Title:           AlaskanAnon in equestria ch. 15.5
Author:          CuriousAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/vJUZdvgH
First Edit:      Sunday 17th of March 2013 07:48:30 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 17th of March 2013 07:48:30 PM CDT

>Hmmmm
>something's gone
>something's... missing
>What is it?
>Something to do with noise...
>Oh yeah!
>They all stopped talking
>You perk up and become more attentive to your surroundings
>They all seem to be looking at you
>Although a few are also looking at Celestia, who speaks
 
 
>"Anonymous, is it true you hail from a region that experiences weather like this on a regular basis?"
You could say that
>She regards you for a moment
>"I understand it is... quite a bit to ask, but would you have any solutions to our problem?"
Weeeellll
>You scratch the back of your head
I *might* be just the man for the job.
>You let that sink in, and take a moment to rub your eyes
>In this room right now, you could hear a pin drop
>Actually, you do
>or more accurately, the cup blond fellow was holding in his magic
It depends on ow advanced your materials are, and what sort of latent industrial capacity is open...
>Half the room looks at you cross eyed.
>Fucking glorious start.
 
 
The... eh... Human system for travel in deep snow revolves mainly around snowmobiles and, to a lesser extent, dogsleds
>The overtired p0nies digest your words for a moment
>Twilight's eyes begin to sparkle
>Then the questions begin
>"What's a snowmobile?"
>"What's a sled?"
>"How do you get diamond dogs to pull it?"
>"What's it made of?"
>"What are the production costs?"
>"How many fillies have died because of it?"
>You hold your hands up, eventually bringing silence
Wait...  You guys don't have sleds?
>the resounding "NO!" almost makes you jump
>The p0ny next to you looks up
>"What's a sled?"
A sled is a platform that sits on two to five wide skis, enabling it to ride up over the snow.  It's usually pulled by either a snowmobile, or a team of sled dogs.  I have no idea what the fuck "Diamond Dogs" are.
 
 
>The riot of questions begins anew, its hunger touched but not sated
>"What's a ski?"
>"How hard are they to manufacture?"
>"How do we know you're not lying to us for a Royal Contract?"
>You consider, for a moment
>No point in wasting ammunition
>You're about to pound on the table, but the midnight blue goddess across the table beats you to it
>Except instead of pounding on the table, she opens up with that supershout that you remember so well
>"WE WILL HAVE ORDER!"
>The blast of wind and sound blows a large swath of papers and other detritus off the table and at yourself and the rest of the unfortunate p0nies sitting opposite of the princess
>Several of them are sent tumbling backwards by the outburst
>You, however, are massive enough to remain in place, and cover your face with your arm against the oncoming storm of scribbles and half eaten muffins
>When Luna has finished her shout, you calmly lower your arm, re-adjust your glasses, and pat your blasted back hair back down
Thanks Luna.  
>She looks mortified
 
 
>Rising from your seat, you make your way to a convenient easel that is miraculously still standing, tearing the much scribbled upon top page off and revealing a fresh one
Let me give you a diagram.
>A pencil serves as your conduit as you explain
A sled is sort of like a wagon, except instead of wheels it's got two smoothed out runners on either side of it that allow it to ride on top of the snow instead of pushing through it.
>You pause for a moment to finish your sketch and let them absorb the information, but not too long, as you have more explaining to do and you don't need another torrent of questions
These sleds are usually pulled by teams of sled dogs, or snowmobiles.  I'm guessing you don't have either of those, but I figure you can just have the fellas that pull the wagons pull sleds instead.
>The storm of questions begins once more, ranging  from the cost of production of sleds to why the committee is even considering an idea from an overgrown monkey
>The last one coming from the blond prick across the table
>It takes the intervention of Princess Celestia herself to get them to shut up
 
 
>Once they all quiet down, she speaks
>"I believe I speak for all present when I say that the committee is in need of a break."
>A wave of tired nodding goes around the table
>"Very well.  We shall break for the day, and continue deliberations when those involved are sufficiently refreshed."
>The sound of scraping chairs fills the room as the p0nies rise and begin ambling out the door
>The Princess motions for yourself, the Elements, and the pony sitting next to you, a solidly built grey unicorn with a charcoal black mane, to join her
>You rise and make your way around the table while your friends depart
>"Anonymous, I would like to contract you to work with Tamper, the royal engineer, to produce one of these "Sleds" so that the committee might gauge its effectiveness."
>She indicates the unicorn, who nods to you
>"You would, of course, be compensated for your efforts"
>You shrug
>You need a job anyway
>Even if it's this short term
I'd be up for it
>"But it can't!"
 
