It wasn't that she didn't fit in at art school.
 
In fact, Rin had more friends there than she ever would have at Yamaku. It wasn't that she was having problems with her art; her paintings seemed to flow more and more easily from her toes every day.
 
Every day she woke up; she went to classes and learned words to describe things that she would forget later that day. She went to the studio and painted until the sun was gone and her toes were sore. When asked how she was doing, she would simply state that she was. No adjectives, just the words "I am." It puzzled her friends and professors, but they'd simply laugh and pat her on the shoulder. Rin was just being Rin.
 
It wasn't until late in the night, when her small frame would fall almost as if she had fainted onto her bed, that anyone might notice anything amiss.
 
It's here, on this bed, that Rin allowed herself to feel.
 
"What's the word," she muttered to the cold air between herself and the ceiling, "For being unhappy even when there's no reason to be?"
 
The air, of course, did not answer, and Rin sighed. You're no help at all, she thought. Rolling onto her back, she sat up, small shoulders slumped almost as if she was sleepwalking. She felt this urge to go search for something, but she didn't know what. What could she want? Was she hungry? She concentrated for a few minutes on her stomach before determining that this was not the case. The nearly empty bottle of water near her bed proved that she couldn't be thirsty. Her feet seemed to be itching to move, though, and so she stood and decided to go for a walk.
 
Rin glanced down and realized that her shirt was still unbuttoned from when her roommate, Saya had helped her undress. She looked at the other girl's sleeping form across the room. Should she wake her? She shifted from foot to foot for a moment, uncertain as to whether or not she should just go outside shirtless. Eventually she sighed and plopped back down on the bed, staring out the window at the wispy clouds making their way across the moon.
 
"What's wrong?" she asked herself. Herself refused to answer. She frowned.
 
Deciding staying up any later will only lead to more troublesome questions, Rin turned over onto her side and tried to fall asleep. A train went by the room. She listened to the sound of the wheels bumping against the tracks as she drifted off.
 
Thump. Thump thump. Thump. Thump thump thump. Thump.
 
Warmth pressing against her. Thump thump. A breeze caresses her cheek. Thump. The gentle rise and fall of another pair of lungs moves her ever so slightly. Thump. This irregular beating fills her ears, her mind. Movement, then warm lips against the top of her head. Thump thump.
 
"Hisao!"
 
Rin's heart felt as if it were pounding its way through her sternum. Her head throbbed painfully from where it apparently collided with her roommate's.
 
"Ow, shit Rin. Don't get up so quickly like that," Saya said firmly, still wearing a dazed expression.
 
"You were... watching me sleep," Rin stated in a matter of fact way. Her nerves were still a little rattled, but she maintained her usual placid demeanor. "Do you like watching people sleep?"
 
"What?! No! I'm not some kind of pervert, jeez," the taller, fair-haired girl said, flustered. "I was just seeing if you were okay. You were moving around a lot and calling out for someone"
 
The blonde girl's eyes softened. She sat down on the edge of the bed in an uncomfortable way, unsure of whether or not she might be crossing some line. Even though she'd lived with Rin for a year now, she could never tell what she might be thinking. It bothered her, but Saya didn't want to think about that just then.
 
"Rin, who is Hisao?" she asked carefully.
 
"Hi... sao?" Rin pronounced each syllable slowly. She felt a twinge deep inside of her, like a longing for something she'd never had. "Hm. Sounds like a type of exotic food. Why?"
 
"Um, no reason," Saya said quickly, jumping up from the bed. "Come on, Rin, let's get you ready for school."
 
Rin's eyes followed Saya's quick, birdlike movements around the room for a bit before she stretched and swung her legs out of bed. She felt a nagging at the back of her brain, like someone tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention, but she shooed it away. She had class to get to, after all.
 
-------------------------------------