Title:           For that one anon, you know who you are.
Author:          spunkinponuts
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/mxTjid4M
First Edit:      Monday 7th of March 2016 04:34:28 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 7th of March 2016 04:34:28 AM CDT

For that one faggot from /nst/.
Written because I have nothing better to do.
Please remember that this is nothing more than a hypothetical scenario, put in writing for the hell of it.
 
 
At 10:23, after earlier ingesting several lines of amphetamine, a lot of alcohol and 1.5 ecstasy pills (http://www.pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=32874), I returned to my bed after smoking a very fat joint.
 
A friend of mine (let's call him ''A'') had called me several hours prior while panicking on his trip home, telling me he needed someone to talk to because he ''wasn't sure he exists.'' He reported open eye hallucinations; seeing ghost cars drive by, an old man turning into a skeleton as he walked by and police officers on patrol ''not having souls.''
 
After several hours of talking, he finally ended the call, still clearly scared but showing a desire to ''take them (the hallucinations) on by himself.''
 
At 10:26, I suddenly lost most of my fine motor skills and noticed that my thoughts were racing by too quickly to get a grip on.
I felt strong paranoia (an effect cannabis usually has on me, except never on this level) coupled with a sleep-paralysis-esque feeling of something being very wrong (mind you, I was completely unprepared for the effects.)
Physically, the effects were again like those of cannabis, except amplified.
Every nerve ending was incredibly sensitive and my heart was pounding like crazy.
My body, and especially my head, felt very heavy, powerless and hot, and I lost most of my fine motor skills, along with my mouth feeling like a desert.
Walking was difficult, but manageable. Speech was disjointed and stilted. Writing was near-impossible, my typing too slow and my thoughts disappearing too quickly for me to record.
 
Any attempted sentences turned out to be a mangled combination of letters whenever I tried to write, my thoughts racing too fast for me to remember what I was trying to write or what certain words even meant.
This lead to me making up my own combinations of letters to substitute words I'd forgotten.
The results turned out absolutely nonsensical, and disturbed me deeply for some reason.
 
Hallucination-wise, the OEV's weren't too shocking.
Any surfaces I focused on exploded in fluorescent, Mandelbrot-esque fractals, moving like ripples in water. Objects in the edge of my FOV seemed to vibrate, stretch and disappear constantly.
Regarding other people (two close friends sleeping in the same room, little sister, her friends and BF), the hallucinations weren't particularly visual, instead manifesting as (scarily) convincing delusions and beliefs. A person in the same room could change from a friend, to a ''demon'', to a potential blood-thirsty attacker, and back again.
 
I occasionally heard disembodied voices, knocks, distant mortar shelling and heavy footsteps, despite the noise-cancelling headphones I wore later.
However, the most common auditory hallucinations were strong distortions of voices and music, both spoken and recorded. When my sister was trying to converse with me regarding my wallet and borrowing money for food, her voice sounded like a ''hive of insects'' speaking (when I heard her talk, I immediately knew it sounded like a hive of insects chittering and rubbing chitinous wings together at the same time. The only comparison I can think about is a hollow, incredibly fast, multitoned shuffling sound, like how two smooth pieces of plastic rubbing together sound, multiplied by a thousand and amplified.)
But more on that later.
 
Tactile hallucinations were similar to those experienced during sleep paralysis, but mostly felt when keeping my eyes open. Feelings of unseen presences in the room with me and animals walking on the bed and climbing on my body.
 
 
 
Anyway, a bit after the first hallucinations started appearing I finally realized that I was tripping, and quite heavily at that. I'd never done hallucinogens before (despite an interest), mostly sticking to amphetamines, MDMA and related drugs.
If not for the cannabis-induced lethargy, I probably would have reacted in a different way.
Instead, I acknowledged that I was tripping balls, that I should definitely not try to fight back, and that, whatever happens, I'd have something interesting to talk about.
 
For some reason, however, a few minutes after realizing just how fucked up I was I decided that listening to a hypnosis video would be a good idea.
I'd tried some Bluefast (Rarafag, though) hypno videos while sober, but never experienced anything more than a tingly feeling in my extremities.
I was adamant about not picking anything too ''heavy'' (as in, slave/baby/sissy hypnosis videos) since I was not completely sure how much the hypnosis would impact me.
I decided to go with the tried and tested, and after roughly five minutes of concentrated typing, I managed to find a RD hypno video (the first result in Google IIRC, 11:47 long)
 
My first reaction was a physical rush of terror and adrenaline, as an advertisement with a bear growling as it tips a small wooden shack played (My mother would always tell me to not use the word ''bear'' as saying it's name would summon the creature, according to old beliefs.)
 
