Title:           Blue Pill
Author:          Shutdown64
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/6uywjvFR
First Edit:      Wednesday 5th of August 2015 03:25:41 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 25th of October 2015 12:47:51 PM CDT

"Oi, is my story boring you? Music getting too loud for ya, grandpa?"
 
Distracted, you only just now tune into FRIEND1's irradiated words over the ruckus of the party.
 
"Huh? Oh, nah, that's not it." you reply truthfully. Sure, FRIEND1's tales usually dragged on and were known to be completely over-exaggerated (proportional to the amount of drink consumed), but you wouldn't deliberately ignore him.
 
"Then what's the matter with ya?" FRIEND1 scorns through his plastic beer cup, his eyebrow raised inquisitively.
 
"There's this girl over there that keeps looking this way. I -think- she's looking at me, but each time our eyes meet she immediately looks away. Putting me on edge."
 
You glance towards the her again taking in the her neat turquoise-blue vest top, frayed denim shorts and neon-cyan flipflops.
 
"Which one?" FRIEND1 asks impatiently, twisting around in an melodramatic fashion.
 
"Ooh. OOOH."
 
He spins around, a devilish glint in his eye.
 
"Surely not that bright blue lass, the one with her hair in a pony tail?"
 
"Yup, that's the one. She keeps looking this way."
 
FRIEND1 has a silent chuckle to himself, signaling for you and your already wasted buddy FRIEND2 to move in closer.
 
"Nah, man, you want to stay away from her. I've heard... things."
 
"Shh'what fings?" FRIEND2 slurs thickly as he stumbles on the spot.
 
"You remember my pal Dan, right? Y'know," he sniggers, "The infamous 'Two-Can-Dan'?"
 
"Ain't that the guy who downed 2 cans of beer on a dare, thought he was gonna vomit and then proceeded to pass out over the toilet bowl and whacked his head?"
 
FRIEND1 roars with laughter, "Hah, yup! Absolutely twatted his head on the bowl, had to get 4 stitches. He isn't here tonight, bless him, trying to keep a low profile. Y'see, the other week or so, y'know, that party down Mark's place? Ol' Two-Can-Danny somehow managed to hook up with Ms Pony tail over there" he subtly jerks his thumb in the girl's direction.
 
"So she's easy?" you ask somewhat flatly.
 
"Must be if she can settle for Dan, eh? But that's not what I was getting at." FRIEND1 dismisses with a wave.
 
"What hURRP-pened then?" FRIEND2 asks trying to disguise a burp. You stare down at the beer cradled in your hands, devoting your attention to listening.
 
"So get this: after Mark's party Dannyboy walks Ms Pony tail back to her place, and, I swear, the Gods of luck were looking down on dear Dan that night. She plays the subtle 'Netflix & Chill' card and invites him in for some coffee. We ALL know what direction this is going." your friend jovially exclaims. "So of course, our boy Dan wants in. Poor bugger hasn't had his dick wet in months, so he's practically gagging for it. Apparently her place was MASSIVE too; really roomy apartment, modern interior, marble floors, Apple products in every room, even a fireplace... Rich family shit. Anyway..."
 
Your brain tunes out for a second as you catch the subject of your conversation glance at you yet again. This time you try return her gaze, but she instantly switches it back to the guy she was chatting with. Your brow furrows in confusion. Was there something stuck to your face that was catching her eye? Was your fly undone? Nah, surely not...
 
"Oi, I know the story's getting interesting, but no need for that!" FRIEND1 jokes as your hand quickly confirms that your zip was indeed up. "Yeah, so... not long after 'Netflix & Chill' escalated in to 'Who can eat the other's face first', they stumble in Ms Pony tail's master bedroom. Now, Dan's hit the jackpot - the trumpets of Jesus himself blare in his ears as he counts his lucky stars for the penis-blessing he is about to receive. His sexy gravy is flowing; he's about to hit that home-run and redeem some of his shattered pride. Sadly for him..." FRIEND1 chuckles, "fate had other plans."
 
"What happened? Did her boyfriend come back home or something?" you ask, getting into the story.
 
