Prompt: >"Uhhh, mmm... Anon? W-what are you doing after school?"
 
"Uh, nothing, really?"
>O-Oh... So you're free? Like, to hang out, if you'd want?"
"I suppose so."
>"..."
"..."
>"U-Uh... D-D-D-D—"
"Why are you stuttering so much, are you okay?"
>"S-Sorry..."
"Dude, don't be sorry, lol."
>"OH, DUDE, ANON!"
"BRAD!"
>"WANNA HANG MAN, THERE'LL BE TONS O CHICKS!"
"SICK MAN OBBY I'M GOIN, FAM. Oh, uh, sorry Twilight, I gotta go. Mad pussy and all, you know how it is."
>"B-Bluh."
>"HURRY UP ANON OR I'M NOT LEAVIN' ANY FOR YOU!"
"AYE AYE, CAP'N BONEMASTER."
>"A-Anon..."
>Later at the home of SciLight
>"Fucking normies, I fucking hate all of them. I HATE Chads. I HATE Stacies. They'll never know what it's like to feel anything, all they do is just party and fuck all day! Fuck them! They don't actually care about anyone or anything! "OH JUST B URSELF" FUCK. Can't even post here without seeing fifty fucking normies. GET OFF MY BOARD. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Next Day
"Hey, Twi! Sorry about cutting you off yesterday."
>"I-It's okay..."
"Why weren't you at the party? All your friends were there."
>"U-Uh, I-I-I was busy... Doing homework..."
>Great save, Sparkle
"Ha, okay. Was there something you wanted to ask me yesterday?"
>"Y-Yeah, actually. So, I was, you know, wondering if, maybe, you know, that, uh, you'd want to maybe—"
>"EGGHEAD! ANON!"
>"H-Hey Rainbow."
>"Pinkie's throwing another crazy party at her house tonight, you guys comin'?"
"Sweet, of course I am."
>"U-Uh..."
>"Oh come ON Twilight, even Fluttershy's been hanging out with us more often."
>"yeah well she's a total slut, so..."
>"What?"
>"Nothing, nothing. I... I have to take care of Spike, you know how it is."
>"Yeah whatever. I'll see you there then, right Anon?"
"Obby. Hey, Twi, come on. You should totally hang out with us tonight. If it's a Pinkie Pie party, there's probably gonna be a keg there. It'll be awesome."
>Anon grabs Twilight's hand
>"U-Uh, s-s-sure, okay."
"Sick."
 
-Perspective change to Twilight-
 
>Wow this party is so loud
>Literally everyone from school is here
>Look at these fucking normies
>I bet they unironically like Interstellar and talk about Schroedinger's Cat
>I have to pee so bad and don't even have a bottle
>Oh my god I hear someone talking about "multiverse theory, it's so sick"
>'what if Zelda was a girl'
>'being a nerd is so cool'
>My feet hurt
>I'm hungry
>"Fucking Pinkie Pie parties..."
>Some fucking normies walk up to me
>Wait, that's Rarity and RD
>Still
>"Twilight darling, I didn't think you'd make it!"
"Y-Yeah. Well, I did."
>"Nice. Oh, did you guy see the new Star Wars trailer. FUCKING SICK."
>"I've never been the biggest fan, been more of a Trekker myself, but yes, it looks nice."
>Just talk to them Twilight, don't be weird
"Did you hear Denis Lawson isn't going to be reprising his role as Wedge Antilles? They wouldn't give him a decent enough part, crazy right? He's the sole survivor of the X-Wing pilots in three films! Aside from Luke, of course."
>"...Yeah."
>"I think I hear Fluttershy calling for me. Nice seeing you here, darling."
"O-Oh, okay."
>Fluttershy is actually calling for Rarity
>She's drunk as fuck and hanging over a bunch of dudes
>Rarity saunters over and laughs it up
>"You really are an egghead, aren't you?"
>Involuntarily make a "ree" sound
>"Ree?"
"It's a meme, you dip."
>"Uh, sure. See ya, Twilight."
>Fuck
>Being alone is fine, this is fine
>Is that... Trixie?
>LITERALLY everyone from school is here, apparently
>She's walking up to people and doing 'magic tricks' for them
>At a fucking party
>At least you aren't that autistic
>'oh i saw a magician when i was 7 an now i dedicate my life to magick :^)'
>What a fucking sperg
>'yfw you're not Trixie Lulamoon'
>She seems to be looking this way
>Look around
>No one nearby
>She's coming with way
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
>"MISS SPARKLE, TRIXIE KNEW SHE WOULD FIND YOU HERE!"
