROYAL PRIVILEGE EXTENDS TO IMMINENT DOMAIN OVER ALL CANDY WITHIN OUT DOMICILE."
>'MEAN POOPFACE HORSE, PBTTT!'
>"Why you-...PBBBBBT!!!"
>Mom just shakes her head "Luna Selene.."
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>"Ooh, up before noon for a change, hmm?
>'Nnnggggh...'
>"There, there, sweetheart. Here, why don't you let mommy carry you down for breakfast?"
>You don't protest as she magics your barely awake self to her back where you promptly fall forward, leaning into her ethereal mane
>"Mommy's special boy had a late night?"
>'..s-stupid black market points on...battleduty, call of black cops..'
>"Well, you keep at it, sunshine, mommy knows you'll get the iron jim or path of sorrows sooner than later."
>"Mommy's so proud she has a boy who sets realistic goals and works towards them, mmmwah~"
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>Anon growing up with NMM and she turns him evil to celestia's misfortune.
 
>You tried so hard to keep him on the right track.
>You couldn't very well banish Luna when she turned to NMM because then Anon would have hated you for taking away his aunt forever.
>And he was only five he wouldn't understand, he was too young.
>But when he was fifteen and could understand, it was already too late.
>Nightmare moon had already laid the seeds of evil, you had just sadly not noticed.
>Anon ran away when you banished her.
>You had to banish her, she was getting out of control.
>But he just didn't understand.
>20 years later he returned.
>He raised a plan to overthrow you.
>It failed.
>But he wouldn't quit.
>He started to hurt your subjects in the crossfire.
>You knew what you had to do.
>When you captured him for the last time, you turned him to stone like Discord.
>He just smiled and accepted his fate.
>All you had to do was wait till you could get Luna back and you could unfreeze him.
>She could explain to him what she said was lies.
 
>981 years later.
>Luna's been back for a year now.
>You had to be sure she wasn't going to return to NMM before showing her Anon.
>Whenever she would ask about it you would avoid the question.
>But now you're leading her to the secret area of your room you keep his statue.
>You didn't place him in the gardens because you didn't want your subjects to know what you were doing.
>You didn't want them to think bad of you for keeping your son like this.
>You made sure he was wiped from history.
>For all Equestria knew, you had no son.
>You open up the secret door to Anon.
>Luna gasps.
>"Tia, is that-"
"Yes Luna, this is Anon."
>She walks up and places a hoof on him.
>"Why have you turned him to stone?" She ask.
"When you were banished, he couldn't take it. I don't know what Nightmare told him. But he believed it."
>You say stepping beside her.
"But now you're back! We can be a family again. You can tell him it was lies all i have to do is-"
>You cast the spell to release him.
>But nothing happens.
>"Tia? What's wrong?"
>You cast it again.
>Nothing.
>You repeat it over and over again.
>Still, nothing.
>"Tia?"
"I-I can't unfreeze him..."
>You say tears welling in your eyes.
>Luna wraps a hoof around you pulling you into a hug.
>"Don't worry tia, maybe we just have to wait 1000 year's like me. "She says hugging you. "Just 20 more years sister."
>You wipe your tears away and nod.
"Y-Yes maybe that's it. Come on Luna, let's let him be."
>You say motioning for her to follow you.
>"Yes, I'll be right with you, i just want to look at Anon for a bit m-more." She says with a sniffle.
>She must be a bit emotional seeing him like this.
>You know you were for the first 500 years.
"Okay, take your time Luna."
>With that you leave her.
 
>Be Luna.
>Anon's not coming back.
>He's not immortal like you and your sister or Discord.
>You know because you feel nothing within him.
>No life what's so ever.
>It's your falt for him being like this.
>If you hadn't told him all those awful lies about Tia, he wouldn't have been evil.
>Tia wouldn't have froze him and she would have atleast enjoyed her time with him.
>But she didn't...
>Tear drops fall on the cold floor.
>Your poor nephew.
>He didn't even get to enjoy his life.
>You lay in front of him and begin to cry.
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>Nobles and leaders from the world over urge you to put the statue out for exhibit as a display of dominance
>He was still your son
>Could you accept that ponies would come daily to hurl words and things at his smiling figure?
>You had no choice when parliament not-so politely informed you they would enact a veto if you chose not to agree
>Luna's reaction was somewhere between rage and mortification
 
>Be Anon.
>You're aware of you surroundings.
>You can still feel, see, hear, smell and everything.
>You still love your mom.
>You understand now you were wrong.
>But even after all you did, she still loves you.
>You're happy you get to see her everyday.
>But today is different.
>Today mom is sad... She's crying...
>"Hello son... Somepony's are gonna be coming to move you from here soon... I just wanted to tell you will i can one last time... I love you my sweet baby boy." With that she leaves.
>What does she mean?
>Were are they moving you?
>Why are they moving you?
>You're happy here!
 
>A few years later Anon is in the canterlot garden's.
>Covered in spray paint and stains.
>Moss has even started to grow on his shoulders.
>Celestia can do nothing to stop it.
>No matter how many times she cleans him they always mess with him.
>She can no longer clean him because the nobles and leaders say "It's making you look bad for treating the beast like that yourself."
>They told you to have the maid's deal with him.
>But even they don't respect him...
>You've tried your best to get him back to the safety of your room or at least somewhere you can take care of him and not have to worry about someone see you.
>They just won't let you though...
>Why won't they just let you take care of your baby boy...
 
>Be Anon.
>You're lonely...
>The only thing that comes to see you anymore are judgmental ponies...
>You don't blame them. You were terrible.
>But you've changed!
>If you were free you could show them that!
>You've tried so hard for so long but you just can't brake the spell.
>Here comes another pony...
>Probably going to ridicule you...
>It's a purple unicorn.
>She walks up and looks up at you.
>After looking at you she looks down at the stone they placed you on when you were moved here.
>"Here stands Anonymous. The terrible prince..." She raises a eyebrow.
>Afterwards she starts to look around to see if anyone is around.
>Oh great, more spray paint...
>Her horn lights up, and you get ready.
>To you're surprise the stone below you lights up.
>"There. Anonymous the misguided prince. A loved but misguided son." She smiles up at you.
>Did... Did she just help you a bit?
>"If you can hear me. Celestia says she's sorry she hasn't been able to visit you and that she still loves you." She says as a spell is casted on you cleaning up all the stains and moss. "I'm sorry you were stuck out here and ponies treat you badly... I really hope that we can talk one day... " She says lowering her head.
>'Miss Sparkle. The gardens are closing you must leave.' A guard says to your right.
>"Oh, alright I'll be right out." She says waving him off.
>"Goodbye Anonymous." She says before placing a picture of mom facing you and infusing it to the stone but angling it were only you can see it.
>After that she leaves.
>...
>You really like that pony...
>And you still love your mom too...
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>"Y-you're Highness!" The guards cry out a you approach the throne room
>At the moment they're frantically trying to barricade the doors
>"Prince Anonymous, your mother has fallen to wicked impulses! S-she is not he- cc-...khaaau...a-aackk..."
>You unclench your right fist from within your robe as the other guards look on in horror
>'..I know.'
 
>"Dispose of the trade federation, my son. We've no use for them any longer."
>'Thy bidding will be done, my master.'
>"All will be as it should and WE shall rule the gala-..fucking hell, I forgot to get napkins for the victory party."
>"Anonymous, sweetheart? Be mommy's big boy sith lord and pick up some napkins and paper plates on the way back, would you?"
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>Be Anon, learning shit in class.
>Like litterally learning nothing at all.
>You wish Mr. Doodle would actually try to teach kids something.
>That would be way better than-
>"Will Anonymous please report to the Vice Principal's office. Anonymous to the Vice Principal's office. Thank you."
>Shit.
>If Aunt Luna is calling for you then you know it's important or that you fucked up.
>And you dint think you fucked up today... did you?
>You gather your things and leave the classroom as some kids start going 'ooooh' because they think you're in trouble.
>They might be right.
>You get to her office and see Mrs. Raven, your aunt and mother's secretary.
>She looks up to see it's you.
>"You can go in Anon, they're expecting you."
>They? Well fuck.
"Thanks."
>"So what you do this time?"
"Hell if I know."
>You walk in through her sure and close it behind you, and turn around to see your mom and aunt in their underwear.
>WHAT THE FUCK!?
>"Ah Anon, there you are."
"What the fuck is going on here?"
>"Language while you are at school Anonymous. And to answer your question, your mother and I have been engaged in a heated debate as to which of us is the more attractive."
"So... why am I here?"
>"To be the judge of course. We need you to be the deciding vote."
>Your mom says smiling at you.
>You don't know how to react, but you find your eyes wandering across their bodies.
>You notice a bit of bush poking out of your aunt's panties, and without even knowing why you look to your mom to compare and don't see anything.
>So your mom shaves... did not think you works discover that when you got up this morning.
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AfterHours
 
“Anon? Sunshine are you in here?”
>You call into his room, but receive no response.
>You poke your head through the doorway to see if he’s inside as well, but find that he is out.
>You’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed.
>He’s probably in the library studying, like he has been for the last few days.
>On one hoof, you are proud that he is taking his title as prince seriously.
>But on the other hoof, you’ve missed him so much you just want to spend as much time with him as possible.
>You have an unexpected break in day court and wanted to spend it with him while listening to music.
>Ever since that first night he came back and played his music for you, it’s quickly become one of your favorite things to do.
>You only had a limited time till your next appointment, not enough to go looking for him.
>But it was more than enough for a few songs.
“He did say I could listen to them anytime I wanted.”
>His ‘Lap-Top’ sits open on one of his tables.
>You smile and start walking towards it.
>He showed you how to use this thing before and where the music was located.
>Now you just need to remember what he told you to do.
>Let’s see, move the ‘mouse’ around… and was something about clicking, was it one or two of them?
>Using your magic you mimic what you saw him do previously and move the arrow on the screen to its destination.
>There are so many buttons and things on this, if you didn’t have magic you don’t think it would be functional for you to use at all.
>You’ll get the hang of this eventually.
“Now he said it was inside a folder. But which one was it?”
>You start clicking folders and attempting to find your prize.
>What’s that one say?
>’Not Porn’?
>Well, music does fall under that category.
>You’re about to click the folder when you see another one that says ‘Music.’
>So there it us.
>You then see a small image near the Music folder that gets your attention.
>You instead click it and a larger version of it opens.
>It’s a human female.
>You stare at the image and mentally compare her to Anon.
>They are almost like night and day compared to one another.
>You wonder who she was to Anon and why her picture is on his ‘Lap-Top.’
>An interesting idea comes into your head, but you’ll need Luna and Anon first.
 
-Anon-
>You’re sitting in the library, reading up on Equestria history.
>Not exactly page turning stuff, but you need to know about this stuff since you’re the prince and all.
>Sitting next to you on the back of a chair is Philomena, your mother’s phoenix.
>After she found out you were back, she practically refused to leave your side almost as much as your mother and Aunt Luna did.
>You groan and rub your eyes with your hands.
“Ugh, this is so boring. Are all the history books going to be like this?”
>You sarcastically ask the fiery bird next to you.
>She responds by lifting up a wing and starts preening herself.
>Maybe you could ask Aunt Luna or your mother about this stuff first hand if they have the time.
>They probably remember most of it, and maybe they could tell it with a little more flare.
>You grab your phone from your pocket and check the clock.
>It’s just about dinner time.
>Just about time for a well-deserved break.
“Hey Philomena, how bout we take five and grab something to eat?”
>She turns her head to you and stretches herself the way birds do, letting out a little ‘caw’ noise, and flies onto your shoulder.
>You can’t help but grin in reaction.
>You’ll never get tired of that.
>A phoenix just flew onto your shoulder.
>Even if this was just a regular bird, it’s something you would never expect to have happened while on earth.
>You stand up, put on your headphones and hit the random button on your mp3 player.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE
>You start to tap the beat against your leg.
“I see a bad moon rising.”
>You start to sign along to no one in particular as you walk down the empty hallway.
“I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.”
>You start to sign a little louder when you find you are currently the only one in the halls.
“Don’t go ‘round tonight. Well, it’s bound to take your life. There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
>You continue to sign to yourself as you turn the corner and almost run into your aunt.
>She has a look of shock on her face like someone just slapped her.
>You pause the track and take the earphones off.
“Hi Aunt Luna.”
>You say with a wave.
>She still has that surprised look on her face.
“Everything okay?”
>”I was hoping to find you and thought you were in the library, but what were those things you were saying? Earthquakes, bad times, and that a life would be taken tonight? And because of my moon no less?”
>She says rather flustered.
>”My moon is no more good nor bad than any other night I raise it.”
>She looks at you as if she is desperately trying to convince you of this.
“Relax Auntie, it’s just a song.”
>She looks even more insulted and shocked than she was before.
>”Who would spread such lies as these in the form of lyrics?”
>She asks, clearly hurt.
“… Creedence Clearwater Revival.”
>”Well, I know not of this Creedence Clearwater or of his ‘Revival.’ But I can personally assure you that my moon is the same as any other night, and it is not malicious in the least.”
>You decide it best not to engage this further with her, no matter how much it seems like a fun idea to right now.
“Okay Aunt Luna, I believe you. You said something about looking for me. Is everything alright?”
>”Your mother would like to see you in your room as soon as you are available.”
>She says regaining her composure.
>Wonder what she wants to see you about?
“She say what it’s about at all?”
>”She said that she had something she wanted to speak to you about.”
>Well that’s weird, but you might as well go and see what’s up.
“Okay, I’ll head back there now then. See you at dinner?”
>”Of course, please let me know when your mother and you are ready and I will meet you in the dining hall.”
“Alright, love you and see you then.”
>You give her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before tuning and walking away.
>Once you are down the hall going back to your room and sure you are out of earshot you let out a chuckle and smile broadly.
“There’s a bad moon on the rise…”
>You see the door to your room slightly ajar and a light coming out from it.
>Your mother’s probably in there, hope she hasn’t been waiting long.
“Mom?”
>”I’m in here sunshine.”
>You push open the door a little further and walk in.
“Aunt Luna said you wanted to- HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!”
>You flail in surprise and end up falling backwards as Philomena flies off your shoulder.
>Before you is a beautiful half naked woman sitting on your bed.
>”Anon! Sweetheart, are you alright?”
>Your eyes go even wider than they were a second ago as you hear your mother’s voice come out of that body.
>This also shocks Philomena, who had landed between you and the previous mystery woman and spread her wings in a possible attempt to defend you.
“M…mom?”
>She stood up from the bed and ran over to you and bends down next to you, looking you over to see if you’re hurt.
>”I’m sorry to startle you honey. I just wanted to surprise you is all.”
“Surprise me?”
>”Yes. You see, I came in earlier today to listen to some music and I found a picture of a human female on your ‘Lap-Top’ and thought…”
>She seems to get embarrassed and stops talking.
“Thought what mom?”
>”I… I thought you might like to have a human mother… if even for a little while. If you don’t like it then I can have Luna reverse the spell right away.”
“Y-you did this for me?”
>You ask looking her new body over.
>She nods her head in response.
>You don’t know how complex a spell was used, but you do know that your mother changed everything about herself for you to try and make you happy.
“Thanks mom, but I love you. And you don’t ever need to be anything more than who you always were.”
>She smiles at your words.
>”Thank you sunshine.”
>She stands up and extends her hand out to you.
>You take it and she helps you up.
>It’s then that you see she is about a foot taller than you.
>She notices the height difference too and seems nervous.
>”Sorry, we weren’t sure how tall an adult human female should be in comparison. Looks like we guessed wrong.”
“N-no, it’s okay.”
>She is still smiling and her eyes have a caring expression in them.
>She leans down and hugs you in a deep embrace.
>Your face is pressed against her breasts and you eventually feel your arms raise up and wrap around her returning the hug.
>She then tries to nuzzle you with her head like she normally does when she’s a pony.
>So this is what it would have been like if she was a human.
>It feels… nice…
>Wait a minute….
>She said she say a picture of a woman on your computer?
>You slowly pull away from the embrace and slowly walk over to it so as not to arouse suspicion.
>You look at the random files and documents around your music folder and find what she must have seen.
>There is a picture of a woman with large breasts next to your other folders.
>You must have forgotten to move it over to your ‘Not Porn’ folder after you downloaded.
>Well at least she didn’t get into your porn, because that is a conversation you do not want to have.
>”Was she your mother on earth?”
“Huh? Oh no no no. She was just someone I saved a picture of from online.”
>She looks confused.
“I uh, saved the picture so I could try and use it as an art reference. I don’t really have any pictures of the people who took care of me. Let alone of my birth mother.”
>It feels weird to say that last part out loud.
“I mean, I don’t even know who she is.”
>She walks up to you and wraps her arms around you again.
>”I’m sorry.”
“What? Don’t be. If it weren’t for her and whatever happened twenty years ago then I would never have met you.”
>You return the hug and lower your head into her chest again.
“I’ve always thought of you as my real mother, and I always will. And that’s all I need.”
>You then let go of the hug and walk to your bed, pulling off the comforter.
“Here.”
>You say draping it over her.
“Humans get cold without clothing on. This should help you stay warm till Aunt Luna can change you back.”
>”Thank you. Truth be told I was getting a little chilly.”
“Well come on, let’s go find Aunt Luna. She said she wanted to eat with us anyway.”
 
-Celestia-
>You smile and walk out of Anon’s room and towards your sister’s room.
>You’ll have her turn you back for now, but you’ll need her to make you human again later as well.
>And you’ll also need either Twilight or Discord’s help.
>There is a certain person you need to meet.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"And then a half-witted overweight halfling carried this other one all the way to the peak of Mount Doom and cast the Ring into the fires, destroying your father's only way to assume physical form along with the rest of him. the end."
>Celestia wipes a tear from her eye with a wing.
>And you just sit there, dumbstruck.
>...
"This book sucks."
>"I agree wholeheartedly."
 
>You both nitpick about the story.
>Then the door swings open dramatically.
>"I'm home! And I brought souvenirs from the campaign!"
>This flanging voice, belongs to none other than Sauron.
>"What are you doing?" He grabs the hefty book. "Really? Are you really reading the amalgamation of an entire land's combined rage to our son? Har HAR HAR I am amused, wife!"
>Celestia smugly smiles.
>"I can't help but amuse myself to the fact you routed your enemy so thoroughly that they put to pen and paper an alternate reality."
"What did you bring, Dad? Is it a Dragon's skull? An enchanted blade? Mithril?"
>"Nay, child, I have brought you your favourite!"
>You smile behind the darkness of your hood. A toothy grin most feral.
>"You didn't..." Celestia sighs.
"Are they elven slaves?"
>"They are elven slaves."
>You pump your arm in celebration as Sauron orders his entourage to push them inside the room for your inspection.
>They are well-kept if a bit frazzled, perhaps from crying, untouched, young and shapely, petite and tall...
>Celestia is not amused.
>"More? You do know they are more mouths to feed..."
>"And? Unlike my son and I, these nature lovers eat like horses! Just give them lettuce or somethin', besides I have ruthlessly instilled upon their ravaged land the theology of Celestia, Goddess of the Sun! My gift to you."
>"I do like my attention." Celestia giggles.
>Your interest in the scene wavers.
"Can I take the Elves now?"
>"Go ahead, they are yours to do as you wish, Son. Just remember to take care of them with an iron fist, lest they bite the hand that feeds, and if you must kill, do so cleanly and do not make a mess."
=======================================================================================================================================
"Mommy?"
>"N-n-no, It's fine"
"Mom?"
>"Re-really, i understand, there's a lot of ponies that are more interesting than me"
"But this homework-"
>"And your aunty appreciates the times you have wtih here."
"Homework it's about-"
>"Even if she is 2 years younger than me and her flank was send to the moon for 1000 years"
"The teacher of astronomy said-"
>"I-I-i took care of her night for 1000 years, what does she has that i don't"
>Little sniffles come from your mother.
>This is getting out of control.
>"I'm your mother, honey"
>Says as a tear makes it's way down her face.
>Today is a "homework with the help of family is hard".
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Hello, and welcome back to Afternoon Tea with I, one half of your benevolent rulers, Princess Celestia."
>"A in Canterlot, you've the floor."
>'Hey mom, does Twilight know you're the one eating her lunches from the fridge in the lou-'
>"H-heheh, obviously a blaspheming prankster and nothing more. Moving right along."
>"Ah, C in Ponyville wants to share some gardening tips, how quaint."
>"Tell us, C, 'how doth your garden grow?'"
>'T-THOU HAST A LARGE POSTERIOR AND THOU LIKETH TO SMELL THINE OWN LARGE POSTE-'
>"YOU GODDAMN SCUMBAAAAGS!!"
>[CANS.WAV]
=======================================================================================================================================
>shit happens
>mom gets zapped back to her unruly junior princess self
>Anon is forced to be the parent
>"Haha, sun goes up, sun goes down, sun goes up, sun goes down!"
>'MOM, THAT'S NOT GOOD FOR THE -..WORLD, STOP.'
>"Ooh, Anonymous, sweetie, I want an ice cream cone!"
>'You JUST had a fucking 7 layer cake topped with donuts, mom.'
>"HMMMPH.."
>'No, don't-, don't you even, mom.'
>[holding of breath intensifies]
>'YOU ARE AN AGELESS DEITY WHO CONTROLS THE HEAVENS, MOM, ACT LIKE ONE.'
>[mmmmph]
>"Oh my god, fuck, FINE, let's go."
>'YAAAAAY! *mwah* I get to have some ice cream~ My sunshines gonna get me some iccce creammm~'
>"Alright, alright, let's go."
>'Carry me.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>mother thinks she can keep me from my tendies? I don't care if chickens are sentient here! We'll see who's the boss after I saddle break her!
 
>"Don't."
>"Anonymous, don't you do it."
>"Anonymous Celestial Skies if you Ree during this very important event."
>"Totally serious here, young man, you don't want the serious mommy stare."
>"Anonymous I'm going to count to 3 and if you aren't stepping away from those tendies and back in your seat."
>"1....."
>"2....."
>"....2 and a half.."
 
>"Don't make me say three."
Anon reaches for his tendie.
 
>"2 and 3 quaaaarter-..LUNA, STOP!"
>'MMmmph w-we are weak for the tendies, Sister.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never get a stuffed sun pillow from your /mom/ that she infused a bit of her sunlight magic into, so whenever you're scared of the dark, you can just give it a little squeeze and a bit of her light shines through.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon
>Life twist turned upside down, sent to horseland
>Tries to eke out a living hunting monsters
>Is hired to rid the land of a dragon and lamia
>Goes up to their cave full expecting to do the ol' one hitter quitter one & done
>"Who DARES tread upon the soil of Princess Celestidra-, OH MY HEAVENS!"
>Chh, that's right, quake with fear you overgrown HANDBAAAA-
>"AREN'T YOU THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE GREEN MONKEY EVER?~"
>'U-unhand me, beast! I, Anonymous The Green shall smite thee!'
>"Naughty naughty, that could really hurt someone, mister." She says daintily picking it out of his grip with her compact car size claws
>"Luna, Sister! We've a guest!"
>'N-no, you haven't! Have at thee!'
>Anonymous unsheathes a small dagger and tries to stab at her
>The enchanted crystal blade shatters on her dragonhide
>[big costanza dragon mom.png]
>"Thou mennnntioned we've cooommpany, Sssssister?"
>That doesn't sound good
 
>A womans head pokes out from a passage further into the cave
>H-HEH, OH FUCK, ANOTHER HUMAN
>"DRAGON! YOU DARE TAKE SUCH A MAIDEN FAIRE FROM HER LAND TO IMPRISON IN THIS HELLISH DIN?!"
>It slowly dawns on you no human woman should be that tall
>There's a good 15 - 20 ft between her chin and the cavern floor
>"..S-she's a maiden, right?"
>'Mmmmm closssssse enough, yes.'
>Now in full view in the caves dim light you see the snake body, arms and wings
>"GADS, W-WHERE IS YE OLDE CYANIDE TABLET"
=======================================================================================================================================
>You are Anon.
>Just finishing up a meeting with Twilight.
>You two have a good thing going, she asks you questions about earth and you give her answers.
>In exchange she charges your phone and laptop.
>True you don't have the Internet, but you do have a lot or porn on your laptop... a lot.
>"And that should just about cover it for tonight."
"Thanks Twi. I'm gonna head out then, see ya later."
>"Would you like to stay? Princess Celestia is gong to stop by."
"Maybe for a second, I need to head home and make myself dinner."
>As you finish talking, Twilight's castle doors open revealing the sun goddess.
>"Princess Celestia! You made it."
>"Of course Twilight. And Mr. Anonymous, it's good to see you again."
"Likewise Princess."
>You give a small bow out of respect.
>"Will you be joining us tonight?"
"Sorry, I have to get home and start dinner. It was good seing you though."
>You wave and walk away.
>"It is rather brisk outside, did you bring a jacket?"
"Huh? Oh no, I'll be fine on my way home."
>"The weather pegasus team sure are doing their jobs. I just don't want any of my subjects to catch a cold."
"Uh-huh, that's nice."
>You du walking further towards the door.
>"And especially since you don't have fur, it must be even worse for you."
>Okay this is getting annoying.
"Like I said, I'll live."
>"Can you promise you'll wear something warmer the next time you go out?"
"Yeah, alright 'Mom' don't worry about it."
>You say as the annoyance level reached its peak.
>You turn and see both Celestia and Twilight staring at you silently.
>Oh shit, you fucked up and went sarcastic with a fucking god.
"Oh, hey... I'm sorry, I didn't man to get testy or anything."
>They continue to quietly stare at you.
"I'm just... gonna go. It was nice seeing you again Princess."
>You leave and walk home, thinking about what to do to make up snapping at Celestia.yo
>She was only trying to help.
 
>Something something ponies take it literally and he is now her son.
>Something something magic makes it so that ponies can only speak literally something something Anon could never had said that Celestia was his mom unless it was true (except he's not affected by that magic)
 
>You are Celestia.
>You are a mom.
>A mother.
>A...
>A mommy.
>You've had a son this entire time, and you had no idea.
>Two and a half decades - a blink of the eye to you - you've had your precious little colt out there in the big scary world, all alone and fending for himself.
>You've missed out on so much of Anonymous's life!
>You're a horrible mother!
>You have so much time to make up for!
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Nephew? What are you doing up so late?"
 
>"OK just make it quick we don't want to wake up your mother."
>"You can do it inside I don't feel like cleaning up."
 
>Be Anon on the couch fucking Aunt Lulu's wonderful ass like a rabbit on speed while holding her birthing hips.
>Suddenly you hear a gasp.
>You turn your head and see mom
>"Anon what are doing?!"
"M-mom it's not what it looks like."
>"No you're doing it all wrong."
>wat.
"What do you mean?"
>"Whenever you're fucking a lady in the ass you have to play with her clit. Luna loves it."
"Wait, how do you know that?"
>"It's me, also I didn't tell you stop son keep going. But this time use the right hole.
>"I want grandkids~"
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never lose your virginity to Momlestia at summer camp.
 
>You, your mom and aunt are currently soaking in calomine baths
>"..'Live a little, sweetheart. Let's do it right here in the woods~'..."
>'I've apologized several times already, Anonymous. Ergh..can't talk without itching.'
>'INFERNAL WILDERNESS, POISON OAK BE DAMNED!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"You gonna make any friends this year, huh, cupcake?"
>'You gonna quit drinking and chainsmoking this year, mom?'
>"Eh I thought not."
>'Hey pick me up another cube of dr pepper on your way back from bingo.'
>"I'll pick you up a cube of you'll like whatever the hell I buy you, on the way back, deal?"
>'Love you too, mom. Good luck'
>"Goddamnit, Anonymous, it's bad luck to say that!"
>She knocks on all the doorways before leaving
=======================================================================================================================================
>tfw Momhorse is secretly disappointed in you but tries not to show it
 
Stop, it's enough I'm a disappointment to my real mother
 
>"Hey, honey?"
>Celestia cracks open the door to your room and pokes her head in, not bothering to walk inside.
>She has a tentative smile on her face.
"What is it, mom?"
>"Twilight Sparkle's coming over all the way from Ponyville. If you're interested, you could talk to her about what you're interested in and probably get some good book recommendations."
>You mull it over in your head for a few moments and then shrug.
"I don't know; maybe."
>Celestia slowly nods a couple of times in silence, not looking at you.
>Her smile is gone; she just looks tired, now.
>"Okay."
>Celestia pulls her head out through the gap and closes the door.
>That's the last time you see her today.
 
NO I RECOGNIZE THIS
 
CEASE
 
>You are Anon, and it's time for your morning coffee.
>You walk into the kitchens where you pass by your mother, who is busy reading the newspaper.
>"Morning, sunshine," she says, not looking up.
>You pour yourself a cup of coffee.
"Morning, mom. What're you up to today?"
>"Oh, not much."
>As usual, she doesn't ask you what you're doing today.
>She stopped doing that months ago.
>She already knows the answer.
 
Please stop, the love is there, but my mom has been acting like this since I have yet to get a better job
 
>Leave your room to get lunch
>Nod at Celestia and Luna
>Celestia doesn't even look up to see you
>Luna flashes you a smile that disappears as suddenly as it arrives
>Make your sandwich
>Take it back to your room
>Dead silence the entire time
 
I'm done for tonight. >>29396870 said please and it sounded really sincere.
 
The damage is done.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Ponies live for around 250 years; 300 if they're healthy
>Enter Anon, a man in his mid 20s
>All it takes is one question, "How old are you?", to set Momlestia in motion
>"For goodness sake, he's just a foal! What in the world would he do out there all on his own?"
 
what if they had lifespans equivalent to irl horses?
 
>mom thought anon was retarded as a baby because it took him so long to do basic things like walk and talk.
>anon was always held back in school, teachers are constantly getting banished from the realm for suggesting that anon attend the 'special' school.
>mom is filled with joy as she realizes that anon will probably live longer than her little ponies who die so quickly it seems she barely gets to know them.
 
>It's the one reason I could think of to have Celestia treat a grown man like a child
>Not her being convinced by his childish immaturity that there's no way he's an adult, despite his protest
>"What? I'm like, fuckin, 29, I'm a grown man!"
>'Oh? I don't think adults spend their days chasing around fillies and colts telling them "I HAVE LAYERS, DONKEH!"'
 
Is it wrong I did this to my nieces and nephew?
 
Maybe.
Context is desperately required
 
Okay then...
>Be me.
>Be Nightmare Ni- Halloween....
>Got this weird mask from my dad.
>It's a green mask with the skin tearing away.
>Kinda looks like demon shrek.
>My family *Only close ones like sisters and uncle.* would always come to my mom and dad's house to trick or treat around the neighborhood with their kids.
>For about 4 years i would stay at the house to scare little kids away and hand out candy.
>Anyway back to main story.
>My dad gave me a mask but i already had a mask.
>Decided to wait till my older sister gets to the house to test mask.
>She has three kids.
>2 girls 1boy.
>The girls are 8-9 and the boy is 6.
>They get there.
>Told my dad to call sis away from kids.
>Their dad is all that's left near them.
>He's chill so i know I'm safe.
>Go running at the kids torn up clothes and fake gashes all over my body with the demon shrek mask on.
>Kid run FlipShit.jpg.
>They dart away with me chasing behind them.
>Start yelling shrek quotes while chasing them.
"What are ya' dooin' in ma' swamp!"
>Kids run RunFasterBitch.wav.
>Eventually take the mask off hide it and start calling them to come back.
"Come on guy i chased away Shrek!"
>They're too stupid to notice the rest of the costume.
>After walking the kids back i see my dad and the kid's dad laughing like hell.
>"You know kids you're lucky the ogre didn't catch you." Their dad tells them.
>"Why's that?"
>"Because ogres are like onions."
>Quickly put on mask again.
>"What do you mean?" The son ask.
>Lean down next to him.
"I've got layers donkeh."
=======================================================================================================================================
Hey Mom, I got a girlfriend!
 
>"Nobody steals my baby anon!"
 
>"Your son also calls me mommy."
 
>"ANON IS MY BABY AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET SOME SUCCUBUS WHORE STEAL HIM FROM ME!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"You...y-you think you're better n' me? Huh?"
>"*hic* Think you're just gonna f-fuckin waltz on into my life an- and take my son, bitch?"
>"You'd *hic*- You-, You'd better get to steppin while I still let you, otherwise I'll use you to fertilize my spice garden."
 
Mom you got the wrong number.
 
>mom secretly drunk dials her son's GF And threatens them.
>GF's constantly break up with him
>Anon runs into Hus momma's embrace. >Consoling sex happens
>Anon takes his break up rage out on his mother.
>she doesn't mind
 
>"I R-REALLY, GAAAH~ FUCK! I-I REALLY L-LIIIIKED HER, MMOM!"
>'Yes, unf..l-let the anger flow through you and into mommy~'
>"W-what?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>loli luna
>Anon doesn't meet his aunt until after she got hit with Jimmy Swaggart's halleluja friendship beam
>she's a mini lil sister horse
>still carries pent up sexual frustration from having to get off with moon rocks for a gorillion years
>wants the family jewels from her nephew
>"M-mom, seriously, can you do something about this?" He says as he repeatedly zips his fly back up and has it done again by Luna's magic
>'Oh she's just playing.' Mom says sipping her coffee
>Luna winks at him across the table
>Next time he looks up she's taken a human loli form
>He feels a foot sneaking it's way up his pant leg
>"OK MOM, UH, FAMILY MEETING, TEAM HUDDLE."
>Luna makes a kissie face
 
>Luna finally gets Anon unable to move his arms
>Takes his pants off
>that'sapenis.gif
>Frustrations abound when she realizes that she's too tiny to mount him
>Settles for an entire night of oral sex
 
>too tiny to mount him irl
>but not in the realm of dreams
>"..N-nephew, thou realizeth thou can simply dream more coins and they shall appear for thy automated seapony ride, correct?"
>'Yeah, I know.'
 
>A tour group of ponies walks through the palace halls, snapping pictures and observing the decorum
>Anonymous bursts through an adjacent door, running for his life
>He grabs the tour guide by the collar
>"H-HEY, YOU'RE A PALACE STAFFER, Y-YOU GOTTA HELP ME, MAN!"
>His loli Aunt comes skipping after him
>'Nephew, why do you delay the inevitable?'
>She begins unbuttoning her schoolgirls blouse
>"HELP ME GODDAMNIT!" Anonymous yells at the stoic tour guide
>'..Remember when I asked for hazard pay, Your Highness? And your reply was, ah yes: "Get bent, Dilbert."?'
>"K-KISAMA!"
>Anon takes off running again
>All the neighponese tourists snap pictures
>Others look concerned
>'W-was that the Prince being chased by his Aunt?'
>The guide perks up
>"Yes, it was! Don't worry folk, she's of age, and he's in no real danger."
>"NOW! Who wants to hit the gift shop?"
=======================================================================================================================================
"You wanted to see me, Princess?"
>"Yes, thank you for meeting with me on such short notice."
"Is everything all right? You're acting a bit strange."
>"...I want you to allow me to use a spell on you."
"What kind of spell?"
>"It's a spell created by Starswirl the Bearded a long time ago. In his quest to defy mortality, he created a spell to revert his age."
>She sets an ancient tome on the table in front of you, despite your inability to read ancient pony text
>"He abandoned it when he realize that it would revert both his body and mind to childhood."
"Why do you want to turn me into a kid?"
>"I've heard of your troubled childhood, Anonymous. Regardless of how you may feel about how your birth mother raised you, I think we can both agree that your rearing left you unprepared to live in Equestria."
"Celestia, I'm an adult now. My childhood is behind me, I've moved on. I don't need a mulligan."
>"You deserve an opportunity at a happy childhood, Anonymous, with a loving mother and a happy family."
"I appreciate your concern Celly, but I think I'll pass."
>"I thought you might say that. This is a big decision, too big for you to brush it off immediately."
"Well I just di-"
>"Which is why I'm confining you to the castle for the next five days. If I can't convince you in that time, you're free to leave."
"What? You can't do that!"
>"I'm sorry Anon, but I truly feel this is for the best. These guards will escort you to your room, and I'll be with you shortly."
 
>"Anonymous! I heard you were going to be our guest for the next few days?"
"Yeah, whether I actually want to be here or not. Did you tell Celestia what I told you about my mom?"
>"You knew before we spoke that I share everything with my dear sister."
"Which is why I explicitly told you not to tell her."
>"I made her swear upon her honor that she wouldn't tell a soul."
"It's not other souls I was worried about, I specially didn't want her to know. Now she wants to be my mommy."
>"I heard of Celestia's gambit. You have no idea what this means to us, Anon."
"Well, I already told her-"
>"Me and Celestia are unable to have children of our own, but we've always longed to hear the clippity-clop of little hoo- er, feet I suppose, roaming these lonely halls."
>She stares lovingly into your eyes as she gently puts a hoof on your shoulder
>"If you agree to Celestia's arrangement, I promise to be best Aunt you could ever hope for. I'll love you, and spoil you, and cherish every moment we have together."
"Uh...W-well don't jump the gun there Luna, we've still got five days to go before I make my decision."
>"Oh yes, of course! Sorry it's just...well regardless of whatever choice you make, know that I'll still be your friend! Goodbye for now, Anonymous!"
"Yeah, see you later."
"...Celestia put her up to that, didn't she?"
=======================================================================================================================================
"Celestia, please. This has to stop."
>Celestia continues to push the vacuum cleaner back and forth over the same spot of carpet.
>She doesn't seem to realize that it isn't even on.
>"Whatever do you mean, sweetie? I'm just doing chores and tidying things up!"
"You need to stop breaking into my house."
>Celestia looks genuinely confused.
>" 'Your house', sunshine? Last I checked, I pay the bills. This is MY house."
>That isn't true.
>That's the opposite of the truth.
>You're a grown man; you have a job; you pay bills, you pay your taxes; taxes and bills which go to HER, as the ruling body of Equestria....
"Twilight and I are both worried about you, Celestia. We just want what's best for you."
>Celestia's eye twitches and her mane becomes slightly frazzled.
>"Well, Anonymous, did you ever consider that what's best for me might be to enjoy the pitter-patter of little hooves in the castle?"
>Oh, god.
"I'm not yo-"
>With a poof, the vacuum cleaner disappears and Celestia marches over to you.
>"I think that's quite enough, Anonymous!"
>Her horn glows as she frowns angrily at you.
>So this is how you die.
>"It's improper for a young colt to call his mother by her first name. I think you'll go without dessert for a week."
>What.
>"Now go do your room."
>Again with the as though she owns the place!
"But this is MY HOU-"
>POOF
>With a flash of golden light, you suddenly find yourself in a very nice looking bedroom.
>Your ears pop, giving you a hint that where you are must be a couple thousand feet higher up than where you were before.
>"Now you stay here and think about what you've done. I'm going to gather your sister, Twily, and then we can have a nice dinner together as a family."
>You later learn from Twilight that, according to historians (and her own personal experience), Celestia gets a little bit crazy every couple hundred years and does something strange and generally benign.
>"It's safer to go along with it," says Twilight, "Just wait it out."
 
>You sit on the edge of your bed and eye your dinner suspiciously.
>"Go on, Anon. It's safe; really."
>You barely spare a glance at Twilight... er, "Twily", your alleged sister, as she magically levitates a fork to and from her plate of food.
"You said the same thing about those belladonna leaves," you grumble, poking around your salad and separating the ingredients for investigation.
>Twilight sighs explosively and tosses her fork at you.
>"I said I was sorry! You said that you can eat things from the Nightshade family like potatoes and tomatoes..."
>You grin to yourself despite the situation; you still remember the horrified look on Twilight's face when you told her that you were eating some potatoes you had cooked up.
>"So how was I supposed to know that OTHER things from that family would be poisonous to you?!"
>You're about to retort when a loud banging comes from your closed door.
>"Anon? Twily?"
>It's Celestia's voice.
>"Are you two fighting in there?"
>Twilight pales under her violet fur and her ears immediately slap against her skull.
>"No! No, mom! A-Anon and I were just.... just...."
>She paws at the bedsheets in distress.
"We were talking about the unique diet that humans have."
>The door bursts open and Celestia (aka "mom") comes running in.
>"W-we never talked about that, sunshine!"
>She rips the salad from your grasp and starts digging through the contents with her hooves.
>"Can you eat everything in here?!"
>Twilight nervously shuffles away from you.
"Y-Yes, Ce-mom. It's... I can eat it all."
>Celestia sags in visible relief.
>"Oh, good," she huffs, "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."
>A new salad floats through a little flap in the door (where did THAT come from?), complete with a new fork; the old one lays dirty on the floor.
>Celestia spears a cluster of vegetables on the fork and levitates it over to you.
>"Now open wide for the choo choo train, sweetie!"
>Fuck your life and everything about it.
=======================================================================================================================================
AfterHours
 
>You are Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, raiser of the sun, and, most importantly, mother to Anonymous.
>You are sitting at the royal dining table with your son, patiently waiting for your sister to arrive so that you can have a family dinner together.
>Or as she likes to call it, breakfast.
>Looking over to your little ray of sunshine, you notice him drawing on some parchment with crayons.
>Even at his young age he has such control over his appendages.
>You can’t see exactly what he’s drawing, but you do see a fair amount of pinks and reds being used.
“What are you drawing sweetheart?”
>”Hearts.”
>He answers without looking up from his work.
“Oh really? Is that because tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves Day?”
>”Mm-hmm.”
>You wonder if he’s old enough to appreciate the holiday.
>Maybe he might celebrate with a very special somepony.
>You’re practically giddy with the thought of your little Anon with a marefirend.
>Strictly platonic of course.
>Maybe some hoof holding and a kiss on the cheek for now, but that’s it until he’s married!
“You know sunshine, Hearts and Hooves Day is about more than just heart drawings.”
>”Uh-huh, I get candy too.”
>He say with a grin.
>Oh you sweet innocent colt.
“Well yes, but it’s also about letting your very special somepony know how much they mean to you.”
>He stops drawing and looks up to you.
>”What’s a very special somepony mommy?”
>You let out just a little disappointed sigh.
>You suppose it was wishful thinking that he would have one at his age.
>He’s only eight years old after all.
“Do you remember seeing some fillies and colts walking closely side by side and smiling at each other in the market?”
>He nods in response.
“A very special somepony is a pony that means a very great deal to you. Somepony who makes you happy and can make you smile, even when all you want to do is frown or cry.”
>He looks at you, then looks back down to his drawing.
>”Like how you make me feel mommy?”
>You are taken a little aback by his question.
“…Yes, I suppose so…”
>”And what do you do with a very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day?”
>Oh my, maybe he does have one after all.
“Well sunshine, you normally would give them candy and a card, maybe even some flowers. That helps let them know how much you care about them. Do you have somepony like that honey?”
>He furrows his brow, purses his lips and gives a slight ‘hmmmm’ noise.
>He seems to be deep in thought.
>”What if…”
>He looks back to you with a little concern in his eyes, almost like he’s embarrassed to ask you whatever it is he’s thinking.
>”What if you don’t have a special somepony…”
>Oh no.
>Your poor son doesn’t have anypony like that.
>Now you feel bad for bringing it up.
“Sunshine…”
>”What if… you have more than one?”
>Oh… oh dear…
>While herding isn’t exactly ‘uncommon,’ it isn’t something that the royal family has indulged in for many, many years.
>Despite yourself, you can’t help but feel a sense of pride in your son.
“Well then, I think you should let each of them know how special they are to you in their own unique way. You should give them each a card you make and some candy or a flower.”
>”Mommy, I saw some ponies in the market kiss each other. Do you kiss your special somepony?”
>This is escalating quickly, better nip this in the bud.
“Yes- but only on the cheek!”
>You quickly tell him.
>No point in getting any other ideas in his head.
>He looks at you with as much determination that a child can muster.
>”Mommy, can I be excused?”
“But we haven’t even gotten our food yet.”
>”Mommy I need to go make some cards for tomorrow. If I don’t start now then I won’t have them done in time, please?”
>He says pleading.
>Just how many ponies does he have?
>You never could resist his puppy dog face.
“Alright, but I will have your meal sent to your room. I don’t want you going hungry.”
>”Okay!”
>He nods and stands up hugging you.
>”I love you mommy, I’ll see you later.”
>He starts to run out of the room.
“No running!”
>He immediately slows down.
>Luna walks in just as he reaches the door.
>”There is my favorite nephew. Did you decide to come search me out when I did not arrive on time?”
>She asks while leaning down for a hug.
>”Sorry auntie but I gotta go. I love you.”
>He hugs her and quickly walks out of the room.
>Once out of your line of sight, you hear him start running again.
>You’re unable to hide the smile on your face at his antics.
>”What was that about?”
>She asks taking her seat next to you.
“Oh nothing much, except he’s going to make some Hearts and Hooves cards for his very special someponies”
>She raises an eyebrow.
>”Someponies? As in plural?”
“Mm-hmm”
>You respond with a little hint of pride.
>”He has become quite the Casanova hasn’t he?”
“Do you not approve?”
>”Not at all. As long as they make him happy and don’t break his heart that is. Lest they wish their nights to be filled with nightmares till their dying day.”
>You love your sister.
 
>You are Raven.
>Personal secretary and assistant to Princess Celestia, and by extension the royal family.
>Which brings you to your current task.
>You are about to escort Prince Anonymous to his mother for a photo op.
>You don’t mind Prince Anonymous, not at all.
>He is always so well behaved and treats you with the same respect you give him.
>A welcome change from his spoiled brat little cousin Blue Blood, whenever you’re charged with assisting him.
>The thing you do mind however is that in addition to all your other tasks you need to complete, the title of foal sitter added to your resume.
>You arrive outside his door, looking at your clipboard and then to the position of the sun out the window.
>Right on time.
>You knock on the door to get his attention.
>Hopefully he didn’t fall back asleep.
“Prince Anonymous, It’s time for your photo op in the garden with your mother.”
>You hear paper rustling behind the closed door, but no other response.
“Prince Anonymous?”
>You knock again.
>”Coming.”
>The door opens shortly after and you notice the prince has something behind his back.
>You don’t spare it much thought though, it’s probably just some toy or something.
“Are you ready to go?”
>”Yes Miss Raven.”
>He responds, standing up at attention.
>He’s always had good manners.
>Yet again another thing that has him stand out from his cousin.
“Well then, let’s not dawdle any longer then, your highness.”
>You turn and begin leading the way for him.
>”Wait, Miss Raven.”
>You look back to him, slightly annoyed.
“Is something wrong Prince Anonymous? I thought you said you were ready.”
>”I am, but I want to give you this first.”
>He says holding out a card and a flower.
>You look at the card and see it’s hoof made, and then look at his face.
>Why does he want to give you a card?
“Did you want me to proof read this for you?”
>You ask raising an eyebrow.
>”No, no. It’s for you.”
>He says holding it out further for you.
>You tilt your head to the side before taking the card from him.
>It has many little hearts drawn on the front.
>You look from the front of the card to his face, trying to gauge what he must be thinking.
>It’s probably a card out of obligation that Princess Celestia told him to give you.
>You open it up and start to read it.
“Dear Miss Raven.”
>you do your best to hide a chuckle.
>He even writes the ‘Miss’ part.
“On this day I want to tell you how much you mean to me. You are so nice to me and you help me with so many things. You keep me organized and help me with homework. Thank you for always being there for me mommy and Auntie Luna. I can’t imagine being without you. Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.”
>Well, apart from some grammatical and spelling errors, it’s not bad for a child.
>You look back at him and see him smiling at you.
>It has to be an obligation card.
“Thank you for the card Prince Anonymous.”
>”This is for you too.”
>He says holding out a flower.
>Upon closer inspection, you see it’s a Wood Violet.
>”I hope you like it. I see you looking at them in the garden and smelling them whenever we’re out there, so I got you one.”
>He’s seen you do that?
>And more importantly he’s given you a flower from the Royal Garden.
>How many ponies would trade their Cutie Marks just to be able to say they have a flower from the Royal Garden?
“Thank you Prince Anonymous.”
>You say, trying to regain your composure.
>”You’re welcome.”
>He replies.
>”You’re always so nice to me, Mommy, and Auntie Luna that I wanted to give you something nice today. I hope you like it.”
“I do. I really do. Thank you, your highness.”
>You put the flower behind your other ear that doesn’t have a pencil behind it and place the card under your papers on the clip board.
>Looking at your clipboard, you suddenly remember your original task.
“Shall we get going then?”
>”Okay. Oh wait!”
>He moves close to you and before you realize it, he kisses your cheek.
>You are more than surprised by this turn of events.
>”We can go now.”
>He starts to lead the way now.
>You are left for a moment looking at him and wondering what just happened.
>You definitely didn’t expect this when you woke up in the morning.
>It’s probably nothing more than obligation, or maybe a simple crush.
>Looking at your clipboard, you flip up all the pages and look at the hoof drawn card and make sure it is secure.
>But maybe…
>Well, at the very least it would be nice to dream.
>If even for a little while.
 
=======================================================================================================================================
Raven romance when Anon gets older when?
 
>TEN YEARS LATER
>"Prince Anonymous-"
"Anon," you croak, squeezing Raven's hooves with your now-grownup hands, "It's 'Anon'."
>Raven nods, too choked up to speak properly.
>You can see drying (and fresh) tear tracks streaking down Raven's cheeks.
>"A-Anon... I... We can't."
"Say's who?"
>"I'm old, now."
>You let go of one of her hooves and stroke her cheek.
>You can barely see the wrinkles beginning to form crows feet around her eyes, and laugh lines around her muzzle.
>She nuzzles into it as you brush away some of her tears with your thumb.
"Not a day over forty."
>Raven lowers her eyes and smiles a self-deprecating smile.
>"It may as well be fifty. Sixty, even. You need somepony - somepony young - who can give you foals."
>You open your mouth to object, but she interrupts you with that stern, "I'm talking now"-look that you saw so many times when you were just a boy.
>"You need to carry on the Royal bloodline."
>You snort, releasing her other hoof and wrapping your arm around her back.
>She doesn't object as you pull her against your chest.
"Dash the bloodline," you whisper, "we can adopt if it comes to that."
>Raven grimaces and closes her eyes.
>"The nobles wouldn't like it."
>She sounds like she's trying her best to convince herself not to believe your words.
"The nobles don't like ANYthing," you snort, "And since when have I ever cared about what the nobles thought?"
>"They own a lot of businesses in Canterlot."
>You quirk an eyebrow.
"And I have a lot of investments in other countries."
>Raven leans forward and rests her head on your chest, burying her muzzle in your neck.
>"I'm not even one of the brides Princess Celestia selected for you..."
>You plant a kiss on top of her head.
>You rest your cheek on top of her head so that your mouth is right next to her ear.
>Close enough for you to whisper.
"You didn't need to be."
 
"Mom?"
>Celestia puts down her book and pops the last little piece of cake into her mouth.
>"Mnyess, 'ear?" mumbles Celestia around her mouthful of pastry, spraying you and Raven with crumbs
>You sneak a peek at your bride-to-be and notice that she's stock-still with a look of shock on her face; assistant or not, she's probably never seen your mother like this.
>With an audible gulp, Celestia swallows down her cake.
>She blushes with her eyes land on Raven, having probably not seen her until just now.
>"O-Oh, excuse me. What can I do for you, sweetheart?"
"You wanted me to get back to you about selecting a bride, right?"
>Your mother's face lights up and she clops her hooves together in delight.
>"Oh, honey! You've finally chosen somepony?"
"I have," you reply, gulping nervously.
>Celestia looks around you and peers at her closed door.
>"Well? Where IS she?"
>You take a half-step towards Raven and rest your hand on her back.
>You can feel her relax under your touch.
>Celestia notices the subtle gesture right away - she raised you, after all - and smiles cheerfully (if innocently) at her assistant.
>"Oh! Miss Raven, are you going to bring the lucky young mare in?"
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
>You are Raven, and you can't decide whether or not to feel terrified or furious.
>After Princess Celestia pieced together that Anon intended to court you, she had sternly ordered her son out of the room.
>After staring you down for a few minutes, the princess began grilling you on your motivations for marrying Pri-er, Anon.
>"You're too old. A pregnancy might not take."
>Celestia's tone was as chilly as her glare.
>You clear your dry throat and try to find your voice.
"Ah-Anon and I-"
>"PRINCE Anonymous" corrects Princess Celestia cooly.
>You instinctively open your mouth to correct yourself, but you stop at the last second.
>No, Anon is more than just a prince to you.
"ANON," you say forcefully, making Celestia's eyebrows raise in surprise, "and I can always adopt a foal who has lost his or her parents."
>Celestia says nothing for a long time.
>"You've helped raise him since he was young," she says accusingly, "Is that how you managed to ensnare his heart?"
>You have to stop yourself from taking a step back in surprise.
>How dare she!
"Absolutely not! I've seen him grow up and I was proud to watch him turn into a passionate, respectful young man!"
>You begin to pace back and forth in front of the princess, your anxiety forgotten and boldness gained as you work up a head of steam.
"If anything, helping to raise Anon allowed HIM to ensnare MY heart."
>You feel a weight lift off your shoulders as you finally admit that out loud.
>The princess tilts her head and observes you, seemingly unaffected by your answer.
>"You aren't even of noble blood. What could you possibly-"
>You never found out what Celestia wanted to you what you could "possibly" do.
>Before she could finish her sentence, you exploded at her.
"It doesn't matter what blood I have! I know Anon better than almost any other pony in Equestria and I can genuinely say that I l-love him just as much as YOU do! And if you can't accept that, then you can go.... can go...!"
>Your cheeks puff up as you struggle to think of what, exactly, Celestia can go do.
>Just as you're about to say something very rude to her, Celestia suddenly grins happily at you.
>Her glare drops and she rushes over to you, sweeping you up into a hug.
>"I'm so sorry, my little pony," she coos into your ear, rocking you back and forth like you were a foal, "But I had to make sure you really felt this way about my little prince."
>Celestia continues to apologize and mutter promises of making it up to you, and you just sit there in confusion.
>What just happened?
=======================================================================================================================================
>A human arrived in Equestria over a thousand years ago (before Luna was banished) and then disappeared mysteriously a few years later
>In that time, Celestia had adopted the human and treated him like her own son
>"Auntie" Luna spoiled him and loved him just as much as Celestia did
>The human child's sudden disappearance was very hard on both sisters; Celestia especially
>Years went by, and time took its toll on Celestia and Luna; they gradually began to forget small details from eons past, and any picture or tapestry with the human boy's image on it long since degraded and decomposed
>By the time the show takes place, all the two sisters remember is that they had a human child and that they loved him very much
>One day, Anon appears in Equestria, and Twilight sends a letter to Celestia and gives a rough description of Anon
>Memories are tickled and the royal sisters go to investigate
>He isn't the same human as the one who the royal sisters took care of way before, but Celestia and Luna don't know that
>They're both convinced that Anon is the little boy they raised
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh, there, there. It's not the end of the world, sweetheart."
>"You get a nice, high draft pick, you've got new coaching & management, buck up."
>"Let's enjoy your worlds eh..superb owl!"
>"..Anonymous, which team is the sillynannie's again?"
>'Nephew, we heard mention of penalties in this game, how severe are the aforementioned penalties?'
>Heh, women and sports
 
"S-So, uh... have either of you ever heard of the 'touchdown blowjob'?"
>"Nay, dearest nephew."
>>"Luna..." growls Celestia in a warning tone
>Luna, either ignorant or deliberately ignoring her sister, just smiles innocently at you.
>"But We are intrigued. Tell Us more of this Sunday Balls tradition."
 
>"Luna..." Your mom growls
>"He's obviously more interested in the ehh..7th inning streeetch~" She says raising her tail with her rear in the air
I kek'd at 'sunday balls tradition'.
I could see them trying to make everything sexual.
>"AH HA, TV TIME-OUT, TAKE OFF THE PANTS."
 
>Anon, Celestia, and Luna make up shit about football as an excuse to fuck
>"He caught the ball and then fell! That means it's time for the ball-drop ball-tickling!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia adopts Anon at some inconsequential age; could be 10, could be 20
>Has a huge incest fetish and finds excuses to fuck him whenever possible
>"C-Call me mommy when you cum inside!"
 
That kind of reminds me of the first /mom/ threads where Anon was reluctant to accept the mom love.
>"N-no, we're not really related, sweetheart, it's ok."
>'You JUST adopted me, and like, one second you're making chocolate chip pancakes, and next thing I know, your magic is undoing my belt.'
>Her eyes glisten and she blushes
>"Oh my, oh my skies, I get it. You're one of those old fashioned types, aren't you?"
>'Wha-'
>"My sweet, giving, boy. He wants to make sure his mommy's happy, too~"
>'UMMM.'
 
>"Naughty colt! Wh-What if you got mommy p-pregnant?"
>Celestia leans down and licks your sweaty neck.
>"Would we tell the foal who his real mommy and daddy were?"
>Anon later has a brief depressive spell when he realizes that he can't make babies with any of the native species in Equestria
=======================================================================================================================================
http://i.imgur.com/egYh4ou.png
How could anyone say "NO"?
 
>Celestia sits uncomfortably on her throne as you enter the huge room.
>You can see her fidgeting ever so slightly as you make your way towards her at a leisurely pace.
>"Good evening, A-anon. I apologize for summoning you on s-such a short notice"
>What's with the stuttering? She never does that.
"No problem, princess. It's not like I had much to do anyway"
>You stop in front of the huge golden throne, and notice she's seated sideways, with a pillow sustaining her lower tummy.
>She's got her rear leg resting in an odd position too, slided forward as though she was trying to hide what was behind it.
"So, why am I here?"
>You find Celestia slightly blushing as you ask her. She's probably realized you noticed whatever it is she's hiding down there.
>"Oh, yes!" - she continues - "I was going through some of the old letters my former student sent me, and I happened upon one talking about humans. She did some research when you arrived here, didn't she?"
"Indeed. Lots of embarassing questions too, but that's another story. Do you need clarification on something? I know human related stuff can be hard to understand for ponies at first."
>"Actually, yes. I have a question for you."
>The stuttering is gone, but she's still blushing hard, and keeps fidgeting in her seat.
>"I read here that humans can drink milk after they've been weaned, and keep doing it even after growing up"
>Celestia continues, bringing a parchment in front of her face, probably to cover her reddened cheeks.
>"Is it correct?"
"Yeah, we tend to do that. Milk is part of an adult's diet as well back where I'm from."
>The parchment is quickly levitated away, and Celestia locks her eyes with yours.
>"Do you like milk, Anonymous?
"Yeah sure, I.. oh"
>Your voice trails off as she finally shifts her rear leg, revealing a pair of swollen teats resting on the slightly damp pillow.
>"Would you mind d-drinking it?"
>She lowers her voice.
>"And c-calling me mommy while you do so?"
>...
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, sweetheart, what are you doing looking through that old photo album?"
>"-NOTHING!"
 
>"Oh, look at me!"
>Celestia - aka mom - caresses her picture-self's face while rubbing her own cheek with the palm of her hand.
>"I was so young. God, I'd nearly forgotten about the pink hair."
>Aunt Luna drops her head onto your shoulder and leans against you.
>>"I think I remember when we got this taken, Tia," says Luna, flipping through the photo album a few pages to see if there were any more related photos, "Wasn't this around my 350th birthday?"
>Celestia "mmm"s in the affirmative and starts digging in a nearby box for more photos.
>"That was right around the start of your goth phase, wa-"
>>"Tia," cries Luna, gripping your shoulders tightly, "Why would you say that in front of Anon!?"
>Celestia turns her head to hide her devious smile.
>"I don't know what you're talking about. Lulu," she purrs, fingering a newly-found dusty album, "Don't you want Anon to know about the time we had to burn your black leather pants-"
>Luna lurches forward and nearly knocks you over.
>>"No no no, hold your tongue!"
>"-because you wore them for three weeks straight and the smell wouldn't come out?"
>You successfully hold back your laughter, but the shaking of your shoulders clues aunt Luna in pretty well.
>She falls off of you and lays sprawled out on her back, groaning and covering her bright-red face with her hands.
>There's dead silence for about five seconds, and then-
>>"Your mother used to rub cake all over herself when she masturbated."
>Your gleefully snickering mother stops laughing and freezes in place.
>A flush creeps up the neckline of her shirt.
>The tense silence is held once more until-
>"There was a 50 year period of time where your aunt used to dye her pubic hair blue."
>Aunt Luna sits straight up and glares at Celestia.
>>"Your mother once pierced her nipples with copper studs, and it turned them green!"
>This goes on for at least an hour.
>You learn many things about Celestia and aunt Luna that you wish you never had.
 