 
>Your head swivels down.
>It's that blond shit from earlier
>His voice hints at smugness as he gazes up at you
>"It's not a legal citizen of Equestria, therefor it cannot be employed by the Royal Government"
>Whoever he is, he's certainly getting a dirty look from Rarity
>"I am aware of that, Blueblood.  Anonymous, do you wish to become a citizen of Equestria?"
>The question takes you off your guard
>But then, if you're gonna be here for a long time...
I... Well... Sure, I'll do it
>"Very well.  The ceremony shall be held tomorrow, at noon."
>There's a general commotion among the Elements
>Pinkie's eyes dilate
>Rarity appears to be visibly excited as well
Uh... Okay
>"Now that you are a citizen-in-waiting, you may legally be employed by the Equestrian government."
>Blueblood gives a prissy little snort
>What the hell is is problem, anyway?
Alright
 
 
>"C'mon, Anonymous, I want to see what sort of design you have in mind" Prompts Tamper, who motions toward the door
Sure
>You opt to follow him, as the Princess
>"Oh, Anonymous!" calls Twilight, when you reach the door
>You pause
>"You've got an appointment toinght.  Meet me at the room at five?"
Sure
>You haven't the foggiest what s-
>Oh yeah
>The thing
>Yup, probably want to do that
>You pull the massive door closed behind you and allow Tamper to lead you
>He takes you through many twists and turns, and finally to a large, rough wooden door, which opens to his magic
>It's tall enough that you don't have to crouch to get through it
>Inside, you find a mechanic's dream
 
 
>The far wall is covered in massive windows, with an equally massive door to the outside
>Lathes, presses, drills, saws, and other utilities are scattered throughout the room, with a large, open central area centered around said door
>You see tables covered in gears, lumber cut into various sizes and shapes, springs
>Forges are set into the right wall, along with several machines whose function you can only speculate
>In the center area are several wooden wagons in various states of repair
>This...
>You could get used to this.
>The smell of oil, sawdust and... something else pervades your nostrils as the door swings shut behind you
>You turn around
>"Like what ya see?" He asks as he trots past you
Quite the impressive setup, yeah
>You respond as you rotate slowly, taking it all in
>"So, are yeh wanting to get started?"
Sure
>you respond as he makes his way over to a blank drawing board
 
 
>"Think you could give me a schematic to work off of?"
I don't see why I can't just build one, you've got the-  oh, right.  You need plans for the bigwigs to turn into production procedures, doncha
>He frowns a bit at your odd use of terminology, but nods
>"That'd be the idea, yes" he notes, as a pencil levitates up towards you
>You take the pencil, grab a nearby straight edge, and begin to sketch, throwing down values mostly from memory
>Sleds aren't your thing, but then they're not that hard to make either
I'm really surprised you don't have these already
>You note as the pencil describes the dimensions and materials of the sled
>He scratches the back of his head with a hoof
>"What do you mean by that?"
I'd think you'd have developed something along these lines by now, you've definitely got the tech level, and these are some pretty basic principles
>"Oh, that's easy.  We've never needed 'em before"
>You look at him incredulously
You've never had snow deep enough to hinder the wagons before
>"Nope.  The pegausi usually manufacture any of the snow we do get, and they make sure to keep it below acceptable levels"
>Okay, weather manipulation, you can swallow
>Barely
>But weather MANUFACTURE?
You're kidding
 
 
>"Nah.  I mean, sure, we get the occasional rogue cloud, but when that happens the pegausi just herd it off over unoccupied land, or bust it up real nice"
>He pauses for a moment
>"You mean you DON'T control the weather where you come from?"
>You snort
Where I come from, the weather does as it damn well pleases
>"...How would that even work?"
It's more or less random.  We have seasons, and we can predict what's gonna happen a day or two in advance sometimes, but that's about the extent of it.  
I could tell you more about how it works, but it's a buncha sciency stuff that would take way too long to explain.
>You finish the drawing and label it 'Pulltugger mk. 1' for shits and giggles
C'mon, let's get started
>Tamper squints up at the drawing
>"That should be easy enough to knock together"
>You clap your hands together
>"You want to help?"
>You snort
I'll build it myself if you'll let me.
>"Can't have you doing my whole job, that wouldn't be fair"
Heh, you have a point there
>You note
>Tamper makes his way over to a rack of metal square tubing and removes a few lengths
>"Let's get started then"
 
