Title:           Things Anon is Banned from Doing in Equestria
Author:          spoop
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/LCLe34HX
First Edit:      Monday 10th of November 2014 02:32:53 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 10th of November 2014 03:47:55 PM CDT

>Anon is banned from any event that involves cheese wheel rolling, EVEN IF he founds the event himself
>Anon is banned from the children's playground. The excuse of 'not having a childhood in Equestria' is no exception, and any future dismantling of the play structures to free him will be at his expense
>Anon is no longer allowed to reference any pony or other sentient being, but particularly Rainbow Dash, as 'a tactile journey'
>Anon is also banned from using the Socratic method on ponies and causing them to have an existential crisis.
>Anon is banned from inserting his fingers into ponies.
>Anon is banned from adding items to his list of his bans.
>While we are understanding of his frustration, Anon is banned from plotting to crash an airship into Canterlot
>While we are impressed by his creativity, Anon is banned from plotting to crash the moon into Canterlot
>While we are moved by his philosophical viewpoint, Anon is banned from plotting to crash Canterlot into itself
>Anon is banned from random out of context hugs.
>Anon is banned from initiating hugs.
>Anon is banned from hugging ponies from the back as a method to mate.
>Anon is banned from trying to mate with ponies that do not want to do so.
>Anon is no longer allowed to scream "I CAME" randomly in public places
>Anon is not allowed to go up to unicorns and rub their horns and ask for "magic mayonnaise"
>Anon is no longer allowed within 500 meters of Discord, as interaction between the two always leads to catastrophic results
>Anon is not allowed to play flugelhorns in front if Fluttershy's cottage
>Anon is not allowed to stick things on unicorn horns for his convenience or amusement, such as using them as coat hangers, places to stick notes on for "later reminders", or to use them as "secret magical orange juicers"
>Anon is not allowed to chase Fluttershy while chanting "SWIGGITY SWOOTY I'M COMING FOR THAT BOOTY"
>Rarity is no longer allowed to make and sell fedora at her store, because if Anon gets possession of one, he causes public disorder by harassing mares, repeatedly saying things like "M'LADY" then proceeding to tip his fedora at them
>Anon is not allowed to purchase spray paint, or else he will spray paint crudely drawn offensive images all around town
>Anon is forbidden from jerking it in public.
>Anon is no longer allowed to posses the beverage "Sunny D" while in the presence of Princess Celestia
>Anon is no longer allowed to follow Rainbow Dash and randomly exclaim "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"
>Anon is no longer allowed to make puns involving the word "ogre"
>Anon is no longer allowed to possess any of the elements as his own personal jewelry.
>Anon is no longer allowed to mention "john madden" in social company.
>Anon is no longer allowed to attempt to chip off parts of crystal ponies to cool his drink.
>Anon is to be reminded that Princess Cadence's name is Cadence and not any form of the term 'candy ass'
>Anon is to be locked inside his house when the Princesses visit town
>Anon is no longer allowed inside the spa
>Anon must be in his house after 10pm each day until he promises to stop "playing the song of his people" in the middle of the streets at midnight
>Rape dollars is not a valid currency
>"Cow tipping" is not a valid pass time
>Anon is not allowed to grab ponies' possessions and hiding them places, like Applejack's hat
>For the love of Celestia, keep him away from the gates of Tartarus
>Bottle caps are not a valid currency
>Anon is banned from making any motion to create apple cider
>Anon is banned coming within 10 feet of the royal guards
>Anon is banned from moving around train cars because he is "bored"
>Anon is banned from asking unicorns if they want to "touch horns"
>Anon is banned from forcefully "touching horns" with unicorns when they've clearly told him to get lost
>Anon is banned from chasing after mares with a bullwhip and a cowboy hat while screaming the lyrics to 'America the Beautiful'
>Anon is banned from chasing after mares period.
>Anon is banned from ever expressing himself creatively.
>Anon is not allowed to come inside of Rainbow Dash.
>Trips confirm that Anon is not allowed to shout "check it" any time he sees repeating digits.
> Anon is not allowed to use our Princess's bum to play the bongos, no matter how catchy the rhythm could be.
> Anon isn't allowed to bond with Spike anymore, or at least until he stop teaching him how to belch the alphabet.
> Anon isn't allowed to break into Mayor Mare's office screaming "OGABOOGABOOGA NEGROS!" anymore.
> Anon isn't allowed to use the word "Dickbutt" as an adverb anymore.
> Under any circumstance, Anon mustn't be allowed to participate into political debates with diplomats from the Gryphon Kingdom, or at least until he learns that saying "U mad?" at an already enraged representative is a really bad idea.
>Anon is no longer allowed to give codenames to fillies in their baseball games. This caused much confusion as to who was on first base.
>No pony is to tell Anon knock-knock jokes.
>Ponies are to ignore Anon's claims that he is the one who knocks.
>Anon is also not any form on "danger"*
>Anon is no longer allowed to order more than 2 pizzas from a store. If you are to find a pizza on your roof at any time, notify a nearby guard.
>Anon is not allowed to go into Sugarcube Corner and repeatedly comment on how odd it is that the Cakes are both Earth ponies but mysteriously have a pegasus and unicorn baby.
>Anon is no longer allowed to comment on the alleged similarity in appearance between said infants and unicorn and pegasus passers-by.
>Anon is no longer allowed to go into Sugarcube Corner and repeatedly mispronounce Pinkie Pie's name.
>Anon is not authorized to bestow the title of princess upon anyone
>Anon is banned from accusing anyone of being a changeling
>Anon is not allowed to discuss "how awesome it was" when the library was destroyed with Princess Twilight
>Anon is not allowed to assist any fillies or colts in getting their cutie marks
>Anon is banned from insulting anypony's mother
>Anon is banned from teaching foals "The Penis Game"
>Anon is banned from playing the penis game in public
>Anon is banned from shouting "That's what she said" during town meetings
>Anon is banned from drop-kicking Snips and yelling "One small step for ponykind"
>Anon is banned from "implying" things.
>Anon is banned from referring to things as "beta"
>Should Anon be spotted "ninjaing in the night", he is the be reported to the nearest guard.
>Human Impedance Act #834: Anon Y. Mous is not to be within 65 feet of Princess Celestia, those two have a weird effect on each other.
>If one witnesses Anon Y. Mous within the above-mentioned distance of the princess, inform the nearest guard.
>If one witnesses Anon Y. Mous and Princess Celestia openly communicating with each other or heading for empty rooms/rooms closed off to the public, one must immediately call out "Defcon A" loudly and clearly before taking cover under sturdy, heavy objects.
>Anon is not to be trusted with any form of hammer, be it solid or inflatable, unless under direct supervision.
>Anon is not to swing any object with "ban" crudely painted on the object in question.
>Anon is not to picket other ponies' lawns with signs saying "no fun allowed" or any other sign of that nature.
>Anon is not to address anyone by the term ___fag. This includes: Twifag, Dashfag, McDonaldFad, VoodooFag, or in one case of the pony Braeburn: FagFag.
>Anon is also not to refer to himself as ___Fag.
>Anon is also not to refer to himself as "OP" at any time.
>Anon is not allowed.
>Anon is no longer allowed within 500 yards of the Ponyville schoolhouse. This also includes methods of communication visible from that distance, the use of which Anon could use to teach more rude words and/or gestures to the colts & fillies.
>Sugarcube corner is a privately owned business and reserves the right to refuse service and/or the use of their baking equipment, however vibration-y it may be, to anyone.
>Anon is no longer permitted to stage "Orange Pride" rallies through or near Sweet Apple Acres
>Any business or individual caught selling duct tape to Anon will be cited and fined.
>Anon is no longer allowed to mention the term "Branding" to the public
>Anon has been briefed in regards to Spike the Dragon's magical document sending ability. Any attempt by him to utilize any orifice of Spike's for "research purposes" will be deemed as an act of assault and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of equestrian law.
>Anon is not allowed to wear an eyepatch, look through a telescope, and shout "Avast! Fluttershy's ass!" whenever Fluttershy passes by.
>Anon is banned from falsely claiming that his restraining order has been revoked
>Anon is no longer allowed to ride on pegasi, even if it is to fulfill his "childhood dream of flying"
>Anon is banned from sneaking behind guards while crouching to get his "stealth level" up
>Anon is no longer allowed to accuse ponies of "homosexual behavior"
>Anon is no longer allowed to regale ponies with stories about his hot monkey dick in public
>Anon is banned from seeing Discord
>Anon is no longer allowed to slur "ayy lmao" at changelings
>Anon is no longer allowed to possess pornographic material, even if they are "homemade"
>Anon is banned from teaching chemistry (please instruct fellow citizens that mixing bleach and ammonia is a bad idea).
>Anon is banned from using the word "nigger", although we're still not quite sure what it means, it's likely bad given the context clues.
>Anon is to be ignored if he asks for cheese pizza
>Anon is banned from repeating the word "chikun" and making odd faces at Scootaloo
>Anon is banned from kicking in residential doors and exclaiming "IT ONLY TOOK ME EIGHT SECONDS! WHY DON'T YOU OWN A GUN?"
>Anon is banned from talking about "hot, nazi bitches" in public.
>Anon is banned from offering the removal of a pony's virginity as a "service I (anon) provides"
>Anon is banned from making puns. Ever.
>Anon is banned from buying more than two quarts of lubricant of any type at one time.
>Anon is banned from applying lubricant to any surface used by the public. Especially the town bridge.
>Anon is banned from harvesting blue joke, using blue joke, or concentrating blue joke.
>Anon is banned from buying or possessing peanut butter. Just ask Fluttershy.
>Anon is no longer allowed to go near the everfree forest or any such substantial flammable are with the tools to make fire
>Anon is no longer allowed near any form of pyrotechnics
>Anon is banned from possessing anything capable of making a fire or explosion
>Anon is banned from teaching sex ed classes without a license
>Anon is banned from acquiring a sex ed license
>Anon is not to go within a twenty meter radius from Twilight's wings
>Anon is not to go within a ten meter radius from Flash Sentry
>Anon is not to use the terms "season 1&2" and "pandering" at all times, whatever they mean
>Anon is no longer allowed to attempt to start a casual conversation
>Anon is banned from throwing odd spheres at random ponies screaming about "shinies", "hidden abilities", or "horde training."
>Anon is banned from calling Flash Sentry a "waifu thief"
>"You will never use the phrase "you will ever..." again."
> Anon is banned from standing slightly more than ten meters away from Flash Sentry and directing thrown or otherwise launched objects at him
> Anon is banned from claiming he is a licensed physician, apothecary, psychiatrist, teacher, construction boss or SCUBA instructor unless he earns an accredited license in any above said field in any Equestria institution
>Anon is no longer allowed to "break bad", whatever that means.
>"Ain't nothing to it, gangsta rap made me (always anon) do it" is never a valid excuse to break the law.
>Anon is banned from asking Zecora when she wants to start cooking as well as calling her "bitch" after he asks.
>Anon is banned from "looking for the right kind of frogs" and then licking them.
>Anon is banned from beating war drums in the distance at dusk.
>Anon is banned from asking where the "mexicans is at" to find a "weed connect"
>Anon is banned from suggesting waterboarding as a form of interrogating "suspected changelings". The suggestion has been rejected many times now in town hall meetings ever since he explained it.
>Anon is banned from making "tulpae" of residents. It is making everyone uncomfortable.
>Anon is banned from sexual intercourse with his supposed "tulpae" in public. Heftier fines will be leveled against him should he shout out their names while doing it as it's almost always a violation of the previous ban.
>Anon is banned from possessing mouthwash. He'll just have to wait until cider season like the rest of us.
>Anon is banned from claiming anypony as his "waifu"
>Anon is banned from "drilling for oil so that I (he) can beat us in the coming industrial revolution" whatever that means.
>Anon is banned from "defending his oil rich territory" with improvised explosives. He's renting anyway.
>Anon is banned from claiming he has a theoretical degree in physics.
>Anon is banned from asking unicorns to create "UV" light so that everyone can "see his masterpiece".
>Anon is banned from attempting to domesticate parasprites in an attempt to "go green".
>Anon Y. Mous is not to show unwillingness to be a productive and friendly member of society
>Anon Y. Mous is not to show open hostility towards inanimate objects
>Anon is not allowed to respond to conversation by shouting "HOLY SHIT, A TALKING HORSE" after every sentence
>anon is banned from speaking about any sexual fetishes he might have
>Fluttershy is banned from asking Anon in-depth questions about human mating antics, as his (assumedly) false and misleading answers seem to distress her
>Anonymous and Pinkamena Diane Pie are banned from trying to start a rap group together
>Anonymous is banned from taverns during happy hour
>Anonymous is to be escorted away if he is seen trying to say the words "John Madden" to Princess Luna
>Anonymous is not allowed to scribble his name on the ballots the day before city elections are supposed to be held
>Anonymous is not allowed to grow, harvest, or sell any form of cannabis as it is damaging to crops and its odor is unpleasant to ponies
>Anonymous is not allowed to use said plant for recreational purposes. Why he insists on the use of it is beyond me
 