>Anon then grabs a lawn chair alongside popcorn and a bottle of lotion.
>While mom and auntie revel dark and lewd secrets.
 
>You are Anon, and it's been nearly an hour of watching your mother and your aunt yell dark and lewd secrets back and forth like a bizarre and perverse game of tennis.
>"Why don't you tell your nephew about how you would NEVER leave the castle without your moon-themed vibrating buttplug!"
>>"Why don't YOU tell your son that you keep his old underwear in a ziplock bag and sniff them when you masturbate!"
>"Hey! Hey, Anon! Luna here used to sneak into people's dreams and have sex with them! Her bed always stunk of FISH!"
>>"Oh yeah? Nephew, the reason your mother breastfed you until you were 7 was because she was insecure about her bust size and didn't want them to shrink when she was no longer lactating!"
>Luna grabs her tits and jiggles them in your direction.
>>"I might have been the 'little sister', but I always had the fattest tits in the kingdom!"
>She jiggles them extra-hard and leans forward towards you.
>>"Aren't they magnificent?!"
>Face red from both anger and embarrassment, your mother marches over to you and plants herself right on your lap, straddling your legs.
>"Shut up, Luna! Anon thinks my breasts are best! The best!"
>She rips her shirt off and thrusts her chest forward, shoving your face in between her tits.
>"See? See?! He thinks they're amazing!"
 
>Be Anon all you wanted to do was to see what Mom and Aunt Lulu looked like when they're younger.
>Now you got Auntie's tits on your face bragging about how she got the best breasts in the kingdom.
>Also your mom's nips were green.
 
>The one-upmanship continues until they start arguing about who kisses the best (tested on Anon, since neither of them would ever admit that the other was a better kisser); who gives the best handjobs; who can take a cock deepest down their throat (again, Anon was brought in to help judge); who has the tightest pussy; who has the most fertile womb
>"See? You see?! My tits don't get as sore as YOURS do!"
>Celestia jiggles her naked, swollen breasts at her equally naked sister
>Flecks of milk spray from her dark nipples get on the bed the three of you now share
>"How're those 'fattest tits in the kingdom' doing for you now?!"
=======================================================================================================================================
"That's..."
>That's what?
>Creepy?
>Mentally unhealthy?
>Unbelievably uncomfortable?
"...sweet of you, Princess Celestia, but I'm an adult."
>She just smiles serenely at you and is otherwise silent.
>Her expression is one of indulgence, as though she were hearing out a small child's explanation as to why he felt he needed to eat dessert before his dinner.
"A grown-up."
>Same expression, only this time she seems amused.
"I... I don't NEED a mother. It's very generous, but..."
>How do you finish that sentence?
> 'thanks for offering to be my mommy for ever and ever but nah'?
>Celestia, seeing your confusion and hesitance, chuckles and stands up.
>As she approaches you, you instinctively take a few steps backwards.
>"Let's go home, precious."
>Oh, god.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Luna is your doting aunt who spoils you partially out of love and partially to get a rise out of her sister
>Gives you your "first" porn mag
>"first" being in quotes because you're 24 and have been looking at online porn since you were 14, but Auntie Luna doesn't need to know that.
 
>Aunt Luna notices that the magazines that she gave Anon have gone untouched
>She figured out that Anon doesn't use them when she discovered that none of the pages are stuck together
>Goes into Anon's dreams and gives his libito a kick-start to see what his mind comes up with
>Leaves minutes later feeling disgusted and aroused
 
>she can't stop thinking of that depravity
>she decides to act out Anon's desires in real life
>Anon is out one day, and she puts her hoof in his hand
>they leave to have sex in the missionary position for both procreation and recreation
>Celestia finds out when Luna has a baby bump
>She's happy that Anon started a family and joins in
>ywn have a long happy life with Momhorse, Aunthorse, and your many descendants
=======================================================================================================================================
>"OOPS I'm tied up and on your bed again, sweetie! Oh, sorry honey, but it looks like these locks are spelled so that they won't unlock unless I climax."
 
>mom likes to go all out in her escapades
>even hired a pizza guy to interrupt you a few times and leave after saying "Uh, I've got your large meat lovers...but..I guess you already got one."
>your aunt is considerably more direct in her requests
>she is more direct but no less creative than your mother
>"Oh no, ehh, nephew, um, a evil warlock...hast..uhh cursed us with insatiable lust for your seed..grrrr."
>she ho-hum's the last few lines as she lets her hair down and begins pleasing you orally
=======================================================================================================================================
>https://derpibooru.org/1319754
>"What the fuck?!"
>'Ohohohoh~~~ Hooogoooddd yeaa~~'
>"QUIT SCHLICKING ON MY BED, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!!"
>'A-anonymous, I-I uh, haha, I w-waited for the p-portal to open ffrom my side, an-..an haa~ oh..god.'
>"How long have you been in my house?"
>'W-what's today..'
>"Tuesday."
>'L-long enough.' She says, pulling some of your dirty laundry out of her panties
>"MOOOOM!"
 
>oppai headlight sparkle finds her way thru the portal
>"Hey, Anon! How longs it been since you seen some nice swinging' tits, huh?"
>'M-MOM, HELP! S-SHE FIGURED OUT MY KRYPTONITE!'
 
>Twilight weighs each tit with a hand, gently jiggling them with each heft.
"Fuck."
>She teases her nipples with a forefinger and thumb, moaning as they begin to harden both from the stimulation and the chilly castle air.
"FUCK."
>By the time Celestia arrives to save Anon, it is already too late.
>Anon is already motorboating Twilight's human breasts.
>A single tear of sorrow and loss goes down her cheek as she realises that he's too far gone.
=======================================================================================================================================
Alicorn breastmilk will do that to you.
>transforms you into the physically optimal human form, but become a complete momma's boy
 
So I get to become swole AND I get to suckle from an alicorn's teats? Fucking win-win.
 
Too bad her nipple placement is too low on her body for swole, suckling, and fucking all at once.
 
But it's the perfect height for when I want to thank Celestia very kindly for the meal.
 
>"Mmmm.... hungry, are we? It'll help you gro-oh. Oh, oh! Sweetie, no! Th-that's not a teat! L-little colts don't do that to their m-mommies!"
She loves playing up the incest aspect of it.
 
>alicorn ejaculate is found to be 10x more potent than breastmilk
 
>Anon does not leave Celestia alone
>Waking her up with cunnilingus
>Following her down the hallway with your face buried in her rump as she stumbles to her throne room
>Making day court difficult for her as she has to work around the repeating orgasms
>She finally locks you out of her room and sends you off in Luna's direction
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Hey."
>"I was thinking about you again, gorgeous."
>"I..I really want you to know how much you mean to me."
>"I just can't convey that, without objectifying you sometimes, a-and I'm sorry for that."
>"..I'll be perfect for you someday, my love."
>"That concludes page 1 of my mommy-son special feelings diary."
>"--Moving on!" Your mom gleefully chimes over the PA
>"Lunch will be:-..Oh, these are Anon's faaavorite~"
>"Fajita dippers with mashed potatoes, gravy, a roll, and choice of chocolate or regular milk."
>"Anon, sweetie, you make sure you get regular milk, you had chocolate this morning when you were taking a bath with mommy, remember?"
=======================================================================================================================================
AfterHours
 
I got more Hearts and Hooves for those interested.
 
>You are Princess Cadance.
>And today is your day.
>It’s Hearts and Hooves Day!
>Everywhere you look, you see couples walking close together, telling their very special soepony that they love them, or just looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
>They just can’t help themselves on Hearts and Hooves Day.
>Which, as the Princess of Love, you are completely fine with.
>In fact, you might do a few of those things with your very special somepony tonight.
>You’re practically giddy at the thought.
>This is Shining and your first Heart and Hooves together since you started dating, and you just know it’s going to be perfect.
>He said to leave everything to him.
>You were hesitant at first, but he said to trust him, so you did.
>You wonder if it’ll br dinner and a show.
>That new romantic comedy you’ve been wanting to see just started showing, maybe that’s it.
>Whatever it is, you know you’ll both love it.
>But for now, you have a photo op scheduled with the royal family at the castle garden followed by foal sitting your favorite little cousin.
>Maybe you might be able to steal a few minutes with Shining if you’re lucky.
>As you near the garden entrance, you see Aunt Celestia’s assistant waiting for you with her ever present clipboard.
>”Hello Princes Cadance, I trust you are well today.”
>She greets you with a smile and gesturing you to follow her.
“Of course, especially today.”
>She leads you to a clearing with heart shaped topiaries.
>You see your Aunt Celestia slowly walking while moving her head from side to side, as if looking for something.
>”Wheeere is he? Wheeeere’s my little prince? Why I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find him.”
>You hear a giggle come from behind one of the topiaries.
>You smile at the antics before you and walk to Anon’s hiding place.
“Wow, a laughing shrub! Will the wonders of this garden ever cease?”
>You say with faux amazement.
>You hear a lod gasp, and almost immediately see Anon’s head poke out from behind it’s hiding place.
>”Cadance!”
>He grins from ear to ear and starts running as fast as he can to you.
>You know what’s coming and crouch down slightly to be more at his level and are rewarded with a firm hug around your neck.
“Why hello my favorite little prince! Did you miss me?”
>”I sure did!”
>He nods enthusiastically.
>You both start hopping up and down.
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and do a little shake!”
>You both say together while going through the motions of your special greeting and laugh together.
>Sometimes you don’t know who enjoys that song more, the ponies you foal sit for or you.
>”Ah-ha, I thought I heard my sunshine over here.”
>Your aunt says from behind Anon.
>He looks over his shoulder at he and smiles again.
>”Mommy! Cadance is here.”
>”I can see that, thank you very much sweetheart. Oh, and one more thing honey.”
>She leans down, extends a wing and boops him on the nose.
>”Found you.”
>He giggles again and tries to brush her wing away.
>”No fair, I came out to see Cadance.”
>She tilts her head to the side and appears to be deep in thought.
>”Hmmm, well if that’s the case… I suppose we can call this one a tie. Why don’t you go see if Auntie Luna will want to try looking for you this time.”
>”Okay mommy.”
>He agrees and starts to run towards his aunt’s direction.
“No running.”
>Both of you call out to him.
>He slows down and briskly walks the rest of the way.
>You look at your aunt and see her smiling lovingly at him.
>You don’t even need your magic to tell how much they love each other.
>She lets out a sigh.
>”I sometimes wonder if all children of his kind are like him.”
>You look from her back to him.
“Something tells me that he is one of a kind. I get this feeling that he’s special, and that we’re lucky to have him.”
>She looks at you with a caring motherly smile and dries her eye with a wing.
>”Thank you my little pony. Now, speaking of somepony special…”
>She gestures to Shining Armor near where you first came in.
>”I believe you have enough time to go see him before the photographers arrive.”
>She says with a wink.
>You decide to take advantage pf this opportunity and head in his direction.
>It’s apparently looked down on for a guard to talk about private matter while on duty.
>Even if a princess initiates the conversation.
“Why hello my knight in shining armor.”
>You greet him with a pet name you know he isn’t too fond of.
>”Cadance!”
>He yelps and quickly looks around him, probably to see if anypony heard him or you.
>”You know I can’t talk right nw. I’m on duty.”
>He says nervously.
“Well in that case, shouldn’t you be referring to me Princess Miamore Cadenza?”
>”P-Princess Mia-“
“I’m joking Shining. I know you’re on duty so I’ll make it quick.”
>He smiles like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
>He’s cute when he smiles.
>The uniform also helps, but you can keep those thoughts for later.
“I just wanted to check with my favorite guard and see if you had any plans for tonight.”
>”Oh yeah, there’s this show that starts tonight that I’ve been waiting to see for a while now. I even got advance tickets.”
>Well, well, well, someopony’s been busy.
>You like a stallion that plans ahead.
>You step closer to him.
“So what are you going to see?”
>”It’s the new Power Ponies stage show.”
>…what?
“The Power Ponies?”
>”Yeah, I’ve been waiting for this since it was announced.”
“So you’re going by yourself?”
>”No, of course not.”
>Okay… maybe he thinks you like them too.
>It might be fun to see something he’s so into.
>Fun maybe, but definitely not romantic.
>”I’m going with some guys from the garrison.”
“…Really?”
>”Yeah, it’ going to be great!”
>You just stare at him.
>He has to be joking, he can’t possibly not know how much he is messing this up.
“Shining… dear… do you know what today is?”
>”Uh… Tuesday?”
>He answers almost unsure of himself.
>The look on your face tells him that isn’t the answer you wanted to hear.
>”It’s- it’s not our anniversary is it?”
>Really?
>REALLY!?
“No Shining. It’s not our anniversary.”
>”Oh good, for a second there I was worried. So what is it?”
>You need to walk away before you say something you’re going to regret.
“That will be all Private Armor.”
>”Wha- Cadance wait, what’s-“
“I said, that will be all.”
>You storm away in a huff.”
>Unbelievable.
>How could he not remember Hearts and Hooves Day?
>It’s not like there aren’t giant heart displays anywhere you look or anything.
>You practically stomp over to your aunts and wait for the photographers to arrive, while putting on a fake smile.
>”Cadance? Is everything alright?”
“I’m fine Aunt Luna.”
>You notice the two sisters exchange glances with each other but choose to say nothing further.
>You barely register the photographers positioning you and the others for the desired shots.
>In an attempt to distract yourself from your idiot coltfriend, you try to think up the title of the article the pictures are going to be partnered with.
>Something like “A Royal Party,” or “A Royal Holiday.”
>Whatever it is, it will probably have the word royal involved.
>The ponies who write those headlines just love their wordplay.
>Wordplay and puns, they use puns a lot too.
>”Alright, that should be enough. Thank you your majesties.”
>The last camera pony says with a bow.
>Wow, looks like you were able to distract yourself through the entire event.
>”Looks like it’s back to day court for me.”
>Your aunt quips.
>”Awwww.”
>Anon says dejectedly.
>She leans down and drapes her wings around him in a hug which he eagerly returns.
>”Don’t worry, if there’s a break in court I’ll come find you. But if not, I’ll see you at dinner sunshine. Alright?”
>”Okay.”
>He begrudgingly agrees.
>”I must return to my duties as well Anonymous. However, I do take solace in the fact you will be in good hooves while we are away.”
>Your other aunt says motioning to you before hugging him with her wings as well.
“The best hooves available Aunt Luna. We’re going to have so much fun, and eat so much Hearts and Hooves candy.”
>”Really?”
>He asks eagerly.
>”You can have a few pieces, we don’t want you spoiling your appetite for supper.”
>”Okay. Bye Mommy, bye Auntie Luna.”
>He says waving to them as they leave.
“I’ll see you two later.”
>You call out as well.
>You look down at Anon and discover him staring intently at you.
“Um, is everything alright?”
>”You looked sad before. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, just…”
>You look over to Shining, who is talking with other guards.
“Disappointed.”
>”Is this because you didn’t get a Hearts and Hooves Day card?”
“Something like that.”
>”Then don’t worry.”
>He says, reaching into his shirt.
>You wonder what he’s doing until he pulls out a hoof drawn card and holds it out for you.
>”It wouldn’t fit in my pocket.”
>He explains as you take the card with your magic.
>There are a lot of hearts drawn onto it and your cutie mark in the middle made with silver glitter.
“Do you have glitter on your chest?”
>He pulls out his shirt and examines himself.
>”Yes.”
>Looks like somepony is getting a bath later, or at the very least wiped down.
“Of all the hearts, there is only one like yours.”
>You say reading the front.
“You always see the best in ponies, even when they fight. You also spread love to those who are short on it. You keep me safe and make me laugh and smile when Mommy and Auntie Luna aren’t here. Thanks you for being you. Anon.”
>You finish reading the inside.
>You also remember the time you showed Anon and Twilight your ability to spread love.
>You told them it was for ponies who were “short” on love.
>Ponies who may have had a fight or misunderstanding.
>The ones who loved each other, but needed a little boost to help remind them of their love.
>Kind of like you and Shining Armor now.
“Thank you for the card Anon.”
>You say leaning down to nuzzle him.
>”Mm-hmm, Mommy said you should give your very special somepony a card to let them know how you feel.”
>Wait, what?
“Your very special somepony?”
>”Uh-huh.”
>He nods.
“Did your mommy explain what a very special sompony is?”
>”Mommy said it’s somepony who makes you happy and smile when you’re sad. And that’s you.”
>Well, she isn’t exactly wrong.
>”TODAY IS WHAT!?”
>You hear Shining yell.
>Looks like somepony finally figured out what today is.
>He comes running up to the two of you.
>”Hi Shining Armor.”
>Anon greets.
>”Hello… Prince Anonymous…”
>He manages between wheezes.
>”Cadance! I’m sorry… I forgot what day it was. The guard is keeping me so busy it slipped my mind. I’ll make it up to you though, I promise.”
>He practically pleads.
>”We’ll go to dinner and I’ll take you to that stage show you told me you wanted to see.”
“What about the Power Ponies?”
>”Forget the Power Ponies. This is our first Hearts and Hooves and I almost completely blew it. I’m so, so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
>He seems genuinely sincere.
>And the life of a guard, especially a new recruit like him must be overwhelming.
>But you’re going to have a little fun with this so that he never forgets Hearts and Hooves again.
“Of course I forgive you Shining.”
>”So you’re not mad?”
“I didn’t say that.”
>”Are- are we still on for tonight though?”
>You tilt your head to the side as if you’re deep in thought.
“Hmmmmm… I don’t know. I’ll have to ask my very special somepony first.”
>”I just said I wanted to take you out tonight.”
>He says more than a little confused.
“Oh no, not you. The very special somepony that actually got me a card today.”
>”What? Who?”
>You motion with your head towards Anon who is smiling.
>”You’re her very special somepony?”
>”Uh-huh. I gave her a card and we’re going to eat Harts and Hooves day candy together.”
>Shining’s jaw hangs open, and you chuckle at his reaction.
>You magic his mouth closed and kiss him on the cheek.
“I’ll see you tonight. Come on Anon, there’s a whole bunch of candy with our names on it.”
>You say walking away from your dumbfounded coltfriend.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anonymous snores away, strapped to his mother's frontside in an adult sized papoose
>The Minotaur Queen stares lovingly at the sight
>"Oh, Princess." She says in a gruff voice
>"He's so darling. Reminds me of mine when they were calfs."
>'Would you like to hold him? He's asleep so he shouldn't be too fussy.'
>Her eyes go full moeshit and she lets out an uncharacteristic squee
>"There, there, my little bull. Iron Wilma will keep your gains safe."
>Anonymous stirs
>He burps and mutters something in his sleep
"ZZz..I'M the flyin dutchman..zzNNZzt..I'M the flyin dutchman..ZZz"
>She's trying not to do a little dance and mouths "SOOO CUUUUTE" to your mother
=======================================================================================================================================
Would mom have to keep an eye on her inexperienced son around older mares?
>"P-princess, i-it was nothing like that, I can assure you!"
>'Oh? You WEREN'T taking advantage of my son's kind nature by saying your alleged wing cramps would go away if he massaged them and repeated 'Ma'am, yes ma'am' during?'
>"Y-your Highness, a mare has needs."
 
>"Ms. De Lis? Seriously, mare?"
>'G-grant me strength, Princess, but when he scratched behind my ears, I could not hold.'
>"..That's quite alright, you're just lucky my sunshine has such an unsuspecting nature to him."
>"I told him your..*ahem* release, was the work of swamp gasses caught in the ionosphere and he bought it."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, stop sulking, your Aunt loves you very much and doesn't get to see you that often."
>'-Because she lives on the fucking moon, mom. Did YOU see anyone else there last time you went? Huh? Any other kids my age?'
>"Anonymous, I know it's not what you're used to, but please, for mommy?"
>'EVERYTHING is 'moon prison this, moon prison that' with her, mom. All she has to eat over there is top ramen and ketchup packets.'
>"..The fuck has she been doing with all the money I've been sending her?"
>'I don't like her neighbors, either. Little square moononite fucks.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Dear Anonymous, somepony once said 'War is hell.'"
>"That pony obviously never spent time at fat camp."
>'Mom, I'm right here and this isn't a fat camp.'
>She gives you a quizzical look from her tactical camo bush
>'..I-it's a resort for Princesses' who MAY have a problem uh, knowing when enough is enough.'
>"YOU SAID MY FLANKS WERE A HEALTHY SIZE!"
>'MOM IF YOU DON'T GET HELP, YOUR BLOOD TYPE IS GOING TO BE FROSTING.'
=======================================================================================================================================
Reminds me of an idea I had.
>Celestia is able to shapeshift because advanced magic
>She wants to spend time with her son (and get the human dick)
>But Anon gets a girlfriend
>Celestia kidnaps her and replaces her
>Anon finds out somehow
>He gets another
>Rinse and repeat
>He has an attractive girlfriend that Sunbutt replaces
>He pretends that he doesn't know
>He admits that by accident during a lovemaking session
>They lived happily ever after
>Luna got involved after impersonating his GF too
>Celestia and Luna trade off every now and then - Celestia spends time with him at night and Luna during the day (with the help of a spell to give energy)
>Anon figures it out
>They play a "game" where he has to guess who he's fucking
>If he's right, he knocks them up
>Otherwise, they give him blue balls
>He's always right.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon
>Holding down a job in Equestria is harder than you thought, different things are required of workers here
>You were fired from your job at the Sofa and Quill shop because you couldn't hit the high notes when singing
>Twilight suggests joining the Royal Guard
>It pays well and it's pretty straightforward
>Also, Celestia will let you use her as a reference, which is pretty handy when applying to be her bodyguard
>Once you sign up, you quickly realize the Guard serves a dual purpose
>The moment Celestia is out of sight, the guards become her surrogate children
>Anon is immediately assigned to "Interior Bedchamber Guard" at her request, which basically means that he's going to be the primary recipient of her maternal affection for the time being
 
>Celestia nods coolly at her guards as the last of the Day Court files out of the doors.
>"At ease."
>The court doors finally shut with an enormous bang.
>There's a solid five seconds of silence, and then Celestia turns to her guards with a big smile on her face.
>"Who wants ice cream?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"..Sister art thou entirely sure Anonymous's recent growth spurts are completely natural in origin?"
>'Ofcourse, Luna, he's a growing boy after all.'
>"Tia, his steps crack the palace's marble floors and he routinely exerts his dominance over the guards."
>'My baby's just having fun is all, look!'
>Meanwhile Anonymous chases a troop of terrified guards through the halls
"HAHAH YAY, I'M IT, I'M IT! THE LIVING ROOM IS BASE!"
>'Love you, sweetie, play nice~'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"I did NOT like how that..ehh 'Miss Rarity' seamstress had her hands all over you, Anonymous."
>'Better her than Fancy Pant's shaky hands, mom. I can only take 'Woops! Pardon for ringing the belfry there ol' chap!' so long.'
>"..Did that slut write her number on the collar?"
>'Mom, please.'
>"NO, WE ARE GOING BACK RIGHT NOW AND I AM SETTING THAT BITCH STRAIGHT."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Principal Momlestia notices that Cheerilee is flirting with her sunshine.
What happens?
 
>"We're both grown gals with needs, Cheerie, you can open up to your boss. Any students that you'd care to have some 'extracurricular' time with?"
>'N-no, ma'am, none whatsoever.'
>"Oh, come now, there has to be that one young man~."
>'I-I can assure you, Principal Celestia, it's nothing like that.'
>Cheerilee sweats as mom is cleaning her handgun
>She puts it down momentarily to wipe a smudge off a framed photograph of Anonymous on her desk
>"Oh. If you say so. Remember to live a little, Ms. Cheerilee, life is too short to ponder the what if's and shoulda's."
>'I-I'll be sure to do that, thank you, ma'am.'
>"Just make sure it's not with my son."
 
>Cheerilee walks around in her old cheerleader outfit to try to suduce the principal's son.
 
>"I don't care if she is my boss..t-that used up bag isn't keeping that Adonis of a son all to herself."
>Miss Cheerilee stands in front of the mirror in the staff restroom
>"..'Anonymous, would you care to help me limber up?~'"
>"Ugh, damnit, Cheerie, you sound like a bad porn acto-"
>A toilet flushes
>Cheerilee freezes at the sink
>Vice Principal Luna makes her way over to wash her hands
>'Ms. Cheerilee.'
>"Viceprincipalluna."
>'Be warned, tis your own funeral thou art dressing for. My sister does not take to suitors for Anonymous very kindly.'
>"H-how do you mean?"
>'Remember the French instructor, Ms. De Lis?'
>"...."
>'Ofcourse not.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never fuck cousin Candy while mom is giving you instructions.
 
>"Now, in the interest of making sure the both of you are on the same page with each other, I'm going to have you vocalize what you want from one another."
>Mom sits across the room while you and Cadence are on your bed
>"Cadence?"
>'...I..I kindofwantanonymoustosmellmyhairandgrabmyass.'
>"I'm sorry?"
>Cadence turns another shade of pink
>'I said I want Anonymous to smell my hair and g-grab my ass.'
>"Very good, communication is key here, Cadence. Sweetheart, how about you?"
>'I-is she a mind reader, mom?'
=======================================================================================================================================
Sorry I prefer superior cousin pussy instead.
 
>Anon returns to campus after lunch looking no worse for wear
>Walks a little funny and has a dumb smirk on his face
>"I take it you enjoyed a nice lunch with your cousin?"
>'Hmm? Lunch?..Mmm, yeah something like that. I do remember eating some pie.'
>Mom cups his cheek
>"Oh, you. Anyway, how has Cadence bee-"
>Her hand falls to his shoulder as she pulls the collar of his shirt down
>His neck is full of hickeys and there are bite marks on his shoulder
>Mom frowns
>"..Going to have a word with that girl about not being so rough with things that don't belong to her."
=======================================================================================================================================
>You are Anon, ordinary human living on Earth
>One day as you're walking to work, the sky splits open and a brilliantly radiant white Pegacorn descends to the ground in front of you, startling everyone around
>Her eyes flutter open, and she lifts her hoof to point to the person in front of her
>She then starts pointing to various different people in sequence
>In the stunned silence, you can just barely hear her saying 'eenie-meanie-miney-moe' under her breath
>When she gets to you she freezes
>Even though she hasn't reached the end of the rhyme yet, she stops and her smile widens
>"My dear sweet Colt, did you think you were leaving the house without a proper breakfast?"
"...What the fuck?"
>She pouts
>"That's certainly no way to speak to your mother, young man!"
"Huh? Mo--I don't know who or what you even--"
>She presses the tip of her hoof against your lips and shushes gently
>"Now, now, I understand that you want to look cool in front of your friends. Maybe it would be too 'lame' for your mother to bring you your lunch, hmm?"
>Her horn glows, and she pulls a brown paper bag seemingly out of her ass
>It has the word 'human' written on it in fanciful calligraphy
>It's levitated into your hands, and you stare at it dumbfounded
>"When you get home from school, I'll have a nice, hot meal waiting for you my dear...Anonymous?"
>You look up, and see her holding your wallet, squinting as she studies your driver's license
>She shrugs and floats it back into your pocket
>"Not what I would've chosen...Anonymous! Have a wonderful day, my sparkling ray of sunshine!"
>She explodes in a blinding flash of light, disappearing as quickly as she came
>Everybody is staring at you
>You start laughing nervously
>You don't stop until you lock yourself in the bathroom at work and cradle your head in your hands
>If you're going to have a mental breakdown, you can at least do it on the clock
=======================================================================================================================================
>you catch mom reading 50 shades of hay
 
wat do?
 
>"..'Was this really happening? Was she truly going to share this kind of love with her son?' "
>"Oh my skies..." Mom utters turning another page
>" 'Mom..' He said locking eyes with her."
>" 'She immediately sprang up to her haunches and used her magic to disintergrate his pants into nothing, freeing his magnificent co-' "
>Anon enters the room
>'Hi, mom, was thinking about grabbing some lunch, wanna come with?'
>"Oh baby, I thought you'd never ask-..*ahem*, y-yes, I would..to get lunch that is."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Ms. Minuette, would you please look after my son for a moment?"
>Mom ushers you into the office of a cute young woman with a sparkling smile and two tone hair
>'I'd love to, ma'am!'
>"Anonymous, sweetie, mommy will be RIGHT back. I want you on your best behavior for Ms. Minuette, is that clear?"
>You cross your arms and nod vigorously
>She's out the door and swept up in an entourage of other grown up's in suits
>'Would you like a candy, Anonymous? They're sugar free, ofcourse!'
>You hop up in the chair opposite her as she places it on your open palm across her desk
>You catch a glance of a tattoo above her right breast
>It's a smiling tooth holding a flaming toothbrush
>You try not to smile but fail and end up covering your mouth to giggle
>'Oooh you are SUCH a little cutie!~'
>A knock at the door stops her from pinching your cheek
>"Minuette, these projections for our 3rd quarterly-, OH MY GOSH, SHE BROUGHT YOU BACK, HIIII ANONYMOUS~"
>It's Ms. Moondancer, you remember her as being super cuddly and soft
>Minuette bristles at the intrusion
>'G-go away, Moondancer! Ms. Celestia left him in my care, he doesn't wanna do sudoku puzzles with you or hear about your cats!'
>"Atleast I don't have to resort to bribery." Moondancer shot back, pointing to the candies
>*ahem*
>You throw your hands up
>Hi mommy!
>She smiles as she bends down to pick you up
>"Oh, my little boy is growing into quite the ladies man already isn't he?"
>Moondancer and Minuette put on happy, civil faces for the moment
>"My, we'll have to start some sort of schedule to see who gets the pleasure of your company, won't we, sweetheart?"
>'H-hehe, yeah, I guess you will!'
>It was Twilight, the office's mail girl
>All 3 women direct their attention to her
>"Twilight, please."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"That's my candy!"
>'Nonsense! All sweets obtained upon the holy lunar holiday of Nightmare Night are ours by default!'
>"Cheater!"
>'T-the insolence! Sister! Have you taught him no manners?'
>Mom sighs, eating Anon's less desirables
>"He's a child, Luna. If you would like candy, I'm sure he'd be willing to share, if you'd ask nicely."
>'Ask 'nicely'?! H-HATH THOU FORGOTTEN-'
>"Don't you yell at my mommy, mean Auntie Moon!"
>'INCONCEIVABLE! WE SHALL TAN THY HIDE FROM GREEN TO ...T-TAN!'
>"PBBBBBT!! NYAH!"
>'NO YOU, PBBBBBT!!!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon is a Planeswalker
>In order to travel to another world, he has to be born into it
>He does this by essentially picking a womb at random and hopping right on in
>He happens to choose Celestia
>She's confused and scared at her sudden pregnancy, especially since she's supposed to be infertile
>After figuring out what's happening, she grows accustomed to the idea, and even becomes excited
>A child of her own, and an immortal one at that!
>She won't have to feel the pain of outliving her child
>But Planeswalkers must Walk the Planes
>He'll want to move on eventually...
>Not if she has anything to say about it
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Donchu shtart 'sshshshshshing' ME, young m- *hic, young m- *hic*, mmmy little green cuddle monshter."
>'Mom, please, this-'
>"Unf, 'mom, please' is fuggin' right, shunshine..d-do *hic* do me right here, right now."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"HEEEY, TIGER!"
>'DAD!'
>Anon jumps into his dark lord fathers arms
>'Do it-, do the fiery eye thing!'
>"You mean...THIS?"
>Mom notices and looks up from her evening paper
>'Anonymous, don't encourage your father.'
>Dad stops the fiery eye thing
>"Oh..oh lord..sick. as. a. dog. Oh man..Non', hey, tiger, would you go grab your old man the pepto?"
 
>you are anon
>and mom and dad are fighting again
>he wants her to let him be free, free to be his own man, do his work in peace, because it pays for half the castle
>she just wants him to stop trying to conquer equestria for once in his life
>their differing world views have lead to some interesting disputes in the past
>you hate seeing them fight
>"YOU ENSLAVED HALF OF GRIFFONSTONE!" your mom screams
>>THEY REFUSED TO MAKE MY UNHOLY ENGINES OF WAR. WOULD YOU HAVE ME SEND THEM FLOWERS?" dad yells right back
>you sit in your room, on your bed, trying to read your comics
>they love each other
>but sometimes you can see that they are just too different
>>"IM SORRY THAT I THINK THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER SHROUDED IN DARKNESS"
>"You sound like my sister having an emo phase"
>>"oh please, that mewling whelp of a villain wouldn't know her flank from a flask, and regularly SUCKS FROM BOTH!"
>Uh oh.
>daddy insulted aunty Luna
>he's never been this mad
>its gone awful quiet out there
>suddenly your door bursts open, shattering into a million shards, and taking a good portion of the wall with it
>your father groans, his helmet dented as he stands up
>he looks at you
>>"hey champ!"
>you brush a chunk of oak off of your bed and close your comic
"Are you and mommy gonna get a divorce?"
>he laughs and shakes his hand
>it's glowing with black fire
>>"nah, we're just having a disagreement "
>he walks back to the hole that was once your door, taking a deep breath, before his dark spell engulfs his entire body, and he rockets out of your room with a roar
>you walk over to watch
>you hate when they fight
>but god DAMN!
>It looks so cool!
 
>"Non'? Hey, sport, why don't you run along and play with pop's workfriend while me & mom have a chat, huh? You remember Terry, right?"
>You do, he likes legos and juiceboxes, too
>Standing off to the side, he shuffles nervously and finally says 'I uh..I told you that in confidence, Boss.'
>"Yeah well it's alot easier for my son to say than "Wish King of Akbar. And HEY..you let him win he wants to play vidya, got it?"
 
>Anon gets home after getting beaten by bullies
>Dad leads his elite uruks to burn their houses down.
>Meanwhile Mom bakes anon and his orc captain uncle some waffles while they play vidya.
 
>"Oh eez' a wee lit'ul grot he is, innit."
>Anon tries to hold on of their clubs
>"Lookit that, boys!"
>They all feign terror
>"Lord Mast'r Nonymous, show us mercy!"
>He's barely able to lift it to point in the direction of one of their Felbeast's
>'Bang!'
>It falls over and pretends to be dead
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Mom, I'm going away for a while"
>"Remember dads favorite song?"
>"Yes my son, its my favorite too"
"I'm going to be just like him, I'm going to fly like he did when he arrived here in Equestria"
>"Son..I just don't want to lose you.."
>"You really are your fathers son"
>"I love you mom, I'll be the wings on your back from now on, its my time to shine"
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n9EwRw3jiI&t=50s
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon is tall, muscular, and he's rocking a pretty thick beard
>He looks pretty odd by most ponies' standards, but not to Princess Celestia
>He reminds her a lot of her long-passed father
>She didn't get to have much of a childhood, seeing as she inherited Equestria at a pretty young age
>As much as she tries to deny it, she can't help but feel drawn to Anonymous
>Meanwhile, she doesn't realize that he's feeling a similar mix of confused emotions
>Her gentle and motherly nature is making him long for simpler days in his youth, before his mother was sacrificed to the gods of plot convenience
>They eventually talk it out and discover that they are both weirdos
>But they decide they can be weirdos together
=======================================================================================================================================
> You're Anon.
> Lounging on a couch in the palace hallway, reading a book.
> It's a quiet little spot with a bit of background noise from the bustle of the evening's activities.
> You hear the sound of approaching hooves.
> Quick glance reveals Celestia, clearly on her way to you.
> You close the book and wait for her.
> Soon she's sitting on the floor next to you, the tiny couch being a bit too small to share with a pony of her size.
> "Hello my sweetcake."
> You roll your eyes.
"Hi mom."
> "Good book?"
"Sure sure."
> You rise up to a proper sitting position.
"What's up?"
> "It's getting quite late so I think it's about time we start getting ready for sleep."
"Already? We only just had dinner like an hour ago!"
> The corners of her mouth turn up in a little smirk.
> "Time sure flies when you're having fun."
> A quick look through the window shows the moon high in the night sky.
"Huh. I guess we should go then."
> Before you can rise from the couch, golden magic picks you up and sets you on your stomach on her back.
"Mooom! I can walk on my own for fucks sake."
> "Oh shush, I'm sure your feet are tired after a long day."
> She's walking towards her bedchambers with you on her back, still keeping you paritially in her magic to reduce the strain on her back and to keep your feet from dragging on the ground.
"Well they're not. I've apparently been sitting on that couch since dinner."
> "With half as many legs, you must be twice as exhausted as I am!"
"I don't think it works that way."
> "Well I'm the princess and I declare it so!"
"You're the dumbcess."
> "That's not a very nice thing to say."
> You sense a bit of hurt in her voice.
"And kidnapping me is not a very nice thing to do."
> She was just joking around and here you go ruining it again.
> "Is it wrong for a mother to take care of her own?"
> You sigh.
"I'm sorry mom. I didn't really mean it."
> "It's alright pumpkin, I forgive you."
> You hug her neck and bury your head in her mane.
> She's sometimes a bit overbearing but she does take good care of you.
> You ended up in Equestria through some magical anomaly.
> Rogue magic can be dangerous but this has been the only case of a new species being transported across dimensions.
> As a result, you ended up dealing with Celestia herself.
> She grew quite fond of you and as you grew closer you learned a lot about eachother.
> Holy shit that mare has some deranged fantasies
> Lucky for her, you're quite openminded yourself.
> Soon enough, you agreed to get officially adopted by her.
> Though you were an adult, she'd occasionally treat you like an actual child, and you were happy to play along.
> You were both fucked up like that.
> In the end though you know she loves you, and you love her.
> The core of your relationship is genuine.
> And her mane smells amazing.
> Like a combination of everything that's good in this world.
> Eventually you pass the door into her bedchambers.
> She magics you off her back and goes to get something from the cupboard.
"You got something there?"
> "Yes!" she chirps
> You see her turn around with something in her magic.
"Bathtime?"
> "Of course!"
"But I took a shower just this morning."
> "That was a special exception. It's not a reason disturb your usual routine."
> You've a feeling you're not going to win this argument.
> Not that it even matters as she's got you in her magic again, quickly undressing you.
> When she's done, she pauses to admire your nude form.
> "Who's my handsome little human?"
"Fucks sake.."
> You've been through this so many times.
> She's just looking at you expectantly and you know there's only one way out of this.
> Sigh
"I am..."
> A bright smile takes over her face and she lets out a cute little squee.
> Simple mares have simple joys.
> She brings you over to a hug as she starts taking making her way over to the bathroom.
> You're gently placed into the full bathtub.
> She seats herself to the side of the tub.
> "Is the water good?"
"It's perfect, mom."
> You stretch your back and shift into a more relaxed position.
> Seeing as you just laid your back against the tub, Celestia starts the washing with your feet instead.
> She's working her magic, simultaneously soaping and massaging.
> It feels heavenly.
> You open your eyes and they fall on your mother.
> Working away with such gentle care.
> She senses your gaze and shoots a smile your way while working on your legs.
> Her magic is circling its way up and soon enough she's giving you the most lovely butt massage.
"That feels lovely."
> She gives a satisfied hum. And moves to your frontside.
> Gentle magic envelops your balls as you watch your mother, working with such a loving smile and her eyes on the prize.
> You get the feeling this should feel wrong.
> Fuck the haters, this is amazing.
> She moves on to your dick, stroking it gently but without sexual intent.
> Simply a mother caring for her young.
> Your mother.
> She's provided you with nothing but unconditional love.
> And deranged sex.
> Never forgetting the unconditional love though.
> You're the luckiest fucker in the entire universe.
> She'd moved on to your back.
"Fuck that feels amazing. I spent the entire evening in a really shitty posture on that couch."
> She stopped the massage.
"Hey, why'd you stop?"
> "Anon."
> Oh fuck.
> She's using the stern mother voice
> "I'm trying to be patient with you..."
> Fuckedy fuck.
> "...but this foul language..."
> Here we go.
> "...is getting out of hand."
"I'm sorry."
> No I'm not, heh!
> "You say that but you never try to improve."
> Shit.
"I'm trying mom, I promise!"
> "No."
"N-No?"
> "I think some punishment is in order."
"NO! I can be better! For real this time!"
> Celestia stays silent as she's giving you the judgemental stare.
> You know you can't talk your way out of this.
> She's a mother in discipline mode.
> And you were just thinking how lucky you were.
> Oh well, you win some you lose some.
> You know it's game over at this point.
"FUCK THIS!"
> She doesn't flinch.
> You rise from the tub and lean with your hands on the edge, trying to look menacing.
"I HATE YOUR SHITTY FUCKING RULES!"
"I AM A FREE MAN! YOU'VE NO RIGHT TO FORCE YOUR WAYS ON ME!"
"YOU CAN GO FUC-"
> A bar of soap darts into your mouth.
> You gurgle a miserable protest as it ravages your mouth.
> This isn't the first time this has happened.
> In fact, this has happened often enough that you've grown used to the taste.
> Celestia doesn't need to know that though.
"Thas' poison!"
> "No talking back during punishment."
> She keeps going.
> "I'm only doing this because I love you."
"Loving mothers don' ... poison ther children!"
> You manage to argue through the soap.
> "You'll understand when you get older. It's for the best."
> You sit in silence as Celestia keeps going.
> Eventually she's starting to slow down.
> "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
> You hang your head in defeat.
"I'm sorry mom."
> "You watch your tongue in the future."
"I will."
> Fucker.
> You turn to the tap to get some water in your mouth, trying to get the remaining bits of soap out of your mouth.
> You feel you've done an adequate job but you don't spit out all of the water.
> Instead, you let out a practiced burp...
> ..and smile brightly at the couple of bubbles it produced.
> It is a skill you've honed to perfection over the months.
> A worthy skill for the NEW PRINCE OF EQUESTRIA!
> You turn to Celestia with that shit-eating grin of yours.
> She has buried her face in her hoof and is now resting it on the edge of the tub.
> Behind it you can see a look of deep disappointment.
> You stifle a snicker.
> You scooch over and wrap your arms around her neck and put on the most innocent voice you can muster.
"What's wrong mommy?"
> She lets out a deep sigh.
> "What am I going to do with you.."
"Well-"
> "Don't answer that."
> You remain silent.
> The silence lasts for a short while.
> "We should continue your bath."
"Yeah."
> She gets back to work on your back and makes quick work of the remaining work.
> Magic wraps around you as you're lifted from the tub.
> A warm towel makes its way to you and soon you're enveloped in the soft cloth.
> Soon you're completely dry and on your way out of the bathroom.
"Where the fuck are my pajamas?"
> A hoof smacks you in the back of the head.
> You rub it with a hand as you walk and soon you're seated on the edge of the enormous bed.
"Well?"
> "I think you look fine the way you are!"
"It's cold as fu- dge though."
> A little golden magic and suddenly you feel warm again.
"Thanks I guess."
> "Now. I believe you haven't eaten since dinner?"
"Correct."
> "Well then."
> She hops on the bed and makes her way to the pillows.
> Resting on her side, she moves a hindleg to expose her teats in an inviting gesture.
> You scooch over and quickly wrap your lips around one.
> It tastes like orange juice.
> Fucking wizards, man.
> You're thankful though, since pony milk tasted quite bad to you.
> You just keep on sucking as Celestia strokes your back with a wing.
> Soon you're done and a blanket floats over to cover you both.
> Everything is perfect.
> Full stomach.
> Laying in the warm embrace of your mother.
> You feel sleepiness starting to take over.
"I love you mom."
> "I love you too, my little faggot."
=======================================================================================================================================
>blah blah magic allergy, mom gets age regressed to a filly
>still retains power because still alicorn princess
>"Mom, you CANNOT put him on time-out, the Minotaur delegate has diplomatic immunity."
>'NO! HE SAID MY CAKE TAX WAS DUMB, NYAH!'
>"I'm sorry, we'll have to adjourn this meeting until my mother decides to start acting like a young princess should."
>'Anonymous. Carry me to my next meeting.'
>"You have wings and magic, mom."
>'I'm still a princess, young man, now, carry momma~.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia wants the best(ia) for her Sunshine
>But as Anon has grown into the handsome young man that he is today, she's increasingly realized that all mares are sluts and whores
>It's strange that she didn't notice all these millennia she's lived, but at least she realized in time to protect her precious little Sunbeam
>She strains her brain trying to think of what kind of mare she'd approve of her baby dating, but the only one she can truly trust to protect his heart is herself
>And he'd never approve of mating with his own mother
>A-and of course, she wouldn't want to do it either! That would be silly! Incest is wrong, even if they're not technically related by--
>After pushing the bad thoughts out of her mind yet again, the solution becomes obvious:
>Bring a younger version of herself forward in time to be Anon's mate!
>She's can trust herself to protect his smile, AND it's definitely not weird or creepy, because she won't be his mother for thousands of years!
>She's immortal, so spending a human lifespan out of her proper time wouldn't have any real impact
>Of course, when she does return and the timeline normalizes, present Celestia will now have nearly a century's worth of memories of being Anon's devoted, loving wife...
>...and all the duties that entails...
>But that's something she's willing to live with for her special little guy
 
>Celestia pulls forward angsty Teenlestia, who only agreed to come to get away from her LAME mom who doesn't get her
>She refuses to see that young her isn't a good match for Anon
>She's loud, has terrible opinions about pretty much everything, and is ridiculously sexually aggressive with Anon
>Luna does what she can to protect Anon from her cock-thirsty sister while trying to talk some sense into her sister
 
>"Oh my GAWD , sunshine, gimme that dick."
>'H-holy shit this is hot...also, um, can you not call me 'sunshine'?..my mom's always saying that.'
=======================================================================================================================================
So would mom plan a family vacation for spring break, or would she prefer to have a more intimate break at home with you?
 
>go to the beach somewhere
>walking with mom
>get stopped by random people
>"congratulations, you two, you just won hardbodies of the beach!"
>[clamor & fanfare intensify]
>some guy with a mic is in your face
>"Dude, you and your girl are lookin GOOD, bro, what's this fine ladies name?"
>you smile real big
>'Uhh, she's my mo-'
>mom answers for you
>'Tia, I'm his giiiirlfriend~ She says with a wink
 
"Can you excuse Tia and I for a moment?"
>"Of course."
"Mom what the hell are you doing?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anun? Sumshine? Mommy's date didun go so well..."
>"C-c-c-*hic* can you come offer here an' giff yur mommy cu-*urp*ddles? Pretty pleeeeeeeaaaaaase? Cuddles wiff muh lil Sumshine always makes mommy feel beddur...."
 
>You shake your head and just stroke her mane as she relays how her date went
>She starts drifting off and her eloquent tipsy princess speak drops to incoherent mumbles
>"..sho shtupid of me...m-mommy's perfect man w-was right infronaher...whole time.."
>"M-my darling boy...y-yerzonlymanmommyneeds, baby...zzZz.."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon going to gym class.
>You don't really mind gym at all, it's a good chance to clear your head and not have to think about books or numbers.
>And today you get to use the pool, so that also means girls in swimsuits.
>You get done changing only to be met with your mom standing before you and your friends looking like a life guard.
>"Alright, is everyone changed and ready to hit the water?"
"Mom?"
>"Hmm? Oh, hi sunshine. I didn't see you there."
"Mom, what are you doing here?"
>"Miss Harshwhinny called in sick today, so I said I'd substitute for her."
>You are trying to process this.
>On one hand cool because you love your mom and can probably goof off more than you could with Miss Harshwhinny.
>But you might not be able to look at the girls add openly either.
>"Hey, maybe she'll demonstrate mouth to mouth. If so, I volunteer."
>You hear a kid who doesn't really know you say.
>"Dude, shut up! That's the principal, and that kid's mom."
>You hear someone else say.
>"Now, since the forks have joined us I think it's a good time to go over some pool safety first. Can I get someone to help me to demonstrate C.P.R.?"
>You look around bit can't see the funny you used in health class.
>You also see Twilight raise her hand only to have Sunset grab it and pull it down.
>"No one? How about you?"
>She says pointing right at you.
>Are you kidding!?
"I, ugh, don't think..."
>"Now, now, there isn't anything to be embarrassed about.
>She says pulling you by the arm out from the group of students.
>"Now, lay on the ground here so everyone can see."
"Mom, I don't think this is a good idea."
>You whisper to her.
>"Oh, well if you think so."
>She says laying down on the floor instead.
>"Pay attention please, Anon will demonstrate how to properly preform C.P.R."
>You kneel down next to her trying to get her to stand up, but she takes your hand instead.
>"You'll want to put pressure about 2 fingers under the abdomen."
>She says guiding your hand slowly between her breasts.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Alright, Anon.
>Play it cool.
>You know she likes you, but it isn't a sure thing yet.
>You just gotta let her know you're interested, and you wouldn't mind hanging out sometime
>You just have to think of a witty way to say it.
>...
>Oh, God, think of something
>...
>"Anon, you O.K. there?"
>You're blowing it, jackass!
>JUST SAY SOMETHING
>>Don't worry, I got this.
>No, Penis! STOP!
"You know what, Twilight? If you play your cards right, you could be getting your pussy stuffed in one of those private study rooms in about 5 minutes."
>...
>Oh, dear sweet merciful Satan
>Oh, shit, my mom's going to hear what I said
>She's gonna tell Dean Cadence
>Dean Cadence is going to tell Aunt Luna
>Aunt Luna's going to tell my mom
>I'm so fucke-
>"Meet me in front of Study Room 12. It has black-out curtains. I'll go sneak the key from the librarian's office."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon in Equestria
>Ponies have a very strong sense of family to the point where there are very few orphans
>There are no issues of non-blood-related ponies feeling like they aren't really apart of the family, because the thought never occurs to them.
>It just doesn't work that way as far as they're concerned; maybe magic has something to do with it
>Thus, ponies are always eager to adopt
>Everypony has a mother, a father, and some siblings
>Enter Anon, a human adult
>Ponies look at him in pity
>"The poor dear doesn't even have a family."
>It is suggested to Anon that he allows himself to be adopted into a family to help with his integration
>Celestia jumps at the chance to expand her small but ever growing family and offers to adopt Anon
>Anon agrees because it's fucking royalty bruh
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Celestia.
>You, Luna, and your son Anon are at a royal dinner party.
>The nobles wouldn't leave you alone until they got to see Anon.
>You tried to tell them the poor colt can barely understand proper Enquish.
>Yet they wouldn't hear it.
>You tried to get them to understand how shy he was and how nervous he got around alot of ponies.
>A couple understanding nobles left you alone, but the loud majority wouldn't.
>If it weren’t for the fact of how shy he was you would have just done a speech with him next to you and got it over with.
>But last time you had to give a speech to some guards who just past training you took him with you.
>As soon as he was on the stage with you he began to shake.
>You thought it was just a small bit of stage fright and that he’d get over it when they focused on you, but you were wrong.
>”-and that is why my guards I thank you for your braver- huh?” you looked down at your wing when you felt something moving under it and saw Anon.
>He was hugging himself while nuzzled against you.
>He was no longer shaking and he was smiling with his eyes closed almost as if he was comfortable enough to go to sleep right there.
>A resounding ‘Aww’ came from the crowd.
>After that you smiled and continued your speech with Anon under your wing.
>That was all the proof you needed to confirm he trusted you but also he doesn’t do well with crowds.
>You didn't want Anon to think you were parading him around like some sort of prize either showing him to one pony at a time.
>Goodness knows you didn’t want him to feel self-conscious by a bunch of snobby ponies surrounding him.
>But then it came to you!
>A dinner party!
>So you started setting up.
>First of all you’d have arranged seating.
>You’d place Anon in the middle of Luna and you so that if he got shy get could easily get to your wing if he felt uncomfortable.
>You sat Shinning Armor, Cadence, and the elements on either side of you and Luna so the nobles couldn’t bug Anon within the area he deemed safe.
>You told the guards to only allow paparazzi with clean reps in.
>You even invited some of the griffon, minotaur and dragon government.
>By dragon government you mean Spike and Ember, but close enough.
>You look down at Anon and- where did he go?!
>You begin to panic.
“Luna! Where is Anon!?”
>You whisper yell.
>Luna jumps a bit and looks at Anon’s seat.
>”H-He was just here a second ago!”
>You panic and begin to look around.
>Your eyes catch the element of loyalty, honesty, kindness, Cadence, and Ember all at the griffon’s table looking at something where the griffon secretaries should be.
>As you make your way over you begin to hear laughing.
>You begin to speed up your pace and see something you never expected.
>”Holy buck look at em’ go!” Rainbow says laughing.
>”Oh my if I knew he ate that I would have brought fish.” Fluttershy says watching.
>”Heck he’s tearin’ into that like winona tears into her food.” Applejack says looking away.
>”I wonder if he eats gems too. If so I’ll make sure to bring some for the little prince.” Ember says with a small smile.
>Cadence is just biting her lip with her tail wrapped around her back leg.
>…
>You REALLY hope she just needs to use the bathroom…
>Anon is happily gnawing on the bone that once had a steak on it, as the secretary of defense Silver Wing and the secretary of homeland security Iron Claw laugh.
>”Haha, give him yours now Iron, I wanna see what he does!” She says nudging Iron.
>”He can have it, but I’m not sticking my claw anywhere near HIM with a steak.” He says with a chuckle.
>You see no nobles have seen him yet and figure now is the best time to get him with none of them seeing him.
“Hello miss Silver. While I’m sure my son would enjoy another steak that will have to wait for later.”
>You say as politely as possible.
>Anon hearing you looks over.
>”Heh, alright you heard her. Go on now.” She says nudging him with a wing.
>Anon looks at her.
>Then to you.
>”Well? What are you waiting fo- oof!” Silver is cut short as Anon gives her a big hug.
>Everyone ‘Aww’s’ as the secretary of defense begins to blush.
>”Aw, come on kid you’re making me look bad.” She says but still returns the hug.
>After a bit you say your goodbyes and head back to your table.
>Well, at least you don’t have to worry about the griffons not liking him.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Celestia.
>You are snuggling your baby boy.
>He came to you crying about a nightmare.
"I love you sunshine and I'll protect you forever. Nothing will ever hurt my baby. Especially any monsters."
>He snuggles into your chest tuft a bit more before looking up at you with hopeful eyes .
>"F-Forever?"
>You nuzzle him once more before he fades away revealing a tombstone.
>It was kept here for so long but even through hundreds of years it still looks the same, you made sure of that.
>You made sure no one would find this place by protecting it with your magic.
>Even when the nobles wanted to move the gardens he was kept in you fought them not to.
>You'd fight all of canterlot for him.
>You don't care what they write about him in their history books, you know the truth.
>Even when everyone else had no hope left for him, you still did.
>He wasn't a monster, just mislead.
>But they didn't listen to you, and he paid for it.
>You failed him.
>But you will never fail him again, -
>You feel a cold breeze flow around you.
>-you will protect him.-
>You start to feel tired.
>You lay your head down on the grass and mumble one last word before going to sleep.
"-Forever."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, w-why are cakes on Earth so small?"
>'Mom, if the average human were to have your average per hour caloric consumption, they'd lapse into a diabetic coma.'
>"Look at that one, it's being carried by a single human! Anonymous, stop this nightmare at once!"
>'That's a cupcake, mom.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"What the fu-..Anonymous!"
>'Yes, mother?'
>"Anonymous, did the cable guy come by while I was in the bath?"
>'He did.'
>"WELL WH-..Anonymous, my sunshine~ Why didn't you let him IN?" Mom says clutching the 'sorry we missed you' notice as small fires pop up in the living room
>'You told me never to invite strangers in, Mother.'
>Mother's right eye begins to twitch and she speaks through clenched teeth
>"Shhhhhweeet.Heart. The cable technician is different. Mother NEEDS her korean soap operas!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"These spring evenings are so lovely, don't you agree, sweetie?"
>"Do you want to join mommy for a cup of tea in the castle park?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh, another bottle gone?"
>'Mom, I think you and Auntie are singlehandedly keeping Hawaiian Tropic in business.'
>'..'Singlehandedly'.' Mom murmurs
>'That's it!'
>"No, I'm pretty sure whatever is 'it!' is something lewd that a regular son wouldn'-"
>[Amazonian mom sad eyes]
>A short while later you find yourself the one bathed in tanning lotion
>"There~, now your arms wont get tired because you'll be using your body instead!"
>'..It's barely like 74 outside.'
>"Hush and oil mommy up."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh my, you make for an adorable human colt, Anonymous."
>'I am quite capable of walking, thank you.'
>"Mmm no." She says levitating him alongside her
>"Twilight, Anonymous will be staying here at the palace with Luna and I."
>"I trust you have no qualms with this?"
>[Hypno toad stare]
=======================================================================================================================================
>"R-right there, yessss~"
>"Oh you do that like a pro, don't stop now."
>"Mmmm yeah, show mommy how to use those things."
>Two guards stand outside the princesses chambers while her son gives her 'bellyrubs'
>One turns to the other to say something but is interrupted by him
>'Trust me, it's best just to assume it's only bellyrubbing going on in there.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"..What do you think, Anonyous? Run a comb through it once or twice or just let it be?"
>'Once over with a comb couldn't hurt since it's behind your regalia all the time.'
>"You don't think it makes mommy look tough and marely, though?"
>'Is that what you're going for, mom? My dainty princess mom who eats her cucumber sandwhiches with little princessy bites?'
>"M-maybe."
>'Watch out, Brawny paper towel mare, you've got competition.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Principal Celestia?"
>'Not now, Twilight, Anonymous is showing me the level select cheat for Super Contra.'
>"Y-you know that only works for the japanese version, right?"
>Mom sighs and sinks in her principal'ing and not for gaming chair
>'Sweetie, let mommy get back to you, there's a bug in the office.'
>"Ha, it's Twilight, isn't it?" rings crisply thru mom's headset
=======================================================================================================================================
"Mom how did you get your self wrapped up again?"
>"MMMHHFPH"
"Oh sorry."
>Anon takes the ball gag off.
>"What are you doi- I mean thank you sweetie."
"No problem, mom."
>"It's a shame I am tied up. It would be horrible if someone would take advantage of me."
"Good thing I'm here."
>Anon unties his mother.
>"Uh- Thanks Sweetie."
"No problem love you."
>Thus continues the escapades of sexually oblivious Anon and his lustful mother.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon decides to give online dating a try.
>Makes an online profile but has a vague or generic profile pic so that no one can tell it's him based on it.
>It's a dick pick.
>One night he logs in and sees he has a message, pic very much related.
>Without letting on who he is he chats online with her and discovers she is very lewd and kinky, almost her polar oposite of how she is in everyday life.
>Accidentally calls her "mom" in one of their chats.
>She thinks it's some kinky role play and goes with it.
>Turns out to be inctedibly hot for both of them so they continue including it in their online chats.
>Anon still hasn't said who he is but agrees to a date with her because they connect so well online together.
>She is surprised to see him at the restaurant she is meeting her date at.
>Anon finally explains the whole thing and says he understands if she wants to call off the date.
>They decide to continue with it anyway.
>Dinner, movie, going home together.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"M-mom?" You say, barely becoming coherent out of the state of sleep
>'Shhhh, it's too early for you to get up, sweetheart, go back to sleep.'
>Mom gently pushes your head back down into her bust
>Mmmmm that mom-in-the-morning smell-, I mean no, lewd! Wrong!
>"Mmpph mom you know I luh you buh thish ish a bit much."
>'It is NOT~ Now, lie back down with mommy.'
>"..What the hell am I WEARING?" You say examining a chin strapped infants hat and bib.
>'Oh hush, you.
>Mom kisses you on the lips and closes her eyes, tightening her vicegrip on you and making sure to sandwhich your morningwood between her thighs
>She hums blissfully and murmurs how you're the only man she'll ever need
>Not the worst way to start your Thursday
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom is super old school
>Only buys you clothes considered 'cool' from the baroque period to pre-industrial era
>"Lulu wait until you see the dashing new clothes I picked out for Anonymous."
>'Sister, we hardly believe the clothing in question can be described as "new".'
>"Nonsense. Anonymous, sweetheart, come show your Aunt the debonaire get-up mommy picked out for you at Fancy's Haberdashery."
"Ok, mom, should I jig on out or riverdance in this?"
>"Anonymous B. Handsome, those clothes are the pinnacle of fashion for the distinguished young gentlemen, you should appreciate them more."
>You walk out in your itchy highwater pants and clunky frankenstein shoes
>Your Aunt immediately sits upright and fastens a glare on your mom
>'He cannot attend school like this, sister.'
>"I happen to think it's a very nice look on him, Luna. A refreshing break from those other boys his age with there eh..dope fly stupid fresh rapper wares."
>'Anonymous, you may disrobe from that nightmare now, we shall be taking you shopping for clothes.'
>Auntie to the rescue
>"I'm still buying that for you, Anonymous. You can atleast wear it at formal events."
"Like the box social and welcoming back the boys from the great war, mom?"
>Your Aunt giggles
=======================================================================================================================================
>"As I live and breathe; Prince Charming is up before noon?"
>'Verily thou art an imposter, have at thee and disclose the location of our dear nephew at once, fiend!'
>"Morning, bro!"
>What the eff
"Shiny?"
>"Yep. Your mom invited us over for breakfast."
>"P-PEETZER! *ahem*..We we're going to wake you, but your mother advised us against it." Cadence says
>"Oh it would've been awful." Mom quips
>"You should see him in the morning-, he's like the mummy. If the mummy was my cute grumpy little ray~"
>'Thou art most welcomed to join us, nephew, though uh, we are afraid you must take your seat at the foal's table.'
"Foals table?"
>"PBBBBT BLAHBLAHBLAH LALALAL [RANDOM INSANE BABY MAGIC]"
>A blast of magic whizzes by your face as you turn around to behold the kiddie table
>With your new cousin McFlurry
"Oh. Joy."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"I-I'm sorry I ruined our day at the waterpark, sunshine."
>'Pbbbt, who cares. Bunch of prudes with their 'ma'am, there are small children here' BS.'
>"You don't think my swimsuit violated their dress code, do you?"
>'Whaaat? No, not even. You're practically wearing one of those 1920's bathing gowns, gosh.'
>"Oh, my loving boy, you always know just what to say. Tell you what, why don't I make some of my signature sunbreeze's and we have our own special day out back in the pool?"
>'Your signature sunbreeze's that are 99.999% gin and .1% juice, mom?'
>"I'll never tell."
>'Go easy on me, I'm still a lightweight compared to you and Auntie.'
>"My sweetie is gonna take a navel shot~, my sweetie is gonna take a navel shot~"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"What the fuck, mom."
>Your mom and aunt prance around in their new bodies with all the enthusiasm of girls their age
>'We wanted to surprise you but we messed up a spell~' She sing songs
>"We're going to Twilight's right now to see if she can fix this."
>'Booooring-, that's booooring, you're booooring..but you're cute.'
>She flaps her wings so that she's hovering at eye level with you and plants a quick peck on your lips
>"Mom.."
>'Carry me, Amonymous.' She says dropping into your arms and putting her arms around your neck
>"You have wings and magic still, mo-"
>'T-thou wouldst refuseth us, nephew?"
>You can't say no to those eyes
>So it's off to Twilight's with them in tow, no biggie, it's just you and your loli'd up mother & aunt, what're you gay?
>'Who caaares if people are staring, they're just jealous.' Mom says from your arms
>'BE NOT ALARMED, SUBJECTS, WE ARE RELATED SO THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM.'
>You sigh
>"..Thanks, Auntie, that's uh..that's sure to reassure the public that there's nothing weird or lewd about a grown man carrying two barely clothed girls around."
>She nuzzles the hand she's holding and gives a quiet coo of satisfaction
>"Ok we reaaally have to get to Twilight's so she can undo this before I grow to like it."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Recent ep had her all emotional remembering Twilight's early years as her protoge'
>She was actually emotional because she remembered Anon's childhood/school years
>"Mom, did you pack my snackpack?"
>'I thought I was your snackpack, honey.'
>[Billy Madison 'back to school' song]
>Ffwd to the present
>"Do you need a moment, Princess?" Twilight asks, seeing her mentor grow misty eyed
>'N-no, thank you, Twilight, I'm fine.'
>'It just hits hard now and again, my two little ones are all grown up and matur-'
>Anon bursts in, soaking wet and with a pocket full of bits
>"Momma, I got bored waiting so I fished some bits out of the fountain for the mechanical seapony ride out front but it's out of order and now I'm wet and still bored."
>Mom makes that 'I love you, but god DAMNIT sometimes' face
=======================================================================================================================================
>mom & auntie lounge around the house in boy shorts and half shirts
>you had to put up a 'no solicitors' sign when the goddamn jehova's witnesses kept coming back
>'Take a hike, asshole.' You say slamming the door
>"Anonymous, that was rude, maybe your Aunt and I are interested in where we're going after death."
>'Mom, he ran out of pamphlets about 10 visits ago, he handed you and Auntie a menu for a thai place downtown.'
>Your Aunt narrows her eyes as she examines her 'pamphlet'
>"We were beginning to have our suspiciouns, Nephew. 'Super Happy Golden Dragon Fun Buffet' would be quite an odd name for the afterlife."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"We trust thou art having a truly euphoric evening, m'nephew?"
>Your dear, sweet Aunt
>So trusting
>'Auntie..' You say, bringing a hand to stroke her cheek
>"Yes, my virile colt of the night?"
>'Auntie, did my mom tell you to wear that?'
>"She did, yes. Infact she was most enthused and adamant we wear it."
>You can picture your mom laughing her gluttonous ass off, BS'ing your Aunt that fedora's were 'verily hip and being with it'
>"So, my little batwing, the question stands: Wouldst thou join us for a night of enlightenment via our own intelligence?"
>Auntie somehow is way better at the moeblob eyes thing than your mom
>'Sure, but uh, why don't you let me wear the hat. It'll look good on me since I don't have my vape with me.'
>"Ha ha! Bully! A night out it is then!"
>'Say, Auntie, since mom was so excited about YOUR hat, wouldn't it be nice if you turned her crown into one?'
>"A wonderful idea, nephew!" She says nuzzling your cheek
>'Also, put some flames on her regalia, she'll love that.'
>You want to mess with my Aunt? We'll see whose laughing tomorrow, Princess Dorito-lord mom
=======================================================================================================================================
So there is no misinterpretation Anon is human everyone else is pony.
 
