Title:           Life in Equestria: Chapter 3
Author:          Cyanblast
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/YictfBP0
First Edit:      Thursday 16th of August 2012 03:29:03 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 16th of August 2012 03:29:03 AM CDT

        We had been flying to Ponyville in the Royal Chariot for the past two hours or so, just relaxing in our seats. I had been slowly drifting off to sleep when Princess Celestia spoke up.
 
"I was wondering," She started to ask. I sat up and Mous turned his attention back in our direction.
 
"How are the both of you still calm after learning that you have to start your life over in a new place,probably a new dimension too, that you know nothing about? Plus the fact that you are the only members of your species on this planet."
 
Mous and I glance at each other and shrug. I start talking.
 
"We were always pretty good at keeping our cool, from what I remember, and nothing about this place seems bad. I remember some of the basics from my world, and it's full of anger and fighting, but not here. Here, it just seems nice and accepting. I think we are probably better off here than Earth, our planet."
 
Mous was quiet for a second then pointed at me and said,
 
"What he said."
 
How original.
 
Celestia seemed to think for a minute, then answered in a serious tone,
 
"From what I just saw from your memories, I think you are better off here."
 
"You read my memories?"
 
"No, I watched them like an episode of a TV show called 'Anon's Life'. It needed better actors."
 
She said that last one with a smile. Good to know she would accept us here.
 
Just then, A wisp of green flame appeared, swirled around a bit then popped like a bubble. When I saw it pop, a scroll appeared. Celestia levitated the scroll open and read it, all the while another smile forming.
 
When she finished, she gave a little chuckle and gave it to me and told me to read it. Luckily, their writing is the same as ours, so it wasn't a problem. The letter said,
 
        'Dear Princess Celestia,
Thank you for warning me that you are coming to Ponyville, but I don't know if I can get the whole town prepared for your visit in time. I'm sorry you won't get the diamond carpet this time. We do have a diamond sculpture of you instead, or if you want, I can make you a diamond tea set. Please let me know how I can make this up to you. As for the new residents, they must be pretty important for you to escort them to Ponyville yourself. Are you sure they can live in a town like this without all the Canterlot luxuries?
                                                                Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
 
 
"Is she like this every time you visit?" I ask.
 
"Sadly, yes. She fusses over everything when I come to Ponyville."
 
"...Is there a carpet actually made of diamonds?"
 
"Yes. I'm not sure how she got so many, and if I ask her, I'll get a two hour lecture on the subject."
 
"Huh. What did you tell her about us?"
 
"Nothing. I want it to be a surprise. I even had her keep the fact that anyone else is going to live there a secret. I want to see how they react to you two."
 
"Cool."
 
One of the guards flying the chariot spoke up then. "Ponyville in sight. ETA: Ten minutes."
 
"Thank you" Celestia said as she turned forward to face the town.
 
I took that time to get a good look at Ponyville too, so I switched seats until I was in the front of the chariot, right next to Princess Celestia.
 
The town looked bigger than I thought it would be, but still cozy. The market in the center of town was pretty busy, and as soon as they saw the chariot, the stands were down and gone within seconds. What replaced them were a few large tables, covered in food, mostly desserts.
 
Celestia turned around and quietly said to us, "They haven't noticed you yet, keep your head low."
 
I turned to make sure Mous heard, but it seems that in the five minutes we looked away from him, he fell asleep on the floor.
 
"Well I guess that's covered then."
 
I lay down on the seat and keep my knees down like Celestia said. After about two more minutes, I could feel the chariot touch down and come to a stop. Celestia turned back and told me we could sit up now. So I kicked Mous awake. It was fun.
 
"Wha- Where?"
 
"We're here. You know, Ponyville?"
 
"Oh, yeah."
 
He sits up and gets on to the seat across from me. I turn back to ask Celestia what to do now, but she had already gotten out of the chariot.
 
"Follow me" She said as she walked away.
 
We walked into town, getting weird looks from the townsfolk, but after a second, most of them were nice enough to just go back to what they were doing. I thought one of the ponies was staring, but when I looked to see, it was just a lazy eye. It looked familiar.
 
A violet pony walked up to the Princess and did a sort of pony bow/kneel thing.
 
"Hello Princess Celest-uhh, what are those?" She pointed at us.
 
"Twilight," She addressed the small violet pony. "These are the new residents I told you about."
 
Twilight seemed surprised. "These? ....Okay, if you say so."
 
"What's wrong with us? Are we not as sophisticated as you believed us to be?" I asked, trying to sound as posh as I could. I think I even got a hint of entitled royalty into that voice.
 