"Heh, if only it was that simple." FRIEND1 grins, enjoying having an audience.
 
"Go on..."
 
"Well after more vertical face-wrestling and butt-groping, she manages to strip Dannyboy down to his wee thighty whities, right? Places him on the bed effortlessly. It's funny really, Dan thinks he's hot-shit, but as soon as a woman shows initiative? He submits like a loyal puppy, tail wagging. So he lies there watching intently as she does a sexy strip tease to just her panties, and then slowly she crawls on top of him just like a spider to a fly. They start get feisty."
 
"I 'unno, this don't shound too weird to me, man..." FRIEND2 mumbles, sounding disappointed.
 
"That was my reaction too when Dan told me this," FRIEND1 dismisses, "but it gets GOOD, bear with me. Shortly after things get sweaty, Ms Pony Tail tells Dannyboy to close his eyes. Now, being the submissive sap he is, of course he complies. She gets off the bed. He hears some rummaging, doesn't think much of it, until..."
 
FRIEND1 purposefully takes a long swig of his beer to leave you both on baited breath.
 
"Well?" you ask expectantly. The corners of a cheeky grin protrude from the rim of FRIEND1's beer cup.
 
"So she sits on top of him again, right? Kisses his forehead and then, get this, pops something small into his mouth. Ecstasy? Ibuprofen? A skittle? Who knows. It wasn't sweet though, and that immediately rang Dannyboy's alarm bells. She tells him to just swallow, and then to reopen his eyes. He doesn't swallow, instead pushes the drug or whatever under his top lip. Next, expecting to get a face-full of pussy, he willingly opens his eyes. He was wrong. Dead wrong. Instead, in her hand she's gripping..." FRIEND1's voice drops to the smallest of whispers "a Big. Black. Horse-cock dildo. Rubber, about 15 inches. I shit you not."
 
The mouthful of lukewarm beer you were trying to swallow sprays all over FRIEND2. He fails to notice, his jaw already dropped from shock.
 
"What?! Why would she have... hey, she didn't use it on Dan, did she?" You gulp, your butt clenching sympathetically.
 
"Eh, sadly not. Well, maybe thankfully not. But that's not all she'd pulled out. Oh, no. She was also wearing a gag, a buttplug, all kinds of crazy BSDM shit." FRIEND1 listed off incredulously, "Then she starts screaming about how she wants him to rut her, pull her hair, impregnate her. Needless to say, Dan lost his nerve. Spat out the pill and fuckin' ran. Literally ran out of the room, down the stairs, up the street. All the while still in his underwear. Last thing he heard was her calling his name out the window."
 
There's a protracted pause in which FRIEND2 stumbles dangerously backwards.
 
"Wow. So long story short, that girl over there wants to drug males and rape them with big horse dildos? That's quite the tale." you state, "Oh, and uh, poor Dan, I guess."
 
"Oh, speaking of, Dan doesn't want me to tell this story to ANYONE. So." FRIEND1 taps his nose and winks cheekily.
 
"S'how much of thish shtory 'ish actually true?" FRIEND2 blurts out, the niggling of doubt eating away at him, "I mean, I sheriously doubt Dan would tell you any of thish, especially in such detail..."
 
"Yes, you're right, he normally wouldn't. But with 'Two-Can-Dan' being his downfall, well, you can say I 'persuaded' him to spill his guts when we were out drinking the other night." FRIEND1 winks again, "I don't even know how it's possible to get so drunk after 2 pints, but he gets so fucked he literally can't tell his arse from his elbow."  
 
"That's shtory 'ish fuckin' MENTAL, man. Worsht nightmare, some crazy bitch handcuffin' me and rammin' a buttplug up my chocolate starfish" FRIEND2 slurs, grabbing onto a radiator to balance himself.
 
"Well, if the purpose of that story was to make me feel even more uncomfortable with those glances, it worked." you say while quickly stealing a glance at the girl again. This time she wasn't looking as she conversed with someone behind her.
 
"Kay I gotta go piss," FRIEND1 states bluntly, "But, guys, don't forget the moral here - under EVERY pony tail is an asshole. Remember that."
 
