Title:           Some EQG Dash Prom story
Author:          ThreeCagey
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/QiddLp2N
First Edit:      Sunday 2nd of August 2015 09:49:55 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 3rd of August 2015 08:16:01 AM CDT

>How's it sound taking the single coolest, fastest, awesomest and hottest girl at CHS to the prom?!
>oh
>oh no
>oh god no
>everyone's looking at me
>fuck what do i say
"uh.... uhh..."
>i cant fucking handle girls at all
>why did she have to ask ME?
>Everyone just stares at you
>God damnit brain THINK OF SOMETHING BEFORE YOU MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF
>You hear a sniffle
>Fuck, too late
>You see her run out of the room without saying anything else
>Well great, now you need to damage control
>You run after her out into the hall
 
>You enter to hall to see no one
>Fuck, where did she go?
>All the sudden Bacon air comes out, fuck what was her name? Sunshit Spammer?
>Meh, it'll come to-
>"YOU!"
"Uh, me?"
>Try to act stupid Anon, maybe she won't kick you ass then
>"The fuck is wrong with you? Can you not be a retard for once?"
"I uh.... umm...."
>"Seriously! Rainbow Dash, one of the best looking girls at the school asked YOU to the prom, and you just SIT there?!"
"Well uhh..."
>"Like comon! You're only halfway decent! You should be jumping with joy when sh-"
"Uh, why -did- she ask ME of all people?"
>"Why should you care?1 It's not like you'd be able to get a date to prom anyways!"
"Yeah, I couldn't. I was going to play vidya all day withhout a care in the world, I just want to know WHY? She chould get any guy in the school, but why ME?"
>Shutent Shammer seems to manage to calm down
>*sigh* "She chose you because you aren't a dick to everyone like all the jocks are. Because if she dumped you you wouldn't go around calling her a whore. You're one of the nice ones in this damned school, so she wanted you."
>Well fuck, you know feel like an even bigger ass now
 
"Well damn, I feel like a bigger ass now"
>"You should! You just embarassed her in front of the whole cafeteria!"
"I know, and I feel horri-"
>"Comon, wer're going to find her and you're going to make it up to her"
>Wait, what?
"Uh, what?"
>"You heard me! You're going to make it up, whether you like it or not. I doubt she'll even want to talk to you now, but you can atleast give her an apology, even if it's a half assed one"
"What if she still does though? If all the guys treat her like that, why would she give up that easily?"
>"Because she'll probably think you're one of them now. Oh, and just so you know, if I don't kick your ass after this, the jocks will"
>Fuck.
>You could probably live through getting you're ass kicked by bacon hair, but not by them.
>After a few miutes of her dragging you through the halls, you end up at where Shantut thought she'd go, the band practice room.
>You can her a faint sobbing coming from the room. Yep, you fucked up bad.
>"Alright, you stay here, I'm gonna talk to her, and see if you can't actually do anything to make the situation better"
>Sintart lightly knocks on the door
>"Rainbow? You in there?"
>We know damn well she's in there you stupid cu-
>>"Yeah...*sniffle*"
>"Can I come in?"
>>"Y-yeah...."
>You wait as you faintly hear the conversation going on, and then a small out burst from Rainbow
>>"NO! I DON'T WANNA S-SEE HIM! HE'S JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!"
>...
>>"HE DOESN'T MEAN IT! HE'S LYING I KNOW IT! HE'S JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!"
>...
>...
>Oh fuck why'd it go quiet?
>You see the door open with Suntan in the doorway
>"You. In. Now."
>Well, here goes nothing...
 
