I hadn’t heard from my parents since I first started attending Yamaku. Those months flew by in a whirl of emotion. I learned to cope with my condition, began planning for my future, and perhaps met someone dearer to me than ever before.
 
I’ve been so conflicted since that day on that sunset hill where she told me that she loved me; where she told me that everything in her heart was finally at peace. And yet, I wasn’t able to say those same things to her…
 
Still, every day has been a gift, and I have cherished every moment I’ve been given to look into those hazy green eyes. It’s a shame I’ll be without them for a while.
 
My parents are usually away on business, but they’ll be doing generic office work so I can visit home for the rest of summer break. The phone call was short notice, and I was unsure at first, but it might be nice to sleep in my old bed again. They’re picking me up tomorrow, but that’s like years to me. Right now, I’m late for a very important lunch.
 
The usually busy classroom is now near-deserted. Mutou looks pretty discouraged. He probably thought that teaching one-on-one would be easy, but I don’t think he had any idea who he’s dealing with. My presence is given away by a distinct, intentional cough.
 
“Ah, Hisao. Good timing. We were just finishing up with the afternoon’s lesson.”
 
I seriously doubt that. He’s looking for an out. A familiar voice reminds me who I’m here for.
 
“You’re late.”
 
She’s clearly amused by this. Her untamable crimson hair looks even messier than usual.
 
“Are you ready, Rin? Let’s go grab some lunch.”
 
“Right. Grab.”
 
I cringe. I gave her that one too easily. I do my best to shrug it off, and we’re on our way out the door.
 
“Make sure you bring her back, okay?”
 
I question the sincerity of Mutou’s request as I throw my hand up in acknowledgement.
 
I miss Emi’s lunches already. She’s nowhere to be found, however, and I’m forced to resort to the cafeteria’s questionable meals. I find it strange that Yamaku bothers to prepare meals when classes aren’t even in session, but I guess there are still students who stay on campus who could use a hot meal now and again. I opt for something riskless and simple: vegetables over rice, and we make our way to our sanctuary on the roof.
 
It’s another beautiful day. The sky is blue, the clouds are white, and a young couple with less arms and functional hearts than average between them are spending the afternoon together. I smile spontaneously. Rin gives me a puzzled look.
 
“What is it?”
 
“Nothing. Nothing. It’s just – being here with you right now – I don’t know – this is nice.”
 
Rin bites her lower lip, as if lost in thought. She reaches the conclusion she was hoping for and looks back to me, completely relaxed.
 
“It really is.”
 
Lately, I’ve been noticing Rin a little differently; how she wrinkles her brow as she plans her next phrase; the way the light twinkles in her eyes when she’s looking up at the sky; how the red of her hair matches the hues of the inside of my eyelids on exceptionally sunny days. Before, these were quirks. But now…
 
I’m dragged back from the wistful place in my mind as I remember what I wanted to talk about today.
 
“Rin, I got a call from my parents yesterday. They asked me to spend next week with them at home.”
 
Rin’s frown makes me uneasy.
 
“You’re leaving?”
 
“Just for a week.”
 
Her new expression tells me that a week might be too long for her to bear. I understand completely. We’ve spent almost every day together for the last few months, and the sudden separation will be hard for me as well.
 
“I don’t… I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
 
A line like that could give anyone a heart attack. I try to appease her.
 
“I don’t think I can get out of it. They’re my parents; I can’t say no.”
 
Rin shakes her head with her whole body like a child forced to eat her vegetables.
 
“I’ll go with you.”
 
“You’ll… what?”
 
“I’ll go with you, Hisao. If you leave I’ll be alone and I don’t want that because when I’m around you I feel like I can be myself well at least I think that I’m myself I mean I could be someone else but I can’t really tell because-“
 
“Rin!”
 
Silence. I suddenly have a lot to think about.  The thoughts of a week with Rin are fairly entertaining, and I try to play out how it might go in my mind. Rin just looks at me with those emeralds of hers, and I find my ability to concentrate weakening with every second. Emi would be proud.
 
If there’s a chance, any chance at all that Rin and I could understand each other a little more, I’m willing to take it.
 
“Okay. I’ll let my parents know tonight.”
 
That’ll go well.
 
“Okay.”
 
“We’re leaving tomorrow. I’ll come get you around noon. Do you need help packing?”
 
“No.”
 
Lunch returns to the usual routine. We lie on the ground and contemplate the clouds. I let out a contented sigh.
 
“Hisao?”
 
“Yeah?”
 
My chest becomes reacquainted with the side of Rin’s face.
 
“Looking forward to it.”
 
If the clouds weren’t clearly above me, I’d swear that I’m on top of them.
 
 
This is going to be the weirdest phone call of my entire life. Just what exactly am I going to say?
Oh, hey dad! Yeah, I can’t wait for you to pick me up tomorrow. Also, my armless zen-master girlfriend is coming with me, so make up the guest room!
 
Okay, I might be blowing things out of proportion. I’m sure that my parents will be more than happy just knowing that I met someone. I do my best to calm my nerves. The trick is to dive into the danger before you know it’s about to end you. I pick up my phone and dial a familiar number.
 
The first ring makes me feel slightly less nervous. The second makes me consider reaching for my medication. I never get the chance – a voice knocks me back into consciousness.
 
“Nakai Residence, Eikichi speaking.”
 
Deep breaths.
 
“Hi Dad! How are you?”
 
“Hisao! To what do I owe this pleasure?”
 
“I wanted to ask you about something.”
 
“Go ahead.”
 
“It’s about this weekend.”
 
“What about this weekend?”
 
His voice has become preemptively disappointed, and his sudden change in attitude shreds my composure.
 
“I was just – I was just wondering, do you think it would be all right if someone from school stays the week with me?”
 
“Oh, was that it?”
 
His tone seems positive enough, but I can’t gauge his decision from four words.
 
“Uh, yeah. Is that okay?”
 
“Of course! I’ll tell your mother to make up the guest room.”
 
I’m relieved. I don’t know how I would break it to Rin if she couldn’t come with me after our talk.
 
“Hisao, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
 
“No, that was pretty much it. So, we’ll see you tomorrow, then?”
 
“Yup. Don’t forget your medication, okay?”
 
“I won’t. Take care.”
 
“You too.”
 
I can finally breathe easy. The only thing that could possibly go wrong by now is Rin oversleeping.
 
Wait.
 
Rin.
 
I have the feeling that there’s something I’ve forgotten.
 
Rin?
 
Something that I’ve neglected to mention…
 
Rin!
 
Oh, god.
 
