>Good morning!
>No, really good morning!
>You got to sleep in today, because there was no early morning knock at your door.
>Fluttershy is away visiting her parents for a few days.
>That means a blissful few days without rape attempts or fetish guesses.
>A few mornings to quietly enjoy your coffee instead of dreading her shenanigans.
>A few evenings where you can quietly catch up on your reading, instead of fending off unwanted advances.
>You know it can't last, so you plan to enjoy it while it does.
>Knock-knock-knock-knock...
/You have GOT to be shitting me./
>You hope to god she's not bringing her parents by your house to introduce you as her lover, or something incredibly awkward like that.
>Draining your coffee to fortify yourself, you get up to answer the door.
>You don't recognize the tall purple pony on your porch.
>"Um, hello Anonymous, can I come in?"
>That voice is familiar though...
"Twilight?"
>"Sshhh! Not so loud! Please let me in?"
"Uhhh, sure?"
>Twilight Sparkle is one of the more level-headed of Fluttershy's friends, so you step back and gesture for her to come in, wishing you had tidied up a bit.
>It's rare for her to visit you these days.
>"Thanks, I - ouch!"
>She back up a couple of steps, then ducks her head so she can get her horn through the door without hitting your lintel again.
>That horn seems longer than you remember.
>And where is that breeze coming from that seems to be stirring her mane?
>Twilight stumbles over the step up to your living area, apparently unsure how long her legs are, but recovers quickly.
>You close the door and move to your kitchen, peering into the fridge.
"Can I get you anything? I have uhh, water, bread, apples, leftover pizza... I can make tea..."
>"No thank you," she replies as she sits herself on your couch.
/Did her voice just crack?/
>"I came seeking your help, actually."
>The Princess of Friendship comes to you for help?
"Well, okay, if I can."
>"Good. Sit down please."
>You sit in your comfy armchair.
>A blush lightly colors her cheeks.
>"Sit next to me, if you would."
>An unusual request, especially coming from her, but you're willing to humor her.
>You push off from your armchair and re-seat yourself on the couch, beside Twilight.
"Well, what can I do to hel-lp?!"
>Twilight has extended one of her wings behind your back and pulled you into her side, then rests her head on your shoulder, inadvertently menacing your face with her lengthened horn.
>"Oh Anon, everything is changing and I don't know what to do!"
"Hold on, what? What's changing?"
>"I'm, well, just look at me! I look ridiculous!"
"No, well, I thought you looked different from how I remember you..."
>"SHUT UP! You just don't understand how I feel!"
>Awkward silence grips the room as Twilight suddenly sobs on your shirt.
"Okay, maybe..."
>"Just hold me you big dummy," she says between sobs.
>Between wing-hug, long pointy horn in front of your face, and apparent emotional instability, you're kinda scared to do anything else at this point, so you gently wrap your arms around her barrel.
"There, there..."
>You speak reassuringly, wondering who exactly you're trying to reassure, as Twilight's horn threatens to have your eye out at each sob.
"Um, do you think maybe you could tell me what this is about?"
>Twilight sniffles and backs off a bit, thankfully without scarring your face.
>"Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry. You must hate me now."
"Twilight, I don't hate you. Please tell me what's happening."
>"O-okay." She sniffles as the waterworks slowly peter out.
>"I don't know if you've noticed, but my whole body is changing."
>Through a supreme effort of will, you barely manage not to reply, "No shit, really?" instead nodding sympathetically and gesturing for her to continue.
>"Everything is growing, and none of my outfits fit me anymore, and Rarity worked so hard to make them for me...."
"I'm sure if you asked her, she'd be happy to make new ones, that pony loves to sew..."
>"THAT'S NO what I'm talking about!!" Twilight yells, her voice cracking and her wings flaring, knocking over a lamp in the process.
>Whoa, mood swing - you half raise yourself from the couch to escape.
>"Sorry, sorry, I've got it under control. Really I have."
>Twilight's wing curls around you again, preventing your escape, and pulls you close once more.
>"It's not just my body though - my feelings are hard to control. My thoughts are all scrambled!"
"Well, have you ever felt like this before?"
>Twilight blushes.