With those final words of wisdom, FRIEND1 stretches out an arm to the wall and slowly staggers off upstairs. FRIEND2 swears violently under his breath as the radiator he'd been leaning on burns his hand. He then has a quite chortle to himself.
 
"Two-Can-Dan, eh? Couldn't imagine a bigger loser if I tried."
 
"That's what you're taking away from this? But, I mean, sure." you respond with half-interest. Looking down at the lukewarm dregs at the bottom of your beer cup, you decide it's time to refill at the nearest keg.
 
"Gonna go refill in the kitchen, back in a bit man."
 
FRIEND2 grunts as you turn around and proceed to weave through the crowd of staggering party-goers. The short walk helps you gauge your sober-level which, to your surprise, wasn't too bad. You were slightly buzzed, but not in the pitiful state that FRIEND2 was. As you reach the kitchen, you're glad to see it's completely devoid of people. Sat on the counter-top were three cheap beer kegs, each slowly leaking their pale watery nectar. You didn't really feel up to drinking more rancid pisswater-tier beer but, bar FRIEND1's stories, the current party had been soul-destroyingly dull. Only consuming more alcohol to poison your brain would fix that.
 
A quick sip of your refilled beer cup makes you gag; the warm bitterness not sitting down well at all making your tongue feel like it'd just licked a dog's ass. Irritated, you crush the plastic cup and whip out your phone to browse YouTube instead. Watching shitty Fail video collages was more entertaining than this.
 
"Hey, excuse me."
 
"Hmm?" You mumble, tearing your eyes away from a teenager falling off a skateboard. Stood before you, in her turquoise glory, was the staring girl you'd just been gossiping about. She was only a few inches shorter than you, her brown eyes complimenting her neatly tided brunette hair. You almost drop your phone in surprise.
 
"Ah, right" you say knowingly, quickly shifting out of her way to allow access to the beer kegs.
 
"Uh, no, not that. Sorry. I was actually wanting to ask you about your t-shirt."
 
"Huh? My t-shrit?" you repeat perplexed, looking down. It was just a plain ol' black t-shirt with a small colored hexagon in the middle. The hexagon was comprised of 6-colored slices."
 
"Yeah, your t-shirt. I saw it earlier and thought I recognized the colors. I mean, Purple, White, Cyan, Pink, Yellow, Orange..."
 
It takes a second for you to process what she was getting at, but then the penny dropped: she'd figured out what your 'subtle' t-shirt was referencing.
 
"Uh-" you start, trying to mentally abort this conversation.
 
"Those are the main colors of the mane characters from My Little Pony, right? Are you a brony?"
 
Your heart explodes at the sudden uncovering of your power level.
 
"I, uh..." you mumble, not sure on how to respond without sounding like an utter tool. It's your own damn fault wearing this shirt in public.
 
"Well I'm a pegasister!" the girl blurts out enthusiastically, "I love that shit, it's so cute. Trust me, anyone who likes that show is cool in my book. My name is PONEG, nice to meet you."
 
You hide your knee-jerk reaction to the term 'pegasister' by taking another sip of shitty beer.
 
"Oh, uh, yeah, my name is MAINDUDE."
 
"MAINDUDE? You wouldn't happen to know someone called FRIEND1 would you?"
 
"Uhh..." comes your dim-witted reply. Your mind was suddenly too preoccupied with generating images of the girl before you flapping around a giant horse dildo.
 
"Sorry, am I annoying you? How much have you had to drink?" she asks, looking slightly put-out by the less-than-warm welcome you'd given her.
 
Mentally slapping yourself awake, you decide to just deal. This party sucks enough balls, maybe conversing will speed it up.
 
"Uh, no, sorry," you blurt out, imitating her apologies, "I was just trying to get over how fuckin' horrid the beer here is. I, uh, -might- watch that show. And yes, I know FRIEND1. Why do you ask?"
 
"Oh, I was chatting to a few people." she replies looking relieved, "If you know FRIEND1, do you know a guy called Dan?"
 