Twilight got very flustered right then. "I-I-uh just umm I'm surprised and-" I cut her off
 
"I'm just kidding, just don't judge us yet. In a few days, sure."
 
She laughed nervously and sighed. "I'm sorry, but what are you?"
 
We spent the next few minutes waiting for Twilight's friends and telling her about us.
 
"And that's what Earth is like."
 
"Thank you, umm"
 
"Mous. My name is Mous. That's Anon." He points to me. I give a friendly smile.
 
Just then a bluish/cyan colored pony with a rainbow colored mane and tail flew up to us and looked like she was about to talk, but when she saw us, her mouth just fell open.
 
"Hey Twilight, what are those things?" She asked with a nervous but very curious tone.
 
When she wasn't looking, I mouthed to Twilight, "What's her name?" as I pointed at the pegasus.
 
The piece of paper I had from Twilight's earlier letter was magically written on to show the words "Rainbow Dash"
 
So I stowed the paper away in my back pocket and called out in the most polite tone I had,
 
"Hello, Rainbow, how are you today? I'm a creature called a human and my name is Anon."
 
"...You talk?" She asks, surprised.
 
"Yes, yes I do. I'm going to be living in Ponyville from now on. Are you bothered by that?"
 
"N-No, it actually sounds pretty cool, having a different species of friend that we've never seen before."
 
"Really? Thanks. Now, let's wait for the rest of your friends so we can go through the whole story."
 
About five minutes later, all of Twilight's small group of friends were there, and Mous and I went through the whole story again.
 
"and now we're here with you, right now." Mous finished.
 
He could always talk for longer than I could. I was never a chatterbox, but then again, neither was he. He was just better at talking for longer. But I was still better at talking my way into and out of things.
 
Pinkie Pie disappeared as soon as the story was over, and so we quietly started our watches.
 
"My, what an interesting story." Said Rarity, "But is it true that you have yet to eat since you arrived?"
 
I look down at my stomach, and as if on cue, it rumbles loud enough for everyone to hear.
 
"I think you have your answer." Mous said with a smile.
 
                                                XXXXXXXX
 
Year 15 in Equestria...wait what? No, Hour 15 in Equestria. That's better. Now, where were we?
 
It was about 8:00 pm and it was starting to get a little darker. Five minutes ago you agreed to go get food at Sugarcube Corner. You were just arriving now and-
 
"Aaaugh!" Mous says as he tries to open the door.
 
It seems a pink blur tackled him.
 
"*GASP* YOU'RE HERE!!! IwaswaitingforsolongbutIguessitwasn'treallythatlongbutIwashopingyouwouldcomehere
andifyoudidn'tIwasgonnahaveto-"
 
"PINKIE! Slow. Down. No, just stop." Twilight did not look surprised.
 
She looked like she had dealt with this before. But she didn't look angry or anything. If anything, this was amusing.
 
Pinkie sat down on Mous' chest and she drooped her head a little lower.
 
"Sorry, I guess I got A little carried away..."
 
"It's fine, but could you please refrain from sitting on me? 'd like to get up if that's okay."
 
Pinkie bounced off Mous and over to me. She got right behind me and started to push me through the doors.
 
"Come on! Let's go! Inside!"
 
Mous and I noted that it was pitch black, so we pulled out our watches, saw they only had about five minutes on them, and stopped them. Then, I pulled away from Pinkie and walked inside of my own accord.
 
"SURPRISE!!!"
 
Looks like most of the town is here. But wait, hold on it's a party for me. A party...for me... WOOOOOO! A PARTY FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
I share a quick 'This is what I'm talking about!' moment with Mous via high-fiving, then we go our separate ways in the party. He heads toward the food table while I look around to get the feel of the party. I look over and see a white unicorn with cool striped blue hair (Author's note: IT'S STRIPED. LOOK IT UP.) and purple goggle/glasses at some turntables. She was levitating a few vinyl records above them and I thought 'This is about to get really loud isn't it?'. I was right, and I wasn't complaining.
 
These ponies had DUBSTEP. Wait, hold on. I get closer and I see the sleeve for the record. It was all white except for the words and the musical note covering the back, and it said:
 
'Homemade beats: Party Level 1'
 
What? I look behind the tables and I see some more labeled 2, 3, and 4. I look even further back and I see an all black one with red and yellow warnings on it that I ignored. The label said:
 
HOMEMADE BEATS: PARTY LEVEL 5. DO NOT USE. DANGER.
 
Well then. I guess that settles that. I go sit at table and look around. I've forgotten about my hunger, but I'll deal with that later.
 