>Be Anon.
>It’s the grand galloping gala.
>You hate these things.
>You love meeting the civilians of Equestria and having genuine conversations.
>But what you hate is the nobles.
>All they talk about is how TERRIBLE the service is, and how disgusted they are that the commoners are allowed here, and blah blah blah.
>Sometimes you think they forget you grew up with most of these ‘Servants’.
>You really wish you could tell them off but you can’t.
>Your mother would NEVER hear the end of it, especially when the news papers hear about how ‘vile’ you were to a poor sweet noble who did no wrong.
>After away from them you head to your room.
>To your surprise you find the element of generosity inside.
>She is spread out across your bed when she saw you she looked you dead in the eyes and said-
>"I want your royal cock in me~"
>You had dealt with this kind of thing before.
>Mainly with nobles trying to get further in their power via you.
>They were the reason you learned about sex at nine and learned how mad mom can get when it comes to her ‘sunshine’ being violated by a mare twice his age.
>”You know all I have to do is yell and guards will storm this room in a second."
>You say blatantly.
>Her eyes go wide.
>"O-Oh, I'm s-so sorry Prince Anonymous." She quickly jumps off the bed "I'll leave right aw- *Click*" She stops at she hears you lock the door.
"But, you are a hero of Equestria."
>You begin to walk towards her taking your shirt off.
>You heard this helps unwind and Rarity definitely isn’t a noble trying to get ahead.
"You also saved my mom and aunt multiple times."
>Your pants drop next.
"I'd say you've earned a reward, right?"
>You say as you run your finger under her muzzle.
>"Y-Yes darling." She says moving into your hand.
>You smile.
"And you want the sun Prince's first time to be your reward?"
>You never did get the chance to find a pony who was interested through all the noble sluts.
>You begin to run a hand down her back as she mumbles 'first' lowly before answering.
>"I-I would much appreciate it if you would Prince Anonymous. You'd be my first as well."
>Good.
>She yelps as you rip her up and slam her on the bed, flank up and head down with a fist full of her pretty little mane.
>"P-Prin- AH!" She doesn't get to finish as you rip her head up the slightest so she can see you.
"If you call me 'Prince Anonymous' one more time, I'll pull out call the guards and let them have their have their way with you while you rot in the dungeons. Got it?"
>You get tired of everyone always calling you Prince Anonymous.
>You tell everyone, ‘call me Anon. No need for the Prince part.’ But they don’t listen.
>"Y-Yes Pr- I mean, Anon." She mumbles.
"Good."
>You say gently before slamming her head down chin first and ramming your cock into her pussy causing her to yelp in pleasure.
>You stay like that for a bit letting yourself get used to it before going to town slamming into her before jerking out just as fast.
>”Ah~ Ah~ Yes! Just like that darling! I’m yours to use!”
>You let out a few moans yourself feeling her tight pony pussy try it’s best to grab hold of your cock.
“That’s right- unf – you’re mine~”
>After a few seconds you feel her begin to orgasm but you don’t slow down.
>Huh, guess ponies really don’t last long.
>”Ah, how are you s-still going darling? Stallions don’t n-normally last this long do the-“ she stops as she realizes you’re not a normal stallion.
>You’re human, Equestria’s one and only, and nothing in Equestria has ever had sex with a human before.
>She begins to regret her decisions as she hits her next orgasm.
>She tightens as you start to ram harder and deeper into her.
>Her walls trying to grab hold of you so they can milk the seed they so desperately need.
>By now the mess once known as Rarity now has her tongue laying out, her mane is a mess compared to when you started.
>Eventually after 30 more minutes of you ramming Rarity to a pulp you finally feel like you’re about to cum.
>You lift her up and sit down on the bed before starting again as you lift her up and slam her down.
“You *huff* ready?”
>”Yes darling! Yes! Do it inside! Cum for me! PLEASE!” She begs.
>Slaming her down one last time you begin to shoot load after load into her painting her insides the same as her coat as her pussy clamps down and begins to milk you the best it can.
>After you finish you lay down snuggled up to a more than pleased ‘Hero’ passed out.
>Soon after you feel asleep too completely calm.
 
>Be the next day.
>Be Rarity.
>Be sitting at Sugar Cube Corner with the girls.
>Was hard to even get here after last night.
>You’ve been telling the girls everything.
>”There is NO WAY any stallion last longer than three minutes, let alone thirty!” She says wings extended. “Besides, I really doubt that you could not only get the Royal Sun Prince’s but his virginity too. He’s probably got mares -all over- him.” She says leaning back into her seat.
>Well buck you too darling.
>”Ah’ can settle whether or not Rarity here is lieing. Rarity look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Did you buck Prince Anonymous and did he last thirty minutes?” Applejack says sitting up looking at you.
>You do ad she ask and meet her eye before speaking.
“Yes, I went to his room, waited for him, he told me I was going to be his first as a reward and then we had sex for thirty three minutes.”
>You say with smugness that makes Rainbow cringe.
>Applejack simply sits back and covers the blush spreading across her face with her hat.
>”She’s tellin’ the truth.”
>The other girls jaws drop.
>All except for Twilight who doesn’t look surprised at all.
“Twilight darling, why aren’t you surprised dear?”
>She just raises her brow before speaking what should have been obvious.
>”Well I kinda knew him since I first became Celestia’s personal student and until I came here to Ponyville. Doesn’t surprise me he was a virgin seeing as he never seemed to show interest in any of the nobles and none of the other ponies dared go after him after ‘The day of the angered sun’. Plus he is a different species so him lasting longer than a normal stallion doesn’t surprise me.” She says as if it’s just common knowledge.
>You just realized something.
>You’ve been bragging about your sexual conquer over a stallion who Twilight was probably childhood friends with.
>Who she probably had a crush on.
“Oh, Twilight darling I didn’t realize you two were close, if I did I wouldn’t have… well you know.”
>Twilight just looks down jealousy written on her face.
>”It’s fine, we were just friends anyway.” She forces out.
>You feel bad for a bit but then it hits you.
“Well if you ever did want to be -more- than just friends, it -was- my reward for being a hero~”
>The girls go wide eyed for a bit completely silent except for Pinkie who was drinking a milkshake.
>The silence was broken when Twilight spoke up.
>”I think I left something in Canterlot.” She says rushing out of the building and towards the train station.
 
>Be Anon.
>You are doing your duty as Prince and meeting a few griffon ambassadors.
>They are honestly the most bearable ambassadors to deal with to you and you’re honestly interested in their people’s history.
>Although their up and coming general is kind of a dick.
>You miss Silver Wing, she was such a nice woman.
>You remember when you were younger declaring you were gonna marry her.
>You’ll never forget that.
>It was hearts and hooves day.
>You were a kid on a mission.
>”Oh, hello their young prince. How may I help you little one?” She asked as you walked up to her.
>You held up the little heart shaped card you made for her that night.
“Will you be my special somepony miss Silver Wing?”
>She takes the card and hides a giggle behind a claw.
>”Oh my, wouldn’t you want someone more your age dear Prince?” She asked still giggling.
“Nuh-uh, I want YOU to be my special somepony!”
>You declared with all your heart.
>”Well if you insist, yes I’ll be your special somepony.” She said to amuse a young you.
>You were so happy you hugged her.
>She just laughed and hugged back.
>At this point mom showed up.
>”Hello General Silver, hello sunshine, what are you two doing?” Mom asked in curious about why you were hugging the general this time.
“Silver Wing agreed to be my special somepony, and someday we’re gonna get married!”
>You said happy as can be.
>Mom giggled and Silver patted your head.
>”Maybe we should wait till you’re much older to get married, don’t you think Anon?” She said ruffling your hair.
“Mmm, okay!”
>The rest of the day you told everyone how you were gonna marry Silver Wing and some media outlets heard about it and thought your mom was doing it as a peace sign with the griffons.
>The griffons knew it was just you being you and after a speech so did everyone else.
>Those were good days.
>But now Silver is in retirement and this new guy thinks he has to have a stick up his ass to be a general.
>You hope he’ll learn soon that being general doesn’t bring unlimited power over everyone before it’s too late.
>Only time will tell, as your mom would say.
>”Hey um, Prince Anonymous. Long time no see” Twilight says walking up to you.
“Hello -Princess- Sparkle, how may I help you?” You say making sure she heard Princess.
>You always did kinda like Twi just never got the chance to talk to her much.
>Twilight cringes as she hears Princess.
>”There’s no need for the Princess part, Twilight will do.” She says scuffing the ground with a hoof.
“As long as you call me Anon.”
>You say as she catches on to your point.
>”Oh heh, sorry. Anyways, is there anyway we could talk alone?” She ask.
“Sure, let me just finish up here.”
>You say nodding towards the gryphons.
>”Okay, thank you.” She says bowing, then she catches herself again “Sorry.” she says with a blush then leaves you to your work.
=======================================================================================================================================
Years later, through some bass ackwards loophole in royal law, Anon's past suitors all try to lay claim to his proposal
>"YOU CUT IN LINE, I BREAK YOUR SPINE! IRON WILMA WILL KEEP THIS BULL'S GAINS SAFE!"
>'Njet, Moo Woman, Prince Handsome Green will father Irma's hatchlings and restore Griffonia economy.'
>"Both of you put a cork in it before I turn this place into a buffet of steak & drumsticks." Dragonlord Ember huffs blushing slightly
 
>Be Anon.
>When you were younger you flirted -a lot-.
>It didn’t matter and when you hit 13 you stopped and calmed down as you had to start studying more to be a proper Prince, meaning you didn’t interact with people outside of castle staff.
>Mom never thought much of it.
>Some of the girls you flirted with even laughed it off like Silver Wing or Garuda.
>Others closer to your age got flustered, like when the old Dragon Lord brought a dragon around your age for ‘Training’.
>You think her name was Burner, or Ember or something.
>Heck you even flirted with Noble children like Fleur.
>Although mom did put some ponies off limits.
>They were her students.
>Though that didn’t stop you with Sunnyset or Twilily willy~
>Twilight always did get embarrassed when you called her that.
>That and she would tell mom and you’d get scolded.
>Oh well.
>You always did wonder what happened to Sunset though, you always did miss her even if she wasn’t as fun to tease…
>But now that’s behind you.
>It’s not proper for you to do that as a Prince of the sun.
>You must be respectable and set a example for Equestria.
>Right now you are spacing in for your mom for the first time as a speaker for Equestria.
>You are to meet the new dragon lord and talk out a way to continue peace between your people.
>Supposedly they want more land but they’d be taking vital parts of a current Equestrian trade rout.
>You wait in the day court for the dragon lord to arrive.
>You look over at a gaurdsmare and notice her looking over at you nervously every so often.
>Her hind legs are crossed and her tail wrapped close against her rear.
>Poor darling.
“Guardsmare.”
>She turns and salutes her legs still crossed.
>”Yes sir?”
“Is there a issue? You appear to be standing oddly.”
>”N-No sir!” She stutters out.
>You think for a moment on what her issue could be before it hits you.
>Poor dear, it’s alright everyone does it.
“Sweetheart if you must pee you may go use the restroom. I’m sure the fifty other guards can protect me if need be.”
>”Uh… I mean! Yes! I must use the bathroom, I must um… pee sir.”
“You may go then. Take your time.”
>”Thank you s-sir!” She says wasting no time.
>You wonder why she did not just request to use the bathroom?
>After a bit more waiting you felt as though the breakfast you had wasn’t agreeing with you and you had to use the restroom.
>You had informed the guards to request the dragon lord to wait a bit if they showed up.
>Sure enough on the way back you can hear they DID show up.
>They sound female but are not amused by the wait.
>This will take a lot of talking.
>As the guards open the door she hears and her rant goes on you.
>”Princess Celestia! You request my appearance and when I’m here you’re- … you’re…” She trails off as her eyes meet you and you swear you hear her say something about hot.
>Is that Ember?
>Well you knew there was a new dragon lord but you didn’t expect a dragon you knew.
>Nevermind that, you have negotiations to deal with.
“I apologize for my absence. Something came up, I do hope I did not make you wait too long ma’am. I also must apologize as my mother could not be here, hopefully I may do.”
>She is still staring at you.
>”Y-Yeah…”
>Is… is she having a dragon seizure?
>Just continue on Anon.
“Well, we should get to negotiations then.”
>”Okay…”
 
>Be Ember.
>Holy flying fuck, you weren’t ready for this!
>You were supposed to just be dealing with a oversized pony god!
>Not this… this oversized sized lust god!
>He’s not even trying and you’re at a loss for words!
>This is supposed to be a negotiation Ember, not you getting your scales wet!
>”Well I believe there must be someway for us to have continued peace without changing the current border. You see as is now the border is right at a important trade route that- blah blah blah” He goes on as you space out again.
>-This- is Anon.
>The once young human that would always tease you when you were brought along during meetings when you were young.
>The one you got flustered at and always ignored his advances.
>Yet here you are, older, more powerful, and you’re so head over heels you can’t pay attention.
>When the tartarus did he get so hot!
>It’s only been, what? five years!
>…
>You bet if you offered him more land he’d let you ride his cock till you couldn’t-
>NO, bad Ember!
>Pay attention!
>You can’t show weakness!
>You zone back in to find him fanning himself.
>”Oh my, if I didn’t know any better I’d think my mother were trying to roast me with her sun.” He says wiping away sweat from his brow. “This blasted black suit doesn’t help either.” He says undoing some buttons and revealing some of his sweat covered chest. “Oh, you don’t mind, do you miss Ember?”
>Mother forgive me…
 
>Be Anon.
>Negotiations went wonderful!
>Ember was so reasonable!
>She didn't even want the land you were willing to offer.
>You did better than you expected.
>Mom even said she may let you do more negotiations.
>Although you do wonder what she was busy with.
>Possibly aunt Luna getting her muzzle stuck in the peanut butter jar again.
>She never learns, but you love her all the same.
>Right now you are just speaking with Raven Inkwell.
>She's mom's Secretary.
>She's also a very level headed pony to speak with.
>Being around your mother as much as she is she isn't really affected by the royal status.
>She'll tell you how it is downright not beat around the bush.
>That's exactly why you want her to accept your offer.
“Come on please~”
>”No Anon.”
“I'll increase your paaaay~”
>”Anon. No.”
“It's not THAT hard all you have to do is train somepony.”
>”Anon. I can't train somepony and help your mother.” She says kicking her hooves “Also, PUT ME DOWN!”
“But you're the only pony I know who can teach somepony to be as good as you, and mom keeps bugging me about getting a Secretary.”
>You say rubbing her cheek against yours.
>She bats her hooves against your chest trying to push you away.
>”FINE! Just put me down! This is embarrassing!” She says wiggling frantically.
“YAY! Thank you Inky!”
>You say pulling her into a tight hug before putting her down.
>”My name's not ‘Inky' also weren’t you put into training to act more prince like?” She says brushing down her fur and mane.
“I was, but that's around nobles. Not my Inky winky~”
>She sighs.
>”You know if somepony caught you calling me pet names they're going to think there is something going on between us right?” She ask working on her tail.
“Aww, would that be so bad~?”
>She glares.
>”Yes. It would be. The nobles would be angry and your mother would be furious.”
>You roll your eyes.
“Oh, she would not. She'd probably be happy you got a love interest and that I got a pony that wasn't after money and fame. Also, screw the nobles if they got a problem with you! Your my Inky winky, and if they got a problem they take it up with me.’
>This gets you a smile.
>”Whatever you say. But if I were you I'd be in a rush.”
“A rush? Why would I be in a rush?”
>”Because you've got a meeting with a noble in ten minutes.”
>Oh shit!
>You rush for the door to the hallway.
“Sorry Inkwell got to go bye!”
>You yelp running down the hall towards your room to get ready.
>Inkwell just shakes her head as she walks down the hall towards the royal court a grin plastered on her face.
>”He never changes.” She says to herself as she walks.
 
>Be Anon.
>After rushing to get dressed you are now speed walking to the dining room to meet the noble.
>Probably just another one here to tell you about how much they ‘Love' you and how different they are compared to other nobles.
>How they can say they love you and want to start a herd with you when they don't even know you still amazes you.
>You really hope it's not a stallion again…
>You’re pretty sure your restraining order against ‘Prince' Blueblood got through.
>Luna was a bit aggravated that you did that but after the you AND five royal guards told her about his… -extreme- love for you, she understood.
>What scared you the most was the details…
>As you make it to the dining room you peek through the door to be safe.
>To your relief it wasn't Blueblood.
>Welp, let's get this over with.
>Put on the princely facade.
>As you push open the door the two guards salute.
“At ease.”
>You say on instinct.
>No matter how many time you ask them not to salute you they do it anyway.
>You're pretty sure they do it to mess with you, mainly because of the smile and slight giggle they do when they do it.
>”Ah, prince Anonymous! I'm so happy I could have your time!” Fancy Pants says.
“I can always make time for the ponies of my mother's kingdom. “
>You say with the princely voice of gentleness as your mother taught you.
>’Ponies tend to be less threatened by royals who speak gently.’ She told you.
>Honestly with nobles like Fancy you wish you could throw away gentleness.
>He always comes for the same thing.
>”Mmm, well of course you can. Now I know you said no the first time but-" and here we go…
“Mister Pants. While I'm sure your superstore would be good and I am willing to give you a loan, but I can't just have a-"
>”I know what you're going to say but before you do, how about you look at this chart I made of the profits it would make!” He says shoving the chart in your face with his magic.
>To amuse him you look at it.
>The amount of bits that would be gained is very impressive, but that still doesn't change anything.
“Mister Pants, this is quite impressive but-"
>”I'm so glad you agree! So when can I begin construction?”
“Well you can't, you see we can't just destroy a-"
>”-and why not!? Its perfectly reasonable. It will bring in more profits and tourism to Canterlot.”
>You have to contain a sigh.
“Mister Pants, it would not be a good idea to demolish a park that has had great Equestrian history. Not only would we demolish history but also a place were thousands of ponies young and old come to visit. Isn't there anywhere else that you could place your store?”
>You ask for the hundredth time.
>”Well there is-"
“You're not putting it in my mother's garden.”
>”Then we could put it in the cour-“
“Or the royal court.”
>”Then no.”
“You could always put it on the outskirts of Canterlot.”
>”But nopony goes there. It wouldn't make anything.” He whines like a foal.
“Well if it's as good as you've made it out I believe ponies will come from miles away to shop there.”
>”Hmm, no. It would be to much of a risk!” He says standing up and walking to the door. “I must leave, but I will be back!”
>Oh dear Celestia please don't come back.
>Why can't he just go bug somebody other than you about this.
>You're pretty sure he bugged mom before he came to you.
>As he leaves you hear another pony enter.
>You turn to see none other than Twilight.
>”Oh, hello Mister Fancy Pants.” She says extending a hoof to him.
>A smirk comes to his face.
>”Oh, princess Twilight! You were just the pony I wanted to see!” He says shaking her hoof. “Oh but I must be somewhere, may I meet with you at your castle? Say next Friday?”
>”Oh, of course, I can always-“
>”Good I'll see you then!” He says walking away.
>Oh Twilight, you poor, poor, fool. If only you knew what you had done.
>She stands there confused for a minute before turning back and walking inside.
“Hello princess Sparkle. How are you today.”
>She cringes as she hears ‘princess’ again.
>”Please, just call me ‘Twilight' mister-" The words catch in her throat as her gaze rolls to you at the end of the table. “P-Prince A-Anonymous!” She mumbles.
“Please, Anonymous is fine. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. You have grown into quite the mare from what my mother has told me.”
>You say ignoring her surprised look.
>”Y-You too.” She mumbles before her eyes go wide. “N-Not that I'm saying you're a mare! Or that your mother has told me you're a mare! I mean that'd be kinda silly and-" She continues.
>Eventually you walk over and pat her on the back and she calms down.
“Twilight, it's okay. I understand you meant no offense. Now, what do you need?”
>She visibly calms down at your soft voice, but a blush is still visible on her face.
>”I was looking for princess Celestia. Would you know where she is?”
“Of course, she's in the royal court.”
>She deflates.
>”When will she be out?”
“About two hours.”
>You say looking at a clock.
>”Oh, okay. Thank you.”
“You are welcome, I will be on my way now. If you need me I'll be in my chambers.”
>You begin to walk away.
>”WAIT!” Twilight yelps nearly making you jump. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out. It has been awhile since we've seen each other.”
>You look at the clock on the wall again.
>You do have the rest of the day.
“Sure. Where would you like to go Twilight?”
>You see Twilight's ears pop up.
>”Really? You're sure you're not too busy? I understand if you have any work to do.”
“Twilight. Please. The only real work I must do is listen to nobles complain… honestly I've started telling them if they have a good enough idea I'd see if I could give them some bits.”
>She looks at you confused.
>”Can you do that?” she says her head tilted to the side.
“No, but can a noble who thinks I can come up with a good idea and be reasonable about it?”
>Honestly it's a surprise most of them can feed themselves, let alone think.
>”Why don't you tell them you can't do everything they think you can?”
“I have, they just go to my mother. If she tells them they come back to Auntie or me.”
>”Oh, well let's get going. I know just the place we can get something to eat.”
“Lead the way Twilight.”
>You and Twilight start walking down the hall and talk about random things.
>How her day was, her friends, Starlight’s studies, royal duties, nobles.
>Honestly a very pleasant pony to talk to.
>Kind of like a more nerdy Inky.
>You wonder how Inky is doing?
>Probably helping mom deal with paperwork like always.
>She works so hard, she really needs a break.
 
>Be Inkwell.
>Celestia ended day court early.
>You're scanning through law book after law book trying to find a loophole.
>Celestia, Luna, are going through old scrolls looking as well.
>You can't believe that noble whorse!
>”Inkwell, have you found anything?” She says in her false calm voice.
“No princess, I'm still looking though!”
>”Can't we just abolish this law sister!?” Luna says not even trying to stay calm.
>”No, if we do that she'll use it against us.” Celestia says quickly scanning through scrolls and throwing them to the side.
“Why is that law even a thing!?”
>Celestia sighs dropping a scroll she had been looking through.
>”Back during the time of the three tribes it was a way to ensure a heir to the throne. If a princess or prince couldn't find their special somepony by breeding age then any noble of opposite may demand claim via the current king or queen. Luna and I were safe as we weren't princesses until after we were twenty.”
>Seriously…
>You hate yourself -so- much for missing this until now.
>You've studied every law to protect the princess and even informed her of a few that could get her.
>But you forgot to study laws to help protect the thing that matters most to the princesses.
>You feel like a failure…
>All of the sudden you feel a wing wrap around you.
>Looking up you find Celestia.
>”It's okay, none of us had seen this coming.” She says holding you.
“But I should have. I should have done a bit more research instead of-“
>You are stopped mid sentence by a hoof to the muzzle.
>”Nonsense. You are a wonderful secretary and friend. It's not your job to protect Luna, Anon, and I from old laws that should've been abolished, but you have.” She says hugging you a bit tighter before releasing you. “Now, how's about we show Miss Fleur why you're the best secretary in Equestria!”
>…
>She's right, you are the best secretary in Equestria!
>You'll show that whorse who's boss!
“Yes ma'am!”
>You say as you continue reading through olden law books.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Greetings, Akhenonymous."
>'Priestess Sparkle, if you've come seeking entry into my harem, I'm afraid your request is in vain. You might make my mother and aunt jealous.'
>"Such a shame. Shall I deliver another plague?"
>'My mother and aunt were especially fond of you turning the pyramids into cakes last time, perhaps you can make the rivers and waters run red and be as wine?'
>"Only because I like you so much, Son King."
>A dark shadow is cast over the two
"AND SHE DID STRETCH FORTH HER HAND AND SHROUD THE LAND IN DARKNESS."
>'My apologies, Priestess Sparkle. I take it my mother has taken notice of your..interest.'
"AKHENONYMOUS, YOUNG DEMIGOD, GO TO YOUR TOMB."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Look, sunshine, isn't mommy like one of those big gator mommy's who carry around their young in their mouths?"
>'No, you are actually like a big giant horse carrying around her grown son.'
>"I know~ I do so enjoy the bond we have."
>'I'm not eating that dead wildebeest.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"It's a certain young Prince's bed time~"
>'N-no! I wanna stay up and watch South Pone!'
"Nay, Nephew, our evening programming line up consists not of this South Pone, but instead some of cinema's greatest horror films!"
>"Oh, alright, if you're all set out here, I'll leave you two to your scary movies. Night, sweetheart,*mmwah*"
>'W-what? N-no, mommy! I wanna go to bed now, I don't wanna stay up anymore!'
>"Oh? Well you'd better get on the Mommy bedtime express while there's space left."
>Mom wiggles her backside a bit
>You glomp on and hold around her neck from behind while hiding your face in her mane so you don't see Auntie's scary stories
>"My, mommy's little colt is getting so big and strong. I bet all the fillies like you~"
>'N-nuh uh!' You say blushing
>"Mommy was just teasing, now, say goodnight to Auntie."
>'Night, Auntie Luna, I love you, d-don't get scared out here by yourself!'
"H-ha! The notion that we, herald of the night, could be struck with fear is laughab-"
>The television set erupts with a bloodcurdling scream from some slasher flick's would-be heroine
"EGADS, LEATHERPONE! TRULY THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES!"
>Later in the night, you wake up and find your Aunt snuggled up to you
"Forgive us, nephew...w-we could not find sleep in our chambers..t-too many places for Leatherpony to hide.."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom chooses an elite guardsmare unit for Anonymous
>["My son really is the jovial, devil may care type. Perhaps knowing him out of the public eye and seeing him as a regular citizen will ease your nerves."]
>'Y-yeah, I know that's what the Princess SAID, Sky Dive, b-but we're going through the Prince's laundry right now...'
>A unit of guardsmares currently prowls about the Prince's chambers
>"Mirage, Mare, I'm PRETTY sure this counts as getting to know him better. Now quit hogging his underpants."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"-all have such odd names. It's like someone took out all the vowels an-, shit, Auntie, your servants are watching."
>'Ohohoh~ Yes, indeed, we often find delight in the names of our-..OH! *ahem* YOU DARE INTRUDE UPON YOUR LUNAR SCOURGE'S TEA TIME WITH HER NEPHEW?'
"A t-thousand pardons, Your Supreme Nightness, Lord Vader-nonymous..b-but the coffee cakes are ready."
>'..I sense a great disturbance in the force, as if one or more of said treats has fallen from the tray but was put back on..'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, sunshine, stop sulking, I'm sure you'll have fun at Auntie Moon's."
>'There's no cable, her neighbors are assholes, and everything is 'moon prison this, moon prison that'.'
>"Sweetie, it's just for a few days, plus, your Aunt really cherishes her time with you."
>As you and your mom touch down on the lunar surface you can see her bungalow/trailer
>And her neighbors
"DOTH MINE EYES DECEIVE ME? OH, SISTER, HOW HE HAS GROWN!"
>'H-hey, Auntie Moon.'
"Well, well, well. Look, Err, it's the talking monkey. Again."
'PREPARE TO KISS ASS, GREENBEAN'
>'..Ignignokt, Err.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>He needs to have friends his age.
>He cant make friends if i constantly shadow him.
>But what if he gets hurt?
>The guards can handle it.
>What if a guard hurts him accidently?
>Humans are so fragile.
>"Hey mom i brought the ice cream."
>What if he runs away from the guards?
>"Here guys i brought some for you too."
>"Thank you, my prince."
>What if he trips on the stairs?
>"Is mom..?"
>It could be hours until someone finds him!
>"Yes, she started the moment you left for the kitchens."
>Maybe a spelled bracelet would work, that way i could track him!
>"She worries too much."
>Oh but what if it's not fashionable and the other foals laugh at him!
>"I believe that's her job prince anonymous."
>Maybe a tattoo would work, we could pretend it's a cutie mark!
>"I wonder if she'll notice the chocolate on her face."
>Yes! Something to bond with the other foals over AND he wont be bullied over being a blank flank!
>"I see no chocolate my prince."
>Oh but what if they make fun of him for faking a cutie mark and he doesnt make any friends at all?!
>"You guys are awesome."
 
>Meanwhile, at Inkenstein's Lasting Impressions tattoo parlor
>"Ooh, look, sweetheart, this ones 'cool'!"
>"It's a little bee, but he's got a meean face! 'Grrr'."
>'..There's also a fuckhuge glittery, pink rose in the picture, mom.'
>"Pardon, Mr. Inkenstein, sir? Is it possible to perhaps swap the rose with a tank or flaming skulls?"
>The artist nods
>"See? Voila, not a problem anymore. Now, are you ready to get your cutie mark?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Oh shit, it's the end of year which means it's time for the yearly school camp trip.
>You have the choice to either bunk with mom in her cabin, Auntie's cabin, or share tent with a classmate. (It can be anyone you choose)
Wat do?
 
Ask if both mom and aunt can go into the same cabin and bunk with them.
 
This and fuck them both until the sun comes up.
>You will never have a sensual ridding session with mom in the morning before camp activities.
>You will never have anal with Auntie in the woods having the thrill of possibly getting caught.
 
>"It's OK Sunshine just go nice and slow into momma. I want to feel my sweet boy all the way inside me."
 
>ywn have your first time with your hot mom
>swn direct your gaze to the vanity mirror in her bedroom so you can see the two of you sharing in the sacred act of oedipal indulgence
>"Just. Like. That~."
 
>"Damn, man, look at poor Anon over at his mom & aunt's table."
>It's breakfast in the camp mess hall
>'I haven't seen him leave their sides this whole trip, bro.'
>"Imagine it, man. Being on this trip, with all the girls here, but stuck with your mom & aunt.."
>'Sorry to say, but better him than us, right?'
>"True."
>Anon sits between his mother and aunt, trying to have his breakfast
"Y-you know, not e-every m-MEAL needs to be like this?"
>His mother and aunt discreetly fondle his shaft and balls beneath the table
>"They do so, sweetheart." His mother says, kissing his cheek
>'Verily, a breakfast rich in protein is essential for the activity's we have in store for you, Nephew.'
 
"I lost my virginity in camp."
>"How? You stayed with your mom and Aunt the whole time."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom: On top, riding your dick while getting her titties suck. Her favorite memories with you were while breastfeeding. It's why she did it until you were 3 and a half
>Aunt Lulu: Anything, as long as it was strong and forceful, and lots of hair pulling. She can't get into it if it feels like you weren't giving 110%.
>Cousin Candy-Ass: Only on her "safe days" with no condom and lots of edging, so when you finally cum deep inside, you completely fill her womb. Unfortunately, the last time she calculated when her safe days was, she was off by one and you ended up with a new niece-daughter. (Shining thinks it's his.)
=======================================================================================================================================
>"My, you've such a way with words, Mr. Sentry, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on your offer to 'hit it and quit it'."
>A dejected Flash drags himself out of mom's office, later telling his bros his dick was 'too fire for her to handle'
>"..Fuck off with your busted ass. You dress like The Fonz fucked Zack Morris."
 
Meanwhile her dear son walks in for his daily lunch time with momma.
 
>Mmmph, so what did Flash want? Anon says looking up at his mother.
 
Celestia shoves his face back down an mutters
 
"He wanted to feel the sun on his face."
 
I guess he's not going to make it to P.E. after lunch
>"..'Please excuse my son from P.E., he had a big lunch'.."
>Coach Spitfire sighs and tosses the note, muttering "Oughta' send that boy my way sometime if he's got such a big 'appetite'.."
=======================================================================================================================================
If those milfs only knew how well taken care of Anon is already
>"Mmmm, nah, pass. Thanks, though."
>'W-what? This is literally a boy your age's dream come true, though!'
>"Some guys, yeah, but not mine. You're an ok bunch of lookers though, I heard Flash and his gang are into bangmaids."
>Anon's mom & aunt pull up
>"That's my ride, ladies."
>Mom rolls the window down just enough to peek out over the rim of her sunglasses
"Ooh, tough break, gals. I guess it's back to hitting up the produce dept. for tubers and skulking around the student parking lot after football games."
=======================================================================================================================================
>celestia begins shadowing anon at college
>disguises herself as a student
>enrolls in all his classes
>his roommate is swiftly transferred to another dorm, and replaced by a mare with a suspiciously familiar white coat and flowing mane
 
>Wassup nerd, I'm your new roommate.
Mom?!
>Mom? I ain't that old, fag! I just started here. Just like you
Oh my Jesus
>I got a few rules fuckboy! 1st pick up after yourself and 2nd, if I catch you jacking off (you better count me in~)
What? I didn't catch that last part.
>I said you better not let me catch you! It's obvious you're not getting any! (not while I'm around)
Oh this is gonna be a fun year....
>You bet it will be~
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon.
>Holy fuck the griffons can drink!
>It was just supposed to be a royal meeting they said.
>Simple in and out they said.
> They lied.
>Mom didn’t come with you as Twilight had some issue with a spell used the stimulate a ponies erogenous zone.
>Whatever that is.
>But as soon as you got their you realized that there was something you hadn’t accounted for.
>One, griffons aren’t ponies.
>Two, they never surrender.
>Three, they drink A LOT.
>Four, they never deny a fight.
>So when you and prince Veliky started to drink together it inevitably turned into a competition.
>Both of you knew who’d win, but Veliky still had his pride and he wasn’t giving up easy.
>But no matter how much drinking griffons naturally did, you had more of a alcohol resistance.
>So now here you are, your fourth mug of the hardest griffon brew and Veliky is on his last leg.
>The crowd of griffon and pony guards and royals cheering their home prince on.
>The griffons roar for Veliky to ‘Not be a fucking chick!’ as he begins to pass out unable to drink more.
>As he hits the table the guards and royals scream in cheers as the griffons pat Veliky on the back and drag him off.
>You raise your arms up as the cheers grow louder and you notice a dark mare next to you cheering you by name.
>Fuck it you’ll make a mares day.
>You grab her by the cheeks and pull her into a kiss causing the crowd to roar even louder.
>After releasing the mare you raise and wrap the other around her as you begin to chant.
“E-quest-tri-a! E-quest-tri-a!”
>The crowd picks it up and keeps going as the griffons laugh at the drunken fun, some of them even cheering too.
>The rest of the night is a blur, all you know is you made it home a mare in tow.
>You wake up your drunken sleep you begin to remember everything.
>Griffon drinking, cheering, mare in tow.
>You roll over to see what mare you got last night.
>Beautiful dark blue coat.
>A sweet ass if your hand getting lost in it tells you anything.
>-Really- nice mane.
You see a horn so she must be a unicorn.
>But if she’s a unicorn why do you feel feathers?
>You also remember going to sleep with wings wrapped around you.
>Drunkenloading.jpg
>Horn= unicorn
>Wings= pegasus
>Wings + horn = alicorn
>So you got a alicorn, nice!
>Wait.
>Alicorn + dark blue + amazing mane + nice ass=…
>Oh shit...
=======================================================================================================================================
>mom age regresses herself to follow you around at school
 
>Unfortunately it regresses her memory to somewhat.
>Knows anon is important to get but can't remember why.
>Keeps trying to jump his bones
>But she's in her bitch phase so she's being an ass about it
>Anon keeps trying to fight her off but his resistance is fading.
>His teenage mom is so fucking hot.
>Not to mention bedding her would make him the most popular guy at college.
>Luna seeing this regresses herself as well to protect her nephew from his mother.
>But Luna makes sure to retain her memories.
>But she forgot one thing.
>She was super horny in her college years
>Now she has to protect her nephew from his mother and herself
 
>"I tell you Luna, I don't know what it is but Anon is just doing it for me. You don't know if he has a girlfriend do you?"
"Sister, please I-"
>"No you're right, no need to finish that thought. It doesn't matter if he does because he'll drop her like a bad habit once he gets a load of me."
"Tia, you don't understand."
>"What is it then? Is he gay?"
"Wha- no! You're missing the point."
>"Oh good. For a second I thought I would have to work harder to bed him."
"He's your son you idiot!"
>She looks surprised.
"Now do you get it? You're his mother."
>She puts a hand on her chin and looks deep in thought.
>Finally, she gets it.
>"So he's into that kind of thing huh? Kinky... Tia likes."
"Oh for fuck's sake!"
>"I wonder if he'd be willing to switch it up every now and then and be the Daddy instead."
"Now listen to me you stupid nympho-"
>"He'd probably be willing to throw a bad girl like me over his knee for a firm spanking. I'm sure if you ask nicely he'd do the same for you too sis. I've seen how you loom at him too, and you know I don't mind sharing."
>She says with a wink.
>N-no, you must be strong for Anonymous.
>Is it warm in here?
>But it has been so long since you've had some companionship...
>When did your nipples and clit become hard?
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Sonata.
>You are at the principle’s office, alone.
>You’re used to being here but not without your sisters.
>She is just doing documents.
>You began to twiddle with your fingers.
>It’s been a week since the incident with the principle and her son.
>She didn’t saying, just stared at you.
>After that she left and so did you, not wanting her to come back with a knife or something.
>You pray that she doesn’t stab you here.
>”Sonata, do you know why I called you here?” She ask not looking up.
>Probably to be stabbed and have your body hidden.
“N-No ma’am.”
>Lier.
>”Hmm, well. It would appear someone has been fooling around with my son.” She says staring right through you.
>Yep, you’re going to be a dead siren.
“I-I’m sorry, it won’t happen again-“
>”The hell it won’t.”
>What.png
>”I’ve done my research on sirens and have a few questions for you.”
>Oh good, she researched how to cook you.
>”Is it true that sirens are a herd mating creature.”
>Well yeah, how else are we supposed to protect the rare male?
“Yes ma’am.”
>”Is it also true sirens have at the minimum 5 children per siren?”
>Of course, again, rare male.
“Yes ma’am.”
>”Good.” She says stacking the papers she had been fooling with.
>”Luna, please get the other two Dazzlings.” She says after pushing a button.
>Why is she asking you all this?
>Dear god is she going to kidnap and sell you and your sisters!?
>Your sisters enter the room and sit down.
>They both stay quiet knowing what you did.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon.
>You just watched your mom and aunt kick your cousin's and that old hag's butt in the faculty edition of the Friendship Games, and now you're on your way down to congratulate them.
>You see them take off their swim caps, letting their long flowing locks fall against their bodies.
"Way to go mom, auntie! You guys did great."
>"Thanks sunshine."
>She walked up and hugs you.
>You feel her still damp slightly cool skin against you.
>The front of your shirt and pants act like a towel and hungrily start to soak up tyhe water from your mom's wet swimsuit as you also feel her breasts compress against you.
>" It was all thanks to your cheering sweetie."
>She says kissing your forehead.
>"Indeed, it was your moral support that helped us win this day."
"Actually, I think you're just better."
>"Ahem..."
"Oh- uh, sorry Cadence. But they did beat you fair and square."
>"Yeah they did. But no need to rub it in squirt."
>She says messing up your hair.
>Your mom pulls away from you hug and sees the state of your clothes.
>"Oh no, I've gotten you all wet."
>She leans in close to your ear.
>"Just like you got your auntie and mommy with the thought of that reward you promised us if we won."
>She whispers.
>"I can't wait for our victory swim at our pool at home sweetie."
>She says cupping your cheek.
"Me too mom. Don't forget these swimsuits though."
=======================================================================================================================================
Here's one I pitched ages ago:
>Anon gets transported to equestria as an infant or very young child
>Spends a good few years as Celly's adopted son
>Somehow gets lost in the eqg universe, can't find a way back, and is adopted by Principal Celestia
>Some years later, princess Celestia finds him and tries to take him back.
>The two Celestias butt heads over who gets to keep Anon
 
>Be Anon
>"Listen here WHORSE, I was the one who cleaned him as a baby, laid with him up till he was nine and mourned him when I thought I lost him at eleven. NOT YOU! ME! He's my baby!" Princess Mom says.
>This has been going on for about a hour.
>"Well guess who helped MY baby get over YOU when you couldn't find him a couple feet outside a mirror! Who laid with him till he was fifteen when he cried for me not to leave him again! Who was there when he lost his first love! Me! Now crawl back through your stupid statue mirror thing and get back to your guard gangbang!" Principal mom yells back.
>Vice principal Luna and princess Luna finally come back popcorn in tow.
>"So, have we missed anything nephew?" Princess auntie ask.
"Nope, still haven't really tried to solve the problem like you two yet, just yelling at each other."
>You say grabbing some popcorn.
>You and the Aunties agreed on a every other week arrangement with all of you meeting for holidays in the pony land first then human next and so on like that.
>"-well he loves me more as much as I love him, and I'll prove it! He can have my virginity and I'll take his!" Principal mom says catching you off guard.
>"Not if I give him mine first!" Princess mom yells back making you scared.
>Aunties look at each other as moms fight over who's gonna fuck you where.
>"You have not taken our nephew yet?" Princess Luna ask.
>"No, I thought you did?" VP Luna replies.
>"We could not as we were on the moon."
>They both think for a bit then smile.
>Pony Luna lifts you with her magic walking you to VP Luna's room as VP Luna takes your pants off.
>"We wouldn't want them to fight over you like this now would we~" Pony Luna says.
>"No we wouldn't~" VP replies.
>"I'll take the face first, you take the rod for a ride first as a show of peace between our worlds~" Pony Luna says levitating you closer and nipping your neck.
>"Gladly~"
>This... really doesn't surprise you...
>VP Auntie always was touchy-feely with you.
>You could always stop her then.
>But now there's two, so you know there is no stopping them.
>Your day ended with a face full of sweet Pony pussy and a cock in a tight warm place.
>Your mothers were pissed when they found you but they could do nothing.
>The Lunas already won.
>They fucked you anyway to prove who was better with your dick though.
>Both of them lasted half the time as the Lunas.
>The end.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Are you sure this swimsuit looks good on me?"
"Of course mom, you look amazing!"
>"I don't know. I think I'm too old for something like this. I feel like everyone is staring at me."
"That's because you have a better body than any of them. The girls are jealous and want to be you while the guys want to be with you. Too bad none of them will."
>"Aww, thank you sunshine. But I know one guy who will get with me later on."
>She leans in and kisses your lips.
>"But for now, let's give them something else to be jealous of."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Ready for a full day at the beach with mommy, sweetie? Don't forget your floaties!
"I'm 24, mom"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom will never have a mid-life crisis and spend time with you and your female friends in order to feel young again
 
>Mom will never embarrassing in front of two of the seven most cutest girls while she is drunk.
>Her top will never "accidently" fall.
 
>"I need an adult."
>"Oh honey, I am an adult."
"Mom stop molesting my friends."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Momlestia seemed all too happy to give you the birds and bees talk when she saw the stain on your bedsheets in the morning.
>She eventually asked about this dream that made you feel funny.
>With some reluctance, you tell her you were visited by a beautiful alicorn.
>This piqued Celestia's interest and something suspicious seemed to be hiding behind her regal smile.
>You told mommy she was tall and leggy, had a long wavy mane, ethereal beauty, an air of ageless authority...
>and a rich blue coat.
>The sharp, abrupt sound of your mother's wings snapping shut broke you out of an emerging daydream.
>Celestia's smile and optimism: gone
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Prince Anonymous, a highly reputable source says you've apparently embraced a centuries old royal tradition, is that correct?"
>'It is, yes. I have recently began sharing a different, uh, more physical love with both my mother, and aunt.'
>"..I-I'm afraid I dont follow."
>'Yes, I know, why hadn't I done it sooner? They were my first crushes, and they've always been there for me. There love is a high like no other.'
>"I don't quite follow.."
>'It's hard to put into words. They just make me happy and I'd be hard pressed to find anypony else who could match their love for me.'
>"T-that's beautiful, your highness..but I was actually referring to your recent practicing of The Royal Canterlot Voice."
>'...Oh.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh no you don't, young man. You've always nursed from me before bed time."
>'I think I might be a little old for that now, mom.'
>"Nonsense, you can grab the hershey's syrup from the kitchen, but I want you in my bedroom now."
>"..My growing young man still needs his vitamins and a full 8 hours of sleep."
>'Implying I'll get any sleep with you..'
>"Oh you are just going the right way for tickles right now, aren't you, mister?"
>'M-mom, no-, AHAHAHA!! S-STOP, NO! HAHA, DAMNIT!'
=======================================================================================================================================
Do you think there's a set schedule in place for relations with Mom & Auntie?
>"I'm not giving you my friday, Lulu."
>'Sissssterrrr!'
>"I'm sorry, but the schedule is in place for a reason, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain without Cadence trying to spirit him off school grounds while we're occupied."
>'..We were beginning to grow suspcious of the great many pizza deliveries to the school as of recent.'
 
>Mom and Auntie switch every other weekend.
>"I'm not giving you my friday, Lulu."
>"I'll let you have any day during my weekend, please Tia!"
>"Fine, but you owe me later. Also why do you want him so much?"
>Hours later.
>You and Auntie Lulu are fighting in Marvel vs Capcom 2.
>"Ha I win again nephew, I am the arcade fighter queen!"
"Hey no fair your ass was in the way most of the time."
>"Excuses excuses. I didn't hear you complaining while riding you."
=======================================================================================================================================
>SciTwi magical buffoonery leaves them as teens with DFCs
>16 year old Anon has to take care of them until spell wears off
>Memories are very hazy, but they know Anon is very important to them
>And being teens with raging hormones, they'll try their best to be the target of Anon's affection
 
>Anon sits bored out of his mind outside the changing room in the young miss's section
>"I swear, if it's just MORE short shorts and tops that expose your cute tum-..midriff's, we are NOT getting them."
>'Anonymous, sweetheart, don't you want to witness your mother and aunt blossom into beautiful young women for the first time?'
>Aaaand the woman operating the changing station just heard all of that
>"Heh, my uh, girlfriend is really into role playing."
>'Mmm, I definitely have to try out yooour body in this body, my sunshine~'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"You're both still young ladies with plenty of living and loving left, mom."
>'Anonymous, sweetheart, please, i-it's better we have a contingency in place now than worry later.'
>'Verily nephew. Given that since you entered puberty, you've shared a bed, and so much more with you, we are confident you shall accomplish this with as much ease.'
>"Alright.." You say plopping down on the couch as your mom and aunt join you with their manila folders
>"Uh oh, you guys really did your homework here, huh?"
>Mom sits down on your left as Auntie takes the right
>Auntie leaning her head on your shoulder, as mom puts those big amazon legs across your lap
>They both kiss your cheek
>'We think you'll be pleasantly surprised with our selections.'
>"So long as you didn't include any girl who has now or EVER been, a magical horse thing, or extra-dimensional demon, it's fine."
>They exchange nervous glances
>"..Oh goddamnit, you guys.."
=======================================================================================================================================
I want us to have an account on pornhub where we upload 'home videos'.
>"I'm so excited, sweetheart!"
>'Mhmm, me too, mom. I'm really glad we did this.'
>Anon and his mom prepare to watch the video they made of themselves having sex
>"..Anonymous, sunshine, w-why is the video thumbnail a still from our trip to the zoo last week?"
>'Huh? Oh SHIT! I must've grabbed the wrong memory card, ahh fuck, man!'
>"Who has the camera right now?!"
>'...Mom, Auntie took the camera with her today.'
>'She's-'
>"Volunteering to teach Ms. Cheerilee's class while she's sick..."
>[meanwhile, at Canterlot Elementary]
>"Settle now, children. In lieu of arithmetic, I've a special treat in store for you!"
>"I have a video of a recent trip my nephew, my sister, and I, made to the zoo!"
>The class erupts with raucous applause
>Anything but math
>Ah, youth
>"Haha, then let us begin!"
>Auntie hooks up the camera to the classrooms television
>After some initial tracking and static, a very clear image comes into focus
>A rather thick thigh with a sun tattooed on it
>["I'm ready, my sunshine."]
>"EGADS, SISTER!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom's a natural pink
>Only has the rainbow mane in the public eye
>Occasionally performs a spell to either hide her wings and horn so she can intermingle among the populace
>Uses the opportunities to talk up herself and her son
>"Mmm, good afternon, subj-, uh, gals. Say, isn't that Prince Anonymous one hot hunka' bipedal sexy?"
>'You said it, sister, I want him to drag that sac across my muzzle, get a real snoot full of that musk, oh luna..'
>"I beg your pardon! That's my s-"
>'Why stop there, mare? Have you seen those canines? Mmmph, f-fuck, I want him to bite the scruff of my neck while he ruts me without mercy!'
>Mom hurries away before she hears too much and starts to get ideas
=======================================================================================================================================
>"W-what do you mean we shall be 'fine'?! Do you not think Anonymous will notice this change?"
>'I-it's only for the next 24 hours, Luna, we may as well use this time to formulate a plan to avoid him for the time being.'
>'He's barely coherent upon waking, anyway.'
>Speak of the devil, and he will appear
>The two """sisters""" are startled by a loud yawn followed by the sounds of cracking knuckles
>"zzZz...hnnnngh...f-fuckin..stairs..mmm, morning mama, morning auntie."
>Anon plods by in his zombie like state
>He pats their flanks in passing
>"W-whoa....you two been working out?"
>'Eh, y-yes, my sunshine, mommy and auntie have been eh..l-lifting?'
>Anonymous, still chinese eyed, nods as he walks off towards breakfast
>"Cool. Man, I must not be fully awake yet because your voices sound deep as fuck, too."
=======================================================================================================================================
I want dad to show me pictures of Uncle Artie in his edgy phase
>"Oh it was hilarious, Anonymous. Your uncle called himself 'Punished Artemis' and donned an eye patch."
>"Threatened to plunge the palace into 'eternal darkness' if the chef's didn't switch back to hay tendies."
>'W-WE DID NOTHING OF THE SORT, ANONYMOUS, OUR BROTHER IS TELLING FIBS OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL AS PER USUAL!'
>"Haha! I mean look at those boots, Anon!"
>Dad levitates the photo album up for all of you to see
>"W-who does he think he is, Gene-icorn Simmons? Hahaha!!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Doesn't realize she's bringing you a plaything, not a girlfriend
>You're supposed to just fuck her and toss her aside (With a condom, of course. She doesn't deserve your seed.)
>Celestia makes sure there's no evidence of you two together, so you can still pursue more desirable girls.
>As a backup measure, Principal Mom threatens Twi to change her grades to make sure she doesn't get valedictorian and kepp her from getting into a good college is she doesn't keep her mouth shut
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous! What is this?!"
"A Veggie tray mom."
>"I can see that, would you mind telling me why it is in the place of the desert cart."
"It's healthier mom. I've been seeing you wolf down whole cakes in a sitting since I can remember. That can't be good for you."
>"Sunshine, I'm an immortal sun goddess. A few extra sweets won't do much to me."
"I'm not taking any chances, now eat."
>She hesitantly picks up a carrot and spins it in her magic, almost examining it.
>You however pick up a piece of cake you got from the kitchen and take a forkfull of it.
>"And what's that?"
"Hmmm? Oh, my cake."
>She looks disappointed at you and almost betrayed.
" What? I didn't say no cake period, it just needs to be in moderation."
>She is pouting at this point.
"Okay, one bite. But that's it."
>You hold out the forkfull of cake to her.
>She smiiles and leans down to your plate and swallow the entire piece in one mouthful.
"Hey!"
>She just smiles with crumbs still around her mouth.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Grrr, aren't I like a mommy gator carrying you around like this, sunshine?"
>'No, no you aren't. More like a mare who performs size spells on herself to put me in these specific situations.'
>"Mmm it sounds like someone wants to do more hatching roleplay."
>'Please don't sit on me again, mom.'
 
Ask her to RP a big bird so she can blanket you in her soft feathers.
 
>Mom goes full-swan mode at times
>Lowers her head, spreads her wings and angrily honks at mares giving you the eye
>Can be distracted with bread crumbs
=======================================================================================================================================
>"So, with that in mind, does anypony have a strategy in mind for reducing the impending cake tax?"
>'Maybe stop eating the all a hundred at a time.'
>"Anonymous, hush, mommy's in a grown up meeting."
>Anonymous shrugs and goes back to playing with his hotwheels while strapped to his mothers front in an adult sized papoose
>"Ehh, My Princess?" One of the nobles speaks up meekly
>"P-perhaps the young master is on to something with th-"
>Mom gives him the stare she gives you
>The one that means 'Boih you DO NOT want me to get out of this chair'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Sister, for the life of us we cannot fathom how you with your hips for days are unable to move to a beat."
>'Foreplay has never been our strong suit, but Anonymous and I get there just the same.'
>"Be that as it may, trust us when we say he WILL enjoy this. He has illustrated as much with us both verbally and physically."
>'No one likes a boastful betty..'
>"We are just saying. *Ahem* Now, follow our lead."
>"Our milkshake entices all the breeding age males to our property, and they declare it's superior to yours; well said, it's better than yours, we can instruct thee, but we must ask a fee~"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, your Aunt and I found your alfalfa and ate it but I don't think it was alfalfa at all and do you have any more?"
>'S-sister! Our hooves! They are waaaaay down there! Are we very high up, or are they simply very far away?'
>"Luna, that-"
>'TIA, SHUT UP, WE LOVE THIS SONG.'
>"I think that's construction outside.."
=======================================================================================================================================
Night, Auntie
>"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, do you know how loved you are~"
 
>Having auntie Luna tuck you in every night.
>"It's time for bed little one."
>"Now up you go."
"T-thanks auntie."
>"Anything for my beloved nephew. Sweet dreams~"
>Having mom wake you up with good morning kisses.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Have you been keeping up with your swordfighting, sweetie?"
>"Yes, mom."
>"Those lessons are very important, Anon. You'll never rule Equestria if you don't take them seriously."
>"I know, mom."
>"You need to be able to outfight me by the time you're a grown-up, like I did with me and Aunt Luna's mother."
>"I know, mom. I'll be ready."
>"I mean it. I won't hold back just because you're my son. Equestrian tradition is you take the throne by slaying the sitting ruler in combat. You better be ready to work for it."
>"Ma...what if I don't wanna rule Equestria?"
>"You take after your aunt Luna? That's fine, but I'll have to adopt a child who's prepared to strike me down when the time comes. Do you know what that means?"
>"I'm gonna have a new brother or sister?"
>"Yes! It will be wonderful!"
 
