Title:           Anon and the Winter Writefaggotry (Frozen greentext)
Author:          BlondeNonny
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/pbRZgh0J
First Edit:      Wednesday 24th of September 2014 06:23:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 27th of October 2014 12:51:19 AM CDT

>Day MY NACHOS in Equestria
>Be Anon
>It's a weird day at the Carousel Boutique.
>Rarity's busy with customers who really like her dresses
>And Sweetie Belle was at school
>And you were stuck twiddling your thumbs due to having nothing else to do.
>It somehow paid decently due to being one of the only humans in Equestria to do it, but it sucked ass.
>And when there was a lull in customers, Rarity was busy spazzing over a couple of 'special guests' that were going to arrive this week.
>She mentioned that they were princesses that hailed from out of the country, and were not accustomed to Equestrian customs.
>Only one request was made, for some pony called "Tesla" or something.
>"Anon, I need your opinion."
>Speaking of which.
"Wuzzat?"
>She held up a very light-blue royal dress.
>"Would this be a good fit for one of our special guest?"
>It looks very well-crafted.
"Looks good to me."
>"Ohhhhhhh, I'm simply horrified. What if she despises the design? What if it's not a good fit? W-what if it's...GASP! not the matching color.."
>You noted her pronounciation of Gasp.
"I'm sure it'll be alright."
>"Y-you're sure, Anon?"
"I'm sure."
>Ring-a-ling motherfucker, answer the doorbell.
>"OH! I'd better get that."
>You get back to twiddling your thumbs.
>Of course this wasn't Saturday.
>"O-OH! My apologies, Princess, I w-wasn't aware you'd be h-here this early."
>AAAAND here we go.
>"It's not a problem, Miss...erm."
>"R-Rarity, Your Highness."
>"Rarity. Hmmm, very well."
>Snobby bi-
>WAIT.
>You recognize that voice.
>"My sister's running a bit behind, sorry about that, but don't worry, Anna will be here shortly."
>And that name.
>Oh shit if this is what you think it is
>You look up towards the voices.
>You saw...the visage of a door.
>Okay, you might have been going crazy there.
>There was no way it could have been anything but coincidence.
>'I could say something crazier, but love IS an open-'
>no shut up brain
>'nah, you're stuck with me, just let it go'
>god dammit brain
>You look back down and twiddle your fingers again.
>And shudder from the cold.
>Even though it was the middle of summer.
>Probably Discord screwing with weather again.
>You need to hang out with him sometime, he's a bro.
>"...anything I can help you with, Your Highness?"
>"Well, you can start by not calling me 'Your Highness'. Not saying it's bad, just that I'm not entirely fond of being called that."
>"Oh. O-O-Of course, my apologies, Princess Elsa."
>"Queen Elsa."
>"Sorry.."
>Okay, no, not coincidence.
>You look up again and start to pay attention.
>"It's fine. Anyway, I came here to see the dress you've been working on."
>"...well, I, uh.."
>"Is something wrong, Miss Rarity?"
>"Nothing's wrong, j-just that this is a rather short notice. I'll g-go and get the dress, and I'll be right back."
>Oh shit, Queen alert. Twiddling needs to stop for the moment.
>You hastily reorganize yourself as Rarity enters the room.
"What's going on?"
>"Wh-why, yes. Can't talk. Royals are here."
>She was channeling her inner Starbutt.
"I heard. Elsa and Anna, was it?"
>She levitated the royal dress meant for the queen and another side-project she wanted to give to the other princess.
>"Y-yes. Okay gotta go bye!"
>She rushes out of the room to deliver the dresses.
>With mild hesitation, you get up and risked taking a peek.
>It was that or twiddling thumbs.
>The latter sucked ass.
>You knew Equestria was a world from some shitty girl's show.
>You were stuck there, and having never watched the show it was still foreign to you.
>But you'd have to have been a hipster on Earth to not have watched fucking Frozen.
>Shit sold tickets like items on the McDollar Menu.
>You were very familiar with Frozen, and, come to think of it, a shitton of Disney films.
>So of course you would recognize Elsa's fucking voice.
>What the fuck was going on?!
>You would sneak towards the door.
>CREEEEEAK
>Good job.
>You close in on the doorcrack to see what was going on.
>Sure enough, Rarity's out there discussing the dress with another pony.
>Upon closer inspection, she has a pale-blue coat with a platinum blond mane.
>She had wings and a horn.
>No shit.
>RING-A-LING MOTHERFUCKER
>"Come in~"
>You haven't found anything out, but someone else made their way to the Boutique.
>Something something door opening
>"Elsa! These ponies are adooooorable. Can we keep them?"
>Yep. Peach coat and red-orange mane? Clearly this is Anna.
>Wings front and center. No horn, apparently.
>"No, Anna."