I was so concerned with getting the “okay” that skirted around the details.
 
This is bad.
 
My parents have no idea who I’m bringing home. They have no idea that Rin and I have been –
 
Where are my pills?
 
Panic sets in. For a while I just sit on my bed, massaging my temples. Pacing the room doesn’t help, either.
 
Damage control. Think, Hisao.
 
Okay.
 
My parents think the person I’m bringing with me is just a friend, so I’ll make sure that they think Rin and I are nothing more than that. That’s plausible, right? Probably not. But it sounds like a better alternative to them finding out that I’m sexually active despite a god damn heart condition.
 
 
This morning isn’t as pleasant as yesterday’s. I chalk it up to the awful air of apprehension circulating around me. I swing out of bed, take my pills, and begin my preparations. After showering and dressing, I grab my lone bag, open it up, set it next to my dresser, and sweep my arms across the many bottles of pills on top, knocking most of them inside.
 
There. Packed.
 
I pick up the stragglers, seal my gear, and head out of my dorm for the last time this week.
 
Not one step out of my room I already sense great evil. Something sinister: Danger.
 
“Sup, dude?”
 
I’m found. Tell my loved ones that I’m sorry.
 
“Hey, Kenji. Just leaving to go home for the week.”
 
“Weird, you’re breaking out? Alone? I thought you were tethered to that Venus De Milo chick.”
 
“You mean Rin?”
 
“Sure, why not?”
 
I can’t even begin to fathom how Kenji can liken Rin to a famous sculpture and then instantly forget her name.
 
“She’s coming with me.”
 
“WHAT?”
 
I have made a terrible, terrible mistake.
 
“She’s clearly working an inside job, man! Your very life is in danger! Sure, everything’s all well and good while she’s painting your sideburns, but one night you’re fast asleep and then BAM! Her thumbs are in your eye sockets!”
 
“She doesn’t have thumbs, Kenji.”
 
“…All right.”
 
“I’ve gotta get going. Nice talking to you.”
 
“You leave me no choice, Nakai.”
 
He glares at me. Or the wall just to the left of me, I can’t tell.
 
“Would you care to join me on the roof for a manly picnic before you leave?”
 
“Goodbye, Kenji.”
 
 
The loud knock of knuckle on wood pierces the lull of Rin’s dorm hall. The handle on Rin’s door turns, and the barrier between us creeps open a few inches. I look down and watch as five toes grip the edge of the door, swinging it open. I’ve got to learn how to do that.
 
“Good morning.”
 
Rin’s eyes meet mine.
 
“I think so.”
 
She’s wearing her school uniform despite the intentions of our trip. Her sleeves are tied off at the elbow, as usual. Someone on staff must have helped her this morning. It dawns on me that I’ll have to do the same. The thought of dressing and undressing her takes root, and I’m willing to put up with any doubts that I might have.
 
“Ready to go?”
 
Rin closes her eyes and nods, and then looks to her suitcase on the floor. It’s very large, and the brown plastic handle matches the rest of the luggage, save for two silver clasps on both ends where the mouth of case opens and closes. I take our bags and we leave for the school entrance.
 
We’re only halfway through the campus and my arms are on fire. The combined weight is a bit much. I let my arms drop low and carry myself with my legs. After what feels like ages, we arrive at the front gate. I set the bags down with less than finesse and check my watch. Eleven fifty-four. We’re right on time, and I feel a little better than this morning. I lean against the warm brick of the gate and close my eyes. The wind is gentle, occasionally pushing cool air under my ears toward the back of my head. My tranquility is brought to an abrupt end by the booming sound of a car’s horn. Sounds like they’re here.
I can see my parents’ beaming faces as the car slowly rolls to a stop. They must have missed me; the thought of that reassures me that this trip will go well.
 
The car doors open, and I smile nervously.  A man and woman, brunettes, looking to be in their early forties step out of the car, and I approach them.
 
“Mom, Dad, it’s so great to see you again!”
 
“Hisao! How are you?”
 
My answer is muffled by my mother’s embrace.
 
“Graffe, mawww.”
 
She relinquishes her grasp and I can breathe again. With appreciation for the general need for oxygen and personal space, my Dad simply waves.
 
“Staying out of trouble, I hope.”
 
“For the most part.”
 
We think ourselves clever, grinning at our exchange. Rin has made her way behind my distracted parents, and seems to be taking the initiative.
 
“Hello.”
 
They’re caught a little off guard. However, they had to have seen both of us while pulling up, and the surprise dissipates quickly. My father turns on his heel and instinctively extends his hand in what must be tradition in the family.
 
My father is offering a handshake to someone without arms.
 
Rin just stares at his hand until she realizes her situation.
 
“Oh.”
 
She takes a step back, slips her foot out of her sandal, and gracefully places it in his hand.
 
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Nakai. I’m Rin. Rin Tezuka.”
 
My father can’t think of anything but to shake Rin’s foot as my mother places a hand over her mouth. I can’t stifle my laughter. Rin has my parents dumbfounded within the first fifteen seconds of meeting.
 
My father and I pack our bags into the trunk to the soundtrack of small-talk about my well-being, and soon after we finish we pile into the car.
 
The distance between my house and Yamaku is by no means short, but the thought of my home town helps me kill some time. I wonder how well my friends of past remember me, if even at all. I think back to Iwanako. Her letter definitely had no malicious connotations, but I can only hope I won’t run into her over this next week.
 
I’m snapped back to reality as my father begins what I suspect is a rehearsed inquisition.
 
“So, Rin, is it?”
 
“Yes. I think so. I haven’t checked recently, though.”
 
Come on, Rin, they don’t know you well enough to understand that you’re serious.
 
“Hisao didn’t tell me you were a girl.”
 
“That one I know for sure.”
 
He’s too busy laughing to himself to notice the blood rushing to my face, but I’m perfectly fine with my newfound embarrassment. Rin’s gender was the first potential hazard, and we cleared it without problem. Now we just need to avoid any displays of affection for a week and oh man this plan is going to crash and burn.
 
“So, how did you two meet?”
 
Rin just shrugs. She’s focused so intently on the sky outside her window. You can tell when she’s found something interesting when she cranes her neck to follow it until it’s fully out of her view. To me, Rin’s body language is a definite statement, but my dad has no idea; I interject.
 
“I helped Rin paint a mural for the school festival.”
 
That tiny outlet of information may have been too much. My father’s curiosity is in full swing.
 
“Ooooh, so you’re an artist, eh? What’s that like?”
 
“I paint things.”
 