>It is counted as harassment should Anonymous do or say any of the following:
>-Accuse unicorns of witchcraft
>-Refer to a certain family of ponies as "marshmallows"
>-Attempt to have a Mr. Spike The Dragon send naked pictures to Princess Celestia or any other government official
>-Make comments about the sexual preferences of inanimate objects that bother him
>-Sneaking behind homosexual pony couples and exclaiming "now kiss"
 
>Anon is not to add any more rules to his own list of bans, although why he would want to is strange enough.
>Yes Anon, I know it's you. I doubt Twilight would misspell her own name.
>Lyra is not allowed to be within forty feet of Anon at any time, regardless of Anons preferences to the contrary
>Anon is to cease calling Princess Twilight Sparkle "Scruffy" or repetitively saying "She does it for free."
>Anonymous is banned from any phrase preceded by the word 'muh'
>Anonymous is banned from 'attacking the matriarchy'
>Anonymous is not allowed to participate in the debate of ANY social issues.
>Anonymous is to be placed under arrest upon the slightest utterance of 'misandry'
>Anonymous is banned from tipping a fedora
>Anonymous is banned from owning a fedora
>Anonymous is banned from saying 'Y-You too...' out of context.
>Anonymous is banned from wearing a mask on planes
>Anonymous is banned from randomly yelling out "CRASHING THIS PLANE WITH NO SURVIVORS!" on any form of passenger aircraft
>Anonymous is banned from shouting the phrase, "The ride never ends.", period.
>Anonymous is banned from referencing skeletons in any way.
>Anonymous is banned from referring to one "Pinkamena Diane Pie" as anything other than her legally given name, or commonly known nickname, "Pinkie"
>Anon is banned from saying "for you" as a response in a conversation, unless it is appropriate for the conversation
>He is also banned from referring to others as "big guy"
>Anonymous is banned from requesting that Twilight "Dress up as Big Boss again."
> While it was a birthday gift, Anon is not allowed to wear his 'bane mask' outside of costumed parties, as it scares fillies and those of weak temperament
>Anon is banned from 'booping' sentient beings on the nose with his finger or any other body part
>Any claims made by Anonymous that run along the lines of "I am CIA." are to be ignored
>Anonymous is not allowed to mock the guards and ask them about their paychecks for "ruining the fun" around Canterlot. For the record, the guards do not "do it for free".
>Anonymous is banned from pulling out a picture of a banana holding it's peel and laughing uncontrollably at it.
>Anonymous is banned from leaving numerous pictures of the previously mentioned banana with the words "all yours, my friend" scribbled on it.
>Anonymous is banned from suggesting rape as a solution to a problem
>Anonymous is not allowed to point at house numbers which end in the same digit and say "Nice dubs" or "Check 'em"
>Anonymous is banned from saying "ayy lmao" anytime he overhears the word "alien"
>Anonymous is banned from telling groups of ponies that they cannot bring friends whenever he is boarding a plane.
>Anonymous is banned from pinning a note which says "ur a faget" on the town bulletin board, which he has done on a daily basis.
>Anonymous is banned from going into the Halloween costume store and saying "Thanks, Mr. Skeltal" to the skeleton costumes.
>Anon is not allowed to enter spas and ask clients if they will die if he removes their mud-masks
>Anon is banned from hiding under a box trying to sneak to Princess Celestia's chamber, just to be catched and screaming BOSS multiple times.
>Anon is banned from singing.
>Anon is banned from saying any nickname for mare genitalia in public.
>Anonymous is banned from repeatedly shouting "the best" whenever he overhears said phrase in public.
>Anonymous is banned from responding to a phrase containing a noun with the verb "big" with "for you"
>Anonymous is banned from trying to make Pinkie Pie say "Put your dick in it!"
>Anonymous is no longer allowed to repeatedly scream "Giddy up" whenever he attends a soccer match.
>Anon is banned from yelling "Objection" in a courtroom
>Anon is banned from 'firing his lazor'
>anon is banned from calling fluttershy 'sluttershy'
>anon is not allowed to ask filthy rich if he's "batman"
>anon is also banned from claiming "i'm [anon] batman"
>anon is not allowed around minors without parental supervision
>Anonymous is banned from shouting "Rules of Nature." in any lyrical format.
>Anonymous is banned from calling himself legion
>Anonymous is banned from claiming he doesn't forgive or forget
>Anonymous is no longer allowed to let other ponies know they must expect him
>Anonymous is banned from berating ponies for being 'new'
> Anon is banned from possessing bubble bath solution while within fifty (50) meters from any public waterway, fountain, drinking fountain or restroom, unless it is completely packed away at all times.
>Anonymous did not, in fact, invent the moon, any claims disputing this are to be reported to the guard.
>Anonymous is hereby prohibited from unzipping his pants and exposing his erect genitalia in public, claiming it's a serious disease which can only be cured if a female pony orally, vaginally or anally stimulates it enough to remove the white fluids from inside of it
>anon is banned from asking if shining armor thinks the tea is "bomb ass"
>anon is banned from giving anyone "the finger"
>anon is not allowed to ask if 'mayonnaise is an instrument"
>anon is not allowed to refer to couples as his "otp" or refer to couples as "trash"
>Anonymous is banned from responding to pony's opinions with "into the trash it goes"
>Anon is banned from having cigarettes, toothpicks, lollipops, hay stalks, or similar object stick out of his mouth
>Anon is not allowed to loiter around the arcade if he is not using their machines
>Anon is now allowed to wear any garment made with the use of animal parts
>While not illegal for him to do so, be aware that he (Anon) is in possession of a mane comb that bares a striking resemblance to a small knife
>Anon may or may not style his mane in a puffy manner in order to appear more menacing
>Anon is extra banned from doing any combination of the above
>Anonymous is banned from asking Fluttershy if she can guess his fetish
>Anon in banned for drawing phalluses in every mirror he sees .
>Anon is banned from trying to preach a new religion revolving a "Lauren Faust" creature.
>Anon is banned for saying "remove zigger" every time he encounters a zebra.
>anon is no longer allowed to claim that "no one expects the spanish inquisition"
>anon is not allowed to use "basic human rights" as an excuse to break any rule
>anon is not to mention gravity
>Anon is banned from owning eggs
>Anon is banned from taking any homeless ponies home
>Anonymous is banned from asking other ponies to watch his chocolate milk
>Anonymous is banned from the pool, on account of barring entry on the grounds that "The poole is closed."
>anon is not allowed to build a portal in an attempt to bring an army of his species to "take all of equestrias oil" whatever that is.
>anon is not allowed to call anypony a "namefag" when first learning their name
>Anon is not to make any more impossible claims about the power of "Old Spice"
>We remind ponies not to believe Anon's claims about this product.
>"Old Spice body wash" can not "block odor for 16 hours"
>anon is not allowed to refer to anypony as "worst" or "best" pony
>anon is not allowed to recount his "war stories" from his time in "nam"
>anon did not have to "walk fifteen miles, uphill, both ways" to do anything "back in his day.
>Anonymous is banned from telling ponies to "Go back to Ponychan"
>Anon is not allowed to tell couples that their "waifu's a shit "
>Anonymous is banned from using the phrase "We need to go deeper." as a sexual euphemism.
>Anon is not to teach ponies how to craft weapons out of common household items.
>Anon is not to teach ponies how to craft weapons out of uncommon household items.
>We remind ponies that while possible, it is highly unlikely that Anon would walk five hundred miles, followed by another five hundred, just to collapse of exhaustion at your doorstep.
>Anon is not to teach ponies how to craft weapons with things found in nature
>Anonymous is banned from referring to the state currency as 'Shekels'
>Anonymous is banned from going anywhere near dragons if he is seen carrying something that looks like a mold
>Anonymous is banned from making suggestion to dragons about making rubber replicas of their sexual organs
>Anonymous is banned from shouting words of a weird language at dragons
>Anonymous is banned from calling himself the "Dragonborn"
>Anonymous is banned from trying to use it as a pick up line to female dragons
>Anonymous is banned from ever being near a dragon
>Anonymous is not to attempt to place buckets over shopkeepers heads in order to shoplift freely.
>anon is not to refer to days passing as "episodes"
>Anonymous is not to refer to anyone as being a 'good goy'
>Anonymous is banned from calling himself 'Billy Mays'
>Anon is no longer allowed near the bat ponies while carrying any of the following:
>Stake
>Crucifix
>"Holy" water
>Garlic
>any source fire
>anything that is already on fire
>Anon is not allowed to go for more that 12 hours without taking his Abilify
 
>Anon is not allowed, under any circumstances, to teach, advise, demonstrate, or in any way pass on lessons in self defense to any pony or dragon (this means you, Spike!).
>anon is not allowed to send ponies to on pick up things that don't exist.
>anon is banned from talking about his "balls of steel"
 
>Anon is to be reminded that the Crystal Empire and the Crystal Heart are not made of any of the following:
>1. Blue raspberry rock candy
>2. Crystal methamphetamine, blue or otherwise
>3. Energon
 
>Anon is not allowed to tell any member of the Pie family that anything is made of rock candy, including actual rock candy, which is made of sugar
>Anon is not allowed to plant any variety of tree in Sweet Apple Acres
>Anon is not allowed to plant any variety of pony in Sweet Apple Acres
>Anon is not allowed to plant anything in Sweet Apple Acres
 
>Anon is to be reminded that Princess Twilight's friendship journal is not any of the following:
>1. Blackmail
>2. Kindling
>3. Toilet paper
>4. Confetti
>5. The Necronomicon
>6. A Death Note
>Anon is not allowed to enchant the book to make it serve any of these purposes
 
>Anon is not permitted to seek out Siren attacks in hopes of "finding out if Sonata has a hot sister"
>Anon is forbidden from joining the Cutie Mark Crusaders, regardless of how blank his flank currently is
>Anon is to be reminded that Star Swirl the Bearded's time travel spell can go back much further than 13 seconds, and therefore referring to it as "the Omega 13" is inaccurate at best
>Anon is not allowed to ride tatzlwurms in a desert, or anywhere else for that matter
>Anon is not allowed to interact with parasprites at any time for any reason
>anon is banned from all pets with "edible-sounding" names
>anon is banned from calling Princes Cadance and/or Bon bon "Candyass"
>in fact, banned from calling any pony ___ass
>or __butt , especially sun and moon
>anon is not allowed to take random ponies off the street to ask them to take a part in his "can Satyrs be created" experiments
>anon is not allowed within 500 m of the everfree forest without 10L of premium grade lube, as per his request
>as of today, anon is no longer allowed to make up rules for himself
>all ponies within 50m of anon are banned from NOT sucking his dick
>anon is banned from using any writing material
>anon is banned from using mud/saliva/blood/own feces as replacement
>Anon is not allowed to suggest the Twilight Sparkle is a "Gassy mare who just lets it go whenever she needs to."
>Anon shall not mention "Maregurt."
 
>Anon will not scream "Where are the bodies?" to Pinkie Pie.
>Or Fluttershy.
>Or the CMC.
 
