>Elementary school
>New foreign girl from bosnia comes to our class
>Bit of a tomboy, but really, really pretty, and dat bilingual accent
>She is instantly accepted in to the popular group of kids
>Don't get to know her because I'm unpopular, always alone at recess, last one to get picked for group stuff, etc.
>One day, she comes over and asks what I'm doing
>Tell her I'm playing pokemon
>She tells me charmander is her favorite and we talk about stuff the rest of the recess
>She starts pairing up with me for stuff, and we become friends
>Popular tough guy with crush on her & his gang of goons corner me in the bathroom one day
>"You know ___ is only friends with you because she felt sorry for you, right?"
>Of course I know that. It still doesn't mean that it doesn't make me happy.
>They don't know what to say so they throw my library book in the toilet and punch me in the stomach a few times before telling me to stay away from her
>Try and distance myself from her because Im afriad of the bullies
>She gets upset and takes me to the far edge of the field where hardly anyone goes
>Asks me why I hate her and if it's her fault
>She starts to cry
>I tell her it's not her fault, I'm just a coward, and then I start to cry as well
>We both sit there crying for the rest of recess until the bell rings
>We hold hands on our way back, she asks if we're friends still
>Tell her yeah, only if she's fine being friends with a person like me
>She gives me a quick hug before running off to the popular kids
>Life goes on, she invites me to her birthday party, gives me a gift on christmas, etc.
>Next year we're in the same class again, and still get along great
>Still harassed by bullies about being her friend, but don't give a fuck
>Skip to last day of elementary school
>Kids get to go to the local amusement park as a field trip
>We hang out all day, go on the same rides, etc.
>Before we leave she pulls me off to the side and kisses me on the cheek, and tells me to call her over the summer so we could hang out
>We do hang out a few times over the break, but never do anything interesting
>Middle school starts, we only have two classes together because I've been placed in the honors classes
>I still have trouble making friends, she's even more popular now
>We start growing apart, but she still finds the time to talk with me and always partners with me in the classes we share
>Second semster starts
>We only have one class together
>Overhear her friends in the hallway one day, telling her to stop hanging out with me
>She tells them I'm a really nice person, and they should give me a chance
>Really happy she said that, realise that I love her
>Still, we drift farther apart, but I still want to tell her how I feel and was going to do it on valentines (stupid as fuck, I know.) which is two weeks away
>Get an offer to go to another school with better advanced classes the next day
>Tell mom I don't wanna go
>She tells me that I still have time to think about it, and should really consider it
>Valentines day
>Made her a special card and everything
>Going to give it to her before our class starts and tell her how I feel
>Lunch time, really popular and handsome guy gets on top of one of the lunch tables and confesses to her right there for everyone to see
>She accepts
>Well there goes my heart shattering
>Throw food and card away and go sit in the tech box on the second floor in the audotorium for the rest of the day because I had a key (Was part of the A/V club, we would control the mics and lighting for assemblys from it in there)
>End of the day, depressed as fuck and waiting for the bus
>It arrives and I'm siting alone
>She gets on and sits next to me
>Can't even look at her, so I stare out the window
>"So...Uh...Did you see what happened at lunch today?"
>Yeah, I did. Congratulations, I guess...
>"Oh...Okay...You weren't in class so I got worried..."
>Yeah...
>We sit there for a few minutes saying nothing, and I'm trying my best not to cry like a little girl
>"Well...Bye..."
>She gets up and goes to sit in the back of the bus with her friends
>Stare out the window the whole way homem, it's started to rain
>Go to get off the bus
>Valentines card on the seat
>Open it
>"Thanks for being my best friend, anon. You're really special to me."
>Heart is breaking even more, can't hold back tears
>Covered in rain once I step off the bus, luckily, it's hiding my tears
>Look up at bus
>She's looking down at me
>She waves
>I turn around and run
>Run home crying
>Mom gets home from work
>Tell her I'll go to that new school, and transfer the next day
>Never see her again
>Never said goodbye
>I gain weight and am depressed all the time
>Skip ahead 5 years
>New friend request on myspace
>It's from her
>Accept
>She mails me the next day
>"Why didn't you say goodbye, anon? I had to find out from the teacher that you transferred. Why didn't you tell me?"
>I told you once before that I'm a coward. There was so much I wanted to tell you back then, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Like what?"
>That I loved you, and you were my best friend. I never planned on transferring schools, because I wanted to be with you, and I was going to tell you how I felt on valentines, but someone else beat me to it.
>"Oh."
 
 
She never said anything after that, and we never talked again. It's funny how something silly like that could still affect me today, but it has. I don't get close to anyone because I'm afraid of losing them, I've got very low self confidence, and I'm depressed all the time. I hope you guys can find your happiness, /ksg/.