"Trixie, go away."
>"TRIXIE CHALLENGES YOU TO A DUEL! A MAGIC DUEL!"
"I don't have my deck with me. Go away, please."
>"Well, that's okay. Trixie brought two decks, and yours would be very balanced. Trixie would not feel good about dominating someone who didn't have a chance."
>This is what happens when you're an autist's only friend
"Go away."
>See Anon out of corner of your eye
>He's heading to you
>Oh fuck oh fuck, this is going to be embarrassing
>Sip alcohol from your cup trying to look aloof and cool
>"So, Miss Sparkle, Trixie has her cards in jackets. Some are very rare! I bet you'd like them. Here's your deck"
>She shoves a fucking Magic deck in your hand
>"Hey Sparkle, hanging out with Trixie, huh?"
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>Put Trixie's cards in your drink
>Splash drink on her
>She starts crying
"I told you I didn't want to play your stupid game."
>"What the fuck, Twilight! Trixie has Aspergers, you can't just do that to her!"
"W-What? For real?"
>She's crying and picking her cards up off the floor
>Music stopped
>People looking
>Just wanted to look like a stone-cold motherfucker
"U-Uh, d-d-did you want to talk about Wedge Antilles?"
>"Twilight, I think you should leave."
"B-But I, this isn't like me, I'm a good person, I just..."
>"Then what the fuck are you like? You're either giving people the cold shoulder, or being a total bitch to your friends."
>Anon bends down and helps Trixie pick up her cards
>People still staring at you
>On guy coughs
>Total silence
>Fuck fuck fuck
>Why did she have to be an actual sperglord
"I-I'm sorry, Trixie."
>"Th-These were all I had to remember my dad by."
>Oh come the fuck on
>You roll your eyes
>People gasp
"Fuck, I'm sorry, it's just, that's, like, cliche, you know. Right, guys? You know what I'm talking about?"
>People just shaking their heads
>"Trixie is sorry for making you mad, Sparkle..."
"She's doing this on purpose! There's no way someone can be this sad. I'm being Punk'd! Right? Ha, good one guys. We all suddenly care about Trixie, and her dad is TOTALLY dead."
>Gasps
"See, I'm kidding, and, uh, nice job Trixie, we totally pranked everyone. They totally think I'm an asshole. Ha ha."
>Oh god how do you stop existing?
"I, uh, I'm totally autistic too, so, it's okay."
>People are actually booing you now
>This literally can't get any worse
>Of course this is what's going to happen the first time you go to a party
>Might as well go for it
"Anon, do you want to hang out."
>"What? No! What are you even? You're making this worse for yourself, man."
>Well, time to leave
>Someone whispers to someone about how you'll be in big trouble
>Literally say "For you" out loud
>Jesus fuck
>Why the fuck are people still looking at you
>Leaving the party is awkward as fuck
>Nothing this spaghetti has ever happened to you, ever
>Parties are for fags
>Normies are dumb, they'll forget about this anyways
>Go back home
>Spike knocked over the jugs in your room
>Spend hours cleaning the room
>Still smells
>Whatever
>Get on computer
>"I went to a party today: AMA"
>'NORMIES GET OFF MY BOARD REEEEE'
>"I'm not a normie. It was the worst experience of my life."
>'>enough social life to go to a party' REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Too normie to go on 4chan now
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>A few days later
>Monday now, time to see if people remember the party
>Probably not, normies are fucking retarded
>If no one ever gives shit to Fluttershy for her "Crouching Kitten, Hidden Stacy" act at parties, you'll be fine
>But seriously, what a fucking sloot, acting like she's all shy and shit
>She doesn't know what it's like to be socially anxious for real
>'>not a virgin'
>'>not a normie'
>Pick one
>Anyways, you enter school and things do seem to be fine
>No stares
>20 point to House Sparkle
>Oh shit, Anon!
>Maybe he's forgiven you
>If so, maybe you can finally invite him to hang out
>It's just been so hard to work up the courage
>And he's talking to Rainbow "Rug Destroyer" Dash
"H-Hey guys. S-Sorry about... You know."
>Not actually sorry but whatever
>"It's fine, Twi. Anyways, I'll see you later babe."
>Dash pecks Anon on the lips
>"See ya, babe."
"B-B-B-B-B-B—"
>"You don't need to be so nervous around me, Twilight."
"But I thought... I—Isn't she... I thought Rainbow..."
>"Thought what? You didn't know we were dating?"
"I thought she was a lesbian!"