>Anon is banned from trying to play "Slay the dragon" in the library
>Anon is banned from trying to play "Lay the dragon" in the library
>Anon is banned from trying to jump into Pinkie's mane to see "how much she could fit in"
>Anon is banned from asking to eat some "ponut" as Sugarcube Corner
>Anon is banned from having animal from Fluttershy because he is lonely
>Anon is banned from having a cat because "it's fine too"
>Anonymous is banned from looking at ponies with contempt whenever said pony admits to doing things that Anonymous considers abnormal
>He is also banned from stating the current year, followed by repeating what the pony said, and responding with the phrase "I seriously hope you don't do this"
>At all times, Anonymous is banned from being in possession of a baseball bat while engaging in these sorts of discussions
>Anon is banned from calling Twilight Purplesmart
>Anon is no longer allowed to stand 11 meters or more from Flash Sentry and pelt him with objects shaped like male reproductive organs, actual reproductive organs, or objects of any kind.
>Anon is no longer allowed to set up a ball throwing machine 11 metres or more from flash sentry, set up to pelt him with various objects.
>Anon is banned from refusing to allow trains, carriages, or other modes of transportation to stop and disembark passengers while shouting "We can't stop here! This is bat country!"
>Anon eventually is banned fromd doing practically anything since the ponies start assuming that anything he does will occasionate another disaster.
>He starts becoming depressed at not being ableto do anything but sleep or eat.
>Anon is not allowed to feed himself or find any comfort during sleep.
>Anon is banned from talking about fight club
>Anon is no longer allowed to be in the presence of the princess with an empty glass and asking for a "cup o' dat" or a "refill"
>Subsequently, Anon is no longer allowed to ask the princess for "sun-dried raisins" while cupping his hands near her posterior
>Anon is not allowed to do anything requiring 40 gallons of super balls
>Anon is banned from respecting any of bans ever created for him.
>Anon does not have diplomatic immunity and he CAN be sued, no matter his claims to the contrary.
>Anon does not own a small country
>Anon is banned from attempting to found his own country
>Anon is banned from holding any noble titles
>Anon is banned from trying to form a band
>Under no circumstances should Anon be allowed near sound equipment, notably distorted string instruments
>Anon is banned from screaming incomprehensibly at citizens under the pretence of music
>Anon is banned from "delivering pone to the promised land of metal"
>Anon does not have "Friends in high places".
>Nor is he a member of a Mafia family
>Anon is not the ruler of a Mafia family
>Anon is banned from racketeering under the pretense of being a mafioso
>Anon is no longer allowed into the maternity ward with balloons
>Anon is banned from breathing Equestrian air and polluting it with his own rotten 'hot pocket' exhalation this will be remedied by a prescribed oxygen filter
>Anon is banned from abstaining proper hygiene
>Anon is banned from buying ladders taller than a footstool, portable cameras and lotions of any kind
>Anon is banned from giving fillies any amount of candy and must stay 500ft away from any school house
>Anon is not allowed to refer to his testicles as his "Super Balls"
>Anon is not allowed to possess lemons at any time
>Anon is not allowed to make "Combustible Lemons"
>Anon is not allowed to scream "This is the part where I kill you!"
>Anon is not allowed to make anyone his bitch
>Anon is not allowed to say anything is "edgy"
>Anon is not allowed to make replicas of ponies using candy; Especially not if its Pinkie Pie
>Anon is not allowed to declare loudly that it is the opposing teams judgement day, should a football team score
>Anon is no longer allowed to "claim the fifth"
>Anon is no longer allowed to get ponies to "check the 5" for him
>Anon is banned from referring to magic as "The Force"
>Anon is not allowed to use "The Force"
>Anon is banned from feeding the animals at Fluttershy's cottage.
>Anon is banned from bringing any blunt, club-like objects to Fluttershy's cottage.
>Anon is banned from Fluttershy's cottage.
>Anon is no longer allowed to place classified adverts in the local newspaper for assistants for a time travel venture
>Anon is not called Conan, he is neither a barbarian nor an alligator
>Anon is not allowed to posses a poking stick
>Anon is not allowed to call his penis a poking stick
>Anonymous is banned from giving "horsey rides" at Sugarcube Corner
>Anonymous is banned from playing instruments and singing outside of Carousel Boutique
>Anonymous is banned from entering and leaving Carousel Boutique during night time hours
>Anonymous is banned from "making ponies walk funny" at Sweet Apple Acres
>Anonymous is banned from "crossing sabres" at Sweet Apple Acres
>Anonymous is banned from doing "upside down pushups" with prospective Wonderbolts
>Anonymous is banned from giving "wing massages" to Animal Caretakers
>Anonymous is banned from greeting, meeting with, talking to, petting, joking with, getting closer to, playing with, hugging, @#*&%%$^! other princesses
>Anon is not allowed to claim he has "The Magic Pickle"
>Anon is not allowed within any kitchen with any unprepared food including pasta
>Anon is not allowed within fifty feet of any pony with the first name of Silver
>Anon is banned from being near animals under the pretense of "making a chimera"
>Anon does not have the touch, despite his claims to the contrary.
>Anon does not have the power, especially in conjunction with the above.
>Anon is banned from trying to create a "Pony Centipede."
>Anonymous is banned from stating that 'this post gave him cancer'
>Anonymous is banned from using law books regarding himself to make a castle next to any already existing structure, especially a castle.
>Anonymous is banned from yelling at anyone to "get on his level", especially a princess.
>Even if the fence post in question gave him cancer. He knew what he was getting into when he signed that waiver.
>Anon is hereby banned from this day on, from the recruitment of ponies to fight in his militia against the fictional tyrant Ganon.
>Anon is banned from calling things "LOLRANDUMN FUNNY XD."
>anon is banned from mentioning where glue comes from
>anon is banned from picking up random fillies and asking "can I keep it?"
>anon is banned from mentioning "hamboigahs"
>anon is banned from any musical number involving the phrase "turn down for what"
>anon is banned from discussing physics, gravity, and/or astronomy
>anon is banned from looking for "The Hub" logo
>anon did in fact not shot the sheriff and is banned from doing so. Also banned from setting up 3 o'clock roadblocks.
>Anon is banned from doing any and all of the following: wearing a black shirt that says "JERK" on it, yelling the names of people/places/things at the sky, claiming that he has been "horribly wronged", committing arson, possessing an "enemies list", exacting revenge upon anyone/anything for any reason
>Anon is banned from watching ponies eat foot long sandwiches, they cause him to sweat
>Anon is banned from possessing mayonnaise in a squeeze bottle
>Anon is forbidden from using his anal orifice as a musical instrument.
>Anon is forbidden from walking around town square with a sign that says "Chrysalis Did Nothing Wrong."
>Anon is forbidden from walking around town square with a sign that says "King Sombra Did Nothing Wrong."
>Anon is forbidden from walking around town square with a sign.
>Anon is forbidden from walking around town square.
>Anon is forbidden from town square.
>Anon is forbidden from attempting to learn magic.
>Addendum: Anypony found guilty in teaching Anon magic will be banished and then imprisoned in the place where they're banished to.
>Anon is not allowed to go up to Luna, ask her to turn into Nightmare Moon, and request for her to nibble all over him.
>Anon is not allowed to bring up "vore" in casual conversation.
>Anon is not allowed to ask Pinkie Pie, or anyone else, if they would like to see, play with, or set off his "party cannon"
>Anon is not allowed to play the banjo within 50 feet of any river, fjord, stream, or other body of water
>Anon is not allowed to go to Rainbow Dash's house and tell her he wants to come inside
>Anon is not allowed to paint his face black, storm into any place of business or residence, public or private, and inquire about the current location(s) of the "white ponies"
>Anon is not allowed to ask who phone is/was
>Anon is banned from doing anything "for the lulz"
>Anon is banned from doing anything "for science"
>Anon is banned from inquiring who put the bomp in anything
>Anon is banned from attempting to use ponies as his "personal army"
>Anon is banned from going more than 36 hours without showering; this is punishable by being hosed down in public
>Anon is banned from saying "no hooves" to any non-pony
>Anon is banned from telling Princess Celestia "Your sister's hotter."
>Anon is banned from telling Princess Luna "Your sister's hotter"
>Anon is banned from telling Princess Twilight "Your brother's hotter"
>Anon is banned from inquiring as to the extended family of Princess Cadance.