My palm could have set the land speed record on the way to my face. It’s time for a change of topic.
“So, Mom, what’s for dinner tonight? It’s my homecoming, after all. Anything special planned?”
 
My mother’s attention is elsewhere. Something’s on her mind.
 
“Mom?”
 
Her head bobs for a second. She’s found her way back to the car.
 
“Oh, we thought you might want to order takeout like we used to.”
 
My eyes light up. I haven’t had good takeout in–
 
“Of course, we’ll have to modify the order a bit. Can’t have you eating crap like MSG with your condition, son.”
 
I’d be less disheartened if I had just witnessed the death of Santa Claus. There is nothing sacred in this world. Rin isn’t as shaken as I.
 
“Hot and sour soup, please.”
 
Dad chimes in with almost irrational cheer.
 
“Of course! You’re our guest, you can have whatever you like.”
 
Rin turns to me, a complacent smile on her face.
 
“Cheer up.”
 
And with that, she returns to her window. The rest of the ride is uneventful.
 
 
Compared to the other houses in the neighborhood, the Nakai residence is fairly modest: two stories, gray paint, a back yard, and a white picket fence. Welcome to suburbia.
 
I join my Dad in an exercise of chivalry, grabbing our bags out of the trunk before we head inside. Everything is as I remember. The modest chandelier above us pours light into the foyer that warms the family photos scattered around the immediate area. It’s strange; we don’t keep these photos anywhere else. It’s almost as if they’re on display for visitors to notice, rather than for our family to enjoy. Along the wall to the right of the entrance is a carpeted twelve-step staircase leading to the second floor. A dark-brown wooden banister outlines the outside edge of the incline and hooks to the left at the top at a ninety degree angle. The banister’s rungs would be filled with chips and scratches from where I dragged my toys as a child, but we had them replaced after my destructive phase.
 
To my left is the entrance to the living room, where we would entertain guests. Inside, the bay window allows for natural lighting in the daytime and an intimate view of the stars at night. The furniture is different from when I was last here, but that’s to be expected. My mother was always so obsessed with having the latest and most popular designer pieces. I remember an argument between my parents from when I was twelve. Dad kept saying that that we spent too much on keeping up appearances. He lost that argument, and has made exclusive concessions regarding furniture since. Years later I would discover our family budget – the number for furnishing was frighteningly large. There is a piano in the farthermost corner of the room, another monument of my mother’s value of aesthetics; no one in my family knows how to play.
 
Straight ahead is a thin corridor leading to the kitchen: the largest room in the house. From where I’m standing I can see what looks like a new kitchen table. There is a sliding glass door that leads to the backyard that exposes the many trees and hedges that adorn the property line.
 
I take our bags and struggle up the stairs, Rin in tow. There are four rooms on the second floor: My parents’ to the right, the bathroom straight ahead, and one for guests and myself to the left. We walk into the guest room, and true to Dad’s word, it’s neat and tidy. The walls are a simple white – bare, except for a lone window that looks down on the back yard and a closet with a sliding door. The light on the ceiling is masked by a cloth shade, a cream colored trapezoid. The twin-size bed is fitted with taut blue sheets that smell of fabric softener.
 
“Where do you want your bag?”
 
Rin’s face is suddenly more pensive than usual. This must be an important. She finally reaches a decision.
 
“Anywhere on the floor, but not by the bed.”
 
I don’t see the need to understand her reasoning, and I comply without objection.
 
“Do you need help unpacking?”
 
A look of embarrassment washes over her face, and she shyly peers through the window as if she doesn’t want me to know the contents of her bag.
 
“No, I’ve got it under control.”
 
I shrug. That’s good enough for me. I leave her for my own room and toss my bag onto my bed. My room isn’t entirely unique from Rin’s, really. My parents wouldn’t tolerate rebellion, and my walls and ceiling are blank as a result. There is a tall nightstand next to my bed with a digital alarm clock whose green lights were welcomed company on nights when I had trouble sleeping. I have a dresser in the corner where I used to keep my clothes, though what used to fill them now wait at school. On top of the dresser rests framed photos of what I used to have: friends, birthday parties, and hobbies. A high of nostalgia rushes over me, but it fades quickly into a new bittersweet temperament. I think it would be best to keep these frames away while I’m here. I carefully place them in the bottom drawer. I’ll unpack later.
 
I leave my room and check back on Rin. She’s laying across her bed in a peculiar right angle, her head hanging over the edge upside down, her legs vertically resting on the wall.
 
“Having fun?”
 
“Time of my life.”
 
Was that sarcasm? I’ve no idea. Before I have the chance to ask, Dad’s booming voice swoops in from downstairs.
 
“Hisao! We’re ordering dinner now! What do you want?”
 
I call back to him.
 
“The usual, please!”
 
“Do you want anything besides soup, Rin?”
 
This is the most extreme conversation I have had in a while.
 
“Straws.”
 
“What was that?”
 
“Straws, Dad!”
 
Things are getting pretty ridiculous. I’m already tired of yelling.
 
“Come on, Rin. Let’s just go downstairs and deal with this like normal people.”
 
She pushes her legs off of the wall and maneuvers them until they’re above the open side of the bed. She  continues her exercise in geometry like this for a few seconds, and then swings them down to the floor, springing her to a standing position in one swift motion.
 
“Right. Normal.”
 
I scratch my head. We head downstairs and turn down the corridor into the kitchen. My mother sits at our umpteenth kitchen table while Dad leans against the counter space below the cabinets where we keep the dishes. He places a cordless phone on the granite that supports him.
 
“I just put the order in. If we get in the car now it’ll be ready by the time we get there.”
 
This is the most genius idea I’ve ever heard.
 
“What are we waiting for, then. Shall we?”
 
“No-no, it’s okay. I’ll get it. You should all just relax.”
 
My mother’s offer is somewhat flustered, but we accept, and she’s out the door with little hesitation. I’m scratching my head again.
 
“Is something bothering Mom?”
 
“I dunno. She’s been clonked out since we picked you up. No point in worrying about it, she gets like this sometimes. I’m going to spend some time in my office to work on a proposal. I trust you two won’t burn the house down until dinner?”
 
“Nah. At least, I won’t. I can’t speak for Rin.”
 
We turn our heads to look at her. Her grin is mischievous.
 
“I wouldn’t worry. I’m not very good with matches.”
 