The next couple minutes I paced around the kitchen, trying to relax. I still have no idea why the bear and it's growling upset me so much. However, it might have been the most terrifying experience in my entire life
 
After smoking a cigarette while sitting on the kitchen table, I felt fortified enough to go back to Youtube. I cozied up under the sheets and popped the headphones in, not quite sure what to expect.
 
The differences were fairly subtle at first. The woman's voice seemed to have richer tones, a deeper tone to the bass, and in the pauses between words I thought I heard some faint binaural beats or similar noises. I am still unsure whether I imagined them or not, and prefer to keep it that way.
Still, the differences weren't all that huge.
 
That's when I closed my eyes for the first time after starting the trip.
The visuals were breathtaking. All the colors of the rainbow moved in constantly evolving patterns, the colors constantly changing.
My thoughts, almost uncontrollable at this point, created connections between unrelated things, just to discard the idea in pursuit of another one milliseconds later.
I remember feeling overjoyed, happy enough to cry and laugh and want to spread this feeling to all my friends.
I remember feeling overwhelming pride when i realized that all this was inside my own head, in my own imagination, and that my imagination was beautiful, even when I couldn't control it.
Please note that I did acknowledge the effects of the drugs, but felt that they were just the key to a gate inside my head, where all this had been locked away for all my life.
 
It was at this point the woman in the video started telling me to relax.
Her voice had been different before, but by now it was completely unrecognizable. It was somehow both demonic and motherly, with an innate gentleness that promised total safety and comfort as long as I followed her orders to relax.
I couldn't shake the feeling that if I didn't follow her instructions, she'd trap me inside my head until I obeyed.
Not that I could've even moved without considerable mental exertion.
 
One thing I noticed was that my entire body became incredibly hard to move whenever I closed my eyes, again very reminiscent of sleep paralysis. I could move my limbs, but I had to mentally prepare myself, and for quite some time I didn't really see any point in moving or even opening my eyes. The world that I found behind my eyelids was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and I was in no hurry to leave.
 
The woman's voice (or voices), one deep and demonic and the other feminine and sweet echoed through my head, most of her words completely unrelated to each other but still perfectly understandable. It seemed like my body relaxed whatever muscle it was ordered to automatically, without any input from me.
I was awed by the power the woman wielded over me, and felt incredibly grateful that she didn't try to hypnotize me to do violent acts, since I was almost certain I'd do anything she ordered me to do.
 
Withe every passing second, my physical body seemed to sink further and further into the mattress, the ''mindscape'' (what I named the colorful, chaotic expanse inside my head) growing clearer all the time.
The woman's words and the odd, hypnotic drones and noises also started having a noticeable effect on the ''mindscape'', with the colors and patterns becoming less chaotic, connecting with each other to form something reminiscent of a massive, multicoloured, shifting vault.
In the center of the ceiling, the woman's head appeared, a constantly morphing face that despite it's fluctuations, always conveyed the idea of what a woman should look like (If there's anything I could compare it to, a SHODAN-esque face that constantly changes it's color and features would probably be the closest I could get.)
 
At this point, everything started to get really trippy, really fast. My head felt like it was throwing frontflips in the way it does when I'm really drunk and close my eyes, with a kind of rocking feeling through my whole body. I felt how I breached a new layer of my subconscious with every completed spin, each it's own universe where I existed as a completely different being.
Language, having already lost progressively more and more of it's context and meaning, was now a string of letters and symbols and changed to a completely new language every time I completed another spin.
Not only that, but the woman and her voice changed, too.
One universe made her a gigantic ant queen who used her hive for communication, the insects using their wings and shells to create something similar to Morse code mixed with sharp chittering.
Another spin, and she was an orange Play-Doh flower, softly humming her messages to me.
 