>Anon is banned from inquiring as to the extended family of Princess Cadence.
>Anon is banned from beginning discussions as to the correct spelling of any pony's name.
>Anon is banned from attempting to validate the spelling "Kheydinss" as a means of evading pre-existing bans.
> anon is forbidden to proclaim that "IT'S HAPPENING" in public
>Anon is banned from suggesting "golden showers" to the Equestrian weather management
>Anon is banned from measuring stallion sheaths for"scientific purposes" or "research"
>Anon is banned from challenging unicorns and alicorns as well as stallions of any race to "sword fights," "fencing," and/or "crossing swords" of any kind
>Anon is banned from referring to visiting dignitaries as "kebabs"
>Anon is banned from any interaction with visiting dignitaries
>Anon is banned from instigating ANY musical number
>Anon is banned from giggling whenever any pony uses the word "winking"
>Anon shall be confined to his home and guards posted whenever a mare in ponyville goes into estrus/heat
>Anon is not allowed to request that ponies stop liking what he doesn't like, regardless of how inferior their tastes may be
>Anon is banned from lurking on rooftops while wearing a white hood around any form of royalty or nobility, even if he claims to be acting as a bodyguard
>Anon is to be reminded that a haystack is not an invitation to jump off a rooftop, no matter how strategically placed it may appear to be
>There is no such organization in Equestria as the Illuminati, and Anon is banned from any research into that subject
>Anon is not permitted to awaken any ancient evil on the grounds that it has overslept
>Anon is not permitted to awaken any ancient evil, period
>Anon is not allowed to ask Applejack who is a silly pony (that description fits Pinkie Pie better anyway)
>While Rarity has stated for the record that she admires Anon's efforts, he is still no longer allowed to enforce mandatory "dressing in style" regulations on Rainbow Dash
>Anon is not allowed ask Big Macintosh about his Mcnuggets, whatever those are
>Anon is not to change the forecast of Fillydelphia to "Always Sunny"
>Anon was neither born nor raised in West Fillydelphia
>Anon does not have an auntie or uncle who live in Bel-Mare
>Anon is not allowed to tell stories of how his life got "flip-turned upside down"
>Anon is forbidden from using "shitty writing", "pandering", or "Merriwether Williams" as an explanation for anything
>anon is to be kept at least 500 feet away from pinkie pie if he is in the possession of a laser pointer
>Anon is forbidden from calling the princesses "Mein Fuhrer"
>Anon is forbidden from performing stage plays re enacting "fan fiction" (whatever that is), in public
>Anon is forbidden to read his "fan fiction" in public.
>Anon is forbidden from performing his "Fan Fiction" in the form of interpretive dance in public.
>Anon is forbidden from reenacting his fan fictions in any form in public or private settings
>On a side, note, Anon is now banned from the basement of sugar cube corner.
>Anon is banned from asking derpy if she knows what went wrong
>Anon is also banned from swinging [derpy] around in an attempt to use her as a weapon of "ass destruction."
>Anon is banned from all of Granny Smith's future birthday parties, until he agrees to stop interrogating her about her age
>Anon is banned from screaming "HEADCANNON ACCEPTED!" every time he learns something new about Equestria.
>Anon is banned from following any overweight pony playing a tuba.
>Anon is banned from owning a tuba.
>Anon is banned from shouting "Thanks M. A. Larson!" in public
>Anon is banned from the cloudsdale rainbow factory
>Anon is not allowed to ask factory employees "How many foals you get today?" as they leave.
>Anon is not to vandalize history books because he believes they are "not canon"
>Anon is not allowed to recommend new slogans to Iron Will
>Anon is not allowed within 50 feet of iron will
>Anon is not allowed within 30 feet of twilight sparkle while in possession of chocolate milk in quantities greater than 10ml
>Anon is not allowed to ask applejack if she knows who is silly.
>Anon is banned from the mirror pool, and is to be kept away at all costs
>Anon is not allowed within arm's length of any pony while he is in possession of a toothbrush
>Anon is banned from throwing toothbrushes at anypony
>Anon is banned from using the word "Brushie"
>Anon's toothbrush is to be attached to the bathroom counter by a chain
>Anon is not allowed to call the newborn foals in the hospital "Newfags"
>Anon is banned from the maternity ward
>Anon is banned from the hospital except for if he is injured
>Anon is not allowed to injure himself to gain access to the hospital
>Anon is not allowed to try to "disassemble" sweetie belle.
>Anon is not allowed to ask Sweetie Belle if she is a robot
>Anon is prohibited from saying "Beep Boop" in the vicinity of sweetie belle
>Anon is not allowed to go around town screaming "QUADS!" on November 11th
>Anon is not allowed to go around town screaming anything on any day
>Anon is forbidden from using the word "cancer" to describe anything
>Anon is not allowed to call anyone an SJW, whatever that is
>Anon is no longer allowed to draw unflattering pictures of ponies and is furthermore banned from 'shipping' them with his 'OCs', whatever the hay they are
>Anon is, despite any protestations, to be prohibited from fornicating with construction putties of any kind, now matter how loudly he screams "I must cum inside twilight spackle!"
>Anon is no longer allowed to burst into rapturous song
>Anon is banned from spray-painting "Press F to pay respects" on graves.
>Anon is banned from calling ponies "Good goys", whatever that is.
>Anon is banned from replying with "Boku No Pico" whenever a question is asked.
>Anon is banned from shouting the phrase "What is this, a [insert object here] for ants?" at anything small.
>Anon is banned from wearing any form of mask to obscure his face in public, especially the mask he calls the "Ananymooose mask".
>Anon is not allowed, under any circumstance to say the phrase "Remember - No Russian" and then proceed to walk around soaking all nearby ponies with a water gun.
>Anon is banned from writing letters to Princess Celestia which contain the greater than symbol and green writing/text.
>Anon is banned from calling Button Mash's video game console the "NoGaemsStation".
>Anon is banned from calling anypony who disagrees with him a "shill".
>Anon is no longer allowed to play songs off of his smartphone device which are written or sang by these following artists: Easy-E's, M&M, Fifty Scent, Two Packs, Big Miniscule, Metal Licker and certainly not Rucka Rucka Ali.
>Anon is no longer allowed to say/order: "I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."
>Anon is banned from ordering anything in an "extra medium" size, whatever that is.
>Anon is banned from referring to King Sombra as 'Dio', 'Ozzy', or 'Halfaggot'
>Anon is not to ask any business for a discount claiming it is his "favorite store on the Citadel"
>Anon may regale listeners about his past, but with the following restrictions:
>At no point may he mention a location known as Bel-Aire
>He may not request "tree fiddy" or any sum of money totaling either three and a half or three hundred and fifty units of currency
>He may not begin the story with the phrase "Thousands of years ago in the future"; this restriction is most relevant when real or manufactured fog is present
>If at any point he begins using an accent which is reminiscent of natives of Mexicolt or Zebrica, or refers to something as "another shoah", ponies are advised to disregard his story (though he is not technically banned from these tales)
>Anonymous is not allowed to imply that any increase in speed is due to the consumption of "V-Tec"
>Following the events of last Winter, Anonymous is not allowed to discuss any movies, plays, books, music, or other media with fans of said media
>Anonymous is no longer allowed to intentionally mispronounce ponies' names
>Anonymous is not to visit Princess Celestia between the hours of six pm to six am
>Anon Y Moose is not to visit Princess Celestia between the hours of six pm to six am
>Anon is not to visit Princess Celestia between the hours of six pm to six am
>Nonny is not to visit Princess Celestia between the hours of six pm to six am
>Pinkie Pie is banned from suggesting nicknames for the purposes of ban evasion.
>Anonymous is banned from changing his appearance for the purposes of ban evasion
>Anonymous is banned from changing his appearance for any reason.
>Anonymous is banned from making 'booty calls' to Princess Celestia (note: Anonymous! She has to run the country! Find another 'fuck buddy'.)
>Anonymous is banned from making 'booty calls' to Princess Twilight
>Anon is not a 'Cutie Mark Inspector".
>There is no such substance called "kryptonite", and it is not Anon's only weakness.
>Anon is not a professional "Flank Inspector".
>Anon is not permitted to scream out loud in public, claiming his shouts have special powers.
>Percussion, woodwind and especially brass instruments are not to be under Anon's posession.
>Anon is not allowed to hide katanas under zippers.
>Anon is not allowed to speak with a strange accent while slicing all the fruit he sees in the market with a katana.