>"A long time ago, when I began to grow into marehood, but not on this scale!"
>Okay, seriously?
>She couldn't make this connection herself?
>Well, maybe she's in denial.
>Or maybe her head is so scrambled that she can't think straight.
"Umm, please don't take this the wrong way, but consider Princess Celestia..."
>"What about her?"
"Well, she's a lot taller than other ponies, and she's an Alicorn, like you are now, so..."
>Maybe if you fill in a couple of blanks she can make this conclusion on her own.
>"So what?"
>Maybe not then.
"So maybe growing into an Alicorn is... kinda like when you grew from a filly into a mare?"
>Twilight Sparkle fixes her eyes on yours - you can practically see the gears turning in her head.
>"YOU MEAN LIKE-" she stops herself, clamping one hoof over her mouth, and looks around. "...puberty?" she barely whispers.
"Well I mean, I'm no expert on ponies, perhaps Princess Celestia...OOF!"
>Now instead of one wing, she has you wrapped up in both wings and both fore-hooves.
>"OF COURSE! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!!"
/That's okay, I probably didn't need that ear./
>"Omigosh, what if you're right? What if changing into an Alicorn means going through... puberty... all over again?"
>The way she whispers "puberty" at less than half the volume of every other word in that sentence tells you that this is a concept that she is not entirely comfortable with.
>This discussion has just gone way above your pay grade, as far as you're concerned.
>You disengage yourself as gently as you can, but she still leaves one wing wrapped around your torso.
>And she's blushing so hard you'd swear your entire living room was lit with a reddish glow.
>"But what should I do? I can't have all of Ponyville knowing that I'm going through... that!"
"Okay, we are officially way outside my area of expertise. Maybe you ought to talk to Princess Celestia? I'm sure she's been through it, though maybe it was a while ago..."
>"Are you kidding me Anonymous? I can't talk about things like... THAT, with the ruler of Equestria!"
"Okay then, maybe Princess Luna..."
>"She won't even be awake for nine more hours!"
"Calm down, calm down..."
>Yeah, that doesn't seem to be working.
>She's practically hyperventilating now.
"What about Princess Cadence? She's practically your sister."
>She seems to seriously consider this.
>"Well, in law, if not in fact... but the Crystal Empire is so far away, and they have their hands full with Princess Flurry Heart..."
>Her eyes widen.
>"Omigosh! What's it going to be like for Shining and Cadence when Flurry Heart starts to go through... THAT?!"
>You don't know, but you're starting to get an idea of the hell they have in store for them.
"Look, why don't I make you some tea? It'll help you relax."
>Anything to put a little distance between you and a magical princess flailing in a sea of raging hormones.
>Twilight seems to regard you in a new light.
>"Thanks, that's awfully kind of you."
>And THANKFULLY she releases her grip on you, allowing you to go to the kitchen and put the kettle on.
"Personally, I still think that Princess Cadence is your best bet, and even with all they have going on, I'm sure they'll understand..."
>"But I feel this way RIGHT NOW!"
>You settle for nodding sympathetically as you mentally will the water in the kettle to boil faster.
>"And you're always such a good listener too, Anon."
"Well, sometimes-"
>"No, really! I mean, I've seen you listen to Pinkie Pie, and believe me, that's a feat only a few ponies can manage!"
>Well, you just sort of tune out while she babbles on, but you're not about to tell that to Princess Twilight right now.
>"It's not just the physical changes you see..."
/Oh brother. Here we go./
>You're not sure whether you have the ability, let alone the will, to play Big Brother to Twilight Sparkle today.
>"It's all the mood swings as well, but that fits right in with your... puberty... theory..."
>She still seems to have trouble using that word.
>"But then, my head is also cluttered up with these... urges."
/Oh god, please don't tell me this discussion is going where I think it's going./
>You remember enough of your own awkward adolescence to seriously worry for your safety right now.
/C'mon, boil faster, dammit!/
>"But look at me!"
>Twilight stands and spreads her wings, knocking over a floor lamp.
>"Sorry, but I'm so... tall, and... gangly! I look like a-a-a... a giraffe!!"
>And with that she bursts into tears again and plops down on your couch.
