Title:           Celestia on Earth - Chapter 6
Author:          BkCeLesTiA
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/zMLZquXL
First Edit:      Sunday 7th of September 2014 08:43:40 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 7th of September 2014 08:43:40 PM CDT

>"What are you doing, sir?" says the uniformed Park Ranger.
>You had been rolling in the flowers with Celestia, but you didn't think that was the kind of explanation Dudley Do-Right here was going to find acceptable.
>Further, Celestia had disappeared with an audible pop.
>None of the answers that spring to mind strike you as much better.
"I pay your salary, you goddamn bastard."
>No, not this.  This is not the time to act like a rebellious teenager.  Okay.  Be smooth.
"Well, it's just such a beautiful day I couldn't resist.  Haven't you ever felt like rolling in wildflowers?"
>"I can't say that I have, sir.  Where is your horse?"
"What horse?"
>"It's unusual to have a saddle without a horse" says the ranger, pointing to the ground.
"Oh, that horse!  Oh, yeah.  That horse, well, wandered off.  She'll be right back!"
>This is not going well.
>"Sir, are you aware that it is against park regulations to let a horse roam free?"
"She's not unaccompanied.  She's, well, she's -- there she is!"
>Celestia, fully disguised, trotted back into view.
"You're not unaccompanied, are you, Celly?"
>"Neigh."
>"Sir, are you on drugs?"
"No, officer.  Ranger."
>His badge says "Rick Obersdorfer."
"Ranger Rick."
>Ranger Rick looks at you as if you just pissed in his coffee.
>"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to identify yourself."
"My name is Bob.  Bob Ross."
>"Do you have any form of identification?"
"Well, about that."
>Celestia nuzzles one of the saddlebags, looking at you meaningfully.
"Yeah, right over here.  I'm just going to reach into this bag and get it," you said, as the park ranger looks slightly on edge.
>You only find a wrapper from a granola bar inside, but Celestia gestures with her head that you should hand it to the ranger.
"See, right here," you say, sure you are about to be arrested immediately.
>The ranger looks from the wrapper to you, seeming satisfied.
>"You may leave, sir.  Thank you for your cooperation."
 
>With that, the ranger takes his leave, apparently satisfied that you are "Bob Ross" by looking at a granola bar wrapper.
>That was some real "these aren't the droids you're looking for" shit.
"What did you just do?"
>"Just a simple Got-It spell."
"And what's that?"
>"It's the opposite of a Want-It Need-It spell.  Instead of convincing someone they need some specific thing, it convinces them what they have is actually what they want."
"So, how did you know what the right ID looked like so Ranger Rick there was happy with it?"
>"That's the trick.  His mind knew what he wanted to see, and it just made it seem to him like he was seeing it.  A crude parlor trick, really, but easy."
"Isn't that kind of sketchy, you know, ethically?"
>"Yes."  A surprising answer.
>"I wouldn't have wiped his mind, you know, or given him amnesia.  That was the least interference that would satisfy him and get us on our way."
>Celestia was getting her things in order and gestured to put the saddle on.
>"And if he's like our Royal Guard, he'll have to make some kind of report, and that's when he might notice something was odd.  Let's not be here when that happens."
"Sounds good to me.  Just --"
>"Yes?"
"I wasn't out of line back there, you know, before --"
>"No."
>Somehow, this simple answer pleases you more than anything.
>You aren't sure exactly what you did to earn the trust of the Princess, but she does have some kind of freaky Jedi type mind magic.
>Maybe she's actually right about you!
>Or maybe she can trust you because she is already deciding what you do.
>You cast these thoughts aside.
>You smile as you mount Celestia and she begins trotting at a lazy pace, apparently not that worried by the thought of terrestrial law enforcement.
>With any luck, no reports identifying you would make it into any kind of electronic database the creatures hunting you, or their human "friends," can access.
>"I'd never do that to you," says Celestia, as if in response to your thoughts.
 