>"Lol, dude, no. I thought she was one of your best friends or something. I mean, trust me, I know, if you know what I mean."
"R-Right..."
>"Anyways, I gotta go, see ya around Sparkle."
>tfw pure virgin qtboi is actually a disgusting manwhore Chad
>tfw a cuck
>To live is to despair
>The chains of human morality bind us to despair
>The gods have abandoned their children
>left to drift in the endless, cold black of the universe
>Born simply to die, to partake in the suffering that is existence
>To take the reigns of one's own life
>To end one's life
>Is to truly own one's life
>No wonder they call it "taking" your life
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0
>Normies could never fathom the pain of being a handholdless, kissless virgin
>Today you saw someone wearing a "rarest Pepe" T-Shirt
>'have you heard about this sick new meme? it's about a frog and then you go REEEEEEEE. the internet is so random!'
>Wanted to fucking REEEEEEEEEEEE in his face
>Not a total sperg, though, so you didn't
>Can't even fucking eat the lunch in front of you
>Disgusting sub-human Mexican food
>HOW do people eat this shit
>Quesadillas... just the smell makes you cringe
>"You're not looking so good today, Twilight. Mind if I sit with you?"
"Pff, whatever. Go ahead, Sunny."
>God look at her
>Absolutely perfect
>Lissome body, perfect skin, amazing hair, fashionable
>Not a total Stacy like Rarity
>You wonder what she looks like naked
>Probably amazing
>Man, what if you had hips like that
>Then all the Chads would be hanging on your every word
>To think, having a perfect body like that is all it takes to be happy
>"Is something on your mind? I've been so busy with work lately, and I'm sorry we've not been able to hang out as much as we used to."
>You frown
"I'm fine, Sunny."
>"You know, I think I saw Trixie eating in the bathroom. I thought she usually sat here with you. Did something happen?"
"Are you making fun of me?"
>"What?"
"You seriously didn't hear about it?"
>"Hear about what?"
"You really didn't? You're not making fun of me?"
>"Twilight, please, you're being weird."
"Eh. I accidentally ruined her dumb deck of cards at a party and then accidentally spilled alcohol all over her."
>Kind of wish you'd accidentally lit a match and dropped it on her
>Bitch gets tons of sympathy from people who don't actually deal with her obnoxious inanity
>"Oh that's terrible! The cards her father collected and gave her before he died in that tragic car accident?"
"What? God, I'm never going to live this down. How do you even know that?!"
>"I've been talking to a lot of the students here at CHS for my Friendship studies."
>You laugh
"Friendship studies? Do you report to Barney or something?"
>"Don't mention that name. That purple dinosaur is... Forget it. Anyways, yeah, I talked to Trixie. She's a very sweet girl, and she talked a lot about how close of a friend she considered you to be."
>You groan
>Trixie is going to ruin your life with her dumb "oh my life is so sad" story
>"You know Twilight, if you're going through something, just know I'm here for you. I've gone through some tough stuff myself."
>You REEEEEEE silently on the inside
>Ms. Basically a Saint totally knows how you feel, mayng
"Thanks for the offer, Sunny, but I don't really think you'd really get it."
>CAN'T WAKE UP
>It might be edgy, but whatever
>"I know it's been hard for you to... fit in, here, and the others might not hang out with you as much as they could, but I know what that's like. It took me a long time to earn people's trust and friendship. All you have to do is—"
>Don't you fucking dare, Sunny
>"Be—"
>DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
>"Yourself!"
>Without speaking, you pick up your tray and stand up
>"Where are you going."
>You shake your head and leave the cafeteria
>"Twilight! What did I say? What did I say!"
>Sunny may be good looking, but she certainly ain't smart
>'oh I'm hot and popular, I know just how you feel Twilight'
>'jus b urself LMAO'
>Just a normie like the rest
>Just like Anon...
>You haven't done this since elementary, but
>Time to take lunch to the bathrooms
>There's a soft sobbing and munching
>Oh fuck
>You forgot
>Trixie was in here
>People saw you take your lunch into the bathroom
>Imagine seeing someone walk into the bathroom with their lunch, then walk back out
>That person would have to be beta as fuck to do that
>No, you weren't going to let them think you were beta
>You were going to be alpha, even if that meant eating next to Trixie
>"Trixie is sorry, father..."
>Jesus Christ, speaks in third person AND speaks to herself
>Can she stop with the dad, shit, though?
>It's like she's trying to make you feel bad
>This place is the worst
>You try to find a stall to eat in
>Fuck, they're all in use
>This is gross-ass place to eat food, now that you think about it
>You put your tray on the sink counter
>Seems clean enough
>What do you got?
