Title:           The Alien and the Harlot V
Author:          EM9
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/7FPHScc2
First Edit:      Thursday 5th of June 2014 03:52:44 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 5th of June 2014 03:52:44 AM CDT

>This time you wake up first
>The sun blinds you, burning two figurative holes in your eyes letting you know what time it is
>It's sunrise and she's still here
>Warm breath tickles your chest hairs with each exhalation
>You don't want to get up ever again
>She's lying next to you snuggling into your chest
>One hoof under your neck and the other over your side
>You could spend a couple hours like this
>Well technically you just did but you could totally do it again conscious
>Both her eyes are black and her snoot has one of those cute little band-aids on it
>You tried your best to fix her up
>Luckily nothing was broken
>Except for her pride
>But maybe with time you'll fix that too
>You lie there for a while wondering what you can do for her
>Listen to her
>Hold her
>Call her by her name
>Feed her
>Whatever happens you'll do your damned best
>You never realized it before now but pony hearts beat pretty quickly
>It hammers your chest making you feel a wave from every little beat as you both hold each other
>Eventually she stirs awake, blinking until she remembers everything that happened over the past few days
>You realize you're gonna have to get up now
>Oh well
>It was fun while it lasted
>Moving to get out of bed you're pulled back in as she whimpers
>"Don't go, I don't want to get up yet~"
>Everything's turning out better than expected
>She wants to make breakfast again but this time you insist on cooking
>How hard could it be right?
>That's what you think but as you put water in a pan to boil it catches on fire
>You're not sure if that's a part of the cartoon physics or if you're just that bad at cooking
>Then you remember you haven't actually used anything in the kitchen before besides the microwave and the coffee pot
>You highly doubt she wants microwave burritos
>So you end up taking her out to breakfast
>She doesn't even seem to notice that her eyes are bruised
>In fact she's smiling
>So you both eat
>And it was good
>Not the food, that sucked, you can't digest flowers properly
>Just being out with someone, even if that someone is a pony
>And even if that pony was a homeless prostitute
>Ex homeless prostitute you quickly correct yourself
>She thanks him for breakfast
>Then she thanks him for everything
>The food
>The house
>The blanket
>You don't know what to say
>You're welcome doesn't really cut it
"Hey don't worry about it"
>She ponders for a second before replying, her bright blue eyes full of hope and life
>"No really if it wasn't for you I'd still be under the bridge
>She thinks back to all the cold nights and all the assholes
>She thinks back to starving and being covered in filth
>It's all really gone
>Gone like Blockbuster
>Just a memory now
>It can't hurt her anymore
>Her mane is nice and soft now, you can still see the outline of her ribs but you intend on fixing that
>She isn't stuttering as much either
>Soon no one will be able to tell she was out on the streets
>"I wanted to give you something to thank you for everything"
>As you sit watching her both your eyes lock
>She watches intently her face inching closer to yours
>Give you something..?
>Slowly a switch flicks in your mind
>Gets it / doesn't get it
>Gets it | doesn't get it
>Gets it \ doesn't get it
>Oh...?
>Oh...!
>You move in close
>Is it weird to keep your eyes open?
>What are the proper logistics of an inter-species kiss
>Did you brush your teeth before you left?
>Is she gonna whinny when she does it?
>Before you can do anything you feel her tongue slide up your face
>It feels gritty and warm moving Against your cheek
>Is this how ponies kiss? or something else entirely?
>If it is you like it
>You really like it
>It's cute
>She starts again from the bottom
>It feels kinda funny moving against your stubble
>Reaching the top she withdraws her tongue before rubbing her face against yours
>With a content sigh she holds your head with her hooves playing with your hair
>You both stay like this for a second
>"I've never kissed a human before"
>You resist the urge to daw just barely
>How just barely?
>Somewhere between a planck length and a micron
>Today is a good day
>Maybe later you'll show her how "humans" kiss
>It's getting late now
>After breakfast you take her around town
>She avoids eye contact with several stallions
>Presumably ex customers
>You rubbed the back of her neck as you walked along
>They probably wouldn't recognize her anyway
>You watched clouds together
>Bought apples
>Went to the spa
>Got kicked out of the spa
>They have a strict no non ponies policy
>You went and watched a hoof ball game with her after threatening to put a chemical plant next to the spa
>And you'd do it too but you already put one next to Applejack's farm for running you out of town before
>You didn't understand much, it seemed like a mix of quiddich kickball and hockey
>Honestly that probably makes less sense, but if you saw it you'd understand
>As the sun went down you watched it from your roof
>You forgot that the sun is lowered everyday
>One minute it's sunset and the next it's pitch black
>Weird shit
>All in all it was a good day
>like a dream
>Oh god, you don't think?