Dad’s laughter is not as genuine as mine. Hopefully he’ll get used to this. He makes his way out of sight, down a small hallway that leads to two possible locations: the garage, and the basement, where dad keeps his make-shift office. I don’t think he gets a lot of work done down there. Every time I visit he’s reminiscing about his days as some biker punk. There’s a thought. My Dad Eikichi in his youth, the leader of a bike gang? Good one. I offer Rin a seat at the kitchen table and join her.
 
“So, Rin. What do you think?”
 
“This chair is very comfortable.”
 
I hadn’t really noticed until now.
 
“I mean, what do you think of my home? My parents?”
 
“Hmm. Your house is very pretty, but none of the furniture matches. It’s all really nice stuff on its own, but together it clashes. Your dad is like…”
 
“My dad is like?”
 
She shakes her head.
 
“No, what’s the word for when you’re honest and decent – your dad is genuine.”
 
“Genuine?”
 
“Yeah. Genuine.”
 
I would tend to agree. He often puts others before himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s rescued people from burning buildings or saved suicide jumpers.
 
“What about my mother?”
 
“I want to get to know her more. We haven’t talked at all.”
 
“Well, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll get the chance tonight.”
 
 
“I’m really glad that I’m here. This means a lot to me.”
 
“I’m glad you’re here too, Rin.”
 
Whatever romantic moment we were about to have is cut short by the grumbling of the garage door’s motor. Our meal has arrived, and Dad’s sudden appearance confirms my assumption. I instinctively begin grabbing dishes and utensils from the cabinet and set the table while my parents unpack the Chinese. Familiar scents and sights grab my senses. My pace becomes more sluggish, but I’m soon finished and sitting with Rin again. Dad brings over the articles of tonight’s feast to the table one at a time. I’m sure he’s aware of how annoyed I am.
 
“Think you could hurry?”
 
“What?”
 
“I said, do you think you could-”
 
“What?”
 
I’ve lost. Content with his successful display of obnoxiousness, he finally brings the last of the food to the table, and we’re all seated and serving ourselves. All of us except for Rin. She sits patiently in front of her empty bowl.
 
“Can I pour you some soup, Rin?”
 
The frustrated twinge in her upper lip tells me that I’m wasting her time with such questions.
 
“Yes.”
 
I happily perform, emptying the warm container of soup into her bowl. I peel the paper off of a plastic straw and carefully drop it into her soup, a personal coup de grace.
 
“Thank you.”
 
I casually nod in her direction, and start in on my own food. It’s as delicious as I remember. There’s no way that there isn’t any MSG in this. I look at Dad as I take my third mouthful. He throws me a quick wink. I believe the word that Kenji would use to describe him would be “Bro.”
 
Dinner continues with relative silence. Rin spends most of the meal looking around at each of us, but every now and then she takes to her soup in earnest. Her straw eventually alerts us that she’s finished with her soup, and she looks disappointed.
 
“Hey, Rin, do you want to try some of mine? It’s Mongolian beef. A bit spicy, but really good.”
She deliberates her hunger for a moment before accepting my offer. I set down my utensils and create a plate of meat, vegetables, and rice, and place it before her. She looks at it for a minute and frowns.
“Could you place it on floor, please?”
 
Some might be intrigued by her request, but I already know how this goes. I rest a fork on her plate, grab my own, and take a few strides away from the table. I set our food on the floor and sit down, and smile at Rin, signaling for her to join me. My parents look on in awe as she gracefully grasps the end of her fork between her toes, stabs into a morsel, and brings it to her mouth. She swallows.
 
“This is really tasty.”
 
My parents continue gawking in awkward silence for ten of the longest seconds before Dad recovers his composure.
 
“Try the onions, they’re my favorite.”
 
He has effectively broken the ice; the room’s mood is exchanged for a much more comfortable one. This time, I take it upon myself to continue the conversation.
 
“So – Mom, Dad, why don’t you tell Rin a bit about yourselves?”
 
My parents look at each other, as if they can’t decide who to go first. Dad wins again, or loses, depending on perspective.
 
“I work in marketing for large paper dishware company. Number one in Japan, if I have anything to say about it.”
 
Rin’s curiosity gets the better of her.
 
“Is that why we’re eating on glass plates?”
 
“Well, my dear, we can’t break out the good china for just anyone.”
 
His laughter tells Rin that Dad was, in fact, joking. She breaks into a small grin shortly after. I notice my mother is occupied with a mouthful of food and speak for her.
 
“Mom is a secretary for the mayor.”
 
My mother swallows her food painfully in a rush to correct me.
 
“Executive Assistant and Liaison of Information, honey.”
 
Right, Secretary. Dad nods in approval of her superfluous description.
 
“She needs the title, son. Her ego couldn’t stand anything less.”
 
“Hey!”
 
Dad laughs hysterically at his expected reaction and continues his teasing.
 
“Besides, she makes more than me! How else would we know who’s top dog?”
 
“Eikichi!”
 
If he were any less mature, I’d swear he’d be on the floor rolling around. I continue the feed of information.
 
“My parents have been married for twenty years.”
 
“Twenty-one, actually.”
 
He’s donning a serious demeanor now. When it comes down to the important parts of his marriage he’s all business.
 
My mother’s eyes flutter towards Rin every so often, stealing glances when she doesn’t think she’s noticed. She must not know how to approach Rin. I decide to do it for her.
 
“Hey, Mom, is here anything you want to know about Rin?”
 
My mother is visibly flustered; the chair she sits on could have turned to ice. I think she may have hoped to make it through this meal without making any conversation at all.
 
“Hmm… have you ever had any of your paintings in an exhibit?”
 
Not a subject I want to go into. Come on, heart attack! I lean back on my hands as I try to conceal my terror for what Rin could say next.
 
“I had my own exhibition a few weeks ago. I worked really hard for a while hoping people would understand me, but it was more or less a failure. If Hisao hadn’t visited me while I was working, I think I would have completely destroyed myself.”
 
My mother looks at Rin in shock.
 
“Destroyed yourself?”
 
“Sorry, is that not the right word? I’m not so good with words so it’s hard for me to tell people what I mean. It’s why I used to paint, but now I don’t really know.”
 
I recall those painful weeks when Rin was a complete mess of herself. If only I had known then what I know now. If only I had better understood. The need to purge these thoughts from my mind springs me to my feet.
 
“Welp! I think I’ll call it a night.”
 
Dad gives me a puzzled look as he checks his watch.
 
“It’s only seven-thirty.”
 
“Yeah, but it was a pretty long day, you know? Come on, Rin. Let’s let these two lovebirds have some privacy or something.”
 
I suddenly find myself laughing like an idiot.
 
“Okay. Thank you for the food.”
 
