When Rarity came to, she felt she was lying on something softer than the library's wooden floor. As her vision slowly cleared up, she could make out the ceiling, and then the rest of her surroundings. She was lying on Twilight's bed, and Twilight was sitting in a chair beside her, a worried expression on her face.
        "Oh, thank Celestia you're awake!" Twilight proclaimed, her worried expression relaxing significantly. "Are you feeling better?"
        Rarity slowly moved her hooves and rubbed at her head. "Yes, I… I think so." She looked at Twilight and blinked a few times to get her eyes to focus. "Wh–What happened?"
        Twilight cleared her throat. "Well, you'd been feeling pretty sick, presumably from stress, and you looked pretty pallid and emaciated. When I told you the magic I found in your uterus was draconequine, you just… collapsed."l
        All at once, the day's events came flooding back to her. The strange things happening, her jog, the the surge of magic, the scan, her shower, everything. She recalled the pregnancy test, and being told the foal was draconequine. "Yes, I… I remember. Have you figured anything else out yet?"
        Twilight shook her head. "You've only been out for two or three minutes; I wanted to make sure you were okay. I think we should summon Discord to see if he has an explanation."
        Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't we need the Elements to do that?"
        Twilight nodded.
        Rarity cleared her throat. "I'd rather keep this discrete for the moment." She sighed. "Besides…" she added, moving a hoof to her now-flat stomach, "I think I have an rough guess as to what that explanation would be…"
        "In that case, I guess we'll have to contact him through the mail. Given where he lives, that method is pretty slow and unreliable."
        "Right, I figured." Rarity sighed. "Are you sure you can't cast the spell yourself? I mean, you're a pretty magical unicorn in your own right."
        Twilight shook her head. "Not even an alicorn could cast that spell with the unaided horn. Discord is a very powerful being, so summoning him requires an enormous amount of magic.
        "Can't you at least try?" Rarity pleaded. "You can't know for sure unless you try!"
        "But I can! I can calculate…" Twilight sighed. "You know what? It's not worth arguing about; it'll be quicker to just show you it not working." She closed her eyes, lit her horn, and pointed it away from the bed, towards an empty spot in the room.
        However, to her surprise, she suddenly felt an intense, almost painful surge of magic in her horn, a sensation similar to facing into a strong wind and trying to breathe. Soon, she felt the now-familiar sensation of being magically lifted off the ground, hovering quite near the ceiling in the enclosed space.
        Then everything went white, and her eyelids were forced open, though she still couldn't see anything through the blinding white light that flooded her vision. Only a few seconds later, the overwhelming levels of magic coursing through her came to a climax and burst forth from her horn like the baking soda and vinegar rocket she'd made in elementary school. Except instead of foam, a beam of rainbow light erupted from her horn, shooting towards the center of the room and swirled around in a large vortex taking up a large portion of the room and tossing a few papers about.
        Twilight fell to the floor when spell was complete and just barely managed to land on her hooves. Blinking and rubbing her eyes, she groaned. "That spell isn't normally enough to cause ocular luminescence…"
        Rarity watched in amazement as the prismatic maelstrom subsided, revealing that Twilight had indeed singlehornedly summoned Discord. He was lounging back in a recliner and reading a newspaper upside down, a pipe in his mouth and a mug of coffee in a cup holder in the armrest. He blew bubbles with the pipe, which were miscellaneous colors and made random sounds when they popped, from dings to quacks to burps to squelches.
        Discord looked up from his paper and smiled. "Well, if it isn't my two favorite unicorns!" He lowered the paper to his lap, revealing a tie decorated with various sports balls. "How may I be of assistance to you lovely mares?"
        "I'm p…p–pregnant!" Rarity choked out, glaring accusatorially at Discord.
        Discord grinned. "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." There was the sound of a rimshot, but it didn't seem to come from anywhere in particular.
        Rarity's eyes went wide. "So you *admit* it!" she exclaimed. "You're the one who impregnated me, aren't you?"
        Discord chuckled and took a sip from his mug, which said "#1/0 DAD".
        "Well?" Rarity demanded. "Are you?"