 
>A couple hours later, and the sled is more or less finished
>It has a metal frame and metal runners, with wooden boards providing the load bearing surface
>Hooks protrude from the sides as hard points for cargo securing straps
>And the attached to a pair of rings on the front is a pulling harness
>Oddly enough, the work load was about even
>The drilling, smoothing and some of the wrench work you could handle
>But Tamper got to do a fair bit of the work that you couldn't
>The tools being designed for ponies and not humans
>It's interesting to watc him work, actually
>He does most of the heavy lifting with his hooves, probably to stay in shape
>But all the fine manipulation stuff is done via magic
>And tiny, tiny little wrenches you can't get a grip on
>"Ya certainly know your way around a drill press, Anonymous"
That I do
>You respond as you admire the final product
>"There's only one thing for it now."
You want to test it, don't you
>"Wouldn't be a mechanic if I didn't"
>Right then and there, you decide
>You like this guy
 
 
>He jumps in the harness as you go to open the door to the outside
Testing it yourself?
>"I won't have an accurate comparison otherwise, I've tugged these wagons around in this snow enough to know how much fun it ain't" He replies as he yanks towards the door
>He goes out the door, and gives an appreciative whistle
>You step outside briefly yourself
>it seems the workshop is built against the outer wall of the main building, and you quickly gain your bearings
>Tamper makes two loops out in the snow, before returning to the workshop door
>"She pulls nice empty, fair enough, but now we'll see how well she preforms under load.  Run inside and grab some iron scrap and throw it on, wouldja?"
Sure
>You step back inside the door, and grab a nice sized chunk of melted iron
>Several trips later, and Tamper deems the sled suitably weighted down
>He heads out for another spin, this time going slower
>But the wide runners to their job, and keep the thing riding smoothly on the snow
>He finally canters back to the shop entrance
>"You might just have something here, Anonymous..."
Time tried and proven
 
 
>"You just better hope the committee agrees with me tomorrow"
>you shrug
If they're not idiots, they will.
>He just looks at you.
Which is admittedly asking a lot, but your princess certainly seems to have her head on straight
>You respond as you unload the sled
>When all the scrap is back inside the workshop, Tamper shucks the harness
>You lift the rear end of the sled up and pull it back inside
>Tamper closes the workshop door as you set it down the end of the sled
>There's a moment of silence while you brush snow off your hands and he secures the latch
Say, Tamper
>You ask as you take a seat on the edge of the sled
>"Yeah?"
Think I could get a job in here?
>He considers your question for a moment
>The moment stretches on longer than you'd like
>But then he finally opens his mouth and replies
>"You certainly did a good job on that sled there."
>Then he scratches the back of his head with a hoof
>"I'd have to see exactly how much you know... how well you preform on higher level projects..."
>"But I don't see why you wouldn't be able to work here, eventually"
 
 
>"Provided yer citizenship ceremony goes off without a hitch, of course"
Of course.
>You respond.
>Well, that went better than expected
>Now you have a potential source of income
>A means of contributing to the society which you find yourself in
>"There is a catch, though."
>You stop dead in your tracks
>Tamper scrubs grease off the bottom of one of his hooves while he talks
>"This workshop is a pretty close knit community, there's more to it than just being a good mechanic."
>Oh boy, here it comes
>You've heard this exact talk before
>"Ya seem to have a good head on your neck, but at the same time you're about as odd as they come.  I need to know how you'll get along with the rest of the guys, and how they'll get along with you before I can hire you, ya get me?"
Of course
>You respond
>"And the first step to that is to meet them.  So."
>He dumps the rag on a table and looks up at you
>"Why don't you come have lunch with me and the colts?"
>You rifle through your pockets
>Should have enough bits for whatever kind of joint he has in mind
Sure, I'm up for it
>"Well c'mon then!"  He notes, heading for the door
 
 
>Tamper leads you back through the main building and to the front doors
>Here, you pause, donning your jacket
>And then it's off through the gates
>And into Canterlot Proper
 
 
>Canterlot is a city of wide streets
>Currently clogged with wagons
>And the ponies
>Jesus christ, the ponies
>There are so many of them
>EVERYWHERE
>Rationally, this is a population center, and apparently a capital
>But there's just
>SO
>MANY
>P0NIES
>Your head pans about, having trouble taking them all in
>Then you catch a glimpse of something that's..
>Not a p0ny.
>More black and insectile, you think
>Hard to say, as you saw whatever it was just as it turned a corner out of view
 