I place our half-empty plates in the sink as my parents return Rin’s courtesy. I practically sprint upstairs to my room. Rin catches up to me shortly after. There’s something awkward about the way she’s standing. She shifts from one foot to the room, looking at everything in the room. Everything except me.
“Something the matter?”
 
My words spur her into action. She quickly steps up to me and leans in for a hug. I wrap my arms around her. She kisses me.
 
“Good night, Hisao.”
 
I take one last look at her face before I release her.
 
“Good night, Rin.”
 
 
As if time had somewhere to be, morning arrives as quickly as I had bid goodbye night. The first thing I notice is the total darkness of the outdoors. My bedside clock tells me that it’s five in the morning. The next thing to grab my attention is Rin’s foot softly nudging me to consciousness. She’s not wearing pants. There are few people more fortunate than I. Still, it’s too early to be awake, and I can’t help but groan.
 
“Rin, what are you doing here?”
 
“I want to take a shower. Can you help me?”
 
Somewhere, a man writing adult fiction has a life-changing epiphany.
 
“Sure.”
 
I follow Rin to her room, and she stands over her luggage. She unlatches the small clasps of the case with her toes, slips her foot under the handle, and unfolds her bag. She begins rummaging through the contents, casually setting aside clothes for later days. As she finds something that interests her, she flings it over to the other side of the room. After a few minutes of this, she stops, content with her selection.
 
“Could you grab those for me?”
 
I walk across the room and pick up her things. Underwear, jeans, and a checkered blue-green flannel shirt. I strain myself to avoid imagining what Rin might look like dressed in any combination of these items, as I haven’t even had my morning medication. I grab her toothbrush as I leave her room.
 
The bathroom is dimly lit this time of day, and flicking the light switch so carelessly is one of my more regrettable decisions. The light swarms my eyes, and I look at the floor as they adjust. I hear the bathroom door shut, and raise my head to see that Rin is responsible. I’m not really sure what it is that she wants me to do.
 
“Undress me, please.”
 
Somewhere, a man writing adult fiction discovers that he too has arrhythmia.
 
I’m taken aback, but I know what she meant, and place her things on the bathroom counter. I unbutton her shirt, letting it fall to the floor. Her bra comes off easily as well; I’ve learned a bit of technique since our first night together. Finally, I gently lower her underwear. She steps out of them and yawns as I gaze upon her. She has bed head, though it would be hard for anyone else to tell. Her body has become less frail since her time spent on her art exhibit – I’ve become insistent that she eats at least once a day. I fight off the urge to do what any adolescent might in the sight of his naked girlfriend in the glistening morning twilight. This is neither the time, nor the place.
 
“Do you need anything else?”
 
“No, I think I’ll be okay, thanks.”
 
I step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I wonder if Rin knows how to operate the shower, but my doubts are washed away by the sound of running water. I use this opportunity to take my medication before returning to the bathroom door. Leaning against it, I slowly slide myself to the ground, noble guard that I am. I wait for some time, and begin to feel myself drifting off to sleep, but a wet toe to the back of my head tells me that I’m needed. I step back into the bathroom.
 
I’m greeted by the sight of a naked Rin yet again, but this time she’s dripping wet from the shower, and I am so very glad that I just took my medication. I towel her dry and help her with her clothes. Her sleeves hang freely, as I am terrible with knots, but I think it’s a good look for her. I grab up her old clothes and place them in a neat pile in Rin’s room before we both embark for the kitchen.
 
I check the time on the oven. Six o’clock.
 
“Do you want anything for breakfast?”
 
“No.”
 
“You sure?”
 
She contemplates.
 
“No.”
 
“Yeah. Too early for food.”
 
Her attention is outside. She speaks without looking at me.
 
“The sun is still rising. Do you want to watch it with me?”
 
I can’t think of too many better ways to start my day.
 
The back door glides open with relative ease. Rin steps outside first, and I join her, closing the door behind me. The morning air is heavy and tepid. With some effort, I grab the swinging bench from our repertoire of patio furniture and drag it so that it appropriately faces our view. I sit down next to Rin and put my arm around her. We sit and listen to the chorus of chirping birds as sights of golden rays peek over the treetops. The heavens slowly shift from a cold black to a bright and cheery azure as silver wisps of feathery smoke rush into the sky, forming patches that block the sun for instants before the light pierces though the gaps and blind us in testament to the world’s beauty. I am uplifted by serene feelings of wonder and peace, and I turn to Rin to watch her watch the world. Her forest eyes sparkle in the light as she looks upon everything before her with reverence. Time has no meaning as her glowing hair dances wildly in the wind. I bring her closer to me. She speaks.
 
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
 
“You have no idea.”
 
We stay like this for what feels like hours until I hear the door behind us slide open. I retrieve my arm from Rin in a fluster and greet our unknown visitor.
 
“Hey?”
 
“Morning, son.”
 
It’s Dad. I stand and turn to him.
 
“Good morning, Dad. Where’s Mom?
 
“Making coffee. Up early this morning, huh?”
 
“Y-yeah. Just watching the sunrise, I guess.”
 
I laugh nervously.
 
“How romantic.”
 
As I begin my heart calming exercises, Rin finally notices the new addition to our party.
 
“Good morning.”
 
She waves, her sleeve hanging in the wind. Dad’s wearing his trademark smirk.
 
“Good morning, Rin! I trust you slept well.”
 
“I did.”
 
“Good, good. I was just about to make some breakfast. Do either of you want anything?”
 
The prospect of breakfast is no more alluring than before.
 
“What time is it?”
 
He checks his watch.
 
“About seven thirty.”
 
“I’ll just have coffee, thanks.”
 
I’m guessing that he doesn’t approve, judging by his frown.
 
“Not with your heart, kiddo.”
 
“A small cup? I’ll water it down with milk.”
 
“Maybe, we’ll wait for your mother to look away first. Rin, anything?”
 
“Orange juice.”
 
“And a straw, right?”
 
“…Yes.”
 
We return inside to the loud buzzing of my mother grinding coffee beans.
 
“Make it a large pot, dear. I’m a bit tired.”
 
Dad gives me the second wink of the weekend.
 
“Didn’t you sleep well, honey?”
 
“Must not have.”
 
I grab Rin’s sleeve and leave my parents for the family room. The television inside appears larger than last time, but for once that would be by Dad’s hand; he’s quite the movie buff. I nosedive into a couch I’ve never met before. The leather is soft and cold to the touch. Rin sits cross legged a few cushions away as I yell towards the kitchen.
 
“Hey, this couch is a keeper!”
 
