Title: Alt-SciTwi - Forked Lightning, part 2 Author: nohooves Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/EhbQTZht First Edit: Tuesday 11th of August 2015 11:27:57 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Thursday 13th of August 2015 12:53:03 PM CDT +————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————+ |                                                                    | |    Looking for the archived update with all the spelling errors,   | |    lore discussions, shitposts, and images of cute cartoon         | |    horses? Follow this link:                                       | |                                                                    | |    https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/24254745/#24258939               | |                                                                    | +————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————+   >Anon freezes. >Stralight Glimmer. USSR. The antagonistic group against all things non-Starlight. >Twilight makes a face like she bit on a dung beetle. She steps up to the speaker phone.   >"Is that so? What does a USSR agent gain from helping out a Twilight, anyway?" >A soft chuckle emanates from the plastic squakbox. >"[A clear conscience? Satisfying the main ethos of the USSR?]" >Starlight's chuckle develops into a full laughter.   >"[Why, Princess,]" she sighs, her tone almost too sultry for the occasion. "[Unlike your opportunistic pigs, *our* leadership promotes altruistic assistance to everyone.]" "Even to your enemies, apparently," interjects Anon, finding Starlight's intent disingenuous. >"[ESPECIALLY to our enemies,]" replies Starlight, biting each syllable.   >Awkward silence.   >"Let's get this over with," says Twilight. "What do you have for us?" >The pale magenta vixen clears her throat from the other end of the multiverse.   >"[As you may know, my job requires me to relocate new entities as they emerge from unregistered multiverses. Any and all entities are treated as equals when—]" >"Yes, yes, and extra equal opportunity for other Starlights," interrupts Sunset. "Now will you PLEASE get to the point?" >The squakbox huffs. >"[How rude! Anyway, an unregistered Twilight showed up at our offices. No Universe Code, no Twi Decimal Classification number, nothing. I tried to redirect her to the HST embassy nearby, but it was as though she didn't care about having an identification number of any sort to begin with. She kept asking for the whereabouts of an M-002. Apparently looks like her, no idea where she is.]"   "Whoa, that's—" >Twilight makes a really exaggerated cutting motion on her neck. "—really weird. Please do continue, Starlame Blatherer." >Sunset tries really hard not to laugh   -   >"[I will equalize your face with a steamroller,]" says Starlight in complete monotone. "Ugh. But I have no face!" >Anon crosses his arms at the speakerphone. "This offends me as a facial-fluid person. You ought to check your concrete visage privileges, Starry." >The speakerphone begins emitting smoke, probably out of pure rage. >"Please excuse him," says Trixie, pinching the bridge of her nose. "He's an idiot."   >"[AS I WAS SAYING,]" shouts Starlight, clearly running out of patience. "[The Twilight refused to register and kept asking for the nearby fueling station for her palladium-arc-generator-something. So I suggested she should visit F-Mart.]" >"Wait," says Twilight. "F-Mart has palladium ingots?" >"[No. But they have batteries.]" >"...oh." >"[So, yeah. That was only a few days ago. So uh, you should go there and ask around. Maybe.]"   >Another awkward silence.   "Right. Uh, thanks for calling us I suppose." >"[It was my pleasure,]" says Starlight, regaining some of her sultry composure. "Right-o. Keep it cool, Starry bro!" >"[Moronymous, I swear I'll—]" >Anon hangs up.   >Trixie gives Anon a disgusted look. >"Anonymous, did you just—" "Yep, I just did. Dank maymays, Trix. Cool story bro. Get it???"   >He walks up to Twilight, nudging her and giving her the eyebrows. >"You're sleeping on the couch tonight," Twi says flatly. "I know, but it was SO WORTH IT."   >He begins pumping his fists in the air. >Sunset gives him a high-five. "Thanks, Sunny." >Sunset winks at Anon.     - - - - - -     >With the receiver off, Starlight Glimmer dials a new number. >She waits patiently as the ringtone sounds four times before being picked up, as agreed upon. >"[Starlight.]" >Starlight grins. >"Chairman Glimmer."   >"[Yes I am. Like I didn't know already. Get on with the report.]" >A loud clink of whiskey on the rocks emphasizes her annoyance. >Starlight continues, ignoring her superior's impatience.   >"I've leaked the information as you prescribed, Chairman. They're probably *dying* to meet her counterpart by now." >She flashes a grin, as though addressing the Chairman in person. >"It's only a matter of time before the plan's fruition." >An eerie chuckle acknowledges the success.   >"[Very good. You've advanced our collective cause quite far today, Starlight Glimmer.]" >Starlight bows at the wall. >"Anything for the party, ma'am." >Starlight moves to hang up. >"[Oh, Starlight?]"   >The receiver's back on her ears. >"Yes, Chairman?" >"[Please prep our forces. I want them ready to flood the High Council as soon this event resolves.]"   >Starlight nods. >"Of course." >After all, catching the council off guard was part of their plan.     - - - - - -     >The pitch-black night shrouds the lab floor. >In the middle of it sits an old television and a dilapidated yellow couch, occupied by two figures. >Their faces are glowing in various technicolors, as the broadcast in front of them illuminates them at dozens of frames per second.   >Anon is slouched over the couch, bags of chips and empty beer cans strewn about. >Next to him is Trixie, occupied with petting a snoring spike. >Anon lets out a quiet burp, then picks up the phone from the coffee table.   >"Put the beer down first, Anonymous. You're gonna drop the phone holding it like that." >The phone lets out a few hollow rings as the bells inside are knocked about. >Anon's beer is foaming up.   "Do you think the pizza place delivers to shipping containers in the middle of nowhere?" >"No. And it's 1 AM, Anonymous." "Oh." >Anon looks dejected, then puts the phone down with a clang. He slurps on the foaming beer rather loudly.   >A particularly silly scene of Mick & Rorty plays out in the idiot box in front of them. >They let out a quiet chuckle. >If anything, late evenings with Trixie were always cathartic.   >"Anon, about today." "Hmm?" >Trixie waves her finger, creating rising bubbles of rainbow in the wake as though she were underwater. >"After you went to class, I stayed around for a few minutes. Then I felt this... weird sensation." >Anon finishes his beer. "Yeah, it's called 'guilt' Trixie."   -   >Trixie shakes her head as Anon cracks open another can with a loud, carbonated hiss. >"No, I'm not talking about the class." "Then what?" >She pauses for a moment.   >"I felt like I was surrounded by these flimsy curtains, ready to be pierced. The space itself was like rolled up sheets of wet paper towel around me." >She idly traces a rainbow line around Spike. >"It was like I could almost... pierce it. Tear something into the great beyond. Or great nothing." >Anon lets her words sink into him.   "What do you think it means?" >Trixie shrugs, appearing somewhat frustrated. >She traces rainbow wings on Spike's back with her finger. >"I am not sure, but I don't like it. Any dimensional shenanigans that don't involve portals is bad business." >Anon nods.   "You know, there are some supernatural books in stock at that used bookstore I mentioned." >Trixie frowns, her posture sinking. >"Anon, I'm being serious." "Can you believe they named it 'The Library?' Talk about confusing." >"Anonymous—"   >He peels a lukewarm can from the plastic ring. "I know you're being serious. And that's why I can't be." >With a free hand, he fishes out a less crushed piece of potato chip and eats it. "One of us has to be the one with the positive outlook, so I'm taking it upon myself. For you." >The Element of Empathy darts her eyes around.   "You can't do anything about it, so why worry? Can't we worry about it when it becomes a solvable problem?" >Trixie looks at the can of Dude Light being offered at her. "Come on, Trix buddy. I really hate seeing you like this. Enjoy the moment with me." >Anon's face is fraught with concerns for her.   >She smiles. >"Fine. Just one for tonight." >They watch the rest of the Mick & Rorty reruns well into the night.     - - - - - -     >Anon wakes up in Twilight's bed, cold sweat running down his body. >Twilight is next to her, her topless lavender body reflecting the moonlight. >She wakes up groggily. >"Something... wrong? Anony babe?"   >Anon catches his breath. "I'm okay. Just a... nightmare."   >Twilight gets up, leaning into his shoulder. She kisses Anon's neck gently. >"What's wrong, my chap? Bad dreams got you sweating bullets?" "Wha—"   >Anon looks down at Flash Sentry, his mustached lips gently nibbling on Anon's nipple. "JESUS FUCK—"     "—ING CHRIST." >Anon jolts upward. >He's back in his dilapidated yellow couch, away from Twilight. >The television is still on, still playing reruns of Mick & Rorty. >Anon lets out a sigh of relief.   "Trix," says Anon, breathing heavily. "You wouldn't believe the dream I just had-" >"Oh, is that why she won't respond to my calls? Too busy getting it on with her *emerald savior*?" >Anon turns his head. Flash Sentry is cracking open the last can of Dude Light.   >Anon puts on a horrified face. "First of all, MY BEER." >He snaps it from Flash, sucking on the foam. >"Excellent hospitality, I must say," pouts Flash Sentry. >Anon ignores that comment.   "Second, why the hell are you in our lab?" >"Wrong place," says Flash, snapping his fingers. "wrong question. Try again." >An ice cold glass of snobby microbrewery ale materializes in his hand. >"A hint, for imbeciles: neither of us are awake right now."   -   >Anon raises his eyebrow, finding his own conclusion rather repulsive. "I'm dreaming. And you're in my dream." >"Splendid answer," says Flash, taking a sip. "And before you ask, I learned it from a blue alicorn with no concept of dream privacy. Took me no time at all to master it, because I'm perfect like that." >Anon crosses his arms. "You've got ten seconds before I wake myself up and kick you out. Why are you in my dream?" >Flash puts his pint down on the coffee table.   >"Have you or your friends noticed anything strange as of late? Dizziness, nausea, rogue rifts in the spacetime continuum?" >Anon nods slowly, finally getting where Flash is going with his insipid dialogue. "Sunset's been responding to lots of 'weird rift' calls lately, yes." >"Uh huh. Anybody else?"   "And Trixie." >Flash motions for Anon to elaborate, rather impatiently. "She feels the splits, I think." >"Of course she'd feel it more than anyone else," snapped Flash. "Did you even take her concerns seriously? Or did you just wave it off with a feelgood friendship monologue like you emerald wankers always do?" >Anon says nothing.   >"The multiverse is going through an unusually malleable period," says Flash Sentry, rather angrily. "The tears are everywhere, but not large enough to be visible. But in here, it's PAINFULLY visible. I pity your lot." >Flash downs the rest of his pint, and refills it with a snap of his fingers.   >"You are aware of M-002's past, I presume?" >Anon nods. >Flash takes a deep pull from the glass this time. >"We're all Schrodinger's Cats, Anonymous. The multiverse is neither stable nor unstable, until a discrepancy is observed. Now that the principle dividends have observed their state, we have defined our own state. And it's not a stable one."   -   >He finishes the rest of the drink, then grunts. He is visibly annoyed. >"My Trixie doesn't deserve you unintelligent emerald plebeians. Always stealing *our* waifus—" "—we're not dating. We're just friends—." >"Oh, do shut up. You're ruining my emotional soliloquy." >Flash lets out a frustrated sigh.   >He stands up. >"Look, I'm sorry. I should be telling this stuff to Trixie, her being the magically attuned one, and whatnot. But she's blacklisted me from her dreams! I can't even call her to say I'm sorry for ditching so many dates!" >Anon can't believe his ears. This is too rich. >Flash is practically on his knees. >"It's really ruining my zen thing, man."   >Flash sighs, recomposing himself. >"Could you maybe... put in a good word? For me? I've given you this information, after all."   >Anon stares at Flash. >His sapphire blue eyes are glittering with tears. >Anon feels a tinge of pity. >He raises his hands, putting them on Flash's shoulders. >He gives them a firm, brotherly squeeze.   "Flash. Dude. Bro." >Flash looks up. >"Y-yes, Anonymous?"   >Anon gives him a shit eating grin. "Emerald wanker can't prose gud. Do it yourself."   >Anon lifts up Flash, then tosses him through the TV in the only way that makes sense in a shared dream. >Flash tumbles through the staticky display, back to his consciousness. >"Fuuuucccckkk yooooouuuu Annnoooonnnnnn"   "I appreciate the talk," shouts Anon. "but never show up in my dream ever again!"     - - - - - -     >The next afternoon, Sunset is back at the Sweet Apple Acres. This time with Applejack and Trixie. >Big Macintosh had made an emergency call, saying the rift had gotten worse. Much worse. >Not wanting to imagine what "worse" meant, Sunset immediately sent a page to Applejack.   EMRGNCY, ROGUE PORTAL AT SAA GOT WORSE. MAKE OBSRVTION URSELF?   >Applejack soon arrived, and the three of them sped away in Sunset's annoyingly sexy Firebird.     >A livestock-sized glowing chain, seemingly leading to nowhere, keeps floating about unapologetically. >It's surrounded by various portable instruments Sunset had brought along with her. >"Ya sure it goes to nowheres, Sunset?" >Sunset nods. >"Yep. I stuck my hand in and everything. I think it's either out in space, or up very high in altitude of some planet."   >Applejack crosses her arms. >"Well, it sure ain't made up of any familiar magic, that's fer sure. Ah can't feel any of our friends' magic in that yonder void." >Sunset checks her instruments. >"And it's definitely not from Equestria, either," her lips merge in a thin line. "I've never seen anything like it." >Applejack growls. >"Of all the places it could be trespassin' it chose our—"   -   >Applejack pauses as Trixie walks slowly past her, towards the glowing rift. >"Uh, Trixie? Ya okay, sugarcube?" >Trixie gets within reach of the portal. Her eyes are fixated on the thing. >Sunset notices Trixie putting her arms out towards the portal.   >"Trixie, you should step away from—" >A loud crackle echoes in the sky as Trixie grabs hold of the rift. >The tear in space-time begins to writhe wildly like an earthworm covered in salt. >Trixie grips the rift with her left hand, then grabs the top with her right. >She then begins moving her right hand downward, slowly and steadily. >Rainbow-colored lightning arcs begin forking out of the rift as Trixie's right hand slowly seals the hole.   >An intense barrage of light and howling noises later, a deafening silence covers the premise. >Trixie collapses on the soft hay floor, sweating profusely. >Sunset looks on slack-jawed, while Applejack rushes forward to support Trixie.   >"Are you okay sugarcube? How in tarnation did you manage to—" >Trixie smiles weakly. >"I caught it with its fly down. Or up, I guess. I just tried to zip it up." >She looks at her own hands, surprised by herself. >"I can't believe it actually works like that," she whispers.   >"Now that's disconcerting as all nine hells," responds Sunset, picking up her equipment. >The three of them nod in agreement.   >"Ah think Twalot might know a thing or two about this portal shenanigans," says Applejack, helping up Trixie.     - - - - - -     >Back at Twi's lab, all eyes are on the proprietor of the underground hellscape. >"You just zipped it up," says Twi. "Like a jacket." >Trixie nods.   >Twilight begins pacing around. >"That's just insane! I mean," pauses Twi, raising her hands apologetically, "no offense, but that's not how spacetime WORKS." >"Well, I used magic," says Trixie, somewhat shyly.   "Twi," says Anonymous. "You're pacing again." >"Right. Sorry."   >Anon thinks for a moment. "You know, Flash Sentry came inside my dream last night." >Sunset chokes on her drink. >Twilight blushes. >Trixie blushes harder. >Applejack lowers her stetson, covering her eyes.   >"Anonymous," says Trixie, sweating. "He did WHAT?" >"Babe," says Twilight. "I know I gave you the cold shoulder last night, but that's just—" "What," says Anon, completely self-unaware. "Can't a guy share a dream with another dude?" >Applejack covers her face with both hands. >"This. Is. So. WRONG." >Anon's face flushes as he realizes what he had just said.   "N-no! It's not like that! He came without my permission and—" >"Oh my god," says Trixie, burying her face in her knees. >Sunset puts her hand on Anon's shoulder. >"It's okay dude, it's all natural. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you mail me a video or two of yourselves to me every now and then—" >"SUNSET SHIMMER, MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT A—" "LADIES!"   >All eyes are on Anonymous. "Flash Sentry dialed into my dream last night. That's all he did. NOTHING LEWD." >The group mouths a collective "oohhh" at the revelation.   >"Well, that's disappointing," says Trixie.   -   >About half an hour and a six pack later, Anon is nearing the end of his riveting tale of dream-sharing with Flash Sentry. "—and that's when I threw Flash Sentry into the TV screen." >Trixie nods. >"Flash may be an idiot, but he's right about one thing," admits Trixie, hesitantly. "And that is?" >"Spiraling instability," answers Twilight.   >Twilight continues, shifting her glasses. >"If we're to restore stability or put a stop to the breach at the very least, we need the other Twilight and her position in the fabric of spacetime continuum. It's the only way to mend the rift."   >Applejack grins. >"Sounds like ya'll got another adventure in yer hands." >Sunset grabs Applejack's arm. >"Won't you come with us this time? You know. Saving the world, galactic adventures—"   >Applejack rubs her neck apologetically. >"Thanks for the offer, but ah've got things to take care of at home." >She huffs. >"The farm's gone mighty sloppy since last time I've been here, and ah gotta whip it back to shape."   >"Although—" >Applejack's eyes light up. >She picks up Spike. >"Would you mind me watching over Spike? He's probably gonna be lonely in the lab, and he hasn't seen Winona in a while. They get along so well together!"   >Twilight smiles. >"Of course, Applejack."     - - - - - -     >That evening, laden with gear, the team prepares for yet another adventure. "Twi, I don't think we can shoot off that much ammo in a decade if we tried." >Twilight waves a dismissive hand. >"Trust me, we're probably gonna end up needing this one way or another. Now help me load this up." >Between the two of them, they stuff the cargo bay of the Rainboom with enough munitions to make a SHTF survival fetishist blush.   >"Phew. Now, for the finishing touch—" >Twilight aims a rectangular pistol-like device at the Rainboom, and pulls the trigger. >The air around them shifts a bit as visible light begins to warp. >Anon squints as the circular ship in front of him is enveloped in thick particle waves, appearing almost pudding-like.   >The Rainboom shrinks into the size of a lumpy golfball in no time. >Anon's jaw drops.   -   "Holy shit." >"I know, right? It cost me a few starcoins, but it's so worth it." >Twilight picks up the miniaturized Rainboom and stuffs it in her pocket. >"All your equipment and transportation, on the go. Isn't this amazing?" >Anon nods in approval. This was indeed amazing. "Well, looks like we're ready to hop some portals. You ready, Trixie?"   >Anon and Twilight turn their heads just in time to see Trixie unzipping a glowing portal out of thin air. >A wide arc of her cutting fingertips is all it takes. >Howling wind kicks up as the air around them are sucked into the impromptu portal sliced open by a pale blue wizard.   >Without hesitating, Trixie grabs Sunset's hand and walks into the portal. >Her eyes are glowing pale blue.   >Sunset tries to resist, but she can't seem to break free from Trixie's grip. >She panics, transforming into a demon. >The demonette tries to pry herself free, to no avail. >She almost looks tearful. >"H-help? Trixie? Guys?" "TRIXIE! STOP—" >The two of them disappear, leaving behind a slowly narrowing portal.   >Twilight, suppressing a wave of panic, grits her teeth. >"Jump through," says Twi. "WHAT??"   >"Jump through! Whatever it is, it's closing rapidly and we have to get our friends back! COME ON!" >Twilight readies her rifle. >Anon snaps out of his stupor, readying his rifle in turn.   >Hand in hand, they sprint towards the portal. >The portal closes just as they're through, slicing off an airline tag from Anon's duffel bag. >Deathly silence befalls the lab.