"Oh, sorry."
>"... Did I say to stop?"
"N-No ma'am! I just thought you'd want me to go back to petting your-"
>"Both."
"Huh?"
>"Both. Do both."
"I-"
>"At the same time."
"... Okay?"
>"Good. This pleases your queen."
"Quee-?"
>"Princess."
"..."
>"... Yes, deeper. Pinch my left nipple."
"You wanna know something?"
>"Sure."
"When I took the job of royal petter, I wasn't expecting this."
>"They never do. Just remember that I sign your paychecks."
"Right, right. I got it."
>"Good. Now faster, sex monkey."
"Sex monke-?!"
>"Paychecks."
"... Going faster."
 
---
"Princess Celestia?"
>"Yes Anon?"
"I, uh, had a few questions."
>"Ask away, I'll answer to the best of my abilities."
"Thanks... It's just, I'm Twilight's personal petter and she's having me do some lewd stuff."
>"Oh?"
"Yeah. The other day she had me finger her butt while I suckled her teat."
>"Did she have you penetrate her?"
"What?"
>"Did you put your dick in her?"
"Well, no, but-"
>"Then it's all within your job requirements."
"Even the cunnilingus?"
>"Yes, even the cunnilingus. As Twilight's personal petter-"
"Well, technically I'm not."
>"Pardon?"
"My job is by all technicalities the royal petter. Does that change anything?"
>"... Yes."
"Princess Celestia-? A-Awwww."
>"And don't be afraid to fist me. I can handle it."
"But Princes Celestiaaaaa."
>"I'll pay you triple your normal wages."
"... I'll get my gloves."
>"No. I want it bare."
"... Okay."
>"Mmm, call me a silly filly, sex monkey."
"What the- you too?!"
>"Triple."
"... You're a silly filly."
 
---
"You wanted to see me, Cadence?"
>"Yes. You see, Twilight told me about your... Skills."
"Oh god."
>"I was just hoping you could use your skills to help me out."
"You're married!"
>"What?! No! Not like that!"
"Wha?"
>"I want you to use them on Shining!"
"... No."
>"No?"
"No!"
>"Why not?"
"I am NOT getting a stallion off!"
>"Excuse me?!"
"I get paid to pet Twilight, Celestia pays me triple, and I'll do that, but I draw the line at stallions!"
>"Anon! I am talking about PETTING him! Actual, literal petting!"
"... You are?"
>"YES! My god, what have they been having you do?"
"... Fingering, fisting, eat out both their holes."
>"O-Oh."
"Yeah... So, just petting?"
>"Yes."
"Okay... Where is he?"
>"Right here."
"... He's dressed like Twilight."
>"Um-"
"Double."
>"Huh?"
"I'll do it for double my rates."
>"Oh. Uh, if you could call him a pretty filly too, he'd like that."
"Sure. Not the worst thing I've done."
 
---
"Jesus, the shit I do..."
>"N' what's that?"
"Whoa!"
>"Ah! Hold yer horses, Anon!"
"Applejack? Oh, and phrasing."
>"Yeah, howdy."
"What are you doing in my- wait, HOW did you get in my house?"
>"Borrowed tha spare from Twilight."
"Of course you did. Why are you here?"
>"Um, ah was... Sorta... Kinda, maybe hopin' that..."
"..."
>"..."
"Well?"
>"Uh, you could pet... Me?"
"Sexual or non?"
>"Non-sexual please."
"Fine."
>"Great! Here ya go."
"Huh, didn't think you could afford this."
>"Shut up n' just pet me."
"All right, geez."
>"... Mm, that's nice. Slower... Ooh, slower."
"Eugh, you're not gonna call me daddy, are you?"
>"NO!"
"Just checking."
>"Like ah'd even mention that piece a shit!"
"Whoa, hostile?"
>"Considerin' tha fucker touched Big Mac-"
"Wait, what?!"
>"Yeah! Why do ya think he's so quiet?! Ah'm glad that sum bitch is dead."
"Did he... You?"
>"He was gonna! Fore he went and croaked. Grrrr, ya know what? Turn this sexual."
"Huh?"
>"Ah'm pissed."
"And that's why you want to turn this into a finger banging?"
>"That a problem?!"
"No no, just checking."
>"Good.. Two fingers... Nah, three."
"You got it. Want some nipple pinching with that?"
>"It gonna cost extra?"
"Ehhh, nah."
>"Good, just make sure ta be rough. N' ah mean REAL rough."
"Understood."
>"Mmmm, that's a good sex monkey."
"God-... What ever."
 
---
>"Uh, hmm. Oh my, this place is quite dreary."
"Nnn... Huh?"
>"An open window wouldn't hurt. Maybe some silk curtains, a new coat of paint. Ooh! Saddle arabian rug!"
"Whose here?!"
>"Oh! No need to be afraid darling, just me."
"Rarity? It's... Six in the morning!"
>"Yes, I figured you would be home now."
"What are you doing here?!"
>"I was hoping to purchase some, well, company?"
"Eugh, come here."
>"Oh, so this is your bedroom. I like it."
"Stay on topic. Purchase some company?"
>"Yes, it seems there are small rumors of you pleasing royalty."
"Oy vey..."
>"There are also rumors that your rates are quite affordable."
"I'm not a whore."
>"Heavens no! You're a petter, and that is just what I need right now."
"It's too early for this shit."
>"I brought biiits~"
"... What ever. What do you want?"
>"To sit upon your face as you finger my bottom."
"Fine. Just get up here."
>"Very well... Oh... Oh! Oh my, your tongue is quite soft."
"Mhmm."
>"Oooh, your fingers are quite dexterous as well. Ohh yes, I can see why Twilight brags now."
"Nnn."
>"Oh, growl more! That feels WOBDERFUL! Oh? Hee hee, someone is happy to see me. It is too bad I can't touch that meaty rod, else I would turn this into prostitu-Uuuu-UTION! Oh! More, more!"
"Grrr!"
>"Yes, ravage my maiden marehood with your tongue, you sex monkey!"
"Gah!"
>"AHH! You bit me! ... Do it again."
"Eugh..."
 
---
"..."
>"Um, hello?"
"..."
>"Anon? Are you awake?"
"..."
>"Waaake up mister man. Um, please?"
"Nnn..."
>"Almost. Come on, Anon. I have a present for you."
"... Wha present Fluhshuh?..."
>"A... Berjeh..."
"A berjey?"
>"No, a, um, blohjuh."
"A blowjoe?"
>"No! A... Blowjob."
"... A blowjob."
>"Yes."
"For no reason?"
>"Oh, there are plenty of reasons. You're always so sweet and kind-"
"Pff-aha!"
>"... You don't discriminate, you're a friend, and you've been forced to eat out pony pussy but no ones ever returned the favor."
"Wait, how did you know- Dammit Rarity!"
>"Sorry."
"Ugh, so, what? You feel pity for me or sonething?"
>"What? No! I-I'm just being empathetic."
"Empathetic would imply you've been where I am."
>"..."
"... Oh lord."
>"So, no blowjob?"
"Fine. Just make it quick."
>"Okay."
"Hah... Huh? Hmm, not bad. O-Ohhh, forget what I said. Don't make it quick."
>"Mmm."
"Oooh yeah. Been to long since I got head. Wait, what are you doing with your ton-GGGH!"
>"Hnn?"
"Okay, that's what you're doing. Fuck, Fluttershy, never pictured you as kniwing how to give expert head!"
>"Hmm~"
"Definitely going to be awake after this."