>"I mean, what stallion would want to be with me now? They would need a ladder just to..."
>Thankfully, she is unable to complete that sentence.
"Is that so?"
>You busy yourself with tidying up little things in the kitchen, to give the illusion of listening without having to respond directly to any of her statements or questions.
/God, this is so awkward./
>Steam begins to rise from the kettle.
>"Omigosh, I think you're right! This is exactly how I felt during... that time... only the feelings are SO much more intense!"
>You retrieve cups and saucers from your cupboard and fish around for tea bags.
"Ah, I see."
>You hope your absent reply will mollify her.
>A fresh wail of despair from your living room makes you look up.
>"But look at me! The only ones tall enough are Big Mac, or maybe Fancy Pants or Prince Blueblood... or... you..."
/Shit./
>You hadn't wanted much out of today.
>A bit of quiet reading.
>Maybe a nice walk later.
>A warm bath.
>And now it's just after ten in the morning, and an all-powerful magical princess filled with feelings she can't control is standing in your living room while you try to make her a cup of tea.
>You wish this were just a fetish guess.
>You wish this were just a rape attempt.
>Those now have an almost comfortable feeling of familiarity in contrast to the situation you are now faced with.
"Umm, look, before this goes any further, I think maybe..."
>The kettle begins to whistle.
>SALVATION!
>Oh look, tea's just about ready. Why don't you-"
>PAFF!
>In a blinding flash, Twilight Sparkle teleports into your kitchen and proceeds to rape your face.
>As far as kisses go, this is easily the sloppiest and most aggressive kiss you have ever experienced.
>Not to mention her wings knocked down half your pot rack when she teleported.
>You try to push her away, but her wings wrap around you, pulling you closer to her as she deepens the kiss.
>At length, she breaks the kiss, drooling on your shirt in the process.
>The kettle is now shrieking.
"Well... now that that's... out of your system, I'd better get the tea-"
>"Forget the tea, lover."
>Her horn glows and the stove shuts off.
>Okay, time to be stern.
"Now just wait one minute young lady..."
>PAFF!
>You blink to clear the flash from your eyes, and see that Twilight Sparkle has teleported both you and herself into your bedroom.
>Minus your clothes.
>"Forget everything else, I need your help with this, RIGHT now."
>Duck and roll!
>All those action movies you watched pay off as you manage to get clear of Twilight Sparkle's desperate hold on you.
"Okay, just STOP! You are not in your right head right now-"
>"I don't care," she says, advancing on you.
"And you're royalty and I'm not-"
>"I don't care."
>You run into a wall with a bump.
/Shit./
"You're making me VERY uncomfortable!"
>She stops, her expression changing.
/Holy shit, honesty works! Who knew?/
>Her expression softens.
>Her eyes tear up slightly, pupils widening into a big, sad puppy-dog expression.
/Oh now THAT'S just cheating!/
>"I understand how you feel, Anon, and I would never do anything to hurt you,"
"Thank Celestia for that."
>"And I know I seem... out of control... but I know what I know, and right now I want - no - need, to be loved."
>She places a single, gentle kiss on your nose.
/Dirty pool, Twilight Sparkle./
>She turns around now, flicks her tail up and to one side, and backs towards you...
 
(If I write this scene, I'll just put it in my pastebin, okay? I don't really feel up to writing smut today.)
 
>Knock-knock-knock
>Tangled as you are in sweaty sheets and purple wings and hooves, the sound of someone knocking on your front door filters slowly into your consciousness.
>"Mmmh, see who that is would you?"
"Why me?"
>"It's your house."
>Fair point.
>You rise carefully, achingly, and put on a robe, then walk down the stairs.
>As you open the door, a familiar yellow pegasus flutters up to you and encircles your arm in her fore-hooves.
>"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Anonymous!"
>Just to make the point, she plants a big wet smacker on your cheek.
/Well, today just got a hundred times more awkward./
>A magical glow envelops you, separating your from Fluttershy and pulling you back inside your house.
>The front door slams.
>And, in the Royal Canterlot Voice...
>"BEAT IT HUSSY!!! HE'S MINE!!!"