>Anon is not allowed to possess a katana, sword, or any weapon of any kind.
>Anon is not a professional "Butt Ghost Inspector", there are no such things as ghosts and they do not reside inside of pony hindquarters.
>Anon is not a professional inspector of any kind.
>Anon is not a professional of any sort of field, whatsoever.
>Despite no way of knowing for sure, there is no such thing as a degree for "Bachelors of Ponut Punching" from Anon's home world, and Anon does not have such a degree.
>Anon is not allowed to scream "NAH BEYITCH, I AINT THE FATHER. LET'S TAKE DIS TO MAURY, BEYITCH!" every time he sees a mare with a child.
>Despite no way of knowing for sure, there is no such thing as "Daily Cuddle Time" from Anon's home world.
>Anon is not allowed to request that anypony "do the flop"
>Nopony is to "do the flop" if anon requests it.
>Anon banned from throwing "poke balls" at breezies and screaming "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!"
>Anon is banned from throwing spheres at ponies and shouting, "Rapiddash, I chose you!"
>Anon is banned from telling ponies to "kill themselves"
>Anon is banned from encouraging unicorns to "pokevolve" and saying, "Twilight did it. Why can't you?"
>Anon is not allowed to explain political, economic, or cultural ideas from his home. All ponies found listening will have the offending knowledge removed for the good of Equestria.
>Anon is banned from yelling about "Dio"
>Anon is banned from being within 30 feet of unicorn foals
>Anon is banned from being within 30 feet of unicorns screaming about spiral power
>Anon is banned from calling any pony futa____
>Anon is banned from starting rumors about specific ponies having additional sexual organs
>Anon is banned from asking any zebra if they have any "purple drank"
>Anon is banned from possession of watermelon and using it as "zebra bait"
>Anon is banned from interaction with Ditzy 'Derpy' Do, Snips, and/or Snails.
>-He shall not be allowed to "remove them from the gene pool"
>-He shall not be allowed to tell them to "an hero"
>Anon is banned from talking about ethnic cleansing and the "glorious Aryan race"
>Anon is banned from asking about Aryanne. We do not know of any pony by this name, but we can surmise that they will only worsen Anon's actions
>Anon will refrain from enticing ponies to refer to an "area of hazards"
>Anon is banned from attempting to revive dead ponies by standing next to their graves and uttering "bump" incessantly
>Anonymous is prohibited from interrupted a discussion about ponysaurs with 'yee'
>anonymous is banned from wandering around and asking mares to help him "make a satyr"
>anonymous is no longer allowed to attempt to create a "satyr" without consent
>anonymous is banned from creating satyrs (see addendum "things Hope is no longer allowed to do)
>lyra heartstrings is banned from making changes to this list
>anonymous is no longer allowed to create "sphinxes" (see addendum "things Alex is no longer allowed to do)
>Gilda T. Griffin is banned from taking her daughter into the everfree forest to "train" her
>Anonymous is banned from owning a turkey baster
>Anon is no longer allowed to stand behind Princess Celestia
>Any references to 'Praising the sun' is right out
>Anon may no longer call Celestia 'grossly incandescent'
>Anon is no longer allowed at any ceremonies with Princess Celestia involved
>Anon must have a properly secured belt
>Anon is no longer allowed at any ceremonies with Princess Luna involved
>anonymous does not, and never has, has a "sovereign claim to dat moon booty"; despite luna's statement to the contrary
>Anonymous is not to "visit" the princesses until after they have performed their daily responsibility to the sun/moon
>princess Luna and princess Celestia alone do not have the power to declare any day "National sleep-in day"
>Every Wednesday and Thursday is now "national sleep-in day"
>ANONYMOUS IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO TELL PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE ABOUT HIS LOVE LIFE
>Anonymous is restricted to the hours of 6pm - 12pm when making 'booty calls' to Pinkie Pie. I don't care how long you last, you're keeping up the neighbours!
>anonymous is hereby forbidden to save and store his own semen
>anonymous is banned from owning any type of industrial pump
>anonymous is banned from partaking in any future fertility celebrations
>anonymous is to pay 500,000 bits each month in foal support
>in the event that the support cannot be paid, anon is to be put to hard labor in princess twilight's castle
>Anon shall be confined to his home and guards posted whenever a mare in ponyville goes into estrus/heat
>Anon is banned from performing "sweet chin music"
>Said "sweet chin music" is not an acceptable form of knocking
>If Anon is seen stomping report the incident to the closest guard
>This being said the song Sexy Boy is no longer allowed to be played in public for fear of enticing Anon
>Anonymous is prohibited from shouting "FUCK DA PO-LEECE!"
>Anonymous is not allowed to kick guards trying to arrest him.
>Anonymous is banned from shouting "FALCON KICK!" while kicking a guard.
>Anonymous is to submit to any guards arresting them.
>Anonymous is not allowed to break these cuffs.
>Anonymous is prohibited to run from the guards.
>Anonymous is banned from taking "selfies" while running from the guards.
>Anonymous should not choose between which kids to save, if they are not in any danger, even if they are his kids.
>Anonymous is not to refer himself in the 3rd person.
>Anonymous is not allowed to call himself "This one," preceding an opinion.
>Anonymous is prohibited from saying anypony has "shit taste" in opinions, even if they are bad.
>Anonymous is not to shout "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH?!" or any differentiating phrase.
>Anonymous is not allowed to to shout at ponies randomly.
>Anonymous is prohibited from shouting "Funk you, nugger." when asked if he needs help.
>Anonymous is not allowed to "Party Hard."
>Fellatio is not a "Traditional human greeting."
>Anon is not to keep telling Lyra that.
>Not even if "she's really into it."
>Humans are not eligible for repatriation payments
>Fellatio is also not a "traditional human form id payment."
>No, not even if "she's really into it."
>After much research, we have determined that, on Earth "horse mounting blocks" are not used for the purpose explained by Anonymous.
>Anonymous will no longer offer any pony a "bouncy fun squirty ride."
>Buggering ponies is not a "traditional human folk remedy"
>Anonymous is not to feed Poison Joke to Fluttershy and have her sing the songs of "Barry White", whoever that is.
>Anon is not to tell Scootaloo that Rainbow Dash tastes like any kind of sherbert.
>Anon does not have us "all in check"
>"Turn down for what?" Is not a appropriate way to greet Princesses or any visiting dignitaries of any kind. No not even zebras
>Anonymous is not to attempt to find the correct frequency for shattering crystals of any kind.
>Especially Princess Twilight's Castle
>Anonymous may not refer to himself as "The Element of Badassery"
>Anonymous did not come from the land of the ice and snow
>Take off that helmet,
>Give the minotaur back his horns
>The opening ceremonies of the Equestrian Games do not involve "full frontal" anything.
>After the unfortunate incident, Anonymous may not longer sing "I'm a little teapot, short and stout."
>That is not your handle, nor is it your spout.
>Things are not "Just like my(Anon) Japanese Animes
Anonymous' Horn Cannot Pierce the heavens, and neither should he attempt to.
>Anonymous is not to attempt to do so using Twilight's horn either. We like our atmosphere where it is, thank you.
>Anon is no form of "The Game".
>Anon is banned from performing "pedigrees" on ponies.
>Anon does not own an elephant
>Anon is banned from asking any pony if they want to see "Mr Elephant"
>Anon is banned from performing the "ass dance"
>Anon is banned from shouting "Kamina!"
>Anon is banned from shouting "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"
>Anon is banned from ending his statements with "Believe it!"
>Anon is banned from commenting on ponies' power levels
>The cobra clutch is not an acceptable form of greeting to citizens and royalty alike
>Anon is not allowed to in any form or method "make (some pony) humble"
>Anon is not allowed to say "____, I'm CIA" while standing in front of an aviation device.
>Anon is banned from inventing things.
>Anon is banned from making pop culture references.
>Despite Colgate's protests about her recent decrease in business, we are not repealing any law involving said "Sweet Chin Music"
>Anon is banned from sliding back and forth in a populated area repeatedly saying 'can't touch this'
>Anon did not come from a land down under
>Anon did not come from 'The Mountain'
>Anon is not now, nor has he ever been 'Rick James', bitch.
>Anon is banned from showing any pony any photographs on his person, no matter how funny they are.
>Anon is no longer allowed to eat meat
>At the request of Princess Luna, Anon is no longer allowed to dream while he sleeps
>anon is banned from disguising himself as a statue in front of town hall
>anon is banned from disguising himself as one of fluttershy's animals
>anon is banned from entering any building he does not own without supervision
 
