"Cake is the right of all sentient beings," Optimus Prime declared, as he took a seat across from the pink-haired girl with drill hair.
 
Misha looked up at her thirty-foot tall opponent with a mix of trepidation and determination. She knew that the honor of all humankind was on the line here. She was, after all, a Mikado, and Mikados don't back down from any contest.
 
Even if it's a cake-eating contest against the leader of the Autobots.
 
"Ready. . . go!" the man in the black suit said, and the contest was on.
 
Optimus Prime began by grabbing the biggest cake he could and shoving it under his steel grill-mask, inserting the cake into his organic substance processor, the nanomachines that made up his body breaking the organics down into energy and waste material. Misha, in contrast, started off with a big slice of white cake, using her fork to break it down into big pieces and chewing rapidly before swallowing.
 
She took a small, measured sip of milk, just enough to help her wash down her cake without filling up her stomach unnecessarily, then picked up her fork and grabbed the second half of the cake.
 
"I still don't see how the heck that Misha can hope to win this," Hisao said to Shizune doubtfully. "I mean, Optimus Prime is a giant robot. Misha's a human being. How is this a contest?"
 
Shizune rolled her eyes and made the JSL symbol for "Dumbass." What the hell was this asshole talking about? Didn't he know she couldn't hear?
 
Misha finished off her first cake and wiped off her mouth daintily, looking over at the big robot. As she had suspected, Optimus Prime wasn't nearly as fast as she was. Although he could pick up an entire cake at a time and place it into his organic substance processor, it took him longer to break it down than it did her to wolf down a piece of cake. She grinned in triumph as she went for the second cake: the lemon cake, ready for round two.
 
She didn't know if she could do it, but she was ready to try.
 
Misha felt herself flagging as she finished off the sweet and tart pastry. Insulin shock was starting to weigh down her limbs, and the concentration of pure sugar was starting to make her teeth hurt. Optimus Prime had already started on his second cake, however, and he was "chewing" assiduously, with great decorum and gravitas, as befitted the leader of the Decepticons.
 
However, Misha was ready for him. She had planned her attack carefully, saving her favorite of the cakes for last, when she knew she would be most weary and most tired. She would need all her love, all of her desire to finish this third cake.
 
She pulled the cover off the third dish and let herself salivate as she beheld the delicious red velvet cake. The smooth, silky cream cheese frosting. The light dusting of dark red cake crumbs. The scent of chocolate wafting up from the delicious sweet. . .
 
The sudden scent of charcoal and the sensation of heat as a violet laser bolt blasted the cake to smithereens.
 
"MEGATRON!" Optimus Prime shouted. "YOU GO TOO FAR!"
 
"THE MIGHTY OPTIMUS PRIME, REDUCED TO A SIDESHOW ATTRACTION?" Megatron roared. "I SHOULD KILL YOU SIMPLY TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY!"
 
"THEN LET US END THIS!" Prime roared. "ONE SHALL STAND, AND ONE SHALL FALL!"
 
"PRIME!" the Decepticon leader shouted. "WHY THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE SO RECKLESSLY?"
 
"That's a question you should ask. . ."
 
Optimus Prime's words were interrupted as the table was blasted into smithereens by a killing aura so powerful that it seemed to shimmer in the cold air.
 
Misha stood in the wreckage of the cake and the tables, her drills glowing bright pink, her eyes glimmering with a powerful mystic aura. "THAT!" she screamed. "WAS! MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CAAAAAAKE!"
 
There was a loud mechanical sound, and suddenly, Misha's hair transformed into a skin-tight pink power suit that snugly hugged her body. She blasted forth from the stage in an incandescent flare of brilliant pink energy, her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the fallen.
 
"FOOLISH HUMAN! I'LL SMASH YOU WITH MY BARE--"
 
Megatron's words were interrupted by Misha's powerful bare-handed punch, blasting through his thimble-shaped helmet and cracking the Decepticon leader's silver chassis.
 
"FUCK YOU!" Misha screamed. "I! WAS! SAVING! THAT! CAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!"
 
"PLEASE! MISHA! SHOW MERCY!" Megatron begged.
 
"EAT ME RAW, YOU OVERGROWN TOASTER!" Misha howled.
 
She raised her hand into the air, calling upon the image of the Primordial Drill, from which all other drills are derived. "MY CAKE IS DEAD! BUT HERE, IN MY HEART, AND IN MY TASTEBUDS, HE STILL LIVES! I'M NOT SHIINA MIKADO, AND I'M NOT MICCHAN! I AM MISHA! MISHA THE EATER! IF YOU'RE UP AGAINST THE HEAVENS, EAT YOUR WAY THROUGH! THAT'S THE STUDENT COUNCIL WAY! THAT'S TENGEN TOPPA! THAT'S SHIINA MIKADO!"
 
"YOU FOOL!" Megatron shouted, as his silver armor peeled away, revealing his secret identity as the Anti-Spiral King. "NOW DIE TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF THE DECEPTICONS!"
 
He blasted at Misha with his powerful shoulder cannon, only to have the blow stopped by a harmonic blade vibrating at ten thousand kilohertz. "Emi!" Misha shouted.
 
Her fellow cyber-warrior appeared on the stage next to her, the harmonic blades of her Progressive Legs vibrating with the energy from its Etheric Circuit Reactors. "I'm here to fight alongside you, Misha!" Emi said. "For truth, for justice, and for cake!"
 
"I'm here too," a dull, taciturn voice said. Rin strode casually onto the stage, her Battle Arms folding into place around the stumps of her arms: The Gatling Laser in her left cyber-arm spinning up to firing speed, while her right hand's Ripper Claw was held in a low, loose fist.
 
"What in the name of the Allspark is going on here?" Optimus Prime wondered.
 
"TRIAD STRIKE, GO!" Misha shouted.
 
The three girls leaped from the stage and raced towards Megatron, their cybernetics flashing brightly as the internal ether reactors purged their photon banks into the night sky.
 
"What's going on?" Kenji asked, as he returned from the bathroom, wiping his hands.
 
"Misha, Emi, and Rin are fighting Megatron," Hisao said.
 
"Oh. Again? Must be Wednesday."