        Discord set his mug back in its cup holder. "Oh, I thought that was a rhetorical question. You must know the answer to that if you went to the trouble of summoning me here." He turned to Twilight and grinned. "By the way, Twilight, don't feel too proud of yourself for that; I gave your magic a little 'boost' to help with my dramatic entrance."
        Twilight rolled her eyes.
        "But… why?" Rarity asked, bewildered. "Why did you do it? Why me?"
        "Why do I do anything?" he answered with a question. "Because it's funny; that's why."
        "You think this is *funny*‽" she barked at him.
        "Well, you decided to exclude me from your little party because your ancestors avoided stallions to avoid getting pregnant. As a result, you ended up getting pregnant. It's ironic… or something." He chuckled.
        Rarity sighed. "Why *me*, then?"
        Discord shrugged. "You were in heat." He grinned. "But I'm glad Junior is inheriting your genes. I'm sure our progeny will be quite easy on the eyes.
        Rarity rolled her eyes. "I'm flattered." Her tone was dripping with sarcasm. "But fine, the 'why' is because you have a sick sense of humor. I guess that leaves the question of *how* you impregnated me."
        "Have you met me?" he asked with a grin. "There's very little I can't do. I could probably impregnate a spoon if I wanted to."
        Rarity shook her head. "No, I mean… how? What method?"
        "Oh, the usual way. I planted my seed last night."
        A look of shock and disgust dawned on Rarity's face."
        "Um, actually, if you're talking about semen, the closest analogy would be pollen, not seed. You see, pollen is the male gamete in a plant, produced by the stamen. Seeds are actually embryon–"
        Rarity cleared her throat and glared daggers at her friend, interrupting her. "Did this *really* seem like an appropriate time for a biology lesson‽"
        Twilight blushed. "Sorry."
        Rarity looked back to Discord. "Y–You mean you… *mated* with me? You bred me my sleep‽" She was clearly outraged.
        Discord just nodded and giggled.
        "You… You can't do that!" Rarity protested.
        "Oh?" Discord asked. "Because I think I just did."
        Rarity growled. "That's not what I meant, and you know it!" she said, exasperated. "I mean you're supposed to ask a mare's permission first before breeding her! It's the law!"
        "What are you talking about?" Discord asked. "I've seen plenty of mares and fillies get mounted by stallions and colts who didn't even give them any warning!"
        Rarity rolled her eyes. "That's different!" she objected. "With all the pheromones in the air, they're not thinking straight, just acting on instinct. They can't help it, and they stick with the mares they claim to provide for them." Her tone grew more aggressive. "You just told me that you planned this *ahead of time*, that did this *on purpose*, as… as some sort of sick *prank*!"
        Discord looked to Twilight, as if pleading for her to come to his defense.
        Twilight sighed. "Rarity's right; estral feralization is different. What you did was clearly premeditated and done of your own free will, which makes it rape. Rape is bad."
        Discord lowered his eyebrows. "So I didn't ask permission. Big deal, Rainbow Dash didn't ask for permission when she put butter in your slippers. I mean, not having permission is sort of what makes it a prank in the first place."
        "This is a little more of a big deal than a pair of ruined slippers!" she objected. "Twilight said your little chaos spawn could make me *explode*!"
        "Oh, like I'd let *that* happen!" He rolled his eyes. "I know better than to let you be killed.  Or at least, let you get killed permanently."
        "But apparently you didn't know better than to not *rape* me in my *sleep*!"
        Discord rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Fluttershy didn't mention that particular rule. I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem reasonable for you ponies to vilify me for breaking a rule you conveniently neglected to tell me about!"
        "Oh, poor Discord, everypony's picking on him! You crossed a line this time, and if you think being 'vilif–"
        Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat and stepped between the quarreling parents. "You know what? You two could yell at each other all day and not get anywhere. Let's go see Fluttershy; maybe she can help straighten things out."
        Rarity and Discord started to object, but Twilight's tone was authoritative enough for her to get then to falter. After stammering for a moment, they both sighed and stopped staring at each other, turning to face Twilight.
        Rarity spoke first. "Alright, fine. Let's go."