>Carrots, milk... quesadillas
>You munch on a carrot and think on your life
>Maybe if you got a larger carrot you practice lewd things on it, then boys would like you
>You'd be all hot like Sunset
>You pose in the mirror with the small carrot stick, trying to look hot
>"Twilight, what the fuck are you doing?"
"FUCK!"
>Applejack is looking at you with concern
>At least this isn't super embarrassing, she's too busy on her farm to gossip to people about this
"I'm eating, o-obviously."
>"Right. You know, Twi, truth be told, you been acting real uppity as of late and I don't like it. Heard you were a real bitch at Pinkie's a few days ago."
"Th-That's kind of mean to just, you know, say to someone."
>"Honesty ain't about bein' nice. It's bout bein' honest."
"That's a tautology. You're not really saying anything, you know. Plus, I mean, what is honesty? Essentially? It's arguable, you know, what any abstract concept necessarily entails, taking the Wittgensteinian concept of word games—"
>"This is exactly your problem, sugarcube. Nit pickin' every last thing someone says."
"Well, I'm going after the core of your argument, which relies on a set def—"
>"Everything don't got to be an argument, Twi. N stop blowin' produce in the girl's bathroom. It's nasty. Now I'm gon' wash mah hands an' leave."
>"Can you guys be quiet, I'm trying to take a shit in here."
"Ew."
>"Ew yourself!"
>Sounds like some random background bitch, who gives a fuck about her
>Applejack leaves shaking her head
>Just gotta eat fast enough to leave before Trixie...
>A stall door creaks open
>"Miss Sparkle? Trixie would like to apologize to you..."
>Nuh uh, no
>You're not going to let her force you into feeling guilty
"Trixie, please don't apologize to me."
>"Trixie must, though. Trixie realizes that she may have been... overbearing."
>That's putting it lightly
>"After Trixie's dad... Trixie put too much burden on you, always trying to play and talk with you. Trixie knows she is annoying."
"Trixie, please. Stop."
>Trixie's mouth quivers, her eyes tearing up
>Fucking seriously
>Not making this up
>You ruined her cards
>And if that wasn't bad enough
>She's apologizing to YOU
>This can't NOT be orchestrated
>Now you're the bad guy after years of being the Autism Lightningrod and fighting back
>It was a dick move, in retrospect, but who could've known about the whole dad thing!
>It's hazy, you sort of remember her talking about something like that, but you don't pay attention to her!
>Fuck
>You frown at her 'I can't read facial expressions' face
>"Trixie is sorry for putting her need for a friend above your needs."
>Wow, nice
"You don't have to apologize, Trixie. I'm sorry for what I did."
>Not actually
>Trixie hugs you
>You hug her back
>This is why she was your only friend
>You're too fucking beta to be a constant, stonecold killa
>"After school, would Miss Sparkle like to walk with Trixie to the Game Shop?"
"Walk?! That's so far for a walk!"
>A mile is a long walk
>"Trixie... Doesn't trust wheels."
>You groan
"M-Maybe. I'll think about it."
>Trixie gives you a nod and leaves
>Various methods of suicide rush through your head
"How can I learn to be alpha?"
>"Still trying to take a shit in here. Can you please leave? It's hard to do this when people are talking."
>Whatever
>Maybe you could pawn Trixie off onto Sunny...
>The bell rings to end lunch and you start concocting your plan
>You'll need to find Sunny right after school ends
>Before Trixie finds you
>Then you can be all suave and pretend you have a life
>'oh Trixie, it pains me so, as I am a great friend of yours, but I am busy today'
>'HURR OH NO I GON CRY JUST LIKE I DID LAST YEAR WHEN YOU DIDN'T HANG OUT WITH ME :^)'
>'do not shed a single tear on that spergerous face of yours, my friend, for Sunny Bunny, this buxom and sweet lass, will play a children's card game with you instead!'
>'Anything for a friend because I'm perfect and hot and amazing ;)'
>'WAAH SUNSET YOU BETTER PLAY CARDS WITH ME FOR FOUR HOURS AND NOT LEAVE OR I'LL CRY!'
>'It's a good thing I'm basically the Pope but a cute girl :3'
>He he he
>It's the perfect plan
>You wonder what Sunny would look like in a nun outfit
>For a bit, you get a bit mad that she looks so hot in your head
>But having the body of a twelve year old boy probably has its advantages you tell yourself
>It's not like taking off your glasses and letting your bun down would turn you into a hot girl
>Fuck movies
>But that's a fight for another day
>Today is all about committing the perfect crime
>You like Sunny
>But you'll ruin her life with a Trixie bomb if you gotta
>You giggle to yourself throughout class
>People look at you when you do and it makes you very self-conscious
>Normies never laugh randomly by themselves
>Fuck 'em
>"Miss Sparkle, would you mind telling the class what's so funny?"
