I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.  It ended just like that.  It’s barely been an hour since I walked back to my room, but I can already feel some buried emotions resurfacing.  Have I given up on the world again?  I wonder if I’ve gone back to wearing my old grim expression, and more importantly, will I ever meet someone who can remove that expression again?
 
I hear a gentle, almost hesitant knocking on my door.
 
It...It can’t be...She came back...?
 
I jump up and run to the door, swinging it open
 
‘LIL-‘
 
 I find myself standing not in front of Lilly, but in front of a puffy eyed Hanako, cradling a bag in her arms.  Ah.  Of course not.  I scold myself for getting my hopes up.  That was stupid.
 
‘Ah, sorry Hanako, what are you doing here?’
 
I turn around not waiting for an answer and walk into my room, leaving the door open.  I hear her follow me in, and pull the door shut after her.
 
I sit myself down on my bed and gesture towards the chair tucked under my desk.  Hanako puts her bag on the desk, and then sits down on the chair.  What’s in that bag anyway?  Hell, why is she even here?  I open my mouth to ask her, but she’s already fumbling with the catch on the bag.  She pulls out 2 bottles of wine.
 
‘A-Akira gave these to me before she...before they left.’
 
Her voice cracks and she has tears running down her cheeks.  I don’t know how to respond.  I care about Hanako as a friend, and I know exactly how she’s feeling now, but still, we’ve hardly been close since Lilly and I confessed.  Not having a clue what to say so her, I stand up, and make my way to my desk.  I manage to find 2 clean drinking glasses – not wine glasses, but they’ll do.  I unscrew the top off one of the bottles, and fill both glasses up.  I leave one glass on the desk for Hanako, and take the other with me as I move to my bed, back against the hard wall.
 
‘So...what did you want to talk about?’
 
‘O-oh, I just wanted some company r-really...’  She stares down at the floor.  ‘S-sorry for disturbing you, would you l-like me to go?  You can keep a b-bottle if you want.’
 
At this she gets up to leave, but I stand up and put a hand on her shoulder.  She seems surprised at the physical contact.
 
‘It’s fine; honestly, I’d like the company too.’  I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile.  ‘But why don’t you come and sit on the bed, its more comfortable and we can talk easier.’  At this I move back to my old position.
 
‘She looks uneasy at the idea, but eventually comes over, her glass in one hand and the 2 bottles in the other.  She places the bottles down by the bed, and then sits on the bed about an arms length away from me, sitting with her back to the wall.
 
We both finish our first glass in silence, then I lean over the side of the bed to find the bottle, and fill both glasses again, discarding the empty bottle.  ‘So, when do you leave on your tour of Japan?’ I ask her, smiling to try and lighten the mood.
 
‘W-well...Actually...I told Naomi I’m n-not going to go.  I know I w-would just stop them from having f-fun, and I don’t really want to g-go anyway.’
 
I almost choke on my drink.  She seemed to be coming along so well.  Has Lilly’s leaving really affected her that badly?  Stupid question.  There’s a long silence, and we both work our way through our glasses of alcohol.  It must be my inexperience, but I’m feeling a little light headed already.  That doesn’t stop me groping over the side of the bed for the other bottle.  Getting drunk seems like a good idea, and I guess Hanako thinks the same, as she doesn’t stop me from filling her glass for a third time.  When I look up at her, her cheeks are starting to go red.  I sigh.
 
‘Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think Lilly would want you to hold back because of her.  She’d want you to go out and have fun.’
 
Hanako visibly flinches at that, but seems to pull herself together.
 
‘It...It’s not entirely because of that...I like Naomi and the other girls at the Newspaper, b-but you’re the only person who un-understand me p-properly now Hisao.  If I leave to go on this trip, w-what if you forgot about me?  What if I come b-back and you’re not here waiting for me?’
 
Tears are streaming down her cheeks now.  I move closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder, and then I turn to look into her eyes.
 
‘Hanako, I made a promise, to Lilly, and to you.  I’ll always be here for you, you’ve got my phone number, you can call me anytime.’
 
She wipes her eyes with her sleeve, and then looks up to meet my gaze.
 
‘B-but, I’m so useless!  I know one d-day you’ll leave me!  Everyone does! Even...even Lilly.’ Her voice is barely audible at the end.
 
‘That’s not true Hanako, I’ll always have time to talk to you, I swear it.  And anyway, Lilly-‘
 
I can’t finish my sentence, as Hanako moves her head towards me and touches her moist lips to mine.  I can feel the tears on her cheeks, and the slight trembling of her lips.  She suddenly pulls back, looking horrified upon seeing my expression.  She must have misread my confusion as anger.
 
‘I’m s-so sorry!  I’ll go!’
 
She goes to get up again, but I reach out towards her, putting my hands on her waist and pulling her back.  Lilly’s gone forever, isn’t she?  We split up, I’m sure of that.  I still love her, but I already know what we once had we can never have again.  All those memories.  We’ll never have a chance to make more.  Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s gone to my head, but maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.  We both feel pretty down right now, and friends comfort each other in this way, don’t they?
 
I make my mind up and turn back to Hanako.  Gently holding her chin in my hand, I move her head so she’s looking at me.  Then I move back in to continue our kiss.  I can see a kind of recognition in her eyes, does she really want this?  Well, she initiated it.
 
We kiss deeply, Hanako not quite sure what she should be doing.  It occurs to me that this is probably her first time kissing somebody.  I put my hands on her shoulders and push her down onto the bed.
 
We lay together under the covers, not quite touching.  All of our clothes are on a pile on the floor next to the bed.  Hanako is looking at me with a strange expression on her face.  I hope it wasn’t too painful for her, being her first time and all.  I smile at her, and she gives me a smile that looks forced in return.  After the alcohol and the sex, I feel pretty sleepy.
 
‘H-Hisao?  You won’t forget a-about me now, w-will you?’
 
‘Of course not, Hanako.  You’re a special friend to me.  Good night.’
 
Before I shut my eyes, I see a tear running down her cheek, and hear a light sob.