>In the Palace of the Abraxo Queen
I trotted through the corridors of my glorious Palace, a spring in my step and a smile on my face. My coat and mane shone in the light, the result of many long hours in the Royal Bathhouse. World domination starts with cleanliness, and with a body this clean, I could easily crown myself Supreme Overmare of the Wasteland. I ran a hoof through my mane, marveling my handiwork. A goddess must look her best, after all.
The sound of glass breaking broke my reverie. I looked to see a window shattered by a brick stained with a strange fluid. I gingerly picked it up, wincing at the mark it left on the floor. Someone had the audacity to damage my property, but who? Bringing the brick to my snout, I sniffed it.
“Carrots…”
A guard burst in, out of breath and soaked with the same carroty liquid. “My queen!” he rasped, “She is at the gates!” Without a moment to spare, I bolted to the wall overlooking the gates. There she was, ranting like a raider high on Rage and Dash. A glass pony containing a veritable geyser of the carroty cola, with a wild brown mane. Beside her were several crates full of chilled bottles of soda. She spotted me and howled, her eyes ablaze with fury.
“You show yourself at last, ‘Queen of Abraxo!’” she cackled, grabbing two bottles from a crate. “Now hear this, you sniveling toad! I, the Great General of Sparkle~Cola, hereby declare war on your insignificant little ‘kingdom’! Soon you will drown in the refreshing carroty goodness of Sparkle~Cola! DROWN, I SAY!” At that, she hurled a bottle at me, smashing on my face and splashing me with the blasphemous cola.
Celestia splash my snatch with a solar flare!
“Very well then, General!” I shouted back, “The Kingdom of Abraxo accepts your challenge. We will purge your taint from this land until nothing remains!” I grabbed the nearest object I could find to throw back at her. A toaster. With all my godlike might, I flung it at her, striking her in the head with a resounding crack. She staggered to her hooves, her wicked grin unchanged by the toaster assault. “We must be off now! Troops! Fall back!” At that, she started loading the crates onto a wagon and prepared to retreat.
The Kingdom of Abraxo was going to war.