>You wonder what you would do if Celestia were influencing you somehow.
>More to the point, you wonder what you could do.
>You probably wouldn't want to do anything about it.
>In actuality, you don't want to do anything.
>Would you even be wondering this if you were being unduly influenced?
>Surely, if she were doing that, she'd just make you not even wonder about it.
>Enough of this line of thought, you think.  How do you keep coming back to this?
>Well, in the past few days, you've been attacked by monsters, not once but three times.
>Your car has been destroyed.
>Your house has been burned down.
>And you're running from more monsters.
>Yet, you're surprisingly okay with this.  Your life has basically been wrecked.
>Come to think of it, though, you didn't really have much of a life in the first place.
>What would you be doing today if you weren't here?
>You guess that would depend on whether you got a job.
>If so, probably moving data you didn't care about from an old fixed length field database to another format.
>Dull as dirt, but you're good at it, and it pays well enough when you get it that you don't really care about periods of unemployment.
>If no job, probably insulting people on the Internet.  Masturbating to porn.  Arguing about nothing on the Internet.
>Compared to that, this is an actual purpose.  Saving the world.  Well, a world.  Two worlds, really.
>After all, Celestia being here is not just a danger for her and her world, but for this world, too.
>The thought that troubles you most is not what you are doing now.
>What you are doing now is good.  Actually, it may be the only thing you have ever done that matters in the least.
>What troubles you is, quite simply, once you are done helping set things right, how do you ever go back to that meaningless existence?
>You've lived an entire life without magic, and now you know it's real.
>An entire life without adventure, and now you fight monsters.  And win.
>This is good.
 
>Having put a few miles between you and Ranger Rick, you dismount at Celestia's gesture and walk beside her for a while, as the night deepens.
>Since there would be no problem reaching your destination in time, it makes sense to slow down.
>"It could actually be problematic to get there too early."
"Why is that?"
>"I haven't sensed any pursuit since the last attack."
"Is that bad?"
>"These things don't give up.  So if they're not following us, maybe they're waiting for us."
"You mean they've figured out where we're going?"
>"There aren't many places we could be going.  And aren't many things we could be doing once we get there."
"What exactly is that again?"
>"Punching a hole between the dimensions so I can go through the weak point."
"So you think it's a trap?"
>"That and the thing wants a portal open too, so it can come through."
"I thought it was over on your side."
>"It isn't constrained by things like that.  Unfortunately."
"So what you think is we're walking right into its army."
>"Maybe.  It doesn't make sense they're not chasing."
"At least maybe it means we have a little peace before we get there."
>"Yes, but things may get very ugly once we do."
>You aren't intimidated by this.  After all, it's not like things have exactly been simple up until now.
>They can't burn your house down again, for instance.
>It is a dark and beautiful night, and the moon, seeming extra-large, slowly rises in the east.
>Celestia sighs wistfully at the sight of the moon.
"You miss Luna, don't you?"
>She simply nods.
>"Luna and everything else.  It seems so odd for night and day just to happen."
"Humans find it comforting.  At least I think we do.  I do."
>"Why?"
"We don't depend on anyone to do it.  Nobody can decide not to do it."
>"I suppose that's a point."
"I can't think of anyone I'd trust with something like the Sun."
>You pause.
"Except you.  But we don't have a you.  We trust physical laws not to change."
>"Our physical laws are a bit more fluid."
 
"But people, ponies, well, your subjects, trust you both to do your jobs.  That's an awful lot of trust."
>"It hasn't always been the case."
"What do you mean?"
>"There have been bad times in my world, where Luna's anger and bitterness at me caused her to become intransigent and refuse to lower the Moon."
"What did you do?"
>"I had to banish her.  To the Moon itself."
>You think about this for a bit.
"This isn't something we have to worry about here.  Most of our problems are of our own creation.  At least our current problems."
>"So it isn't that different.  The pegasi control the weather, the earth ponies the soil, rocks, crops.  If there's something wrong, someone is responsible."
"I suppose it would be nice to have someone to blame when the weather's bad."
>"Or someone to thank when it's good."
"We don't control the weather, but we do have a lot of ways of adapting to it.  When it snows, we can remove it with machines.  We also have huge indoor spaces, heated and cooled by machines."
>"A lot of those things, like simple comforts, the unicorns make possible with magic.  Some of our machines are based on machines from this universe or a similar universe."
"Like what?"
>"Our trains.  Powered by steam, but the water is heated by magic.  Film projectors."
"What about war?"
>"We don't have it.  Any more.  At least not between ponies, or dragons, or griffons."
"But you did?"
>"Yes.  Smaller than yours, I imagine."
"Any secrets on ending them?"
>"Well, we made treaties and then stuck by them.  The Dragon King has kept his word."
"When did you reach these treaties?"
>"The last of them was about 500 years ago, and it just cleared up some border issues from the first one 800 years ago."
"You've had it pretty easy, I think."
>"What do you mean?"
"When you make a peace treaty, both you and they know they'll be dealing with the same leader for, well, basically forever."
>"Yes.  I can trust someone to be himself, and I have known the King for as long as anyone."
 
