A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
 
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
 
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
 
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
 
The father blows a whistle and the rest of the family comes marching in, it's his wife, two teenage sons, one of them red headed, two teenage daughters and a dog. The whole family is dressed in tracksuits, and the wife carries in a boombox. The wife presses play on the boombox and places it on the ground. 'Ride Of The Valkyries' plays and as soon as it gets to the harmonized part, every family member tears off their tracksuit, the men are completely naked except for nipple tassels, and the girls the same except they have harnesses over their crotches, and the wife who is wearing a sort of latex drill sergeant's outfit, except with assless latex chaps over the legs, and just the harness over her crotch, and a nametag saying 'Sodomy' on her left breast. The wife orders everyone to their battle stations, the women stand in a line of three, as do the men, about ten feet in front of the women, bent over.
 
The wife cries 'AFFIX BAYONETTES!' and the girls all attach 12 inch dildos to their harnesses, sans lubricant. They wait another 12 measures to the song, preparing themselves mentally, as every time you are ordered to affix bayonets, things are not going to be pretty.
 
The wife finally orders a charge, and as they get within 3 feet of the men, the father screams "Open Fire!" and all 3 men let loose with horrific diarrhea. I mean taco bell and nothing but taco bell for a month diarrhea. The girls slam the dildos home hard up the men's rectums and vomit all over their backs as a reaction to the neon green fecal matter all over them at this point. The men piss all over the floor as a reaction to the dildos penetrating with such impact given from 10 feet of acceleration room. The men are knocked down by the brutal force, and the women give them Cleveland Steamers and roll them around.
 
This goes on and they exchange various sexual positions, and they're humping and pumping and shitting and fisting and pissing and fucking and coming and rolling around on the floor until they're just completely soaked in blood, vomit, puke, cum, piss and shit, mainly shit, and the man gets up, but the wife just joins in a 3some with one of the other two couples. The man takes his pecker and draws swastikas on the backs of all the other people in the party except the red headed son, he writes 'Porch Monkey 4 Life' on his back, apparently quite a Kevin Smith fan, and starts flicking the shit and piss and puke and cum and blood off his pecker all over his family's faces as he forces them to do push ups. Only his wife is spared, he has her do push ups with her mouth over his genitals.
 
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
 
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"