I've always wanted to try my hand at writing a story featuring Badumsquish's adorable original character, Kalianne (image: https://derpibooru.org/846428 ), and finally, here it is.  Enjoy!   >The clouds burst open, and a light drizzle quickly turns into a torrential, freezing rain. "Nice work, Weather Patrol." >You zip up your jacket all the way to your neck and turn up the collar, in an attempt to ward off the unexpected downburst. >The weather ponies do their best, of course, but certain weather patterns are difficult to control. >You surmise that this might be what you knew from home as a supercell; a thunderhead that formed spontaneously in an area of low pressure. >That said, it could easily be tornado weather, and so you redouble your pace to get home and out of the nasty weather. >It's now so cold that you can see your breath, and you shove your hands into your jacket pockets as you maneuver to avoid puddles in the road. >Away to your left, the sky flashes, and a few seconds later the basso rumble of the thunderclap rolls over you. >Yep, this is a nasty storm alright. >Gotta get home. >You hasten your pace. >The sky flashes again, and you look up to see where it's coming from. >With your attention thus distracted from the path, your right foot connects with something fairly solid. >Face, meet mud. "Ow. Shit." >You resolve not to run with your hands in your pockets anymore. >"Mnnnhhh..." >A feminine moan comes from quite close by, and you turn your head to see a dark blue pony with a fiery auburn mane lying by the side of the road. >Clearly, this is what you tripped over. >Your concerns about getting home are momentarily overridden by concern for another creature who is obviously also having a tough time with this storm. "Oh miss... I'm sorry, are you alright?" >As you push yourself onto your knees, your only response is another drawn-out moan. >You reach out and touch the mare's ear, and are shocked when you feel how cold it is. >She moans again, and you surmise that she is hurt or ill. >Another clap of thunder makes your mind up, you can't abandon her to this weather. "I don't know who you are, but let's get you inside out of this rain, eh?" >Bending at the knees, you get your hands up under her withers and lift. >The mystery mare emits another moan, and weakly grasps your arms with her forelegs. >You attempt to restart your journey home with the poor mare, but find your progress impeded. >She's awfully heavy for some reason. >Or maybe her tail is caught in the brush by the side of the road. >You turn to look... >And drop the poor pony in shock, which elicits another moan from her. >Where you expected to see a pony's hindquarters and tail, her torso extends further back into the shrubbery, adding some light blue longitudinal striping... >And scales. >Some primal part of your brain reacts in fear to what is clearly an enormous snake. >You prepare to do battle to free the mare from the vicious jaws of the serpent, until you realize that the mare and the serpent are, in fact, one and the same creature. "What the actual ffff...." >Almost a year here now, and this world is still full of surprises. >Your heart races as your fight-or-flight response crashes head-on into your feelings of concern for a suffering creature. >Her eyelids flicker open, briefly, giving you a glimpse of dusky rose-colored irises. >"H-help..." >That single, plaintively-uttered plea gives your concerned mind needed ammunition to win out over your panicked mind, and you return to the creature's side. >No wonder she felt so cold. >This weather definitely can't be good for her. >Having got your heart rate back under control, you carefully pick her up once more and pull her onto the road. >Completely carrying her is not an option. >She must be at least twice as long as you are tall, and she weighs almost as much as you do. "Help is here, just don't eat me or anything." >You wonder who you're trying to reassure. >Fortunately, you are quite close to your home, as you half-carry, half-drag the snake-like pony to relative safety as quickly as you can.   >======<   >By the time you reach your home and open the door, she's gone quiet and still, and you find yourself hoping that you're not too late. >Deciding that the best course of action is to get her warm and dry, you drag her over by your fireplace and carefully set her down. >Just a few glowing coals remain in the hearth, but with the addition of a couple of logs and some vigorous poking, you manage to get a warm fire going again. >Towels. >You're going to need a lot of towels. >As you start wiping the freezing rain from the unconscious pony... snake... thing, you notice that you're dripping water onto her as fast as you're wiping it away. >Your own clothing is soaked through, and for the first time you notice that you're cold and shivering. >First things first. >You can't help someone if you're incapacitated. >So you strip off your sodden jacket and hang it up, and wrap some of the larger towels around her. >Then you head to your bedroom to change into some dry clothes. >A violent sneeze prompts you to add a hot shower to your agenda.   >======<   >You slowly stop shivering as the warm water cascades over you, and a few minutes later you just about feel human again. >After shutting off the water you vigorously towel yourself off, and from force of habit don a pair of sweatpants and a fluffy bathrobe. >You decide you'd better see about your unexpected guest now. >The storm rages outside as you walk back into the living area, only to make a shocking discovery. >She's gone. >Or at least, she's not where you left her. >The storm-blighted light outside is faded, casting sinister shadows throughout your abode. >Did she leave? >Or is she still in your house... somewhere? >A flash of lightning outside is closely followed by a long rumble of thunder. >You wish you had had the presence of mind to light more lights. >There should be matches in the kitchen. >Straining your senses to the utmost, you carefully make your way past the fireplace. >A table in your living room rattles, as though dragged a short distance across the wooden floor. >You were nowhere near it. "Shit." >You practically sprint to your kitchen. >"I-i-iss ss-ssomone there?" a quavering, fearful, feminine voice comes from somewhere in your living room. >You decide not to answer as you fumble through a drawer in your kitchen until you locate your matches. >"Where am I?" the frightened voice yells. >Your own fight-or-flight instincts make a strong comeback as you open the globe on your oil lamp and strike a match. >In the brief flare of the match, you see movement in your living room. >"Who are you?" >The voice sounds positively panicky now, but you're too busy panicking yourself to give it much thought. >You touch the match to the wick, which flares to life with gratifying speed, spreading a warm light as you replace the globe and blow out the match. >Emboldened by the ability to see again, you hold the lamp aloft and peer into your living room. "W-whatever you are, I h-have a gun!" >You don't in fact, but you hope it doesn't know that. >"W-what'ss a gun?" comes the fearful reply. "Sh-show yourself!" >There is a pause. >"No." "Show yourself!" >"No! I... I'm sscared..." >This makes you stop a moment and think. >Two scared creatures in a darkened house. >This could go very badly. "What are you?" >"W-what are you?" >Progress is not being made. >A new tack is called for. "You're in my home." >Another piece of furniture shifts in your living room, and you strain all your senses in that direction, but see nothing. >"H-how did I get here?" >Swallowing turns out to be a very tough thing to do when your throat is this dry. "I carried you." >You edge towards the fireplace, planning to retrieve the poker. >Another furniture noise. >"Aa-are y-you g-going to e-eat me?" >You stop dead in your tracks. "What? No!" >You listen for a response. "I thought you were hurt, and I was trying to help. That's all." >"What are you?" she asks again. >You're rather used to this question actually. >You've been getting it a lot since you arrived in this world. "I'm a human. I'm... not from this world." >You listen for a response, beginning to think that this whole day so far has been a series of very bad decisions. >But there was no way that your conscience would allow you to abandon this creature, whatever it was, if you had the power to help it. "My name is Anonymous. Anon. Everyone I know calls me Anon." >You turn slowly, straining to see something, anything, by the light of your lamp. "Look, I'm sorry if I scared you, but to tell the truth, you scared me. M-maybe we should start again, without trying to frighten each other." >There is a pause. >"Promise you won't eat me?" >You giggle nervously at the ridiculousness of the notion, but it's an easy promise to make. "Yes, I promise not to eat you." >Another pause. >"Okay." >And she slithers out from underneath your couch, where apparently she's been hiding. >Her sudden appearance, not to mention her snake-like appearance, startles you, and you retreat couple of steps. >She stops, then slowly raises her head from the floor, coiling more of her own body about her, until she stands about four feet tall. >Every instinct in you cries out for you to run, but you assert your own will and stand your ground. >Her dusky rose eyes flicker over you fearfully, and she backs away as well. >"M-my name... it'ss Kalianne." >You take a couple of deep breaths before you realize she just introduced herself. >From the top of her head to her midriff she looks just like you would expect a pony to look. >From her midriff down, she looks just like you would expect a snake to look. >The end of her tail rises up and plays nervously with strands of her mane. >"Is that the gun?" she asks, pointing. "What?" >She points again, and you realize that she is pointing at