>Day M.A.D. in Equestria
>Wake up, and salute your Ronald Regean poster
>Go to the bathroom
>Shit, Shower, Shave
>Descend to the kitchen via stairs and commence the most American breakfast possible in this meatless pony-filled Purgatory
>Biscuits and gravy, it don't get much more 'Murican than that.
>check your kitchen clock, it's 7:59
Sigh... Flutternutter will be here in a minute.
>8:00
>knock knock
>Fucking sundial-work
>Open the door, Fluttershy's standing there in a bomber cap with a red star on it and a large, ragged fur overcoat
Hey, Fluttershy.
FS: Hello, Comrade Anon.
>Dat accent
What do you want Flutterski?
>you chuckle at your goddamned brilliance. That pun was fucking uranium
FS: I have a gift for you, comrade
I don't need anymore dragon dildos.
FS: Is not dill-dough. Is launch keys.
>wut.jpg
>FlutterLenin hands you two titanium keys and flashes two of her own to you.
FS: Is Mutually Assured Destruction tickle your turnips, comrade?
>What?
>Didn't they invent the train like 10 years ago? Where the hell did they even get uranium?
FS:I mean, is that your fetish?
No, Fluttershy.
>She looks crestfallen, her ears flatten out and she pouts at you.
>Then ears stand staright up and she has a fire in her eyes.
>It burns brighter than Berlin 1945
FS: If you don't rut me, I will blow you up!
>This bitch crazy
Flutters, if you do that, then I'LL blow YOU up.
FS: Oh, right.
Go home Fluttershy.
FS: Okay...
>Tears form at the corner of her eyes, she's shaking visibly.
Do you want your keys back?
FS: No, you keep them. They were a gift remember?
Uh, thanks.
>she sobs with no control left in her body. Tears gush forward like orcs rushing Helm's Deep.
Bye, Flutters
>shut the door
>We may have a crisis on our hands Mr.Regean.
R:Great going Anon, You've made your country so proud.
 
 
 
 
>You are now Fluttershy
>Anon has resisted you for THE. LAST. TIME.
>If you couldn't have him, nop0ny could.
>But, you don't want to kill him, just everyp0ny else.
>Especially that whorse Rarity. You've seen how she gazes at him.
>So...It's settled then
>You're going to use your ("legitimately" aquired) nukes. On Ponyville.
>All that can be heard throughout the your cottage is a dark chuckle than builds to a hysteric scream.
Anon... You could have stopped this...*sniff* all you had to do was love me forever.
 
>You are now Anon
>You feel bad
>Could be the protein defeicency
>Could be home sickness
>Or it could be that Fluttershy's about to kill herself because you wouldn't pork her.
>mmmm....Pork.
R: Maybe you should go apologise
That's a great thought Regean, but counter-point: Let's not.
R: She's probably gonna kill herself over this
Over me not giving her the D? It'll be the 6th time this month.
R: Yeah, but she has never been this upset over rejection.
You're right, me. But you remember what happened last time I went to her cottage...
 
 
 
 
 
>>Flashback time
>You broke your damn arm. Probably wasn't a good idea to fist fight Big Mac when you and he got wasted.
>Even less of a good idea to go to Lilac Lust for help.
>Doesn't really matter, since the hospital doesn't know how to help humans
>Fluttershy, being a vet, should be able to help you.
>God, she was doing literal backflips when you told her at Sugarcube Corner that you needed her to fix your arm
>You walk up to the door and knock on it.
>Fluttershy answers it, dressed in a white doctor's coat.
Hey, Fluttershy, are broken arms, your fetish?
>Oh my fucking god. You must be a super jew to drop that piece of comedic platinum.
FS: It can be.
Just a joke Fluttershy
FS: Oh...Come in! Come in!
>You walk in and she leads you to her room.
>As you walk behind her, you notice the crotch area of her coat's wet.
Jesus Christ...
FS: Who's that?
What? Oh, nobody.
>She shuts the door behind you
FS: Alright, anon? What seems to be the problem?
I broke my arm.
FS: No, that is a problem, but not THE problem.
>Where is this going...
FS: The problem is you're not inside me.
>She opens her coat revealing straps and lingerie and...is...that...Scootaloo?
S: Hiya Anon!
>allmywut.jpg
Fluttershy, I'm leaving.
FS: You can't leave, i haven't fixed your arm yet!
Nope. I'm leaving
S: Bye Anon!
Seeya Scoots, be good ok?
>That was the single strangest thing you have ever seen
>Magnolia Pyscho duct-taped scootaloo to her chest.
>More so, how the fuck did you not notice that to begin with?
>Arm never heals right, bones mend back out of place and sever a nerve in your hand.
>Can't move your pinky or ring finger
>Such a day in the life of Anon: Defender of the American Way.
 