"Here's different.  You make a deal with one guy, the next guy may decide he has different ideas."
>"Your leaders don't live as long."
"That too.  So it seems like whatever lessons we learn have to be learned again and again.  Basically whenever everyone who remembered the last big war dies, we have another."
>Before you hear it yourself, you see Celestia's ears swivel behind her.
>The first sound you hear, like a twig snapping, is still at a distance, but the silence afterwards is as if someone suddenly stopped.
"You hear it, too," you whisper.
>Celestia wordlessly nods.
"Any idea what it is?  Or who it is?"
>"I think it's a human.  But not like you."
"What do you mean?"
>"Seems blank."
"Who's there?" you call out, patting at your holster and flipping the safety off.
"I know you're out there!"
>The stealthy sound resumes, coming closer.
"The next thing I had better hear is you explaining yourself, or the next thing you hear may be the last!"
>"I'm alone," a voice says.  "I'm not here to cause you harm."
"Come out where I can see you, and I'd better be able to see your hands."
>A figure steps out of the darkness into the moonlight, a human in a dark suit.
>However, he moves naturally, like a person would.  Not the strange, jerky motions of the other agents.
>The figure held his hands in front of him, palms facing outward.
>"You can see I'm not armed and I come alone."
"Nobody I know has any business with me, so explain yourself.  Who are you?"
>"My name is not important."
"Well, I have to call you something."
>"John.  John Smith.
"Okay, then.  If you're not interested in saying who you are, then what are you?"
>"I'm a federal agent.  But that's not why I'm here.
"So, why are you here?"
>"I'm here to speak to the Princess."
>Celestia appears fully in her regal form, her horn flashing briefly, before resuming her disguise.
>She glares coldly at "John Smith."
>"You will speak to us both.  And as my Royal Guard asked you, you will answer who you are."
 
>You have just encountered what seems to be a spy of some sort, identifying himself as "John Smith."
>After he demands to speak to Celestia alone, she glares coldly at him, saying:
>"You will speak to us both.  And as my Royal Guard asked you, you will answer who you are."
>"Very well then.  My name is Robert Randall.  Dr. Robert Randall.  I was a physicist at Los Alamos until recently, specializing in high-energy applications."
"And you are what now?"
>"I would prefer not to say."
"I could give two shits what you prefer not to say.  Did you come all the way out here to not say anything?"
>"Very well.  I'm a traitor to the human race."
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
>"I think you know what I mean.  I'm sorry.  I've been working with people who are planning something horrible.  I think you know what.  In my defense, I didn't know."
>Celestia interrupts.  "Enough vagueness.  Get to the point."
>"Okay."
>Randall, if that really is his name, suddenly pulls out a dangerous looking cylindrical object made of shining metal and glass, in which some substance glows a baleful green.
>You immediately jump between him and Celestia, fearing it is a weapon of some sort.  You draw your own gun.
"Put that down.  Now.  And step back with your hands folded on the back of your head."
>Randall complies.
"Now what is that thing?  It looks like a weapon."
>"It is."
>Your hand tenses on the trigger finger.
>"It's a bomb, but not --"
"You brought a bomb here?"
>"It's not to be used against you, but by you!  Though that wasn't its purpose."
"Explain."
>"That will take some time."
"Then let's do it somewhere a little more out of the way.  You carry that thing."
>It wouldn't do to leave it sitting in the middle of a trail.  You walk a distance into the woods, hacking a path with your machete.
>When you get a safe distance in, Celestia clears a small area for you to talk.
>Randall launches into a narrative.
 
 
 
        "I've been working in mostly government projects through my career, mostly in high energy nuclear physics.  I've also, for want of a better word, dabbled in well, what you might call magic.  I don' t mean like card tricks or anything.  I mean --"
 
        "I think I know exactly what you mean," says Celestia.  "Go on."
 