>You pinch yourself
>And you've never been more excited to feel pain
>Everything is going perfect
>In the next few days she regains her confidence
>With a little help from a human
>But something feels off
>You can't help but feel something's wrong
>Like you're caught in a calm before the storm
>Like you forgot something seemingly insignificant that's gonna come up soon
>Then you realize what's been bothering you
"Glory what happened back in Canterlot?"
>She spit takes without drinking anything drenching you in god knows what
>You've ordered the "a primer on cartoon physics" but it hasn't came yet
>6-8 weeks shipping my ass
>What, are they still writing the damn thing?
>"I, well um, I guess it's best you know"
>She lets out a gulp her face becoming sad for the first time since you've saved her
>"It has to do with the changeling invasion a couple years ago"
>The changeling invasion
>They say about 50 - 60 ponies are still uncounted for
>Ponies are still pretty mad about it
>"My parents were accused of sending information to the enemy"
>She takes a long breath before continuing
>"They went missing after they were accused which is an admission of guilt, nopony's seen them since"
>You're not surprised
>The bug scare they called it
>At that time you were still drinking rum and coke on earth
>"After they disappeared they went after me"
>"And I disappeared too"
>She begins crying You can tell it's getting hard for her to speak
>You hold her as she continues
>"If they found me they'd charge me with treason"
>"A-and if they f-found me here y-youd be next.."
>You felt overwhelmed
>No doubt crossed your mind that she was innocent
>But that didn't stop her from being guilty in the eyes of the law
>She leans into you, sobbing and shaking
>For once you know what to do
>And you do it pretty well
"I wont let anyone take you away"
"Ever"
>She looks up at you expectantly
>Listening to everything you say as it calms her down
"I wont let that happen"
"Because-"
"-Because I love you"
>The rest of the night went well
>You crack open a bottle of wine and drink it together
>So you're an alien living with an alleged spy, ex prostitute
>But hey you're probably the only one that can say that
>You don't care what she used to be
>She'll always just be Glory to you
>Your Glory
>She doesn't seem all that cheery now with everything on the table
>You'll let her sleep it off, take her out someplace special tomorrow
>You both go to sleep lying against each other
>Ponies make the best little spoon
>You didn't dream that night
>Being awake is a dream in itself
>But it's better than a dream
>It's real
>Waking up you roll over hearing a crunch
>Opening your eye holes you see you just crumpled a neatly written note
>With a worried demeanor you begin reading
[Anon, you've showed me so much in the past week. You've showed me that not all monsters are bad and not all ponies are good. It's been a long week for me and I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. You're the nicest customer I've ever had and you are a credit to your species. When you first met me I was afraid for my life. I saw the sharp teeth in your mouth and thought you might eat me. Actually to be honest I was hoping you might. Everyday was painful for me until you came along. When I retreated to my happy place you are what I saw. When I dreamed you were there for me. I'm sorry for doing this but please don't try to stop me. I don't want you to get hurt so I'm turning myself in. I don't want you to have to live in fear of being found out and ran out of Equestria or imprisoned for harboring a traitor. I'm so sorry for everything, I didn't want to hurt you like this. If it's any consolation-]
[-I love you too]
>You look down at the paper
>It's getting hard to breath
>Seeing the tear stains and thought she put into each word
>She's gone again
>You let out the largest no you've ever no'd
>A no that would rival a thousand Darth Vaders
>You don't even bother to put on shoes as you run out the door
>It's raining again
>When you got there It was too late
>She was in custody an hour before you even read the letter
>When you finally reach her cell you realize you have no plan here
>It's not like you can spring her or anything
>You see her and she she breaks down weeping
>They don't let you talk to her for long
>You promise her the best lawyer bits can buy
>With a forced smile on her face she speaks up
>"I knew you wouldn't stay away, but please it's for the best"
>You'll be damned if you just let her be convicted like this
"I-I'll get a whole army o-of lawyers"
>"Anon"
"In matching suits"
"I wont let this happen I promise"
>Why'd she do it?