>You enter the room to see a very....
>Pissed off wouldn't even be close to the hatred you can see in her eyes right now
>You sit down a decent distance from Dash
>At least far enough to where you can react to her trying to bash your face in with her foot
>You just sit there in silence for a few minutes or so, hoping you wouldn't have to break the silence
>Luckily you didn't have to, Shunsport did that for you
>"So, Anon... You wanted to say something to her?"
>She says it in one of those tones that says "I'm gonna fucking kill you if you don't say something"
"Uh yeah.... Listen Dash, I'm real-"
>>"Sorry, yeah I get it, doesn't make up for the fact that you embarassed me in front of half the school"
>Oh god the malice in her voice actually scares you a bit, and she hasn't even threatened you yet
"Yeah, I know, it's just tha-"
>>"That what? You figured you'd take the popular girl down a notch since all you do play video games all day and you couldn't get a girlfriend?"
>"Dash, let him talk"
>>"Why should I? He's just another jerk! He's probably gonna go tell all his friends he doesn't have how he almost destroyed Rainbow Dash's highschool life or something an laugh about it"
>"Friends he doesn't have?" Ouch.
>I mean it's true other than vidya friends but cmon
"You know, I thought since you we're bitching to your friends about how all the guy treat you, I thought I'd be able to actually apologize to you, but it seems you'd fit in right with, cunt"
>Oh god you probably should NOT have said that
>She starts looking at you like she's about to fucking murder you
>You close your eyes and hope it's quick
 
>...
>...
>Hold on a minute, did she start crying again? The fuck?
>>"I know..." she says through a light sob
>God damnit Anon, why do you have to be so fucking stupid
>>"I try to be nice, but it always seems to come out so mean, the only friends I have that can seem to bear it is Sunset and the others..."
>So that's her name...
>You'll probably forget it again
>"It's not you're fault Dash, you know that"
>>"But it is! I want to be nice but I just can't! So i just kinda stopped trying..."
"If it uh, makes you feel any better, now that you've cooled down, I think you're pretty nice"
>>"But.. How could you say that?! I just insulted you I don't know how many times and you call me nice?!?
>She can't count past 2?
>Brain, don't start shit
>Can't help it, it's my job to start shit
>Yeah, and that's how we got into this
"Yeah, you were angry and people aren't nice when they're angry, just logic. If you can forgive me, I can forgive you"
>She sits there and thinks for a moment
>>"Deal, but, you have to tell the cafeteria that you payed me to go with you. Ya know, damage control?"
>Fuck
>Now You have to embarrass yourself too
>Why did you have to do this to me brain?
>Because you're too stupid not to do shit like this
>Fuck you brain
>Love you too Anon
 
>You arrive back at the cafeteria after a few minutes
"Do I really have to?"
>"Yes"
>>"Yes"
>God damnit
>You hate it when people say shit in unison
>Well, now or never
>Actually retard is now or now
>Shut the fuck up brain
>Make me
>With a displeased sigh, you head into the cafeteria, and head over to one of those stupid stage things that your school has
[spoiler]Yes, my school had that, so his does too[/spoiler]
>You turn the mic on and get everyone's attention
*Ahem* "Attention everyone! I'd like to say something about that event earlier..."
"You see I had to pay Dash to say what she said, but I forgot about it, so I ended up embarrassing her"
"Please do not bother her about it, instead bother me about it. That is all"
>And with that you step off the stage
>A few students who were actually listening put on their "whatever retard" faces and go back to eating
>You don't think anyone actually cared, but hey, if it means you don't get you're ass kicked by two girls, you're happy
 
>You head back down to where RD and Sunset were trying their hardest to not but an imaginary nut by laughing
"What's so funny?"
>>"You were so awkward! How can we not laugh?!" Dash manages to say through her giggling
>You have this sudden urge to smack a bitch or 2 right now
>Shut the fuck up brain, at least she isn't pissed at you anymore
>I can fix that
>SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
>Nnnnope
"So, now that that's over, can I go home and play my vidya?"
>>"Sure, after you take me to prom"
>Excuse me?
"Excuse me?"
>>"Yup, you're still making it up to me by taking me"
"Bu- I went up there and everything!"
>>"Yeah, but I'm not pleased yet. You are taking me"
>Cmon Dash, give him a break"
>>"Hmm.... Nah, he embarrassed me, so I get double back"
>And with that she walks off with a smug ass grin on her face
>Well fuck, looks like them Kerbals are gonna have to defend themsleves against robot invasion
>Shame you didn't build their defenses yet
>Well, you COULD do that by next week, but...
>No man can fight giant robots from space trying to destroy all of Kerbal kind with THIS going on
>Guess you'll have to make a new save
>"So uh, I guess you're going to prom then"
"Yup"
>"You uh, Need help getting ready for it?"
"Mmm Hmm"
>*sigh* "Well, I guess I could help you, as long as you do one thing for me"
>She wants you to fuck her doesn't she?
>God damnit there's already this and now Sunset is going to blackmail you to fu-
>"I want you to help Dash learn how be nice to people"
>Uh what?
 