 
 
 
 
>>Present
>You are Fluttershy and you're going to destroy p0nyville
>It's nothing against ponyville
>It's just so there is nothing to stop anon from loving you
>If you're the only living thing in ponyville, then he'll have to love you.
Angel!
>The white demon of the west appears before you munching a carrot
I'd like for you to deliver a message to Anon.
>you had him a note and shoo him off.
>Now you need to get the party's approval to use the missles
>Shouldn't be hard, the Party is all your woodland friends.
>By the end of today. p0nyville will be a smoking crater.
>good thing Anon's house is outside the town's limits.
>Meanwhile, the rabbit arrives at Anon's.
 
>You are Anon: Defender of the American Way
>fluutershy's super upset and you need to apologise
>Put on your boots, jeans, American Flag shirt and head out the door.
>Fluttershy's rabbit is sitting on your front step.
>he has a piece of paper in his paw
Gimme that, you shit.
>The rabbit gives the paper and the bird, then runs away.
>Wascally Wabbit.
Let's see here...Undying love...Can't live without you...Nop0ny else can have you.
>This is all old news.
Nothing to report Mr.President.
>Regean's voice eminates from the back of your mind.
R: Look at the bottom of the page, you ass.
>Scan down to the bottom.
"I'm going to bomb P0nyville so you can only love me." "P.S. Scootaloo hi."
Aww, that's nice. I should visit the girls again soon.
R: You dumb bastard. Look again.
>Rolling your eyes, you look again.
I'm going to bomb P0nyville so you can only love me...Well Shit.
R: Come on, boy we got work to do.
But, I'm scared...
R: You know, a wise man once said some thing about being scared. He said "Courage isn't about being brave, it's about being scared as hell, but saddling up anyways."
Are you saying I have to fuck Fluttershy?!
R: No, that was a quote from John Wayne. An American. Are you an American?
Yes, sir.
R: do you believe in the values of Capitalism?
Yes, Sir!
R: Are you gonna protect your friends?
YES, Sir!
R: Are you gonna let that yellow communist win?
YES, SIIRRR!!!
I mean...no!
R: Sigh...
 
 
 
 
>You are Scootaloo
>You are also a plot device in this sheit story
>Earlier, you saw Fluttershy running to her cottage bawling her eyes out.
>Thinking nothing of it, as Fluttershy is known for her strong emotions, you head over to the clubhouse to meet up with Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.
AB: Hay Scootaloo!
SB: Scoots! You're back!
Hey girls.
AB: Well where yah been?
Just in town, I saw Ms.Fluttershy running home crying, I wonder what's got her so upset.
SB: Probably something to do with Anon.
Why do you say that?
AB: Do yah not know about that? Mah sister says she has a crush on 'im.
SB: My sister says she wants to mate with him.
What does that mean?
>Mando's doll and Sweetie exchange looks
SB: Scootaloo, I think it's time we had a talk.
 
>You are Anon.
>You and Regean have to stop Yellowsilent from killing everyone.
>Worse, you have to stop her.
Kennedy was good at stopping missles. Where's he?
R: Dude, he got shot in the head. He's not too good at anything anymore.
You're dead too!
R: I wasn't assasssinated
Pfft. Almost were.
>Regean kicks you in the imagination
>Visions of you and Flutternut having sex on a bed made of eels and severed crocodile dicks flash across your eyes. Eels weren't alive, the crocodile dicks were.
What in Uncle Sam's name was that?
R: What happens when you fuck with Regean.
>you shudder and shake until you get to Fluttershy's Cottage.
>the door's open.
>this is too easy
>walk in and there she is. Kahmrade Fluttershy.
FS: Hello Anon, my love.
>you remain silent
>The launch keys are already in the control module.
>Angel's poised to turn the first key
Don't do it, Flutters. You'll kill everyone even your friends.
FS: I don't care! All i wanted was you! ...and that hot monkey dick.
R: What did she say?
shut up Regean, I'll tell you later.
FS: Who's Regean?
No one.
R: I'll show you no one.
>Regean fuckin'punts that imagination.
>The Room starts playing
STOP IT REGEAN, I'M SORRY! JUST MAKE IT STOP!
R: Damn right you are.
FS: Okay. Um, where was I? Oh! I'm giving you this last chance. Bed me, or I destroy everything.
No!
>she sighs and turns away towards the control module.
>Angel starts hopping in anticipation.
Fluttershy! How can you do this?
FS: Like this.
>Bitch turns the key.
>ahfuck.gif
 