>Anon loves his mother too much to kill her and also too much to go against years of tradition.
>He is content to live simply as a Prince if it means his mother stays alive.
>Celestia adopts another child who she also has trained in combat.
>Anon continues to train as well despite claiming he isn't interested in the throne.
>When his adoptive sibling shows interest in killing Celestia, Anon tells them they need to go through him first.
>They fight and Anon shows he has no qualms killing an adoptive power hungry sister or brother.
>When Celestia asks about the fight he simply says they weren't strong enough.
>This repeats several more times until Celestia changes the law/tradition because of how many adoptive children of the royal family end up dead.
>Anon has earned the respect of Celestia and the fear of the entire castle.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"G-good morning, um, my sunshine..."
>'Nephew, darling, how wonderful of you to join us.'
>....What happened now.
>'W-why do you ask such a thing, my d-..uh, precious star of the lunar deity?'
>My Aunt's olde english is a little hard to get down, huh?
>"Oh w-well, um, what happened is-"
>Twilight screwed up another spell on them
>"Yes. M-my sweetheart."
>Hmm. WELL. I guess my Mother and Aunt explained to you your 'duties'?
>'We are quite aware of them, yes.'
>"D-do they really do that for you?"
>Yes. Without question.
>"Please be g-gentle..."
>'You shall practice no such gentle ministrations on me, darling. Really get in there and work out those kinks.'
>"R-rarity?"
>'Darling, please, it isn't everyday The Prince himself gets to comb our manes.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>She rolls around in your work uniform so the "hussies" at your job will know, by scent, you already have a girl to come home to
 
>alternate-universe mom has a less physical but more direct way of deterring any would-be suitors for her son
>"SO, ladies, what have we learned here today?"
>Mom leans forward into her desk, adopting a curious expression
>"Ms. Dash, how about we begin with you? What did you learn today?"
>'..Y-you didn't raise a son who'd bang the first girl to tell him he's 'awesomely awesome'..'
>"Ha ha, correct! Ms. Rarity? Something you'd like to share as well?"
>'I shall not leave my phone number in lipstick on the cuffs of your son's clothing..ever..'
>"Wonderful, darling! You take simple directions so well! Incase your fashion career never takes off, you'll always have a future in fast food."
>"Who'd like to go next? Ms. Applejack, did I hear a hoot and or holler coming from that way?"
>'..Ah learned yer son has a braiht future that don't involve no farm laborin' or shotgun wedding.'
>"My word, whomever said it was easier to teach sea sponges calculus versus getting teenage girls to take directions had obviously never met this bunch of geniuses.."
>"Ms. Pie? Will you continue the string of right answers or predictably fail and blurt out some random manner of autism?"
>'..I learned your son's 5 year plan doesn't involve developing diabetes or schizophrenia.'
>"Vunderbaugh. Ms. Sh-..what the-..where'd your stuttering-..Ah, there you are."
>"Oh, there there, dear, no ones in trouble here. We're just having some girl-talk, that's all?"
>'T-then why is the door loc-'
>"*ahem* Ms. Shy, what have YOU learned here today?"
>'T-that your son c-could *sniff*..do m-much better than a b-boring girl who smells like a k-kennel..'
>Mom gently pats Fluttershy's head
>"Good girl."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, sunshine; 6 letters, an intimate, physical courting between mother and son."
>'Coitus.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"'...B-but, sweetheart, I'm your MOTHER..' She stammered."
>"'I can't think of a more wonderful, deserving, and beautiful mare I want to share this with, mom.' He replied."
>"'Then don't keep me waiting, my sunsh-'"
>Anon leans into his mothers bedchambers from the doorway
>'Going to bed, night, mom.'
>"N-NOTHING!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>tfw your birthday is just an excuse for mom to commission a bunch of decadent and giant cakes
 
>"Oh no..." Mom states nonchalantly
>"Oh, darn, like...dang, sweetheart."
>The living room is literally cake
>Cake sofa
>Cake chandelier
>Cake paintings of still life
>"Well, there's no point in wasting food, what with-, LUNA, NOW!"
>You just sit there shaking your head, eating the one cake that was yours
>Mom & Auntie materialize into Kirby Princess horses and hypernova inhale anything that isn't bolted down
=======================================================================================================================================
AfterHours
 
-Celestia-
>You walk into your private study and can’t help but feel mildly annoyed.
>Day court ran smoothly, so smoothly in fact that you were able to finish all your work and see everypony you were supposed to see earlier than expected.
>So early actually that you had an hour free time before the next item on your agenda, which happens to be dinner.
>Normally this wouldn’t irritate you, and honestly you could use more days like this.
>What is vexing you is that Anon is in Ponyville with Twilight furthering his studies, AND he took his laptop ad music player with him so she could take a look at them.
>It just figures, on a day you could get a chance to spend some extra time with him, he’s out of town.
>And he took his music with him.
>You deeply enjoyed listening to his music.
>It helped you feel connected to him by listening to his favorite songs.
>You sigh and sit down in your favorite overly plush chair.
>Instantly, you relax as you feel your body sink into the pillowy soft comfort of your reading chair.
>You look onto the table next to you and see the latest book you’ve been trying to read when you have free time.
>You also see two framed pictures.
>The first is of Anon and you in this very chair, cuddled up together under a blanket.
>He couldn’t be more than five when it was taken.
>You smile at the memory.
>He always loved how the chair felt, and there were many a times you found him sleeping in it waiting for you to finish your day.
>The other was him all grown up with his arms around you and Luna, while you all smiled at the camera.
>Just look at him.
>In one picture, he’s your little foal, snuggling up next to his mommy.
>The other, he’s a fully grown stal-
>…
>Man, a fully grown man.
>A man that probably doesn’t need his mother anymore.
>Not like when he was younger and he followed you everywhere.
 
>He’s definitely not your little shadow anymore who will come running if he gets a skinned knee.
>You remember the first time that happened.
>You stand up and walk to the window that overlooks the garden.
>He had to have been a little over a year old, no more than a year and a half old at most when it happened.
>You close your eyes and let that old memory wash over you.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>It’s such a beautiful day, you just had to spend it outside with your little ray of sunshine.
>He is confidently running on unsure and at times wobbly legs.
>A bright smile is painted on his face as his laughter fills the air.
>You find joy in his happiness and are smiling as well.
>In all your years and in all the world, you have never found anything so beautiful as a happy child.
>There was no falseness or ulterior motive hidden behind their joyful expression.
>When your son was happy, that was it.
>And his happiness was contagious.
>He brightened the day of anypony who he met, not unlike how your sun literally brightens the day for everypony.
>”Mama!”
>He calls out while running around you giggling.
“Yes, mama’s here my little prince.”
>He looks up at you, stomps his feet in excitement, and his giggles increase before running off again.
“Uh-oh, mama’s gonna get you!”
>You crouch into a predator like position and slowly start to chase him, making a stomping noise with each step.
>His laughter gets even louder as he runs behind a tree to hide.
“I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna get ya!”
>You repeat as you follow close behind and chase him around the tree several times.
>After a few rotations around the tree, you stop and let him keep running.
>You turn and wait for him to run right into you.
>It doesn’t take long before you see him round the base and he shrieks in surprise and delight as he sees you waiting for him.
“Gottcha! Oh mommy’s got you!”
>You say as you pick him up with your magic.
>You lean in and start peppering him with kisses.
>He continues to laugh and put his arms up in a vain attempt to protect himself from the onslaught of your attack.
>”Down-down.”
>He says with all the seriousness a toddler can muster.
“Alright, down-down. You can run around more.”
>You slowly lower him down, watching as he kicks his legs in excitement.
>He really wants to hit the ground running it seems.
>You set him down and he’s off like a shot.
>As you see him run and explore, you can’t help but wonder how you were so lucky to have him.
>You’ve had many students in your life that you’ve mentored.
>Some of the younger ones even mentally slipped and accidentally called you ‘mom’ out loud.
>But none of them felt like it does with Anonymous and you.
>As if on cue, he runs up to you and hugs your leg.
>”Mama!”
“Yes, I’m mama.”
>You chuckle, and bend down to kiss his head.
“Are you thirsty sunshine? Maybe hungry?”
>”Juice!”
>He answers while mimicking drinking from a cup.
>You smile lovingly in response.
“Okay sweetie. What kind of juice do you want?”
>”Apple!”
>He puts his arms up and follows close by your side as you make your way towards the castle.
“An excellent choice my little prince. Perhaps mommy will join you.”
>”No-no.”
“Aww, no mommies allowed?”
>You feign sadness as you near the edge of the garden.
>”Lulu!”
>He points to the sky.
>Luna?
>What’s she doing up at this hour?
>You look up and see a larger bird, most likely a hawk or eagle from the garden flying above you.
“No honey, that’s not Auntie Luna.”
>You say looking up at it.
“That’s just a bir-“
>You are interrupted by a dull thumping noise coming from your side.
>Your eyes immediately go wide.
>Oh no!
>You look down and see him lying face down on the ground.
>He must have tripped on the part where the grass met the cobblestone of the castle.
“Anonymous! Sweetheart, are you okay!?”
>He raises his head up to look at you.
>He’s biting his lip and taking quick breaths, while his eyes display a mixture of sadness, pain, and confusion.
>It’s only a matter of time until-
>”wwaahhHHHHHHHHH~! WWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!”
>He screams and cries for all who will listen.
>”Your highness!”
>Comes a voice of one of the guards stationed at the castle entrance.
>You pick him up with your magic and quickly try to look him over.
>He has some scratches, some scrapes, his knee is bloodied.
>He’s bleeding!
>Oh sun, your little foal is bleeding!
>You pull him close to your chest and he instinctively wraps his arms around your neck while continuing to wail.
“Shhhhhh, shhhhhh, shhhhh. It’s alright, it’s okay. Mommy’s here.”
>You try to comfort him but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good.
>”Is the prince alright?”
>You barely register the guard talking to you.
>You need to get him to the infirmary.
>Closing your eyes, you try to focus on the details of the room you want to teleport to.
>But your concentration is broken.
>Try as you might, you can only see your son crying in your mind.
>Magic is out it seems.
>You extend your wings and are about to take flight when you feel them start to shake and refuse to listen to your commands.
>Your heart is beating so fast and you’re starting to feel a little light headed, almost like you’re having a panic-attack.
>You don’t trust yourself to fly right now.
>Your wings might give out or you might miss a flap and the two of you would come crashing down.
“We need to get him to the infirmary, now!”
>”Follow us.”
>A guard says acknowledging your request.
>You follow quickly behind them as they lead the way through the castle halls.
>You think you occasionally hear them yell at somepony to clear the way.
>It’s hard to hear over Anonymous’ cries.
>How did this happen?
>You only took your eyes off of him for a second.
>How could you let this happen?
>What kind of mother are you to let this happen?
>You don’t know how long it took, but you are now at the entrance to the infirmary.
>No doubt the nurses or doctors have been alerted to your arrival by your son’s screams.
>A unicorn nurse steps out to see what the commotion is and sees you.
>”Princess Celestia!?”
>She then looks down you holding your screaming son against you.
>”Both of you, please come with me.”
>She says, quickly regaining her composure and leading you into an empty examination room.
>”What happened?”
“We were walking in the garden, I think he tripped on the spot between the grass and the stone.”
>You try to answer over his crying, he’s now at the point that he is having trouble catching his breath he’s crying so hard.
>”Did he hit his head?”
>Did he?
>Oh no, what if he did?
“I-I don’t know…”
>How do you not know that?
>”I’ll need to see him.”
>She says trying to grab him with her magic but he doesn’t want to let you go.
“Sweetie, it’s okay. Please, you need to let go.”
>He doesn’t comply to your request, so you are forced to use your own magic to loosen his grip on your neck and pull him away from you.
>She takes him and puts him on the examination table while he holds his arms out to you and looks at you with tear soaked eyes.
“It’s okay, Mommy’s here sunshine. Mommy’s here.”
>You try to comfort him by stroking his head with your wing.
>It helps, but only a little.
>He still reaches out to you, hoping you can help him.
>You see his face is red from tears and snot is coming from his nose, probably over your chest to but who cares about that.
>His eyes are almost begging you to take his pain away.
>It breaks your heart to see him like this, knowing you can’t help him.
>You look down at his knee and see a gouge and a lot of red.
>The nurse looks at you.
>”Princess! Are you alright?”
>You follow her eyes and look down to see a reddish splotch on your white coat.
>His blood must have gotten onto you.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine. It’s just from him I’m sure. Please do what you can for him.”
>She nods and returns to your son.
>You continue to stroke the side of his head with your wing, it’s helping and he’s slowly starting to calm down.
>What happened back there?
>You, who has taught how many students teleportation, couldn’t do a mid-level spell when your son needed you.
>You blanked out and couldn’t concentrate.
>And your wings?
>You couldn’t fly.
>You, who claimed and conquered the Elements of Harmony.
>Who stood up to Discord with your sister to save Equestria.
>You bested Nightmare Moon and how many other threats to everything you held dear.
>But this…
>Seeing your son hurt and in pain.
>Never before in all your years have you felt so powerless and weak.
>It scared you.
>It was the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced, knowing you can’t do anything for him.
>The very thought shook you to the core.
>”Alright, I cleaned the cut out and bandaged him up. It was a bit of blood, but it seemed to be more superficial than anything. The scratches aren’t of any real concern. I’m not too worried though, I’m thinking the doctor would be willing to discharge him without holding him for observation.”
“Thank you. Thank you very much.”
>”I’ll go get the doctor so you can be on your way.”
>She leaves without another word.
>Anonymous is just winding down from his crying fit and is trying to catch his breath.
“Oh sunshine. Mommy’s sorry. Mommy’s so, so sorry.”
>You hug him close and wrap your wings around him.
>You feel him hug you back, as his head rests against the side of your neck.
>His breathing has returned to normal and his tears have subsided.
>How could you have let this happen?
>You tighten your hug around him.
>How can you make sure something like this doesn’t happen again?
>You could remove all the stone and hard surfaces from the castle.
>Maybe a spell to change his physiology.
>You could always just keep him by your side and be ever vigilant to protect him if need be.
>Perhaps-
>”Mmmph!”
>You feel Anonymous struggle against you.
>You only now realize that you’ve been continuing to tighten your grip on him inadvertently.
“Oh sunshine! Mommy’s sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you so tight!”
>You apologize and let him go.
>He looks down at his bandaged knee and then to the floor.
>It’s so hard to see him not smiling or laughing.
>By holding him too close, you made him uncomfortable and want to get away from you.
>And if you constantly hover over him, you’ll stifle his childish innocence.
>You’ll end up creating at best, a shy and sheltered colt who would be afraid of his own shadow.
>At worst, you’ll lessen the likely hood of seeing him smile and it’ll end with him wanting to push you away.
>You think back to your childhood with Luna.
>The two of you laughed, ran, fell down, and had more than your fair share of cuts and bruises.
>You both seemed to grow up alright.
>You’ll always want him to be safe, and you’ll do your best to always protect him.
>But at the same time you don’t want to rob him of his childhood.
>And looking at him sitting there on the examination table, he looks so sad.
>You need to show him that you’ll always be there for him and that a skinned knee isn’t the end of the world.
“Hey sunshine.”
>You stroke the side of his face with your wing.
“You were mommy’s brave little colt while the nurse helped you.”
>You praise him with a smile.
>Seeing you smile must have helped because he returns one back to you.
“How about when we’re all done here, we stop and get a nice treat? Maybe some cake and ice cream.”
>His ears perk up.
>”Cake?”
>He asks hopefully.
“Yes, cake sunshine.”
>You answer and kiss his forehead.
“But mommy doesn’t think she can wait that long. She might need something to hold her over. Something like you!”
>You say and move your face down to his belly and start to pretend eat him.
“Om-nom-nom-nom! Oh, so yummy! Om-nom-nom!”
>He squeals in delight and playfully baps at your head.
>His laughter is filling the air and you can feel his mood has lightened.
>Things are as they should be again.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>So much has happened since then.
>He’s fallen down many, many times since then and always gotten back up.
>And it’s always made each of you stronger for it.
>Him physically and you emotionally.
>Soon he won’t need you at all.
>”Mom? You in here?”
“Anon?”
>You ask turning to see him poking his head into your study.
>”I thought I might find you here.”
“What are you doing here? I thought you were studying with Twilight.”
>He shrugs.
>”Finished early and decided to come home. Imagine my luck when they said you were done with day court.”
>He walks up to you and holds you in an embrace.
>”So, according to Miss Raven, you have about half an hour before dinner. I know it isn’t a lot of time, but you wanna do something?”
>Only a half hour left?
>You must have really been deep in thought.
“Well I was hoping to listen to some music with you if that’s alright.”
>He grins.
>”Sure. I just have my mp3 player and the earbuds though. My speaker is in my bag back at my room. I can run back and get it if you want.”
>He gestures back to his room.
“No that’s alright. Just so long as you’re here, that’s what’s important.”
>”Hang on, I got an idea. Is it okay if we sit down?”
“Of course. How about over here.”
>You walk over to your chair and gracefully sit.
>He follows close behind and sits next to you.
>You watch as he slowly sinks into the chair and relaxes before your eyes.
>He sees the pictures on your table.
>”Heh, just as comfy as I remember. Not as big as I remember it being though.”
>He takes out his earbuds, wipes it with his fingers before placing one into your ear, and proceeds to put the other into his ear.
>Looking through the list of songs, he seems to find one he likes.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeKhlUzPUc
“You know it’s funny. Earlier I was thinking about how you wouldn’t need me anymore because you’re growing up so much. Do you remember when you fell and scraped up your knee badly?”
>”I was a kid, I’m pretty sure that happened often.”
“You were very young. You were crying and I had to really calm you down.”
>You don’t want to admit you were freaking out too.
>He sits listening to you.
“I thought about coddling you and doing everything to keep you safe. But it would have been a boring life for you I’m sure of it. So instead I wanted to make sure you could do things for yourself by letting you be independent while I stayed back and was ready to help you if need be.”
>He nods in agreement.
“But in doing so, I’m afraid I made you too self-reliant. So much so that you don’t need me anymore for anything.”
>”Are you serious? Mom, I’m always going to need you. I may not need you to open a jar for me or make me pancakes, but seriously I love your pancakes don’t stop making them, I still need you. Even if it’s just having you by my side.”
“You’re sure? You’re not just saying that?”
>”I’m positive. And I’m proving it right now. Because I need my mom to sit right where you are and listen to music with me.”
>You smile and rest your head against his.
“Thanks.”
>You feel him rest against your side like he used to when he was younger.
>It’s good to know he still needs you, even if it’s for little things like this.
=======================================================================================================================================
>excessive heat warning for the weekend
 
> Celestia actually hates the heat
> But even though she controls the sun, she is legally bound to adjust sunlight as directed by the weather council
> She hates it when they call for heat waves
 
>the lone upside being that Anonymous takes to walking around in just shorts
>"Ooh, what a naughty boy~"
>'Mom, there is no a/c in this entire palace; no fucking way I'm walking around all day in that suit.'
>Wants to take him to Rarity's boutique so she can tailor him some tighter shorts
 
>She will never use your sweaty self as a salt lick
 
>You tolerate it from your mom and aunt
>Other nobles begin to believe they're entitled as well
>"Heh, n-next time just ask first, Fancy, Ms. De Lis."
>"Blueblo-, THE FUCK, DUDE?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Stop eating all my candy, mean Auntie Moon!"
>'T-the INSOLENCE! SISTER, DO YOU NOT DISCIPLINE HIM?!'
>"My mommy says she's gonna discipline YOU if you aren't nice to me!"
>'Y-YOU...PBBBBBT!'
>"NO YOU, PBBBBBT, FATBUTT!"
>'SISTER, HE HAS RASPBERRIED HIS LAST BERRY OF RASPS, WE SHALL SEE TO IT THAT HE-'
>"You're going to see that he...what?" Mom asks tilting her head to side
>"Because you know what I see? I see that, over there, all by it's lonesome."
>Mom points at the moon
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Mom, you have to like, steal a car to get away."
>'Oh I couldn't do that, sweetheart, none of those cars belong to me.'
>"Those guys in the purple are your rivals, mom, they're going to keep fucking with you when they see you."
>'Hmph, well I think a nice, civil discourse with those gentlemen will clear things right u- I died! Those hooligans shot me!'
>"Duh."
>'W-where's the button for me to inform the authorities? Oh, I'm alive again..'
=======================================================================================================================================
>You are Anon, son of the Biker Queen Celestia.
>You never got into the whole biker gang thing and wanted a normal life like all the other kids.
>You just want to go to school, get a decent job, and have some friends.
>At first your mom thought it was just a phase and you would grow out of it.
>But when she realised you didn't want the biker life she eventually caved and let you go to a regular school a town over where no one knew you or your family.
>It was great, no one judge you based on your mother's lifestyle or past.
>A cute girl with red and yellow hair has even shown interest in you.
>It lasted only a few days though.
>Everyone at school was called in for an assembly and was surprised to find out the principal suddenly retired.
>You however were more surprised by the replacement.
>Your mother walked out in a business suit and looked incredibly professional.
>You've never seen her like this, and no one seemed to notice she was anything but a prim and proper upstanding citizen.
>You know she had to use some connection or threat to get the old principal to leave and that she was picked to be the new principal despite having no prior school experience.
>Also, your aunt came out dressed similarly and she's the new vice principal, is that even a thing?
>When you get home, your mom gets into her normal clothes and explains how she appreciates you wanting a normal life but needs to make sure you're safe.
>So her gang took over the school and is now a good part of the staff.
>The doorbell rings and you open it to find the cute girl with the red and yellow hair dressed similarly to your mom.
>"You've already met Sunset. She's from a neighboring chapter and will be your protection while at school and also after. She will take care of you."
>Sunset winks at you.
>"Real good care of you."
>All you wanted was a normal teenage life.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"A wonderous good morning to you this day, Sister!"
>'Luna.'
>"Did thou sleep well?"
>'..Save for one or two minor inconveniences, yes, Anonymous and I did.'
>"Mmm, good. We do so enjoy when others find their solace and rest in our night."
>'Among other things, I'm sure.'
>"W-we haven't the foggiest notion to what you are referring, Sister~"
>'I will thank you to keep those intrusions to a minimum, Luna. Mother-son sleeping is as sacred a bonding act as mother-son relations.'
>Earlier that night: https://derpibooru.org/1346540?q=artist%3Aarareroll
=======================================================================================================================================
I hope Auntie knows we love her, too.
>"Oh, how he hath grown!"
>'Luna, I trust you to be responsible and above all careful with your nephew during his visit.'
>"Your worries are baseless and unfounded, Sister, The Lunar Fortress is impenetrable, my defenses cannot be-"
>'It's also on the moon. Where there is no oxygen. Anonymous requires oxygen.'
>"..All the time?"
>'LUNA.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh no, darn, I spilled this tea all over my son, oh drat."
>'Mom, what the hell?! That shits ho-'
>"Yes, yes, mommy will help. Ehh, pardon me, Mrs. Cake? Perhaps Anonymous and myself could use your guest bed-..master be-..scuse me, master bathroom to tidy up?"
>Mrs Cake nods and points upstairs
>"Come along, sweetie, wouldn't want all those cool, available mares to see your little accident, would you?"
>Anonymous grumbles and follows
>Mom has strange ways of initiating
>Anonymous gets her back later by making fart noises in day court and hurriedly ushering his mother up to her chambers to 'air out her sins'
 
>>"Come along, sweetie, wouldn't want all those cool, available mares to see your little accident, would you?"
>Momlestia subtly embarrassing and cockblocking other mares because she wants you for herself
 
I never thought I'd be annoyed and aroused at the same time.
 
>Auntie is even worse
>"By our sisters graces, is our darling nephew attempting to abscond from his curfew this evening?"
>"Ah, entranced by the wiles of a maiden fair..we are sorry, nephew."
>'F-for what?'
>"*ahem* You down there! We assume thou art waiting for a young human so that you two may gallivant and cavort through our night?"
>The nervous mare stutters out a 'Yes'
>"We are sorry, but this date will have to take place on some other d...date. Our Nephew is Chief Cuddler of the Lunar Deity and as such, has certain duties he must fulfill. So sorry."
>"Guards, please escort her from the grounds, thank you."
>'Bye, E-evening Breeze..'
>"There, there, nephew..would you like to brush our mane, hmm? Would that raise thine spirits?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>big horsemom wants to be treated like a filly
>"Mom, I can't carry you to your bed."
>'You hafta' do what I say, sweetheart, I'm the mommy AND the princess.'
>"Ok, 1. You live like, 3 miles up and that's about uh, a one too many fucking stairs, 2. You're too hea-heheh,heavenly! T-that's what I meant!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"A-and I want a ice creaaaam, um, an- and I want a sucker, oooh and you hafta put sunscreen alll over us, too!"
>'V-verily, nephew, and prithy, taketh thy time in applying said ointment to us. Be very..thorough.'
>Stares be damned, you're not going to let your Mom & Aunt get sunburnt
>"T-they're uh, heh, they can be a handful.." You quip to a family that's moving away from the 3 of you
>"Weee! Now we can build a sandcastle!" Mom shouts, throwing her hands up and losing her top
=======================================================================================================================================
"W-why don't we ever snuggle anymore, Anon! Is mommy not pretty enough for you anymore?!"
 
>"Sweetie, if it's something mommy did, please, pleeease tell me, I f-feel so empty without you beside me in the mornings.."
>God no
>Why
>"I want my sweet boy back. The one who'd always run to his mommy when he had a bad dream."
>Please stop mom
>Mom stop please
>Stop mom please
>There is momentary silence as the intercom ceases and your classmates slowly turn to look at you with varying expressions
>"*ahem*..Moving on, for lunch today..Oh..*sniff*..F-for lunch today is Fajita dippers, mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, and your choice of chocolate, strawberry, or regular milk."
>"..Oh..*sob*..my sweetheart always gets chocolate.."
>"H-have a wonderful day, my sunshine, students and faculty."
>WELP', guess that's that
>Now you have to go your mom's office and cuddle the fuck out of her so she knows no matter what, you're always going to love and need her
=======================================================================================================================================
"W-why don't we ever snuggle anymore, Anon! Is mommy not pretty enough for you anymore?!"
 
>You blink owlishly at Celestia, sitting all curled up on her bed and hugging a pillow to her chest as though it were a long-lost lover.
"I..."
>She sniffles pitifully and wipes away a tear with her forehoof, looking at you with big, bright, miserable eyes.
>"Aren't I pretty enough for you, sunshine?"
"Mom," you say carefully, setting down your glass of water on the ground next to you, "of course you are. You're the prett-"
>"Then where were you!? I-I woke up a-and you weren't there!" your mom choke-sobs, before burying her face into the pillow and weeping loudly
"Mom, I was getting a glass of wa-"
>"Wh-where did m-mommy's little baby g-go!?"
>Oh, god.
"I was thirsty!"
>Your explanation falls on deaf ears, and Celestia continues to cry into her pillow.
>She always gets like this when she wakes up to find you missing from her bed.
=======================================================================================================================================
>No fur
>Small eyes
>Seemingly helpless
>All this triggers some powerful maternal instincts in Celestia the first time she sees him
>Is unusually kind to him, insisting that he call her "Celestia" or "Tia" instead of using her full royal title
>Gushes when she sees him do something cute
>Fusses with him and, when they go outside, gets a servant to bring a blanket so that she can wrap it around his shoulders
>Before Anon is all set to go, he's already got the all-powerful ruler of the land calling him "my sunshine" and a very insistent invitation to come visit whenever he wants.
>Sometimes when Anon wakes up for work, he finds a plate of fresh homemade chocolate-chip cookies on his kitchen table and a note signed "mom"
=======================================================================================================================================
You know her, dude
 
Probably thought it was some hip lingo all the young people are using
>ywn go cruising with her as she bumps lowrider oldies
>pull up to a stoplight at the same time as some people from school
>"Don't you know those girls, sweetheart?"
>NO
>"YO, GIRLS, WHAT IT DO? P. CELESTIA REPPIN' FOR SOUTH CENTRAL CANTERLOT HIGH-, Anonymous, sweetie, throw signs with mommy."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia is extremely maternal to Anon
>Luna is attracted to Anon instead, and she always gets the stink-eye from Celestia when she catches Luna trying to get Anon to touch her butt
 
>"Worry not, fair Anonymous, it wont bite...hard."
>Anon looks unsure as he reaches for her tail dock
>"Y-yes, your hoof spiders draw nearer to the lunar surface~"
>"Fight it not, Anonymous, you know in your heart you must touch our posterior."
>Suddenly she's hip checked by Sunbutt who uses her magic to force his hand to her plush badankadonk
>'Oh nooo, he touched mine first, darn, I guess by uh..that one, really old and obscure law, that means he's my son now.'
>"USURPER!" Luna shouts
>Anon watches them argue and regrets that he strayed from the palace tour group to find a bathroom in the first place
 
>"So, uh..."
>You regard Celestia; she looks about as awkward as you feel.
>"I guess I'll just... get somepony to gather your things and, you know..."
>She rubs the back of her head and looks away.
>"Move it all into the palace.
 
>Luna wanted to let Anon go back home, but Celestia thought it would look bad if her "son" didn't even sleep in the castle with his "mother"
=======================================================================================================================================
I want her to breastfeed me while I try to tell her which buttons to press and what to do
>"Oh my, a shooting game, Anonymous, sunshine, which button does what now?"
>'Mmph..pweh ay to jump an wiht twigga to thoot.'
>Other players wonder why "CumzOnU69" sounds like a hot girl and try to send friend requests
>>30450706
Pic related
>Anon reprograms it so his mom can't just keep getting what she wants
>"I see you selected the 'want me to eat your fat horse ass' option, but I'll only do that if you adhere to that diet we talked about."
>'..What? No!' Mom clicks the option again
>'You're going to go to town on this backside and like it, young man!'
>"Ah ah ah~ You didn't say the magic word, ah ah ah~"
=======================================================================================================================================
Now I want to see Anon eating Celestia out while she tries to accomplish something that requires concentration.
>"S-Sweetie, please! M-mommy needs to -ah!- focus!"
 
>Sneaks into his Aunt's room
>Her physical body is asleep while her astral self is in the dream realm
>Currently she's consoling a filly who had her first nightmare
>Anon lifts the sheets and encroaches closer to his Aunt's ponut, gently blowing on it
>"Worry not, little one, for the occurences in dreams cannot harm youuuUUUWOOOO~"
>The ceiling in the dreamscape begins to drip
>"*ahem* Excuse our outburst. Returning to the topic at hoof, often times dreams are a manifestation of fears we have in the real-"
>Tongues her ponut full on
>Dream goes sploosh
>Luna beats a hasty retreat from the dreamscape
>Elsewhere a little filly wakes up covered in astral "projections"
>Auntie wakes up and faces a smirking Anonymous
>"I-if one orgasms in dreams, they orgasm in the real world!"
=======================================================================================================================================
She'd do one better and imbue us with alicorn magic so we can MAKE fireworks.
>"Twilight, I realize you're a bit critical about me gifting Anonymous with boundless magical abilities, but please, you've nothing to worry about."
>'I'd like to relax and take your word, Princess, but I just CAN'T STOP BEING A DUMB FAT PURPLE RETARD, AND ALSO I SMELL MY OWN BUTT AND AM DUMB.'
>Mom tries to stifle laughter as she catches Anonymous manipulating Twilight's words with his magic
=======================================================================================================================================
"Oh god. Oh god, she's here."
>"Oh Noooonnnyyyy!
>Why can't this crazy horse just leave you alone?!
>"Where's mommy's little boy?"
>Twilight brought you to the castle a few hours ago and Celestia has been all over you since then!
>She's obsessed!
>You huddle in the tree, holding tight to the branches and trying not to make any noise.
>Maybe she'll go away if you keep quiet.
>...in fact, she might have already left.
>You can't even see her down there anymor-
>You squeak as hot air tickles your neck, and a throaty chuckle fills your ears.
>"Found you~"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"A-are you sure about this, P-princess Celestia?"
>'Quite, Ms. Fluttershy. Luna and myself will only be gone for a short while we pick out a gift for Anonymous's birthday.'
>"Mmm..o-ok.."
>'The two of you should be fine. Anonymous is barely coherent in the morning, but he may notice something awry if you don't act like us to a T.'
>"S-stay in character, got it."
>[Sometime later after Prince Charming's 19 hour beauty rest]
>"Morning, mom, aunt-..wait a sec.."
>'Fluttershy, darling! Quickly, back to character roles!' Rarity hisses while Anon rubs sleep from his eyes
>Fluttershy immediately buries her face in an extravagant cake and begins chewing loudly
>Rarity starts shouting in olde english and launches into her own rendition of the sailors hornpipe
>Anonymous sees that all is as it should be and suspects nothing
=======================================================================================================================================
>It's, nnf~, quite alright, dear! Mommy's just having that seasonal itch again!
 
>mom has been walking around with her tail raised all day
>you know nothing about horses or why her vagina is making raspberryies at you
 
>"Oh m-mommy's big boy smells so goood today."
>She has her snoot buried in your crotch
>Insists you ride atop her back all day in just your undies
>Picks up a leisurely trot and suddenly stops
>"Mmmmm~ Yessss.."
>She feels you grind against her everytime
>Convinces you it's just a game of 'red light, green light'
=======================================================================================================================================
"Mom, c'mon. Please? I'm 28, I don't need you to help me wash my hair."
>Celestia looks shocked at your words, as well as a little bit hurt.
>"But... but baby, we've ALWAYS had bathtime together!"
>Her unhappy expression slowly melts away to a sly smile, making her look like she knows something you don't.
>But then, if you know your own adoptive mother, you know that look is more akin to her having something that she can hold over you.
>"Are you sure you're too old for bathtime with mommy, sunshine?" she asks, practically purring your pet name, "I think I can make it worth your while."
>The look in her eyes promises mischief; the sort of twinkle you'd see when you were a kid right before she'd hold you down and blow raspberries into you tummy.
>Be strong, Anon.
>Think of your dignity.
>Think of the extra room in the tub.
>Think of your mother not casually handling your penis because she's done it a million times before while you were growing up!
>Think of-
>Your mother leans in close and nuzzles your cheek sweetly, and brings her mouth close to your ear.
>"I can lower the sun an hour early," she breaths like the temptress she is, "and you, your aunt, and I can all cuddle up under the blanket."
>You shiver all over; your will is fading.
>"...and I can read us all a bedtime story."
>FUCK
"Hnngggg..."
>GODDAMMIT THAT SOUNDS SO COMFY
>HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY NO TO THAT
>You tense up as you try to resist your mom's words, but all the will just slips away from you as you imagine yourself tonight with your family.
>Celestia's laying on her side, and you're leaning up against her stomach.
>Luna will be there too, only she'll be resting her head on your lap so that you can play with her ears; just like she likes.
>...and just like YOU like, too.
>They're so fucking soft.
>It's too much for you.
>You return your mom's nuzzle, much to her delight.
"FFFFFFFFFFine."
>Celestia clops her hooves together happily.
>"I'll fetch the bath toys!"
>She trots happily out the door before you can say a word of protest.
=======================================================================================================================================
"......Bad dream?"
>"Bad dream."
>"I also had a bad dream!"
"Aren't you supposed to be running the kingdom auntie?"
 
>"I put a sign on the door that says 'back in 15 minutes'. It'll hold 'til morning."
 
>tfw you are Luna, and too afraid to show that type of strong affection towards your nephew,so you've resigned yourself to only dreaming about it
 
>"I..."
>Aunt Luna was avoiding your gaze, a light blush just barely visible through her coat.
"All this time? You've been wanting cuddles?"
>"Anon.."
"Luna, why didn't you say anything?"
>She hung her head low, clearly not quite comfortable with this conversation.
>You would not relent however.
"Please, Luna, you know you can always talk to me about anything."
>"Yes."
"But?"
>She sighs, finally giving up trying to avoid this.
>"I- I didn't.. It's not appropriate for us. You're with Celestia."
"Luna!"
>"I wouldn't want to get between you two.."
>She looks through the corridor window at the evening sky and her eyes reflect a hint of sadness in the soft moonlight.
>"It's better this way. Don't worry about it."
"Luna."
>She turns away from you and is about to begin walking when you quickly pounce and tackle her to the thick carpet, arms around her withers.
>"Anon!"
>Luna was taken entirely by surprise if her voice is anything to go by.
"Shhh.."
>She doesn't resist as you rub your cheek on her neck while stroking with your hand on the other side to keep her close.
"You silly pony."
>You stop for just long enough to shuffle against the wall opposite to the windows.
>She follows in your grasp without any resistance, not that you'd let her get away now.
>As you resume nuzzling her you start speaking again.
"Luna, I always have time for my favourite auntie. Don't ever think that you'd somehow stand between mom and myself."
>You pause to take a look at her face.
>Her eyes are glazed as she stares out of the window at something so far away.
>You give her a quick scratch behind the ears.
"It's okay."
>She turns to look you in the eyes and you do your best to put on a comforting face.
"It's okay auntie."
>A single tear rolls down her cheek and she sniffles lightly.
>Suddenly a wing wraps around your back followed by her head on the front across your chest.
>You move a hand to support her head, using your fingers to massage below her chin.
>Your head rests on top of hers as you nuzzle her hair behind her ears.
"I'll always have time."
>Another sniffle as you move your other arm to rub between her wings.
>She gives a quiet, content whimper at that so you keep going.
>Going for a long while.
>You both sit there in silence, admiring the starry sky.
>"Would.."
>You wait for her to continue but she seems unsure.
"What is it?"
>"I.. Would you like to.."
>She takes a deep breath.
>"Would you like to take a nap with me?"
>She spoke very quickly, as if ashamed of spreading blasphemy or something and then hung her head, avoiding your gaze again.
>You stroke the side of her neck as you speak.
"Of course. I meant it when I said I'll always have time for my auntie, whether it's for cuddles, for talking, for anything."
>She looks like she's fighting back tears again and after a second she wraps you in a cocoon of hooves and wings.
>"Thank you."
>Soon you're in auntie Luna's bedchambers, sitting on her bed as you wait for Luna to return from the bathroom.
>The door opens as she makes her way to you.
>She still seems a bit shy about it all.
>You notice her eyes are a bit red.
>Damn. She's probably been waiting for this since you appeared in Equestria.
>Your observations are cut short as you find yourself in her tight embrace once again.
>"Thank you Anon. You've no idea how happy this makes me."
>You return her hug.
>She pulls you towards the middle of the bed.
>Your arms are wrapped around her, as her hooves are around you, along with a wing.
>Finally a light blanket floats to cover you both.
>"Good night Anon."
"Good night auntie Luna."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"W-we are most enamored with you, Nephew."
>'...Enamel? Like, teeth?'
>"Nightsong, p-please, what we mean to express is our strong desire to share our budoir with you, a-as does our Sister."
>'Auntie, I don't speak Shakespeare.'
>"YOU SHALL CONSUMATE WITH US POST HASTE!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia pokes fun about how Luna is smaller than she is
>Anon makes his aunt feel better by pointing out that he can pick her up easier because she's so much lighter than Celestia is
>Anon promptly scoops Luna up and cradles her in his arms like a baby
>jealousmomnoises
 
>"I feel so secure in your arms moonbeam."
"Heh-"
>"like I'm your child!"
"Uh...yeah."
>"Perhaps I should suckle your teat for milk!"
"Creepy, but you'd be feeding from a dry well!"
->"Not if I suck the lower one~"
".....I'll get the bib."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Thousands of years ago, Celestia and Luna raised a human child
>The child died somehow, and the princesses mourned
>As centuries passed, time took its toll on the princesses' memory, and they started to forget details about their human child
>By the time modern day hits, all they remember is that they raised a human together whom they loved very much, and he disappeared one day; even the circumstances of his death are forgotten
>And then, Anon pops into existence in Equestria, and Twilight notifies Celestia of his appearance
>Tens seconds after she sends the letter, Celestia and Luna teleport into Twilight's library and dive-tackle Anon, crying and nuzzling him as hard as they can
>They think their human came back
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh? A gentleman caller so late this evening?"
>'..Mom, our rooms are just across the hall from each other.'
>"We've GOT to stop meeting like this, sweetheart~"
>'Anyway, um..I kind of had a bad dream. You think I could cuddle with you for a while, mom? Please?'
>"My sunshine.." She says, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead
>"Ofcourse, make yourself comfortable, mommy will be there shortly."
>You get in mom's bed and awai-
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr-LkA4R_hI
>Mom gets in and pulls your arms around her one around her waist and one just a little higher, you know where
>"M-mom, I thought we we're just goin-"
>'What, baby? Mommy's and son's cuddle to soft rock all the time, now hush. Sleep.'
>"..Ok. Love you, mom- mmph, wha?!"
>'Thought you might enjoy a cordial cherry~..'
>"Good NIGHT, mom."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Alright, listen very closely, because I'm only going to say this once."
>"You. Are not. Good enough. For him."
>" You heard me. My little Sunshine deserves only the best to be his special mare, certainly not some two bit, ladder climbing, tail-raising little skank like you."
>"What? Did honestly think I wouldn't see you for what you really are?"
>"Please. My little Prince may have been fooled by your plot wagging little charm. But that's because he's a sweet, trusting boy, who sees only the best in everypony."
>"I, on the other hoof, have been around for a while, and I know a lying, manipulative little hussy when I see one."
>"Now, if you're smart, you'll call off this little game of yours,and back off from my Sunshine"
>Otherwise, somepony's gonna take a little trip to the fucking moon."
>"Understand?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon wakes up in the middle of the night
>Celestia is laying on top of him, stroking his face and telling him what a good boy he is
>Anon has been paying attention to the signs (even if he didn't want to believe them) and he's watched enough porn to know exactly where this is going
>Celestia pulls Anon's head to her chest... and proceeds to platonically cuddle him for the rest of the night
>Celestia and aunt Luna might act a bit forward, but their love for Anon is purely familial
>Anon isn't sure if he feels relieved, or disappointed
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia tries to awkwardly explain sex to Anon
>Just sort of shuffles up next to him and tries to get him to read a pornographic magazine with her
 
>Celestia is seen as a beacon for purity
>Her subjects tried their best not to expose her to to seedy things
>She's surprisingly sheltered
>The magazine is as much a learning experience for her as it is for Anon
>"Oh my-Sunshine, d-don't look! Goodness, do ponies DO that?"
 
>But Luna, not so much
>She flips through an even racier magazine with Anon
>"Tried it... tried it... tried it and liked it... tried it... INVENTED it... tried-oooOOOOooohh! That's new!"
>"Come, dearest nephew! We shall retire to my bedroom and enjoy this... 'Appleoosa Barn-burner'!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Notice moms secretary with a huge pile of papers one day that were either signed or rejected.
>Follow her to see where it all goes, get caught a few minutes into the stealth operation.
>Be roped into helping carry it by the smirking poner "since my prince is so interested."
>Grumble a bit but go along since you were curious as hell about the huge stack.
>Travel the breadth of the castle from the kitchens, the barracks, the maids quarters, even the gardens delivering all sorts of requisition forms, official notices, approval or disapproval for policies, reminders, etc.
>Raven makes small talk with everypony along the route about their particular subject, which surprises you a little, you assumed this would be a boring no-nonsense paperwork delivery but it seems like the spectacled beauracrat knows everyone in the castle, to the point of inquiring about parties and joking about particular incidents.
>...You were a bit envious, to be perfectly honest.
>While you love your mom to pieces, your position as prince tended to make everypony a bit reserved in your presence, so being party to casual small talk and jokes (Even if they were directed at "Prince Paperpusher") was a welcome change.
>Saying goodbye to the night-guard that requested paternity leave, you realise you've finally reached the end of the stack as Raven turns to you with a smile.
"So, how did you like my average Tuesday?"
>"You do this regularly? It's not just some special paper day?"
>A nod.
>"Honestly? This was fun."
"...Really? I half expected you to make excuses to leave when we got to the barracks, i heard Silvergleam ask if you wanted to supervise a sparring session."
>"Yeah, this was great, i never usually get to meet or talk with so many ponies, at least ones that aren't just looking at my title constantly, and seeing how the castle ticks firsthoof is much different from reading about it."
"Well, i'm glad you enjoyed yourself, PPP."
>"That's going to stick, isnt it."
 
"I already overheard some of the maids gossiping about it, i hope you're ready for some motherly teasing at dinner tonight."
>"...If i run now i could probably be in appleloosa by nightfall."
"We both know she'd delay the sunset until you came home my prince."
>"Dang it."
>Giggling at your misfortune, she gestures down the hallway and cocks her head, looking at you over the top of her everpresent glasses.
"I still need to write a report for today in my office, do you want to help make sure i havent forgotten anything?"
>You find it hard to believe the mare that can remember 38 different birthdays without even glancing at a calender would ever need your help in that department, but you recognise an invitation when you see one.
>A grin on your face, you give a flamboyant bow and use your best impression of Blueblood.
>"This one would be happy to assist a fair maiden such as yourself, lead on, mi'lady."
>You tip an imaginary hat for good measure.
>Earning a hoof to the side for your efforts, she fails to completely hide a smile at your antics as she starts walking.
"Keep at it and i'll 'accidently' place an order at Canterlot's Millinery, how does a couple dozen sound?"
>Threat recieved, you quickly fall into step beside her, unable to resist a final quip.
>"It sounds like we should really move along to your office...mi'lady."
"...A bakers dozen."
>"Worth it."
>And it was, although the resulting interest in headgear amongst the nobles had you and your mother struggling to keep a straight face during the day court.
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never have a qt secretary gf.
I wonder how mom would react to you dating her secretary?
 
Having an underappreciated character for a waifu is suffering, my only solace is that what little art of her exists is generally good quality.
>"And thats the last item on the agenda Princess."
"Raven, i have a question about this schedule."
>"I can have the meeting with the gryphon ambassador moved to-"
"No no, that's fine, it's just that right after lunch my little sunshine is marked as "Emergencies only" for about an hour."
>"Ah, yes. His highness informed me of a pressing engagement he wanted to attend and i was happy to rearrange his duties for today to accomodate.
"He did seem a bit distracted this morning, he's probably nervous."
>"I'm sure he has nothing to worry about Princess."
"And i see it appears to line up with your lunch break."
>"It does? What a coincidence."
>A short staredown ensued before a soft smile appeared on Celestia's face.
"The garden maze is lovely this time of year, is it not?"
>"Indeed, the groundskeeper seems to have taken Discord's 'rearrangement' from yesteryear as a personal challenge."
"Undoubtably, there's plenty of twists, turns, nooks and crannies for somepony to get lose themselves in, even the most attentive of ponies could be forgiven for accidently losing track of time, should they venture inside."
>"I'll keep that in mind Princess, if that would be all?"
"You're dismissed, i wont keep you from your duties any longer."
>Turning to leave with a bow, Raven halts at the door by the jovial voice of her principal monarch.
"Oh, one last thing."
>"Yes, Princess?
"Break his heart, and i'll give you a new definition for Daybreak, are we clear?"
>"...As Crystal, M'am."
"Oh that reminds me, please send a request to the Empire for a meeting with Princess Mi Amore, we have important things to discuss."
>Elsewhere in the castle, Anon feels a shiver run down his spine for no discernible reason.
 
Best waifu. Would choose over all the other mares Celestia had lined up for me to marry.
 
Why not? She's been around since he was 3.
>She started to be Celestia's new secretary in her early 20s.
>When Anon was 5 he told Raven that he wanted to marry her when he gets older.
>She thought he was joking after all he is little and say silly stuff like that.
>13 years later.
"Hey Raven I'm old enough now. Let's get married."
 
>Argues she's too old and might not be able to give him foals
>Anon tells her to fuck off with that attitude
 
>Mom knows you're in a relationship with Raven.
>Raven got to work later than usual.
>She notices that her mane is a little messed up as well.
>"Sorry your highness. I won't be late again."
"It's more than fine Ms. Raven. Everypony has off days."
>"Thank you Princess."
"I got one question for you."
>"Anything."
"How was it?"
>"Pardon?"
"You know what I am talking about."
>"Y-Your Highness!!"
 
>Anon walks in with a brush.
>"Hi mom, hey Raven, you ran off so quickly you didnt fix your hair."
>Casually picks her up, sits her on his lap and removes her hair tie.
>Too startled to properly react, the bespectacled mare can only let out a short squeak before he starts brushing her mane.
>Red as a tomato, she nonetheless melts under his ministrations.
>"So, what were you talking about?"
>Celestia joins her secretary in blushing, pointedly looking everywhere except for where said pony is currently sat.
 
-----------------------------------------
 
>"How big is he?"
>After the sun sets, Celestia discretely sends a custom dildo-making store a set o dimensions and measurements
 
>It becomes the number one selling dildo in Canterlot.
 
>Luna arrived a little bit later in Anon's life
>Too late to help him bathe or to have any real excuse to see his ding-a-ling while doing normal auntie things with him
>Luna buys the latest most popular dildo, not knowing that it was modeled off of her beloved nephew's dong
>She loves it
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Hmmm..choco mini donut crunch, frosted filly flakes..they don't seem to have his brand, though."
>"Fantastic.."
>Mother makes a call to inform a certain someone of the minor inconvenience
>"Hiii my sunshine~ Yes, I'm at the store right now. Um, Anonymous, sweetheart, if you had to pick a cereal that ISN'T 200% diabetic, what would it be?"
>"..Anonymou-..yes, mommy knows this isn't the only store but it was on the way ho-..don't get snippy with ME, young man!"
>Other shoppers begin to take notice
>"NO, I sai-, ANONYMOUS CELESTIAL SKIES, YOU ARE NOT HAVING 'TENDIES' FOR BREAKFA-..no, mommy's going to ask them to look in the back right now then."
>Mother flags down a store associate
>"*ahem* Pardon me? Yes, hello, could I trouble you to perhaps check your warehouse for another box of-, ANONYMOUS, MOMMY IS TALKING TO THE MAN RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO HUSH."
>'I-I'll check right now, ma'am...[p-please god let there be a box back there]'
>"Thank you so much."
>Mother returns to her call
>"He-, Anonymous he went to go check right now. Baby, mommy is a customer, she's not allowed to go back there and just get a b-, ANONYMOUS WYATT HOLIDAY, YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHATEVER CEREAL HE COMES BACK WITH AND FUCKING LIKE IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
>"..Good. Mommy loves you, too. Mwah~ bye."
>Several small fires breakout around the store
>Frightened shoppers look at her as the sprinklers come on
>"WHAT?...I love my son."
>Just then the employee returns with cereal in hand
>It's Centrum brand Bran Flakes for regularity
>'S-sorry, miss, this was all there was.'
>She studies the box with a smirk
>"It's perfect, thank you."
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HbvXwJU6BbE
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anon! Take a look at this!"
>You look up from your homework, to see your foster mother, and she's strangely dressed.
>Momlestia is wearing a pretty revealing shirt, that accents her bosom. On the front are the words "Incest" with a heart around it.
>Her and her silly Japanese clothing.
>She shows a book to you.
"Take a look at what?"
>"My students are studying Oedipus! It's said he had a sexual relationship with his mother! Isn't that crazy?"
"Yeah. That's wild!"
>She puts her hands behind her back, and rocks on her heels, humming.
"......Was there something else?"
>She leans in close, her erect nipples pushing into your cheek through her shirt.
>"Not really. So...what do you think about this Oedipus? What kind of son would be crazy enough to give his mother such tender, passionate love like that? I mean-YOWZA."
>You get the feeling she's suggesting something....
"It's certainly a strange concept."
>She puts one of her long legs on your lap.
>You didn't notice the daisy dukes until now.
>"I can't imagine my son, taking me like that! I would just...probably let it happen! I mean, I couldn't possibly fight against such honest feelings like that!"
"Oh don't worry. I'd never hurt you mom!"
>She looks visibly disappointed.
>"W-well let's not be completely intolerant here..."
>You rub your chin, She's hinting at something....but what?
>"I'm going to go to bed. Naked. With my legs spread wide open. I'm also a deep sleeper. It'd take a nuclear fallout to wake me. I also keep my condoms and lube in my nightstand, Top drawer."
"Hmmm..."
>She gets off you, strutting out your room showing off her curves.
>"Oops! My shirt tore, and my breasts just fell out as I was leaving!"
>She puts her hands behind her head, shaking to and fro.
"Yeah, they sure don't make clothes like they used to."
>She stops jiggling, and frowns.
>"I'm going to bed, and leaving my door unlocked~"
>/sure thing. Night mom."
>She throws something at your feet.
>it appears to be panties.
>You pick them up. Still warm.
"Oh my god. How could I be so goddamn stupid? What type of shitty son am I, to not see all the signs?!"
>You know what must be done.
>You immediately prepare yourself to get on the internet and find a nice outfit to buy mom. Her birthday is coming up after all
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous, my love..."
>'M-mom?'
>"Yes, ofcourse, sunshine. It's mommy."
>You take a step back as she advances
>A single tear forms before extinguishing with a hiss as it rolls down her cheek
>"S-sweetheart, no, please..i-it's still me. Don't be afraid."
>Immediately feeling a sense of safety and relief, you step towards her
>"I could never hurt you, baby. You're the only one for me~"
>things went better than expected.wmv
>"Now. How shall we reign over this land and it's inhabitants? Scorched Earth? Totalitarian might?"
>Mild concern.png
>'H-hey, do you still like cake? Let's get some cake, mom.'
 
>you reteach her morality and ethics based entirely on cake and cake analogies
 
>Daybreaker justifies her decisions to allow land and rights back to her subjects by referencing cakes and weird analogies like "if you want to bake a cake, you've got to break some eggs" or "A cake without icing is just gross bread"
>Her subjects are confused, but generally pleased with how things are going
>Dignitaries and diplomats have no idea how to respond when Daybreaker yells "Icing between two layers of cake and raspberry jam between two layers of cake are two different things!" and flips the table in a fit of anger
>Calls Anon the cherry on her cake when they're in private
>Also tells Anon that she'd like to lick his cherry syrup
Dealing with Cakebreaker is never easy.
 
>Cherry Syrup
She wants his virgin blood?
 
She's not very good at analogies.
 
>Anonymous and his mother visit Earth
>Reporters clamor to ask the all wise and benevolent ruler of an alien civilization something
>Anon warns her to answer carefully since she isn't yet accustomer to earth's slang and societal norms
>"What do you plan to do first, Your Highness?"
>'My sunshine and I plan to smash.'
>"Y-you and your son what?"
>'..Is 'smash' not the term humans use to describe a social outing with a member of the opposite sex?'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"O-Oh, no! No, don't press my face into your bulge, Ano-er... mysterious masked hero! It's my one weakness; the one thing that can defeat me! B-but only if you do it over and over."
 
>Celestia dresses up and gets "defeated" by Anon at least twice a week
=======================================================================================================================================
Picture their battle going like this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DCB2FmoF_5A
 
"HUAHHH!"
>You flip power ranger style out of nowhere into a vacant lot.
>You were sent a letter of challenge by long-time foe, Daybreaker, offering to settle things between the two of you once, and for all.
>You search your area, noticing the lack of bystanders.
"Truly an epic battle is about to take place."
>"Hentai Kamenon!"
>You whip your head to the sound of your name being called, and spot Daybreaker's silhouette atop a nearby building.
>You pose at the ready.
>"You answered my challenge hero. Well done."
"Of course I did! There's no way I'd pass up a chance to serve up some piping hot JUSTICE!"
>She laughs, still blacked out.
>"You have indeed defeated me many times, but this time will be different!"
>She flips off the building landing in front of you with a dust kicking thud.
>As the clouds part, the light of the moon(because I forgot to mention it was night earlier) illuminate her form.
"N-NANI?!?"
>Daybreaker is different. Not clad in her usual skimpy armour but rather-
>"That's right. I've figured out your power source, and have tapped into it as well!"
>She's dressed just like you, except she's wearing nipple tassles.
"S-so perverted..."
>"Yes. Your power stems from your perverted desires! I just needed to embrace my own burning desires! Now I'm invincible!"
>She pulls a set of panties. that were nestled between her toned sexy buttocks and dons them, transforming.
>"CLOTHU UPPU!"
>You can only stare in horror, as she becomes...something new.
>What could she feel such perversion towards to initiate such a drastic change in power?!
>She poses, her flowing greyish pink hair flowing, yet there is no wind.
>"You face not Daybreaker....BUT MOLESTIA!"
>You're blown back by her lewdness into a wall.
"HNGH!"
>Your head spins from the attack, blurring your vision.
>As you look up your gaze is obscured by a large cloth clad camel toe.
>"As I thought. You're no match for me now."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia takes Twilight on as her special student to groom her to be the perfect bride for her son
>Made her an alicorn so that she'll be strong enough to protect him when Celestia isn't around
>Unlike most Momlestia stories involving Twilight and Anon, it actually works; Anon gets along well with Twilight
 
>Anon gets along well with Twilight
Until the tragic moment when Twiggy reveals just how much of a piggy she is.
 
>Anon stares at Twilight as she drops headfirst into her take-out hayburgers, cheeks bulging from the amount of food she's attempting to inhale.
>His expression remains deadpan as she realises what she just did, looking up at him embarrassingly as she swallows her mouthful.
>"Twilight."
>Shrugging with a nervous chuckle and sheepish grin, she tries to think of ways of salvaging the situation as anon leans forward.
>(Good going Twilight, you let your stomach get the better of you and now your best human friend thinks you're disgus-!?)
>Her brain short-circuits as Anon licks a bit of sauce from her now violently blushing muzzle.
>"You missed a spot."
>Before promptly eating his veggie-burger in two bites.
>TWO.
>Watching with starstruck eyes as he wipes his mouth, he washes it down with his soda and suppresses a small belch as he points at her meal.
>"You gonna finish that?"
>Brain still rebooting from the double whammy surprise, her body seems to take matters into it's own hooves as she leans forward and licks a bit of relish from the corner of his mouth.
"I think i've found something tastier."
>It's Anons turn to blush as Twilights brain catches up to the situation and she quickly sits back down, both of them pointedly looking everywhere but at each other.
 
Outside, a pink alicorn walks away with satisfaction, she can say Hi when they're both less preoccupied.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"-Then, my mom said when you're done wreaking havoc and terror amongst ponies dreams, you retire to your roost and drink pony bloo-"
>'T-THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT WHAT OUR NIGHT ENTAILS, NEPHEW!'
 
