Title:           TechAnon and the Tower of Babel
Author:          BabelAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/37cf7mrB
First Edit:      Thursday 15th of October 2015 12:20:54 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 15th of October 2015 12:20:54 AM CDT

>”I can't really believe your story Anon, buildings with over a 100 levels? Flying boats bigger than Ponyville? And yet there's no magic in your world? Please.”
>You can't help but blink at her exclamation.
>Maybe you should have realized she wasn't believing you when she stopped asking questions and kept saying 'uhuh' every time you pause.
>But… really?
>You can't help but feel a bit miffed, but you rationalize to yourself that you probably wouldn't believe anything about her world if you hadn't seen it yourself.
“I know it might be hard for you to imagine, Twilight, but there is such a thing as progress without magic.”
>She rolls her eyes.
>Jesus, when did she turn so fucking rude?
>”Anon, I'm not sure what you're so insecure about. Why can't you tell me the truth? This is for science!”
“Why would I lie? What's there to gain?”
>”I don't know Anon, why don't you tell me?”
>You give her a flat stare.
“...Really? Not even going to consider the possibility that I'm telling the truth?”
>She scoffs.
>”I studied under Celestia herself. I think I know a little something about magic, and more importantly what can be done with and without it. What you described, cannot be done without it. I mean, you said everything in your world is powered by lightning for goodness sakes!”
“Not lightening, Twilight. Electricity.”
>”Same difference! You also said that your 'automobiles' run off of explosion and fire!”
“Fuel, Twilight. They run by burning fuel. You have locomotives, how do you power those if fuel is such an alien concept to you?”
>”Magic!”
>You feel your eye twitch.
>Calm down, Anon.
>Try to be patient.
“There was a saying in my world; 'sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic'.”
>”Anon will you please drop the act now? I really need to send a /serious/ report to Celestia about your homeworld, and I can't turn in what you've told me.”
>Welp, you tried.
>You need to leave before you slap a bitch.
>You stand up, and start walking towards the library's exit.
>”Anon! Where are you going!? We haven't finished!”
>You stop, and turn to give Twilight another flat stare.
“If you're not going to believe anything I say, then there's no point to this. I have officially stopped caring. I'll see you later.”
>You turn back around and start walking again.
>”But what about your world!?”
“I guess to you it will forever be a mystery.”
>With that, you're outta there.
 
>Thank god for days off.
>When you first came to Equestria, you had trouble finding things to do. You always were too dependent on electronics.
>Since it's been a few months, though, you don't even miss your computer and phone.
>You never just stopped and… /looked/ at things before you came here.
>So you here you are, sitting down on a grassy hillside and just enjoying the day.
>Your world and this world have their pros and cons, but you must admit.
>Equestria is beautiful.
>No loud-ass helicopters or planes.
>No highways or cars.
>No skyscrapers or smog.
>At night, when you look at the sky, you can see /all/ the stars because there are no cities spewing out light pollution.
>Everything here is just so… raw and beautiful.
>Back on Earth, spots like this existed, but they were few and far between where you lived.
>Everything here, though, is so undeveloped.
>So simple.
>Technology is great, but you must admit there's something about living in a world that's truly untapped.
>…
>Plumbing would be nice, though. You do miss that.
>Digging holes to empty your chamber pot into really sucks.
>Cleaning your chamber pot is even worse.
>You idly notice Ponyville's train on its way to Canterlot in the distance.
>...If they don't burn anything to run those, why does smoke come out of it?
>It's pretty thin, misty white smoke, but still.
>Ah, who cares.
>You close your eyes as you lie down on the grass, enjoying the cool, moist feeling on your exposed arms.
>Enjoying the sun on your face, the sun that never gave you sunburns no matter how long you were out.
>Thanks, Celestia.
>You don't feel like anything could ruin this day.
>”Are you ready to tell the truth yet?”
>Uhg.
>You should have known yesterday wouldn't be the end of it.
>You lazily crack open an eye to see Twilight Sparkle, who had at some point approached you without you noticing.
>She had a parchment and quill ready in her magic.
“Twilight, I'm trying to enjoy the afternoon sun here. I really don't feel like arguing with you right now.”
>She groans.
>”Why do you have to be so difficult about this?”
“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
>”Seriously, Anon. I caught you in the lie already. I sent a letter to Celestia asking if lightning could be used as an energy source, and she said no! Just come clean!”
>She isn't going to go away, is she?
>Should you just tell her what she wants to hear and describe medieval society or something?
>Nah, fuck that. You aren't going to let this purple asshole win.
“Would you like to hear another popular phrase from my world?”
>”Does it have to do with telling the truth?”
“No, it only consists of two words. Go away.”
>You close your eyes again, and you hear her growl.
>Funny, you didn't think ponies could growl.
>”I will get the truth, Anon. Eventually.”
>You hear her start trotting away.
>She'll give up eventually… right?
 