"What?"
>"I want you to help dash be a nicer person, you know, show her how to complement people and stuff"
"Uh, I'm not sure I can do that, I can barely talk to her without being scared for my life"
>"It's not like she's gonna kill you or anything"
"It's not that, it's just I've never been good with, you know, girls in general"
>"Then pretend she's a guy"
"Kinda hard to do that when she has a body like that"
>"Just try ok? I'll even get some of my friends to help you"
>You start to wonder what'd happen if you just stay home anyways
>You'll probably get your ass kicked by the girls AND the jocks
>So either die or be out of your zone that you oh so much love
>You'd normally pick death
>But the Kerbals need you!
>Wait, they're already gonna die by you going...
>...
>The Kerbals that are going to be in your new save need you!
>And plus dying will probably hurt
>You don't like hurt
>Hurt bad
>Why does the world hate you?
>Why can't it be like Kerbin, where you're loved by many
>...
>Fuck you really need to get out more if you consider yourself the saviour of a game race
*sigh* "Fine"
 
>"Good. Meet me in the library first thing tommorrow, I'll get the others and we'll set it all up"
"How early is first thing tommorrow?"
>"About 9 tommorrow morning"
>Too early it seems
>Fuck
"Ugh, why that early?!"
>"Just be there"
"Fiiiiine"
>Now that that's over, you realize you never really finished your food
>And fuck were you hu-
>RIIIIIINNNG
>Every fucking time
>Well, no use moping over it
>Thank god you can make a sammich when you get home
>As you head to P.E., because appearently anon always has P.E. after lunch, you head by the vending maching to grab something decent to hold you over...
>...Or you would have if it wasn't fucking broken again
>Hooray!...
>Thankfully it's just more fucking running around the track
>You've never been the athletic type, but hey, the coach let's you walk it, so thats a plus at least
 
>Queue that one timepass that people always use cause it's the easy way out
 
>RIIIIIINNNG
>And with that, school is over for the week
>Time to go home and bindge on Trove becuase you're that much of a faggot
>...
>Shut up it's actually fun
>...When you aren't clearing out an island for your club no one is going to join
>Why'd you decide to do that again?
>Oh yeah, your massive fucking OCD told you to
>The walk home is fairly uninventful, other than you getting hyped about what your spawn will look like
>Then you remember how much farming you'll have to do
>..
>Maybe you'll skip out on it for another day, you did just get a new class after all
>Some fairy thing
>Even if it is gay as hell, it fucking kills everything
>Oh, you're home, when'd that happen?
>Dunno, but SAMMICH TIIIIME
 
>A few hours later...
 
"Well damn, midnight already? I'm not even tired"
>Buuuut you do need to get up real damn early tommorrow
>I mean cmon! 9am? That's almost as early as the time you get up for school!
>Fuck it, sleep time
>If you're going to be waking up so early tommorrow, you can at least get SOME sleep
>Even if it is for the weak
>You turn off your monitor-tv setup you have
>Awesome for those movies you get for free
>As you lie in your bed you start to think about all the shit that's happened today
>You made some girl cry
>Who you're now going to prom with
>You might have made a real life friend
>With a girl none the less
>And you now how to make MORE friends AND teach Dash how to be nice
>...
"Why does life hate me?"
>And with that, sleep overcomes you
 
>Next morning
>Alarm goes off
>God damnit you hate it that yours is so old you can't configure the different days for it to go off
>As you try to go back to sleep something pops up in your mind
>Hey retard, you gotta be at the library today
>Fuuuuck
>You look at the clock
>7:10
>Almost 2 hours till you have to go
>You can't go back to sleep, otherwise you'll sleep well into the afternoon
>...
>Vidya?
>Vidya.
>You spent the next hour and a half or so playing Skyrim, cause why the fuck not
>And when you say playing, you really mean destroying Whiterun over and over with many mods and quicksaves
>Why is that so fun again?
>Oh yeah, it's Whiterun, what not to love about destroying it?
>As you get ready to go take a shower, you look at the time
>The library is only like 10 minutes away, you probaby have ti-
>8:47
>Well shit
>No shower for you then
>It's fine, not like you smelled an-
>You're cut off when you decide to sniff yourself
>Ohgodwhy.jpg
>Ok, maybe 5 minute shower, then run
>...
>...
>Ok shower done, have time for munch?
>8:54
>NO TIME FOR MUNCH
>You quickly get dressed as fast as you can
>They probably won't mind if you're late a couple minutes, but you don't like being late
>EVER
>God why did you have to be plagued with OCD?
 
