"You must be one of the older augs," JC Denton said, as he looked down at the little Japanese woman (who was, inexplicably, also a strawberry blonde). "Your legs are an older model. But serviceable."
 
"Can't run with the big dogs, those jeans are too tight," DMX observed.
 
"Arr! You'll never take me alive, you scurvy dogs!" the infamous pirate Emi-Blackbeard shouted, trying to free herself from her bonds.
 
"You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel," JC Denton pointed out.
 
"Yeah. I've been rappin' about 20 years and you 20 years old," DMX said.
 
Then DMX and JC Denton took off all their clothes. And DMX's penis was a .45 automatic and JC's was a stun baton.
 
JC Denton engaged his nano-lubrication augmentations, and lemon scented lube spewed all over his stun cock.
 
"Nooooooo!" Emi the pirate wailed. "I thought we were never doing that again!"
 
"what good's an honest soldier if he can be ordered to behave like a terrorist?" JC asked.
 
"Last I heard, them niggas was having sex with the same sex," DMX pointed out, as he prepared to go into Emi's mouth.
 
Then DMX and JC both banged Emi and lifted her off the ground so that she was suspended between them by her mouth and butt. JC engaged his arm augments and flung all three of them into space together.
 
"Oh. God. JC. A Bomb," Paul said. But then Adam Jensen stabbed him in the back and punched him out and went to eat a candy bar.
 
"Where the hood at?" DMX asked.
 
"Over there, in the men's clothing aisle," the nice lady said.
 
Then DMX and JC fucked Emi some more until she was leaking cum from every orifice. And she still wanted more because everyone knows that Emi is a slut. But then Misha ate everything and became the fattest thing ever.
 
Richter Bromont showed up and wondered where everyone had gone, but it was too late. KSG had turned into faggot town. And they had a faggot day parade and everyone had buttsex with each other before a nuclear bomb wiped it all off the map. An indian cried and a single tear ran down his cheek.
 
It was about then that Hanako burst into the room carrying two butt plugs and a violet wand. "Lilly!" she shouted. "I've figured out the secret formula to mindblowing orgasms!" She shoved the buttplugs up her and Lilly's behinds, and then engaged the violet wand and electrocuted them both. Their skeletons glowed like neon lights and they both died of intense cumming so hard that their spirits left their bodies and went windsailing on the moons of titan.
 
Suddenly nine million naked angels descended from the heavens, prancing and writhing sensually while they revved up their holy murderchainsaws and prepared to battle the hordes of the Uruk-Hai for control of Middle Earth. But the orcs were all super gay and preferred to have buttsex with each other than trying to rape the angels. Slightly confused at this turn of events, the angels decided to play parcheesi with each other and watch Christopher Lee movies, because Christopher Lee is a badass.
 
Then JC fired off his GEP gun of sperm and caused emi to get drenched in man juice and DMX brought in every single ganster rapper to run a train on her and Emi still wasn't satisfied.
 
Suddenly in the night sky a giant Rei appeared and everyone turned into Tang. The end.