>Early the next morning, your breakfast is interrupted by knocking on your door.
>When you answer, Twilight is there.
>”Ready to tell me about the /real/ human world?”
>You wordlessly slam the door.
 
>The next day, while you're out in the springs bathing.
>Twilight's head pokes through some bushes near the edge of the clearing.
>”Anon! Are you ready to-”
>You give an embarrassingly girly shriek while you hastily cover your crotch with a hand.
“Goddammit, Twilight! Piss off!”
>You throw your soap at her, and she yelps and runs off.
 
>The day after, you're working your boss' market stall.
“Here you are ma'am, eight carrots. That'll be four bits.”
>The mare takes her carrots and deposits the coins on the stall.
>You sweep them up and put them in the bag underneath the table.
>You look up, and see Twilight was next in line.
>She levitates a small purse filled with bits next to her.
>”How much for the truth?”
>Your eye twitches, but you remain professional.
“Ma'am, I'm a carrot salesman not an information broker. If you don't want carrots, please escort yourself out of the line.”
>She grumbles, but complies.
 
>It's been two and a half weeks since Twatlard Spittle started bugging you about your world.
>At first, she only came once a day. Annoying, but manageable.
>Then, she started coming twice.
>Then three times.
>She's started following you around hounding you when you're going from place to place.
>She's showed up at your workplace multiple times.
>She started throwing pebbles at your windows to get your attention when you stopped answering the door.
>You can't even get a fucking restraining order because this bitch is a princess.
>She's driving you fucking bananas.
>So here you are, quite a ways outside of town.
>A nice big empty area, Ponyville practically a spec in the distance.
>It took you a while to walk here, but you want to relax for a second without fucking Twilight hounding you.
>You sit down cross-legged on the grass, and close your eyes.
>You assume a meditative-like pose, and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
>Finally, a little peace.
>…
>…
>You hear wings flapping nearby.
>It's getting closer.
>Closer.
>Now it's close enough for you to feel the displaced air.
>You growl
“Twilight, I swear to fucking god I'm going to-”
>You open your eyes and see Rainbow Dash hovering above you, peering down at you quizzically.
“...Oh. Hi Rainbow Dash.”
>”Uh, hey Anon. What're you doing way out here?”
“Getting away from Twilight for a while.”
>She looks at you funny while she lands next to you.
>”...Why?”
“Because she won't fucking leave me alone.”
>”Oh,” she sits down, thinking for a moment. “Does this have to do with you lying or something?”
>You groan and lie down, closing your eyes again.
“I didn't lie, dammit. Twilight's just too closed-minded. What did she tell you?”
>”Not much. All she said was that you lied to her and that she would get the truth.” You can practically hear her shrug. “I could tell she was in one of /those/ moods, so I've been kind of waiting her out.”
>You open your eyes and look at her.
“One of /those/ moods?”
>She nods.
>”Yeah, one of those crazy egghead moods. Like when she tried to figure out the Pinkie Sense, or when she made the whole town riot over her doll.”
“This happens often?”
>She shrugs.
>”Occasionally. Twilight's weird like that.”
“How do I get her to stop?”
>”I dunno. Prove her wrong? Tell her what she wants to hear? What did you even say to get her like this?”
>Uhg, great. She's probably going to think you're bullshitting her too.
“I told her about my world.”
>She blinks.
>”What's so unreal about your world that Twilight thinks you're lying?”
“A bunch of stuff, apparently. 100 story tall buildings, flying machines, lights that aren't magical or a fire of some kind, that kind of stuff. She really takes issue with none of this being done with magic.”
>Her expression suddenly becomes interested.
>”Flying machines?”
“Yeah, flying machines.”
>”What are they like?”
>Huh. Maybe she's more open-minded than Twilight.
“Well, generally they're made of metal and use propulsion and the concept of lift to keep themselves aloft. Some only hold one person, some are meant to hold hundreds.”
>”How fast do they go?”
“That really depends on which flying machine we're talking about.”
>”Well, what's the fastest one's ever gone?”
>You think for a second on how to explain how fast these things go.
“Well… you know your sonic rainboom?”
>”Yeah?”
“When you first break the sound barrier, that's when you've reached a speed measurement my people called Mach 1. Mach 2 is twice as fast, Mach 3 is three times as fast and so on.”
>She nods in understanding.
“Well, the fastest manned aircraft I can remember was just under Mach 7.”
>Hey eyes widen.
>”Wow! How do they do that!?”
>I chuckled and shrugged.
“I don't know. You'd have to ask the guy who invented the damn thing. That's just the fastest aircraft, the spacecrafts we made go faster.”
>You didn't think it was possible for her eyes to widen further.
>”Humans made something that goes to space!? How fast was it!?”
“As I recall, the fastest went to Mach 30.”
>Her jaw is practically on the floor.
>”Woooow. I kind of wish I was born in your world now, Anon.”
>You smile.
“Yeah, well your world is pretty nice too. I like it here.”
>You pause.
“Thanks for believing me, by the way.”
>She shrugs.
>”Why wouldn't I? I mean, it seems pretty unbelievable, but why would you lie?”
“That's exactly what I-”
>”Anon!”
>Just like that, good mood gone.
>You look up to see Twilight flying down to you and Dash.
>She touches down nearby, panting from exertion.
>”I was looking all over for you! What are you doing all the way out here?”
“Twilight.”
>You pinch the bridge of your nose.
“Please. /Please/. Leave me alone.”
>”I can't do that until you tell me the truth, Anon.”
“Bullshit you can't, just go away! I've had it!”
>Rainbow Dash awkwardly coughs.
>”You know, Twilight, maybe he isn't lying?”
>Twilight's gaze snaps to Rainbow as if she just realized she was there.
>”I mean,” she continued, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. “don't you think he would have given up by now if he was?”
>”Rainbow, you don't know what he said.”
>”I know some of it, he just told me some stuff.”
>Twilight raises an eyebrow and peers at you like you're a piece of shit she stepped in.
>”Really, Anon? You couldn't convince me so you go to somepony more gullible? No offense, Rainbow.”
>Rainbow visibly bristles.
>”Hey!”
>Twilight flinches, then sighs.
>”Sorry, Rainbow, I didn't mean it like that. But you know you aren't exactly the most… scientifically minded.”
>”Yeah, egghead stuff isn't my thing, but-”
>”So please take my word for it when I say the things he describes are in his world, are impossible.” she finishes with a self-assured nod.
>Rainbow narrows her eyes.
>”So I should take /your/ word for it but not /his/?”
>”Uhg, Rainbow-”
“That's it! That's fucking it!”
>You swiftly stand up as both mares flinch at your outburst.
“I can't do this anymore! If the only way to get you to shut the fuck up and leave me alone is to prove you wrong, I fucking will!”
>You spin around, and start power walking towards Ponyville.
“I will bring you some fucking proof of concept, and shut your arrogant purple ass up once and for all if it is the last fucking thing I do!”
>You don't look back at the two shocked mares.
>How are you going to accomplish what you said? You don't know, but you're going to.
>Twilight will fucking eat her words, even if you have to spoon feed her.
 
