Title:           Apple Bloom and Anon (Collab with käosmastr)
Author:          Rokade
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/kviRRMSX
First Edit:      Sunday 19th of February 2017 06:05:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 20th of February 2017 04:07:32 PM CDT

>Be Anon, the only human in the world of colourful talking miniature horses.
>You're at Sweet Apple Acres, having tea with Apple Bloom, the best filly in all of Equestria.
>Amazingly, Equestrian society doesn't mind the fact that you two are essentially dating.
>Back on Earth, you would've been sentenced to three lifetimes in prison before you could even blink.
 
>So far, this tea time has been rather quiet. You and AB merely exchange loving glances.
>After a few more sips of Tea, Bloom decides to break the silence.
>"Ah really love havin' tea with ya, Anon, but we do it every day. How 'bout we change it up an'do somethin' else tomorrow?
"Oh, eh, something else?"
>You scour your brain for an adequate activity.
>What is it that fillies like to do?
>Is there even anything that Apple bloom hasn't done yet?
>You've heard the tales of when she was trying to get her cutie mark.
>Gliding, rafting, talent shows; she's done it all.
>Oh crap, you've fallen silent for too long.
>Across the table the filly looks at you expectantly.
>"Well? What do ya have in mind, Anon?"
>You have to think of something now.
"We, uh, we could do... ehm... coffee?"
>"That'd be just the same as havin' tea, silly! How about somethin' more different?
"Heh, oops, you're right, let me think a sec."
>Come on, don't blow this.
"We could..."
>Your mouth is open, but your tongue doesn't know where to go.
"... l-lemonade?"
>She giggles again.
>Haha, yeah you were just joking.
>You're going to say something relevant any time now.
"How about we go... hiking?"
>"Well, hikin' sounds innerestin'. Ah dunno if ah'd like to do it every day now, but maybe just once in a while."
"Yeah, exactly."
>"Where did ya want to hike then?"
>These questions are killing you; taking the initiative is hard.
"How about... Ghastly Gorge?"
>"Ghastly Gorge is a little extreme now, don't ya think? How about somewhere a little...safer?"
"We could do a trip around the Acres; that should be safe."
>As well as boring, but one thing at a time.
>"Good idea. Ah'd take a walk around the farm over Ghastly Gorge any day."
>Any second now, you'll have to come up with a time, a meetup place, additional preparations.
>The easy times of daily tea are over.
"So, how big exactly are the Acres?"
>Please be doable, you don't exactly have the endurance of a horse.
>"Well, ah dunno the exact dimensions and everythin', but it don't really matter. If ah can walk it all, you can too."
>Oh boy, she's got expectations.
"Well, I guess I'll just come by tomorrow then, somewhere around noon?"
>"Noon sounds good. See ya then, Anon."
 
-----
 
>The next day.jpg
>After a rough night's sleep, you finally recharge your batteries enough to function in society.
>You exit your humble cottage in Ponyville and begin your stroll to Sweet Apple Acres.
>Ponk stands outside Sugarcube Corner, hawking free mini-cupcakes.
>You snag one on your way through town, polishing it off in seconds.
>It's not long before you arrive at the Acres. Bloom has taken the liberty of coming to greet you at the gate.
>"Ya ready for our 'walk', Anon?"
"Sure am. You lead the way, cause I wouldn't know where to start."
>"It's not a complicated route, we just follow the fence 'n the trees."
>You nod to the filly; you're ready to go.
>"Oh right, ah nearly forgot, Winona's comin' along. Winona! Come here, girl!"
>The brown and white dog comes running from the bushes.
>She jumps up against you, barking for attention.
"Whoah, take it easy, doggy."
>The filly giggles.
>"Winona doesn't bite, Anon, she just wants ta play."
>You're not exactly thrilled with the third wheel concept, but making AB happy is your role in life.
>If she wants Winona to come along, Winona's gonna come along.
>After some good pets on the head, the dog settles down and walks in front of you and AB.
"I guess she's gonna lead the way?" you ask AB.
>"Sure. That's why ah brought'er along!", she replies.
>In reality, AJ didn't want Winona to track mud on the clean kitchen floor until the wax dried.
>The dog walks slowly, as if she were aware of her role as tour guide.
>You and AB follow behind, keeping pace with each other.
>"Beautiful day, in'nit Anon?"
"Yeah. I wish every day was just like this."
>"But we'd need rain for plants to grow."
"If every day were warm and sunny, I think the plants would find other water sources."
"Besides, it can rain at night. We'd just have to hope that the mud dries by morning."
>She acknowledges your response with a simple nod.
>Winona is leading you through rows of trees, seemingly zigzagging through the well-manicured forest at random.
"I wonder where she's headed?"
>"Ah dunno, but she must know where she's goin'."
>With the random navigation, you're beginning to think that Winona is leading you two in a complete circle.
>Or some sort of closed-loop polygon.
>Eventually, you spot a diversion from the endless grid of apple trees.
>It turns out to be a gently-sloping hill, overlooking yet another excel spreadsheet of apple trees.
>Now you can see that the trees do indeed have an end, and beyond said end is an empty meadow.
>"Ah guess we can sit on the hill and take in the scenery for a while."
"Sounds good to me."
>You're not exhausted yet, but a break in the monotony is nice.
>Before you two get situated, Winona barks twice. You both look back to see what's the matter.
>She stands below a tree that is decorated with rainbow-coloured apples.
>"The zap apples! They weren't supposed to be ready for another three weeks yet!"
>The zap apples?
>Oh right, the magical ones that vanish as suddenly as they appear.
"Wait, doesn't your grandmother keep track of the signs?"
>"She did hear the wolves howlin', but she was sure the apples would need more time."
>Old age must finally be getting to the mare then.
>Well, that's probably the end of your leisurely afternoon.
"Should we run back and get your siblings?"
>"No need, ah'll send Winona to get 'em. You and I can start buckin'!"
>Hours of shaking apples out of trees? Terrific.
>Your muscles groan preemptively at the prospect.
>At Bloom's command, Winona dashes off.
>"C'mon Anon, ah'm not as strong a bucker as AJ, but ah bet with your length, we can make a nice start."
>Let's get started.
>You approach one of the zap apple trees, grip the trunk, and try to shake it.
>The filly runs up to your tree and delivers her momentum onto it.
>Some magical fruit falls down, but most apples remain in their place.
>"Try to jump and pick 'em off the branches!"
>First you take a few steps back, so you can build up some speed.
>Then you go for the jump, your legs lifting you up toward the treasure.
>Both of your hands find an apple, and your weight tears them off their branch.
>However, you lose your balance, and start to turn mid-air.
>You extend your arms, to avoid a face plant.
>The impact leaves you intact, but crushes the apples.
>"Anon, be careful!"
>You get up and brush yourself off.
"Sorry. Maybe I should just leave the apple bucking to your family."
>"But ah'm sure with some practice, you could be the best apple-bucker in all of Equestria!"
"I don't know about that."
>"Well, you could at least be pretty good."
"You'd think that, but I'm awful clumsy. Those two zap apples will vouch for me."
>In the distance you hear trotting.
>Looking towards the source of sound, you see Applejack and Big McIntosh, sprinting behind Winona.
>They arrive not long afterwards, both towing empty carts.
>"Zap apples? Already?!" AJ asks.
>You gesture to the tree, and then to the two smashed apples on the ground.
"I tried to pick a couple, but failed miserably. I'll leave the bucking up to you instead."
>You and AB resume your positions on the hill as AJ and Big Mac tend to the zap apple trees.
>The two of you just sit there, listening to the sound of hooves slamming against tree bark and the squeak of wagon wheels.
>This would've been much more romantic in the evening, and without the fracas behind you.
>But the two of you enjoy each other's company.
 