>So if they found her they'd arrest me too?
>They can't banish me
>And if they did fuck it
>You don't even like this place
"Why?"
>"You already know anon"
>You want to say more but you start crying
>No that's not right
>Anons don't cry
>You ejaculate sadness
>She puts a hoof up to the glass wishing she could reach through and hold you
>Before you know it the date comes and royal guards arrive to take her to the trial
>The court room is just as you imagined it'd be
>Taking in what little sights there are to take.you sit down
>You don't know how this'll turn out
>No lawyer would touch this case no matter how much you offered
>You don't blame them
>Taking this case would be like getting a back-rub from a leper
>So you stayed up every night studying equestrian law
>This case was serious
>Every case you've seen of this "bug scare" had two conclusions
>Either they walk free or are banished forever
>In most cases ponies walked free but Glory had the unfortunate luck to of run away
>This is what they'd normally call an open and shut case
>And they were right
>Maybe you should start building a case for insanity
>Glory is brought in sitting next to you and your non existent army
>"No lawyer would touch the case huh?"
>Shame is all you can feel as you sit with your head down
>"It's okay Anon I'm prepared for this.."
"Yeah.."
"So I'm defending you instead"
>Surprised she tries to convince you not to
>But she wasn't about to tell you no
>Not today
>Eventually she stops and just accepts that you wont let her go that easy
>The prosecutor walks in, briefcase floating at her side
>Wait
>Oh shit not her
>A familiar scale cutiemark adorns her flank as she takes a seat at the table across from you
>Why did it have to be her?
>"What is something wrong?"
>Yeah
"Uh Glory"
"A year ago during estrus..."
>"Her?"
"Yeah she hates me, she has it out for me"
>The prosecutor looks over to you before realizing you're the one defending the defendant
>She gets a smile ear to ear at the prospect of ripping you a new one after the embarrassment of being pounded by a "monkey" as she put it
>Before long the judge walks in and sits down
>No all rise or any other pretentious bullshit
>All that's heard is the banging of the gavel as the case begins
>"Morning Glory vs state"
>You always had a feeling it'd be you and her against the world
>Just not literally
>The case moved quickly
>The prosecution brings up the victims and the property damage
>The missing ponies
>Then the fact that Morning Glory disappeared when a warrant went out for her arrest
>You want to argue that there was no evidence Morning Glory knew there was a warrant out but then you remember she turned herself in
>You're pretty screwed here
>There's no surprise witnesses or last minute evidence you can use to save her
>Fuck the prosecutor
>She's a bitch
>And you know for a fact she takes it up the ass
>You try to defend Glory as best as you can
>The fact that her parents were never convicted for treason
>The lack of a criminal record
>The lack of actual evidence
>But the prosecution hammers every defense with fancy bullshit words
>She seems to be enjoying this way to much
>Bitch
>Glory stays silent through much of the case answering questions when asked
>But ultimately she knows which way this case is headed
>Fuck
>This case is almost over
>The prosecution has you over the barrel with the whole admission of guilt bullshit
>You didn't know what to say
>There wasn't anything you can do at the moment
>No fuck that
>Fuck everything
>Your story is going to be a happy one
>Fuck the judge
>Fuck the prosecutor again
>And fuck this whole bullshit court system
>Channeling your inner Phoenix Wright you're prepared to kick some ass with words
"OBJECTION"
>You don't really have an objection at first but your mind picks up the rest as you go along
>Your brain gives you a triple thumbs up
>You'll question that later
"You claim Glory is guilty of being a spy for the changelings?"
>The prosecution stares at you wide eyed trying to find out what you're doing
>Good luck with that I don't completely know yet
>"I think that much is obvious at this point"
>Okay
"And you claim that running away is an admission of her guilt to the alleged crime?"
>"Yes if you actually ever been to law school you would know that"
>The court room laughs at her insult
>Bitch
>You think you have her right where you want her
>But you're not completely sure
>You'll have to wait for their reactions to know for sure
"Under Equestrian law 5783 of the ruling of case Meadow Runner v Appleoosa adolescents can't be tried for any crimes until the parents of the accused are notified"
>The court room quiets down and your foe sits up straight
>They all know some serious legal shit is about to go down
>"Objection"
>"Your honor Morning Glory is just as old as anyone else here I don't see what-"
"HOLD IT!"
>Your arm swings pointing at her effectively shutting her up
"Will the judge please define adolescent to the court?"