>After getting dressed, you shove your shoes on and rush towards the door
>"Where are you off to this early?" You hear your mother say in the kitchen making herself breakfast
>You almost forgot you had parents
"NO TIME GOTTA GO FAST K BYE"
>And with that you bolt out the door, leaving your mother with a VERY confused look
>Like seriously it looks like someone stuck something up her ass and she's not sure if she enjoys it or n-
>BAD THOUGHTS BAD THOUGHTS!
>You're running down the street like an idiot but who cares?
>Neighbours seem to care
>Eh, who the fuck cares what they think
>After doging cars heading to work, and a pedestrian or two you make it to the town's library in relatively short time
>Check phone
>8:59
>HA! Fuck you OCD! I win this time!
>Standing for a moment to catch your breath, you head inside to look for the girls that you we're told to meet
 
>You instantly see them
>Like come on, it's not hard to miss baconhair
>As you stroll over to them, Sunset, that's her name right? Yeah, Sunset see's you and waves to you, which seems to get the other three's attention
"Uh, hey Sunset"
>SS "Hey, so uh, I want you to meet Applejack"
>AJ "Howdy"
>SS "Rarity"
>R "Hello"
>SS "Fluttershy"
>FS "H-hi..."
>SS "And Pinkie Pie"
>...
>SS "Pink-"
>PP "HIYA!"
>OHJESUSMOTHEROFCHRISTWHATTHEFUCK
"JESUS FUCK!"
>You manage to scramble out as you nearly have a heart attack from the sudden pink jumpscare and end up on the floor with a look in your eyes that makes you look like you've just seen you're family murdered and then you were forced to eat them on the spot
>SS "Pinkie! Don't do that! You almost gave him a heart attack!"
>PP "Sorry.."
>Her hair almost seems to deflate a tad bit, but you don't really notice it
>You're too busy trying to decide whether to still be scared as fuck or pissed off
>Right now it's a bit of both
"H-hi' everyone"
>My god poofhair seriously freaked you the fuck out, you could hear it in your voice
>SS "So uh, Anon here needs help with preparing for the prom, and since he has to go with Rainbow, we made a deal"
>AJ "Wait, Rainbow asked HIM to go with her? Why? He seems a tad you know, antisocial?"
>Well, she is kinda right
>SS "You know why AJ, but as I said, we made a deal, we help him prepare himself, and he helps us fix Dash's personality"
>R "But how will be able to acomplish that? You can't change something that doesn't want to be changed anymore"
>SS "Which is why I made a plan, Anon, you're going to have to change her, but you can't actually try, else it'll be too obvious"
>What?
>Do something by not trying?
>How the hell does that work?
 
"And how does that work?"
>SS "Easy, just be yourself, have some fun, maybe something will rub off on her"
"But being myslef is being a shut-in playing vidya all day AVOIDING girls, not hanging out with them"
>SS "Then we'll have to change that"
>Oh fuck
>They're going to make you SOCIAL?
>You almost feel like dying is a btter option right now
>It's be pretty easy now that you think about it
>All it'd take is a note and something shar-
>SS "So it's settled! Rarity, you make him a tux, I doubt he can afford one anyways"
>R "I'll get started right away!"
>SS "Pinkie, you teach him how to be social"
>PP "Okie dokey!"
>SS "AJ Since you're almost as athletic as Rainbow, you teach him some sports he can handle, make him be an outside person"
>AJ "Will do"
>SS "Me and fluttershy will help him get used to being around girls"
>FS "W-why me?!"
>SS "Because you have your own problem you need to get over, and this will help you"
>FS "B-but what if I don't wanna get over it??"
>SS "Will you get over it for Rainbow?"
>She seems to think extra hard on this small decision, she doesn't want to be around anyone that isn't one of her friends, yet she wants to help her friend by doing this
>After almost a minute she nods her head in slight displeasure, but determination
>SS "Alright, so, Anon, meet me at rarity's tommorrow, after that we'll start with your anti-shut-in training"
>With that Rarity writes down her address and a time, and they all leave
>Well shit
>It seems tommorrow you're gonna actually do something with your life
>Whether you like it or not
>...
>Why does the world hate you?
>Why can't it just let you be some guy who does nothing but plays vidya, that'd be a good life
>But it seems this is gonna be youe life now
>All because you couldn't think of anything to say to the rainbow haired girl at lunch
 