>"But Elllsa-"
>"Um, I reckon you're a sweet young mare, Princess, but...urk, could ya please put me down now?"
>"Oh. ...sorry."
>She puts down Applejack.
>"Thank you kindly."
>How the hell?
>"My apologies, Miss...erm..?"
>"Applejack."
>"Miss Applejack. Again, I'm terribly sorry, my sister reeaaaally likes cute things."
>"Ah can tell."
>Note to self: have Fluttershy stay indoors.
>"Rarity, I think this dress is pretty...ahem, good."
>"Oh, why, thank you. I-I was working without reference, so-"
>Royals tend to be picky, but thank God Rarity was out of the hotseat for the time being.
>"Not a problem. Also, would you mind telling your apprentice to stop peeking and come out?"
>...because it left a seat vacant just for you.
 
>Okay.
>You internally recited the number one rule of hitchhiking.
>You were the only human in Equestria, outside of Femanon.
>That puts you in cold water.
>You were dealing with a powerful ice sorceress who was the Queen of her Kingdom.
>And you had a decent knowledge of them both even before they got here.
>Acknowledging this info would put you in danger considering the last douchebag who had knowledge of the two.
>"I'll go get him."
>Rarity started heading towards the door, and opened it.
>Keep your spaghetti in. Not a request.
>"Queen Elsa, and Princess Anna of Arendelle, this is Anonymous, who hails from Earth."
"Hey."
>Elsa looked somewhat shaken by this revelation.
>"...Earth?"
"Yeah, it's a place I used to live in before getting sent here by accident."
>"And...you're a human, correct?"
>Okay, so she knew about humans. Twilight probably let her know about it. She doesn't trust me enough.
"One of the only ones here."
>"Humans aren't exactly native to Equestria; we're still trying to figure out how he got here."
>"..."
>The two sisters gave each other a look.
>This was the sign of shock on both their parts.
>Okay, what are you two-
>"Miss Rarity, Anonymous, we- that is to say, me and Anna -wish to speak to you both. Alone."
>OH SHIT
>Getting the private conversation.
>You fucked up somehow.
>Don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic
>"Erm.....y-yes."
>And Rarity's not bailing you out.
>gg no re
>The four of you head to the backroom where you once twiddled thumbs.
>The door shuts, and the queen sighs.
>"Anonymous, I cannot say I know you well."
"Well, uh, I'm not really on the up-take on-"
>"But I do know your kind."
>Uh oh, were they human?
>"Miss Rarity."
>Rarity's fear intensifies.
>"Y-yes, Queen Elsa?
>"I'm not sure if your Princesses have told you, but I'll disclose this with you and Anon. Our kingdom of Arendelle is far beyond the reaches Equestria; it is located on Earth."
>Oh shit, these were the real deal.
>Not some shitty knock-offs from this universe.
>"Wait, w-what? I-"
>"And in Arendelle, we are also human."
>"B-but I- you're- it-"
>"It's...a long story."
>Okay, keep calm.
>This time, Anna spoke up.
>"We're not sure HOW we ended up here, but one day, on a summer night, during an unexpected crisis, we got stranded here in Equestria, as ponies. It was in the middle of a snowstorm, but we tried our best to make our way to a nearby town."
>"We found a place called the Crystal Empire, and Princess Cadence, as she calls herself, brought us in. We told her what was going on, and we decided it would be best not to discuss it until things were sorted out."
>Rarity blinks.
>"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are both aware of this, correct?"
>"They are. And unfortunately, we have to keep our human nature a secret for the time being," Elsa explained. "But now I wish to ask Anonymous."
>Um.
>"When you came from Earth to Equestria, why did you remain human?"
>You stammer.
"W-well, I'm not sure why I remained human, to be honest. I just kind of got swept from my room one day and found myself here."
>"And...you've been accepted in Equestrian society?"
"For the most part, yes. Just don't bring it up with any pony in Canterlot. It's a heated subject."
>"Oh my."
"Yeah, that's an issue not yet resolved."
>As Anna and Elsa talked about their backstory, you mulled on this whole situation.
>Elsa and Anna were the human versions from the actual movie.
>But unlike you, they turned into ponies when travelling from their world to Equestria.
>Until this gets sorted out, you have to contend with a literal Disney Princess and an Ice Pony
>It was cool and all
>But puns aside, you had to keep your knowledge in.
"Okay, Queen Elsa, so my question is: you two already have a place to stay, correct?"
>"We had one; Princess Cadence was generous enough to offer us a room in her Crystal Palace, but I didn't want to overstay my welcome there. So...unfortunately, we have no room or board at the moment."
>"Elsa, I told you we should've stayed, it was fine there."
>"Well excuse me for being noble, sister.."
>Okay, sibling arguments were always fun
>But with a sorceress in play, you wanted to stay out of it.