>Anon is banned from standing at the edge of the crater
Amendment Passed:
>Even if "the prophets once said"
 
>Anon is banned from showing up to random ponies funerals and desecrate their remains, case in point; I was reported to about when he picked up one of the Orange's dear grandmothers Urns, taking out a hoof-full and smearing it over his face. They also told me he said something about Diamond Dogs. Either way, no more crashing of funerals
>Anon is banned from telling ponies that they have no grace, and that they also have funny faces.
>Anon is not allowed to make requests to install 'Gen-two', whatever that means
>Anon is not allowed to call other ponies 'casuals'
>Anon is never to cite the 'rules of the internet' as an excuse for his actions
>Nor is he to really ever bring them up given they have no bearing on our laws and thus yelling them at other ponies is moot
>Anon is to not bring up this 'moot' creature unless asked about it, regardless of how much of a 'sjw-shill-faglord' he may be
>Unless Twilight is being one
>Anon is not to sneak up behind anypony with a second pen (Which he should NOT have) and sensibly write in absurd notes to the rules while breathing on a ponies mane
>Not even if it happened in a movie
>Anon is not to wake up at 4 AM excactly to scream 'clopwork' at the top of his lungs regardless of where he is
>Nor is he to ask other ponies when they lost control of their lives
>Anon is not allowed access to chocolate pudding from the hours of 12 AM to 7 AM
>Anon is not to have pudding without supervision
>Anon is not to request pudding by pulling his pants down and yelling for pudding
>Anon is not allowed to summon spaghetti in any form
>Anon is not allowed to magically summon or teleport any object or being without royal permission
>Anon may not retell 'green-text' stories to any other creature unless they have been approved by our royal council of human media
>Anon is not to attempt to get permission by yelling them out at an off-duty council member, he must get an appointment for a specific time and place
>Anon is not to use artistic depictions of the actions he is banned from doing as a substitute
>Anon is banned from using a "flamethrower" as a way to help with winter rap up
>Anon is not allowed to use Spike as a "flamethrower"
>anon is forbidden from using the term "white bullshit" to describe snow
>Anon is not allowed to question why unicorns can't use magic if pegasi are allowed to use their clearly non-earth pony weather magic.
>Although we are unclear as to who "Lil' Wayne" is, Anonymous is not longer permitted yo talk like that.
>The official Equestrian Anthem is not "Yackety Sax"
>Nor is it "The Rodeo Song".
>Ponies do not have to "be this tall to ride this ride". The ride in question being Anonymous.
>Anonymous is never to be permitted access to a tuba ever again.
>anon is banned from watching sports and his TV shall be confiscated.
>anonymous is no longer allowed to organize cock fights
>anonymous is banned from organizing fights between foals wearing chicken costumes
>anonymous is no longer allowed to attempt to mate with chickens
>anonymous is to remain at least 300 meters away from scootaloo at all times
>anon is no longer allowed to organize cock fights between stallions
>anon is not allowed to touch stallion's butts
>anon is no longer allowed near stallions
>Anon is not allowed to refer to himself as The Mu'adib, Kwizatch Haderach or anything like it.
>Even if it is in context, anon is not allowed to say "The Spice must flow".
>While we appreciate the sentiment, anon is not allowed to teach fillies how to conquer their fears with alchemy, or magic, while having them chant out, as he calls it, the Litany Against Fear.
>There are no real royal houses on Equestria, as such Anon's claims to be of house Harkonen, and/or Atredies, are to be ignored.
>Anon is no longer aloud to call ponies "gluestick"
>Anon is no longer aloud to shout "destructo disk" while throwing a Frisbee
>anon is no longer aloud talk about his bowel movements in public
>anon is no longer aloud to call somepony a "pleb"
>Anon is no longer aloud to get into arguments with children over board games
>If board games are to be played with anon, the board is to be nailed down
>anon is not allowed to fuck everything in sight
 