>As you walk out of the library, you notice the time the note has on it
>11:00
>Why does it have to be morning?
>Why can't in be in the afternoon?
>Like seriously why do they like morning so much?
>Must be some side effect they get from being social or something
>Like you can at least get today, since on weekends the library is only open until 1:00, but WHY 9AM?!?
>You noticed people have started to stare at you
>Oh shit, have you just been standing in the courtyard while ranting in your head about that?
>Yes retard you have
>Shut up brain, I didn't ask you
>Well, you asked it in your head, so yes you did dipshit
>...
>Godamnit he has a point
>You know I do
>You quickly throw your hands into your pockets and trudge down the street, until you reach home
>As you open the door and walk past the livingroom where your mother is watching TV, she stops you
>"So where were you off in a rush to?"
>All you can mumble out is
"Don't want talk just sleep"
>"You can sleep after you tell me what been up with you recently, yesterday you were all pouty and today you get up in the morning and go out somewhere? That isn't the Anon I know"
*Sigh* "Well...."
As you tell her what's happened between today and yesterday, she seems confused yet interested
>"Sooooo, to make things simple... You have a girlfriend?~"
"Wha-? No!"
>"Sounds to me like you do~"
"Yeah ok, whatever"
>And with that, you head over to your room, and go back to sleep
 
>You wake up a few hours later and start going zombie mode on Skyrim, it's still so much damn fun to nuke Whiterun
>All of the sudden you hear a knock at your front door
>Your parents went out for a few hours earliar, could they have forgotten the house key again?
>You pause Skyrim in the middle of a Thomas The Train Dragon roasting Nazeem
>As you open it, you see a face that you really didn't want to see right now
"Sunset, why are you here?"
>She just struts past you like she lives here
>"I'm here to start your training"
"I thought that was tommorrow?"
>"It is, well the active part atleast"
"So, this is the passive part?"
>"Yup"
>Oh god what is she going to do to you?
>Wait, why is she going into your room?
>...
>Why do you hear stuff being put into a bo-
>NO
>NO
>SHE ISN'T
>IS SHE?
>She walks back out with a box full of console games and your xbox
>SHE IS
>WHAT THE FUCK
"What are you doing with my xbox shit?!?!"
>"Don't worry, this it just to get you used to not going to video games whenever you're bored, you need to learn to go outside for a change, not stay inside for the rest of your life"
"But that's MY XBOX SHIT!"
>"Think of it as you getting grounded, oh, and don't worry about your parents freaking, I saw them at the store, your mom said you told her that "baconhair was making you be social", so that's how I figured out how to get here"
>And with that, she leaves
>With your xbox shit
>Fuck
 
>Well, at least you have your comput-
>Why is it off?
>...
>She fucking took your power cable to it
>Well shit, guess you'll go watch TV
>You walk into your livingroom, and sit down on the couch
>Ah, nice an comfy
>Sometimes this is more comfortable than your bed
>As you flick on the TV and switch through the channels, you quickly find that nothing is on that interests you
>Well shit
>Wait...
>Didn't you still have that old GBA in your attic somewhere?
>You quickly run upstairs and head into the attic
>Oh god it's dusty
>Why is it so dusty?
>It's like a desert of dust in here
>You start rumaging through boxes hoping to find your solstice from boredom
>You quickly find the tech boxes
>Not in that one
>Not in that one
>Not there either
>Not he- Oh wait
>Yes! You found it!
>God you hope it still works
>You flick it on, light's red
>So it works, but it's gonna die if you don't find the charger
>Too bad you lost the charger years ago
>Well shit
>Guess you'll have to go outside for a change