>Luna puts on a stern facade when she meets with ponies during Night Court hours and has earned a reputation of being strict, but fair
>As soon as her shift is over and she retires to her rooms, her behaviour does a complete 180
>That's because it's time for her to look after her nephew while Celestia is busy, and she absolutely adores playing with him
>Board games, swapping stories, even jumping on beds (until Celestia caught them and had a very frank discussion with her sister)
>Anon is one of the few people/ponies to know that Luna is a child at heart, and it's never really clear who is looking after whom
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia interrupts Anon while he's trying to get some work done
>Lays down on her side
>Magically lifts him out of his chair and places him next to her
>Starts licking his hair
>Insists on carrying Anon around by biting the scruff of his shirt like a mama cat
>Anon has long since given up on resisting Celestia's more "eccentric" behaviour
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Alright." The therapist pono began
>"Why don't we start this session with some common goals. Things that both of you want."
>"Anonymous, why don't you go first."
>'W-well..like, I want to help ponies and animals alike, maybe become a doctor, or a vet, you know?'
"An evil doctor, sweetheart?"
>'See?! She's doing it again!"
"W-what, what am I doing?
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh my, I certainly hope an able bodied young son of mine doesn't find me in this kind of precarious predicament, what with my tail raised."
>[Minutes go by]
>"IT SURE WOULD BE UNLUCKY FOR ME IF A CERTAIN GREEN HUMAN SOUGHT TO HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME RIGHT NOW."
>A guard approaches
>'M-my Princess? The Young Master is out with his Aunt at the moment..ehh..d-do you require assistance?'
>"No, thank you, just bunch up the rug in the doorway. With any luck, Anonymous will trip, immediately disrobe and begin ravaging me."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia doesn't know what her sister likes to eat
>The one she's known for hundreds/thousands of years
oh god
 
>Celestia and Luna are not naturally born alicorns; their minds are not built for immortality
>Celestia's memory is not infinite, and she forgets many things that happened centuries and centuries in the past
>After Luna's return, Anon finds his mom in her bedroom, sobbing into her pillow
>As soon as she's aware Anon is there, Celestia grabs him in her magic and pulls him into a hug
>Celestia admits that after a thousand years of not seeing her, she's forgotten almost everything about Luna
>Her favorite color; her favorite food; her likes; her dislikes, etc
>She barely remembers their childhood together
>Anon must comfort his mother and encourage her to go find Luna and make new memories with her
 
>"I-I cuh-can't believe I f-forgot little Lulu!"
>You pat the back of mom's long, swan-like neck and try desperately to think of something you could say to comfort her.
"L-Lulu, huh? Was that a foalhood nickname?"
>Celestia pulls back and looks you in the eye
>She has the most heartbroken look on her face.
>"I think s-so..."
>Tears well up once more and her bottom lip quivers.
>"I... I can't remember..."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anonymous prince of Equestria.
>And right now you are having tea and biscuits with some thot named Twilight Sparkle.
>[Scientific horse noises]
>You simply smile and follow along as best you can to whatever it is she's blabbering about.
>You've been at it for hours now.
>What is mother thinking having you spend time with the princess of "friendship"? Doesn't she know you hate her guts?
>Not to worry, for you had a plan to get you out of this.
>"This is a very nice blend Anon."
>You cough really loudly into you fist.
>...
>You do so one more time. Louder.
>"Are you okay? You know, coughing like that might be some-
>Oh bugger this.
"Turnip! Turnip get in here! Blast it!"
>You clear your throat.
"Excuse me Princess. Turnip in the name of all that is holy!"
>The doors to the room open.
>"I'm right here sir."
>The dimwitted, unkempt appearance of your servant finally deigns to grace your nostrils with his foul stench.
>Twilight sips her tea as she looks between the two of you.
>...
>You pinch the bridge of your nose.
>"Oh right! Ahem. Excuse me your majesties, but it seems your, uh, brunch will have to be cut short."
>Right, little bumpy but the plan is back on trac-
>"Aw, what happened?"
>Turnip, simply looks at Twilight.
>You can practically hear the gears grinding inside the hollow he calls a skull and the train that is your plan going off the rails.
>"Well uh... I don't know."
>"What? But you just told us- What happened?"
>"I don't know your highness."
>You just facepalm
>"What do you mean you don't know? Why did you interrupt us then?"
>"Well, Lord Anonymous pulled me aside this morning and said "Turnip, that blasted princess o-""
"Alright Turnip!"
>You stand up and walk up to your servant.
"Really sorry princess, but as you can see, I'm needed elsewhere, really really sorry."
>"But"
>You don't give her time to talk and usher yourself and Turnip out the door.
>You enter your room, Turnip in tow.
>"Brilliant plan sir, if I do say so myself, in fact, it's so brilliant I didn't even think of it."
>You just stare.
"Of course you didn't Turnip, I would say your brain is the size of a pea, but then I'd be stricken down as a liar."
>"How so milord?"
"Turnip, your brain is in fact the size of a flake of dust. I'd challenge the entire world to bring me the dumbest creature they could find but I fear I'd need look no further than you already."
>You pace yourself to your tall window overlooking the big blue sky.
"Why mother keeps setting these meetings with Ponyville's only royal is beyond me, all I know is, I can't keep wasting my time like this."
>You sigh
"At this rate I'll never be king. Mother already lived for millennia and I fear she will live for millennia more, I don't have such longevity in me Turnip, I'll be dust in the wind before I ascend to the throne."
>"That's quite the pickle innit? But I figured being prince is already enough."
"Well, you figured wrong, it's the title, the prestige, actually having the last word in everything!"
>You brush your shoulder and turn to your servant.
"Have you no concept of ambition?"
>...
>"What's... ambition?"
>Bloody hell.
"I should have known to put it in simpler terms. What... do you want most... in your life?"
>Turnip's eyes gloss over in thought for a moment.
>"Why, a little turnip to call my own."
>You give a snort of derision.
"Good luck with that, yours is a face only a mother could love."
>"Sir, I don't get it."
"The only way you'd have a son would be if a blind drunk mare with no sense of smell mistook you for a Diamond Dog and went to bed with it."
>"Nice one sir, but I was talking about vegetables, I want a turnip. Now who's the flake of dust?"
>You have no clue why you don't lop off his head.
"Tell me, if I gave you a turnip right now, what would you do then?"
>...
>"Don't rightfully know sir."
"That is why you don't deserve that turnip."
>You continue pacing around.
"I must think of a plan, one that doesn't involve regicide; I'm desperate, but I'm not backstabbing..."
>Turnip steps forward, a look of self satisfaction coming over him.
>"My lord, I have a most cunning plan."
>This should be good.
"Let us hear it then, I can't possibly be exposed to anything any more stupid than before."
>"Alright..." He leans in "You marry her highness Princess Celestia."
"Turnip, you bloody well outdone yourself."
>He smiles
>"Thank you milord."
"That has to be the dumbest idea I've heard come out of your mouth. Marry mother? I'd question if you were daft or not, but I damn well know the answer to that."
>"Why not? That's what my cousin did to inherit the farm. Besides milord, you aren't even related are you?"
"What difference would it make? She raised me from a babe, I don't see myself calling her anything but mother."
>"How naughty milord."
"Turnip, if you still desire to keep your tongue, I suggest you leave my room immediately."
>The door closes behind him and you sit on your comfy chair.
>You want to be king.
>You will never be king with two immortals ahead of you in the line.
>You could always be king of another land?
>The only way besides murder most foul is to marry after all...
>The Princess of Love is already married and with a child.
>That child is obviously off limits.
>You'll be damned if you'll marry Twilight Sparkle. You can barely stand an evening with her, let alone the rest of your life.
>The current Dragon Lord is a cunt.
>You aren't touching Yakistan
>Aunt Luna... you aren't much for the nocturnal lifestyle.
>That really only leaves...
>Princess Celestia, your adoptive mother.
>That's it!
"Turnip, get in here!"
>"Yes milord?"
"I've come up with a plan!"
>"Is it a cunning plan?"
"Indeed, it is a plan so cunning, you could tie a tail to it and call it a weasel. I shall ascend to the throne by marrying mother!"
>"Brilliant milord."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anon, no fingering your cousin at the dinner table!"
 
>"B-but why?"
 
>"Because if I let you finger your cousin, then your aunt will want to be pleasured during dinner. And if that happens, then both of your hands will be occupied and you won't be able to eat your dinner. How will you grow up to be big and strong if you don't eat well, baby?
=======================================================================================================================================
>You and Luna will never wreck mom while playing a fighting game.
 
That's when she tells you to get onto your PCs so she can humble both of you in Civ.
 
>Your mom and aunt come into your room
>They have a bunch of bags with snacks floating around them
>Celestia is smiling in a way that you've come to know means she's fucked someone over
>Luna levitates a DVD casein front of you
>"Nephew! I saw this game called "Beyond Earth" and it reminded me of you. Would you play it with Tia and I?"
"And who is going to watch over Equestria?"
>"No worries, we staged our own kidnapping again. Tia's former pupil is currently "running" the kigdom."
>Celestia bursts into uncontrolable laughter
>Beyond Earth...
>This daemon has eaten up much of your time in exchange for frustration and stress
>But like all addictions, you can't resist it even though you know it's bad for you
"Okay."
>The princesses go to their rooms and mom explains the basics of Civ games to you over the voice chat while aunt Luna gets settled in her battle station
"Don't worry mom, I've played Civ and BE before."
>"Playing against a computer is nothing like playing against live players. Prepare to get dusted, Nonny!"
>The game starts
>Beads of cold sweat form on your forehead
>Beyond Earth has two real difficulties. Varieties of easy and maximum fuckage
>The hardest setting goes like this; you have some time until the nearest AI comes across you. Then you have a few turns until it decides you have a pretty mouth. And then it declares war and completely rolls over you like a steamroller made of rape
>You were foolish enough to get hooked on the challenge
>While the alicorns are developing culture, you are training soldiers
>While the alicorns are out exploring, you are exterminating the aliens for science and affinity points
>Luna is the first to come across your units with her explorer
>"Oh hi there nephew!"
"Oh crap, phase two!"
>Your soldiers beat Luna's explorer to death and pull his limbs out of their sockets. Then they gangrape the corpse, take pictures, and send them to the enemy High Command and the explorer's family
>It's how you survive in this game
>You use all your money to buy a few more military units and throw everything at Luna
>Her defences crumble like a drunk thot and soon she's about to lose
>"Sister, help!"
>"Quick Luna, flee with a colony pod into my territory before you lose your last city!"
>Your aunt narrowly escapes losing
>Only to be betrayed by your mom, who attacks the colony pod and the refugees
>"Tia, you betrayed me Tia!"
>"Blame the misfortune of your birth, heh."
>Celestia presents a higher calibre of foe
>Her armies are slowly pushing you back and claiming Luna's cities
>"Why share when you can have it all."
>Celestia has almost pushed you to your initial borders when suddenly you launch teleport satelites over her territory
>"What?! Nooo!"
>With her army away from home and only the front cities having been fortified, mom's tender rear is naked and exposed to your teleport assault
>Robots and cyborgs rampage through her territory
>Luna's cities are only a hinderance at this point as they are messing the logistics and offer nothing in return because they still haven't been pacified
>Celestia loses everything but the cities in her intended defence line
>She is forced to surrender
>"My son is clever. Too clever."
=======================================================================================================================================
>You are Anon, son of the Biker Queen Celestia.
>You never got into the whole biker gang thing and wanted a normal life like all the other kids.
>You just want to go to school, get a decent job, and have some friends.
>At first your mom thought it was just a phase and you would grow out of it.
>But when she realised you didn't want the biker life she eventually caved and let you go to a regular school a town over where no one knew you or your family.
>It was great, no one judge you based on your mother's lifestyle or past.
>A cute girl with red and yellow hair has even shown interest in you.
>It lasted only a few days though.
>Everyone at school was called in for an assembly and was surprised to find out the principal suddenly retired.
>You however were more surprised by the replacement.
>Your mother walked out in a business suit and looked incredibly professional.
>You've never seen her like this, and no one seemed to notice she was anything but a prim and proper upstanding citizen.
>You know she had to use some connection or threat to get the old principal to leave and that she was picked to be the new principal despite having no prior school experience.
>Also, your aunt came out dressed similarly and she's the new vice principal, is that even a thing?
>When you get home, your mom gets into her normal clothes and explains how she appreciates you wanting a normal life but needs to make sure you're safe.
>So her gang took over the school and is now a good part of the staff.
>The doorbell rings and you open it to find the cute girl with the red and yellow hair dressed similarly to your mom.
>"You've already met Sunset. She's from a neighboring chapter and will be your protection while at school and also after. She will take care of you."
>Sunset winks at you.
>"Real good care of you."
>All you wanted was a normal teenage life.
 
>"You've already met Sunset. She's from a neighboring chapter and will be your protection while at school and also after. She will take care of you."
>Sunset winks at you.
>"Real good care of you."
All of my unf
Though such a young girl already in a biker gang...
She's a legacy too right? Can't really picture how she got in otherwise, well, I can, but it wouldn't be pretty.
How crude and tsun would she be?
 
>Sunset took the job to get ahead in the gang.
>Will even fuck Celestia's son if it means she doesn't have to constantly fight off the advances of the rest of the gang.
>Is incredibly crass and swears like a sailor.
>Her presence commands respect out of others her age and even some adults without her doing anything.
>Expects Anonymous to be a horny kingpin brat that would be on the path of becoming like the rest of the beer gutted, lecherous, smelly, hair-triggered violent men that make up the male side of the gang.
>Turns out he's the opposite.
>The number of hymens he's responsible for breaking is 0
>He doesn't get into a punch-out after other guys meet his gaze, meaning she's the one that needs to beat some sense into them for daring to meet the gaze of the Biker Queen's son.
>He's so straight laced he once tried to basket a soda can to impress her, only to miss and instead of just leaving it there, he picked it up and put it in the trash.
>Anon doesn't even ride a bike and tears it through town, he just plays his "vidya" or sits on his computer like a nerd all day long after school.
>He doesn't even wear the sweet leather jacket.
>Worst of all, he doesn't even try to stick his dick in her 24/7 even if she makes it clear his mother gave her orders to let him do anything he wanted to her. Anything at all.
>Is this candyass fuccboi really the son of the Biker Queen?
>And why is Sunset actually falling for a guy like him?
 
>Sunset will never try to protect Anon's innocence.
 
>Sunset visits Celestia to give her her bi-weekly report on Anon's safety
>Tells her about all the naive shit Anon says to her
>They both laugh
>Sunset's laugh trails off gently and her smile lingers just a little bit longer than it normally would
>Celestia stares at Sunset for a long moment
>Goes into "biker queen" mode and tells her that nobody would ever find the body if she hurts her son
>Sunset knows that she's completely serious
 
>Celestia wants to protect Anon's innocence more than anyone.
 
>Flash slams Anon in a locker.
>Anon has to stop Sunset from injuring him severely.
 
>"But he hurt you!"
"I'm fine Sunny. He learned his lesson, please stop for me."
>This is the first time Anon her called that.
 
>Sunset looks at you for what feels like forever.
>She looks outraged, like all she needed was an excuse to keep punching Flash and you just took it away from her.
>Finally, she turns around and snarls at your (soon to be ex) bully.
>"You got lucky I have better things to do, you fuckin' putz. I don't wanna see you 'round Anon no more, you got that?
 
>>So her gang took over the school and is now a good part of the staff.
I want to read about a big muscley guy with a mullet (preferably played by macho man Randy Savage) is teaching home-ed and how he actually knows his stuff and is a really good teacher.
 
>"Ohhhh yeaahhhh! These pancakes runnin' wild on you, brother!"
>"Hot diggity damn, children! Look at Miss Heartstring's beautiful stitching!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>You are Anon, adopted son of Princess Celestia
>You popped into Equestria when you were in your really early teens (just a kid, really), and a certain white princess took a distinctly motherly interest in you.
>This was fine, because you were young, alone, terrified, and desperate for comfort.
>That was probably why you latched on to Celestia as quickly and as easily as you did, but you don't regret a thing.
>Celestia is a wonderful mother, and she loves you very much; she tells you every day.
>Even though you hear "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" from her all the time, it never feels cheap or insincere.
>That's part of why you love her so much; Princess Celestia is one of the kindest, most genuine souls you've ever encountered in your life.
>To this day you still aren't sure why Celestia picked you instead of any other (technical) orphan, nor why she was so smitten with a weird, crying monkey-creature from the get-go.
>Or maybe you're just special.
>...Mom always tells you you're her "special little colt", anyway.
>Even now, in your early adult years, you still discover little things about your mother that you didn't know before
>For example...
>"Sunshine, do you think Mommy has a big enough tuft?"
>Now, you aren't 100% sure about the significance of a mare's chest tuft.
>Your mom's always been a little bit... 'overprotective' of you, so you're a little bit sheltered to pony culture.
>So, you think
>YOU THINK
>A mare's chest tuft is a little bit like dick-size.
>Their chest-dick, if you will.
>The thicker, the better.
>You'd say a tuft is like their breasts, but they've already got a pair right between the legs that they don't care about unless they're pregnant, so you don't think she's asking you if her tits look nice.
>Which makes it sort of awkward that your mom wants to know if you think she's, er...
>'Adequate'.
>Long story short, you panic and hug Celestia, making sure to rub your face into her chest tuft.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon in Equestria
>Ponies (not just alicorns) live for a very long time
>A few hundred years, if they're healthy
>Celestia is the first one to give an official interview to Anon as a brand-new and unknown possible threat
>Asks him to give his name and age
>Celestia is absolutely shocked to hear that he's "only" in his 20s
>"Oh, you poor little colt!"
>Next thing he knows, he's being hugged by a sun goddess
>Nothing Anon can say convinces Celestia that he isn't a young child
>Anon's behavior (expressing wonder at mundane pony things, fear/apprehension at the general idea of being in a new world so far away from home, and the understandable reaction of latching onto someone as his emotional rock) just convinces Celestia even more that he needs a mother to look after him
 
>>Finally learns what a human's average lifespan actually is
>>She wants you by her side 24/7 because she's afraid she's going to miss something important
I dunno, Anon. How would you react if a kindergartner came up to you and said, with the most adorably serious look on their face, that they were already an adult and that they just grew up really fast despite being 5?
 
>"Aww, is my precious little sunshine pretending to be a grown-up?"
>And then she convinced you to take a nap with her, saying that one of her most favorite "grown-up games" was to sleep during her lunch hour.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"What game are you playing sunshine? Can I play with you?"
 
>Dark Souls
>on the 360 because you're a masochist
>Blighttown hurts so good
>Mom walks in during Ornstein and Smough
>"Well, two on one doesn't sound very fair to me. Wait, why does he get his health back?"
>After a few tries, finally beats them
>Goes upstairs, meets big girl
>The questions start
>"Oh, my goodness, who is that? She looks like the best character in the game, can you play as her? What do you mean, you don't want to be one of the Princess' Guard? What the heck is a 'Blade of the Darkmoon'? Did your Aunt put you up to that?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Greetings, my sunshine! It is I, your conscience! Again!"
>A handful sized flapping mom horse appears on your shoulder
>'I don't think my conscience would've told me to steal a foal's birthday cake and send Spike a bunch of gay scroll spam.'
>"Oh stooop, you laughed~"
>'Just because I think you're a cute conscience, mom.'
>"Mmm, if you need me, I'll be in your pocket."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh, um..r-rise with the day, m-my sunbeam...if that's ok with you."
>'Morning already, mom?'
>"Mhmm, d-did you have a pleasant rest?"
>'I sure did. I feel great! Now I can finally blast your fertile womb with my hot monkey seed all day!'
>"YES!..I mean..o-okay, that'd be nice."
>Anonymous begins to disrobe as """mom""" assumes a willing position
>'I hope you're ready to WAKE UP!!' Anonymous said, except it was no longer Anonymus, but instead Princess Luna
>The Princess of the dream realm smiled at a confused Fluttershy before saying 'Ha ha! Thou hast been dream punk'd! Also, you are currently asleep in a large puddle of your own excitement.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>You stutter as your eyes focus solely on mom's ample flank.
>Mom notices this and gives a knowing smile.
>"Sweetie, if something's bothering you, you know you can tell mommy right?"
>She flicks her tail back and forth, barely revealing the prize underneath.
"I...Nothing's b-bothering me mom..."
>She raises an eyebrow at this.
>"I can tell you're lying, honey."
>Mom backs her rump up closer to you to give you a better view.
>"Just tell me what's wrong. I promise I won't be mad."
"Promise?"
>"Promise."
"Well..."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"..'-Claiming her over and over, his sticky love flooding her womb as he bit the scruff of her neck and whispered 'I love you, mo-'..."
>"*sigh*..."
>"What is it now, Ned-, I mean, Twilight."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Mom? When I look at Cadence's or the maids' tails, why do I feel funny?"
>You freeze.
>You are Celestia, god-like matriarch of Equestria, the herald of morning and Guardian to ponykind for eons to come.
>And a millennia plus of life did not prepare you for this question.
 
>You start to sweat, the teacup in your magical grip nearly spilling, tittering on it’s plate as you try to think.
>What do you tell him?
>Your sweet little sunshine was beginning to have… THOSE feelings.
>He was becoming a proper stallion.
>You bit your lip and took a deep breath.
>Okay okay, just calm down.
>You can handle this.
>It was probably just time for the birds and bees, you know?
>Just something that has to be done.
>He can’t be your innocent, sweet little boy forever.
>Can he?
 
>You squirmed in your seat as he stared up at you, a curious tilt to his head.
>”What’s wrong, Mom? Is it a bad thing?”
>...
>Hnnng!
>He’s too cute!
>It’s not fair!
>Why did you have to be the one to ruin his perfect innocence.
>His father should be the one to explain it to him but… that wasn’t an option for you.
>Ugh, why now of all times!
>You paused, eyes widening.
>Wait.
>It didn’t… HAVE to be now, right?
>You could wait. Maybe even have your student Shimmer gather up a presentation.
>Yeah! That’s it! Shimmer will take care of it.
>That’s what students are for.
 
“It’s nothing to trouble yourself over, sunshine.”
>Anon visibly relaxed and you got up and headed to your scroll shelf to start on the message.
>You felt his eyes on you and when you glanced back, he was staring at your flank, a faint blush on his cheeks.
>O-Oh… that was a bit flattering.
>You were his mother though, but… well it’s not like you were his blood.
>This was just normally filly curiosity, surely.
 
>He gulped then glanced down to his crotch, where you realized he’d grown a hard on.
>Your eyes shot open.
>THIS WAS NOT FILLY CURIOSITY.
>THIS WAS LEWD!
 
“Mom,” Anon said, his voice rising with concern. “What do I do when it gets like this? It keeps happening and it feels super weird.”
 
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
”I-I’m sure it’ll go away in t-time, little prince,” you said, feeling your face heat up.
 
>Anon pursed his lips.
>”Well… it’s been happening since last year. When does it stop?”
 
>If you had been drinking tea, you would have done a spit take.
>A YEAR!?
>His cousin Cadence was born around the same time you found Anon as a baby, and she’d had her cutie mark in love for about a year now.
>Her mark practically flipped a switch in her, making her fully aware of every sweet lick of lust or love within a mile.
>And boy did it do things to that poor adolescent filly.
>She didn’t know what sex was yet but she’d figure it out any day now with that mark.
 
>But if Anon was about her age, then...
>Anon was already past fillyhood!
>Oh, Terra, you're gonna lose your little boy to some floozy badflank mare and she’s gonna hurt him and he’s gonna cry and not listen to you because you don’t understand cuz you’re just his mother and what do you know!
>And he’s not gonna cuddle and he’s gonna hate you because that’s what teen fillies do, and those mares his age won’t respect him and try to wave their flanks in his face and...!
>WAIT.
>M-Maybe you could freeze his age with magic!
>That was super illegal necromantic magic, but who gives a buck, you raise the sun!
>You could always just turn anypony and their family into scorched earth if they started anything.
>Bring it filly! This is Mommas little boy and Mommas gonna do what she gotta do.
>Who’s gonna stop you? Your sister?
>She’s in the damn moon—she can’t do shit about this.
>A hand comes up and brushes against your neck and you spin around to see Anon looking worried.
>You realize you’ve been hyperventilating and you force yourself to calm down in front of your son.
>“Mom? You okay? You’re scaring me.”
 
>Your heart does a little flip at his adorable expression, and you open your mouth to reassure him but all that comes out is a little squeak.
>He’s so precious it hurts.
 
>Anon brings you into a hug, pushing the side of his face into your tuft.
>“It’s okay, Mom. Whatever this is, I’ll get through it somehow. I don’t want you worrying about me.”
 
>You wanted to hold him close and never let go and nuzzle that cute little foal face of his but a stiff something was pressing against your leg and h-holy you, he’s so bucking hard!
>Your motherly and marely instincts battled in your head as your breathing hitched and you felt yourself wink.
>Your body heated up, long buried instincts welling up from deep within as you breathed in his new, more stallion like scent.
>How did you not notice this level of change?
>M-Maybe you could just… relieve him.
>Yeah, that’d be fine.
>It’s not incest if you just use your mouth.
>Your mind wandered to the moment he’d seize up, maybe cry out for Momma has he blasted his hot male seed down your throat.
>You’d gulp it all down, not letting a drop go to waste and you’d tell him everything was okay, and to not hold back.
>Just let it all out, Sunshine. Mommas gonna take care of you.
>Your eyes widened.
>HOLY BUCK THAT WAS NOT AN OKAY THOUGHT.
 
>Anon let go of the hug and took a step back, moving his member away and just out of sightline.
>You took a breath, steadying your racing thoughts.
>Okay, just… calm down.
>You have to do the right thing, Celestia, even if it’s hard.
 
>And that’s why you had to stop this somehow, maybe not just freeze his age but reverse it a year or two.
>That’s when he started feeling this way, right?
>Buck it, you’d reverse it 3 for safe measure.
>Yeah, you just had to just make sure nobody noticed he was in puberty until you could pull his age back.
>How hard could that be?
 
>Cadence swung the door to your tearoom open and peered around, seeming to searching for something she couldn’t put her finger on.
>SHIT!
>SHE CAN SENSE THE LEWDS!
 
>>“Auntie,” Cadence said, after having looked around and seen only you and Anon hugging. >>“What’s that weird feeling in here? I’ve felt it before… I think it’s—”
 
“IT’S BECAUSE HE’S ADOPTED.”
 
>Both Anon and Cadence flinched and gave you a strange look.
>>”Really? Then how come I haven’t felt it before?”
 
“Oh, that. It’s because you’re still getting used to your special talent, my dear niece. Nothing more. Life has many surprises for you still.”
>In more ways than one, you suspect.
 
>She nodded slowly then gave a shrug.
“Well, I guess I’ll go back to reading then,” she said and turned to leave.
>Anon’s eyes were drawn to her flank as she turned and Cadence spun around and dashed back in the room.
“There it is again! And this time it was directed at me. But… wait… Autie...”
>Tears started to form in the corners of Cadences eyes and she sniffled.
“I’m adopted? Why didn’t my parents ever tell me.”
 
>Bucking goddammit...
 
By: Ephemeral
=======================================================================================================================================
>Bath time once again.
>Mom chased you all around the castle and managed to get herself stuck in a tree.
>"I am really not amused, mister! You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now."
"You're not the boss of me."
>"I am so the boss of you!"
"This is a democracy."
>"It may be a free country, but you live in my castle under my rules!"
"Whatever."
>"Don't use that tone of voice with me! You will do what I say when I say."
>You spy a decently sized mud puddle to wallow around in.
>Mom follows your gaze and her pupils shrink.
>You casually take a step toward the mud puddle.
>"What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister!"
>You stop right next to the mud puddle.
>"Do not go near that mud puddle! Prince Anonymous of Equestria, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle."
>"One."
>You inch closer to the mud puddle.
>"Two."
>You're literal centimeters away from the glorious mud bath you're about to partake in.
>"Two and a half."
>You lean over the mud puddle.
>"Don't make me say three!"
>You're leaning even further over the mud puddle, the smell of mud hitting your nostrils.
>"Anon! Anon!"
>Suddenly a tree limb snaps and her motherly form plummets directly towards you.
>With a huge splash, you look beneath you and see what can only be described as an over sized equine covered from head to hoof in mud.
>"I'm a dirty pony."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anon?"
"Oh, god, you're back."
>"Sunshine?"
"It's been 7 months, Celestia. 7 months of you breaking into my house at least once a week."
>"I'm just so worried about you!"
"Well, I'm worried about the shitty magical lock on my front door that can't even keep out a hopped-up unicorn!"
>Celestia chuckles good-naturedly at you and pats you on the back with a bare hoof, acting as though this exchange was some kind of game the two of you played.
>"Aww, is my little colt grumpy? It's nearly your bedtime, Anon."
"I swear to god, Celestia. I'm going to slap you so hard in the face if you keep this up."
 
Forced adoption when?
=======================================================================================================================================
"Happy birthday Sunshine!"
>Anon gleefully cheer as you remove your hooves away from his face, letting him see the massive cake and pile of gifts.
>"This is all for me?"
"Of course, but I hope you'll share some cake with mommy?"
>"A tiny slice, or you'll eat the whole thing yourself!"
>You both laugh loudly and hearty.
>"Auntie Lulu! You want cake too?"
>Your sister had apparently let herself in, standing in the doorway with a saddened look.
>"Sister, this isn't healthy."
"Oh I know, but its only once a year. My little Anon deserves it"
>Your son beams att you, face covered by cream.
>"Sister... Tia. You know I love you more that anything in Equestria. You know I cannot let this go on."
>Dread starts crawling up your back.
>"The longer you keep telling yourself this is real-"
"This is real! Anonymous is real! Look at him and admit he is real!"
>"M-mom? You're scaring me..."
"Oh sweetie... I'm so sorry! Come here..."
>You tenderly wrap the little human in a wing-hug, cooing a song to calm him.
>You could feel his warm body against yours.
>You could smell his hair...
>Deep down, you knew the truth.
>But its hurts to admit it.
>Tears flow as you press him closer before you are torn from your sunshine again.
 
>Meanwhile on earth, a young boy sits alone in a room at an orphanage.
>The pleasant feeling of a loving mother starts to fade.
>The details of her and that world seem too real to make them dreams, but if it is a dream he doesn't want to wake up from it.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Alright, nightcrawlers it's time for lover's line. First up is C from Canterlot, and she's curious about how to keep her younger lover."
>"What's your quandary, lil mama?"
>'I've recently struck up a relationship that's as equally physical as it is emotional, with a younger man.'
>"Daaayum, girl."
>'S-stop. Anyway, what I'm most curious about is how mature he is for his age. He's more genuine and kind than most men I've met.'
>"Are you his first?"
>'Oh yes, definitely.'
>"That could be it right there. Before they meet that first love, alot of young men have the 'emotional partner' role, filled by their mothers."
>"How is his relationship with his mother?"
>'It's wonderful, we couldn't have been closer until we began this kind of relationship.'
>"...I'm sorry, what?"
>'Yes, we're very close. Him and his Aunt as well. We're both wild about him. As a matter o-'
>"Heh, w-why uh...why don't we take a break so our listeners can brush up on their particular county's incest laws."
=======================================================================================================================================
 
>Celestia periodically kidnaps humans from Earth every couple hundred years; long enough for everypony and history to have forgotten about her adopted monkey creature
>Gets off to doing mom things (and "mom" things) to him
>"Sweetie, your first time is supposed to be special. And who's more special than mommy?"
>"Mommy's rump is sore from sitting down on the throne all day. Could you be a good little boy for her and massage it?"
>"Y-Yeah, hug me tighter, Anon. Mommy loves you toooOOOO~"
 
>Messages have been carved into the castles walls who have been kidnapped by celestia over the years.
 
>"PONIES DON'T GIVE EACHOTHER TONGUE BATHS"
 
>"YOUR FIRST TIME SHOULD NOT BE WITH YOUR MOM."
>There is a message below that one
>"Faggot."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"My little ponies were so cruel to you, my Sunshine; but not anymore. It's just you and me from now on, Anon. My beautiful baby boy is all I need."
 
>In another timeline, Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon are united by their love for Anonymous and mutual desires to rule a """peaceful""" Equestria
>"Devoted subjects, it is with great pleasure that my sister and I introduce to you, your Prince; My Day Slayer~."
>Anonymous rises from the throne betwixt his mother and aunt's
>'Yes, arise, Nephew.' Auntie murmured gently As she planted a kiss on his forehead
>'Our Misery Song.' She said lovingly
>The "DaySlayer" begins to blush and pulls his visor down
>Y-you too, Auntie
>The Prince's mother puts a wing around him, turning him to face his adoring populace
>"My wonderful boy; Defender of the solar realm-"
>'Precious Nephew;-..' His Aunt interrupts
>'For whom statues crumble for, the captain aboard her lunar deity's vessel of dreams~'
>Even the crowd begins to blush
 
>>The "DaySlayer" begins to blush and pulls his visor down
>>Y-you too, Auntie
 
>Mom and Aunt are evil monarchs running a dictatorship.
>The people's only saving grace is that to properly run a country and give results, their well being must be maintained.
>Tough luck if you complain about anything though, if any of them catch wind of it, it's dungeon time or a family trip to the moon all expenses paid.
>Anonymous has an edgy title to go with his mom and aunt
>He also wears appropriate edgemeister armor.
>Despite the armor that makes little foals cry and monikers like DaySlayer and Misery Song, Anon is still a socially awkward spaghettimancer.
>Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon just find it adorable and tease him constantly about it despite his failed attempts to be as edgy as them
 
>Mom & Auntie burned down another kindergarten when the colts and fillies made fun of your cape
>They assured you the neon colors and smileyfaces were 'very cool and with the current year'
 
>The color is so dark that nopony can even see all the menacing spikes and intricate details in the armor
>The helmet is made to be intimidating, but the design doesn't leave much space for the visor and Anon has trouble seeing out of it
>He has to lean down and have the pony directly in his line of sight just to SEE them
>The cape is purposefully ragged and torn, but there's no stitching holding the tears together ("Because then it wouldn't be torn up and cool, mom!") so the cape is prone to ripping long strips along the length of it when it snags on something (like one of the spikes on Anon's armor)
>The added width makes it so that Anon just barely cannot fit through a normal pony door, so he has to turn sideways and awkwardly shuffle into a room
>Frequently forgets to duck down, so the menacing spike (with skull patterns all over it; skull patterns that are invisible because everything is black) keeps banging on door frames
>The horns on the side look "demonic" (according to Anon), but they add enough weight to the helmet that it actually spins a bit when Anon moves his head, moving the tiny visor away from in front of Anon and rending him blind until he can twist it back around into place
>Platemail everywhere; Anon cannot move his limbs as much as usual and needs to be helped up if he ever falls over
>A billion pointless belts and chains (one of which is attached to his coin purse) do nothing but make the armor heavier
>Anon still thinks it's cool and wears it all the time, like he's a little kid with a new favourite costume that he won't take off
>Luna and Celestia think it's adorable how he's trying to be "just like mommy and auntie"
 
>has a bunch of other 'evil, despotic' friends
>princess ember, the dragon mistress
>their most recent conquest involved her father, Torch, driving them to a canterlot hayburger king, where they 'conquered' the indoor play area
=======================================================================================================================================
We need green of being Principal Celestia's son attending Canterlot High and being a delinquent, much to his mother's dismay.
 
>"Running in the halls. Tardy to pep rally's? OVERDUE LIBRARY FINES TOTALLING 3.28?"
>"A-anonymous, my sunshine..tell me it's not true..."
>'You're seein' it with your own eyes, ma..the detention slips don't lie.'
 
>Hangs out with an unreformed Sunset Shimmer, loitering in the halls and being a general nuisance to both the student body and the faculty.
>Doesn't go straight home anymore to wait for mommy, in fact he's staying out late and skipping dinners.
>Coming home at 10 PM isn't proper at all.
>Principal Celestia is beside herself with worry. Anon wasn't this way before, he was her little ray of sunshine.
>Fears that Sunset is stealing away her little Anon and steering him onto the wrong path.
>Afraid a girl like her will taint his innocence further.
>What if Anon and her are holding hands without Celestia giving Anon the talk?
=======================================================================================================================================
"Good mommies get uppies, you know."
>"F-Fine, you can have the last slice of cake!"
 
>"You can't just..fuckin', like, TAKE all the cakes, mom."
>'Yes huh, I can so! Nyah~'
>"Ooh, I know one Princess whose only going to get half tucked in tonight unless she puts that tongue away.."
>'S-sorry! Sorry, d-don't leave mommy untucked, sweetheart! The boogermare will get me!'
=======================================================================================================================================
The fridge is where you'd put a fucking spelling test or something, dude.
The Prince's piece de resistance, that's going in the hall. No spongebob refs xd
>"Quickly, Sister! Do away with this dated, pedestrian scribbles and let us make way for Dear Nephew's most recent artistic genius."
>Your mom's already incinerated Ponie Matisse's sad crying clown painting and hung yours up in it's place
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia sneaks into Anon's bed at night sometimes when she's feeling lonely and wants a cuddle
>....In Anon's house in Ponyville
>"Anon is such stubborn little guy. Can you believe he doesn't want to live in Mommy's castle?"
>>"Well, you sort of dropped the 'All I see is a foal in need of a mother' thing on him pretty suddenly. Maybe you should talk to him before trying to abduct/adopt him."
>"Nonsense."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh therrrre you are, my sweetheart~"
>"I guess it just wasn't snug enough in the waistline of my delicates..perhaps you need to stay tucked into mommy's bra."
>'Yeah OR you could just unshrink me.'
>"Mmm, what? S-sorry, can't hear you." She says picking you up and placing you between her "suns"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia tried to be impartial to Twilight and Anon's disputes and has put up with a lot
>Twilight wanted to learn more about his species and had a bit of an obsession with him, and Anon was uncharacteristically mean to her in return
>Celestia's patience runs out and she locks Anon and Twilight in a room together
>"And you aren't coming out until you put aside your differences and start getting along!"
>Celestia has a satisfying and quiet next few hours
>Comes back to check up on her son and her most faithful student
>Opens the door
>The stench of sweat and sex washes over her like a wave
>Twilight and Anon are in a corner of the room, asleep
>Anon is naked and Twilight is covered in his fluids
>Cue the next morning: Twilight respects Anon's wishes more (no more spying on him in the shower, etc), and Anon only calls her a purple cunt twice during breakfast
=======================================================================================================================================
>"'Oh Auntie, you might be Vice Principal of the school, but you're the ..uhh R-regular Principal of my heart.'"
>'N-nephew, please..' Auntie says as she stops making his portrait speak
>"'Mmm yes, pleasing my cool and still very sexy Auntie is what I intend to do."'
>'Anonymous, I...' She trails off, bringing the senior portrait of her Nephew ever closer to her puckered lips
>"Luna, let's get a move on, we're going off campus for lunch with Ano-..nymous" Mom says entering Auntie's office
>'Prithy, Sister, t-the scene before you is not as it appears!'
>'Twas a smudge on our dear nephew's picture!'
 
>Vice Principal Luna secretly has a crush on her nephew anon
More.
 
>so does Principal Celestia. Neither sister knows that they are both attracted to Anon.
>Anon is completely oblivious
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Uh, mom? You know there's a trail of my boxers leading to your room, right?"
>'Oh is there?~ I hadn't noticed...just like I hadn't noticed how big and strong you're getting.'
>"...Ok, well, um..I'll just take my laundry back and-"
>'Anonymouslet'shavesex!'
>"What?"
>'N-nothing, sunshine, uh, I sneezed! B-blasted allergies..'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Your alarm clock blares its piercing scream, signaling the morning has come.
>You instinctively reach for the off button and press it.
>Eyes slowly opening, you peer over to your alarm clock to see the time.
>7:00 AM.
>Fucking hell.
>It's Saturday for crying out loud.
>Waking up this early should be a crime.
>But you didn't have a choice, your mother forbidding you to sleep in on weekends.
>"You'll thank me when you're older." She said.
>Fuck that noise.
>You weren't an adult yet, why should you be deprived of being able to sleep in?
>But you knew mom was serious, and you didn't want her busting down your door to shake you out of your sleep.
>You throw the covers off yourself and lower your legs over the side of the bed.
>You did not feel well rested at all.
>Maybe splashing some water in your face would help you get going.
>Not like you had anything to do today.
>You stand up and make your way to the bathroom down the hall.
>Leaving your room you blink repeatedly, trying to adjust to the darkness that still covers the hallway.
>It must still be dark outside.
>Why are you awake again?
>Taking slow steps toward the bathroom you glance to your left to see inside your mom's room.
>Sprawled across her bed, limbs stretching in every direction, was your mother Celestia.
>Being the principal of the local high school she naturally had to be awake very early most days.
>Today however she appeared to be sleeping in, much to your indignation.
>You stomp towards her bed, prepared to forcefully rouse her from her slumber and give her a piece of your mind.
>But as you reach the side of the bed you notice her head sitting near the edge.
>Her mouth was wide open, a bit of slobber running down her cheek.
>Must've been a long night for her.
>Probably paperwork or something.
>She's snoring lightly.
>Mr. Happy from down under decides this piques his interests.
>You can't blame him.
>You heard from a couple of your friends the hidden pleasures of sleeping blowjobs.
>You've even seen a few videos of it in action, usually with an actress faking sleep.
>You didn't think it was actually possible.
>Mr. Happy on the other hand was all too eager to give it a shot.
>You shoot your boner a contemptuous look but it doesn't shy away from your harsh gaze.
>Oh well, what do you have to lose?
>Your self respect, your mother's love for you, your semen.
>Oh, right. Those things.
>You gingerly lower your hand toward your mother's face and snap your fingers.
>Again and again.
>Nothing. No reaction at all.
>Your mother's out cold.
>This pleases the dick.
>Weighing the risks you decide to at least try.
>This might be the only opportunity you'll ever have to get a tongue bath from your mother.
>The erection you were sporting was big but it could be bigger.
>You grab hold of your mom's sheets in both hands and toss them aside, revealing pale white skin with a tinge of pink.
>She's only wearing a bra and panties, both a similar shade of pink.
>You blush immediately, seeing her half naked form.
>So she doesn't wear any night clothes when she sleeps.
>You make a mental note to remember that for later monkey spanking sessions.
>Gazing upon her smooth skin, you see her pillowy mounds barely contained in a bra that's obviously too small for her.
>Maybe she just wears it to bed instead of simply throwing it out.
>With every inhale her breasts rise and fall.
>It's almost mesmerizing in a way.
>Dick is now at full mast Captain.
>You strip off your underwear to free your member of its confines.
>Standing at the edge of her bed you rub your dick on her cheek.
>Some pre leaks out and you decide to get down to business.
>Grabbing your manhood, you line it up with your mother's mouth.
>The tip just barely grazing her soft lips.
>It's now or never.
>With slight apprehension you thrust forward.
>You're met with incredible warmth the further you slide in.
>Haze clouds your vision and you quickly hilt in your mother's throat.
>This is better than anything you could have imagined.
>Mom's throat felt heavenly against your meat.
>Pulling back out, she groans in her sleep.
>You instantly freeze, heart pounding in your chest.
>You pray it's just a dream and she's not gaining consciousness.
>If she were to wake up now there'd be no explaining your way out of the situation with your dick stuffed in her mouth.
>Thankfully she seems to have quieted down and you resume pulling out.
>Her muffled groans did wonders to your junk though.
>The vibrations it created made you arch your back in newfound pleasure.
>You were almost tempted to lightly slap her to get her to do it again.
>Wait, that's a terrible idea.
>Your judgment is being clouded by the gratifying feeling of warm walls suckling on your thing.
>You do a double take, eyes wide at this new development.
>Your mother's actually suckling your cock.
>The sensation completely blows away anything you could accomplish with your hand.
>That must be some dream she's having.
>You rest there for a while, dick halfway in her mouth, cherishing the feeling of a girl sucking your dick.
>A part of your mind reminds you this is your mother.
>The woman who gave birth to you.
>However that small part of of your mind was quickly drowned out by the sensuality of the situation.
>It wasn't like your mother was old and unattractive.
>Quite the opposite actually, as you scan her voluptuous breasts again.
>What you wouldn't give to see her girls in full glory again.
>Why not now? You've already gone this far.
>Your hand lunges at her bra strap to free the soft flesh underneath.
>It's hard with only one hand but you manage.
>With a pop the bra loosens and you pull it down to reveal two beautiful mounds.
>They weren't totally unfamiliar to you of course.
>You were breastfed by this nice pair of tits many times in your life.
>But that was well over a decade ago.
>Seeing them now was completely different.
>In fact one could say it was very
>Naaaaaaughty
>You knew your mother was busty but this was ridiculous.
>You throb in her mouth at the sight.
>You grab her tit with your free hand and feel the texture of it.
>Extremely soft you noted.
>She moaned a bit at the contact.
>Looking at her nearby clock you see the time.
>7:30 AM
>Might wanna hurry before she wakes up.
>You shove your cock back down her throat as she continues her light suckling.
>Combined it makes for the best blowjob you've ever received.
>The only blowjob you've ever received you remind yourself.
>You never thought your mother would be your first.
>Looking down at her sleeping features makes it all the more erotic.
>You can feel your sack tighten.
>You weren't going to last much longer at the rhythm you were going.
>The thought suddenly crossed your mind as your impending orgasm reared its head.
>Should you nut inside or on her face?
>Well that seemed obvious.
>She would definitely feel cold jizz on her face when she woke up.
>But she might also taste it in her mouth as well.
>You'll take your chances with cumming inside.
>You place both hands on the other side of her pillow for grip and force your dick inside as far as it'll go.
>Bracing yourself for the onslaught of pleasure you're about to experience, you close your eyes and try to contain a quiet moan.
>The first rope of cum shoots directly down her throat.
>You feel yourself going blind as your dick pulses with each glob of semen ejecting from it.
>You ride the orgasm for a while, still dribbling cum every so often.
>Afterglow has never felt this good, but all good things must come to an end.
>You slowly withdraw yourself from your mother's mouth, an extra shock of pleasure riding up your spine as your tip brushes past her lips.
>You observe your handiwork.
>Your mother was still drooling, although her saliva looked distinctly more white.
>Her tits were still exposed and you could see the cold air was making her nipples erect.
>Better cover them back up before you forget.
>No way you'd be able to strap the whole bra back on though.
>Oh well, she'll probably think it broke in her sleep.
>Pulling the covers back over her sleeping form you hastily leave the room, making sure not to make a sound.
>Making a move for the bathroom you realize you feel pretty awake now, so you skip splashing water in your face and just head to the kitchen for breakfast.
>That blowjob almost made waking up early on a Saturday worth it.
>Almost.
 
The End.
=======================================================================================================================================
Aunt's are people, too.
>"Oh, he is so adorable, Sister!"
>Auntie Moon makes funny faces and baby speak noises at her toddler nephew
>"Can you say 'Nightmare Moon', little one?"
>'Nii-..nymare moo..-..n--..Nyx!'
>Mom busts out laughing
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom imbues Anon with alicorn magic because 'I can't always be there, sweetheart, and what if next time you don't have a shoe or a newspaper to squash a gross bug with?'
 
"Unlimited power!"
>"Your highness, please stop with the lightning bolts. You're frightening the maids."
"Are you threatening me, master Jedi?"
>"Of course not sir, though may I ask what a Jedi is?"
"It's treason then"
 
Fun.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Anon.
>Dating hasn't been going that well recently.
>So what if you've had an 18 year dry spell?
>Having your mom as the principal didn't help your social life at all, everyone was just scared or intimidated by her.
>So that's where the magic of online dating sites comes in.
>Because you will not be ending your teenage years a virgin.
>You made a ton of profiles on a lot of different sites trying to cast a wide net.
>Some are even kink sites, because who doesn't like a kinky girl?
>You got a message from one of them, so you're logging on to see who it's from.
>She must have liked your profile pic.
>Who doesn't like a good dick pic?
>Now let's see...
>Wait a minute...
>MOM!?
>You'd know that face anywhere.
>It looks like there's attachments to the message.
>What are you going to do?
>...
>Maybe, maybe you should open it.
>Just to see what she sent.
>She probably didn't send any naked pics or anything.
>Besides, even if she did it's not like it's anything you haven't seen already since her and Auntie Luna like to walk around the house naked.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Please promise me you'll bundle up next time, Anonymous, you humans don't have a natural coat like ponies."
>'Yeah ok, "MOM"..'
>Hfw
 
"He called me 'mom', Luna!"
>"Celestia, that doesn't mean anything. From what you told me, it sounds like he was being sarcastic."
"B-But we bonded! He let me hug him and now he has my scent on him; his mother will never take him back!"
>"That doesn't... what?"
"He needs me, Luna."
And on that day, an unhealthy obsession was born. An obsession that mostly involved non-consensual snuggles, wing-hugs, and insisting that Anon spending the day with her could be his birthday present to Celestia.
 
Actually, has there ever been an emotionally manipulating momlestia?
>Celestia hounds Anon, obsessed with having him as a son who needs her
>Points out how his pony neighbors still haven't accepted him
>Anon starts noticing all the times ponies have crossed the street to avoid passing him, all the dirty looks he gets, etc
>This may or may not be true; Celestia's words may have influenced Anon to make incorrect observations or to look back at his memories with a negative bias
>Anon starts to feel more alone and more ostracized and starts to enjoy Celestia's company more and more because she is (allegedly, if he believes what she's saying) the only pony in Canterlot who appreciates Anon and wants him around
>Celestia tries to convince him that he'll never be happy on his own, that he needs someone like her to take care of him
>"Haven't you ever had a bad day and wanted somepony to hug? Of course you have; everypony has days like that. And who kindly opened up their arms and held you until you felt better?"
>"Your friends?"
>"No, of course they wouldn't. But they'd do it for any of their other friends, you know."
>"Just not you."
>After Anon has a long, miserable string of lonely nights, Celestia visits
>She hugs Anon, and he doesn't resist
>He buries his face in her chest and hugs her tightly
>She invites him to stay in the castle, and asks if he wants to stay with her "for a little while?"
>Smiles when she feels him nod 'yes' into her fur
=======================================================================================================================================
>You're playing Doom on LAN with Aunt Luna and your other gaming pony friends
>Your mom keeps showing up in the middle of matches with snacks.
>about every 3 minutes.
>when you ask her if she wants to play too, she tries to act like she doesn't, but it's obvious she does
>you regret letting her play when she camps the BFG spawn
>calls it 'Mommy's green sun of love' and makes kissing noises when she fires it.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"AYYY, HOWS BOUT YOU BRING DAT OVER HEA', EH SWEETHAHT?"
>"OOOH, DO FRIES COME WIT DAT SHAKE?"
>Mom hipchecks the jukebox
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE_jOD2Fxvs
>"Anonymous, if you'd de me's da honor of goin' steady and bein' my sunshine, you'd make me da happiest princess on shark's turf."
>"...I need an answer sooner than later, though, ya auntie and I have dat rumble with the jet's at 3 today."
=======================================================================================================================================
Cousin Condense is for light-hearted peetzer themed adventures and pranks
She's not all there in the head since the time she exhausted her magic keeping a shield over the crystal empire.
>"P-peetzer!"
>'That's right, Condense, we're in the palace aviary.'
>"Hmm..peetzer peetzer..peetzer peetz."
>'I know, it takes a real dedication to ones craft in order to create figures and shapes like these.'
>"H-heh, peetzer peetzer peetz!"
>'Oh stop, I'm sure Shiny doesn't "hate" fun. He's just a stickler for the ruurs like his sister.'
>"P-peetzer..."
>'No, it's ok, mom set up an alert system so that we know when she's coming.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Time travel is involved
>Anon finds a pair of abandoned fillies who have wings and horns
>Raises them into teen-hood
>Is a beloved father
>Suddenly, disappears
>Celestia and Luna send out countless search parties, but they give up after a number decades, thinking that by that point Anon's years would have caught up to him
>"I don't think daddy said that humans really live to 120, Luna. We have to know when to say goodbye."
>Meanwhile, just a hair over a thousand years later (or however many thousands of years have passed), Anon appears in the middle of a complex summoning circle
>Luna and Celestia, adults now, are on top of him in seconds, crying and hugging him
>The summoning spell they used (after their interest in finding him was resparked) had grabbed him from the past and was the very reason he disappeared in the first place
>Equestria is confused: who is that bipedal creature that the Princesses lavish over?
>The sheer amount of adoration they show for him almost makes them look like family
>Now why in the world would the Princesses adopt such a strange creature as their son?
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Hello, my sunshine! It is I, your conscience!"
>'NO NOT AGAIN DAMNIT.'
>"Ohohoh~ Silly boy, don't you remember? Nopony else can see me?"
>'I d-don't wanna steal any cakes or crash a filly's birthday party, mom...'
>"Hmm, that's funny, I don't remember GIVING YOU A CHOICE IN THE MATTER. SWEET. HEART."
>"Now let's go, we're burning daylight and my calorie count is only the billions."
=======================================================================================================================================
>That's it, Anon. You never leave the house, you haven't made any friends, and you spend more than half the day in bed. If you want to be a scared little boy so much then so be it. It's nappies for you from now on.
 
"What are you doing in my house, Princess?"
>"You aren't behaving like an adult, Anon. Weren't you listening to mommy?"
"Wha-'mommy'? Look, just... none of that was true, Princess. I've got a job that I have to be up at 5 AM for, so I never spend half the day in bed."
>"Oh yeah? Then what did I see when I looked through your window yesterday afternoon?"
"Jesus, why were you looking through my-you know what? Not important. Not that it's any of your business, but I was taking a nap because I was feeling tired from work."
>"Hmph. Well, I can see I can't argue with you when you're tantruming like that. What abou-"
"I'm not tantruming, Princess."
>"What abo-"
"I haven't even raised my voice."
>"WHAT ABOUT! What about how you don't have any friends!?"
"In what way don't I have any friends? Celestia, I go out drinking with about 6 other ponies from work every Friday night. I babysit their horse-kids all the time."
>"..."
"..."
>"...Why did you have to move out of the castle and leave me, just like everyone else I love?!"
"What do you mean, love?! I only stayed in the castle for a few months after I fell ass-backwards into Equestria, you crazy horse!"
>"Anon, if you insist on being naughty, then I'm going to have to-"
"What are you doi-stop that! Put that fucking thing down!"
>"Language, young stal-ouch!"
"Get out of my house!"
>"Anon! Ano-ANON! Anon, don't you dare! Don't you push me out the front doo-ANON!"
>SLAM
>BANG BANG BANG
>"OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, YOUNG STALLION"
>...
>DING DONG
>DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
>Damn it, he's not answering.
>You are Princess Celestia, and you have failed once more to convince Anon to let you treat him like your precious baby foal.
>Empty Nest Syndrome's been a real bitch ever since Twilight left for Ponyville, and it doesn't look like you'll getting any help from Anon.
>...
>Maybe the diaper was too much.
 
"Oh, god dammit, FINE. One wee-"
>"Oh, thank you sweetie!"
"ONE WEEK!"
>Celestia wraps you up in a tight (but not too tight) hug and nuzzles the top of your head with her cheek.
>"I promise you won't regret this!"
"I already am."
>"What's that, dear?"
"I said, I don't think I can."
>Celestia giggles happily at you and holds you tightly against her chest tuft.
>"D'aww!"
>Your new "mother" presses a kiss onto the top of your head and purrs in contentment.
>"And you don't have to worry about that silly diaper, sunshine. Mommy knows you're a big boy."
"Christ."
>Celestia pulls back and holds you out at arm's length and gives you the biggest, most happiest smile you've ever seen.
>Even her mane seems to have perked up a bit; you can see little starbursts exploding rapidly, as though every single part of her is excited to have you around.
>"But not big enough to sleep in his own bed without mommy!"
>This is going to be a long seven days, isn't it?
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Starlight switches Luna and Celestia's cutie marks to teach them a lesson or whatever
>While Celestia is doing Luna's dream duties, she decides to check up on Anon
>He's dreaming about being a child again, with her as his mother
>She watches for far longer than she probably should
>In all her long lifetime, motherhood was one of the few things she hasn't experienced
>Seeing little Anon and herself interacting so affectionately filled her stomach with butterflies, and she has to blink tears out of her eyes when he calls her 'Mommy'
>She eventually forces herself to tear away from the scene, but it sticks with her even after her and Luna return to their normal roles
>Meanwhile, Anon drags himself out of bed
>He had the weird dream about Celestia being his Mom again
>There must be something in the water, because he's been having a lot of very strange dreams lately
>Maybe Luna's just fucking with him
>He checks the mail and discovers a summons from Canterlot; Celestia wants to talk to him
>While the main body of the invitation is fairly formal, it gets weirdly personal elsewhere
>Especially the salutation
"With Love, Celestia~"
>No title, name only, and that tilde is unmistakeable
>Celly wants to bang
>It's about damn time, he's been here for almost two years and he's had absolutely none of the horsepussy that /mlp/ promised in their greens
>He didn't expect to start so high though; hopefully Celestia doesn't ruin him for the other mares
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Mom will never embarrass you in front of the cutest girls in school.
>"This reminds me of my college days when I used to have fun with girls."
 
>Drunk mom will never try to hook up.
>"My son's dick is big and you'll have a good time I can vouch for that."
 
>Anon later walks in seeing Fluttershy and Sunset sucking both of Mom's nipples while she is stroking their hair.
 
>"Look nonny! I am the best mother!"
 
>"Pick the one you want hun."
>Anon fucks mom while her sucking Flutter's nips and fingers Sunset.
 
>After Anon cums inside his mother. Momlestia makes Sunset and Fluttershy clean her out at the same time.
 
Just how kinky is shimmy and butterball are to go forward in a foursome involving a milf and her son! I love this
 
>Celestia would make them trib against her son's dick and tells them that if she calls either one of them to her office to have them eat out her and Luna.
>Celestia loves her son but prefers a girl's touch when it comes to oral.
>She also wants both of them to carry her grandchildren.
 
>Celestia gets drunk and tries to hook you up with one of your female friends
>You can hear her constantly mutter under her breath about marriage and grandchildren
>You just wanted to get through high school
>You didn't ask for this
 
Time for Cap'n Smackaho-whos-getting-too-close-to-my-newphew to save the day
>Your Aunt firmly believes her and your mother have forever spoiled you for other women
>"Won't it be wonderful, Luna? Oh I can hear the wedding bells already!"
>Aunt Luna studies the photograph
>'..How horrid. One has been god knows where, and the other is the janitors cock sleeve.'
>Goes back to drinking her wine and stroking your hair as you lie in her lap
>'He deserves nothing but the best, and that is what I, should YOU pass up that gift, intend to give him.'
>"You KNOW I want that as well, but it-"
>'Shh! Look, he's dreaming...'
>[Zzz...could use some bbq sauce but not bad..Zzz]
>'How darling!' Auntie says in a hushed tone
>Mom stifles a giggle
>"It sounds like it's that kitty dream again.."
>'Ha ha..eat all those kittens, Nephew.'
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Celestia nearly catches Anon getting to frisky with a girl.
>Doesn't want illegitimate heirs to the throne.
>So every morning, sneaks into Anon's room and blows him.
>Being a 10-12 foot tall Amazon, she picks him up side down so he can't struggle.
>She keeps sucking him dry until their isn't a drop of semen left in his balls.
>Anon's resorts to taking supplements to increase his loads.
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Celestia has raised Anon from infancy
>Because of how close Twilight and Celestia were during her childhood, him and Twilight are practically siblings
>When Twilight became friends with the mane 6, Anon made sure to meet them and become friends with them as well
>They are all invited to his sixteenth birthday, and Celestia asks then to stay over after
>When they are all together, Celestia drops a hell of a bombshell
>She reveals that, technically, Elements of Harmony are a royal title, and that the title comes with certain responsibilities
>One of those responsibilities being to carry on the Royal Bloodline
>Meaning that they're all supposed to let Anon impregnate them
>As they stare on in stunned silence, Celestia makes sure to let them know that she isn't going to force anything on them, and that she's only bringing it up because she thinks that them and Anon would make a great herd
>Pinkie and Fluttershy are fine with the idea, but Rainbow and Rarity are offended
>Fluttershy is a bit intimidated by romance, but she's already comfortable with Anon and likes him
>Pinkie is already thinking up baby names
>Rainbow insists that she doesn't want to be a mom, at least not yet; she's worked too hard to get into the Wonderbolts just to throw it all away now
>Rarity's idealistic vision of romance doesn't include arranged marriage
>Applejack is conflicted; she doesn't really like the idea of being out of work for months while pregnant, but she thinks Anon's a good guy who would make a good dad
>Twilight is confused and torn
>She loves Anon, but not like that
>At least she thinks she doesn't
>He's like a brother to her
>Maybe?
>They grew up together, and now Celestia is encouraging them to do sex to each other
>It's gross!
>...sort of...
>And Anon is embarrassed that his Mom pulled this little stunt in front of his friends
>Meanwhile, Luna is scheming ways to tip the scales in her nephew's favor
>Starting by digging through their dreams to see how everyone really feels
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Oh no, this isn't my bedroom at all~"
Do you think being a single mother, she'd be comfortable wearing revealing casual clothes or next to nothing around the house when her sons there?
 