Dad walks into the room with two cups, carefully setting them on the coffee table. Rin’s has a crazy straw this time, an impractical personal touch, courtesy of Eikichi Nakai.
 
“I think so too, but you never know with her.”
 
He points his thumb over his shoulder like a hitch-hiker.
 
“Our mortgage could be paid in full, you know.”
 
I don’t know whether to laugh with zeal, or obligation. It ends up sounding like a little of both.
 
“So, what are you going to do today?”
 
Rin and I shrug simultaneously.
 
“Sounds good! Just don’t break any laws, you two. I’m unfortunately going to go push some pencils for a while.”
 
“That’s your fault. You could have been a teacher or something.”
 
“You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had. No use dwelling on it now, though.”
 
He throws out his arms as if to say “who cares?”
 
“Take care.”
 
“You too, Dad. Say bye to Mom for me?”
 
“Sure.”
 
He leaves, and I reach for the remote control and switch on the television.
 
“I don’t really watch a lot of TV anymore, do you?”
 
“Cartoons are on channel fifty-seven.”
 
Well hey, all right, we have something to watch.
 
 
We watch on in amusement as some onscreen moron begins ranting about fighting spirit for seventh time this episode. It isn’t too long before our attention is stolen away by a terrible screeching sound. Dad’s voice soon follows.
 
“Hey!”
 
He’s back already?
 
“Dad? Did you forget something?”
 
“I’m home for the day! Your mother has to work late, so I brought home a pizza.”
 
Home from work? I check the time: five-thirty – we spent the entire day watching television. I also recall a few clumsy make-out sessions, but still. Nine hours? Wait a second; forget all of that. Pizza? I’m already halfway to the kitchen.
 
The table is nowhere to be found. Instead, I find a large checkered blanket sprawled across the floor. Dad sits on a corner of the cloth, a rectangular box, plates, and silverware before him.
 
“You two looked like you were having fun last night, so I thought I’d join you.”
 
It’s funny; what seems like a basic act of consideration to him is in my eyes one of the grandest gestures he’s ever made. I drop to the floor and give him the hug he was waiting half of a year for. Rin’s apparently found her way to the kitchen.
 
“How romantic.”
 
She’s very amused with her turn of phrase. She sits down and immediately slides the pile of paper plates towards herself.
 
“I guess I’m worth the good china after all.”
 
Dad’s stupid smile has made its return for the evening. He’s already dishing out slices.
 
“You sure are.”
 
The evening speeds by as we sit on the floor, laugh, and eat pizza. The entire day’s been one huge blur. Before I know it, it’s very late, and both of my parents have made their way to their room. I’m yawning far too often to do nothing about it.
 
“I think it’s time we call it a night.”
 
“What were you calling it before?”
 
I turn the lights off and make my way to my room. Rin follows me in for the second night in a row. I chuckle at her puppy-dog tendencies under my breath.
 
“Heh. Good night, Rin.”
 
“Good night.”
 
Rather than leave for her own bed, she instead climbs into mine.
 
“Uh, Rin?”
 
“What?”
 
“What are you doing?”
 
“I don’t want to sleep alone.”
 
I don’t dwell on her words for very long.
 
“One second.”
 
I step out my own door for Rin’s, lock it, and close it behind me. I’ve jimmied the locks on the doors in this house before. I return to my room and seal my door as well. They won’t get suspicious if we want privacy as individuals. I choke my meds down with ludicrous speed and get into bed. Rin’s body is incredibly warm. Hear breathing is very calm, and she nuzzles her cheek against mine. I can’t think of anything but to reciprocate. We stay like this until sleep carries us away.
 
 
The sun beats down on me with full force as I slowly lift my head to check my bedside clock. Eleven in the morning. My parents are already at work. I gently nudge Rin awake and kiss her on the forehead as she comes to.
 
“Your lips are too cold.”
 
“Maybe your forehead’s too hot.”
 
“We’ll have to test this theory.”
 
She wastes little time, pressing her lips against mine. I move to break the embrace after a while, but Rin persists, leaning into me to make up for the change in distance. I give in, and eventually Rin frees herself from me. She looks satisfied.
 
“Were my lips too cold this time?”
 
“I forgot what we were talking about.”
 
I jump out of bed, ready to seize the day.
 
“Let’s go out, Rin! I know a really great café within walking distance from here.”
 
Rin sits up, curious.
 
“Is this a date?”
 
“We’re already dating, does it matter?”
 
“It determines whether or not you get lucky afterward.”
 
“This is a date.”
 
Rin laughs and closes her eyes, flopping back into bed.
 
“Sucker.”
 
 
Our morning preparation is swift; we’re both showered, dressed, heavily medicated, and out the door by twelve-thirty. The weather is seasonably pleasant. A summer current keeps us cool as we walk hand-in-sleeve down the suburban sidewalk. Perfect rows of trees run next to our path, their shadows casting peculiar patterns over the concrete. After a few blocks, we arrive at the town’s business district. Various shops litter both ends of the street, and ours is just around the corner. A large sign above our heads tells us we’ve reached our destination: Bandwidth Exceeded. We’re here.
 
 
I open the door for Rin and follow her inside. Just as I remembered, it’s amazingly busy in here. Bandwidth always was a popular hangout for kids at my old school. It’s almost the complete opposite of The Shanghai; while I would go there for the peace and quiet, I find myself here for the buzz of people. We wait for a table to open and swoop in like hawks to prey, as is the custom here. I yell to the barista.
 
“Two coffees please! And a straw!”
 
I sit in peace, enjoying the wired atmosphere. Stock recordings of acoustic guitar play over the sound system, filling any breaks in conversation.
 
“So, Rin, what do you think of this place?”
 
“It’s really loud. I can’t hear myself think.”
 
“Is that good, or bad?”
 
“I haven’t decided.”
 
I watch as young man in a green apron takes his time on the way to our table with our drinks. He casually sets them down, fishes into a pocket in his apron, and produces a straw.
 
“It’s 373.”
 
I reach into my pocket, watching as the barista blatantly looks for Rin’s arms. I can understand his lack of tact; I doubt he’s seen many people like her. Come to think of it, I don’t think anyone here has. There are more people looking our way than I might have guessed.
 
“Sir?”
 
I hand him 400, making no quandary over what to do with the remainder. I scan across the room, and every person I lock eyes with has the same reaction: uncomfortably look away, turning to someone else to converse over the new hot topic. They’re treating Rin as if her condition is some sort of stigma; as though she doesn’t belong here. I’m spared from their leers, as my condition isn’t obvious to the public. But I have a condition all the same, and I wonder just how well I really fit in with these people. I look to Rin. She’s enjoying her beverage without care. I want to follow suit, but unfortunately, my ability to drink with peace of mind is obliterated by what I fear is a familiar face walking up to our table.
 