"W-What?"
>"Are you on your phone in class, is that it?"
"N-N-N-N-No, I-I was just thinking of something..."
>People chuckle
>Jokes on them, though, because your life is about to become amazing
>Without Trixie, man, your life...
>'OMG Twilight, we never realized how hot and smart you were until now!'
>He he he
>The last minutes of your last class arrive
>Tick tock, tick tock
>Just gotta run to Sunny's locker, and BAM
>Social life saved
>RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
>Hefting your backpack up onto your back (where else would it go?) you dash out the door
>You spot Trixie out of the corner of your eye
>DON'T LOOK AT HER
>"Miss Sparkle!"
>You dash by her, flying around at the speed of sound
>She will follow you, no doubt about it
>After all this time, you know how the mind of a sperg works
>Trixie can probably sniff you out like a bloodhound
>At least it seems like it
>Anyways, you're running real fast
>Been a while since you've really run, a long while, like elementary school long
>You feel your arms slipping back behind you, as if you were an anime cha—
>NO
>No, you left those days behind you
>Muscle memory is gay
>Finally, you spot Sunny
>And Rainbow Dash
>And Anon
>The image of Rainbow kissing your husbando flashes through your mind
>You lose your balance and careen straight into Sunny, knocking her to the ground
>Next thing you know, your face is buried deep into her...
>Belly
>Eh
>It could've been better
"O-Oh, I-I-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Sunny."
>"It's okay, Twilight," she says, as RD and Anon help you up
>"You were going awful fast, huh, Egghead? Practicing for the track tryouts?"
>She has her arm around Anon
>Is he a fucking beta or what? His arm should be around her!
>"Yeah, didn't know you were the sporty type, Twilight," Anon says
>RD and Anon chuckle
"N-N-N-N—"
>"We're just fucking with you, Egghead. Anyways, we'll see you guys later."
>"Yeah, we're gonna hang at my house."
>As RD and Anon leave, RD turns around and silently mouths 'and FUCK!' and then makes a lewd gesture with her hands
>B-B-B-B-But
>"Twilight, are you crying? Oh my god, are you hurt?"
>Sunny pouts
"W-What? No... I'm okay."
>"MISS SPARKLE!"
>Fuck
>You gulp
>Time to put the theory to the test
"H-H-Hey Trixie."
>You grab your side and cringe
>Sunny comes to comfort you as expected
>It would be bad if she walked away now
>"Miss Sparkle, so... Did you want to come play with Trixie?"
>Sunny makes an 'aw :3' sound
>Fag
"O-Of course, I'd love t-t—O-Oh, you know, I-I just remembered. I-I promised my parents I would, uh, w-walk Spike today. A-After school. Today."
>Trixie frowns
>Here come the waterworks
>"Okay. Trixie understands."
>What?
"What?"
>"Trixie understands. Miss Sparkle is busy."
"No... Y-You're not going to cry?"
>"Trixie's dad always used to say I had to grow up. Now Trixie has to tell herself that. I'm a big girl now."
"For you."
>You slap your hand over your mouth
>"You know, Trixie, I'd love to play with you since Twilight's busy. I've always wanted to get into Magic the Gathering. Do you play Pathfinder?"
>"Oh, yes! Trixie loves Pathfinder."
>"I've never played a tabletop game before, but it's always been something I've been interested in. I hear lots of fun stories about it!"
>Trixie lights up and takes Sunny by the hands
>"Trixie has many stories of many campaigns she has partaken in! Trixie could arrange something to play tonight at the shop with her new friend!"
>"I'm always up for making new friends."
>"So, Trixie has a very cool character: she is a wizard, she is named The Great and Powerful..."
>They don't look at you
>They talk and you can hear them laughing as they leave
>You take a deep breath and pinch yourself
>Did that just happen?
>What the fuck just happened
>What the FUCK just happened?
>Is Sunny the fucking Sperg Whisperer?!
>You realize that you've been standing here for a few minutes too long
>All the students have already left and you are alone
>This is how it usually is, anyways
>You'll go home
>Go on your computer
>Just like most every night
>The walk home is quiet
>You bet Sunny and Trixie are having a GREAT time, the assholes
>Eight hours of shitposting later, you sleep