This strikes you as a potentially dangerous question, but you decide that you don't have anything to hide.
 
"The guy who battered his head off a toilet? I've met him once or twice, but wouldn't say I really know him. Why?"
 
She giggles loudly. "Oh did he really?! He told me that scar on his head was from some macho bar fight. I ask 'cause I haven't him around lately and he won't answer my calls. Do you know where he lives?"
 
"Not a clue. I don't even have his number, but I can guarantee he's probably out being a tit somewhere."
 
She giggles again as she steps closer to refill her cup. "Yeah... he was a bit of a tit. Wish I could clear stuff up with him, though."
 
She sighs heavily as warm frothy beer farts out the keg nozzle with the appetizing consistency of a burst abscess. Stuffing your phone back into your pocket, you try and play this situation cool despite your heart going at the rate of a jackhammer.
 
"Told you the beer was horrid."
 
"It really is. This house party has been terrible." she confirms.
 
Taking refuge at the kitchen table, you both engage in conversation. Topic varied from complaining about the terrible the beer and party was, to favorite car manufacturers, to best songs, to coolest animals. The chatting only stopped briefly when another party-goer excitedly exclaimed that the host's parent's wine stash had been discovered. You and PONEG happily indulged yourselves.
 
"I'm fuckin' tellin' you man, Rarity is the BEST pony." you argue, tipsy from cheap wine. PONEG bursts into a fit of contagious giggles, "You're so drunk, it's clearly Rainbow. I'll prove it, check my flipflops!"
 
PONEG lifts her long, silky leg and points her foot at you.
 
"See? Rainbow Dash flipflops!"
 
You steal a glimpse of her ass as she wobbles slightly on the chair, her legs separating slightly.
 
"Mmm, nice." You nod. Checking your watch, you say it's just reached 1am.
 
"Shiiit it's getting late. Wonder where my mates are." you wonder aloud as you rub your groggy forehead. "Maybe I should go look for 'em."
 
"Aww do you have to? I was enjoying schoolin' you on how Rainbow is the best!" she proclaims, knocking an empty beer cup to the floor.
 
"I gotta find them, the plan was I'd crash at FRIEND1's place tonight. Better not have ditched me, that wanksack." Standing up, you're not as steady on your feet as you'd expected. Your hands leap to the recently vacated chair for support.
 
"You can always crash at mine" PONEG asks tentatively as she also wills herself to stand.
 
"Crash at yours? But I hardl-" you started to say, but are cut-off as you're kissed on the lips. In a fraction of a second your heart swells and then bursts, releasing a flurry of butterflies that tickle your tonsils and stir your stomach. In your mind, a sudden lustful beast rears its head, sniffing at the air intently.
 
PONEG takes a step back looking sheepish. It was the cutest thing you'd ever seen.
 
"We could... watch Netflix and chill?" she adds in a persuasive voice.
 
Those words act as a trigger, making you freeze. Shit, you'd forgotten all about FRIEND1's story in the heat of the moment. *** fraction of your rational mind still awake immediately brought up FRIEND1's story. What if you became a victim like Dan? Nah... that story was just improvised. Surely. Though, she did ask about Dan, so that means she did know him...
 
"Is that a yes...?" she asks, her gaze switching back and forth between her Rainbow Dash flipflops and you.
 
Now that your inner lustful beast had been awakened, there was nothing more you wanted to do than take off her panties with your teeth. It'll be fine. Totally fine. There just wasn't any possible way someone so innocent-looking could have tried to drug someone and shaft them with a horse dildo.
 
"I'll walk you to your place at least, it's late." you decide, trying to sound impressive. PONEG giggles, but then gracefully bows to show she accepts. Together, you make your way out of the kitchen and tiptoe through the rest of the house trying to avoid stepping on people passed out on the floor. As you reach the front door, you spot FRIEND2 slumped on the couch drooling all over himself.
 
"Some party." you murmur when stumbling through the door's threshold. "Glad I'm not stickin' around to clean up."
 
The cool night breeze was welcome after being incubated in the stale smell of cheap beer.
 
You walk back to play. kissy kissy.