 
>Tamper leads you down the icy sidewalks at a brisk pace
>Your bipedal nature and size garner you a number of stares
>But you don't really care
>As far as you know, you're not going anywhere
>They'll have to get used to you at some point
>Your sojourn into the city terminates at a joint by the name of "Bronco's"
>You crouch your way in the door, unzipping your jacket once you're inside
>Sconces set into the wall cast a warm, dull light upon the interior of the building
>The place is primarily made of wood, with wooden floors, chairs, tables, and a wooden bar running down one wall
>Everything stops as you unfold to your full height
>Every eye on the place turns to you, and time stands still for the briefest of moments
>And then a barpony slams a mug down on the bar, and the bustle of a busy noontime restaurant resumes
>Tamper takes a moment to orientate himself, then spots something and motions to you
>"C'mon, this way"
>You have to duck your head to keep from hitting it on the ceiling beams
>He leads you through the restaurant, to a group in the back
>They're seated roughly around a pair of tables shoved together
>One of them, a particularly bulky earth pony, looks up at your approach
>"Oh my goddesses Tamper, what have you brought us this time?" he belts out good naturedly
 
 
>The duo of tables is occupied by a gruff looking bunch
>Mostly unicorns and earth ponies, but oddly there's a pegasus in the mix as well
>"Alright folks" Starts Tamper
>He immediately gets attentive silence from the group
>"This here is Anonymous, ya may have heard of 'im.  he's gonna be joining us for lunch today."
>"Howdy, Anonymous!" Comes the Chorus line from the table
>Tamper pulls out a chair and sits down
>The chatter resumes, so you pull one of the chairs next to him out of the way and plop down
>The brown earth pony sitting across from you looks you up and down skeptically
>"So what the hay are you even supposed to BE?"
>"Yeah!"
>Pipes in a unicorn down the way
>"He looks like a shaved Minotaur!"
>huh
>So Minotaurs are a thing here too
>Anyway, time for a little humor
Well, my mother always called me a son of a bitch, she never quite got why I laughed at her
>This gets a chuckle
My Dad?  He called me a hellion
>A few more nods ripple down the table
But I figure myself to be a human
>"Well, nice ta meetcha, Anonymous.  I'm Lug Nut."
>He responds, holding out a hoof
>Huh, so those are a thing here too
>You take the hoof and give it a solid shake
So, what kind of work do you fellas do, anyway?
>you ask, trying to break the ice
>"Oh, all sorts..."
 
 
>A few minutes of discussion later, and you've learned a lot
>This particular bunch runs the royal workshop
>They take pretty much any and all orders for anything mechanical in nature, mostly wagons this time of year
>They're all very blue collar
>And you can tell you're going to get along fine
>A green unicorn wearing what you guess is the p0ny equivalent of a server's uniform makes her way over, and goes down the line taking orders
>When she finally gets to you, she looks up and gulps
>"What'll you have?"
>Twilight's warning echoes through your head as you consider your options
I'll have the grilled cheese
>She makes a note on her pad
>"A-and would you like soup or fries with that?"
Soup
>Another note
>"And what will you be having to drink?"
Barq's, I think
>She nods to you, and heads back to the kitchen
>"Awwww, I think she likes you!" belts out one of the guys
I think she was afraid I thought SHE was on the menu
>"Hey, with the food this place serves I don't blame you!"
>A hearty round of guffaws goes around the table
 
 
>The drinks arrive in a few minutes, and the food a few minutes after that
>The grilled cheese is tasty, as is the soup it comes with
>Your root beer comes in a steel mug that looks like a tiny beer keg
>You're idly examining it after you're done with your food when the unicorn from earlier opens his mouth
>"Y'know we made those?"
Did you now
>"Yep"
>Tamper perks up
>"Speaking of.  Anonymous here might just be our latest hire"
>"Well, I like him!"
>"yeah, he's a good guy"
>You seem to have made a good impression
>Good enough that the majority of the group seems to have no problem with you working at the shop
>Good, good
>"Of course this means... He has to face the challenge"
>The table goes dead silent
The challenge?
>Tamper just shakes his head, while across from you Lug Nut clears the table of dishes and cups
>"Ya gotta hoof wrestle with Lug Nut, all the new guys have to!" the unicorn from earlier informs you
>"Yeah!"
>"It's tradition"
>You regard the earth pony across the table from you
>He's bigger than most of the ponies you've seen, but also not the biggest
>Why not
 