>You wake up to the sight (and sound) of your mom tugging your pyjama pants down your legs
>You stare at her
>She stares at you
>"Th... this isn't the refrigerator..."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >mommy will never be your only and best friend
 
>"Man, poor Anon, he's got to take every meal at that table over there with his mom & aunt."
>'Yeesh..eating lunch with your principal mom & vp aunt? Better him than me.'
>"I can't tell if his expression is begging for death or hoping there's an end..."
>Meanwhile Anonymous tries to get through his fajita dippers and mashed potatoes while being jerked off by his mom & aunt
 
She's that and so much more. She'll raise you into a man, but it's on you to prove your worth.
>Mom sits on your lap facing you
>Weird, you two just put your clothes back on
>"Anonymous, do you know how much I love you?"
>You nod
>"I..I don't want to send any mixed messages, sweetheart, so I'll just come out and say it."
>"I never want to stop loving you. I never want us to lose this. This everything; we're much more than just mother and son now."
>You hug mom tightly
>'I'd never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, mom. I'm curious though, what brought this on? Did I do something wrong?'
>"Anonymous, my sunshine, no, ofcourse not. This was just mommy's way of saying she'd be really turned on by a man with goals..."
>Oh. OOOH.
>"A man who maybe gets a part-time job or two, or he could go to college- HERE, college here.."
>Mom was basically telling you that showing initiative was how to get her hot as fuck
>"Let me get those dishes, mom."
>'Haa~'
>"Mom, stop, allow me to change that bulb."
>"O-oh god.."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"..'She knew it was wrong, and yet there they were; the two of them entangled in a passionate lovers embrace.'.."
>"..'Could this really be? The boy she'd raised into a young man was satisfying her most primal urge-'"
>'Hey, just popping in to say g'night, mom. Love you.'
>"N-NOTHING! Uh, I mean y-you too, my sunshine."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Oh hush, this is nice, just us spending time together."
>"Besides, how many other Prince's can say they took a driving test on their mom?"
>"..Don't be shy about using that riding crop, either, k?"
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"-'s pretty much what mom said your nightly duties entailed."
>'Preposterous! Our nightly duties entail no such happenings!'
>"..Ok, she might've exaggerated on a few but you did prance around saying you were 'the night' earlier."
>'W-WE DID NOT THINK WE WERE BEING WATCHED!'
=======================================================================================================================================
 No. In fact Tempest Shadow is your new mother
 
>The doors to the throne room open slowly with a deafening creak, as you enter.
>You see Momlestia, Luna and an unknown unicorn standing in the center of the room, quietly speaking.
"Uh...hello? You called for me?"
>Momlestia gives you a gentle smile.
>Luna has an unsure expression, and the unicorn is sizing you up. At least you think it;s a unicorn. There's a stump where the horn normally is.
>"I'm glad you came so quickly. I have some urgent news for you, my child."
"Okay..."
>You approach the three, slipping nervous hands into your pocket.
>Celestia takes a deep breath.
>"Luna and I feel....Hm."
>She puts a hoof to her mouth as if in thought.
>"Luna and I--"
>She stops again.
>"We think you're becoming spoiled, and unruly Anonymous."
>Luna lays all the cards on the table, then and there much to her sister's displeasure.
"Spoiled and unruly?! Me?"
>Celestia glares at Luna who merely shrugs.
>"You've displayed "odd" behavior as of late, and it concerns us, and after hours of discussion we both arrived at the conclusion, that you need discipline."
"WHAT. I'M THIRTY YEARS OLD."
>Celestia balls up her lips as if not trying to cry.
>"Please don't make this harder than it has to be son!"
"Jesus Christ."
>You pinch the bridge of your nose.
>"So we think it'd be best if you had a DIFFERENT mommy for a little bit...?"
"Or I could move out."
>They all look at you like you're talking nonsense.
>"Don't be unreasonable Anonymous. It's only for a week!"
=======================================================================================================================================
 No. In fact Tempest Shadow is your new mother
 
>Be Tempest Shadow
>Mareing your badass airship of doom
>SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL THE FLAT EDGES MAKE IT COOL
>Everything seems to be going well in your conquest of the varying lands below you
>Suddenly you end up face down ass up against the front viewing glass
>Damn is it Friday night already you don't remember getting drunk enough for this shit
>Prying yourself up slowly from the slightly cracked glass the airship rocks back and slowly rights itself
>After a minute the ship lurches back and forth slightly, a wailing racking the walls as the ship starts to rock violently
"342! I want answers now!"
>One of your many soldiers, simply refereed to as 342, there are hundreds of these guys and there is literally know difference, do you expect me to memorise that many names? and also the pilot of your ship stands at attention before you
>"Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am, seems they're having problems down in the engine rooms"
"You can fix it right?"
>"um well-"
"The next word out of your mouth had better be right or I will break my hoof off inside you"
>"hey then it might match her horn"
>You swivel your ears to catch the direction of the words but all you hear is a series of snorts and muffled chuckles
>You must have hit your head harder than you thought considering you haven't dropped these dregs out of your ship yet
>"Sorry ma'am but it isn't a technical issue, they think it might be sabotage"
>You go stock still at that and slowly twist your neck to face 342 again
"Sabotage?"
>342 shrinks at your glare but holds his ground surprisingly well
>"We- we're sorry ma'am they're doing all they can"
>Taking a deep breath you slowly calm yourself
>You must have picked up a straggler that didn't agree with your methods at your last stop
>You could use a way to blow off a little steam anyway
"Tell them not to bother, I'll deal with it"
>With a salute he scuttles away and you make your way down into the depths of the ship
>As you get further down you start to hear more wails and bangs, getting louder and louder the further in you go
>Eventually you come across a group of engineers armed with some old pipes and tools, sporadically banging away at the walls and ceilings
"That's quite enough"
>Their heads snap to face towards you
>Dropping their tools they exchange awkward glances before shuffling past you
>Taking another deep breath you focus on your surroundings
>Past the hisses and groans
>*THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK*
>Well that wasn't too hard
>Looking up at the ventilation shaft you notice a series of dents running along it
>Honestly, you can never get a good saboteur these days, there's no subtly anymore
>A sudden rock of the ship slams you into the wall
>Little bugger must have gotten into the wires
>You shake yourself out of the daze a higher than expected laugh coming from the vent
"Ohoho you find that funny do you? How do you like it?"
>With that you spend onto your forelegs, contracting them and your hindlegs, launching yourself at the vent you slam a resounding buck into them bring it crashing down
>You may not have thought this through as the intruder ends up on top of you
>"Ow my head"
>Quickly getting onto your hooves you take up a stance ready for a fight only to come face to face with a kid?
>You mean, it might be a kid, weirdest looking kid you've ever seen, and you've seen bipedal fish
>It rocks back and forth, cradling it's head with dulled and rounded claws
>You hear a small whimper from it and see small tears leaking from the corner of it's eyes
>Crap you were expecting grizzled mercs not this
>Hesitantly you trot up beside it and give it a small pat and rub on it's back
>You don't know whether this is doing anything or not but at least it isn't whimpering anymore
>You feel a small tug as your hoof gets grabbed by the small green creature
>You totally didn't yelp or anything
>Looking up you make eye contact with it and it inspects you with smaller eyes than you've seen before
>They're sharp almost, if this is a child then the adults would most likely be unnerving
>It's body seems to relax, at least it isn't gonna cry, however it does end up slumping against your face
>This is where you draw the line
>Standing up you attempt to shake it off, to no avail
>Strong grip you'll give it that
"Let go"
>"No"
"Let. Me. Go"
>"Nope"
"Do you know who I am"
>You droop your muzzle, hoping that gravity will drag it off you
>"I know you're a stranger"
"I am Commander Tempest Shadow, now release me"
>"Temp- temper- tempo shiggy?"
>Is this kid serious?
"No. I am Tempest Shadow. Gah I don't have time for this"
>You try shaking your head a bit more vigorously this time
>You could scrape it off on the wall but it's a kid, you're evil, not a monster
>Finally feeling the weight lift off your muzzle you scan the area to see the creature had vanished
>Did you hit your head on the wall that hard?
>"Hello"
>You are startled to find an upside down green face staring at you
>You can feel your eye twitching
>Blowing a puff of air into it's face seems to make it retreat
>In a fit of laughter
>Which you refuse yo find cute
>You let out a groan and decide to dump it off on one of your subordinates, maybe they'll lose it somewhere
>Lazily trotting along you begin to make your way back to the bridge
>"Hey Grape lady, what are you?"
>With that you stop as soon as you started
"Excuse you?"
>"What are you? I've never seen anything like you before"
"No no no, what did you call me?"
>"Grape lady?"
"Yeah that, don't call me that"
>"Then what can I call you"
"Oh I don't know maybe my name?"
>"But it's hard to remember and you're coloured like a grape, that's easier to remember right"
>You have officially lost all fucks to give and continue you on your way
"Whatever kid, and for your information I am a unicorn mare"
>"How come you don't got a horn like one then?"
"OK ground rules, rule number 1, don't mention the horn ok?"
>"ok"
>He answers in barely a whisper at your tone and thankfully quietens down for a good part of the journey
>Sadly it doesn't last
>The ship rocks again causing you to lose your footing and for the child to lose it's grip on you
>Nearly falling off it grabs onto your mane and drags you along slightly
>Righting yourself you tug your head back and bring him back onto you
>The ship slowly rights itself and you continue on
>The panting coming from behind you slowly quietens down and you feel the grip on your mane tighten
>With a flick you bring it out of its grasp
"Ok, time for rule number 2, don't touch the mane"
>"Oh, um ok"
>You feel him patting around on your back, eventually settling for wrapping his arms around your neck
>His limbs are a lot thinner than other creatures
>Is it even male? It's voice seems to deep to be a female child
>Whatever, not your kid, not your problem
>Finally starting to relax a bit you feel your mane being pat down
"Oy, what did I just say?"
>You feel it start slightly on your back
>"Sorry Grape, it's just it was kinda messy and I wanted to fix it cause it's, well-"
"What?"
>"Pretty?"
>You scoff at the comment as well as the heat rising in your cheeks
>You need to get back up to the AC filled bridge
"What's your name anyway? Do you even have one"
>"Oh yeah, I'm Nameless Incognito"
"Alright Anon it is"
>"But that isn't my name-"
>You can hear the annoyance in his voice and it brings a smirk to your face
"and mine isn't Grape, we can't both get what we want now can we?"
>You hear a huff and feel him rest his head against your neck
>As you finally start making some progress you feel him return to playing with your mane
>You want to stop him but it'd be too much a hassle, you're tired and it helps you relax a little
>Finally stepping on to your bridge, all eyes for once aren't on you but Anon
>Sitting down, you slide him off your back and make your way over to 342 to have some words with him
>"Ah ma'am I see you've found the issue"
"The only real issue I found was incompetency, please teach your engineers how to handle problems without banging their tools on the walls"
>"Yes ma'am, um I'll just uh, take the small thing off your hooves and dispose of it"
>"Grape!"
>You feel Anon latch onto you legs tightly and the slight quaver in his voice causes you to instinctively straighten yourself stopping 342 in his tracks
>'Shut up, this means nothing'
"Just work on fixing my ship, you're already looking at latrine duty for a month, would you like to step up to a free skydiving trip sans parachute?"
>342 visibly begins sweating at this and begins slowly stepping around you, before hurriedly sprinting out of the room
>Anon ends up ducking under you as he passes by with you turning your hooves to face him as he goes
>'Nothing I tell you, nothing'
>You make your way over to the centre of the room, stepping over Anon you take a seat and finally begin to relax, this time uninterrupted
>Except for the little weight you feel press against your side
>You can wait until the next stop to drop him off
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Be Celestia.
>You're currently saying goodbye to your student Twilight after a productive day.
>As you go to walk away she stops you.
>”Umm, Princess?” She says looking down and scuffing a hoof on the floor.
“What is it my dear student?”
>She looks up at you.
>”Could I see… him.” She ask desperately.
>You look around a bit to make sure no one else is around.
>Assured nobody's around you answer.
“Of course, follow me.”
>You begin lleading her down the halls.
>You're glad the two have become friends.
>Anon rarely gets to see many other ponies due to his classification.
>But, your General says it's for his and Equestria’s good to keep him a secret for now and sadly you have to agree.
>After he was found as a baby in the gardens you had doctors check him to make sure he was healthy, see what he required for food, and make sure he was not a threat to himself or Equestria.
>What they found was he was perfectly safe except for one thing.
>When he is in danger or feels threatened he appears to produce something your doctors have called ‘adrenaline’, when released he becomes almost completely immune to magic, the only thing able to effect him being a very strong user using a eminence amount of magic.
>Because of this for safety reasons he was deemed classified to the general public and low ranking guards.
>It was recommended for his own safety he be moved to a highly protected base, but you wouldn't allow it.
>It was not his fault he was born with a natural resistance, so why should he be punished in such a way?
>He was still a living creature and you wouldn't allow him to be locked up and treated like a super weapon by a bunch of scientists and soldiers.
>So after a bit of talking you came to a agreement.
>Anon would stay in a secure area of the castle and you would be his mother.
>Anonymous needed to know someone cared for him, and would protect him.
>You were the best candidate due to your free time and the fact you wouldn't allow anyone else to take him.
>My baby!
>The only reason Twilight knows of him is because he needed someone to play with his own age, and her being as smart as she is you knew she could keep a secret.
>Also because she saw him when she got lost in the castle one day while a guard had to go pee.
>She took to him like a guard to a spear as did he to her.
>As you reach the door and open it with your magic Twilight rushes in.
>”Anon!” She yelps rushing him.
>Anon who appeared to be reading a book quickly closed it and ran to her when hearing her voice.
>”Twi-Twi!” He yells hugging her.
>After the two get done greeting each other they quickly begin to talk about their week.
>After that Anon pulls out one of the books on Starswirl you gave him and gives it to Twilight.
>She chooses a page and begins reading with him.
>You can't help but smile as the two lean close to each other to read.
>You think of the possibility in a different reality they could be a cute couple.
>Actually… who says they couldn't be?
>From what you and your advisors figured Anon should be able to be know to the public by the time he's nineteen.
>He'll be old enough to understand right from wrong and able to defend himself if there was a attempted kidnapping.
>You smile at the thought of the two dearest things in your life falling for each other.
>By the time you look back over you find they have fallen asleep against each other.
>You hold back a giggle before laying yourself on Anon's bed and using your magic to gently lift the two up, lay them next to you, and wrap a wing around them.
>The two roll around for a bit before they get comfortable.
>Looking down you see something that makes your heart stop.
>Twilight has rolled over allowing Anon to snuggle his face in her mane and wrap his arms around her barrel as Twilight grabs his hand in her hoofs holding it close.
>After you restart your heart you lean down and kiss the two on the top of the head before laying your head down and drifting off.
>You can't wait to see where their relationship will go in the future, but for now, you'll enjoy their playful innocence.
 
>Be Celestia a few months later.
>You've gotten a lieutenant of the guard who has quickly climbed through the ranks to befriend Anonymous and teach him a bit of self-defense.
>It is no surprise to you said guard is from the Sparkle family.
>Shining Armor has been very kind to dear Anon and you're glad that Anon is getting more friends.
>Twilight has gotten to see Anon much more due to the fact her brother has gotten a job teaching him, deepening their friendship.
>You have been able to trust Shining with Anon and Twilight meaning you have more time to deal with your royal duties and talk with your advisors.
>-Some- of them believe you have gotten a bit to trusting with the Sparkle family allowing multiple of them to know of Anon.
>You don't care though, they've been nothing but kind and show no signs of committing any crimes.
>Plus, he's your son.
>If you say he's safe, he's safe.
>Although that doesn't stop your curiosity, that's why you're going to check on him.
>As you get to the door you hear children giggling.
>As you crack open the door and peek in you have to quickly hold yourself back from laughing.
>Shining Armor is sitting on the bed with a frilly blue dress and makeup on.
>Anon and Twilight are both in front of him giggling and looking very proud of themselves.
>Shining has a genuine smile at the children's happiness.
>Soon his eyes catch sight of you and quickly go wide.
>”H-Hello princess.” He stutters as you enter the room.
>The children turn to look at you joy filling their eyes.
>”Mommy!”
>”Princess!”
>The two rush you and hug you.
>You gently wrap your wings around them and lower your head holding them close.
“Have you two been good for Shining?”
>You ask releasing them.
>The two nod vigorously.
>”Mr. Shinning is let us play dress up!” Your son says with complete innocence.
“I can see that, he looks very… pretty.”
>The poor guard’s face turns hot red as he looks away.
>He has a the look of ‘I regret everything but would do it again'.
>”OH OH! I have a idea Anon!” Twilight says getting your son's attention. “We should play dress up with Celestia!”
>”Yeah! Mommy will you play dress up with us?” He says looking up at you.
>Oh please no.
“Well I would but-"
>As you say this Twilight puts her front hooves together and your son puts his hands together as they look up at you.
>M-Maybe it won't be so bad?
>N-No!
>Be strong Celestia!
>You've faced harder trials!
>Their eyes sparkle with hope and happiness.
>I-it's just dress up.
>No, look at what happened to Shining Armor!
>If you let them do this you'll be washing off makeup for weeks!
>”Please~” They both beg in unison.
>…
 
>Three hours later.
 
>Be Celestia.
>”Anon, get some more blush please.”
“I think I have enough blush on dear.”
>She pats your side.
>”Don't be silly princess, you can barely see it.”
>You don't attempt to fight it.
>Last time you did they both nearly cried.
>Instead you just sit there as the two apply more pink blush and blue eyeliner to your face.
>You use a back hoof to move the red frill of the dress a bit so it's not tickling your side.
>Where Twilight got this dress that fits you have no idea, but you have a feeling you're going to have to talk with your royal tailor.
>You look over at Shining who is happily playing with the frills on his blue dress.
>That guard is strange… you like him.
=======================================================================================================================================
 I more or less thought of it as
>Gilda is watching Anon for Celestia.
 
>"Thank you kindly, Ms. Gilda, he wasn't too much trouble was he?"
>'Nah, course not, came with me on a hunt and everything.'
>"W-we would've gotten TWO rabbits if that f-fucking banana quiet granola bar hadn't given away our position!" Anon says excitedly
>'Hey heeeeey, I thought this little monkeyman agreed NOT to repeat anything catbird mom says, EVER.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"So, you think you're worthy of my little Sunshine, hm?"
>"Look at you! You'r all skin and bones, not a single muscle on you!"
>"How can you expect to protect him from harm with little twig arms like those?"
>"Scamper off now. My son needs a real woman, not some DYEL skank."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Celestia and Anon are mother and son
>They're also secretly attracted to each other
>But incest is wrong, even if the son is technically adopted
>Celestia has a solution
>A glory hole opens up in the castle
>In a room that only Celestia, Anon, or Luna are allowed to enter
>There are two sizes of holes, one sized so that a penis can be pushed through to be serviced by whoever happens to be on the other side, the other so that the large, white-furred plot of the female clientele can be pushed through to be serviced
>Anon goes there once a day to get his dick sucked, and always makes sure to pay it forward by spending some time on the other side of the wall, eating out some delicious horsepussy
>Whoever's horsepussy is offered to him; he isn't sure of course
>There's a wall in the way, he has no way of knowing for sure
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Anon is bigger than Celestia once he reaches adulthood
>Anon likes to scoop her up and carry her around on her back; especially when there are guards and subjects walking around
>Celestia squirms and grumbles about it, but can barely hide her smile and enjoys being held by her little man
>Partly because he's her son, and partially because of the novelty of not being the biggest creature in the castle
>Could easily teleport out, but doesn't
I like to think that Luna (after 1000 years of isolation) absolutely adores being held by her nephew. I'm picturing shenanigans where Luna wears a terrible disguise and tries to pass herself off as Celestia so that she can get more opportunities to be carried around by Anon.
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Anon's human scent does strange things to mares
>Pegasi rub up against him like cats and show off their wings
>Unicorns get really drowsy and are prone to napping on top of him
>Earth Ponies squeeze their thighs together, tuck their tails between their legs, and try not to look him in the eye (and they refuse to tell him why)
>Alicorns take to Anon like a cat takes to catnip
>Sexually.
>This effect didn't come into play until Anon grew into an adult; before that, he was just Princess Celestia's beloved adopted monkey alien
>But then came Anon's 18th birthday
>Anon woke up to Luna aggressively snuggling with him under the covers, and Celestia standing in his bedroom doorway, barely managing holding up a small cake in her magic with "Happy Birthday" written in icing written on it
>She looks like she's trying not to sneeze; her eyes are heavy-lidded and unfocused, her mouth is hanging slightly open, her nose is raised up in the air, and her muzzle has a heavy blush
>If Anon were to listen carefully, he'd hear to sniffing over and over again
>"G-Good morning, my Sunshine. Wh-what does my b-beautiful, handsome, s-sexy young stallion want to d-do today?"
>Celestia desperately doesn't want to give in to her urges and start a sexual relationship with her adopted son, but she's going to squirt mare juices all over the floor if Anon so much as gives her a hug.
>An unamused cleaning crew following her around all day will be the least of her worries if her son decides to spend his birthday in her company.
>[internal conflict intensifies]
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"It has it's moments, but really, we're basically just driving around looking for a gas station the whole time."
>'Ohoho~ Nephew, please, we are sure commanding an entire fleet and ruling an empire entail more than that.'
>'Scone?'
>"I am fine, thank you, filled up on blue milk at Tato- ah, hold on, holo-call from mom."
>"Yes, My master?-...No..no, mom, it's a blu ray player, it doesn't play those..."
>"I don't know did you pay the bill? Oh 8 credits is nothing, you're just so tight hoofed with-..mom, please, the force choke doesn't work on me."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Celestia! It was MY turn to make my nephew hot chocolate!"
 
>Your mother and aunt keep pulling "this isn't my fridge" shit
>Bondage when trying to make hot chocolate
>Walking around bottomless while trying to find her keys
>Accidentally falling face-first into Anon's crotch after taking a shower while trying to find a towel
>It's really transparent but Anon puts up with it because he loves his family and they're the most important people in his life
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Be anon
>Summer is around the corner
>Your mother and you will never have planned out a camping trip with your aunt
>The both of you were never looking forward to this trip all last semester.
>you will never have Q U A L I T Y time with both your aunt and mom in the woods
>You will never fish together
>You will never hike together
>You will never sit by the fire together
>You will never sleep together
>You will never have butt fun together
>You will never grow your bond between mother and aunt over this camping trip
>You will never do your summer reading/ summer work
=======================================================================================================================================
 >You will never wake up to Celestia lovingly nuzzling your face
>She will never tell you "good morning" and gently nudge you out of bed with her muzzle so that the two of you can start your day together
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"..I think tanlines look sexy on you, mom."
>'Nonsense, I want to be sunkissed all over.'
>"Son kissed? I can do that."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >You bring a girl home
>You tell Mom she's your project partner
>She promptly disappears into her bedroom
>You set up camp at kitchen table
>About an hour later, your mother comes down wearing what appears to be an old cheerleader's uniform
>"Look, sunshine! I was just going through my closet, and I found this old thing. Can you believe that after 20 years, it still fits! Do you and your little... girlfriend... want to see one of my old routines?"
=======================================================================================================================================
 >This sucks
>No sunshine to go off campus with for lunch
>Too intimidating to other faculty members for them to join you at lunch
>Even your sister just takes hers alone in her office
>That always made Anon chuckle and say "..Y-you too."
>May as well catch up on some light reading
>You pull out a small journal Anonymous gave you this past mothers day
>Sweetheart he was, the first dozen or so pages went on in-depth about his love and admiration for you and your sister
>Unfortunately, paperwork kept stealing away the precious little moments you had to yourself
>As you rearrange the food on your plate you figure nows a good a time as any to catch up
>"..That's it, I guess, mom. Sorry I didn't fill this whole journal up with how much you and Auntie mean to me."
>Awwwww
>Well, you don't measure his love for you by how much paper he can use
>You turn the page expecting to see blank paper, but there's more writing
>"I couldn't fill up a whole journal with that stuff, mom, sorry, I had to save room for the good stuff."
>W-what
>"..'Dear Journal, mom was out of lycra pants for work so she picked out a tasteful skirt and tan nylons.'..."
>"'God I wanted to bend her over her desk right then and there, I'd gladly take all the scratchmarks and bites to hear her tell me where she wants her sunshine to bl-'.."
>Oh shit you're doing that thing where you're saying out loud the stuff you're reading in your head
>"*ahem*..Creative writing project my son is working on."
 
>"..'I bs'd something about the mirror on my bathroom having a crack in it so I could use the one in her master bath.'"
>"'She knew I was watching and pulled those nylons on slowly, all the way to her upper thigh'.."
>"..'I'm pretty sure mom and auntie both know their legs are to die for, but I'm doubly sure they're aware I think as much as well."
>"'Legs. For. Days. I love licking tho-'.."
>'P-PRINCIPAL CELESTIA, MA'AM, YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!'
>The home-ec teacher Ms. Pommel looks to be blushing and almost in tears
>'Eh, i-it's just that some of us are trying to eat, is all..' She says, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt
 
>" 'Today I noticed that mom wasn't wearing any panties under her housecoat. We were sitting across from each other in the living room this evening, and mom seemed to be going out of her way to keep her legs spread apart as wide as they could go. Her robe was pulled taut, and I was treated to a clear view of her privates. Diary, I have never wanted to find out what she tasted like more than I did right then. It took everything I had to resist marching over and burying my face in her-' "
>A pained whine interrupts your reading.
>You look up from your diary (cleverly disguised as a textbook from the library by sliding another book's protective sleeve over the cover) to find your Home-Ec teacher, Ms. Pommel, looking at you pleadingly.
>"P-Principal Celestia... Please..."
>She can't seem to stop fidgeting with her skirt.
 
>Mom has Anonymous record audio books on the subject
>Meanwhile, in Ms. Pommel's next class
>"Alright, class, l-let's use these waning minutes to reflect on what we've learned today, alright?"
>Puts on her Beats by Neigh headphones
>Plugs into her old school tape player/recorder
>"Chapter 3: A boy and his mother."
>"I was always very close to my mother. Why not, too? I didn't remember a father being around for me, just my mother and my aunt."
>"I thought it was completely normal to harbor those feelings at my age; they loved me and I loved them, why would marriage ever be out of the question?"
>"My mother always told me what a handsome and polite boy I was, and that I'd make some girl very lucky someday."
>"I didn't want that, though. To make myself vulnerable to someone who may not feel the same, or to end up in some back & fourth mindgame."
>"I loved my mother, and I wanted to make HER happy."
>It isn't quite the erotic reading she had in mind yet
 
>"Chapter 6: Not like the other boys."
>"Upon entering my adolescent years, I found that dealing with my feelings towards my mother was not going to be any easier."
>"Her and my aunt had always been very physical and expressive in their affections. I guess in a sense pining the little boy who used to jump into their arms."
>"They'd remark on my growth spurt and would often gently massage my shoulders while whispering how much they loved me."
>"..Maybe they didn't think I was listening, but I was, and right there at 13 I knew they needed me."
>"Everyday from then on felt like it could play out like a scene from one of my tibetan incest manga's."
>"My mother and aunt would still lounge around in their 'casual wear', which is next to nothing or shorts and t-shirts borrowed from me."
>"I had grown content with this for some reason and stayed reserved, or tried to, on the feelings I had regarding them."
>"The next day at school, I overheard my classmates talking about how 'hot' my mother was."
>"'Her boobies' this, 'her ass' that. Only I was supposed to think of her that way. It got me angry and it spurred me to finally take action."
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Well!~" Auntie said enthused
>"Shall it be age before beauty?"
>'Luna, please, you're going first because you'll be done quicker.'
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Why don't you go native too, sunshine?"
>'Liberate thyself from the tyranny of clothes, nephew!'
 
>Mom and Auntie Luna start to insist that you take showers with them "to save money"
 
>"Fuck off, it's cold in here."
 
>Mom and Aunt do sexy yet impractical things
>Going nude when it's cold as shit in the house; they're shivering and regretting their decisions
>Trying to get you to take showers with them even though your shower/bathtub can barely fit one person
>Surprising you by laying naked on your bed; bed isn't even twin-sized and the headboard knocks against the wall so hard it punches a hole
=======================================================================================================================================
 >You will never stealthily molest your mother's breasts while she tries to navigate a political maze and make peace with a neighboring kingdom
Either Anon's really good at no-no touching Celestia, or he's actually really obvious about it and the Griffon King is polite enough not to bring attention to it and make the situation awkward.
 
>"P-perhaps that is customary among his kind, dear." The Griffon Queen says fanning herself
>The Griffon King laughs heartily and raises his goblet
>'Ha ha! May we all be as enthused for this joining of nations as The Prince is about rutting his mother! Cheers!'
 
>Anon doesn't even try to hold himself back
>Goes behind Celestia, hikes up her tail, and starts fucking her
>Celestia tries to power through it and pretend, to some extent, that she isn't being rutted by her adopted son in front of foreign royalty
>The wording of the final peace treaty is interspersed with things like "Yes" "B-Buck" and "Harder"
>Celestia's signature starts in the middle of the dotted line and alternates between jutting far above the line and down below the line several times
>There are dried stains on it that smell like drool and marecum
>Celestia inadvertently launches a trend that lasts for centuries: bringing a beloved family member to have sex with during peace treaties
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Aunt goes through a goth period
>Celestia never lets her live it down
>You start wearing stereotypical goth clothes to tease her one day
>You are not prepared for the way she freezes, blushes so hard you're afraid she'll pass out, and gives you some intense bedroom eyes
>Even after you ditch the costume, Luna never quite looks at you the same
>Sometimes buys you gothy clothes as a not-so-subtle hint
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Be anon
>It's just you and your sweet, young looking mother celestia
>She looks good for her age
>hard to believe she looks this good for being this old
>You also look older than you are
>There is this one time when you went out shopping with her
>people were complimenting on how you two look like a cute, great couple
>Whether they say you are a good pair, boyfriend girlfriend,or husband wife
>They will never know that you two are actually mother and son
>The two of you will never take pleasure into tricking people and talk about made up stories as a "couple"
>The two of you will never publicly show affection to each other
>The two of you will never embrace your forbidden love in public
>You will never hold hands in public
>You will never kiss in public
>You will never go out on dates with your mother and stare into each other's eyes
>Not with the eyes of mother and son
>But with the eyes of lovers
>And nobody will know the secret
>Mother celestia and you will never show each other's affection whenever or where ever the both of you go.
>You will never have your mother be your significant other
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Dumb fund-raiser thing for something like new uniforms for the sportsball team
>Set-ups like "dunk the Principal", "Luna's animal face-paints" and "Love advice from Dean Cadence"
>Clearly made to appeal to a younger crowd, but the students are into it
>Partly because Celestia's top becomes semi-transparent when she falls into the dunk-tank, and partly because Luna accidentally wore a low-cut shirt and everybody gets a look down her top when she paints their faces
>Luna is convinced that her popularity is because she's managed to subtly paint a dick on the face of each student who visited her booth and they're only just now noticing
>Celestia and aunt Luna convince Anon to participate, what with him being the Principal's son
>At the end of the evening, the student body eggs Celestia, Luna, and Anon into doing some kind of curtain-closer for the entire event
>Starts with "Get Luna to paint something embarrassing on Anon's face"
>Accidentally becomes "Observe as Luna smears paint all over Anon" because Anon stuck his tongue out at his aunt and Luna was feeling playful
>Doubles as "Watch as Celestia's blood pressure skyrockets because Anon is getting hard-to-clean paint all over his clothes"
>Ends with "Laugh as Celestia and Luna throw Anon into the dunk-tank and scrub him down in front of all his friends"
>Unintentionally evolves into "Feel a bizarre mixture of discomfort and jealousy when playful scrubbing turns into sensual rubbing as clothes start to disappear"
=======================================================================================================================================
 >Be Anon.
>It's game night at home, and mom got to pick the game.
>She picked D&D.
>You don't really mind, except that she wants everyone to dress as and act out their character's actions the entire game.
>All of you.
>Mom, Aunt Luna, you, even Cadance.
>It was fun the first couple of times, but then the quests got kind of odd.
>There was one time your entire party had a love spell cast on them right off the bat.
>You spent the entire night playing the game but you never made it out of the inn.
>Not tonight though.
>You just killed and finished looting a group of goblins who attacked your wagon.
"Well I think that went well. I finish looting and get back onto the wagon."
>"I as well. I get on the wagon and ready to drive off."
>Aunt Luna says.
>"I get into the back of the wagon with Nameless."
>Cadance says with a smile, referring to your character's name.
>"You start off again, it is a long ride ahead so feel free to interact with each other if you like."
>Your mom says while winking at Cadance.
>Damnit, not again.
>You feel a hand on your leg.
>"You were really great back there with the goblins."
"I would like to point out my character's flaw is social awkwardness so I don't think I can interact well with her."
>They all laugh or giggle in response.
>"That's okay. We're not in a social setting so you should be fine. And I can always take the lead."
>She moves her hand farther up you leg and cups your dick and slowly starts to massage it.
"I-I try to rebuke her advances."
>"Sorry Sunshine, her charisma is too high for you to do that."
>"Is the road straight so I can look back and watch without crashing the wagon?"
>"Yes, you turn and enjoy the show."
"Really! Then I stand up to check the supplies on the other side of the wagon, AWAY from Mi Amore."
>"You'll need to roll for that."
"Ugh."
>You groan rolling your d20.
>... And it's a fucking one.
"Damnit."
 
>"Alright, as you try to stand up, your pants get caught on an exposed nail on the wagon and are pulled down as you get up. The wagon hits a bump in the road and you fall forward into Mi Amore, whose breasts cushion your fall."
"Really?"
>"Yes. Now Mi Amore, seeing this rugged adventurer practically naked along with your adrenalin from the previous battle makes you want to have sex with Nameless."
>"I'm glad I turned around to see this."
>Not helping Aunt Luna.
>"Feel free to use the couch over there."
>Mom motions behind you.
"Alright."
>You say getting up and taking off your pants and Cadance starts to undress as well.
>You swear this happens every game.
>Just wait until it's your turn to be DM, then you'll show them.
>That or you could just pick that we all play Sorry instead.
=======================================================================================================================================
 >"Cousin!"
>'Hi Can'tdanse.'
>"I've been eating alot of pineapples, want to taste my femcum?"
>'..I'm sorry, what?'
>"I said I ordered us the hawaiian meat lovers, silly!"
>'Heh, oh, alright, neat.'
>"Fuck, give me your ranch, all across my muzzle, rub it into my coat, too~"
>'Alright, you definitely said something that time.'
>"I sure did, silly, I said pass the ranch but be careful not to stain your coat!"
>Anon shakes his head
>'Shoot, I gotta get my ears checked, sorry, Condense.'
>"Huff my ponut, Anonymous. Lick my tail dock, EAT MY ASS."
>Anonymous stops midchew and looks to his cousin
>"Woops! Uh, must be my allergies acting up."
>"..Maybe you could examine me, like how we used to play 'Doctor', remember?"
>Anon gives a slow nod and swallows the food in his mouth
>'My word, if ever there was a patient in need of a hot pepperoni injection..'
 
>"like how we used to play 'Doctor', remember?"
>Cadence was insatiable as a filly and often dragged Anon into her depraved explorations of sexuality
>This is what gave Anon his appreciation for horse pussy
>Mom knows, but wisely says nothing
=======================================================================================================================================
>Momlestia and Aunt Lulu will never start wearing yoga pants for the fall.
>They will never tease you by either adding more sway to their hips or sit on your lap.
>The house will never smell like pumpkin spice because Momlestia is obsessed with it.
>You will never decorate the entire house with Halloween shit with Auntie Lulu.
>She will never tease you while bending down too much while putting down decorations with a coy smile.
>You will never cuddle with them under a blanket in a brisk fall night.
=======================================================================================================================================
Be anon
>You will never help your mother celestia set up Halloween decorations during the weekend
>You will never spend nearly all day setting them up
>The weather will never bother you, becasuse the warmth of being in your mom's presence and her embrace warms you
>You will never celebrate a hard days work with hot chocolate
>Hopefully mom won't get into her bdsm gear by accident again
>You will never rest your head on your mother celestia in the cold night
=======================================================================================================================================
M-mom please wake up.
>*snores*
Mom I r-really need to pee
>smirk *snores louder*
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Good morning Sunbeam! It's a bright and brand new day, so turn that frown upside-down and let's do our best! Now sit down. I made pancakes~!"
 
>"Thanks, mom."
>'Oooh, now I'm sure a strong young man like yourself is quite capable of thanking your loving mother in other ways, aren't you?~'
>Mom giggles as your floating pancakes stop talking and their berry smile widens
=======================================================================================================================================
How would Mom react to Anon dating a cop older than him as soon as he turned 18? Also it's the officer that is assigned at the school.
 
>["...Son of a BITCH! FUCK!"]
>["Right from beneath my nose, no less...UGH, fucking badge wearing cunt!"]
>'I've got practice before class so I'm leaving early, I'll see you on campus, mom.'
>"ANONYMOUS, SO HELP ME, IF I SEE YOU WITH THAT SLUT COP I'LL CLAW HER EYES OUT."
>'..M-mom?'
>"D-D-DID I STUTTER, YOUNG MAN?"
It'd go something like that. You're HER son, and she knows what's best. Obviously that prowling cop's biological clock is ticking and she's looking for some stay at home doof.
 
Then Copper Top provokes Mom telling her that "I gave your son the time of his life in the back of my cruiser. I rode him for a good hour."
>"You bitch, he is still a child."
"Not anymore he just turned 18 and I made him a man."
 
>The night ends with your ex going home in an ambulance and your mom in the back of a squad car
>Mom's gone full Maury
>"I TOLD YOU, SUNSHINE, I TOLD YOU I'D TAKE AN ASSAULT CHARGE FOR MY BABY-, GET YER' FUCKIN HANDS OFF ME, ASSHOLE, LEMME TALK TO MY SON!"
=======================================================================================================================================
That makes me think what would she say if you brought Punklight or Rari-punk home?
 
>Rarity is just in it for the chic
>Can't name any bands
>"Oh um, I should say I quite love the musical stylings of the uh, Sum 41's?"
>'...Anonymous, get mommy's ox blood Doc Marten's out of the closet.'
 
>Aunt Lulu gets her nightmare moon outfit when she was in a heavy metal band in her 20s.
 
>no dayrocker mom & nightmare auntie
>they will never age gracefully, still full of energy and girlish glee
>"Oh, hush, I'm your mother..and pants are for conformists."
>'Indeed, why do you not liberate yourself from the tyranny of clothes as well, nephew?'
 
How crazy was Luna in her 20s?
>Nightmare Moon takes a line of coke live on stage in 1999. While yelling:
>"I fucking love cocaine!" Then starts an insane guitar solo.
=======================================================================================================================================
>You're Anon.
>You're also uncomfortable as fuck right now.
>Mom and Aunt Luna were being really shady this morning and each left for school with a tote bag, telling you not to worry about it when you asked about it.
>Now it turns out you have an assembly in the gym that mom didn't tell you about before.
>You don't know what's going on but you don't like it.
>The assembly starts and mom walks out in an Alice costume she like to wear for you when...
>Well nevermind that right now.
>Are everyone's pants getting tighter or is it just yours?
>Judging by other people's reactions, you don't think it's just you.
>"Hello students! Since it is the start of October, I would like to invite all of you you participate in School Spirit Week each Friday this month."
>You hear other students talking with each other.
>"Each week we will have a theme that you can dress up as to help boost school spirit. Participation is voluntary, but if you do decide to dress up, your name will be entered into a raffle for some great prizes. Those prizes range from a free lunch all the way up to an excused day off of school!"
>That got a lot of kids attention.
>But your mom still has your attention with that top.
>Why did you ever tell them you like them to dress up.
>Aunt Luna walks out dressed as Samus from Metroid... in her Zero Suit.
>You really shouldn't have told them you like when they dress up.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"You don't think mommy's tuft is small do you sunshine?"
 
>"Be honest, Anonymous, mommy's going before the full noble court today and she needs an edge."
>"Wind swept or au naturale'?"
>"Mostly covered by regalia or with a tasteful hint of tuft peeking out?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Fog
>Cold
>The sound of mom's hooves on the tundra
>You'd been riding your faithful Momtaun around for what seemed like days
>Searching the location of the downed royal s-
>"Anonymous, sweetheart, we're passing sugar cube corner, would you like something?"
>YOURE NOT SPOSED TO TALK, MOMTAUN, GOD
>'..Yes, please.' You mumble before zipping up and clinging to her chust fluff
>"Mmmm, mommy's little man and his wild imagination."
=======================================================================================================================================
>On Equestrian 4chan Celestial goes to bed knowing;
>Ywn have a human son who isn't intimidated by your height and will unendingly breed you every day
 
>A son who accepts you for who you are
>A son whose always ready to go
>A son determined on fulfilling all of her wants and needs
>A son who wants to make her proud
>Tfw no sonfu
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never have a son that will come to your office after school everyday
>You will never have a son that will help you with the shitty school work you are left with
>You will never get a much needed message while you do paper work
Son, Today miss cheerilee was being a total bitch today
>"I'm all ears"
>You will never let your son ram you on your desk in the late hours of the night
>You will never have a son because you are too old to carry children
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never have a son that will cherish your presence
>You never have a son that knows how to cook for himself and for others
>He will never cook for the both of you (and Luna) when we get back home from work
>He will never get my chicken fried chicken recipe just right
>You will never have a son that is a real gentle man
>I swear, what is the style nowadays with these coats and weird hats
>Is it me that's out of touch?
>No, it's the children who are wrong.
>You will never have your son walk into your bedroom asking for
>W-What?
>Son!
>I-I never knew you felt that way!?
>You will never have a son this open about his feelings
 
>You will never have a nephew who loves you unconditionally
>All you can do is post on 4clop about what you would do if you had a sonfu/nephewfu
>Your MoonShine will never kiss you on the nose before you go to bed at morning
>You will never spend your nights playing in his dreams and banishing his night terrors
>Your tiny butt will never excite him so
 
>Auntie spills metric fucktons of spaghett
>Mom assures her you feel the same
>"N-nephew...*cough*lookoverhere."
>'..Auntie?'
>"Ha ha! Uh..good evening, Nephew. We are here to *ahem*..propose an invite to you!"
>'Oh, uh..alright. Where to?'
>"Our pa-..kni-..to the pants party. There is..ehh, a party taking place within our pants."
>'Auntie, did my mom tell you to say that.'
>Your Aunt blushes and begins to shake her head
>"Oh n-, yes."
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never be a woman in her mid-life crisis
>You will have never dated multiple men
>You will never find that special connection that a woman craves
>Wheredidigowrong.png
>You will never have a nephew as a last resort
>You will never keep up your appearance for that special someone
>You will never have a nephew that notices your effort
>You will never have a nephew that acknowledges you as a woman
>You will never notice how much of a man he has become
>You will never compete over your sister for his dick
>You will never beat your sister to her son's dick
=======================================================================================================================================
Be Anon
 
Aunt Luna, what are you doing up so late on the horse computer?
>"I should ask you the same thing?"
Mom is asleep and I can't sleep, and ... w-what is that?
>Luna closes a bunch of tabs
>"Nothing, just drink Celestia's homemade milk that's in the fridge, heat it up and you'll go to sleep"
ok >_>
>You pretend to leave and sneak a peek through the door
>She proceeds to open up a bunch of tabs and websites
>what
>It can't be
>She browses Horsech4n!?
I recognize that board
All these threads and book marks
I go to those threads!
>tfw you might have argued, read/wrote green with your aunt
>tfw you might share the same fetishes with your aunt
>TFW SHE'S GIVING YOU A (You) AT THIS MOMENT ON AN PREGNANCY GREEN
 
It's one thing to discover she browses 4chan, but what if she found your fake dating profile on "30 and up.com"
What if both of them found the debonaire globetrotting fortune 500 CEO they sent nudes to is actually their son?
>"A-anonymous, sunshine, YOU'RE "40_Is_The_New_20"?"
>'Nephew..w-was that truly your member in the pictures you sent us?'
=======================================================================================================================================
>God damned alicorn breast milk and it's highly addictive traits.
>Freaking pony princess parent, she must of had this planed since she adopted you.
>She acts all normal, trying to wane you off of breastfeeding, but now that you're a little older you realize just how bad of an actor she was.
>"Oh Anon, you must simply stop suckling my sweet, creamy milk from my nice, bouncy teats while being held in my warm, protective, loving embrace!"
>Fucking 10/10 that was mom.
>Then there was of course all of the milk she snuck into your food.
>If milk could be cooked in it, it was there, each serving paired with a nice tall glass of chilled milk.
>UGH.
>And so here you are, sixteen years old and drinking straight from the source, Celestia cooing comforting words and stroking your head gently.
>It was frustrating, having let her get so addicted without even knowing, but it was too late to complain now.
>You were hooked tight.
>Not another day would go by that you could go without her ambrosia.
>All you could do was enjoy her love and golden taste.
>Not that you minded THAT much or really ever wanted to stop in the first place.
>You mean come on, it's REALLY good milk.
>You snuggle closer to mommy as she slowly pulls you from her teat and into her embrace as your eyes start to feel heavy.
>It was time to sleep get rested for another day filled with milk and love based over indulgence.
=======================================================================================================================================
Be momlestia
 
>Your son seems to be liking to talk to this one girl he met online
>What he doesn't know is that it's you
>We've been sexting and telling each other our darkest secrets
>You've never seen this side of your son before
>You've never known that he is just as kinky as his mother
>This is almost just as good as having an incestuous relationship
>What other feeling is there catfishing your own son?
 
>Your son comes in to your room
>"Mom?"
Yes sweety?
>"I think I'm being catfished, My internet girlfriend won't let me visit her or hang out. She keeps certain details vague, and I think 'she' has something to hide."
o-oh, um, well that's why you do-
>"So I called up Catfish to help me track her down"
>Your heart skips a beat
>Your face flushes red
>The world must never know!
 
>2 gentlemen knock on the door
>"Hello, we are Catfish, is your son home?"
Y-yes, he's right here
>You must never let them find out the truth!
>You will sabotage their investigation
>You will always lead yourself out of the room whenever they try to contact your son's "girlfriend" and talk on the phone in the other room.
>You will always lead them on like The Riddler
 
This can't go on any longer
They will eventually catch me!
I have an idea
>You will pay off one of the students to pose as the catfish
>You will have them convinced that it was him and not you this whole time
>"Flash?!Of course it was you! I guess since Sunset dumped you, you just HAD to do this sort of thing!"
>The Catfish crew had their episode
>Your son and you will watch it when it airs
>All while the real culprit is sitting on this couch at this moment
You will get away with the greatest Catfish of all
=======================================================================================================================================
"Mom, where did you want these skeletons?"
>"Put them near the front of the house near the living room window."
"What's the plan this year?"
>You ask carrying the box of plastic skeletons.
>"We are going to have them climbing the side of the house and trying to break into the window on the second floor."
"Okay. Need to remember there'll be a skeleton out there if I go into that room."
>"You'll be fine sunshine. I promise the big bad skeletons won't hurt you."
>She says in a mock tone while teasing you.
"You say that now, but a skeleton head looking into a window if you forget about it can be pretty scary."
>She pays your back.
>"Well mommy will protect you if need be sweetie."
"You just wait till you freak out seeing it."
>You put down your box and look up at the sky.
>It really is a beautiful day for the beginning of October.
>Fine by you, any excuse to keep wearing shorts.
"Couldn't have asked for better weather for today."
>"Yeah, last year we needed our fall jackets while decorating."
>You walk back to the garage to get the other outdoor decorations.
>You see two boxes left.
"This would go faster of Aunt Luna was helping us."
>"You know how she likes to get the inside decorated just right. I'll get the big one you get that one."
"If you're sure. Remember to lift with your legs."
>She crouches down and grunts as she gets up.
>"Did you hear something just now?"
"I don't think so."
>You say as you go to the front.
>You put the box down and mom puts hers down next to yours.
>"There, now let's get everything setup."
>She walks in front of you and-
" Mom! Your pants!"
>"Wha-"
>She starts to say but stops as she feels the back of her shorts.
>"It's probably when I lifted that box. At least nobody saw."
>Luna opens the front door.
>"Tia! Your pants are ripped!"
>She yells trying to get your attention.
"Thanks Aunt Luna, now no one will notice."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Um...uh, r-rise with the day, my sunbeam..i-if that's ok with you."
>'Oh, Fluttershy, darling, your delivery is sorely lacking the Royal touch! If we're to fill in for them we mustn't simply look the part, we must BE it.'
>'*ahem* NEPHEW-DARLING, ARISE THEE-..uh..THY SELF FROM BED.'
Huh?! Wha?
>"G-good morning, my sweetheart."
>'Yes, good morning, Nephew, it's u-, ehh, I mean TIS WE! YOUR DOTING, BEAUTIFUL AUNT..*ahem* oh and your mother, darling.'
Um, ok, I didn't forget who you two were but thanks for reminding me.
>'HA HA, BULLY, NEPHEW-DARLING! N-NOW THAT THOU-..uh..THEE'S DAY HAS BEGUN, YOU- shit! I mean THOU MAY BEGIN YOUR PLEASURABLE MINISTRATIONS UPON OUR BODIES.'
>"Pleasurable m-ministrations, Rarity?"
>'Hush, Fluttershy, if we're playing the parts, I intend to come away with something to make the experience memorable.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Your walking down the main hall of the palace on your way to your 4:15 teatsuckling
>Growing boy needs all his vitamins
>Heh, re-growing, anyway
>"P-pardon me, Creature, but what business have you in this wing of the palace?"
>You stop in your tracks and turn to address the guard
>'Heh..you're Stalwart Sword's great great great great grandcolt, right?'
>"..How did you know, a-and you still haven't answered my question!"
>'I am your Prince, Guard. Anonymous Celestial-Skies I, I am both your sun and stars.'
>'The Ageless Boy King, consort to this planet's mother's.'
>"T-the stories were true! Stories of The Phoenix Prince were true?!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Do you want to give my chest tuft a rub, Anon?"
>Celestia sits down on her haunches and nudges the poofy white bundle of fur on her chest with her horse-wrist joint.
>It looks so soft and inviting; like she stapled a poofy wig to her chest.
>"I know it's big, sweetheart, but you don't have to be afraid. Is this your first time with a mare's tuft?"
>Celestia giggles dismissively.
>"Of course it is; you never pegged me as some kind of 'stallion of the night'."
>The skin on your hand gently tingles as the golden glow of Celestia's magic envelops it, tugging you and guiding you towards her until your digits are deep in her fur.
>"I promise I'll be gentle."
 
>Celestia softly places her hoof on your shoulder and gives you a half-lidded smoldering gaze.
>"You know, Anon..."
>Her hoof slowly slides down your arm, sensually sliding across your skin.
>You can't help but shiver at the sensation of downy fur and the soft frog of her hoof.
>"...there is no wrong way to fantasize."
And then they fucked
=======================================================================================================================================
>Candles illuminate the way to--
>Well, you're not sure where it's going. The note just said to follow the candles at Midnight.
>Thinking clearly, this isn't a logical decision, but then again you were always the more curious, adventurous one of you and Luna.
>The candles light the path to a set of double doors to a familiar room. A room you know all too well.
>The smell of Lavender enters your nostrils, as the doors slowly open, welcoming you in.
"...Well, it'd be rude to turn down such an invitation."
>You peek your head through first to get a look at your surroundings.
>The room is also barely lit like the halls, but you can make out a large king-sized bed, and somepony sitting on the foot of it-
>Or rather "someone".
>"You came. Thank you."
>The figure speaks up first.
"Anonymous. I had a feeling it was you."
>You enter completely, and face the statuesque human.
> "I honestly didn't expect you to come Princess. I figured you'd just ignore it or send someone else in your stead."
>You snicker.
"That would hardly be befitting of a princess like myself to allow someone else to intercept an invitation for me, and from Equestria's only "son"?"
>He cracks a smile, and rises to full height, and walks towards you.
>"Then you know why you're here?"
"The atmosphere isn't exactly subtle sweetheart."
>He gets closer placing a hand on the side of your neck.
>"I've wanted to tell you this for so long, but I've been so afraid-afraid that ypu'd reject my feelings. Shun me for my emotions-"
>You put a hoof to his mouth.
"Shush, you silly man. I've felt the same for just as long."
>You can feel him frown under your hoof.
>"If you did, then why didn't you say-"
"I like to be chased sometimes too."
>His frown reverts back to a smile.
>"You silly horse. Come here-"
>SLAM
>You slam the book closed, nearly jumping into the ceiling.
>You whip your head around, and find one of the maids picking up a stack of books outside in the hallway.
>"S-sorry m'lady. I'm clumsy..."
>You can feel your red cheeks turn redder, in shame and anger at the same time.
"I-it's quite alright! J-just practice more caution in the future please."
>"Of course! My apologies again!"
>The worker bows, and trots off, carrying the books on her back in a wobbling stack.
>You sigh, and shake your head, and hold the back in your magic grasp, looking at its plain cover.
"To think I came in here looking for dirty laundry, and you come across your adoptive son's personal..."thoughts"?"
>Who are you even talking to?
>You just have to vocalize this in some way.
>How are you supposed to feel about this? Well, you didn't have the right to read it in the first place, so you shouldn't have any feelings whatsoever!
>You were just trying to be a mother, and do something mom's do. That's what they do right?? RIGHT??
>You're making excuses.
>You slip the book back underneath his bed, taking another deep breath, and quickly leave the room.
>The laundry can wait. You'll just send a maid or something later.
"Just have a panic attack, why don't you Celestia?"
>You trot with somewhat wobbly legs, to the door only to be cut off at the entrance.
>"Mom? What're you doing here?"
>Your eyes widen, as you stare into the eyes of the subject at hoof himself.
>Anonymous tilts his head in confusion, as you rush past him, head hanging down.
"I-I'm sorry! I have to go!"
>You can feel him watching you as you gallop off to the throne room in your flustered state.
>How can you even look at him, knowing what you know?
>There isn't a wrong way to fantasize huh?
>The rest of the day went agonizingly slow, but that's because of you. Cadence is supposed to come by for Tea, with you and Luna.
>Perhaps her being closer to him in age, will shed some light on things! Offer some valuable insight?
>Once she arrived, you couldn't be more happy.
>Dodging Anon all day, and trying to sit still with all this anxiety was just making it worse.
>Once alone with the two alicorns you let it all out.
>Luna was visibly angry, but Cadence seemed more amused in her expression.
"So...what do you think? Is it normal for him to feel this way?"
>Cadence chuckles, swishing the tea in her cup around slowly.
>"Well, have you noticed anything? Like does he seem more attentive when you're around?"
>You put a hoof to your chin.
"I-I can't actually say."
>"And it's not like you're actually related by blood or anything. He's a growing young man. Why wouldn't he have feelings for his caretaker?"
"But, I'm not just a caretaker. I'm his mo-"
>"Adoptive."
>Cadence cocks an eyebrow, with a coy grin.
>SLLLUUURRRRP.
>You and Cadence look to an irritated, closed eyes Luna.
>"Regardless of the semantics-"
>Her face contorts into an angry scowl.
>"You shouldn't have read it. It was his personal journal! Not some tabloid for you to share and gossip over!"
>What's her problem?
>"You had no right!"
"It was an accident!"
>"N-now now ladies. It's not leaving this room. His secret is safe."
>Cadence is doing her best to diffuse the growing situation, but is doing little to help things.
>Luna slams her tea cup on the table.
>"What are your feelings towards him?"
"What?"
>"You heard me. Your feelings! What are they towards him? Do you feel the same?"
>Your bottom lip trembles.
"N-no! Well, Yes...but NOT that kind of love! He's my child. I don't see him as anything more than that..."
>"Then why are you bothered? It shouldn't mean anything-"
"What if he tries something then? L-like touching me or-"
>Luna "Pffts" as loud as she can.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon where are we going?
You need your examination mom. Youre getting older.
>YOU SAID 1200 WAS THE NEW 600!
 
>"Ageless deity or not, mom, all that cake can't be healthy."
>'ITH MY ALIHOHN MEHABOLIHM DAMMIT'
>"How come Aunt Luna or Condense aren't consistently inhaling any cakes in a 50 mile radius like you then?"
>'BECUH THEY KNOW TO THAY OFF MY THURF!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"I h-hope this works...aha! A s-signal! It's transmitting, it's transmitting!!"
>"PRINCESS! P-PRINCESS, IT'S ME SUNSET!"
>"I-I'M STUCK HERE IN THIS ETERNAL HIGH SCHOOL DIMENSION!"
>"P-PRINCESS? ARE YOU THERE?"
 
>"The fuck? How did you -, did you like, fucking hack my teamspeak or some shit?"
>'W-who are you? Where's the Princess, this is urgent!'
>"Uh no what's urgent is I pwn these idiot bray-zillian colts who suck at this game. I'll tell my mom you called, SomeDork Shitter."
>'N-NO PLEASE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I JUST WANT TO COME HO-'
>"Muted."
 
>"Anonymous, darling, sweetheart, sunshine. Is she gone yet?
>'Sure thing, Mom. Why haven't you just cut her loose and been done with it?'
>"Tried that, that's why she's Over There and not here."
=======================================================================================================================================
HerdAnon
 
>Be Celestia.
>You're trotting down the hall towards your sister's room.
>She was late for breakfast and so was Anon, so you figured while you drank your morning tea you'd go see what was keeping her and if she saw Anon.
>Ever since Anon hit eighteen -both- of them had been acting weird.
>You swear she better have not have gotten a whorse like she said she was going to do on his birthday!
>”But Tia! He's officially a stallion! Not just that, a -royal- stallion!” She said looking at you as if you were crazy. “It is tradition that he mate with a citizen to continue the line! Whom better than a element of harmony?”
“Luna, my baby is -not- going to ‘mate' with -any- mare he doesn't love! Times have changed Luna, and if the papers somehow got word that the prince had sex with a mare outside of a herd or marriage they'd never let us live it down.”
>”But sister-" She starts but you won't hear any of it.
“Not buts. My son won't have sex with any mare-"
>She goes to say something.
“Or stallion!”
>She shuts her mouth.
“-that he doesn't love, and that's final!”
>You say stomping your hoof.
>Luna lowers her head and ears.
>Then suddenly perks up.
>”So you're saying if I find somepony whom Anon truly loves, he can mate?” She ask hopefully.
“Well, if they of them loved each other very much and have known each other for a very long time and were both okay with it. I suppose, yes they may ‘mate'.”
>Luna hops up with a flap of her wings in joy.
>”Merrily! Then I shall find a mare Anon cares for! I must be off now!” She says propelling herself through the air and out the door.
>Getting back to the present day you realize how she could have misinterpreted love and begin to gallop down the halls nearly knocking over a few guards on the way.
>You reach Anonymous’s door and calm yourself before quietly looking in to see…
>Nothing.
>You breathe a sigh of relief.
>Now you feel silly, Luna knows how love works, she's a full grown mare for your sake.
>You trot over to her room across the hall to check on her and see if she knows were Anon is.
>You open up the door and see…
>No she didn't.
>She wouldn't be stupid enough.
>In Luna's bed you see her and Anonymous both laying together with slight smiles on their faces.
>You quickly teleport Luna out of bed and into the hall.
>She wakes up quickly after falling to the ground.
>”Huh? Wha?” She says looking around.
“Don't you ‘Huh?’ me! What. Did. You. Do!”
>”What do you mean sister?” She ask looking confused.
“I -mean-, why is my -son- in -your- bed!”
>You say with venom in your tone.
>She sits up and thinks for a bit, before saying “Oh!” and shakes her head a bit.
>”Well sister, you told me to find somepony that Anon has known for very long and loves very much.”
“Mhmm.”
>”So I searched high and low for a maid, a guard, even your student Twilight, then I even asked your Secretary! Yet I found nopony that has known Anon a long time.”
>You're -so- going to question Inkwell.
>”But then it hit me, who better but one of us!”
>Anger fills you.
“So you screwed my son!? He's your nephew!”
>”No I did not ‘screw’ your son sister! We are not a barbarian!” She says looking offended.
>Oh thank-
>”We had sex. Not ‘screwed'.” She says looking proud.
“Luna, if you know what's good for you. You'll run.”
>You say placing down your coffee.
>She tilts her head.
>”Why's that sister?”
>Your horn begins to glow and shoot sparks everywhere where causing her to look scared.
“Because I'm about to make your thousand years on the moon look like a vacation!”
>With that you're both off!
 