“Hisao?”
 
Iwanako.
 
 
I’m overcome with dread. The person that was once the object of my affection has become the last one I would ever want to see. I haven’t seen her since she left my room in the hospital, but she hasn’t changed at all. Flowing black hair and eyes that could melt glaciers. Her letter told me that she thought it might be best if we never met again, yet here she is in front of me.
 
“Hello, Iwanako.”
 
“Hisao! It is you! You’re out of the hospital! How are you feeling? Oh! Your letter! Listen – I meant to write back, but-”
 
“It’s okay. Really. And I’m fine. Great, actually.”
 
Iwanako’s attention is on Rin, who’s sitting back in her chair and admiring décor of the café.
 
“Who’s your friend?”
 
Her voice is slightly aggressive. Could she be jealous?
 
“This is Rin. I met her at…”
 
This is the first time I’ve spoken with someone from my past about my new life. I feel somewhat ashamed that I left everyone behind me.
 
“…Yamaku, my new school.”
 
“Yamaku? Is that a school for people like you?”
 
People like me?
 
“Oh my gosh, no! That’s not what I mean! Sorry! It’s just that everyone wondered what happened to you and we assumed you went somewhere for your condition.”
 
She sounds sincere.
 
“It’s okay. I get what you meant. Yeah, it’s a school for kids who need a little help getting their lives together.”
 
“Is Rin your… girlfriend?”
 
Iwanako’s looking at me like she did when we were together in that snowy field. I don’t understand; I thought she had no interest in me anymore. While I’ve spent many nights wondering about what could have been, I’m over her now. I have Rin.
 
“Yeah. Rin’s my girlfriend.”
 
The two women at my table make eye contact for the first time. Rin looks uneasy, but shortly into their clash, Iwanako breaks into a pleasant smile.
 
“You’re a lucky girl, Rin. You know, I used to have a pretty big crush on Hisao.”
 
My cheeks are more flushed with every word. Iwanako turns back to me.
 
“You look so much happier now. I’m glad.”
 
“I was a wreck for a while, but Rin saved me from a lot of personal demons. I’m really grateful to her for that.”
 
I’m not the only one blushing now.
 
“I was pretty bad too, Hisao.”
 
The tension around us has slowly evaporated, and we spend the next half-hour talking about this and that, until Iwanako gets a phone call. Her new boyfriend. I guess she’s really moved on after all. Rin and I make our goodbyes and move towards the door.
 
“Hisao, wait!”
 
Iwanako’s put her phone down.
 
“I’m – I’m really happy for you. The way you and Rin look at each other, it’s obvious that you were made to be. That’s what I think, anyway.”
 
Made to be, huh?
 
That makes me smile. She returns the gesture.
 
“I’ll see you around, Iwanako.”
 
“Yeah. I hope so.”
 
 
I walk down the street with a spring in my step. I don’t want this day to end so soon.
 
“There’s a park nearby. Feeling up to it?”
 
Rin nods. I imagine she’s more at home in nature than a busy coffee shop.
 
 
“That one looks like a candy cane.”
 
“Mmhmm. That one there’s a flamingo bursting into flames.”
 
“What? I don’t see it.”
 
“Right there.”
 
A toe points into the sky.
 
“There’s the explosion, and there’s the legs sticking out.”
 
“I guess? It looks more like a balloon to me.”
 
“It’s not a balloon. It’s a flamingo. Look at that one over there. That’s clearly an alligator with a monocle.”
 
“That’s a classy alligator. I bet he can get any girl he wants.”
 
The fresh cut grass tickles the back of my neck, the scent invading my nostrils. A squirrel cautiously scales a tree with its prize, climbing into a knothole and out of sight. I allow myself to be enveloped by nature, closing my eyes. I hear the laughter of children playing tag not too far away. I listen for a while, enjoying the sounds of their game.
 
“Tag! You’re it!”
 
“Nuh-uh!”
 
“Yeah-huh! I got you!”
 
“No way! I’m telling!”
 
“No fair!”
 
“Is so!”
 
“Hey, look over there!”
 
“What?”
 
“What is it?”
 
“That girl, she doesn’t have any arms!”
 
My harmony with the universe couldn’t last that long, I suppose. The ignorance of children can be cruel.
 
“What? Weird!”
 
“How do you think that happened?”
 
“Maybe she was in an accident!”
 
Neutrality gradually turns to anger.
 
“I’m gonna go find out!”
 
I sit up, looking in every direction for the voice behind my irritation. A young boy, no older than six makes his way toward us. I look at him in contempt, but he’s either oblivious, or very brave. He stops a few feet away from Rin and wastes little time.
 
“Hey, Lady! How come you don’t have any arms? What’s wrong with you?”
 
My rage is building to a boiling point, but Rin doesn’t seem to mind. She approaches this small child and crouches down, leveling her head to his.
 
“What’s your name?”
 
Her tone has a mother-like quality to it. He answers timidly.
 
“Murai.”
 
“Why is your name Murai?”
 
He looks perplexed.
 
“I dunno, lady. It’s my name.”
 
“You were born with it.”
 
“Yeah. So what?”
 
“It’s part of who you are. You wouldn’t be you without your name.”
 
“I guess so, lady.”
 
“I don’t know why I don’t have arms. But it’s part of who I am, too. I wouldn’t be me if I had arms.”
 
She looks off to the side.
 
“Or maybe I would, but I wouldn’t be able to notice.”
 
Her words evoke the same realization in me that she must have had years ago: we belong in this world because we are. We exist. There’s no need for further justification than this.
 
“I think I get it. Sorry I was laughing at you, lady.”
 
“Don’t worry about it.”
 
Murai flashes an innocent smile and runs off to his friends. I look at Rin with new feelings of admiration.
 
I want to embrace her.
 
No. More than that.
 
“Rin, do you want to get out of here?”
 
She interprets my question as intended.
 
“All right.”
 
We couldn’t get home fast enough. The front door slams behind us. We’re in my room seconds later. Rin took the lead this morning, but it’s my turn now.
 
I place my hands on the small of her back and pull her onto the bed with me. My right hand finds its way to the nape of her neck; my lips meet with hers, our legs interlock.
 
“Hisao.”
 