your lamp. "Ah, no. No gun, just a lamp." >Despite the close presence of a fairly large snake, your curiosity begins to assert itself. >You take a step. >She backs up a step. "Are you... scared of me?" >Eyes locked on you, she nods. "Why?" >She tips her head to one side, eyes still locked on you, and her tail plays with her mane some more. >"I-ive never sseen anything like you before... a-and you can command fire..." >This causes you confusion. "Command fire?" >She points to the lamp in your hand again. "The lamp?" >"D-did you make th-that fire too?" >She points at the fireplace this time. >You take another calming, deep breath. "Yes, I did. I made it to... to help you warm up." >"T-to cook me?" "No, not to cook you. I'm not going eat you. I just thought you might be cold." >"Oh," she says, then in a smaller voice, "thank you." >She moves closer to you, causing you to back up a step. >You can see the realization dawn on her face. >"Why are you scared of me?" >You take another deep breath. "Well, I've never seen anything like you either. I mean, you look kind of like a pony, but you also look kind of like a snake." >Her ears prick up. >"Snake?" She asks curiously. "Where I come from, snakes are predators." >Her head does that adorable tilt thing again, as her tail plays with her mane. >A nervous habit, you suspect. >"What's a predator?" "Um, predators are animals that eat other animals to survive." >"Oh. Well, I do eat mice and birds, and sometimes lizards, so I guess I am a... one of those." >Her dusky rose eyes study you once again, and you find yourself doing that dry swallowing trick again. >"I don't think I could eat you though, you're too big." "That's hardly reassuring." >For the first time, a smile crosses her face. >"What if I promise I won't try?" >You study her this time. >That smile is kinda cute, but only kinda, since it allows you to see the sharp teeth that populate her mouth. "I guess I'm prepared to accept that." >"Then I promise I won't eat you, either." >The coils of her long body shift against the floor, bringing her closer to you. >This time you stand your ground. >Her eyes flick nervously over you again, and she tentatively raises one of her hooves. >"Um... m-may I?" >You realize that both you and the snake pony are curious about each other. >So you swallow again, and nod. >Slowly, she reaches out towards you, until her hoof makes contact with your robe. >She flinches, withdrawing her hoof. >"Y-you're real..." "Well of course I'm real..." >She reaches out and touches you again, this time on bare skin where the opening of the robe is. >This time her face lights up. >"And you're warm!" >This time instead of withdrawing she keeps her hoof there, resting lightly on your chest. >You decide to take this as an invitation to return in kind, since you have your own curiosity to satisfy, and you reach a hand towards her. >She flinches slightly, her ears flattening, so you stop. "May I?" >It's only fair. >She asked permission, so should you. >Her eyes now fixed on your hand, she nods. >Her tail rises and plays with her mane again as you slowly move your hand toward her. >You gently pat the top of her head. >Her eyes widen and her ears stand straight up, so you move to one of them and gently scratch. >"You're warm all over...o-o-o-oh, what are you doing?" "I'm sorry, I just-" >"Keep doing it..." She moves closer to you again, and her other hoof joins in carefully feeling your chest. >You ruffle her mane and give her a gentle scratch on the other ear, and she practically melts, leaning against you. >She feels just like a pony, albeit one that could probably stand a good washing. >Her proximity is not nearly as frightening as you thought it would be, especially as her eyelids droop and a blissful smile spreads across her face. >"Oh, you ARE warm all over. It feels... nice. Those hooves of yours feel really nice too." "Hands." >She blinks owlishly at you. >"What?" "They're called hands." >You hold the hand that isn't scratching her ear up for her to see. >Withdrawing her hooves from your chest she gently takes hold of your hand and pulls it closer to her face, examining it curiously. >You feel something brush against your ankle as she pulls your hand closer, as though to take a sniff. >A long, forked tongue flicks out of her mouth and caresses your hand. "What the..." >You snatch your hand back and try to back up, but your feet fail you for some reason, and you crash heavily to the floor instead. >"Oh no! Are you okay?" >Looking at her you immediately see the reason you tripped - her tail is coiled around one of your ankles. >You try to crawl away. "Let me go!" >"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" >Your fear factor rises again as her long body flows over you, effectively pinning you to the ground. >Her face draws even with your own. >"Please don't be angry, it's just that... you're so warm, and I really like warm things!" "What's with that