>The judge stares at you for a second before ushering the bailiff to retrieve a legal dictionary
>Flipping to the correct page she begins reading
>"Adolescent, anypony whose adulthood has yet to be reach as so evidenced by a cutiemark"
>Jackpot
>The courtroom lets out a collective gasp seeing that the defendant meets the defined requirement
"And has Morning Glory's parents been notified?"
>Feeling the prosecution squirming you know your doing something right
>"Your honor under Equestrian law 395 if the parents of an adolescent are dead, custody falls to the state until adoptive parents are found-"
>"-in which case there's no need to notify anypony"
>Nervous at your sudden aggressive legal tactics your enemy is sweating bullets
>Time to rebuttal
"The parents of the accused are missing, simply put they cannot be confirmed dead or alive"
"By law this trial cannot proceed until someone adopts Morning Glory and if I'm correct under the aforementioned law custody cannot be taken from the parents except through a court proceeding which would require the parents to be present or by the parents signing the necessary documents"
>Boom goes the dynamite
>Jaws were dropped
>Glorys included
>The prosecution had nothing to say in response
>Regaining composure the judge responds
>"H-He's right"
>Smiling at everything that just happened you breath your first relaxed breath in a while
>"Seeing as we're unable to proceed I'm forced to throw this case out"
>The gavel comes down
>It repeats several times in your head
>You did it
>Game over
>She can't be retried until her parents are confirmed dead or show up
>With the case thrown out they can't do anything
>If she ever gets her cutiemark she'd be protected by the fact she was an adolescent at the time
>Asses were kicked
>Glory looks to you surprised all the worry gone from her eyes
>Wiping tears away she wraps her hooves around you and holds you tight
>Now what?
>Time to celebrate you suppose
"Hey Glory wanna learn how humans kiss?"
----------------------------------------------------------
 
>A whole week passes
>Ponies all refer to what happened as the case of the decade
>Probably because it's the first loop-holed court case you've heard of in your history here
>Or because an alien defending a pony and yelling objection in court
>Take your pick
>You don't care about that
>You're just glad you didn't lose her
>Also You bought the land near the prosecutors office and you're putting in a high rise with two globes at the bottom
>Everyday she'll remember you fucked her both literally and figuratively
>You specifically told your workers to take their time and use whatever loud tools they need
>All in all everything turned out fine
>Except for that pony Glory kicked
>His nose was broken and his wife left him
>They say he gives hoofjobs in the alley now
>Flim and Flam are still fillyphiles in Tartarus
>Your "Cartoon physics a primer" book got lost in the mail
>But that's okay some things are better left unknown
>Pinkie pie still isn't part of this story
>And as for you and Glory?
>Well
>Everything's going great
>You bought the bridge Glory used to live under and you burnt it down
>Smiling you both watched it go up hand in hoof
>She learned how to kiss like the humans do
>And she's good at it
>She says it's kind of like eating each other
>But sensually
>She's a great cook
>And homemaker
>And traveling companion
>And little spoon
>And eventually waifu
>The wedding night was fun as was the honeymoon
>Glory and you have lots of weird tender inter species sex
>Rope is involved
>You couldn't be happier
>Sure as time goes on you'll probably have bad days too
>But no matter what happens you'll always regard this as the best investment you've ever made
END STORY
 
 
 
 
 
 
Bonus round
>You lie next to your newlywed little spoon in the afterglow of an orgasm
>You both decided to go to the crystal empire for the honeymoon
>Money well spent
>If you knew everyday would be like this you'd move here
>If only
>As the sun rises you both know it's time to get up
>You don't mind
>You know there will be a "second helping" after breakfast
>Glory slides out first going into the bathroom
>You want to stay in bed for a few more minutes but you hear a crash in the bathroom
>Getting up you run in ready to kick ass
>You see Glory panicking and with that you freak out too
"What?, What's wrong!?"
>"M-My c-cutie mark"
>Surely enough there it was
>A ring and a rattle
>She's crying tears of joy
>"I've never realized until recently all I've ever wanted to be is a good wife"
>You give her a tight hug, ejaculating happiness out your eye-holes
"You're the best wife ever"
>Taking a good look at the "cutie mark" again something doesn't seem quite right
"I get the ring-"
"-but what's with the rattle?"
>She looks to you with a smile from ear to ear
>"Anon I'm gonna be a mother"