>The following board games are banned outright.
>Diplomacy
>Monopoly
>Sorry
>Connect Four
>Go
>Chess
>Checkers both regular and Chinese
>Risk
 
>Anon is not allowed to fuck everything while wearing a blindfold.
>Anon is not allowed to put pepper on food.
>anon is banned from D&D
>yes, every edition
>advanced is still an edition
>forgotten realms is a setting, not an edition
>anon is banned from role playing games entirely
>that includes LARPing
>Every edition of FATAL anon imported is to be incinerated upon discovery by royal decree
>Even anon's homebrew rules for pony genitalia
>Anon is forbidden from utilizing his 'magical realm' in any way, shape, or form
>If playing Song of Swords anon is not allowed to respond to a blue action with a blue action.
>Anon is banned from milking ponies
>Anon is banned from offering to "motorboat, fist, or plow" ponies.
>Anon is banned from hosting any sort of classroom activities, for reasons why see attached newspaper article "Local Human Gives Lessons on Native 'Twerking' Dancing Ritual of Homeland"
>Anon is banned from the Ponyville Library, as he has repeatedly written in spoilers in all fiction books he's rented
>Anon is forbidden use of any instruments, especially ones he intends to "try to play with his dick"
>Anon is forbidden from NOT having at least one alcoholic drink every 24 hour period
>anon is double-banned from public urination, even if he claims he's "just watering the plants"
>anon is forbidden from loudly asking ponies if they "spit or swallow"
>anon is forbidden from dressing up in animal skins, romping through the town with a hammer shouting about how he is "the son of odin, man's greatest warrior"
>Anon is banned from asking if they sell "ponuts" at Sugarcube Corner
>Sugarcube Corner is banned from selling ponuts to Anon
>anon is no longer allowed on the moon
>Anon is banned from setting foot on the moon and/or claiming he now owns said moon
>Anon may not enact war with his 'one man army' in hopes to obtain the moon and start his own country with 'blackjack and hookers.'
>Anon is no longer allowed in Equestria
>Anon is no longer allowed on the moon
>Anon is no longer allowed in the space between planets, dimensions or realities
>anon is banned from smoking "cigarettes" They smell bad and are unhealthy.
>anon is banned from owning any tobacco products from the mild-west.
>anon is not to have "nicotine fiendings" nor is he allowed to be so grumpy about it.
>anon is banned from starting at a cigarette butt while repeating "I don't need it." Before screaming "I NEED IT! " and trying to smoke the butt.
>anon is not to walk up to a zebra and ask "can a nigga (or zigga) get a menthol."
>ANON IS MANDATED TO SMOKE TOBACCO PRODUCTS FOR THE GREATER PEACE OF SOCIETY.
>anon is banned from "burning books until i can burn a cig"
>anon is banned from blowing smoke rings around my horn.
>anon is banned from rapidly exhaling smoke from his nose while making eye contact with Iron Will.
>anon is not to challenge Iron Will to a "smoke-off"
>anon is banned from being friends with Iron Will.
>anon is banned from taking a large "hit" and saying "das it mane" after he exhales.
>Anon may no longer taunt Derpy by calling her 'the village idiot.'
>Anon may no longer taunt Applejack, or the Apple family as a whole, by call them 'the village idiot(s).'
>Anon may not taunt anypony by calling them 'the village idiot.'
>Anon is free to refer to himself as 'the village idiot' if he feels so inclined.
>Anon is not allowed to attempt to resurrect King Sombra with dark magic
>Anon is not allowed to attempt to resurrect King Sombra with light magic
>King Sombra wasn't destroyed, despite what Anonymous might believe, and is currently serving probation by volunteering at a homeless shelter
>Anon is not allowed to attempt to murder King Sombra
>Anon is not allowed to ask Zecora to help cure his Savanna Fever.
>Anon is not to say once you go white and black you never go back.
>Anon is not to use the words zigger, or any variations such as zigga, hut mule, or zegro.
>Anon is not allowed to call Saddle Arabians "veil heads"
>Anon is not allowed to shout "Allah Akbar!" at Saddle Arabians.
>Anon is banned from using any kind of firearm.
>Anon is no longer allowed to claim that he is "the village idiot" as an excuse to break these rules
>Anon is no longer allowed to claim that he is "the village idiot" as an excuse to break any rules
>Anon is no longer allowed to claim that he is "the village idiot", though others may still refer to him as such
>Anon is no longer allowed to use someone else's claims as an excuse to break rules
>No one is allowed to refer to Anon as "the village idiot"
>Anon is not allowed to attempt to convince Twilight's Brother/Sister to repeal laws on his behalf. Even if he/she can come up with very good excuses.
 
>Anon is banned from shouting 'HERESY' while pointing at Princess Twilight.
>Amended: While pointing at Any of the Princesses.
 
