Title:           Wizard Anon in Equestria pt. 6
Author:          Mistah_Kurtz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/TxDHnGVU
First Edit:      Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 07:46:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 07:46:18 PM CDT

You are Anonymous, and will this hallway ever end? Seriously, you thought that Canterlot Castle defied physics from the outside, suspended so perilously from the mountainside. But now you were almost convinced you'd been trapped in some Sisyphean corridor, never to reach your destination.
 
The chariot ride to Canterlot had been... bumpy. You never liked flight magic. It was too ostentatious, so much o wasted power for such an unnecessary effect. At least, that was the line you always gave. To tell the truth, you just really hated heights. Racing far above the colorful Equestrian landscape in a flimsy, overdecorated chariot pulled by four miniature winged horses was obviously not your idea of a good time.
 
To your credit, at least, you didn't throw up. And in your efforts to keep your mind off of the great distance between you and solid ground, you'd also gotten a briefing on Equestrian royalty from Twilight. It seemed this Princess Celestia had ruled her kingdom unopposed for millenia, and had only recently welcomed her sister back into rulership. From Twilight's description, the two sounded like gods, on par with Titania and Mab. That was something of a chilling thought. If Celestia had it out for you, the best thing to do was run, as fast and as far as you could. And here you were, doing just the opposite.
 
A fanfare shakes you from your thoughts. You'd reached the throne room at last. Your pegasus guide opens a set of enormous double doors. To the ponies beside you, they must seem titanic. The room beyond the portal sparkles with a hundred hues of multicolored light. It's built more like a cathedral than a throneroom, with towering stained-glass windows lining the walls between alabaster columns. The beautiful mosaics depict dozens of unfamiliar scenes. It's breathtaking, really; the greatest temple to the White God in Rome pales in comparison.
 
At the far end, under the most magnificent fenestra of them all, sits a large dais, and it's immediately clear to you that this entire structure was built to venerate the majestic white pony that rests upon it. Her long mane captures a muted pastel rainbow, and it waves continuously as though blown by an unseen wind; you didn't need the golden crown or jeweled torque to tell you that she was royalty. In your many days, you'd gazed upon the Summer Queen attending to Her court, watched the nymphs flit from tree to tree in cheerful play, listened to a choir of angels sing praise to their Highest Lord, and danced with a succubus hellion intent on snatching up your soul... and still, this Princess Celestia had to be one of the most beautiful sights you'd ever seen.
 
Stay cool, Anon. Just stay cool. You put one foot in front of the other, advancing with the other ponies through the splendid temple-hall. Remember, Anon, this being might want your head on a plate. Sure, she was pretty -and by the Hells, she was PRETTY- but Queen Mab was pretty, and she was damn deadly. Lords, Aria was beautiful beyond belief, and she sold you out right quick! Your chest tightens at the thought. Dammit, Aria, we could have-
 
"My little ponies," Celestia begins, her voice warm and maternal, but ringing with authority. You know that tone well. "You have my thanks for bringing our... visitor here." You can see the other ponies bow, Applejack even removing her cowboy hat in a familiar gesture of courtesy. You fall to one knee, lowering your head in supplication. This wasn't your first time before supernatural royalty.
 
"Please, as you were," the princess says, and you follow the other ponies in rising to your feet. Celestia's tone really did remind you of the faerie queens. "I apologize for calling you here on such short notice. I do hope your journey was pleasant, at least." The ponies all answer in the affirmative; Pinkie Pie begins to excitedly list all the things she'd seen during the chariot ride as Celestia smiles and nods, keeping her pink eyes on you. The thrumming aura of magic about her is palpable; she must be very, very powerful.
 
Suddenly, you feel a tingling sensation in the back of your head. Your internal wards raise reflexively. Mental intrusion! Several of the charms you wear about your neck begin to radiate an intense heat as your psychic barriers slam shut.
 
You look up at Celestia, whose eyes have narrowed almost-imperceptibly. "My little ponies," she interrupts Pinkie's enthusiastic tirade. "You'll have to excuse me, but Mr. Anonymous and I have... something important to discuss. Please wait outside a moment." Wearing confused expressions, the ponies filter out of the cathedral-like audience chamber. "Guards," Celestia says to the two armored unicorns standing at attention beside the doors, "you are excused as well." Here it comes.
 
When the room is empty except for you and the alicorn princess, Celestia turns her attention back to you. "So it seems you have much to hide, Mister Anonymous." Her tone is even and confident, with little of the maternal warmth you'd heard before.
 
" 'Thou shalt not invade the mind of another'," you respond, quoting from the Seven Laws. Having broken one yourself, it seemed a tad hypocritical, but there were extraordinary circumstances! "Where I come from, forcing yourself into another's mind is considered a mortal offense. And besides, Your Majesty, if you wish to know something about me, you've only to ask."
 
Celestia maintains her impassive expression. "We are not in your world, Anonymous." She had you there. "Perhaps I should have warned you before looking into your heart, but-" Her face hardens once again. "-as ruler of Equestria, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of my subjects."
 