>Be Anon.
>You pick up your mothers coffee and take a sip.
>”So. Did you really have sex with princess Luna?” One of your personal guards ask you as you watch them run down the hall.
“Nope.”
>He tilts his head and looks at you.
>”Then what'd you do?”
>You begin to explain it to him.
>You were laying in your bed when suddenly your aunt’s head pokes in.
>”Nephew, could you come to my room? I have something to show you.” She said before quickly dragging her back.
>So you did.
>As you entered the room you saw it was empty except for the light in the bathroom, so you thought she had to use the bathroom first.
>So you sat down on her bed to wait.
>Minutes later the bathroom light goes out and the door opens up.
>Black smoke poured out as a figure walked out behind it.
>You went to get up but some magic pushed you down.
>The smoke got closer and the figure became more visible.
>Soon you found yourself completely held down on the bed as Luna climbed up.
>The smoke cleared to reveal her but she was different.
>She wore lacey dark blue laundry, her eyes were not her own, but the cat like blue of Nightmare Moon, as were her sharp teeth.
“A-Aunt Luna, are you alright?”
>You asked, fearful she was turning back into the Nightmare.
>She placed a hoof on your lips silencing you.
>”Shh, dear nephew~ just be quite while Luna helps you~” She said her horn lighting up taking off her laundry.
“H-Help me?”
>You were scared.
>”Yes, help you. Rejoice, your princess Luna has decided to grace you by making you a Stallion~” She said in a sultry tone.
>You know she meant man but were scared to correct her.
>You always loved Luna, but not like this!
>But you knew there was no escape from her grasp.
“Auntie, don't do this. I love you!”
>She grins.
>”I love you too dear nephew, that's why I'm doing this.”
>You close your eyes and look away as you await the inevitable.
>But then you feel, bouncing?
>Not on you, but the bed.
>You open your eyes to see your aunt jumping on the bed slightly flapping her wings to give her momentum.
“Umm.”
>”Have ye came yet dear nephew?” She says still jumping.
>Gone is her sultry attitude, instead it's just… Luna.
>Does… does she not know what sex is?
>Not one to throw away a blessing you answer her.
“Yes auntie, I came.”
>”Huzza! The job is done, and in record time!” She says as she stops bouncing and lift's you up. “Well, I am quite tired nephew, so let us sleep in the ‘afterglow'" She says as she pulls back the covers of her bed and crawls in before placing you down and covering you both.
>You smile at her innocence.
“Sure auntie. Let's go to sleep.”
>Finished explaining you look at your guard.
>He looks like he's about to lose it, and soon does laughing.
>After a bit he regains himself and calms down.
>”S-So, you gonna go save your aunt?” He ask.
“Nah not yet.”
>You say sipping your mother's coffee.
“Besides, they both need the workout, and a couple laps around the castle never hurt anyone.”
>He giggles a bit.
“No telling anyone about this.”
>”Wouldn't dream of it."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Just put that journal out of your mind, Celestia
>Don't think about the strong young man your son is growing up to be
>Don't imagine those incisors and canines on your skin
>"..You alright, mom?"
>'N-never wetter, why do you ask?'
=======================================================================================================================================
>You're Anon, and the principal just told you that you have detention.
>And unlike everyone else who says the same thing, you weren't doing anything.
>You were eating lunch and she walked up to you and said "Detention."
>Now you're in detention, to make matters worse you're the only one here.
>Not even a friend to sit next to.
>The principal comes in and starts to undress.
>She then told you that you were a bad boy and to call her "Mommy."
>You consider yourself an open minded teen so you play along and see where this goes.
>At worst, you'll have a great story to tell for later.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Young Master Anonymous, arise!"
>"I, Starswirl The Bearded shall now instruct you in the ways of all magic, as I did your mother and aunt."
>"Prepare to embark upon a myst-..what're you doing?"
>'I can't go to Wizard school without a sick scar or something, what if like, fuckin' Malfoy and his dickweed friends make fun of me?'
>"I-..I beg your pardon, whom is this 'Malfoy' you speak of?"
>'Also, when do I get to learn the force choke?'
>"..Celestia, you devilish prankster! Having me instruct your son in the art of magic is akin to teaching a cricket how to speak Prench!"
=======================================================================================================================================
She's my favorite lady
>"You know...growing up here in Canterlot, you can't not like mountains. Gosh, there's just so many of them."
>"My mommy, though..her and my auntie, they prefer softer, gentler paintings."
>"They tell me 'Oh, sweetheart, we've seen enough mountaintops and lightning strikes to last a lifetime'..so I oblige and I paint them something nice."
>[Viewer suffers ASMR coma from paint knife and soft speaking]
>"Aaand shhhhew..we'll add a little tree right here, and maybe-...yep, we'll give him a little friend named Clyde."
>"..Call it done."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Oh my word~ This isn't mommy's room at all!"
>"Mmm, no use complaining, I'm already in my night wear and there's a bed right here~"
>'M-mom?'
>"Shhhh..shhhh...let mommy listen to your heart beat."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Any plans for today, mom?"
>'Mmm, nothing in particular..might sharpen my claws or count over my treasures.'
>"..Not tired of being a dragon yet?"
>A giant tongue gives you a once over and mom snorts out a puff of smoke
>"Alright well, uh, that answers that. I'll be at the cast- huh? Mom, w-what're you doing?"
>'Leave? Oh no, no, no, no~ Mommy can't let her most precious treasure leave the hoard, silly.'
>It was a 'Mom says every Prince is this close with his mother' kind of few days
=======================================================================================================================================
Mom how did you get so smol?
>"Ask twilight, you can find her in the dungeon..."
 
>While the spell's in effect mom ask you to carry her around.
>"It just feels so unnatural to be so short sunshine. You don't want mommy to feel uncomfortable do you?"
>Secretly she enjoys having you be able to carry her like she carried you.
>"It feels AMAZING Luna, you HAVE to try it! It just makes you feel so safe!"
 
>"Wait, what are you doing, sweetie?"
>you pick her up and wear her around your neck like a warm fuzzy fur stole
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
>"This is undignified!"
"Uh huh."
>"Have you no respect for your mother?"
"None whatsoever," you reply cheerfully
>"I'm going to have to take you to a shrink, aren't I?"
"I thought a 'shrink' was how we got here in the first place."
>she laughs
>it was one of those days
=======================================================================================================================================
>First trip to Earth
>Mirror somehow fucks up and has a sort of reverse effect on ponies
>Turns them into rl horses
>"Ehh, Your Highness, Prince Anonymous, we're all very happy to make your acquaintances."
>Mom gives a few nods and grunts
>'My mother and I return the sentiments, Mr. President, Cabinet members.'
>"Outstanding. Would you like to be done with formalities and sign the peace accords right away or-"
>Mom stomps a hoof a few times
>'Mom, Coldstone is always going to be there, infact we alerted them days in advance so they wouldn't run out of ice cream.'
>[Impatient whinny]
>'I really think the peace accord should take priority here, mom.'
>[ANGRY STOMPING]
>'OK, FINE. MR PRESIDENT, I KNOW WE'RE ON THE VERGE OF A HISTORIC MERGER HERE BUT APPARENTLY MY MOTHER CAN ONLY BE CONTENT IF YOU'D HAPPEN TO HAVE A REESE'S CUPS OR SOME OATS LYING AROUND.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestias from across various realities convene at a central hub for an exchange of knowledge for the betterment of each of them.
>There is also a cake eating competition.
>Some are human, while others are equestrian.
>Some bring guests, like Luna, Twilight, and some bring Anon.
>Being from all different realities, Anon is sometimes a friend, a lover, and her adoptive son.
>The Celestias tend to form groups of similar Celestias and stay with them most of the time at these meetings.
>Several non momlestia Celestias feel more than a little bit jealous of watching a Celestia with her son.
>They feel a part inside of themself awaken that they never knew they had or wanted.
>They want to be a mother too.
>Maybe next meeting they will have a child of their very own.
 
heh
>some Celestias are even different species
>the Evil Celestias make catty remarks at the Daybreakers, and vice versa
>but even they don't start shit with the Conversion Bureau Celestias
>bitches be akkin cray cray, gnomesayin?
>it never fails that at least one Queen Chrysalis tries to sneak in, in disguise, every Celestiacon
>also at least one Conversion Bureau Celestia gets in a shouting match with one of the human Celestias, or with a Celestia who brought in an Anon
>gets told they'll revoke her con badge if she doesn't calm down
>usually says she'll make her own human-free convention, with blackjack and hookers
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon reads up on Alicorn and Royal Family history
>Realizes he's been courting his mother and aunt all wrong
>Enters daycourt while his mother is mediating an argument between two nobles
>"Ah, hello, my sunshine. Did you come to watch mommy-"
>Anonymous snorts and stomps his foot
>"EVERYPONY OUT. NOW."
>His stare intensifies as his mother begins magic'ing off her regalia and locking the doors
>"So. I take it a certain someone enjoyed the suggested reading your Aunt and I provided?"
>He slaps her flank and bites the scruff of her neck before aligning with her
>"MMmph, no talking, huh? OohH...AAah~ My sweet boy is intent on s-staying in characterrR.."
>Anonymous becomes significantly less verbal with his mother and aunt, preferring touching and facial expressions to communicate
>An attention starved Aunt Luna is over the moon about it
 
>"R-renew thy fervor and repeat your actions!"
>"Neigh, w-worry not about our wellbeing, N-nephew, do not falter, do not let up."
>Jeeze, how much more tummyrubs can this pony take?
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Prince Anonymous, Princess! C-could the two of you turn this way and smile?"
>Anonymous looks up from his ministrations
>What the fuck. Mom, isn't the royal airspace a no-fly zone for these taints?
>"Hey! Freedom of the press, Your Princely-ness."
>'My little pony, I can wholeheartedly respect the dedication to your craft, but if you don't want an album full of 8x10's of your own trachea, I suggest you cease immediately.'
>"S-sure thing, Your Majesty, Ma'am, Princess.."
=======================================================================================================================================
So how does everyone feel about grandpa Starswirl joining the family?
 
>"Anonymous, sweetheart? This was mommy & auntie's teacher."
>'Nice going, Gandalf, all you did was teach them that cake is a food group.'
>"Anonymous, hush. Pardon my son, Starswirl, he's inherited Luna's smart alec tongue-"
>'And your metabolism, because I can also eat cake like it's going out of style and not gain weight either, BOOM, BABY!'
>"ANONYMOUS. ROOM NOW."
>'It was nice meeting you again, Mr. David Blaine the bearded.'
 
>Now that Starswirl is back, Mom insists he becomes your teacher.
>In a surprise twist Luna and Momlestia have to go back to school also.
>They may be taking things a tad too serious...
>Mom treats it like a high school hentai
>Auntie is acting like a tsundere yankee(hentai)
 
>"Psssst, p-pass this note to Anon-kun, please.."
>'..Mom, it's me. It's just us 3 in here.'
>"Shhhh! Baka! I don't want him to know I like him!"
>W-WE ARE IN THIS CLASS AS WELL, SISTER, NEPHEW
 
>All her notes are written in Kanji
>Which you can't read
 
>You're looking at the note mom passed you
>You're sure you've seen some of those...things..letters(?) tattooed on ponies here and there
>Your neighponese isn't what it used to be but you think it deciphers as "Anonymous, I want your sweet & sour sauce long time panda express thank you come again wisdom"
 
>”Psst! Anon-kun!”
>You sigh as momlestia passes you a note in moonspeak
>”私は観客の下であなたを吸いたい”
“I can’t read this.”
>You look at momlestia who is wagging her eyebrows.
>”Hey b-baka nephew-kun!”
>Auntie Luna also?
>Her note says “私のジューシーなお尻を食べる”
“Why hasn’t google translate been invented yet?”
 
>You will never be the only english speaking shounen in a class full of ponies communicating in moonspeak
>You will never understand why everyone blushes every time your mom opens her mouth
=======================================================================================================================================
>Due to oedipus related shenanigans during a tutorial in alchemy with Starswirl, you’ve been sent back in time where you encounter young momlestia and Luna! How do you handle a cocky, bratty Celestia and an inept lu-normal Luna?
 
>"Why do you keep calling me 'mom'?"
>"..I mean, I don't NOT like it..just wondering."
>'Y-you are our nephew? Then surely, thou must know the customary greeting for a nephew to his aunt.'
>Fun sized Auntie is trying to magic off your belt and pants
>"Oh my gosh, Luna, stop trying to get into his pants!"
>"I'M the big sister so naturally I would go first.."
>UHHH, I HAVE SOME CONCERNS
>"Oh don't worry, sunshine~ I'll be gentle."
 
>"...and now we add the newt's tail."
>StarSwirl drops the dried flesh into a bubbling cauldron pot, with a soft "plop".
>Be Anonymous the human, and adopted son to the ruling matriarch of the country, Princess Celestia.
>You yawn, from your desk seat, struggling to stay awake.
>You're currently being forced to sit through a StarSwirl the bearded Alchemy lecture, with Twilight Sparkle in Celestia and Luna's old classroom.
>Why did this purple bastard have to bring this boring fucker out of limbo?
>Mom thought it'd "expand your horizons" to learn a little Alchemy.
>It's not what you were expecting. No transmutation circles. Np talk about equivalent exchange. No kickass metal Arm and leg. No suit of Armor Aunt. BORING.
>"Next we'll add powdered Frog testicles, and let the concoction simmer for about thirty minutes! In the meantime, we'll go over the periodic table of elements!"
>Twilight grins hard, and looks at you.
>"Isn't this FASCINATING?! Me the Princess of Friendship, learning the secrets of Magic alongside the Handsome Prince Anonymous?!"
"Cool it Purple Stuff. Only Sunny D flows through these veins."
>She doesn't quite get your comment, but continues to mark out.
>"What do you think he'll teach us next?! Maybe we'll get HOMEWORK!"
>Oh my fucking god. How nerdy can you get?"
>You sigh, and lean back in your chair, as StarSwirl continues to blather on about what the fuck ever.
>Your eyes start to get heavy.
>Maybe you'll just close them for a bit...
>WHACK
>You nearly fall out of your seat, a yardstick resting in front of you on your desk.
>"Well, well! It seems the prince is so advanced in his studies he can answer a question for me?"
>Starswirl gives you a harsh glare, making you gulp loudly.
"O-of course I was! Ask me whatever you want!"
>He grins through his beard.
>"Very well. Perhaps you can tell me the what these combined items create?"
"Y-yes?"
>He clears his throat.
>"Glycerin,Nonoxynol-9,Propylene glycol,Parabens,Chlorhexidine gluconate?"
>You put a finger to your chin, starting to sweat.
>Twilight and StarSwirl stare at you intently.
>Having no access to Google, and thinking of nothing but how to dip your pecker in something, you say the first thing that comes to mind.
"Peanut Butter?"
>"..."
>"..."
"..."
>He clears his throat again.
>"I suppose you were paying attention after all. Well then! Moving on-"
>"Wow...You're so smart Anon! M-maybe we can study together later...?"
"Ew. No."
>She hangs her head in sadness.
>Damn Thot.
>StarSwirl continues to go on and on about his mysterious orange potion, while you continue to fight off slumber.
>A soft knock on the classroom door breaks the monotone lecture.
>A guard pony pokes his head into the room.
>StarSwirl sir. You have a visitor here to see you. She's waiting in the foyer."
>"Oho~ a lady? I'll be right there!"
>He looks at you and Twilight.
>"You two study by yourselves. I'll be back shortly!"
>He adjusts his hair and beard before leaving the classroom, and following the guard to meet his visitor.
"Oh my god. FINALLY."
>You lay your head on the desk.
>"What's wrong Anon? Aren't you enjoying the lecture? It's so-so-INFORMATIVE."
>You turn your head so you're staring at Sparkle.
"See, this is why I don't bed you Twilight. This is why I don't give you that desperately sought after sip of water that is my body. Why you remain a thirsty virgin."
>She puffs her cheeks out.
>"I am NOT thirsty!"
>She turns away to her notes, refusing to talk anymore.
>You rise out of your seat, and saunter over to the cauldron and look in at the bubbling mixture.
>It smells awful.
>"Be careful with that! You don't know what it does!"
"I was just looking! Shut up."
>Another knock at the door, and the creaking of the old wood, freezes you in place.
>"Helllloo~"
>Momlestia and Lunaunt poke their heads through.
>"Hey you two, how goes the class?"
>"WE ARE HERE ALSO."
"Oh. It's you two!"
>"Princess Celestia! Luna!"
>They both enter the classroom.
>"Hello Twilight. Are you enjoying Starswirl's teachings?"
>"WHY DID YOU NOT ALSO CALL ME PRINCESS?"
>You snort.
"No offense Mom, but this guy is about as fascinating as watching paint dry. How did you two ever tolerate this guy?"
>Celestia chuckles.
>"Now, now Anon. Whole he may not be the most verbally stimulating of ponies, he is wise, and says things that you should take note of."
>You roll your eyes.
"Yeah, I bet. Look at me~ I'm StarSwirl. BLAH BLAH BLAH, BAT TITTIE CRUST."
>You pretend to pour a random bottle into the pot.
"BLAH BLAH BLAH, BREEZIE SEMEN AND BUTTERFLY NUTSACKS!"
>Twilight leans on her desk jabbing a hoof at you.
>"Hey be careful! Put that stuff down!"
>Luna giggles.
>"THAT IS HIM SPOT ON NEPHEW."
>Why is she yelling?
"Now then we add all the ingredients to create Viagra for my floppy old pony boner!"
>Celestia stifles laughter.
>"A-anon! Be nice!"
>You put the bottles back onto the shelf they were located, but one in particular catches your eye.
"Pixie dust?"
>You pick it up, and inspect the contents through the glass.
>Celestia moves next to you.
>"Pixie Dust? My my. He's obtained something rare."
"Really? I'd have thought Pixies were a normal thing here."
>She smiles.
>"Pixies are pretty common, but obtaining their dust is pretty difficult."
"Zat so?"
>You take the cork out of the bottle and sniff it.
"Smells weird."
>Celestia looks at you with wide eyes.
>Twilight is also.
"What?"
>Luna stands there with a deadpan face.
"WHAT?"
>Momlestia let's out a sigh of relief.
>"H-ha ha. I thought for a second there you were about to sneeze or something."
"Why would I sneeze?"
>"BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN IN THE COSMOS, THAT YOU SNEEZE FROM SNIFFING DUST."'
"Room volume Auntie. Please. My ears can't take anymore."
>"Yes sister. I think it's best that you- AAAAHHHHCHOOOOOOOOOO-"
>Son of a bitch.
>A Canterlot voice sneeze is like taking an incredible Hulk Clap to the face.
>It not only blows you away, but shatters all the contents of the numerous bottles on the shelf, the various items falling into the cauldron with an extra piece.
>Namely you.
>You land head first inside the massive pot. flailing and kicking to get topside.
>Sputtering out the foul tasting liquid, you wipe your eyes, trying to exit the pot.
>"Anon! Hurry and get out! Somethings happening!"
"WHAT?! What's happening?! Am I getting Alchemy Powers?!"
>"GET OUT OF THE POT NEPHEW!"
>You go to the rim of the pot, still blinded, and tumble out of it onto the hard tile.
>Wait, tile?
>Isn't the class floor wood?
>You wipe gunk from your eyes again until you can see.
>In front of you are Three pony silhouettes. Two tall ones and a short one.
"What happened? Did the potion change the floor of the room or something?"
>Your vision finally begins to clear up.
"Mom? Auntie? Why isn't anyone talking?"
>Images finally come into light, and-
"....Uh..."
>StarSwirl, and what appears to be a younger version of Celestia, and Luna all stare at you in silence.
>You stare back, switching your view between the three of them.
>The looks you're getting aren't that of "acceptance, and concern", but more like "Fear" and "Black guy walking towards you on the sidewalk".
>You gulp loudly.
"Now before you freak out, let me try one thing."
>You kneel down, and clap your hands, and touch the ground.
>Nothing happens.
"Shit,"
>"GUARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!"
>Before you can say anything, soldiers burst into the throne room, spears pointed at you.
>Oh yeah, you're in the throne room.
>A short time later-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-nuWY4-ZQE
>"You stay in there until their Majesty decide what to do with you, hairless assassin!"
"Assassin? What type of cliche misunderstanding is this?"
>The guard shakes his head, trotting away, as you grasp the cell bars.
"Well. This is bullshit. Now what?"
>You look around the dungeon area. You've never actually been here before, now that you think about it. Unless Auntie Luna's hidden Sex dungeon counts that is.
>You see all the tropes of a good prison. Mystery puddles, vermin. A little bit of doo doo here and there. Yep. Only one thing would make this experience completely authentic.
>You hear something behind you sniffle, and know you shouldn't have said anything.
>"Well hey there~"
>You take a deep breath, and look over your shoulder only to be met with a set of green eyes. Glowing Green eyes.
"H-hello...?"
>The green eyes narrow.
>"I didn't think I'd get a visitor in these lonely dungeons, much less a cell mate...what's your name, pretty mouth?"
>Aw shit. Not a mouth compliment!
"I-I'm...uh..."
>No powerwords. If this assumed rapist ever escapes, and comes looking for you, you can't have them know your name!
"My name is--uh--"
>You look around.
>You see a bird with a puffy red hairdo with freckles fly by.
"Annie-"
>Next you spot a rat eating a block of cheese.
>--Nom-"
>You see a AA battery laying in the corner, but the + side is gone showing only the minus end.
"--Minus! Anonymous! DAMMIT!"
>You facepalm.
>The Green eyes blink, and you see a toothy white smile.
>"Anonymous. That's a pretty name. Has anyone ever told you, you have a REALLY pretty little butt as well...?"
>The eyes seem to be getting closer.
"I-I've heard such things."
>"Mhmm~ I've been in here for a loooong time. It's gets awfully LONESOME in here...Why I can't remember the last time I felt LOVE from another being...With such a beautiful little mouth, and tight butt..."
>Oh Boy.
=======================================================================================================================================
So how would Anon and Lulu handle a drunk mom?
 
With tender loving care.
>"Pffft-fffft!!! A-anonymous? A-and YOU, Twilight?"
>"HAHAHAH!!!"
>"Oh-oh-Oh m-my sides!"
>"Heyyyy! *hic* There he is now! Mmmm, mommy's designated cuddler."
>'Really, Twilight?' You state angrily
>'THIS is helping my mom unwind?'
>"Anon-, Anenome-, Anonymoush, b-baby, let's do it right here in this bar, I *hic* I *hic* I WANT them to see us."
>You heave a soused momhorse over your shoulders
>"..I really expected better of you, Twilight."
>'C-can I *hic*..can I get some fries that shake, sweetheart?'
>"Easy, mom. I'm putting you right to bed when we get home."
>'Y-your racecar bed? I wanna *hic* I wanna sleep with you tonight, muh sun*hic*shine.'
 
>>"Pffft-fffft!!! A-anonymous? A-and YOU, Twilight?"
>>"HAHAHAH!!!"
>>"Oh-oh-Oh m-my sides!"
 
>"If anything your ass would be a cock sock for him and that's it!"
 
>Twilight hears this and thinks there's a chance
>Decides to take a bureaucratic approach
>Scans every book on royal law she can find
>Finds one stating the prince must pleasure every able bodied mare every blah blah years or so
>The day comes where mares line up for miles to get on The Prince's Wild Ride
>Twilight teleports to the front of the line
>"Twilight, what are you doing here?"
>'Princesses? I-I'm here for my turn, too!'
>The sisters exchange looks
>"..May I ask where your ticket is, Twilight?"
>'M-my what?'
>"Oh for tartarus sake, Twilight, REALLY?"
>The other mares in line start laughing
>"Nnngh, get a load a' thissun' gals!" Granny Smith exclaims pointing her cane
>"Lil' Miss Princess here figured she'd just saunter on up to the fronta' the line an the daggum fool don't even have her ticket!"
Twilight's gonna die of that thirst, bruh
=======================================================================================================================================
>Every time I look at you Anon, All I see is a foal in need of a mother
>Anon's first visit to meet Princess Celestia
>"..Anonymous, does your kind not have a coat to shield from the elements?"
>'Huh? I have a jacket, yes, but it's what..like 72 outside? I'll be fine, thanks.'
>"I understand, Anonymous..though in the future will you promise to always take one just in case?"
>'Haha, sure, MOM, gosh..'
>Bigmomhorsesuddenrealization.avi
 
>Celestia insists that Anon live with her in the castle
>"Every time I look at you Anon, All I see is a foal in need of a mother."
>Anon says that he's flattered, but he's an adult with a job and a house and a mortgage
>Celestia returns by saying that at her age, every one of her little ponies are foals to her, and Anon is no different
>Anon looks to Twilight for support, but she's too busy having 'Nam flashbacks from when SHE was on the receiving end of this treatment
>Celestia gently tells him, "Let's go home."
>Next thing he knows, there's a golden light and he's suddenly in the throne room
>Luna looks exasperated and resigned
 
>Exasperated
>Visible shaking and sweating
>[T-Tia has brought a stallion to live with us?]
>[One whom she intends to mother, no less?]
>[What if WE should be called upon to provide..Aunt-like duties?]
>[..L-lewd.]
>Anon notices this horse staring right through him
>"Uh..hi?"
>'Y-YOU TOO.'
 
>>[What if WE should be called upon to provide..Aunt-like duties?]
>Back in Luna's day, certain family members generally provided certain "services"
>It's only been a little bit since she got back home, so Luna hasn't quite caught up yet to modern times and expectations
>Thinks that it'll be her duty to give Anon his happy birthday blowjob
 
>"Luna, you didn't forget about Anon's birthday this weekend, did you?"
>[I-is she perhaps reminding me I will have to perform my aunt-like duties?]
>'Hi, Auntie! You're still coming to my party, right?'
>[COMING? P-PARTY?!]
>Her hind legs cross as she bites her lip
>'..Mom, is she alright?'
>"She's fine, I'm sure. Probably just thinking about that nice, big, cake..mm, I know I am."
>[YOUR NEPHEWS NICE BIG COCK]
>[Teleporting moonhorse noises]
=======================================================================================================================================
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtxUHECAWh4
>'A-anonymous, is that you?' Mom calls from her room
>'Luna? Anonymous?'
>'Well..I'm going to get nude and take a shower now.'
>'..Sure hope there isn't a sex crazed son lurking around..'
>'..Because I'm completely nude and lying in a prone position on my bed right now.'
>"Mom!" You call from downstairs
>"Mom, Auntie and I want to start the movie now, c'mon."
>'Curse their weakness for campy slasher flicks..'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"S-sister! What is the meaning of this insolence!?"
>'This time of year always brings out the worst in you, Luna. Perhaps you need to get back to basics and re-learn foal's manners.'
>"BASIC FOAL'S MANNERS!? PRODIGOUS BOTTOMED SUNSPOT, WE ARE THE NIGHT!"
>'See? There you go-, Anonymous, sweetheart, help mommy out here.'
>Help you with what, mom-, OH MY GOD, IS THAT AUNTIE?
>"YES, NEPHEW, TIS WE! Q-QUICKLY, WE MUST ABSCOND TO OUR CHAMBERS AND REVERSE THIS HEX!"
>YOU ARE JUST TOO CUTE LIKE THIS OH MY GOD!!!
>"NO!! AHAHA!!~, C-CEASE WORKING YOUR EVIL DARK MAGIC WITH YOUR HOOFSPIDERS.."
>"T-THE PENALTY FOR RASPBERRYING THE LUNAR SCOURGE IS DEATH, AHAHAH!!, S-STOP!"
 
>Luna is the only foal-fied pony who doesn't cry when he picks them up
>His aunt is quite content to fall asleep in his arms and whines whenever he puts her down
>Luna is beyond humiliated about this when she gets turned back into an adult
"Auntie, I had no idea you were such a cuddle-bug."
>"H-Hold thy tongue, knave."
 
>Luna's return and riddance of Nightmare Moon occurs when Anon is already an adult
>She finds an excuse to be carried around by him 24/7 as "Making up for lost time"
>Mom jelly
>"Anonymous, did Luna tell you she's quite capable of taking a normal GROWN form at any time?"
>'HUSH, SISTER.'
 
"I dunno, mom. I mean, she's the perfect size for snuggles. I think someone's jealous that she can't be carried around too."
>Celestia grumpily insists that SHE's also the perfect size for snuggles
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous...Anoooonymous...wake up, wake up, wake up~"
>'Zzzz..nnngowey..'
>"Anonymousss~ Sweetheart, this is your mother talking.."
>'Mmph..zZzz..snrghzzzt..'
>"Rise, my sunshine, we've much to do."
>Anon's body complies with the command but otherwise remains in a sleep state
>Mom's imp form perches on his shoulder
>"Wonderful. Now. Let's go..brighten some days, hmm?"
>'Zzzz..I obey, mother..Zzzz.'
>Anon is confused when he reads the next days headlines
>[UNIDENTIFIED BIPEDAL FIGURE TERRORIZES BIRTHDAY REVELERS AND BURGLARIZES BAKERIES]
 
>Celestia is the little angel on his shoulder
>She is also the little devil on his other shoulder
>Both of them want Anon to get them cake
=======================================================================================================================================
>>Cadence is always forward with the sexual innuendos
>>"Don't worry, Anon! I may be an adult, but the age of consent is 14 in the Crystal Empire."
 
>Peetzer is the older cousin who comes over to your house unannounced and drinks all your beer
>Once she's drunk, you have to put up with her intoxicated advances
>She complains that you focus too much on school and not enough on having fun, and her first attempt to molest you is interrupted when you rush over to keep one of her spilled drinks from ruining your homework
>She keeps on insisting that where she comes from, the age of consent is lower than it is where you live but conveniently exactly how old you are
>All this behaviour is excused because she's a "foreigner"
just like my japanese animes
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom raises the sun and rules over a kingdom
>Auntie raises the moon and also rules over a kingdom
>Cousin Cadance rules over a mythical empire
>Twilight has her own castle and alicorn abilities
>And then there's you
>You can... ride on the coattails of your family
 
"Hey, now, that's not very fair. I'm not an alicorn like my family, but that doesn't mean I'm useless, right?"
"Maybe I'm not magic like my mother and my aunt. Maybe I can't raise the sun or the moon. Maybe I don't have any talent with match-making like my cousin, or any real grasp on magic like my other cousin. Heck, maybe I can't really even do anything useful for the family. Maybe, sometimes I catch my mother looking at me with a disappointed expression on her face. M-Maybe aunt Luna is suddenly busy whenever I ask if she wants to hang out. Maybe... maybe Cadence stopped returning my letters. Maybe I haven't even SEEN Twilight for... for at least 3 or 4 months... even when she visits the castle... M-Maybe the staff don't... don't ever even recognize me as a Princes and won't listen to anything I say... B-But it's not like I'm useless, right?"
>Anon goes to his room and gets drunk
=======================================================================================================================================
>Be Celestia.
>"Go on, do it. It won't bring your son's virginity back."
>Your magic wavers a bit but still holds strong.
"Y-You will pay!"
>She laughs at that.
>"I could but that changes nothing, I've already won!" Her eyes narrow. "Whenever your 'Sunshine' see's a crossbow. He'll think of me!"
>You push the knife closer.
"I wanted to be the one to teach him to shoot his first crossbow!"
>At this point Luna walks in.
>"Um, sister? What is all the noise?" She ask looking confused.
"This whorse taught Anon to fire a crossbow!"
>Luna looks more confused.
>"Today?"
"YES! I caught her doing it!"
>"Actually sister, we taught nephew to shoot when he was nine."
>Your eyes go wide.
"You WHAT!?"
>The pink mare reaches into her mane.
>"Yes, we believe you should teach them young. That way they know proper safety." As she finishes you point your blade to her and Pinkie whips a switchblade out of her mane pointing it towards your sister.
>Luna looks at the two for a moment before narrowing her eyes.
>"Do it bitch."
 
>Pinkie wants all the human dick to herself
>Makes it her mission in life to beat Celestia to any major "first"s for Anon
>First kiss?
>Pinkie Pie just happened to be visiting the castle and she had some extra party food with her, so she invited Anon to join her and finish it off. Anon had no idea it was a date until Pinkie kissed him goodnight and left.
>First time touching teats?
>Pinkie Pie just so happens to have an appointment in Canterlot and decided to visit the castle. She accidentally packed a child's book on where babies came from, and she decides to teach Anon about the pegasi and the parasprites. To make the experience all the more educational, she rolls onto her side, raises a leg, and invites Anon to grope away until his curiosity is sated.
>First time being touched "down there"?
>Pinkie in a lab coat and wearing a big fake mustache, making up bullshit lies about being a doctor and having to check up on Anon's sexual health.
>First time having sex?
>Pinkie somehow makes it past the guards during estrus week and corners Anon, begging him to help cool the fire in her loins.
It's Pinkie. It's always Pinkie and Celestia will never be able to stop her.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon decides to join the royal guard to protect his mom like she did him.
>Mares that were into Anon before don't know what to do now.
>Celestia has a speech to give in Ponyville and Anon comes with as her guard.
>Twilight is sitting on her castles balcony.
“Anon was hot before, but something about a colt in uniform. Unf!” Twilight says to herself as she takes a sip of wine and looks through her binoculars.
>”I know right?” Glimmer says sitting next to her.
>”Hey can you pass the peetzer Twi?” Cadence ask.
>”It's pizza! Pi! Za!” Glimmer scolds.
>”Peetzer!”
>Inkwell sighs face hoofing.
>”I've been trying for years Starlight.” She says.
>”We agree, our nephew is quiet the specimen… if any of you touch him you'll have nightmares for the rest of your time.” Luna says glaring at Starlight specifically.
>Anon notices the mares on the balcony.
>He looks at his mother to make sure she's not paying him any attention, he moves his armor to the side allowing him to lift his shirt up a bit showing them what royal guard training has given him.
>The mares on the balcony drop their jaws as the mares of the crowd cheer.
>Anon quickly fixes his armor before Celestia looks back.
>Soon she continues her speech.
>A few minutes later Anon places his spear in front of him and starts gyrating his hips the guard next to him snorts as the mares of the crowd cheer again.
>Celestia turns around to see Anon standing at attention with a stone face.
>She assumes the crowd was cheering for her speech and continues.
>Anon nudges the guard by him and whispers in his ear.
>”W-What's he saying Twilight?” Starlight ask.
“Shh, I don't know.”
>The guard then 180's and looks behind himself to the crowd as he begins to spin his flank around causing his tail to spin like a fan.
>The crowd cheer again but Celestia doesn't stop her speech or turn around still believing the crowd is cheering for her.
>Soon Anon gives the mares on the balcony half lidded eyes and bites his lower lip as he begins to slowly hump the air his hands on the back of his head.
>This continues as the mares of the crowd cheer and Celestia continues her speech with a bigger smile at the fact her ponies enjoy her.
>As the speech goes on Celestia occasionally looks back but see's nothing.
>At one point Anon gets gutsy and takes guard position behind her and puts his hands just above her back and air thrust.
>Eventually Celestia ends her speech and leaves with a bit of pride that it went so well.
“S-So that happened…” Twilight says her back hooves held tightly together.
>”Y-Yeah…” Glimmer mumbles.
>”It was… enjoyable.” Inkwell says holding her tail to herself.
>Glimmer looks over at Inkwell confused.
>”Wasn't Celestia your ride?” Glimmer ask.
>”I'll take a train, this show was worth it.”
>”Worry not Inkwell we'll teleport us home.” Luna says patting her back with a wing.
>”That works too.”
>Starlight perks up at this.
>”Take me with you! I wanna go where the guards are!” Glimmer yelps.
>Luna puts a hoof to her chin thinking about it.
>”Mmm, nope.” She says teleporting herself and Inkwell to Canterlot.
>Starlight's head drops before she remembers something.
>”Cadence!” She yelps grabbing Cadence's hoof. “You can teleport me to Canterlot!”
>Cadence looks at her a devious smirk on her face.
>”I can, but one question. Is it pizza, or peetzer?”
>Starlight looks back at the floor releasing her hoof as she fights herself.
>Finally she looks up at Cadence with a defiant face.
>”Pizza.” She says flatly.
>”Fine, die a virgin.” Cadance says teliporting away from the lost mare and to the Crystal Empire.
>Twilight gets up and trot's inside.
>”We're you going?” Starlight ask.
“I'm going to flick the bean while thinking of the prince.” Twilight says trotting to her room and locking the door.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon sitting uncomfortably at a table while he has tea with Celestia
>Anon nodding and smiling but otherwise remaining silent while Celestia makes conversation with him
>Anon feeling distinctly uncomfortable when Celestia calls him "my sunshine"
>Anon wondering if he left the stove on back home in Ponyville and if his employers will believe that he was kidnapped by the Princess
=======================================================================================================================================
"Did they say what they named their kid?"
>"Cadance didn't say, and Shining Armor started to say 'Flurry' something before Cadance told him not to say."
>You mom, aunt, and yourself are flying in the royal chariot.
>"Speaking of the royal heir, when should we expect one of your own Anonymous?"
"Really?"
>"It seems like a legitimate question sunshine."
"I need to find a good non gold digging made first mom."
>"There's always Twilight sweetheart. You were such good friends growing up."
"I'll have to think about it mom."
>"At least it isn't a no."
>You land and are greeted by a very weary looking Shining Armor.
>"Hey everypony, I was just looking for you."
"You were? You were just standing there."
>"I was? It's hard to tell. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep recently. But you're here to see Cadance and the baby. Follow me."
>He leads you down the hallway.
"I've seen him do a double shift as a guard and not look this tired."
>"Being a new parent will do that."
>"And here she is, little Flurryheart."
>Shining says escorting you all to the nursery.
>"I gotta go, Twily will be here soon."
>He turns and walks into a wall before stumbling out.
>Cadance winced.
>"I should really make sure he's okay."
>She looks back at the crib.
>"Its alright, I can take care of her if anything happens."
>She nods at your mom and leaves.
>You all huddle around the crib and both mom and Luna tense up looking at the baby.
"Huh, so that's what a baby alicorn looks like. You two look like her when you were born mom?"
>"..."
"Mom?"
>"This thing creeps the shit outta me."
"Mom?"
>She speaks the truth Anonymous. It seems our niece has spawned a monster."
>"Maybe you shouldn't rush to have an heir sunshine..."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Principal Mom will never drive you to school with her and aunt Luna every morning
>She will never act possessive of you to make sure that any interested female students know to stay away from you
>She and aunt Luna will never comfort you when you get home because nobody seems to want to be friends with you
>They will never cuddle with you and reassure you that they'll always be there for you
>One of their hands will slowly start to slip down your chest and towards your waistband as they lovingly press kisses onto your head and face
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia makes bets with Anon when she sits down and plays vidya with him
>They start off innocent enough
>"If I win this race, you've got to spend 3 evenings this week cuddling with your aunt and I"
>Then they move up to what could be misconstrued as l-lewd
>"If I win THIS race, you've got to let me help you take a bath for a week."
"Mom!"
>"A PROPER bath, young man. Half the boys your age don't even bother bathing before they go to school in the morning, and I want to make sure you don't become one of them. And if that means stripping naked and sitting in the tub with you, then so be it."
>Finally, Celestia drops all pretenses and gets incredibly l-lewd
>"Okay, sweetie. If I can come first place in this entire circuit, you've got to sleep in mommy and auntie's bed tonight. And I promise we won't be getting very much sleep."
>Anon thinks that these will be easy bets
>His teenage pride won't let him consider giving up, even when Celestia starts to beat him as the bets become more and more sexual in nature
>Little does he know, Luna has been teaching her sister how to play this game for the sole purpose of making these bets with Anon
>All according to ching-chong word for plan.
=======================================================================================================================================
”Nngh.”
>You toss and turn in your sleep.
>Cerberus is chasing you and your son Anonymous through the halls of the castle
>”C’mon mom! This way! I think we can lose him around the corner-!
>You open your mouth but no words come out.
>Before you can warn him, the Cerberus chomps down on him, blood splattering everywhere.
>You wake up screaming.
>”Sister! Are you okay?! We saw your nightmare!”
>You take a few deep breaths, tears falling from your face.
“Oh Luna... I dreamt I watched Anonymous die before my eyes!”
>Luna frowns.
>”Sister, you’ve clearly been browsing Fourthchant again. Anonymous is just some character from a little colts cartoon. He’s not real.”
“O-oh. Right.”
>Luna leaves shaking her head, leaving you to sadly hum the lyrics to “Spring spruce-down”
>Ywn have a human son who will love you despite your position.
=======================================================================================================================================
>You're Anon, just hanging out at home waiting for a friend to drop a game off.
>Doorbell rings and you let him in.
>"Hey man, here's your game. Thanks again for letting me borrow it."
"Yeah, don't mention it."
>"You want to hang out tonight or something?"
"Not tonight. I'm going with my mom and aunt to see a movie."
>"So long as she isn't wearing that pant suit out."
"She doesn't wear that except for school."
>"Right, well mom jeans then."
>You just remembered your friends never saw your mom when she wasn't working.
>They said they didn't want to see the principal even outside of school.
>"Anon? You almost ready? Luna's just finishing up too- oh, hello Mr. Thompson."
>Your mom walks into the living room.
>"H-hello Principal Celestia."
>"I don't know about you two, but I'm ready."
>Luna says, also walking into the living room.
>She is wearing her beat up jeans and a superhero graphic tee.
>"Hello Mr. Thompson."
>"Hello Vice Principal Luna."
>"Please, we're off school grounds. Just Miss Luna is fine."
"He was just dropping off a game I let him borrow."
>Luna looks at the box.
>"Oh good, now we can play it again."
>"Well we should be going if we're going to make the restaurant before the movie starts. It was good to see you again Mr. Thompson."
>"Y-you too."
"I'll see you later then."
>He just keeps staring at them, so you just slowly start closing the door on him.
>"Sorry if we embarrassed you in front of your friend sunshine."
"No, no, it's fine. If anything, he embarrassed me."
>Luna looks out the window and still sees him standing there.
>"We should probably go out the back door then."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Grrrr, isn't this exciting, sweetheart? I'm like a mommy tiger."
>'This is extremely emasculating. I am a grown man quite capable of walking, thank you.'
>[Big mom purr noises]
 
>"My nephew. So delicate. My miniscule dreamer~"
>'Mmm he certainly is a little treasure, isn't he?'
>I AM NOT SMALL, YOU BOTH SHRUNK ME, I AM A GROWN MAN
>"Shhh~ Let us find you a..comfortable place for the night."
>Yeah I figure I should turn in about no-..wait..wait, no, NO!
>NO! I DON'T WANNA PLAY CAVE EXPLORER!
=======================================================================================================================================
"M-Mom, please!"
>Celestia chuckles and gazes at you with half closed heavily-lidded eyes
>The silk housecoat slips off of her creamy shoulders and reveals inches and inches of flawless skin.
>Your mom, only in her late 30's, kept herself in great shape.
>"But sunshine," she says in a mock-whine, "It's meant to be."
>She reaches out with a hand and gently drags her fingers down your bare chest, and her touch makes you shiver.
"It's... it's NOT meant to be..."
>This does nothing to dissuade your horny mother.
>"Honey, you're the only man in my life. You're the only man I need."
>With your back pressed against the headboard of your mom's queen-sized bed, you can't avoid the gentle kiss Celestia presses against your lips.
>Stupid Dean Cadence and her stupid bullshit horse magic.
>>"Oh, Anon, you and your mother are drifting apart. How about I talk to that girl I used to babysit and see if she can hook me up with some of that neat magic my other self has. That'll fix you right up!"
>THANKS A FUCKING LOT, YOU ASSHOLE
>Your mom pulls away from the kiss and rubs her nose against yours.
>She smells like vanilla and lavender.
>"We're going to have so much fun tonight, Anon."
>When you feel a hand brush up against your traitorously-erect penis, you bolt; while the headboard prevented you from going backwards, NOTHING is stopping you from sliding under your mom and combat rolling onto the floor.
>...you snag a sweet glimpse at your mom's amazing tits, but you don't have time to focus on that.
>Your only hope is to keep your mom from bad-touching you until Auntie Luna gets home and slaps some sense back into Celestia.
>"Baby, come back! I promise I'll be gentle for your first time!"
>Whoof.
>You REALLY hope that Dean Cadence didn't think to magically zip-zap Luna, too.
>The last thing you need is--
>"Imagine how beautiful our children will be, Sunshine!"
>--TWO horny women trying to make you cum inside.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"..Anonymous Wayne Celestial-Skies so help me if you throw that ball.."
>'What ball, mom?'
>You make a few quick throwing motions in succession
>"THIN ICE right now, young man."
>'This is actually just a stress relieve squeeze toy, not a ba- GOGETIT, GIRL!'
>"BALL!"
>Mom darts right past a confused Auntie
>'H-HATH THE TIME FOR WALKIES ARRIVED?'
 
>"Don't do it."
"I'm not gonna do it."
>"Do NOT do it, young man."
"I'm really not going to do it, mom!"
>"Because if I have to-"
"BRINGITBACK"
...
"Why are you so mad? I had the ball right here in my hand the entire time, mom. I didn't throw it or anything."
 
>"What's that, mom? Bath?"
>You fake a surprised gasp
>"SOMEONE WANTS TO TAKE A BATH?!"
>'NO!'
>"I THINK SOMEONE WANTS TO TAKE A BAAATH AND GET ALL SUDSY! AND THEN POOFY WHEN SHE DRIES OFF!"
>[Angry mom grrrrr'ing]
=======================================================================================================================================
Mom's petplay kink is getting a little weird.
 
>Anon is a young boy
>He thinks Celestia is just playing
>Meanwhile, Celestia has never been so wet in her life
 
>decides early on she is going to share this love with her son
>poses it in ways that seem innocent to him
 
Not sure if I can post this image, so y'all get a link instead.
 
https://derpibooru.org/1486787
 
>'Mmm, brushie brushie feels good, huh, mommy?'
>"Oh y-yes, ah skies above YES! You make mommy feel so good, sweetheart."
 
>Meanwhile, Anon is just happy that he makes his mom happy
>The cuddle session after they're done playing is really weird, though
>Her body feels all hot and she really likes to rub against him, and she thinks he needs tongue bath all over his body.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia finds a young Anon
>Anon takes an instant liking to her
>Not knowing much about his species (read: nothing at all), Celestia makes big leaps of logic based on a very small pool of behaviour
>Immediately assumes that Anon imprints on parental figures like a bird
>Panics and begs Luna to dress up like her so that Anon doesn't imprint on the wrong alicorn
>"It's just a little bit of white paint, Luna! It'll wash RIGHT off when my little sunshine's in mamma's hooves again!"
 
>Anon makes a big warm snuggly pile of Celestia's bed sheets to nap in
>This further cements in Celestia's mind that Anon is basically some kind of bird
>It doesn't help that her phoenix has taken a liking to him
 
HerdAnon
 
>"Pilomena, I know you like Anon but he's -my- son!"
>"Craw!'
>"No! You did not hatch him!"
>"Craw craw craw!"
>"Human's do not come from eggs."
>"Craw!?"
>"I know because mammals don't come from eggs."
>"Ca-Craw?"
>"They don't count."
>"Craw!"
>"I am not a griffin racist!"
>Be Luna.
>You never thought you'd see the day your sister argued with a bird.
>"Ca-ca-craw!"
>Phoenix or not it's got guts.
>"Bring it on you fiery bitch!"
>Philomena raises up from her makeshift nest of blankets and expands her wings.
>Your sister expands her wings and gains a aggressive position.
>"CRAW!" Philomena screeches as she lunges at your sister.
>Although you'd love to watch the fight you figure getting your sleeping nephew away from the immortal death match is more important.
>You use your magic to levitate him from the phoenix's nest and onto your back between your wings.
>Leaving the room and closing the door just in time to avoid your sisters fireball magic you make your way down the hall.
>You really wish those two would grow up.
>Seriously? Fighting infront of a child, over said child?
>Pathetic.
>You open your door and are greeted by your two night guard.
"Is it prepared?"
>You ask the lieutenant.
>"Yes my princess." He says swiftly with a salute.
"Good, make sure none enter. Especially Celestia and the bird."
>"Yes my princess!" He says before both guards leave the room.
>Useing your magic you gently lift Anon from your back and place him in the center if the nest made of the best blankets.
>You had paid for the best blankets to be wrapped up in a nest type formation by the most skilled pegasi all placed upon your bed with dark curtains that block out all light around it.
>Gently you flap your wings and navigate yourself to land softly on top of your nephews curled up sleeping form.
>Once fully settled down you lay your head down and go to sleep.
>This'll teach her for painting your coat while you slept!
=======================================================================================================================================
“Good Morning Sunshine!”
>You tenderly kiss your Anonymous doll on it’s green head.
>You lift him into the air, swinging him around into a snuggle-hug.
“Her hee! That’s what moms do sunbeam! We’re supposed to embarrass you kiddo!”
>He stares blankly at you.
“Your favorite of course! Pancakes! I know how much you like my fruit decorations!”
>You Eskimo kiss him, and look into his eyes.
>A heavy, sad sigh escapes your mouth.
“Oh anonymous...why can’t you be real?”
>A tear falls from your cheek.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k0HEenaXBf8
 
>"Aah!"
>You jerk awake to the sound of a feminine shout.
>A split-second later, two soft things wrap around your chest, and you're pulled into a hug.
>It takes a few seconds for your half-asleep mind to really figure out what's going on
>By that point, you pick up the noise of gentle crying.
>As the familiar scent of vanilla and lavender fills your nose, you realize where you are and what happened.
"Oh, mom..."
>You wrap your arms around your mom's fluffy body and return the hug.
>Mom just cries a bit harder and starts to nuzzle the top of your head.
"Another nightmare?"
>Celestia sniffles and nods against you.
"I'm here now, mom. It happened years ago, and I was only missing for a few hours. I'm okay now."
>You squeeze your mom extra-hard, eliciting a squeak from her.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
>Within a few minutes, your mom calms back down and falls asleep with you still in her arms.
 
>You feel yourself smile.
>“Not going anywhere at all...Celestia. Celestia...”
“I love it when you say my name son...”
>”Celestia. Celestia....Princess Celestia...PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
>You jolt awake, looking around.
>Raven stands by your bedside with a concerned look.
>”Are you okay my lady? You were muttering in your sleep...”
“Why...WHY DID YOU WAKE ME?!”
>”Y-your highness?!?”
>You fight back tears with grit teeth.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell...is it time to get up?”
>Raven nods.
“Thank you. I’ll be up shortly.”
>Raven bows and leaves your chambers silently.
>You sniffle and look out to the still moonlit sky.
>You reach into your blanket and pull out Anonymous, and hold him close.
“You are my sunshine...my only sunshine...”
>Tears well up in your eyes.
>”You make me happy,when skies are gray...”
>Tears trickle down your cheeks.
“You’ll never know dear,how much I love you...”
>You raise the sun, holding Anon to your breast,eyes tightly closed.
“So don’t please take my sunshine....away...”
 
 
don’t change my green anon.take the feels L
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom and Auntie can imbue Anonymous with alicorn magic and a prolific lifespan but he is not immortal
>He lives for a few hundred thousand years at a time before "resting" in a sort of Heaven
>Mom & Auntie get bored waiting and decide to pay him a visit
>They ask Twilight to accompany them since an immense amount of magic is needed in order to cross over
>[Bam, magical crossover scene]
>"P-princess, it-..it's so beautiful.."
>'This is where my heart rests, Twilight Sparkle.'
>Aunt Luna encounters an eyeless seraph
>After a quick exchange it nods and raises an odd horn to it's mouth
>'Twilight, perform the strongest deafening spell you have on yourself immediately, you could die if you hear this.'
>Her barrier is up milliseconds before the sound begins to make everything shake
>The Princesses and all surroundings seem to blur as the sky lights up bright red
>The roar subsides as a star begins falling towards the group
>Halfway down, lightning begins striking the ground and a figure appears to be materializing
"Look, and be afraid, I am Star Wormwood, and upon the sounding of the sixth trumpet I sha-"
>'Anonymous, hush.' His mom says giggling while fighting back tears
>'H-he does this every time, Twilight.'
"Hello, Mother, Auntie, and Twilight."
"Can you sign me out, big guy? I think my stint in daycare is done for now." Anon says as he pats the seraph's shoulder
>It nods and clears the way for them to leave
"Thanks, bud, don't sit in my spot while I'm gone either, I'll know if you do."
>The rest of the group give a slight bow and leave with Anonymous
"Thanks for accompanying my mom & aunt, Twilight. You're not so bad when you're not fan-girling over us."
>He leans down and gives her a chaste kiss beneath her horn
>"Anonymous, I.."
>'It's just the Heaven talking, Twilight, he's always like this after leaving.'
"Mom pls"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon moves away
>Celestia gets lonely and visits his new home from time to time
>Goes out of her way to use his appliances incorrectly just to tweak his nose
>"I don't know what you're talking about, Sunshine. I'm getting a better wash in this contraption than I usually do in the royal bathing house."
 
>helping her out and drying her off
>feeling her soft body
 
>Drying her off
>She let’s out soft moans.
>”D-dry me inside too...”
>She presents a winking, dribbling vagina.
 
>"Wash me out in the yard, I deserve it, I've been bad~"
>'Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that once I've groomed the "cat", mom.'
>Anonymous is carrying his Aunt on his back as she nibbles his earlobes and licks the side of his face
>Mmmmraowr~
 
>"Luna he really does come off as too pure for his own good at times."
>'Agreed. Why just recently he politely abstained from partaking in some casual spanking with us!'
>"Like I said, too pure for his own good. My loving, handsome boy."
>'A strong resolve he has in order to pass up becoming more intimate with the dark side of our moon, as it were.'
>"He'll come around sooner than later, I hope."
>Meanwhile whenever Anon isn't circumventing their advances he's masturbating like there's no tomorrow while thinking of them
>"God my Aunt is so fucking HOT" He thinks while huffing her panties
>"FUCK, WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO LOVING AND GORGEOUS?!"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon likes Flurry because she does whatever she wants
>Volunteers to sit for her when Condense and Shiny are busy
>Carry's her around petting her like a Bond villain and his cat
>"W-what do you exshpect me to do, Greenfinger?"
>'What do I expect you to do, Mr. Bond?'
>'Ahahahah.' He laughs while petting a snoozing Flurry
>'I don't EXPECT you to do anything, Mr. Bond! Anything..except DIE!'
>"Yoo hoo, Anonymous, sweetie, I brought brownies and sunny D for you and your friend."
>'AH GOSH DANGIT, MOM, I'M-, MOM! THIS IS A WORK THING, HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Mom come on! It's right behind us!"
>Anon yells while leading you down the hallways of the castle.
>You were enjoying some cake with him and then a horned beast broke through the wall and started charging you.
>It's just like that nightmare you always have.
>Sometimes it's a monster, other times it's changelings, or-
>Wait, this is a dream.
>"We'll loose it around the corner mom."
>You look and see the end of tyhe hall leading to the throne room.
>Anon always gets attacked by something around that corner and you end up waking up.
"No! This way, hurry!"
>You pull him with your magic just before he reaches the corner.
>As if on queue, a giant claw slashes where he would have stepped.
>You pull him into a closet in the hallway and close the door.
>Turning around you now find yourself in your bedroom and see Luna standing there looking at you.
>"Tia, I know you are worried. But fear not, this is just a dream."
"I know."
>"Aunt Luna! Get mom out of here, I'll hold that thing off."
>She looks dejected at him and then to you.
>"I am not your aunt. You are a subconscious creation of my sister in the form of a mythical creature. Honestly Tia, if you want to dream of having a child then why not an equestrian one?"
>"I don't have time for your nonsense right now! That thing will break down the door any second. Now get her out of here!"
>"Tia, I can take a away the nightmare or you can wake up. The choice is yours."
>The door bangs and starts to break apart.
>Your son stands between you and the monster trying to get in.
>Luna must sense your hesitation.
>"He isn't real. This is a dream."
>"I'll die before I let you touch her."
>He yells at the door.
>You can't just let him go, not again.
>You start to chant an ancient magic long since forgotten.
>Luna stares blankly at you.
>"What are you doing?"
>Your subconscious mind alters part of the spell, adding to it some of Twilight's, Starswirl's, and other great magical minds spells you've read.
>A portal starts to slowly form behind you.
>Looking through it you can see your sleeping form.
>"Celestia! What are you doing?"
>You barely hear Luna scream.
>"I am waking you up NOW!"
>Her horn starts to glow.
>But not before you grab Anon and throw him at the portal.
"I love you, and always will."
>Just as he touches thed portal, you awaken with a start.
>You are in your room and Luna teleports in and is staring at you.
>"Do you know what you almost did?"
>You are about to answer when a groan comes from the side of you bed.
>It's Anon!
>"Ugh, you two okay? Where's that monster?"
>" What did you do?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>You fidget with your tie looking yourself over in the mirror of your bedchambers, with a dissatisfied frown.
>Be the son, nephew and sometimes Vaginal plug for Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna.
>While you would love to regale in such erotic tales of adoptive son incest, tonight isn't the night.
>You have to attend a dinner party, for the royal bores Cadance and Shining Armor, and their little teenage crotch spawn, Flurry Heart.
"This is ridiculous. I look like a total cuck."
>"Well I think you look handsome sunshine."
>Celestia entered your room without you knowing, and snuck up on you, wrapping you in her wing.
>She looks absolutely regal in her rose dress. The same she wore to the Gala last year in fact. It always fit around her in the right ways.
"You're my mom. You're supposed to say stuff like that."
>She kisses your cheek, with soft tender lips.
>"Come now hon. I'm saying this to you as a mother, and a mare."
"Hrrn."
>She presses her face to yours, and looks at your reflection with a sweet smile.
>"Now hurry up and get ready. Your cousins will be here any minute."
"Do I have to go to this thing? I don't really like hanging out with Candy since she became..."Domesticated"."
>She giggles.
>"Don't call it that sunshine. She just went and married the stallion of her dreams is all. Surely you can respect that."
>You shrug.
>She nuzzles you, and pulls away.
>"Now move your rump kiddo. We'll have guests to entertain soon."
>As she's about to leave you grab a handful of her tail.
>"Huh?"
"You didn't think I would just let you leave like this did you?"
>She blushes, and sheepishly laughs.
>"N-now isn't the time sweetie. W-we have to go meet your cou-cousins..."
"Is that so?"
>You close the distance, and slip a hand under her skirt from behind, feeling your fingers slip into something moist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3vyMssmy3w
>"Nn-hhaaa..."
>You wiggle them around inside of her nethers.
>"N-no! We can't sweetie...! I just got all cleaned up for this..."
>You slide your digits in and out of her a few times, before she pulls away from you, struggling to keep her wings folded.
>"Please Anon, not now~!"
>You flash a devilish smirk, and begin unzipping your-
>Before you can go any further, clad in their usual gold armor, a guardspony stands at the ready at your door.
>You scowl harshly at him.
>He salutes in return.
>"Forgive my intrusion your majesty, but the guests have arrived. They await you in the foyer."
>Celestia releases a loud breath you didn't know she was holding.
>"S-see? We don't have time. Now come along. Let's go say hi."
>The guard salutes again and quietly excuses himself, your mother following after.
>You're left with a raging erection, and tight, sperm killing pants.
"Eff. Emm. Ell."
>Well. You can't go out like this.
>Let's see.
"Dead Babies...Old Nuns...Vinyl Scratch cosplayed by Chris-cha-oops. there we go."
>Okay. Now you're ready.
>Taking the path to the foyer, you spot Cadance, and her family from the top of the stairs speaking with Mom and Aunt Luna.
>She spots you, and greets you with a big grin.
>"There he is. My little cousin!"
>You frown at the "little" part. You're much taller than her.
>She gallops towards you as you descend, and stands on her hind legs to hug you.
>"I haven't seen you in so long Anny!"
"You know I hate that name."
>"I know. It's why I said it~"
>You return the hug, with a firm squeeze getting a little whinny.
>"Hey there. Can a bro get some love too?"
>It's that faggot husband of hers, and Thotlight's thotty brother. Both equally thirsty for your dick, though Shining would never come out and say it.
>He used to always invite you to come read comics with him alone in his room, but Braeburned prepared you for that event before coming to Equestria.
>He makes the same pose as Cadance, forelegs outstretched.
>You keep hold of your pink pony cousin, and merely hoof/fist(yeah I bet he'd like a fist in him) bump him, getting a look of highly apparent disappointment.
>Thankfully, Luna breaks up this gay tense moment.
>"That accounts for two of you, but we believed there were supposed to be three. Where is young Flurry Heart?"
>Cadance breaks your hug, to look around the room.
>"She's not here? I swear she was behind me..."
>You're not exactly looking forward to meeting her, after all this time. It's been a while since you've seen her sure, but the amalgamation of Candy and Shining essentially equals Pinkie Pie, and who the fuck likes Pinkie Pie, except weird people and Seaponies?
>One of the Crystal Empire escorts salutes, approaching your group, and whispers something into Shining's ear.
>He sighs, and nods, getting another salute from the guard.
>He trots away, and out the castle.
>"We should j-just go ahead, and sit down. Flurry will be joining us soon."
>What was that all about?
>You lean in close to Momlestia.
"We should cancel this while we can, I have a bad feeling about thiiiis-"
>"Stop being negative Sunshine. It's all going as predicted."
>Predicted?
>It's a "momlestia knows something you don't" episode,huh?
"What do you mean, predic-"
>She shushes you with a feather, and smiles.
>"Just go with it."
>The princesses, and Guard captain leave you in the foyer, chatting amongst themselves, you wondering if this is going to be more interesting than you initially thought.
>The job after them to keep up all the way to the Dining room, where an intimate-sized table has been set up, as opposed to the usual spacious long table.
>You take a seat next to Lunaunt, still fumbling with your tie.
>Cadance slides in next to you, giving your shoulder a little affectionate bump.
>"So what's new cousin? You never visit me anymore!"
"B-been busy I guess."
>Your eyes trail off to Momlestia, who clears her throat nervously.
"What about you? Been dealing with any potential catastrophies? Flurry destroy the heart again?"
>They all laugh, because the possibility of everyone in her kingdom dying is A-OK to laugh about.
>"Nothing of that scale perhaps, but hopefully maybe tonight may fix that!"
"Fix what?"
>Cadance makes an uneasy forced smile.
>"O-oh, you'll see."
>On that note, two Crystal Guards enter the room.
>"Announcing her royal highness! The princess of the Crystal Empire, Flurry Hear-"
>He's shoved out of the way by a black fishnet clothed hoof.
>"Move out of my way conformist!"
>You can only tilt your head a few times in question at what you're seeing.
>Looking to Luna, you lean in towards her and whisper.
"Does Hot Topic exist in this world?"
>"Wh--Why are you asking me?"
"You know why."
>Luna balls up her mouth.
>In any case, this is assumed to be Flurry Heart. This black , and pink maned, fishnet wearing, dark clothes sporting, pierced ear monstrosity vampire kid.
>With an uncaring expression she slowly approached the table, while Sisters of Mercy plays in the Background.
>Cadance's uneasy smile is wider now, and you notice Shining matching her face.
>Celestia sips on a glass of water, with big eyes, while Luna looks unimpressed.
>Flurry heart takes a seat between her parents, and sighs.
>The silence is amazing at this point, with only a throat clearing from Shining to break it.
>"S-so glad you de-decided to join us dear. Say hi to your cousin."
>Flurry looks at you with dark lined eyes.
>"..."
>You cock an eye.
"..."
>"Conformist."
"Vampire kid."
>Luna nudges you.
>Flurry rolls her eyes.
>"Can I go home now? I don't want to "partake" in this superficial lie of an existence, you and the stableslut are attempting to indoctrinate me with. Gaaaah~"
>Holy shit. She even did the "Gaaaah" thing!
>Shining frowns.
>"Flurry-"
>"My true name is Scarred Heart, you mongloid."
>You cringe hard.
>Cadance looks to you with a pleading smile.
>"D-don't mind her. She's going through a phase! R-right?"
"Why are you asking me?"
>"You said you had things like this back on Earth?"
"Well yeah, but not someone in a place of importance in the current society."
>Cadance sighs.
>The table soon falls silent again. Why couldn't it be the Shoutingisfun version of Flurry?
>"S-so! Who's ready to eat? We have quite the spread today!"
>Momlestia nods to a nearby servant pony, who bows, and trots off to the backroom to bring the first course.
>She shortly comes back with a tray of bowls of soup on a serving cart.
>"That's it. Serve your special brainwashing koolaid Conformistia."
>You know how when Rarity speaks, a harpsichord plays?
>Well when Flurry talks, you hear ICP playing. Kill me now
>The table stares at the uncaring Flurry with concerned eyes.
>Not you though. You had no time for faggy emo kids, and you won't entertain Jessi Slaughter here in this world either.
>The servant lays the bowls out in front of each of you with-
>"I don't eat this dreck. Just give me Coffee. Black. As black as the pits of my soul."
>"N-now honey, you're too young to be drinking coffee. It's bad for you at your age..."
>Here it comes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxjs8BQORVI
>"WELL GEE MOM. SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOU! MAYBE I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF BEING FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET AS YOUR ABORTED MISTAKE?!"
>"H-honey-"
>"LET'S CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MARE, AND JUST STAB ME IN THE NECK SO YOU CAN FINALLY BE FREE OF YOUR PLAGUE OF REGRET, HUH? GOSH MOM! SORRY FOR NOT GIVING IN TO YOUR DECEIT AND LIES TO BECOME THE "PERFECT DAUGHTER"!"
>Cadance, and Shining Armor sit there, exchanging these confused looks.
>Luna nods as if understanding what's going on, and Momlestia, is quietly eating her soup.
>How can anyone bear to stay here during this...this..whatever this is?
>"S-so why don't you tell Anon about your little club sweetie?"
>Poor Cadance. She's turning various shades of pink.
>"It's not a "little club" Pasture whore. It's a gathering of free thinkers, and those not blinded by this phony logic of society."
>She looks at you.
>"A puppet like you wouldn't be interested."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"We often ponder why Nephew has attached such a lewd reputation to socks."
>'Your guess is as good as mine, Luna. I just happen to think they're comfortable as well as fashionable.'
>"Verily, Sister. These stockings are most comfortable and allow a wide range of motion for today's Princess-on-the-go."
>'Right? No idea why Anonymous always blushes or mutters 'L-lewd' when he see's us in them.'
>'Now, would you be so kind as to connect my teat piercings with the gold chain that bears his birthday?'
>"Ofcourse, then thou can tell us if our buttplug is in correctly."
>'Heh, what are sister's for if not these little things, right, Lulu?'
>"We thanketh thee, Sister."
>Having secured their 'wardrobe', the two make their way down to breakfast
>'..I man really, socks? Lewd? Perhaps he's read one too many of his Neighponese flipbooks again, silly boy.'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Wuh oh, spell goes awry and mom & auntie turn into cute loli's
>What son would love his mother and aunt less because of this? Not you that's for damn sure
>Determined to make the best of the situation you suggest a trip to the beach, because they're still your mom and aunt and ofcourse they'll behave
>"M-mom, put your swimsuit back on!"
>'Anonymous, my sweetheart, how are you to be thorough in applying sunscreen to me if I have that pesky thing on?'
>Auntie lies ontop of you in the shade of the umbrella
>Atleast one of them isn't giving you any probl- and now one of them is gently grinding against your crotch
>"..Auntie, no, not you, too."
=======================================================================================================================================
>What are you getting mom/auntie
>"It wont fit under the tree, mom, but I think you've got room for it somewhere else."
>'Oh my. Anonymous, my sunshine~ YOUR AUNT AND I LOVE THE TREADMILL!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>"M-miss? Can I get you to uh, maybe just scooch to your right a little?"
>'You're going to have to break out the panoramic lens for this shot, my man.'
>'My mom's just THAT photogenic.'
>She plants a gentle kiss atop your head from behind
>'This ones going in the living room, mom, so completely serious, k? No bunny ears, no funny faces, no boob ear muffs, alright?'
>[Disapproving scrunching]
>"I promise we'll get some novelty shots done later, mom."
>You go home from the mall later that day with a nice mother and son portrait
>And a wild west themed wanted poster photo that claimed a 10,000$ reward for the capture of Snakebite Anonymous & Sunny Cheeks
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom gets drunk in a too-small sexy Santa outfit and regales you of her wilder days in collage with Luna
>Wraps her arm around your shoulders and pulls you into one-sided hug that mashes the side of your face into her boobs
>Luna asks you to take your mother to bed, but Celestia is hugging you and refuses to let go
>Falls backwards onto her bed, still holding you tightly against her body
>Keeps nuzzling your hair and murmuring how much she loves you
>You fall asleep like this
=======================================================================================================================================
>Mom self conscious about her mom body
>"Mom, stop, you don't need to do some marine-tier exercise regimen everytime you have a twinkie."
>"..I think your tummy is cute, anyway."
>Raspberry your principal mom. She'll say no at first, but she really means yes
 
I like the idea of Celestia calling Anon to the principal's office so that she can get some comforting cuddles. This idea is made even better when the fact that Anon is Celestia's son isn't that well known, and most students think that Anon has some kind of hot and sexy relationship with the principal.
 
