I don't want to be patient if it won't get me anywhere.
Upon the afternoon of the day the moon passed in front of the sun, I developed a prying might unlike anything I felt in the past. My heart leaped around in my chest and my bare eyes were burning as I snuck glances at the event. I managed to decipher the details, especially after I shut my eyes and the remnants of the shapes and figures of what I saw remained in my field of view. I videotaped the event as well.
But in the midst of my acting upon my ambitions, my eyes began to feel intense pain, and my eyesight itself started to leave me.
It was then I heard the voice of what I presume was probably God or something in my head, telling me to apologize to someone whom I recently had a really bad altercation with. Telling me to seek them out and offer them peace of mind. To say that I didn't mean the things I said and that I still see them as a friend. That I took things too far like I do more often than I should. That I should promise to him that I will do that and carry out the action immediately. Only then would he save my eyesight.
I said I will NEVER beg or plea to. I will never apologize for something I do not feel sorry about. I will NOT beg. And my eyesight came back within a few minutes. I ended up borrowing a stranger's eclipse viewing glasses to watch the event as it was at it's maximum coverage for my area. I witnessed first hand the orange crescent of the sun that is now a memory that will be burned into my mind as long as I have a consciousness.
I went back home and bestowed my eyes upon everything I had ever done, my head starting to throb from a migraine. Been thinking REALLY REALLY hard ever since then. I've used up my whole vocabulary, all of my ideas, everything I could have dished out there. I've fooled myself into thinking that I'd just get a lot of people to care about something I did. There were but a few, but that appears to have been the limit. I don't want to jump through all these hoops to extremely slowly get more people see, let alone enjoy, anything I do. It's not worth the effort. I had all these innovative things that I think a lot of people would have been enjoyed, but there's hardly anyone around to see it. It's just going to be wasted into the obscurity of a tiny effect then being stagnant until I delete it. And if I ever do finally get to the point where something I do is realized enough, I won't have any good ideas left. All I'd have left is some cookie cutter BS to entertain the then existent masses with. And the things I wanted them to see, the visions that I put my heart into, will just be largely glossed over.
Today, I have finally stopped thinking after these couple of days. Something impactful crossed my mind once again. I realized that when I