"So you mindrape every visitor, Your Majesty?" you ask dryly. It's probably -no, definitely- a bad idea to provoke such a powerful being in her own palace, but by the Hells you are angry. Furious, even. This magic horse had tried to force her way into your mind!
 
Celestia seems unphased. "Only the very strange and powerful ones." Flattery now? It only makes you more bitter. "And I take care never to plow through the memories of those I examine; I only search their hearts." As though that was supposed to make it somehow excusable! Celestia sighs. "I do not know how you maintain such a strong barrier around your inner self, but I must ask you, as Princess of Equestria, to lower it so that I can read your heart." Her voice is steely now. "You should be aware that I only ask out of courtesy."
 
"Well then, Your Majesty," you begin, well aware that what you are about to do is very, very stupid. "I am afraid that, as courteous as you are, I must refuse your request."
 
Celestia surprises you with a simple nod. "Very well then. If you will not let me read your heart, then for the safety of Equestria, I must send you back whence you came." Wait, she could do that? "It will take just a moment." Her horn begins to glow softly.
 
Images of sword-wielding Wardens flash before your eyes. "W-wait! Princess! I... would ask that you send me to the Faerie instead... or Elysium, or really anywhere but back there."
 
Celestia cocks an eye at you, and the glow surrounding her horn dims. "Even if I were so inclined to grant you a favor-" her tone is awfully cold "-I'm afraid that I could not do as you ask. I have no idea what nor where this faerie land is. The most I can do is reverse the spell that brought you to Equestria. The residual magic is fading fast, but it is not beyond my power." You grimace. That clever, clever bitch. She knows just what you fear the most, even before she runs a sieve through your brain!
 
The White Council took warlocks with your command of magic very seriously: they almost certainly had several divinations up. The moment you appeared back in the city, the Wardens would be on you like dots on dice, and they weren't going to let you get away a second time. So it was either allow this horse princess to root around inside your head, or risk losing it in a Council-approved execution.
 
You sigh defeatedly before reaching for the chain of charms around your neck. "Very well, Your Majesty." Celestia is trying to hide how pleased she is with herself, and failing rather terribly. "Go ahead and do your thing." Removing the charms leaves you feeling naked and exposed. No, worse than naked. Without the protection of your wards, you feel as though you have no skin, like Celestia could root around your insides to her pony heart's content. Clutching the necklace with both hands, you squeeze your eyes shut. "Please, at least be quick."
 
Celestia's mental incursion is surprisingly gentle. You can feel her psychic presence, a colorful, radiant warmth, working its way into your innermost self. Gritting your teeth, you try to distract yourself by focusing on her mind instead: the link allows just a bit of two-way communication. The princess's mind blazes golden and majestic, it's fiery brilliance threatening to overwhelm you. In all your many, many years, you'd only met one other being so luminous. Despite yourself, you can't help but smile.
 
Then, as quickly as it began, you feel the link to Celestia recede, and there you are, standing in a pony cathedral before a pony princess, grinning like an idiot. Your smile immediately fades upon noticing Celestia's grim expression.
 
"Anonymous," she beings, her voice august and determined. "I have looked into your heart, and what I saw there concerns me greatly." Uh oh, this is what you were afraid of. She knows... knows about everything, about Jason, about the Council, about Aria. "Your world is a dark and violent place, filled with many horrors." You're screwed. "Your soul bears the stain of that darkness." You begin looking for the quickest way out of the place. "However, I also see in you a great potential for goodness." Probably best to crash through a wind- wait, what? "You humans are tumultous creatures, you especially, Anonymous. Allowing you to stay in Equestria is a great risk. However, it is a risk that I am willing to take."
 
Celestia's horn lights up and the doors at the far end of the chamber swing open. The pair of guards enter first, followed by the ponies that accompanied you to Canterlot. "My little ponies," Celestia again resumes a formal tone. "I am please to announced that Anonymous will be staying in Equestria until such a time as he is able to return SAFTELY home." The six ponies actually cheer; even Applejack and Fluttershy seem excited. "However, I will allow this on three conditions." Your eyes narrow suspiciously as the princess fixes you in her regal gaze. "First, my dearest student Twilight Sparkle shall be responsible for ensuring the human's... integration into our world."
 
Celestia's expression remains serious as she turns to the purple unicorn. "You are also to keep a close eye on Anonymous. Do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of Equestria." Twilight seems to finally grasp the gravity of the situation, and nods solemnly.
 
"Second," the princess continues, looking back to you. "Anonymous is to share all that he knows of magic with my faithful student." Figures she'd want something for her trouble. "Anonymous, your magic is very different from what is practiced in Equestria. It is my hope that Twilight will learn as much from you as you learn from her."
 
Celestia's demand is understandable. If you were faced with a new form of magic, you'd certainly want to do all that you could to grasp it. And from what you'd seen during your short time in Equestria, pony magic and human magic were very, very different.
 
"As for my third condition..." Celestia pauses. You expected her to save the worst for last, and apparently so did the other ponies. They're all holding their breath. "I ask that Anonymous send me a letter each week explaining what he's learned about the magic of friendship." It's takes everything you've got not to cluth your head and groan.