>Rarity chimed in right there.
>"Well, Queen Elsa, I might be able to ask my friend, Princess Twilight, if she has a room available at Friendship Castle. If not, I might be able to find a room here-"
>"Miss Rarity, I-"
>"Please, just call me Rarity."
>"...Rarity, I appreciate your concern, but I really don't want to burden you."
>"Oh no no no, darling, nopony- er, no BODY -should be left out in the open like this. I'll see what I can do."
>Elsa looked like she was uncertain of Rarity's offer. Anna was willing to accept it, no problem, but Elsa had experience with trust.
>Both were victims of stranger-danger, but had they known they were dealing with the former Element of Generosity, they might've been more willing to accept it.
>Come to think of it, DID they know what the Elements were?
>"...well, alright."
>"Very good, now I'd better get to finding Twilight, pronto!"
>So it was settled. Princess Anna and Queen Elsa were staying in Ponyville.
(DUWABASM)
>For the time being, the four of you would keep knowledge of Anna and Elsa's origins a secret to everyone.
>Except Twilight, of course.
>Which is why you were heading to Friendship Castle.
>Alright, you can keep your spaghetti in a little longer, Anon, don't worry.
>Everything will be just fine.png
>You ring the doorbell
>Ring-a-ling motherfucker it's the zombie apocalypse Twilight let us in
>Twilight opens up the door.
>"Hey, Anon, hey Rarity, and hello...th-the..."
>Elsa nods.
>"Hello. Are you supposedly Princess Twilight of Friendship Castle?"
>You thought you'd never live to see the day Twilight's spaghetti finally spilled.
>But you were too focused on keeping your own in.
>"Y-yes, I am. I-is there anything I can help you with, Princess Elsa?" Twilight stammered.
>"Well, your friend, Rarity, was telling me about your castle, and...how do I say this without, er, sounding too needy, but.."
>Rarity cleared her throat.
>"If it's not too much trouble, Twilight, we'd like to ask if you have any vacant rooms available at the castle."
>You had seen Twilight go crazy before. Not to this extent, though.
>"Well- I- Uh- You see- I mean-"
>Elsa nods.
>Huh, she's at least respectful.
>"I take it that's a no, then? Very well, I'm sorry to have-"
>"NO! No, it's fine! I'm sure I can find some room somewhere. Just let me get set up, you'll have to forgive me, I wasn't expecting house-guests today."
>"No no, Princess Twilight," Anna reassured her, "it's totally fine, I know how busy you must be."
>"Y-yes, sorry, just check back with me a little later, kinda need to- SPIKE!"
>And with that, room and board's currently a closed door.
>Back into the frying pan with you.
>So with Twilight Dorkle out of commission for the next few hours due to cleaning house, you were now stuck with spaghetti to hold in.
>Now what do?
>...have Writeslut writefag on /mlp/, obviously.
>With nothing better to do, you really have to come up with things to do on the fly.
>Your princes
"So...does anyone want to head to Sugarcube Corner?"
>"What's that?"
"Just a local bakery around Ponyville. Has lots of sugary stuff. Cupcakes, chocolate, that sort of-"
>Anna nearly squeed at the sound of it.
>"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! ELSA! WE HAVE TO GO!"
>Well, that was settled.
>"I...well, a bit of chocolate can't hurt."
>You head on over to the gingerbread mansion that was Sugarcube Corner.
>Then, just before you all enter, realization strikes you.
>This was the native foreground of Ponka.
>oh shit oh shit oh shit-
>The door opens..
>And instead of the usual bakery storefront, it's a sort of winter-themed wonderland inside.
>God dammit Ponka, how do you plan these things?
>"INTRODUCING THE GUESTS OF HONOR AT THE FROSTED FUN-DAY FESTIVITY, PRINCESS ANNA AND QUEEN ELSA OF ARENDELLE!" You could hear the pink horse shout.
>Holy shit she was dedicated.
>You would never underestimate Pinkie's dedication to making parties.
>A loud cheering snaps you out of your inner dialogue.
>You can tell, from looks alone, that Elsa and Anna were stunned.
>Of course they would be, having never met or heard of Pinkie.
>You remembered the day you entered Ponyville and Ponk set up a party for you, despite never having met you.
>And let that be the last you mention of it.
>"T-thank you?" Elsa manages.
>"Not a problem, your Majesties!"
>"To be honest," Elsa sighed, "we weren't expecting a full party today."
>"Well, yeah! That's the idea of a surprise party, Elsa!" Anna smiled.
>"Awww yeah! I like your taste~" Pinkie smirked.
>At least Anna and Ponka were getting along well.
>Well, might as well grab some punch and chill.
>...puns aside, you grab a glass of punch.
>You have no idea what they put into it, but it is the best punch you'll ever have.