>hedonist mom vs horny son, who can keep it together and in their pants the longest
>this saturday on hell in a cell
 
>Meanwhile, aunt Luna tries to deal with the uncomfortable dampness in her panties while she tries to get actual work done
 
>"..I do so loathe the fact that our offices are so close to one another."
>['OOoooOh fffuck, Anonymous! Ah! Ah! Ah!!~] comes in muffled through the wall
>Auntie turns up NPR on her radio
 
>It's Christmas Eve
>Luna has to shove her head under the pillows to muffle the sounds of Celestia telling Anon that she's been a naughty girl this year
>"Just once. Just one single Christmas, I want to get through it without being kept away by the sounds of my nephew fucking his mother."
 
>"Atleast nothing can ruin the magic of christmas morning!"
>"Sister, Nephew! Rise! Up and at them! Tis the time for merriment and joy!"
>Both bedrooms are empty
>"Oh, those sly devils! They've undoubtedly beaten me to the aforementioned fun and must be busy having said fun!"
>Auntie literally flies down the stairs doing her best superhero landing at the bottom
>"Ha ha! Nephew, Sister! Do not begin the merry making without-...."
>The living room looks like christmas in downtown baghdad
>Fragments of gingerbread homes spatter the carpets, ribbons and bows are on limbs and body parts they should not be, and in the center of it all lie the two culprits
>Anonymous in a red thong with rudolph on the front and wearing a santa beard, and his mother sprawled out across his dozing figure
>She's wearing nothing but elf ears and the remnants of a whip cream top & bottom
>Aunt Luna shakes her head and snaps a polaroid for her special photo album
>She adds it to her 'Nephew x Sister: Holiday Gallery'
>It goes next to a picture of Anonymous and his mother passed out wearing opposing sports jerseys and another one of them nude wearing only sombrero's and sporting sharpie stache's
Auntie is going to get hers soon enough, right?
=======================================================================================================================================
I want to read about Cadence or Celestia or some relative of Anon sitting him down like it's an after-school special on TV and gently guiding him into a life of incest.
 
>"Anon... your aunt Luna and I are concerned about you."
"Wh-what do you mean, mom?"
>Celestia shuffles in her seat uncomfortably, but aunt Luna rests a hand on her thigh and rubs it.
>Your mom and your aunt share a look and Celestia looks back at you.
>"I've noticed that my panties aren't disappearing quite as often as they used to. And when I find them, I hardly ever find semen stains on them."
>Luna pipes up next, taking a deep drag from her mug of (Irish) coffee.
>"Your mother is right, Anon. Just last week, I walked in front of you wearing nothing but a loose housecoat and a pair of panties, and you only tried to sneak a peek at me twice."
>She sighs and rubs her forehead, looking upset.
>"I even undid the cloth belt and made sure that one of my nipples were visible, and you didn't even excuse yourself to go back to your room and masturbate."
>She sniffles and puts her mug onto a nearby coffee table.
>"What happened to the little boy who would try to play with my breasts whenever his mother was out? Wh-where did we go wrong, Anon?"
>Celestia wraps an arm around your aunt and pulls her into a one-armed hug.
>"Hey, shh..." coos your mom, "This is nobody's fault. What matters is that we caught this before it became a bigger issue."
>Your mom looks at you with her big, pretty, tear-filled eyes.
>"Anon, we're worried about you. I know that being a teenager is hard and growing up is difficult, but you don't have to do it alone."
>Celestia reaches out, still hugging your aunt, and takes your hand in her's.
>"From now on you're sleeping in our bed, okay? And if you ever need to masturbate, you come find one of us, alright?"
>She sniffles and strokes the back of your hand with her thumb.
>"W-We love you, Anon. We'll get through this together."
>You flick to the next image on your computer.
>It's a picture of your mom, topless, holding her generous bust and giving the camera a smoldering look.
"F-Fuck."
>You grip your shaft tighter and give it a few more pumps.
>Sure, you had always tried to get a good look at what your hot mom and aunt looked like naked, but you never thought they'd give you photos of themselves.
>With a shaking hand, you flick to the next image.
>This time, it's your aunt Luna.
>She's on her and your moms' bed, laying on her back with her legs propped up, showing off per pussy to the camera.
>The light in their bedroom (well, YOUR bedroom now too, you guess) catches the juices leaking from your aunt's needy cunt.
>You let out a small whimper and speed up your masturbation.
"Aunt Luna..."
>You reach out again to flick to the next image, but you're interrupted by a knock on the door.
>"Knock knock! I'm coming in, Anon!"
>With a click, your bedroom door opens wide, and you spin your chair around to see who's coming in.
>Celestia bumps the door open with her bum and walks in with her back to you, carrying a small basket in both of her hands.
>"Good morning, Sunbeam! Here, I've got a couple of pairs of my panties for you to masturbate with."
>She turns around with a smile on her face.
>"I thought you might want to use'em before I wash-"
>The smile freezes on her face as she takes in the scene.
>You, sitting at your computer, with a naughty picture of your aunt on the screen, and your cock in your hand.
>Celestia puts down the basket and covers her mouth with both of her shaking hands.
>She strides towards you, tears in eye, and pulls you into a hug.
>Predictably, your face is mashed into her tits.
>"Oh, Anon," she coos, sniffling, "I c-can't tell you how happy this m-makes me to see you like this."
>Still sniffling, she reaches for your cock and gives it a couple of pumps.
>"I can't wait to tell your aunt! Oh, she'll be over the moon when she hears about this."
 
>It's a reverse of 1990's after school specials
>Instead of losing his interest in sports and spending his time looking at porn on the computer, Anon becomes more physically active and pays less attention to his mom and his aunt
>Celestia lays down rules, like being home before 10pm (so that they have time for sex before bed) and restricting internet access (so that she and Luna can provide an outlet for Anon's sexual frustrations)
 
If it were me, I'd TAKE an interest in sports and being physically active.
She loves that you're her son, but wouldn't you rather be her man?
>Teachers lounge gossip
>"I swear it was her and some rugged looking younger guy."
>"Really, OUR C? She comes off as so 'by the book'..you really think she'd do that?"
>"They looked like such a cute couple, too. None of that grabass 'gimme some fuk' the kids here practice."
>Enter Principal Mom
>'Afternoon, girls.'
>"H-hey, C! ..Do anything interesting this weekend?"
>'Oh nothing noteworthy, my son and I caught a movie, that was about it.'
>Their faces when
=======================================================================================================================================
>You want to see how you look today, and mom has that big full body mirror in her room so you go there.
>Plus her room is closer than the bathroom.
>Walk in and see mom trying to change out of her pajamas.
>The whole family was pretty open about nudity but you still get flustered from time to time so you apologize and leave.
>You getting the way you did caused her to blush, kinda like how she did when she walked into the bathroom on you after your shower.
>Meanwhile Aunt Luna is playing a video game in just her panties and a shirt.
 
>>Aunt Luna is playing videogames in just her panties and a shirt.
I'll take this.
 
>Be Anon.
>Today was horrible.
>You were supposed to ride home with mom and go watch a movie.
>But the Sunset friendship pack had different plans.
>Supposedly they thought the Dazzling sisters were some evil sirens that wanted to take over the world.
>So mom has to give them the drug talk and how it can fuck up your life which is probably going to take a few hours.
>Drugies are hardheaded.
>So no movie -and- you had to walk home.
>But wait! There's more!
>Apparently walking five miles home wasn't enough! So we'll throw in hard rainfall to really piss you off!
>At least you're finally home.
>”Tia?” Luna calls from her room.
“It's just me Luna.”
>You call back while taking off your soaked clothes and throwing them in the laundry room leaving you in your underwear.
>”Where's your mother? We thought you two were gonna see a movie.”
“We were, but she had to deal with a couple students and their bad drug trip.”
>You walk into Luna's room to see her in nothing but a shirt and underwear on her bed playing some game were you tame dinosaurs.
>”Really nephew? Have you no couth?” She says after a quick glance.
“No. Neither do you. Now scooch.”
>She scooches over a bit giving you room to sit down.
>So you do.
>Then lay your head down on her legs.
>She gives you a brief glance before petting your head a bit.
>”One of those days?”
>She's learned not to fight it.
>Good.
>You simply groan in response.
>”Do we need to call Cadence or Shining?”
>You mumble a “no".
>”Just gonna lay on our legs till Celestia get's home.”
“That's the plan.”
>Luna snorts in amusement.
>”You know if we ever get a man you can't be doing this?”
>You glare at her.
“You're not allowed.”
>Sparing a glance from her game she looks at you.
>”Not allowed huh?”
“Yep. Not allowed.”
>”And why pray tell are we ‘Not allowed’?”
>You hug onto her waist.
“Cause, I'm all the man you need.”
>”Lewd.” She mumbles.
“Damn right.”
>You let go of your aunt's waist and turn back around to watch her play her game.
>The graphics suck and you can see dinosaurs rendering in.
>Not to mention the FPS sucking ass.
>You continue to watch her play like this for a bit until mom gets home.
>”I'm home!” She calls.
>Luna kicks her legs a bit.
>”Alright, time to get up.” She says nudging you.
“Nah.”
>You look towards the door and see mom looking at the two with a amused smirk.
>”So, how've you two been?” She says walking to the opposite side of Luna's bed.
>”We'll we were fine until your son decided to come home and molest us.”
>Celestia snorts.
>”Good.” Celestia says laying on Luna's legs as well. “You needed a good molesting.”
>Luna groans dramatically flinging herself back to lay on her bed.
>”You're the reason he's like this!” She yells.
>”You like it!” Both Celestia and you yell back as you both crawl up and lay in a tit.
>Luna groans even louder as she surrenders to your mother and your demands.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"So I force-choked him to death for making a 'That's no moon...' joke about you."
>'Nephew, we admire your dedication and protectiveness but not so much at the cost of the staff here.'
>"Any dissent should be quelled by the display, as it was witnessed by many."
>"It worked on our cruiser; one force choke on the bridge and poof! They stopped referring to my master as Emperor Pounds-of-cake."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"I can't beleive *sniff* my little baby's gone *sniff*"
>"Celestia he's just going to Colt Scout Camp for the week." Luna chided
>"What's my baby gonna do without me? What if he has a nightmare and needs to cuddle?"
>"Celestia-"
>"What if he falls off a cliff and has his leg trapped under a rock and can't get help? What if he DIES???"
>"Celestia, I swear to god if you try to go and-"
>"MAMA'S COMING ANON!" she yelled, rushing out the tavern doors
>Luna just shook her head
>Hopefully she would pass out from the booze
>For Anon's sake
 
>"Mom, you're drunk and your scaring the other campers."
>'D-DON'T BE DRUNK, SILLY, I-I'M NOT ANONYMOUS!'
=======================================================================================================================================
>Ywn go downstairs on christmas morning to see mommy Celestia waiting with hot coco and auntie Lulu handing out presents.
 
>Celestia and Luna have bows tied around various parts of their bodies
>The ribbons are holding the loose pieces of cloth in place; if Anon undid one, then that body part would be exposed
>The more of a good boy he was that year, the more "presents" he's allowed to unwrap and play with
 
>yfw you weren't exactly a good boy that year
>yfw you get an elbow and a foot instead of unwrapping your whole mom or aunt
 
>Your mom and aunt Luna giggle at your disappointed look.
>"Aw, sunbeam," coos Celestia, "Don't look so glum."
>Luna sidles up beside her sister and wraps an arm across a bare, unwrapped shoulder.
>>"That's right, sweetest. Don't you want to see your mom and your aunt unwrap THEIR presents?"
>You perk up, intensely aware that there are no actual presents under the tree this year what with the stunt your mom and aunt are pulling right now.
>Celestia giggles and turns so that she can cup your aunt's cheek with her hand.
>"Mmmmm... what did YOU asks Santa for this year, Lulu?"
>Your aunt starts to play with the bow holding the fabric on your mom's chest in place.
>"I think I asked him for some milk to make my coffee extra creamy."
>Your aunt winks at you and motions with a single curling forefinger to joi her.
>"But only good girls get presents at Christmas, and I wouldn't be a very good girl if I were selfish. How about you give he a hand unwrapping my present, nephew?"
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon is zip-zapped into Equestria as a 10-year-old-ish kid through vaguely-established means
>Celestia and Luna look absolutely thrilled when they find him, and they gladly raise him from that point onward, acting as though they're already family
>As time goes by and Anon grows older, they become more and more sad
>It's like they think he's leaving
>When Anon is about 30 years old, a magical disturbance throws him back in time without warning
>After stumbling around in the past for a few months and situating himself (house, job, etc), he finds two filly sister on his doorstep in a box
>A white-ish one with a pink mane, and a dark blue one with a lighter blue mane
>Clearly abandoned, he raises them and names them after his mother and his aunt, who he still misses every day
>Cue shenanigans
=======================================================================================================================================
>"S-Sweetie, this is... very nice."
>Your mom shifts uncomfortably as she observes your new custom-made beanbag chair.
>It's more like two beanbag chairs stitched together, but it's like that for a reason.
>The outside is dyed white, and Celestia's cutie mark has been sewn onto the outsides of each beanbag.
>You sit right in the center, right in the crease, and give each cutie mark a good, firm rubbing.
>Meanwhile, mom shuffles her hooves and looks uncomfortable.
>She should see the one you modeled after your aunt Luna's teats.
=======================================================================================================================================
"Mom, I love you very much, and I appreciate you trying to distract the other team, but this isn't a football game, it's a chess match and you look ridiculous..."
>Your opponent reaches over the table
>"Nah, buddy, it's cool. She's fine."
>He leers at your mother while licking his lips
>"In fact, she's very... v e r y... fine."
 
>Never before your school's history has a member of the chess team ever been disqualified for jamming his king and queen pieces up his opponent's nose
=======================================================================================================================================
>"All I ask, citizenry of Canterlot..is that you be patient with me."
>['You're doing just great, sweetheart, keep it up.']
>"I am still learning my place among royalty, but in time I hope to be comparable to my mother and aunt as a ruler."
>['Mmmm, I can think of something comparable to a footlong~']
>"*Ahem* In closing, all I have to offer is my word, and my promised efforts to ensure our quality of life continues for all our days to come."
>['Anonymous, baby, you were great, and the part about 'all our days to come' rings truer than you know.']
>"Thanks, mom. Gonna take some publicity shots here and there, then I'll meet you in the carriage to go to town on your ass like there's no tomorrow and shit this mic is still on isn't it?"
 
I needed those sides, Anon.
>Celestia does blatantly sexual things with her son
>Anon must try to explain her actions away and try to fool everyone into thinking she's just being maternal and affectionate
 
>"I wish to state once again, the phrase 'going to town on your ass' has a deep and significant... significance to humans. There are many parallels between this world and my own, and one might hear such a collection of words and believe that they have meaning of a sexual and, in this case, ambiguously-incestuous nature. Those people are idiots. It's a human phrase that means.... to appreciate the beauty of very simple things."
>['Carnally.']
>"Mom? They can hear you, you know."
>['I know.']
 
>"T-think nothing of the scene before you, my subjects..haaa~"
>"Merely AH~..M-merely a mother-son bonding exercise..hhnngg ohyes.."
>Anonymous massages her hooves and brushes her coat
=======================================================================================================================================
Stlat
 
“Hey, mom?”
>She doesn’t take her muzzle out from your neck, nor does she relent on her constricting hug
>She does, however, giggle like a schoolgirl when she hears her favorite word
>’Mom’
>”Mmmhmm?”
>The vibrations and hot breath gives you goosebumps
“You do realize that I’m an adult now, yes?”
>No response besides an almost imperceptible tightening of the hug
“So maybe, just maybe, you could let me sleep alone?”
>Her horn lights up a shade of yellow that’s close to your heart
>A series of treats materialize before you, each suspended in midair by the yellow aura
>”Aww, whazza’ matter, my wittle Anon want his dessert?”
“Mom, please—”
>”You always were cranky when you didn’t get your sweets, just like mom!”
“Mom!”
>Her giggle turns into a full-blown laugh before she cuddles your neck anew
>”Like that time you didn’t talk to me for a week when you only got two cookies.”
>Celestia takes her time to slowly twirl the myriad of overly-decadent treats and desserts before you
>”Well, let’s see here…”
>You can feel the sheer joy radiating from her as she holds you tight
>”Chocolate mousse, devil’s cake, triple-fudge cake.”
>She takes her hooves off of you for a moment to clap her hooves together in joy as another giggle escapes her
>”Cakes, my little Nonny, and a warm bed after another long day?”
>She gives a sigh of pure joy before a slice of cake materializes before her mouth
>You blink and the cake’s gone from view, your mother’s cheeks now comparable to that of a squirrel’s
>A small chuckle escapes your lips before you shake your head
>Leaning back into your mother’s embrace, you give your own content sigh
“Love you too, mom.”
>A kiss is planted on your forehead
>Said forehead wrinkles as you can feel the crumbs and frosting left over from Celestia’s lips, but you only chuckle at that
>”Love you more than anything, Nonny.”
>And, for a while, you two bask in each other’s warmth and company
>Well, you take comfort in only those two, but you can still feel and hear your mother gorging herself on more cake all the while
>”Nonny, dear?”
>You sprawl out a little more on the king sized bed, of which was easily worth a decent sized house
>And, by God, did it feel like it
“Mmmhmm?”
>There’s a small giggle again followed by another nuzzle to the neck
>”What do you want for Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
>You blink at that, taking a moment to wonder
>Naturally your first thought is ‘pussy’, but you keep that to yourself
>Giving a small hum, you try and manifest your desires into some material object
>You know mother’s wealth knows no bounds, but, honestly, all you want after being gone from home for so long is just…
“How about a little time with the family?”
>You eyes close as you give a click of the tongue
“You know, finally introduce me to Auntie Luna and get Candy back here for a little get together?”
>There’s a small ‘Poof!’ behind your head before mom’s teleported in front of the fireplace
>Her eyes are wide with joy as she begins to skip in place
>”Oh, Nonny, oh!”
>Her horn lights up that shade of yellow again
>”You and Luna are just going to love each other!”
>And, just like that, she’s gone with another ‘Poof!’
>Blinking slowly, you rest onto mother’s gigantic pillows before giving out an exhausted sigh
>You love your mom more than anything else, but God damn…
>You haven’t slept in two days, and you doubt she’s going to care
>Not with so much catching up to do
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Anonymous!"
>Your mom holds out a picture of herself.
>It's a candid photo, taken while she was changing.
>Her breasts are out and you can just make out the little pink wisp of trimmed pubic hair that disappears behind your mother's raised leg, blocking your view of her pussy.
>To your shame, it's one of your favourite photos of your mom.
>Celestia quirks an eyebrow at you, looking decidedly unimpressed.
>"This yours?"
>You fidget and squirm, wondering how you'll be able to get yourself out of this one.
"N-No..."
>Celestia's expression says it all: "That's bullshit lies, son."
>"Because I found it in your closet while I was cleaning up."
>You sputter, trying to buy time while your mind races and tries to come up with an excuse.
"I don't know, one of the guys must have left-"
>Your mom's eyebrows have disappeared into her hairline.
>Dammit, why did you think that was a good lie?
>"Left of that?"
>You panic and go into full-on denial mode.
"But mom, it's not mine! I would never take a photo of you like that!"
>She tosses it onto the bed and crosses her arms.
>"Oh really?"
>Her tone, much like her expression, betrays the way she sees through your flimsy lies.
>"Then where did you get it?"
"Mom!"
>Celestia points an accusing finger at you.
>"Answer me! Who taught you that this behaviour was okay?!"
"You, alright!"
>Your mom reels back in shock.
"I learned it by watching you and aunt Luna!"
>Dead silence stretches on for a solid 10 seconds as you and your mom look at each other.
>Why did you ever think that it was okay to take these sorts of pictures?
>Just because your mom and aunt Luna sometimes fool around, doesn't mean it's okay for you to... hng...
>You feel angry and scared and you don't know how you're ever going to be able to look your mom in the eye ever agai-
>"Good."
>Your mom turns around and cups a hand to her mouth.
>"Hey, Lulu!" she shouts through the open door.
>You hear a distant, "WHAT?!"
>"I'm in Anon's room! Get in here, and ditch the pants!"
>A grin spreads across your mom's face and she starts to fiddle with the top button of her shirt.
>"I knew you'd pick it up sooner or later, sunbeam. After all..."
>She tugs her top off and throws it at you, where it lands on your face.
>By the time you remove it from your head, your mom is already finishing up removing her bra.
>"...Parents who practice incest have children who practice incest."
=======================================================================================================================================
>You will never snuggle up with aunt Luna as she wraps her body around yours
>You will never, just before you fall asleep, experience the sensation of Celestia tip-hoofing her way over and wrapping herself around the two of you
>You will never slumber in a warm bundle of maternal, unconditional love
=======================================================================================================================================
>Anon is a regular student at Canterlot High
>Celestia is the principal and has no relation to Anon whatsoever
>However, much like some of the other themes of the thread ("when I look at you, all I see is a foal in need of a mother"), Celestia becomes enamored with Anon the first time she calls him into her office to discuss something
>There's just something about Anon that triggers a reaction in her
>Something that makes her want to hug him and plant a kiss on the top of his head
>To hold him tight and reassure him that everything is going to be okay
>Maybe things aren't going so well for Anon at home
>Maybe his family has always been distant and Anon feels starved for maternal attention
>And Anon, for the most part, is receptive
>Confused, but overall happy to receive that sort of attention from Celestia
>But things are not all that they seem
>Deeper down inside of Celestia is another, less innocent yearning
>There's a part of her that wants to find out if her "baby boy" has the hots for his "mother"
>Lingering hugs last just a little bit too long
>Hands stray from the small of his back to his buttocks
>That familiar kiss on the cheek "accidentally" misses its mark and lands on his lips instead
>Maybe Celestia even becomes more insistent that Anon refers to her as "mommy"
>The question is, how far will this go before Luna notices and decides to take action?
=======================================================================================================================================
Even Daybreaker mom & Auntie Moon are no exceptions
>"Luna, look, m-my darling boy, all ready for his first day of slaying the multitudes."
>'Indeed, Sister, our nephew is handsome as he is fear inspiring.'
>"Oh my word he's blushing!"
>You quickly slam your visor down
>'Nephew, please, raise thy visor, you have something on you cheek.'
>Auntie magic's into her saddlebags and takes out a tissue, licking it and applying it to your face
>'Mwah~..twas us.'
>"Leave it up, mister, you aren't about to embark upon cleansing filth from our kingdom until mommy gets her sugar, too."
=======================================================================================================================================
>"A-Auntie, it's 3 in the morning.."
>'Expel it from yon posterior, Nephew. Tis the hour of chewing bubblegum and appropriating the bruising of bottoms.'
 
>"And yea verily, I proclaim that mine reserves of bubblegum hath been emptied."
 
>Aunt Luna will never make you watch her play Duke Nukem 3D when you were a kid
>She will never spend the next 13 years getting excited for Duke Nukem Forever
>She will never get you hyped up for the game's release
>She will never go to the midnight release and promise to either share the game with your or let you watch her play in the morning, once she's beaten it a few times and discovers all the secrets
>You will never be woken up at about 2 AM to a shriek of outrage
>"THIRTEEN YEARS!"
=======================================================================================================================================
 mommy & me by anon, age 32.jpg
 
>"LUNA! DO YOU SEE IT?!"
>'VERILY, SISTER. COME, LET US CLEAR A SPACE FOR IT IN THE HALL.'
>"BAH!" Mom says, batting aside a Hoofri Matisse' painting
>"AWAY FROM ME, PEASANT SCRIBBLES, BE GONE SO TRUE ART MAY SHINE."
>They tack up Anon's drawing
>'..It truly is a masterpiece, Sister.'
>"My darling boy...he really captured my mane quite nicely, and the detail on the mountain is indescribable in the best way."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Six year old Anon interrupts a noble banquet trying to find Cellymom.
"Mommy, mommy!"
>All the noble ponies look at him like a
diseased rodent.
>Anon being naive child didn't notice this.
"Excuse me, do you know where mommy is?"
>A noble mare asks in the background "It can talk?"
>Another one says "Should we get the guard?"
>"No, let's get animal control instead."
>Noble laughs fill the room.
"Um did you hear me? I asked where mommy is."
>Stifiling a laugh one of the noble stallions asks.
>"What does your mommy look like?"
"She has flowing hair, white fur and a crown."
>Another wave of noble laughter.
>"Are you implying Princess Celestia is your mother?"
"Yes! See I made this" >>31495081
>"You should work better on lying."
>He takes the drawing using his magic.
"Hey! Give it back."
>"There is no way in tartarus that Celestia of all ponies would take YOU a filthy ape to be your son. You'll be lucky to be my pet."
>He rips the drawing in half with a blue aura.
>Anon starts crying and starts pointing at the mean pony for some reason.
>The stallion expected laughter and praise for putting a beast in his place, instead he got silence.
>He turns around and sees this.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Mommy & Auntie were quite the lookers back then, weren't we?"
>'...Y-you still are.'
 
>Your mother blushes and giggles.
>"Oh, Nonny," coos your mother, gently stroking your cheek, "You flatterer, you."
>She leans in and pecks you on the cheek.
>"I'll bet you say that to all the pretty ladies you meet."
>Aunt Luna saunters up and gently pushes her sister aside.
>>"Do you know what they say about flattery and where it will get you?"
>She grins and cups both of your cheeks.
"Y-Yeah. Nowhere, right?"
>Aunt Luna chuckles and leans forward to kiss your cheek.
>You try to turn your head to present your cheek to your aunt, but her hands hold your face still.
>Your eyes widen when you feel aunt Luna's soft lips press up against yours.
>You hear your mom gasp somewhere off to the side.
>You're so shocked that you don't even react when she playfully brushes her tongue against your lips.
>Your aunt pulls away with a giggle.
>>"Quite the opposite, dear nephew. At least in this household, flattery will get you EVERYWHERE."
=======================================================================================================================================
>adopting anon as an adult
>ywn have go-to-work-with-mommy days with her as she carries you around in an adult sized papoose strapped to her frontside
>ywn interrupt daycourt talking in your sleep
>"-..in mind, the council should take into consideration-"
>'ZZz..no tag-backs..ZZngzzt..'
>"-*mwah* Yes, my sunshine, mommy knows. *ahem* As I was saying.."
 
"Celestia, please, I'm a grow-"
>"It's rude to call your parents by their first names, Anon."
"I'm a gr-"
>"Now why don't you give mommy a kiss and slip into your papoo-"
"I'm a grown man, dammit!"
>Celestia sighs and lifts you up in her magic, setting you down into the man-carrier she has strapped around her neck.
>Thanks to the size difference, your toes aren't at risk of dragging against the carpet.
>"I raised you better than that, young stallion."
"You didn't raise me at all!"
>Celestia, your legal mother (who's going to say "no" when the sun-goddess of the country decides she wants to adopt a fully grown alien as her son?), nuzzles the top of your head lovingly.
>"Some days it feels like it, sunbeam. But mommy forgives you, alright? I don't know what's gotten you to start acting out like this, but don't forget that you can come talk to me about anything."
>You look to the side, where Luna is standing, hoof against her mouth and shoulders shaking with mirth.
"Luna, please."
>Tears stream down Luna's cheeks as she struggles not to laugh in your face.
>"D-Doth thou mean, 'auntie Lulu'?"
"Luna."
>A snicker breaks through.
"Luna, no."
>A giggle bursts from her lips as she starts to hiccup.
"Please, not during my darkest hour. Not when I need you the most."
>The dam bursts, and Luna screeches out with laughter.
>She's laughing so hard that it doesn't even sound like laughter; she's just making screaming and chirping noises as her body struggles to keep up with the amount of mirth it's dealing with.
>From directly above you, you hear Celestia tut in disapproval.
>"Now now, Luna, it's rude to laugh. If you truly do find this so amusing..."
>Your vision is filled with a gold aura.
>When the figurative dust settles, you find a smaller Luna (complete with a shorter, less ethereal mane and tail) hanging right next to you in a papoose of her own.
>"I believe a day of following my son and I around will help, sister."
>Suddenly, this day doesn't seem so bad.
=======================================================================================================================================
>Ywn live till 90 when your body starts shutting down.
>Swn continue to smile and talk lovingly the whole time.
>Swn let you know how proud you made her and she never stopped loving you.
>Ywn hold her hoof as you take your final breath.
>Swn still be there smiling gently letting you know it's okay.
>Swn hug your colding body one last time before leaving and letting the doctors take you to the morgue.
>Swn be there for greaving friends and loved ones.
>They will never ask her how she's doing.
>Swn reply fine as it's only a part of life.
>Swn be entering her room for bed after the funeral.
>Swn cast a sound muffling spell on her room.
>Swn collapse to the floor after the door closes crying.
>Swn scream in agony for her baby.
>Swn hate how she had to repress all her emotions during the funeral.
>Swn be tormented with the knowledge that she had to watch her child be buried.
The curse of immortality.
=======================================================================================================================================
Stlat
 
>It’s really quite funny, now that you think about it
>You’ve trained for this moment for countless hours, your body already showing a great many scars from rough sparring sessions and beatings from the sergeant
>”Three…”
>You’ve muttered countless prayers in preparation
>”Two…”
>You’ve written her all those letters through basic and your time here
>”One…!”
>You just hope they reached her
>The harsh, grating sound of the lieutenant colonel's whistle brings forth a cry of a several hundred young riflemen now rising from the trenches
>The roar lasts only a moment before it’s overpowered by deafening roars of shells bursting overhead and rounds slamming into the ground
>Several riflemen to each side of you fall to the ground
>You don’t have time to see if you knew them or not; you’re already sprinting after the lieutenant colonel
>Wait, no, you’re not even sure if that’s him
>The smoke, dust, and dirt kicked up from the shelling has made seeing farther than ten feet a near impossibility
>Keeping your head low, you follow in his wake
>Your eyes wander to the sides as you do, however
>You’re greeted with a sight that’s forever branded into your mind
>Mangled corpses as far as the eye can see
>A rifleman’s head expanding as a round tears through his skull, spraying the man behind him with skull and bits of flesh
>The dying and wounded getting trampled underfoot by the following ranks
>It’s now when you realize that the shelling has left your ears ringing
>Can’t even hear your own scream as you turn back to the lieutenant colonel.
>You almost lose him through the thick smoke and falling of shells sending the earth rising up
>The shells are landing practically right on top of you, the very earth itself quivering under the sheer force
>You blink
>That’s all it takes for the father of two to disappear in a red mist as a shell lands at his feet
>Your feet come to a temporary halt, but a shove from the person behind you kicks in your training
>With dust and tears obscuring your vision, you can just make out the distant outline of the church
>That church
>That fucking church
>That’s what Lieutenant Colonel Protesilaus spent all morning briefing the battalion about
>Take it at all costs
>All you can see below it is a myriad muzzle flashes from well over a hundred rifles and machineguns
>It’s then when you notice something
>No longer are you passing by the dead
>No longer are you forced to ignore the pleading wounded, some of them familiar
>No, none of that
>It’s the land
>It’s just shell craters and mud from here on up until the small hill that the church lies on
>Hill 83
>And, just as the dust settles from the shelling as you move to clearer ground, you dive in the nearest crater as Protesilaus’ last words echo in your brain
>’Soon as you break the five hundred yard mark, I want every goddamn smoke grenade you lot got shoved down their fucking throats!’
>You let the mass of metal and water on your back smack into the ground as your hands begin to violently tremble
>You reach down to your belt
>You feel for any smoke grenades, knowing full well that only lieutenant first classes were assigned them this morning, but you continue out of desperation
>The suppressing fire from machine guns to the lip of the crater, along with the mangled body that falls a foot away, add more reason for you to curse out at the lack of smoke being thrown
>You look around, both among the dead and the living, for anyone of rank that’d have—
“Ray!”
>You crawl over as fast as you can, screaming as loud as your lungs are able, before getting close to his side
>He doesn’t hear you, though, so you give his shoulder a tight squeeze and shake
>He doesn’t respond initially, so you shake him all the harder
“Ray! Ray, the fuck, ma—”
>You shake him a bit too hard and, from the shaking, you see his face
>He’s missing half his jaw
>He’s…
>Oh God
>The vomit rises without warning
>Soon your violent retching turns into sobs accompanied with unintelligible mumbles
>Among your sobbing, you’re unable to do move any from your filth as you begin to curl into a ball
>Trembling violently all over, you choke on your tears and snot as you see men torn into hamburger and red mist before you, each one scrambling for cover
>Amidst all the carnage, though, you notice something
>The ringing is slowly starting to subside
>And in its place rises a voice
>Your voice
“Mom, mom, mom!”
>...
>......
>You awaken from the stupor, your eyes snapping onto the aged brigadier general
>He must’ve said something
>Groaning inwardly, you offer him the best smile you can and give a small nod
“My apologies, Damascus, I was a million miles away.”
>He returns the nod, his towering rack of ribbons swaying ever so slightly under its own weight as he does so
>”No worries, ma’am, I was just asking if you’re feeling quite alright.”
>Your smile strains just a bit under the notion, but you brush off the small pang of worry
>You’re not showing your stress, are you?
>No, you can’t
>For their sake
>For his sake
“I’m quite fine, was just… distracted.”
>His eyes glance down at the mug which lay on the table of sprawled out maps and troop records
>It’s a simple coffee mug, straight black with white text across the front
>’#1 MOM’
>You can’t help but smile wistfully at the object
>You lift it up to your face, looking into the letters like the eyes of an old friend that’s come back from a long journey
>A rueful chuckle leaves your throat
“He used to give me a new mug on every birthday, along with a number of handmade gifts.”
>Damascus, not one to usually break military bearing, offers a small smile at that
>”Heh, lucky, my girl doesn’t even know when my birthday is!”
>You share a chuckle at that
>It’s hollow for you, but it seems that that was Damascus’ first real laugh in a long while
>”Well, if nothing else,” he says while gesturing towards the large map that lay underneath all the papers, “he’ll be back for Nightmare Night at the current rate.”
>You give him another nod before taking a slow sip from the mug, your eyes never leaving the thing
>You’ve been arguing over that forsaken map of Southern Alakar for well over ten hours at this point
>The only reason you’re not arguing currently is because all the others are at dinner
>Well, save for Damascus
>Taking another sip, you glance down at one of the smaller, finer maps
>Your eyes lock onto the familiar unit as your breath hitch
>’52nd Infantry Division’
>The page is slowly flipped to the side to reveal the tactical map of the operation currently taking place
>’Current objective,’ reads a note at the top, ‘crush the remnants of the enemy division, the 1st Royal Armored Division, in a pincer attack with the 57th Infantry Division’
>You can sense that Damascus has gone back to scouring the papers for some additional insight or a possible opportunity, and so you sigh quietly
>You bow your head silently while offering a small prayer
“Please… come home.”
=======================================================================================================================================
>When your mom and aunt are worried that you aren't having incestuous sex with them
 
>You are Anon, and the school day is nearly over.
>Just one more class, and then you get your spare: the spare which, conveniently, takes up your very last class slot.
>That means you get to go home a whole hour early.
>Some people might say you picked your courses for this year so that you would get a free period at the end of the day.
>Some people would be absolutely right.
>You had to sacrifice pre-cal and pre-chem to get that slot open, but it isn't like that decision is going to come back to bite you later on in life, right?
>Your post-secondary education life?
>Nah.
>Standing in front of your locker, you enter the combination in your lock and swing the big damn thing open.
>Inside are your books, a jacket, some snacks, and...
>Oh, geez.
>...a picture of your mom and aunt, wearing lingerie, with two kiss marks on the photograph.
>Looks like your mom's been in your locker again.
>Before anybody can see the photo and ask you uncomfortable questions (most notably: "why do you have sexy pictures of your mom and aunt in your locker?"), you slam the door shut.
>Maybe you can skip your last class and just go home.
>You're pretty tight with the principal (what with you being her son), so you might be able to pull it off.
>As the locker door finally slams shut, you're met with the generous bust of a mysterious stranger.
>You jump slightly at this person's sudden appearance and gaze up at them.
>They're leaning against the locker right next to yours, hiding behind the open door.
>...
>Fuck.
"Hi, mom."
>"Sup."
>You cringe internally and externally at your mom's casual usage of "cool" teenage vernacular.
>...from 10 years ago.
>It's the thing every embarrassing parent does when they want to try and appeal or connect to the current generation, but it's something that Celestia hasn't tried until just now.
>You give your mom a once-over.
>She's wearing tight jeans, what appears to be a black tanktop with a band logo on it, some kind of varsity jacket over top of it, a backwards baseball cap, and a pair of sunglasses perched over the tip of her nose.
"Mom."
>It hurts to look at her.
"Mom, why?"
>Your mom leans back and stretches her arms, making her tanktop stretch across her chest.
>The indentations of her nipples alerts you to the fact that she isn't wearing a bra.
>"I dunno who this 'mom' chick is, bruh," says your mom in a horrible California accent, "My name is Solaris, and I'm new to this school."
>She pushes her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose for the sole purpose of being able to then drag them down and peer at you over the top edges of the frame.
>"You look like a pretty chill dude. Y'think you could gimme a tour of this 'ool?"
"...a tour of this what?"
>The fuck is an 'ool'?
>Celestia lets out a long, drawn-out scoff and perches her hands on her hips.
>"This 'ool, my dude! Like, where all the lame-o teachers go to work!"
>Oh, god.
>Oh, you can't do this.
>You can feel your face heat up with second-hand embarrassment, even though there's nobody else in the hallways to see the two of yo-
>>"What's up, my radical homefries!"
>Your aunt, dressed up in different (yet just as cringey) 1980's young man's fashion walks up and slaps her hands onto your shoulders.
>She's got an oversize beanie on her head, a studded leather jacket, and a shirt that says "2 kool 4 skool" on the front.
>Her jeans are faded and ripped, and they're baggier than anything you've seen outside of an old music video for a band from the 1990's.
>For a solid five seconds, you just stare at your aunt.
>Your 35-year-old aunt, dressed like she was straight out of Boy Meets World.
>Despair overwhelms you, and you put your face in your hands and moan
>Why today?
>Why EVER?
>Your aunt slaps you on the chest and tilts her head over to Celestia.
>>"What this herb's dealio?
"Why are you doing this?" you moan, muffled by your hands.
>What fresh hell is this?
>Morbid curiosity and fascination makes you lower your hands and peek back at your relatives through your fingers.
>Aunt Luna catches your eye and takes a few steps backwards, puffing up her chest and putting on a cocky smile.
>>"Yo, so I was talkin' to my homeslice here, Solaris-"
>Aunt Luna slaps your mom on the chest, and Celestia squeaks when your aunt unintentionally lands a square hit on one of her nipples.
>>"-and we heard about this hot new thing, y'dig? It's called, 'incest with your mother and your aunt'."
>Fuck's sake.
>This again?
>If they aren't leaving l-lewd photos of themselves in your locker, they're doing their best to pretend to be students and trick you into thinking incest is cool.
"Mom, for christ's sake, will you sto-"
>"Ayyy!"
>Your mom takes a step back and holds her hands out to the side.
>"Take a chill pill! This stuff's only for the coolest of the cool, right? Me an' my bud here will cut you a square deal."
>Aunt Luna crosses her arms and nods emphatically.
>>"Here's how it be, Clydesdale. You take us on a tour and give us the 411 on CHS, and we'll let you in on everything you need to know 'bout the latest sensation."
>"And remember, this is for cool eyes only."
>Your mom pushes her sunglasses back up her nose and, once again, lowers them so that she can gaze at you over the rims.
>"You aren't a square, are you?"
"Mom."
>"A plain Jane?"
"MOM."
>"A hoser?"
"Mo-...a what?"
>"A dickweed?"
"Dickweed?!"
>Are these two just spitting outdated slang at you randomly?
>This is so stupid.
>The bell suddenly rings, and you realize that the next period is about to begin.
>You only have a few seconds to act. In just a moment, a bunch of students will flood the halls to get to their next class, and they'll all see your incredibly embarrassing family doing... whatever it is they're doing.
>Yeah, no, you're not sticking around for this.
>Without bothering to grab your stuff from the locker, you turn around and speed-walk down the hallway and ultimately out the door.
>"H-Hey, come back! Don't you want to be popular?!"
>>"All you gotta do is get to third base with your aunt!"
>"No; with your mom!"
>You wish you could say this was the first time this happened.
>You wish you could say a lot of things about your mom and aunt.
=======================================================================================================================================
"Did she just bite into the outside of a pineapple?"
>"Yes."
"Doesn't that cause swelling in and around the mouth?"
>"Yes, she tries something every year to get out of it. This time it won't work. Come on Lulu!"
>"No!"
>Her lips are already swelling.
>"Luna, may I remind you that you are the vice-principal of CHS and 32 years old."
>"Well would rather be banished for a thousand years than go to another meeting!"
>Mom starts dragging Auntie Lulu to the door.
>"This is a violating of my rights Tia! Let go of me!"
>"This is ridiculous, you're a grown woman Luna."
>Mom turns to you as she drags a stuggling Luna gets closer to the door.
>"See you in two days Sunshine, love you."
>Auntie looks at straight to eyes.
>"Nephew, avenge me! AVVENNNGE MEEE!"
>Pic related
>Door slams.
>Now you got to watch for Cousin Candy.
 
>At the meeting the other employees are giving Celestia weird looks because Luna is sitting there crying with her face swollen
>They think she's either having a horrible allergic reaction to something and Celestia doesn't care, or Celestia is beating her
>Luna gets sent home early and the two of you play video games until Celestia gets home
 
>"God damn it Luna, here's some uber money just go."
>Luna comes home to Candy riding Anon and he is pulling her ponytail.
 
>Be Luna.
>You got to leave the meeting early because your face swelled up from eating a pineapple.
>Also you were crying.
>Not because of the pineapple, because the people there were -so- boring!
>So while Tia get's to be bored at a meeting with -old- people complain about -old- people things, you get to go home and play some vidya with your niece and nephew!
>Oh, you can't wait!
>Your uber driver pulls up to your driveway.
>”So, just making sure. This ride is free and you make sure I get a passing grade in algebra. Right?” Lyra ask.
“Mhmm.”
>You say with a nod.
>”Nice! Alright, see ya’ later Vice Principle Luna!” She calls as you get out of her car and she pulls away.
>That kid -really- sucks at algebra.
>Good at history though.
>Oh well, now is not the time for Vice Principle bribery.
>Now is the time to rek scrub family!
>As you enter the house shouts fill your ears.
>”Harder Nonny! Oh god right there!”
>”Oh I've got you Candy!”
>They must be playing already.
>Nice!
>You slowly make your way upstairs to Anon's room.
>”Pick me up and fill me with your life!”
>Figures Cadence would need healing.
>”Oh I'll fill you!” Anon calls
>”I need to be on top!” Cadence whines.
>Really Cadence? Having Anon carry?
>Scrub.
>You open the door to see-
“Holy!”
>They don't seem to notice you.
>”Oh god! Pull my hair harder Nonny! Make me yours!” Cadence calls as Anon tugs on her hair and rubs her legs. “Oh Nonny! I'm- NNH!!”
>Cadence clenches her teeth as she slings herself down and pulls him close.
>”Candy ohh~ I'm gonna-"
>”Inside! Do it inside!”
>Anon wraps his arms around Cadence's back and rams himself into her as much as he can being on bottom.
>Soon he stops pumping and the two are left there breathing heavily as they hold one another.
>Cadence looks up and catches your eyes.
>You expect her to freak out, but she just smiles.
>”Hey auntie Lulu, wanna see if you can make your nephew happy with those swollen lips if yours~” Cadence purrs pulling back to reveal your nephew's still erect member.
>Oh god.
=======================================================================================================================================
>"Cadence, can't you distract Anon for a few hours? Your meeting doesn't take place until tomorrow."
>>"I dunno, Celestia. I don't even know what the kids these days like to do. Do they still go down to arcades or malt shops?"
>"...those were before your time, Cadence. You're what, 28? Look, just... there's a pool here, alright? Throw on a skimpy bikini and let him ogle you until dinner."
>>"First of all, I don't OWN a skimpy bikini. Second of a-"
>"Here's fifty bucks."
>>"...SECOND of all, I'm a married woman."
>"It's not cheating if he doesn't touch anything. Now go and give my boy some new masturbation material; god knows I'm already finding way too many pairs of stolen underwear with semen stains on them as it is."
=======================================================================================================================================
>Celestia isn't really Anon's mother
>She's just desperately lonely and regrets not having kids years ago
>It's summer vacation, and Celestia is left without work since her school won't have any students in it for a few months
>Anon (who is a recent graduate) was meant to be a one-night stand, but then he accidentally shouted "Mom!" during sex
>Anon swears he doesn't have an Oedipus complex
>Celestia gets the biggest look of bewilderment on her face, and Anon worries that she's about to kick him out of her bed for being a weirdo
>"Did you just... call me mom?"
>Roaring maternal instincts mixed in with arousal spur her on to keep talking
>"Say it again, sweetheart. Slower."
>The sex resumes, but it leans decidedly towards "love making" than "fucking"
>Anon and Celestia continue to see each other, but Celestia's behavior has taken a turn for the maternal
>Celestia wonders if she can have her cake and eat it too
=======================================================================================================================================
>be anon
>also be a filly
>how that happened doesn't matter, what matters is what's happening in the now
>currently you are waiting outside the throne room of the two sisters
>most ponies in your situation would be nervous
>their heart would be pounding
>they'd be worried about what is about to happen to them
>you, however, are just plain bored
>you've been sitting by the door for what feels like a thousand years
>it's cold, and your hooves hurt
>not to mention your flank
>stupid purple horse, you swear there might be a way to get her arrested for filly abuse
>that's not why you're here though
>suddenly the throne room door opens, revealing two castle guards
>the one on the right turns to you and speaks
>"The Princess will see you now."
>you roll your eyes
"Gah! It's about damn time!"
>the guards head inside the throne room, motioning you to follow
>as you do so, you look up at the throne
>oddly enough, no pony is sitting there
>in your confusion, you look around the room trying to see if there's something you're missing
>sure enough, you spot Princess Celestia sitting at a table
>your eyes grow wide and a smile forms as you spot cookies on the table
>Celestia looks at you and smiles before turning to the guards
>"Thank you, you may leave us be. I shall call you in if we need anything"
>they take a quick bow before making their way out of the throne room
>you eye Celestia suspiciously as she looks at you with inquisitive eyes
>she motions you towards the table
>"Please. Sit."
>you raise an eyebrow and make tentative steps to the table
>you finally sit down and eye the cookies
"So, these aren't like, poisoned with some kinda friendship spell, are they?"
>Celestia's eyes widened
>"Why in Equestria would you think that?"
"Well, when you live with Twilight Sparkle..."
>you decide not to go into detail
>shockingly, Celestia laughs at this
>did she think you were joking?
 
>an aura of yellow magic surrounds Celestia's horn as she pulls a scroll out from seemingly nowhere
>she speaks as she begins to open it
>"I realize Twilight might be a bit... unorthodox at times, but please understand she has your best interests at heart"
>your jaw nearly hits the table as you try to understand if she actually said that
"So is that why she felt the need to hit me?"
>you rub your flank to emphasize your words
>to be honest, it didn't hurt quite as bad anymore, but that's besides the point
>Celestia lets silence hang in the air for a moment as she ponders your words
>her face is unreadable, but you can at least tell it's not a happy one
>after a few moments, she opens up the scroll she was holding in her magic
>she looks over whatever is inside the scroll before finaly speaking
>"I must admit, I did not expect to hear of that. I've never known Twilight to hurt anyone"
"Well she DID! And it hurt REAL BAD!"
>you try to drum up some tears to make the moment seem even more pitiful
>unfortunately that skill was left behind the moment you left your human body
>Celestia lets out a sigh
>"While I will not excuse her actions, that does not mean that I will ignore the things that you have done"
>for the first time since arriving at the castle with Twilight, you actually feel nervous
>after all, you ARE talking to some kind of god horse that rules over all
>you let out an audible gulp as she turns back to the scroll
>"Damaging her work space because 'it's fun to throw stuff,' scaring Spike into believing that Twilight will kick him out if he grows older
 
because 'you just like messing with him,' purposefully unorganizing Twilight's personal library because 'she's funny when she gets autistic,'"
>she pauses for a moment and looks at you
>for your part, your annoyed expression has not changed
>whatever Celestia was looking for, she apparently did not get it
 
 
>she sighed and decided it was best to move on
>"And then of course, there's the most recent incident. Anon, I'm not quite sure what a 'faggot' is, but if it's bad enough that it caused her
 
to hit you, then it can not be anything pleasant"
>it took all of your willpower to not start bursting out laughing
>even then, you could not hold in your immature giggling
>Celestia, however, did not see the humor in things
>her expression changed into a somewhat subdued anger
>"Anon I understand that you may think this is all very funny, but do you really think this is any way for a filly to act?"
>your giggling stops
>you snort in annoyance and cross your hooves over your chest
"I may be a filly, but I'm not a kid! I'm in my twenties damn it. Why does everyone forget this?"
>"And yet you insist on acting like you're still a filly. Which you are."
>you detected a hint of amusement in her voice
>whether intentional or not, it only served to annoy you more
>you responded with the best comeback you could think of
"Whatever"
>Nailed it
>Celestia sighed and shook her head
>"I understand this is a strange world to you, but if you are going to live in my Kingdom you will abide by my rules. And the first rule is to
 
treat your guardian with respect"
>you scoff at her words
"I'll respect her when she stops treating me like shit"
>the atmosphere in the room changes drastically the moment the final word escapes your mouth
>Celestia drops the scroll on the ground and looks you straight in the eye
>her eyes bare the force of a thousand suns
>her angry frown causes you to shrink slightly in your seat
>"I do not know who you think you are, Anon, but I absolutely will NOT tolerate such language in my realm. Do you understand?"
>she wasn't yelling
>not really anyways
>but for the effect it had, she might as well have been
>your eyes quickly drop, no longer able to look at the angry mare in front of you
"B..b-but..."
>"Do. You. Understand."
>resigning yourself to her words, you give a quick nod
 
 
>your eyes, still unable to reach Celestia's, find their way to the cookies on the table
>you almost forgot about them
>a heavy silence rings out for what feels like a century
>a golden aura surrounds the cookies before they are pushed towards you
>you finally look up at Celestia, tears beginning to fill your eyes
>not fake, but real ones
>her face has softened and the fire in her eyes have burned out
>as you choke down a few sobs, you finally take a cookie
>as you bite into it, Celestia pulls out two teacups for each of you and begins pouring
>it tastes heavenly
>so good that you could almost forget that you're here to be reprimanded
"T-thanks. And I'm sorry."
>this wasn't one of your many apologies to Twilight
>this one you actually meant
>"What's done is done. Just do not do it again"
>more silence
>still as uncomfortable as before
>maybe even more so
>you continute to chow down on the cookies and sip your tea
>you actually hate tea, but it would be rude to decline Celestia's offer
>...wait a minute, since when did you care about being rude?
>at least, you never cared when it was Twilight
>or any other pony for that matter
>Celestia, however...
>she seems to have a much more powerful effect on you than Twilight has ever had
>maybe being some kind of freaky thousand year old all powerful god horse had something to do with that
>Celestia finally breaks the silence
>"I apologize for being so harsh. I just want what's best for you"
>she said the same thing about Twilight and you did not believe her
>however, she's not talking about Twilight, she's talking about herself
>that makes all the difference in the world
 
 
"I know"
>your voice is small and soft
>you're not even sure if Celestia heard you
>"No pony will respect a pony who doesn't care about what effect their actions have on others. Have you even considered what Twilight is going
 
through? I do not mean for you to think that you are a burden on her, but she has far more responsibilities to worry about outside of taking
 
care of you"
"I know"
>you were a little louder this time
>"Your actions have caused her great stress. And while I do not approve of what she did, that doesn't make your actions acceptable"
"I know"
>more silence
>you look up at Celestia again
>she's giving you a much more compassionate face than you expected
>almost motherly
>but the disappointment was also there
>you think back to your own parents, and what they would say when you did something that upset them
>'I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed'
>no amount of spankings would ever hurt more than those words
>and those words were exactly what Celestia's expression was saying to you
>your tears continute to spill
>Celestia walks over to you and puts her wing around you
>she tightens the hold into a compassionate hug
>you turn towards her and bury your face in her chest
>"Please do not cry, my litte pony. We all make mistakes, and we all learn from them"
>you sob deeply into her coat
"I... I'm s-sorry..."
>you mutter your apology over and over again, like a broken record
>Celestia does what she can to comfort you
>she hugs you tight
>she hushes you softly
>she nuzzles the top of your head
>she tells you everything will be alright
>the ensuing silence is no longer uncomfortable
>the two of you sit like that for longer than you can even fathom
>soon enough, your sobbing subsides
>as much as you hate to admit it, you hate it when she lets go and returns to the other side of the table
>she sips her tea as she looks at you
>her gaze is no longer difficult to look at
>you wipe your eyes with your hoof and take another cookie
 
 
>Celestia breaks the silence
>"Feeling better?"
>you nod
"Mhmm, a little"
>Celestia gives you a warm smile
>"Good. Now, I hope you understand that it's bad to treat Twilight the way you have been"
>you raise a hoof in protest, but think better of it before the words are able to leave your lips
>"I know that you have your concerns, but please understand. She is only trying to help you adjust to this world. She is trying to raise you to
 
be the very best pony you can be. She loves you very much, and I'm sure deep down you love her just as much"
>you can't protest her words
>because as much as you hate to admit it, they're true
>"I very much hope we do not need to have this conversation again"
>you give her a hopeful smile
"Can... can I still come to visit you?"
>Celestia beams down at you
>"Of course you can! I would love nothing more. So long as it's not in the same context as our current meeting"
>you internally breath a sigh of relief
>suddenly you're not feeling quite as horrid as you were
>in fact, you're quite happy with how things turned out
>you never expected Celestia to be so...
>loving?
>caring?
>no, those two aspects were obvious
>motherly
>that was the word you were looking for
>wanting to break the silence, you suddenly let your thoughts spill off your tongue
"It still hurt w