As it turns out, Ponystep (As I've taken to calling it) is actually really good. I go to talk to some other ponies in the back, and I end up meeting Derpy, Lyra, and Bon-bon. Derpy, as I have found, is really fun. She has the lazy eye I saw earlier, but I didn't care. I even liked it. It looked cool, and I told her. She said,
 
"Really? Most ponies think I'm stupid because of it."
 
"Do I even look like a pony?"
 
"No, but-"
 
"But nothing. It looks great, and you're not stupid, are you?"
 
"No."
 
"Then I don't see why you should let what other people think get to you that much."
 
"Thank you Anon, I should probably get going home. I have weather duties tomorrow."
 
"Okay, good luck with that! See you later!"
 
She started to fly out of the window, but she missed and hit the wall.
 
"Ow, I think I'll take the front door." She said to me as she left.
 
"How are you liking the party?"
 
Rainbow had landed next to me without me hearing her, which wasn't that hard considering the music.
 
"It's great! Do these happen often?"
 
"Yeah, at least every week, plus whenever Pinkie meets someone new."
 
"Wow, she must really like to party."
 
"If you didn't know, that's her special talent. Partying! She lives to party."
 
"That's a good talent to have. By the way, who's the DJ?"
 
"Her stage name is DJ Pon-3, but it's spelled P-O-N-3 not P-O-N-Y. Her real name is Vinyl Scratch."
 
"Good to know. I'll have to talk to her about the music after the party."
 
Rainbow Dash laughs.
 
"There won't be an 'after the party' until, like, 10 in the morning."
 
"I expected that. You know I should probably eat something before I pass out. I'll probably get a drink too."
 
"Cool, just don't get the shots. I heard Spike, Twilight's assistant, is playing Roofie Roulette. He put roofies in a few of the glasses, and he's seeing who passes out."
 
"I'll be careful. Don't worry about me. But thanks for the warning."
 
"Who says I'm worried about you?"
 
"Whatever, I'll be right back."
 
I get over to the food table and grab a cupcake and stuff it in my mouth, to try to satisfy SOME hunger. I get over to the drinks after filling a few plates. I pour two glasses of punch, one of which I gulp down and refill. Then I look over at the shots, and back at the punch. Shots. Punch. I had asked earlier and they don't have alcohol here, but really sweet drinks seem to get ponies drunk, so there were no chances of underage drinking. For me at least. So, when Rainbow wasn't looking, I poured a shot into each of the glasses. Then another.
 
I am truly a great prank master.
 
I brought the food back to a table near where we were standing and sat down. Rainbow hadn't noticed, so I sneaked up behind her and picked her up and walked to the table. When I put her down, she still looked surprised.
 
"How'd you like that?"
 
I didn't expect an answer. I knew what I was doing. To avoid answering, she drank about half of her punch in a few gulps. I took a pretty big drink out of mine, because if I'm anything, it's fair. I realize I'm still thirsty, so I chug the rest down.
 
"You don't have to answer that."
 
"I wasn't going to."
 
She sounded upset, but behind her hair that drooped in front of her face, I could see her still smiling.
 
I also specifically got the dry crumble cakes. She ate a few, and in the process, finished her drink. I looked up and they stopped the music to make an announcement.
 
"Don't drink the shots! Every single one of them is drugged! That is all."
 
As the music started up again, Rainbow started talking.
 
"I warned you. Good thing you didn't get any shots now huh?"
 
"Shit."
 
Rainbow started smiling.
 
"You got one, huh? Well, I'll make sure nopony tries anything with you."
 
"Yeah, well, that won't work."
 
Rainbow gave me an 'are you serious' look. She knew, but asked anyway.
 
"Why?"
 
"I put two shots in each punch."
 
Rainbow did a facehoof and thought for a second.
 
"Okay, we have about three minutes. We have to get somewhere else before that. Wait. Hold on. TWO? REALLY? Well, we're screwed."
 
"Why?"
 
"We have about one minute."
 
"Oops."
 
"Yeah, oops."
 
"Well, might as well go out with a bang" I say as I stand up.
 
"What are you doing?"
 
"Hopefully something fun."
 
I lean in, kiss her on the cheek, and start sprinting to the front of the room. I vault up onto the stage, turn the music down, and grab the mic.
 
"I ACCIDENTALLY TOOK TWO SHOTS! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS!"
 
I get a running start off the stage, and I jump, hit and push off the wall, grab the chandelier, and swing around. As I swung, I had seen Rainbow Dash still sitting there, staring at me. I let go, and land in the giant cake. I had gotten dizzy as soon as I swung off the chandelier.
 
I passed out after a few seconds in the cake.