Language finally lost all meaning (I had some odd thoughts about language that I'll attach to the bottom of this paste), and I went to a new plane of my subconscious faster than I could process the peculiarities of the previous. Waves of pleasure surged constantly through my body, and my heart felt like it was going to burst from happiness.
The woman, her voice now gentle and female without any undertones, instructed me to grow new appendages just so I could relax them, and I felt my body complying, my conscious mind having lost all control over my physical body.
 
In hindsight, I'll assume that this was the point in the video where the actual hypnosis began.
The woman talked to me about rainbows and my beautiful, prismatic hair, and the face in the ''ceiling'' of the mindscape was joined by an image of Rainbow Dash, the colors inside my mind adopting a vibrant cyan tint, with streaks of color like those of RD's mane and  tail flying in intricate patterns everywhere.
 
As the woman spoke about how beautiful my hair was, I distinctly remember thinking that my hair was beautiful and amazing, and that I should feel proud for having such beautiful, colorful hair.
The woman and Rainbow Dash were joine by RD's cutie mark, everything suddenly turning completely black, so that only the cutie mark was visible.
 
For an unspecified amount of time, I laid in place, feeling my arms and legs briefly turn into hooves and back again, the mindscape slowly adopting a darker, more somber tone.
The spinning continued, my mind breaching a new layer every second. However, with every breach, the inhabitants of the breached layers attacked the small, glowing humanoid that represented me. The humanoid fought, and well at that.
Try as he might, however, the dozens of new warriors joining the fray every second made the battle impossible to win.
 
Please note that I had no concept of time while keeping my eyes closed, but I strongly suspect that the video had already ended and that the voice of the woman and the constant, hypnotic noises were just auditory hallucinations.
 
At this point, probably the oddest feeling I'd felt during the entire trip came over me.
The woman continued to speak, but everything she talked about became a lot more sexual, every word charged with sexual energy.
I was nervous and confused. My representation was still being attacked by the armies of the mindscapes and I was genuinely worried for it (him? me?)
Somehow, a hypnosis video being this charged with innuendo seemed wrong to me (as I wrote earlier, I am still convinced that the video ended a while ago, and that the continued suggestions were hallucinations.)
 
Suddenly, a kind of ''tugging'' feeling enveloped my penis, and slowly but surely, I felt my penis split and form into labia majora, the sensation quite unexpected but still interesting.
All this time the woman had been whispering sexually charged things into my ear in the same alphabet soup-like language she'd used for so long. I distinctly heard a few words that I deemed to be universally recognizable, all of them either slang for genitalia or sex.
Somehow, this was the most arousing thing I'd ever heard, but I was still growing increasingly nervous.
 
My subconscious clearly didn't want me to see more, and my constantly morphing genitals didn't do anything to ease my mind.
I decided to leave my mind and go back to the real world, and mentally braced myself for the change.
The woman started pleading with me, begging me to stay, the face in the roof having shrunk noticeably.
I ignored her and finally mustered up enough strength to sit up and open my eyes.
 
The room was fairly normal. As before, faint fractals rippled on any point I focused on, but it was nowhere near the overstimulation of keeping my eyes closed. I felt kind of confused when I took a look at the clock and my notes, saw that I'd started watching the video at 10:35, and figured out that I'd laid in the bed for roughly 40 (?) minutes after the video had ended.
 
 
The rest of my trip wasn't particularly /mlp/-related. I tried taking another journey, this time with music, but couldn't really find the right ''vibe'', so to speak.
 
Also woke up my friend after a minor panic attack and tried to make him understand that I was tripping balls. He seemed really confused and fell asleep during my explanation so I decided to just let it be.
 
 
(Here's what I remember about my thoughts on language, mentioned earlier. Recorded for posterity and the WTF-factor.)
Not only did voices change, but language evolved constantly. In one of my more ''trippy'' moments, I became convinced that existing languages are entirely cultural structures. A truly universal language wasn't fettered by rules of grammar or a set of words, instead being completely abstract, with every user creating and breaking new rules until no two people speak the same way. This would allow everybody to convey truly abstract ideas to each other, since words and sentence structures are just dungeons for ideas and concepts. With this ''abstract language'', everybody could create words that embody various concepts and ideas in the (subjectively) best way possible. Any misunderstandings would be solved with a form of ''innate understanding'', i.e ideas and concepts being telepathically transmitted whenever the sound used to convey the message was close enough to the speaker's subjective opinion of how the idea is best represented in sound. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idea)