>"Well, looks like that's all of'em."
>"Eeyup."
>You turn to see the dishevelled-looking farm ponies admiring the filled wagons of rainbow fruit.
>"Good eye, Anon! We might notta seen them zap apples in time!"
"Don't thank me, thank Winona!"
>Winona barks happily. Applejack gives her a pat of appreciation.
>Big Mac takes one cart back to civilisation, but AJ points to her cart.
>"Take two anyway. Think of it as a thank-ya for taking good care of my lil' sis."
"Are you sure?" you ask, getting up to collect your reward.
>"Absolutely. Take your pick."
>You pick two apples from the cart and thank her.
>She and Winona depart. Quiet at last.
>You hand Apple Bloom a zap apple.
>She happily takes a bite.
>"Ah sure love these!"
>You try yours.
>You're not a fan of apples, but these are pretty good.
>It turns out they even have a magical aftertaste, quite literally.
>The fizzling remains on your tongue are a unique experience.
>Bloom has spread herself on the grass, closed her eyes, and is enjoying the golden rays from the sky.
>You follow suit, the back of your head resting in the palms of your hands.
>Laying in the green blades, all you hear is the filly's breathing and a bird a few trees away.
>A little ladybug flies over your head, landing on Apple Bloom's bow.
>It marches on toward her ears, it's light frame leaving not the slightest print.
>"Uh, my ear's suddenly all itchy, must be some bug crawlin' round."
>She brings up her hoof and starts scratching.
>The ladybug flies off, but the filly does not relent.
>Must be hard, having no fingers.
"Apple Bloom, do you need a hand?"
>"That'd be great, I can't quite reach the spot."
>You move over to her and place your fingers gently on her ear.
>"A little more to the back, Anon."
>You comply and slightly intensify the scratching.
>"Ah, that's nice."
>You scratch her ear a little more, then move onto the other one.
>You go for a gentler touch this time, more akin to rubbing than scratching.
>"Ah like this ear scratchin' thing, Anon."
>You turn to face her, and she follows not long after.
>The two of you lie there, entranced by the sight of each other.
>Warm smiles, loving gazes, gentle ear rubs, a serene countryside, and not a soul around to disturb you two.
>What more could a human or pony ask for in this land?
>Bloom scoots closer to you, returning to a supine position. You wrap an arm around her, gently rubbing her belly.
>She giggles at first, but that soon transitions back to the kind smile of before.
>You caress nearly every inch of her body, moving up her abdomen to her forehooves, then back down to her hips and hind legs.
>On the return trip, you merely brush her inner thighs as a tease. Now is not the time for higher degrees of intimacy.
>Time passes without a word as you rub her ears once more, before returning to belly rubs.
>AB gazes to the scenery ahead and then returns to making eye contact with you.
>"Ah love ya, Anon."
"I love you too, Apple Bloom."
>You brush her mane away and plant a kiss on her forehead.
>She blushes.
>You go for a firmer grip kiss her again, this time on the lips.
>The taste of zap apple juice still lingers with her, making the kiss extra sweet.
>After retreating your face, the filly rolls on top of you, her head now resting on your chest.
>"Let's leave the strollin' fer another day, what do ya say?"
"Mhmm, that's a fine plan."
>The two of you remain stacked under the smiling sun.
>Your fingers trace little curves through her coat, while the air from her nostrils tickles your chin.
>You're starting to doze off a bit when you hear the filly speak up.
>"This must sound silly, but Ah'm suddenly thirstin' for some tea."
>She giggles.
>You laugh.
>Apple Bloom truly is the best filly in all of Equestria.