>Anon may no longer refer to Derpy as the 'Wall-eyed Wonder'
>Anon is banned from making grammatically incorrect remarks mocking the Equestrian Space Program's inability to reach outer space. While we have yet to pass the atmosphere in a vehicular device, we are confident that our top scientists will disprove Anon's claims that "Equestria cannot into space", as he says.
>Under no circumstances is anon to cross dress, nor is anon allowed to say the word desu.
>Anon is not the human embodiment of Mjolnir, nor is he allowed to grow his hair long enough to turn his hair into weapons, it only causes him more anguish when he gets caught in it.
>Anon is neither the Dark Flame Master, nor does he possess any sort of magical eyes, Tyrant, Death Perception, or otherwise.
>Anonymous is banned from uttering "kurwa", although we don't know what it means.
>Anonymous is banned from uttering "remove kebab" at Eastern Europonians, although we don't know what it means either.
>Anonymous is banned from trying to secede from Equestria, claiming his house as his own "clay".
>Anonymous is banned from telling Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, or any other royal to "pay denbts". We can assure you all that Equestria is "denbt" free.
>Anonymous is banned from claiming he is "stronk"
>Anonymous is banned from walking up to other ponies and threatening them with an "anschluss" or a "reich".
>Anonymous is banned from entering space. The only thing that "cannot into space" is him.
>Anonymous is banned from mispronouncing "give" and "please"
>Anonymous is banned from speaking "broken" English in general
>Anonymous is banned from creating his so-called "Polandball" comics.
>Anonymous is banned from creating actual Polandballs
>anonymous is banned from derailing conversations, going off topic, or engaging in meta discussions
>anonymous is banned from claiming Equestria is not real
>anonymous is banned from rejecting reality
>anonymous is banned from solipsistic ideas
>Anon is not allowed to posses a "Happy fun ball"
>Anon is not allowed to taunt a "Happy Fun Ball"
>anonymous is no longer to refer to the Neighborhood Anonymous Watch (NAW) as "The Foundation"
>Despite any knowledge he may have regarding space flight, Anon is banned from directing construction of space vehicles.
>Anon is banned from saying all the vehicles need is more boosters.
>Anon is banned from saying "You will not go to space today."
>Anon is not allowed to tell the princes "We need to gather together five mares with attitude!" during times of crisis
>In light of recent events, anon is not allowed to play shadow puppets in the presence of fillies
>Anon is banned from staring contests in general
>Under no circumstance is Anon allowed to say "It's time to oil up."
>Anon is banned from saying anything with the word dong in it.
 
>Anon is not allowed to interrupt royal cabinet meetings for any reason. This includes:
>Informing the princess that the plumbing is backed up
>recording a "harlem shake" video
>A musical Number
>Tell visiting dignitaries to "go back where they came from"
>Shouting "OOGA BOOGA WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?"
>recording a pornographic film
>making a reality television program
>Calling visiting dignitaries "faggot"
>Calling the princess "faggot"
>Showing the princess his newest fanart.
>Telling all present to "remember, remember, the fifth of november"
>Telling all present to "Remember remember the fifth of december"
>Telling all present to "Remember Remember the fifth of october"
>Telling all present to remember a certain date unless ordered to do so.
 
>Anon is not to be given a spider-man costume under any circumstances
>While no incidents have yet to occur, it is recommended that Anon is not given access to an air horn.
>Anon is banned from putting any of his body parts into pony
>Anon is banned from putting any of his body parts into dragon
>Anon is banned from putting any of his body parts into animals
>Anon is banned from searching for grypphons in order to put some of his bodyparts into them
>Anon is banned from putting any of his body parts into inanimate objects
>Anon is not allowed to ask cheese sandwich to sing "Hardware Store", "Eat It", "Fat", or "Amish Paradise"
>Anon is not allowed to follow Maud pie around, repeatedly vocalizing boulder's supposed actions in the third person, I.E. "THE BOULDER is hungry..."
>Despite Rarity's protestations, Anon is not allowed within earshot of Suki Polomare, and is not allowed to call her a "Heartless, dick-gargling anal juggernaut".
>Anon is not to be left near silver shill, for reasons we still don't quite understand.
>Anon must pay for his cider at cider season like everypony else. He cannot "Open a tab".
>Anon is to be limited to two cups of cider a day.
>Berry Punch isn't "The only one in ponyville that knows how to really party"
>Anon cannot be fat
>Anon must have a job
>Anon cannot join unions nor leave equestria
>Anon cannot rape the public
>Anon cannot have any weapons of intended revolt.
>Anon must pray to Counselor Nappa 5 times a day.
>Anonymous is hereby banned from issuing order chains that include opening a door, getting on the floor and "walking the dinosaur"
>Anonymous is banned from shouting "praise the sun" whilst Princess Celestia is raising the sun.
>Anonymous is banned from playing games with ponies while dressed in green and blue overalls, unless he actively participates in the game.
>Anonymous is no longer allowed to paint himself blue and sing incoherently about being blue.
>Anonymous is banned from acceptin candy from suspicious individuals.
>Anonymous is no longer allowed to give candy to fillies and colts.
>Anonymous is banned from sporting events.
>Anonymous is banned from owning an air horn or vuvuzela.
>Anonymous Is no longer allowed to cook more than one package of spaghetti at a time and cannot hold a container of spaghetti in public.
>Anonymous is absolutely, positively, irrevocably banned from implying implications in conversations.
>Anon is banned from calling Ms. Punch "Pinot Noir"
>Anon is banned from asking Berry Punch if any of her bodily fluids are alcoholic
>Anon is banned from speaking to Berry Punch
>Anon is banned from putting his lips anywhere on Berry Punch, whilst screaming "Just one drink!"
>Anon is banned from going within 50ft of Berry Punch
>Anon is banned from calling Ditsy Doo "Derpy"
>Anon is banned from calling Minuette "Colgate"
>Anon is banned from calling Sweetie Drops "Bon Bon"
>Anon is also banned from having Cheese Sandwich sing Albuquerque, nobody has time for that.
>anonymous is banned from making new threads
>anon is banned from milking anything (including ponies)
>Anon is no longer allowed to attempt the construction of a tower 'befitting [his] wizardry"
>Anon is not allowed to say 'bump' out of context
>Both Anon and ponies are sentient creatures, therefore, Anon is banned from saying that they "ain't nothing but mammals".
>Furthermore, Anon is prohibited from talking about this "Discovery Channel" and whatever it is they do there.
>Anon is no longer allowed to practice delicious sciency magic.
>Anon is also no longer allowed to practice alchemy.
>Anon is not allowed to hide extra vials of his "Jekyll Serum" for use at a later date.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Anon is banned from conceivably everything by an enraged Twilight
>Has a pair of Guards that follow him 24/7 since he is immune to magic
>Decides to say fuck it, and leaves Ponyville, going into the Everfree
>Princess Twilight is finally at peace
>A year passes
>Next Gala, all the girls go
>Celestia, Luna and Candyass are bewildered that Anon didn't show up because he was their entertainment for the boring as all hell event
>No, not sexually
>They find out that Twilight drove out Anon
>Celestia and Luna are furious that she possibly killed their casual fuck buddy, especially since he was the one being that was totally okay to fucking them
>Twilight realizes how much she's fucked up
>They return to find that Ancient Evil number 436 has awoken and is destroying Equestria
>With Magic
>The Elements go into the Everfree to find Anon
>They find him at the heart of the forest
>Living as a Monk in a massive wooden temple he built
>He claims to have transcended past all his earthly desires
>AKA he's a complete antithesis to what he was before
>Total pacifist
>Won't fight the Ancient Evil
>They contact Celestia and Luna, telling them what has become of Anon
>They're fucking furious that they broke their fuck toy as well
>The two of them enter a room with Anon, and do not come out for a couple hours
>They come out looking sad and defeated
>Anon was unconvinced and said he'd rather stay, but he'd be willing to talk to Ancient Evil
>He leaves with them to Ponyville
>He walks up to the ancient evil
>Talks to it for ten minutes, nobody can understand the language they're speaking
>The Ancient Evil nods, bows before Celestia and Luna, before leaving
>Every pony is stunned
>Cept Anon
>Twilight begs Anon to stay, promising to make his only law is that no more laws can be made about him
>He sagely declines, before entering the ever free
>The next morning, Twilight wakes to Anon furiously masturbating over her, laughing and frothing at the mouth now that he is no longer bound by law