 
 
>Gotta go fast!
>You have an idea, albeit a bad one.
R: What are you gonna do?
That's for me to know and for you to find out.
>Regean stays silent at this, most likely sensing how fucked we are.
>at home
>where are the keys?
There!
>A conviently placed control module of your own replaces your couch.
>while it took a p0ny and a rabbit to activate Fluttershy's module, your armspan is wide enough to activate yourself.
>stupid pones
R: You just want to destroy more land?
Just watch.
>You turn the keys clockwise and the launch sequence begins
>The entire house shakes as it splits in half and a missle rises from beneath the foundation.
Jesus...Christ.
JC: Did you send for me my son?
Fuck off.
JC: Hmph.
>As it rises, the engines engage and the missle takes flight.
R: Are you...no.
Yep.
>The missle streaks through the sky at the speed of half a Rainbow Dash.
>Meanwhile Fluttershy's missle is also streaking towards ponyville
>itshappening.jpg
>Anon's missle streaks towards Fluttershy's. they're only 100 yards apart.
>50
>20
>10
>5
>Derpy flies into Anon's missle sending it off course.
>Derpy hits the ground unscathed, as the missle explodes in the thermosphere (yes Derpy was in the thermosphere).
>Fluttershy's missle continues to streak towards P0nyville
>It's only a matter of minutes before it strikes
>P0nies run in panic, Twilight's trying to block it with her magic, Applejack threw a rock through the sofa and quill store window and Big mac's taking a sofa.
>Rarity and pinkie have decided to repent to Celestia.
>Rarity confesses of comitting adultery and blasphemy.
>Pinkie confesses murder, rape, stealing, homosexuality, idol worshipping, summoning Satan, and taking a cupcake from the cupcake jar.
>Fluttershy has barricaded herself in a bunker under her house.
>It's dark, all you can hear is her humming "you are my sunshine"
 
 
 
 
>MEANWHILE The missle flys toward the town, and it's up to Anon: Defender of the American Way to stop it.
>Anon?
What?
>What are you doing?
I'm maturbating to death, what does it look like?
>Why?
The missle missed, they're all gonna die and i'll be stuck with Fluttershy.
R: Ahem.
Shut up, Regean. You haven't been any help at all today.
R: Prick.
>So, you're just giving up?
Yepperoonie.
>You're not gonna try at all, then?
Nope.
>You're okay with everyone you love dying?
I did it once when I came to Equestria.
>No one died
They way as well, i'll never see them again.
>That's depressing
Tell me about it.
>Sigh
sigh
R: Sigh
.
.
.
>Hey, What's that?
It's a Bird!
It's a Plane!
>Anon was right the first time, it's a chicken.
R:...Chickens don't fly
Unless.
>no
S: DEUS EX MACHINA!!!!!!
>Scootaloo flys into the missle at mach 800
>The missle esplodes over p0nyville in the stratusphere.
>The limp form of Scootaloo falls to P0nyville.
>The day is saved. Thanks to Scootaloo's selfless sacrifice.
>All is well in Equestria, including P0nyville (except for elevated cancer and birth defect rates due to the fallout)
>Scootaloo is in a coma at the hospital, everyone is there hoping she wakes.
 
 
 
>You are Regean, Former President of the United States Of America
>You watch as your only friend Anon, tears himself apart over the sacrifice of this brave orange filly
If I wasn't a spirit, trapped in this retard's mind, I'd kill that yellow bitch.
>You watch as the young p0ny stirs and her eyes slowly open
Anon, look!
A: What... Scoots! You're awake!
>she smiles weakly
S: Anon I have something to say
A: What is it?
S: I couldn't let Fluttershy put her penis in your vagina, I couldn't let her get you pregnant.
>wut?
Anon? what the hell does she mean by that?
A: I don't know, Regean.
>Applebloom and Sweetie Belle are sitting in bed with Scootaloo
AB: That is kinda... our fault.
SB: She didn't know about the birds and the bees, so...we...told her.
AB: Ah think she got mixed up.
>evenmorewut
S: *cough cough* Anon, I have more to say...
A: What is it?
S: >Scootaloo
A: Wha...?
S: >is
A: no. NO! DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE! PLEASE, SCOOTALOO! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!
R: Prick.
S: >kill
>with a final breath, she leaves this world.
A: >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1!!