tongue thing! Are you tasting me?" >The concerned look on her face melts into a look of confusion. >"Am I... no, I... I was just curious... my tongue is how I sense things... I'm sorry, I was just curious." >Oh yeah. Jacobson's Organ. You knew that. >You manage to get your breathing under control, until you notice that she is coiling more of herself atop you. "Let me go, please." >"But... but you're so warm, and I..." >She fidgets with her hooves, and the tip of her tail plays with her mane again. >"And I really like warm things..." she finishes more quietly. >Your struggles slow as you get your fear reaction under control. >One of her coils brushes up heavily against Anon Jr., and you note with surprise that you're aroused. >You've heard of the term "fear boner" before, but you'd never actually experienced it. >"I'm sorry, I should have asked. Um... may I?" >Them eyes though. >She has really pretty eyes. >They seem to search yours. >You stop struggling, and tentatively reach a hand towards her face again. >Her eyes flick back and forth between your hand and your face. >Swallowing again, you nod. >Once again, her long, forked tongue flicks out and caresses your hand. >It flicks out again and wraps lightly around one of your fingers. >One of her coils slides over your fear boner. >A third flick over your fingers, and her head tilts to one side again. >"I've definitely never met anything like you before in my life. You're... interesting." "Thank you. Can I get up now please?" >She fidgets again, and you feel her coils shift atop you. >"W-would it... would it be alright if I... Could we just... stay like this, for a little bit?" >Her tail plays with her mane again, and her eyes flick to one side. >If you didn't know better, you'd swear she was flustered, or maybe shy... >"It's just that you're warm, and..." >Her eyes come to rest on your face again. >"And I really like warm things." "Just warm things?" >"Well..." >Her eyes dart away again, and her tail winds itself about a bit of her mane. >"I'd also heard of something called 'cuddling', and... and I've always wanted to try it." >Once more, her dusky rose eyes search yours. >"Can I try it with you?" >You consider. >She might have been living on her own, for all you know. >Is she just that starved for... for affection? "I'll make you a deal." >She blinks at you again. "Let me up, and we can cuddle on the couch, okay?" >Her face lights up with eager anticipation. >"Promise?" "Yeah. It's just that the floor is... hard, and the couch would be more comfortable." >A great, big grin spreads across her face. >"Okay!" >And with that, she slides off of you, one of her coils sliding over Anon Jr. yet again. >You're beginning to question whether she's doing that accidentally or deliberately. >You lever yourself to your feet, and she watches you, still grinning, as you check yourself over. >You're not hurt, just startled, you guess. >The rain continues to drum on your roof as you throw another log onto the fire and stoke it up. >The snake pony makes a noise like an impatient whine as you go to your closet and retrieve a blanket. >You wish you were wearing something more substantial than sweatpants and a robe, but the blanket should help reduce accidental... embarrassing contact. >You settle into your favorite spot on the couch and spread the blanket over your lap. >Finally, screwing your courage to the sticking-place, you look over at the the snake pony and make a "come here" gesture with your hand. >With a barely suppressed squeal of excitement, she immediately stretches out her long body and flows into your lap, settling her hooves against your shoulders. >Her coils pile against your abdomen and thighs, and yes, the blanket does seem to help somewhat. >You are slightly startled to feel the tail end of her wrap twice around your calves. >Clearly, you're not getting up until she decides she's had enough. >Settling herself, she finally leans her barrel, the pony part of her, against your chest with a contented sigh. >"Can you... do that thing with your... with your hands again?" she asks dreamily. >In for a penny, in for a pound, you guess. >You bring your hand up and stroke her mane, then give the space between her ears a gentle scratch. >Once again, she practically melts, her coils shifting as she draws herself closer to you. >"O-o-o-o-oh-mmmmm... yeah, that..." >This actually is kinda comfy. >But something is kinda bugging you. "Hey, what did you say your name was again?" >She nestles herself into your chest with another happy sigh. >"Mmmmhhh... it's Kalianne." "Kalianne..." >You try the name out, rolling it around your mouth a couple of times so you'll remember it. "Kalianne. That's a pretty name." >"Mmm, this is nice. I feel warm... and... something else... something I haven't felt in... well, for a very long time." >You find yourself uttering a word you never expected to hear yourself say in reference to cuddling with a large snake. "Safe?" >Kalianne raises her head and looks at you again. >"What is 'safe'?" "Well, it's... it's how you feel when you feel that nothing is going to hurt you." >Her head tilts to one side quizzically, and then a smile spreads slowly over her face. >"Yeah, safe. That's it." >She lays her head down on your shoulder once more, nuzzling you. >"Thank you." "For what?" >"For making me feel warm... and safe." >You rub that spot between Kalianne's ears again, drawing a sleepy coo from her. "You're welcome, Kalianne." >Comfy couch, cozy fire, living blanket. >As you idly stroke her mane a few times, the inevitable eventually happens. >You both doze off peacefully.   >======<   >Your surprisingly peaceful slumber is invaded by a surprisingly erotic dream. >These sorts of dreams have been a near constant distraction to you, being as you are rather permanently separated from female companionship of your own kind. >Sometimes it's a pony, usually one who has offered you "companionship" or "stress relief" in the past. >Usually alcohol is a trigger, so you don't usually partake. >This time, it's a dream about your girlfriend, back in the world you come from. >She comes to you in your dream, already naked. >As she climbs into your lap and kisses you, she unbuttons your shirt, finally pushing it down off your shoulders. >She presses herself to you, now planting little kisses all over your chest. >God, how you missed her. >She squirms against you in the most sensuous of ways. >She slides down in your lap, tugging at your pants until her prize is revealed. >Anticipating a little oral stress relief, you sigh and get comfortable. >That doesn't feel right. >Your girlfriend is at eye level with your crotch, wearing an absurd anime kitty-face expression as she playfully bats at your straining erection like a cat. >And why does she have auburn hair? >Your girlfriend was a blonde. >Also her eyes are way too large, and colored a dusky rose rather than the blue you remember... >Wait, this is a dream, right? >Conscious memories and dream images intermingle as you sit up and look down... >And see Kalianne staring intently at your erect cock, curiously tapping it with a hoof. >Adrenaline fuels the final rush to consciousness. "KALIANNE!! What the FUCK!!!" >The snake pony starts at the sound of your voice and her eyes meet yours. >"What is this?" "Why the hell are you playing with it?!" >She gives another guilty start. >She is wrapped loosely around your legs, otherwise you would probably have run by now. >"I, uhhmmm... I noticed that your skin was loose, and I thought you might be having trouble shedding..." >She points to your bathrobe which, you now notice, has been largely pushed off of you. >"I thought I could help you with it, since you helped me... but then I got... distracted..." >Her voice gets quieter and quieter and finally trails off. "Are you fucking kidding me? Humans don't molt!" >Her head tilts. "Molt?" >She pokes your member again. >"What is this thing?" "Stop poking it!" >Her long, forked tongue flicks out and wraps briefly around it before withdrawing. >Alright, enough is enough. "Kalianne, that's my penis, now leave it alone!" >Her head tilts to one side again. >"Penis?" >You are dangerously close to loosing your cool. "It's my... it's how I make baby humans!" >Kalianne refocuses her attention on your penis, her eyes widening. >"You lay eggs through that?" "Eggs?! NO!! I fertilize the eggs and then the female... don't you know anything about reproduc... making babies?" >This is not a discussion you want to be having the first thing after waking up. >She tilts her head the other way. >"I don't know... I've never made any?" "That does it. Let me go." >"Did I do something wrong?" "Kalianne, let me up, please!" >"Why? What did I do?" >Does she really not know these things? >You can't find it in your heart to blame her. "I need to use the bathroom, now please let me up?" >Head tilt, and her tail plays with her mane again. >"Bathroom?" >Oh for the love of all things under Celestia's Sun! "I need privacy to do some things, now let me up!" >"Okay," she says meekly, cowed by the sound of your voice, and unwinds herself from your legs. >The moment you're mostly disentangled, you jump up from the couch, pulling your sweatpants and bathrobe back into their proper places. "And Kalianne..." >A slightly downcast snake pony looks back up at you. >"Yes?" "If you see things like this on me, it's because I put them there. Please, leave them there. Understand?" >Head-tilt... "O...kay?" She fidgets with her hooves. "Good." >You take a deep breath and do your best to soften the tone of your voice. "And Kalianne," >"Yes?" "We'll talk some more after I get finished, so please don't go, okay?" >To your relief, she smiles, timidly. >"Okay." >You nod, then turn and head for your bedroom. >You're not lying. >You really do need to use the bathroom. >If nothing else, you're going to take one hell of a cold shower before you explain a few things to Kalianne. >NOTE TO SELF: >Falling asleep with a curious snake pony in your lap is not a good idea.   >======<   >So after another shower and putting on some more respectable clothing... >Which you hope will be harder for a curious snake pony to remove without your permission... >You sat down with Kalianne for an "exchange of ideas" as the storm blew itself out and night began to fall. >You made yourself some tea, and Kalianne asked for some too. >She seemed to like it alright. >You start by laying down your thoughts on personal modesty, which she seems to have no concept of. >The result is a lot of embarrassing questions, which you do your best to answer. >You end up having to explain what a penis is and what it's for. >Awkward. >She's never seen any others like her, except for her mother. >But she hasn't seen her mom in years, and has been mainly living on her own and fending for herself. >She learned to talk by listening to ponies, but when she tried to talk to them herself, they always freaked out and ran away. >That explains her limited vocabulary, you guess. >She tells you you're actually the first being to sit down with her and have a civil conversation that didn't include words like, "HOLY SHIT!  SNAKE!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" "It's getting close to suppertime, would you like something to eat?" >"Um, no thank you, I just ate a raccoon this morning. I won't need to eat again for a while." >That makes you shudder a bit. >"That's how we met, I guess. I was on my way back to my burrow when the rains came, and I started having trouble moving. It happens sometimes." >You stir your pot absently, wondering how to ask your next question. >There's no tactful way to do it, so you just go for it. "Did you bite the raccoon to kill it?" >"No, just to hold on to it. I squeezed it till it stopped moving." >So she's not venomous, she's a constrictor. >That's kinda a load off your mind. >Still, as a constrictor she's big enough to do you some damage. >But she did promise that she wouldn't try to eat you, so there's that. >The weather is cooling off in the wake of the storm, so you put another log on the fire to help both of you keep warm. >"Anon, what's a monster?" >The simple question makes you pause, and you turn to look at the inquisitive snake pony. "Where did you hear that word?" >Her tail rises up and begins playing with her mane again. >"Well, once I found two smaller ponies playing in a field. I guess they were... children?" >You nod silently, and encourage her to continue. >"It was before I knew a lot of words, but I wanted to learn, so I tried to talk to them, and... they didn't run away." >Children the world over tend to be friendly and inquisitive, until they learn otherwise. >"I didn't understand a lot of what they said to me, but for the first time in my life, I felt... I don't know, a sense of making contact?" "I imagine they were very curious, a lot like you are now." >Her head tilts to one side, her "thinking pose". >"Maybe. But it didn't last. A larger pony came out and yelled at them, and they left me." >You see a shadow of sadness cross Kalianne's face. >"The larger pony said, 'get away from that monster'. I couldn't help but think she meant me." >Kalianne turns her eyes to you now, and the expression on her face almost breaks your heart as the questions tumble out of her. >"Did she mean me? Am... am I a monster? Is a monster something bad?  Does... that mean that I'm bad?" >She starts to cry. >Oh god, your heart. >You walk over to the couch and gently wrap your arms around her and stroke her mane. >Kalianne may be an adult for all you can tell, but her mind is still very child-like, colored only by her experiences. "Monster is a word people sometimes use for something they don't understand." >Kalianne's forehooves slide around your waist and she pulls you close, sniffling into your chest. "Ponies are also herbivores... they only eat plants, so I guess creatures that eat animals frighten them. It took them a long time to get used to me." >She turns her head to look up at you. >"You eat animals too?" "Yes. Well, meat and plants. When I'm in town I avoid eating meat, because it unsettles some ponies." >You give her a scratch between her ears, and she nuzzles your chest. "But now that I've gotten to know you, I don't think of you as a monster. Though I freely admit, your appearance startled me at first." >You put a finger under her chin and lift her face up so she can look in your eyes. "And I don't think you're bad. So you shouldn't think you're bad either, okay?" >She makes a long, drawn-out sniffle, then nods her head at you. >You ruffle her mane again. "Good girl." >Her tail slides around your waist as well, deepening the hug. "Umm, I'd better go stir my stew again, or it'll burn." >Her hooves and her tail tighten their grip on you. "Umm, Kalianne--" >"Just a little longer, please."