        "Well, naturally, I was embarrassed by this, because I knew as a scientist there was no objectively measurable evidence for any of this.  So I kept my interests a secret, lest it become a professional embarrassment.  This was until a couple years ago, when I stumbled on a semi-secret mailing list of people with similar interests, that is, establishing some scientific basis for magic, or at least the possibility of it in, well, other potential universes.  Anyway, most of the people on the list were basically unqualified and most of what got posted was, to be blunt, utter bullshit.  But there was one guy, at KEK in Japan, a Dr. Teruki Nishimura, who was actually doing what looked like serious work on the subject.
 
        "Basically, he was making predictions.  So I took it off list and got in touch directly with Dr. Nishimura.  Basically, his predictions were that if there were other universes, and they were magic, there would be intermittent areas of weakness between them.  Holes in the barrier, if you will.  It was sort of convoluted, but at least the way he described it, you would basically need magic to predict them.  So I was kind of stumped as to what to do.  I couldn't just watch the entire world.  Then I realized that with my job, I actually did have the equipment to do just that.  Dr. Nishimura's theory predicted that some matter would flow back and forth at certain times.  Given the different physics magic would have, there would be particles not predicted by the Standard Model.
 
        "So the idea was pretty simple.  I'd just look for bursts of these particles.  It turned out nobody else was looking for anything like them."
 
 
        "Needless to say, I did this clandestinely and without keeping any records at the lab.  Falsifying records and logs.  There was no way I could explain to my employers that I was seriously looking for magic from another dimension.  This was crackpot, mad scientist stuff.  But I kept at it, taking the data home with me when I left every night by swallowing a USB stick and, well, you can figure out how I retrieved it when I got home.
 
        "Anyway, I'm not really cut out for this spy stuff, and after a couple months, the discrepancies in what I said I was doing and the lack of data about it alerted the bean counter types and it was obvious that for whatever reason, I was misappropriating the equipment.  For some reason, they thought I was involved in some kind of accounting scam to make money.  I don't know, maybe someone else did that.  But I confessed to that in return for making it a quit or be fired thing.  For some reason, I found that less embarrassing than admitting to being a crackpot.  At least I'd be able to get a job after this.
 
        "But I still had one last batch of data.  And they didn't think of cutting me open.  I'm pretty surprised they didn't go full national security on me, but I guess they had already blamed me for something trivial and so long as I wasn't a spy or something, they'd just fire me and let it go.
 
        "Lo and behold, the last batch of data had a rapidly increasing burst of strange matter.  I mean, not that kind of strange matter, just matter that was strange.  The epicenter was in southern Washington State.  So I looked back over the last few batches of data, and there was a similar but fainter pattern, accelerating rapidly.  I couldn't be sure exactly, but a crude guess from just plotting a graph and extrapolating said it would spike in about a week.
 
        "So I contacted Dr. Nishimura, and we met up.  He had somehow managed to obtain enough observational equipment for a crude lab.  I didn't ask how."
 
 
>"And this would be the location where I appeared on Earth," said Celestia, who has listened quietly.
>Randall nods solemnly.  "You were not all that came through, though.  Dr. Nishimura approached the portal as it was opening."
"And where were you?"
>"I said that I felt this was imprudent.  I opted to remain with the equipment and collect data and, if possible, any matter that I could contain."
"What happened then?"
>"The amount of energy involved basically went off the scale, at least for the kind of equipment we had.  I saw Dr. Nishimura walk directly into it, and for a moment, I swear I could see right through him."
>Randall shuddered.  "And then he disappeared.  What came back -- he didn't come back alone."
"What do you mean?"
>"The man I knew was gentle.  A bit odd and aloof maybe, but now, he was ranting.  Raving.  About how we could be gods and rule the Earth together.  Not just the Earth.  Every possible Earth."
"So this device, this bomb, you said it was.  What does all this have to do with that?"
>"It's part of the plan.  That device is powered by unstable magical matter, temporarily stable.  If it is detonated at the right time and place, in combination with Nishimura and his. . .passenger, it'll --"
>Celestia suddenly speaks up.
>"It will blow the barrier between Earth and Equestria wide open."
>Randall nods glumly.
>"You fools!  Do you have any idea what that will do?"
>"I do now," says Randall.  "That's why I am here."
"So why bring this bomb?"
>"Calibrated the wrong way, or that is, the right way, it will do the opposite.  It will obliterate the connection between the dimensions once and for all, and banish the visitors from our dimension."
>Celestia thinks about this.  "That is, to my dimension."
>"I hadn't thought of that," admits Randall.
>"That will not be an issue.  There, he is a problem I have dealt with before and will deal with again."
"So what do we do with this?"
>"See this big red button?"
>You cringe.
>"Well, that's not it."
 