I take my cue, pulling off her shirt before removing my own. I hold her closer to me than before, our skin shivering with direct contact. I kiss her on her cheek, and she presses her face into me. Her neck next, and she continues to caress me best she can. She follows me around her body, countering my every move with a loving touch of her own. When we’re together like this, it’s almost like she throws her whole self to passion. An artist through and through.
 
There’s a noise downstairs. The front door.
 
“Hisao? Rin? Are you here?”
 
My mother.
 
“Shit. She must be home early.”
 
Rin looks understandably disappointed. I throw our shirts on in a hurry and we try our best to walk downstairs as inconspicuously as possible. I know that we’ve failed, as my mother stands at the foot of the stairs. She could clearly see that we came from the same room. I do my best to keep collected.
 
“Hi, Mom! Home from work early?”
 
She’s speechless, and just looks at us. First at me, then at Rin. I think she must be aware of how awkward this is for everyone. She feigns ignorance.
 
“Yes. I thought I would get home before your father and start dinner.”
 
“Sounds good.”
 
My mother turns and walks into the kitchen. I feel as though my legs couldn’t take me anywhere even if I knew where to go. I sit on the stairs, my fingers dig through my hair.
 
“That – was a disaster.”
 
I stay here on the stairs for what seems like hours, until Dad comes home and dinner starts shortly after.
 
Members of the Nakai family are notorious for their ability to eat a meal without speaking. We’re able to simply relish well prepared food without the need for anything else. This lulled dinner, however, is excruciating; I can’t stand it. There’s no way to engage anybody in any way. Rin is just as embarrassed as I; Dad is uninformed; and well, my mother is…
 
She keeps shooting the both of us these horrible looks, as if we’ve savagely wounded her. She knows what the two of were doing together, but I don’t think she knows the exact nature of our relationship. I was hoping to avoid this, but it seems like the best thing now would be to clear the air.
 
I clear my throat, immediately cursing myself in my mind. I’ve yet to choose my words.
 
“Mom. Dad.”
 
Dad looks to me with honest curiosity. My mother – not so much. I take a deep breath and begin.
 
“Rin and I are more than just friends. We’ve been dating for a few weeks now.”
 
Blunt, but effective. Dad just smiles; I think he knew from the beginning. My mother stares at her food. I can’t measure her reaction.
 
“Mom, is something wrong?”
 
She looks up from her food, but won’t make eye contact.
 
“No. Nothing. It’s fine. Really.”
 
“You sure you’re okay?”
 
”Yes. You’re an adult. You can date who you like.”
 
Wait. What does that mean? I can date anyone I like? Does that mean she doesn’t approve?
 
“There’s something bothering you.”
 
“It’s fine, Hisao! Leave it alone!”
 
She tries to escape into her food. Rin just stares at her own. I look around the room fervently and finally rest my gaze on Dad, urging him to say something, anything. But he can’t come up with the words, and I conclude that I’ll have to.
 
“Mom.  You have a problem with what I just said. I want to know why. I deserve to know why.”
She spits out the words like the foulest of tastes.
 
“I don’t think she’s right for you.”
 
She’s wanted to say that my entire visit, I know it. Every chance she took to leave the room, every time she avoided conversation; I’m increasingly frustrated.
 
“Right for me? You can’t tell me she’s not right for me! You don’t even know her! You haven’t made a single attempt to get to know her since she got here!”
 
“I’m sorry, Hisao. Let’s just go back to dinner and-“
 
“No way! This isn’t something you can just sweep away and pretend never happened. Can’t you just be happy that I’ve found someone?”
 
“How could I? Look at her!”
 
The room focuses on Rin in an instant. She looks as she’s been hit in the gut. Her eyes go to another place and she retreats into herself, holding her head between her knees. I look back to my mother. My callous and coldhearted mother. She doesn’t look like she’s satisfied with the damage she’s done. She begins again.
 
“We’re eating off the floor, Hisao! Like some kind of barbarian! Are you willing to do this every day? What if she has to go to the bathroom? What then? Do you help her every time? Be honest with yourself, Hisao! She’s a fr-“
 
“A what? Freak?”
 
“Yes! She’s a dirty, disgusting, freak!”
 
Rin’s eyes slam closed – her teeth clenched, her body shut down. I’m stunned. Utterly and completely stunned. For a while there is just stillness. No sound. No motion. Nothing.
 
How… could she…
 
“How could you say that, mom?”
 
I violently thrash my arms into the air, catching the tears rolling from my face.
 
“How could you call her that? You don’t even know her, mom! How could you? Why would you-”
 
Her eyes are on floor.
 
“Look at me!”
 
She does. My rage is building with every second. Before I know it I’m screaming.
 
“How am I any different? I have to live my life differently from everyone else, too!  Am I a freak, mom? Am I a freak?”
 
I drop to my knees, my voice losing strength.
 
“I’m alive, aren’t I?”
 
I place my hand over my chest.
 
“Aren’t we?”
 
I look to Rin. There are tears in her eyes. I’m brought back to despairing thoughts from weeks ago. To make a girl cry is the most despicable thing to do.
 
Even Rin. Especially rin. My mother continues to trample on these laws.
 
“I just… wanted you to be… happy.”
 
“Happy…?”
 
I always knew that Rin was physically different from other people. It was obvious. But I looked past that. It was never even a thought. I was so intrigued by the honesty and beauty of her soul.
 
“What do you know about being happy?”
 
She was human, she wanted the same things as everyone else. I learned it the hard way. I was learning every minute since.
 
“What do you know about anything?”
 
“I was in the hospital for four months. Four god-forsaken months. You sent me away from my life. I had to start over. I had nothing.”
 
Somehow, I make it back to my feet.
 
“But then I met Rin, and none of that mattered. My old friends, the pills, the arrhythmia – I didn’t care about those at all.”
 
“I have never been happier, never been more comfortable, never been more content around anyone else in my entire life.”
 
The words flow from me, a waterfall of hidden truths that I was never aware of.
 
“I love her.”
 
I look to Rin. She raises her head to meet mine. Her eyes are filled with tears, but they have such tender clarity that I’ve never seen before. For a while I just stare, lost in an ocean of green. I go to her and help her stand.
 
“Good night.”
 
I lead her to the stairs and we escape from the rest of the world.
 
The lock to my room clicks, and I slink towards and fall onto my bed. I really don’t know what to do at this point. But Rin does. She buries her head into my chest, and I hold her in my arms. She cries still, but there’s something different about her tears. Something tranquil.
 
“Hisao. Thank you.”
 
“I meant everything. Every word.”
 
I have never been so certain of anything.