>...but you soon realize it's cold.
>God dammit, Ponk, you really went all out.
>"HI, ANON!"
>Speaking of which.
>AUGH PINK HORSE
"...hi, Pinkie."
>"Sooo, how's the party?"
"It's pretty co-...pretty neat."
>No, you're not gonna be Mr. Freeze tonight.
"You doing alright?"
>"Yep! Though it was crazy busy trying to coordinate a party scheduled for earlier than planned. I mean, you have an unexpected visit to take into account, plus you gotta get some bare research in to maximize the party-ee's fun, but I'm super-super excited to throw a party for the two new princesses! ..well, princess and queen, hehe.."
"Yeah..the new royals.."
>You have to keep quiet about them. You need to make sure your rep doesn't take a bigger hit.
>"...you don't sound too excited about them."
"What? No, I am, don't get me wrong, just that-"
>"Just that what, now?"
>Oh shit here's Elsa
"Oh..well, uh.."
>Her eyebrows raise in skepticism.
>You need to bullshit your way through this.
"Just that I-I'm not really accustomed to being around royalty."
>"And that explains why Twilight was comfortable with you."
>Bullshit's not passing. Get it together, Anon.
"I mean, me and her are kinda close. She was actually the one who found me when I landed in Equestria. But she's the only exception."
>This time, the eyebrow raising comes from Pank.
>"But what about your time with-"
>NO.
>You nudge her to get her to shut up.
>NEVER bringing that up again.
>"Huh, I see.."
>Her eyebrows don't change position.
>She clearly knows you're bullshitting.
>"Well, I'm glad that you've accustomed to Pony live, Anonymous."
"Thanks.."
>She starts to lean in a bit.
"Uhh.."
>"But there's something off about you that I can't quite place."
>Oh shit
>Bullshit failed
>Then suddenly a chocolate cupcake lands on her head, smothering her platinum mane with the brown, milky stuff.
>"...Anna, did you just throw a cupcake at me?"
>You peer behind the queen, to see Anna holding a stack of chocolate cupcakes.
>"...sorry?" Anna blushes.
>A huge scowl from Elsa is a telltale sign of fury.
>"You know what this means, right?"
>AW SHIT
>HERE WE GO
>The punishment for Anna's crimes against Elsa's mane is...a huge dump of soft snow.
>Which falls upon Anna's mane and body like a bucket of water on your door every Friday.
>"B-br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br....s-so c-cold..."
>And...to be honest you fear for Anna's life.
>"Oh no...Anna, are you okay?"
>Because you knew what happened last time.
>You could already feel it get colder.
>"E-Elsa..."
>AW SHIT
>"No..A-Anna..."
>Anna has a weary smile on her face.
>"Y-you...you have s-something on your f-face.."
>Elsa blinked.
>"What do I have on my-"
>Cupcake boop.
>Points for effort/10
>"Gotcha!"
>Elsa's stunned look is priceless.
>You have to give Anna credit, she knows how to prank.
>"...Anna."
>"Yeah?"
>Elsa sighs.
>"...you're a jerk."
>"I love you too, Sister."
>Aww look they love each other.
>"So, anyway, I gotta say, Pinkie," Anna mumbled as she munched on a cupcake, "these cupcakes are delicious!"
>"Yep! I hoof-crafted the chocolate, baked it, melted it, pretty sure I baked the cupcakes, and frosted them to what I consider a fairy good job!"
>And it was true, she made the best-
>wait did she just make a cupcake pun
>"They're so good, you should really pat-ent them."
>You facepalm.
>fucking puns
>Okay, the party lasted a long time.
>But about two hours later, you collectively decide you're tired of partying.
>So now you head back to Twilight's place.
>You drag behind, because you didn't really want to be in the frying pan.
>And n-not because you w-wanted to look at R-Rarara's butt..b-because that's stupid! B-baka
>As you walk, you start to feel a couple of snowflakes on your head.
>And those 'couple' of snowflakes turn to 'about fifty or so' and into 'why is weather weird all of a sudden?'
>You look up.
>Sure enough, a rain-cloud from Top Cunt, delivered express to Anon
>more emphasis on cloud than rain
>"...aww, what? That was supposed to be rain, not snow!"
>You weren't complaining.
>Snow was awesome during the heat.
>Thank god for Snow Queen in Ponyville
"Hi, Dash."
>"...hey, Anon," Rainbow Dash grumbled.
"You trying to rain on my parade? Because you're doing a terrible job at it."
>"If this stupid cloud would work, I'd do a better job at it."
>kek
"Keep on trying all you want, the snow don't show signs of stopping-"
>And then it starts to rain.
>God dammit.
>"You were saying?" Rainbow sneers, smug at your tempting fate.
>Fucking Top Cunt.