 
Sure, I'll do it
>You roll your sleeve up and get into a kneeling position
>Years of shoveling, splitting and hauling firewood, and lifting heavy things in your previous occupation have conspired to give you a rather decent set of arms and core muscles
>So you're no slouch, either
>Lug Nut sets his hoof down on the table
>You take it in your hand, having to scoot back in order to bring your longer arm down low enough
>"Go!"
>You push hard, and so does he
>He's definitely not for show
>You both strain and grunt, to no avail
>Neither of you can get the upper hand
>Muscles work and tendons creak as more and more eyes look on to this contest of wills
>You give a sudden heave, causing the table to groan and him to slide a half inch or so backward on the floor
>And in the process giving you two inches of progress
>He grunts once more, sweat beginning to form, and pushes you back up vertical and beyond
>You have to fight hard to bring it back to vertical from your side-
 
 
>And then, with a final shriek of splitting wood, the table gives way under your combined might, sending you and your opponent down to the floor
Oh shit
>You mutter, releasing Lug Nut's hoof and pulling yourself back into a sitting position
>Lug Nut just grins at you
>"I haven't had a challenge like that in a long time!"
>There's a commotion in the back of the restaurant
>You turn your head to see a pair of hooves stomp down the stairs
>First, you see a pair of muscled legs, covered in brown fur
>Then a pair of cloth breeches, with a black belt sporting an enormous belt buckle, with a similarly colored tail sticking out the back
>A furred, triangular torso with a pair of heavily muscled arms hanging off the sides, ending in small hands
>And finally, a massive head that reminds you more of a cow than a horse, complete with a pair of horns, a nose ring and a small, blue mohawk
>You scramble to your feet as he approaches, taking in the destroyed table, Lug Nut across the table rubbing his bicep, and you doing more or less the same
>He comes about up to your neckline, but his horns go almost to the ceiling
>The Minotaur is silent for a moment
>Then he barks out a laugh
>"You finally meet your match, Lug Nut?"
 
 
>Lug Nut looks down at the destroyed table
>"Gee Bronco, I don't know.  Table gave out, it was a tie."
>Oh shit, Bronco
>This must be the owner
Ya want me to pay for it?
>Bronco laughs again
>"Any buck that can give Lug Nut a run for his bits is worth at least a table in my book"
>He says, walking over to slap you on the back
>A pair of p0nies dressed in waiter attire are already clearing the pieces of table away
 
 
>A few minutes of jawing later, and you're back on the street
>Tamper asks you if you need help getting back to the castle, but you wave him off
>The next few hours you devote to both getting a rough layout of the city
>And determining the prices of a few base materials that you're probably going to need in the future
>Working out just how bits spend
>You're about ready to head back to the castle when a striped pole catches your eye
>A swirling red, white and blue striped pole...
>A barber shop!
>Finally, you can buy a a razor
>You're about to head over to it when something white and purple hails you
>"Oh, hello Anonymous darling!  I didn't expect to run into you out here..."
>You look down
>In front of you stands Rarity, clad in a scarf of the same purple as her mane
>And what you guess pass as boots for the p0nies
Hi Rarity
 
 
>"Anonymous, dear, I'd meant to ask you, before that... workp0ny lead you away"
Yeah?
>"Do you have anything to wear to the ceremony?"
Ceremony?
>She looks shocked
>"Your citizenship ceremony tomorrow!"
Oh yeah, that ceremony
>She looks up at you expectantly
Yeah, sure I do.  I've got my clothes
>Rarity gasps
>"Those aren't anywhere near formal enough..."
Look, Rarity... Do I look like a formal sort of person?
>You ask, standing in front of her as you are in your scuffed boots, jeans and well worn jacket
 
 
>"You simply must be presentable for the princesses!"
I'll be fine
>"No, I insist"
>She says
>Then she takes your hand with her magic and begins physically pulling you off through the streets, muttering to herself as she goes
>"First we need materials, oh yes, and then an example... ah, but you've got a picture, haven't you..."
>You give your hand a sharp yank, breaking her magical grip and pulling her back a pace
Look, I have an... appointment, alright?  I don't have time for this
>"B-but-"
Rarity, I have to go
>"Okay..."
>Then she looks up at you with determination
>"But this isn't the end of this!"
>Oh, you're bloody sure of that
I'm sure it ain't
>You say over your shoulder
 
 
>You better get back to the castle
>You actually do have an appointment, just not right now
>Better to give the appearance of it, at least, than to let her catch you in the streets again
>With that in mind, you make your way back to the castle
>Pull off your jacket and other cold weather stuff once you're inside the door
>Then consult your watch
>You still have a fair amount of time to burn before your appointment
>And your rude awakening is catching up to you
>So you make your way up to your room
>Which is mercifully empty
>And lay your weary head down for a nap