"So, how do we detonate it, then?"
>Randall demonstrates a somewhat complicated maneuver involving turning several rings in opposite directions, repeating it until you memorize it.
>"And you simply do this at the height of the breakthrough."
"The portal."
>"Whatever you want to call it.  As you walk through it."
"So you're suggesting that I set off a bomb I'm carrying in a door I'm walking through?"
>"The device should be physically harmless."
"Should be."
>What choice do you have?  Do we have?"
>Celestia speaks.  "The alternative is that the entirety of magic comes through to Earth and the worst of your Earth comes through to Equestria.  Like your nuclear weapons.  Neither world is likely to survive."
>You remember Celestia could practically accidentally wipe out the power grid or even all the communications satellites in orbit just by existing.
>Randall says "In a sense, it is like bringing matter and anti-matter together.  It is madness.  But Nishimura thinks he can control it.  Rule it."
"Yet you helped create this thing."
>"Nishimura apparently already had the plans for a containment device, and a prototype.  The bomb simply un-contains it, very rapidly."
>Randall sighs.  "That part is a crude approximation of one of my own designs, for other purposes.  But it will do."
"So how do we know you're not just some kind of double agent?"
>"You don't, really, but if I were, wouldn't I have just done something crude like shoot you?"
"No offense, but you don't look like the shooting sort."
>"Look.  I am someone who did something foolish.  Who believed we could do something great for humanity.  But I see a disaster in the works, and I have to do something to stop it."
"So why don't you just do it yourself?"
>Randall shrugs.  "I guess I could come up with some excuse, but I'll just face it.  I'm a coward.  I'm afraid."
"Isn't Dr. No going to notice his device is missing?"
>"Yes, probably.  Pretty soon.  My crude LED lit copy of it won't hold up to scrutiny."
 
"Is Dr. No going to be after you?"
>"Almost certainly."
"In fact, why isn't he here right now?"
>"He's waiting for you.  In San Jacinto."
"Why?"
>"Because where else would you go?"
"So what are you going to do now?"
>"I'm going to disappear.  In fact, if you don't mind, I will take my leave now."
>"Not quite yet," says Celestia, holding Randall still.
>Celestia grasps the device in her magic, scrutinizing it closely.  "It seems to be what he says it is.  It poses no physical danger."
>With a curt nod, Celestia says "You may go."
>Randall turns to go.  "Good luck."
"We'll all need it."
>Without a further word, he departs, walking quickly into the night.
"Do you think it's a trap?"
>"I sense that human was being sincere, but yes."
"What do you mean?"
>"Even if Randall took that device, we have no choice but to take it to exactly the person who wants it.  Wrap that thing in the black blanket and stow it away."
>You do as you're told, putting it securely in the right saddlebag, covering it with other items and balancing the weight again.
>The device, as small as it is, is remarkably heavy.
>"There's one good thing about this."
"Really?  You think so?"
>"We're unlikely to be harassed on the way there any more.  We both have the same plans, and they involve being at the portal when it opens, with the device.  So there's that."
"I suppose that's one good part of deliberately walking into a trap.  The guy laying the trap isn't going to try to stop you from doing it."
>"Just try to consider it a vacation."
"A vacation that ends with Armageddon."
>Suddenly, you feel a force grasp you by the chin and turn your head slightly.  The Princess looks you directly in the eyes.
>"None of this defeatism.  We will prevail.  Harmony always prevails."
>You hope she's right.
"One other thing."
>"Yes?"
"Back when you called me a Royal Guard, did you really mean that?"
>"Do I look like the sort of Princess who says anything she does not mean?"
>Royal Guard.  You like the sound.