>Night has fallen, and you've been staring at a blank parchment for quite a while.
>You're in your house, sitting at your desk with a quill in hand, ready to draw up the plans to the device to show up.
>When you made the announcement that you were going to prove Sparkle wrong, you figured you were going to make a lightbulb. That would prove your point about the electric power.
>You did it once before in middle school science, how hard could it be?
>As it turned out, pretty hard. 'Cause your mind is fucking blank.
>The longer you sat here, the more holes started appearing in your plan.
>Even if you did make a lightbulb, how would you power it? You couldn't ask Rainbow to use a black cloud and strike it with lightning, it would just explode if you did that.
>That meant that not only do you have to make a light bulb, but you also have to make something capable of powering it.
>From scratch.
>With no internet, book, or even smart friend to help you.
>Your dumb ass bit off more than you could chew.
>You had a basic idea of a crank, where you crank it and it generates power.
>You already know how to make a simple crank, but you have no fucking clue how to make it generate power.
>Honestly what the fuck were you thinking? Who do you think you are, Tesla?
>You groan as you slam your head on your desk.
>Now you were going to have to tell Twilight you can't do it.
>When you tell her that, she's going to assume she was right all along.
>Then the only way to get her off your fucking back would be /actually/ lie to her.
>Your human pride would be shot if you downplayed your homeworld's tech, but what can you do?
>It's not like you can just… just…
>…
>No way.
>It can't be that simple.
>It can't just all click together in your mind like that.
>You slowly raise your head off your desk, eyes wide.
“Eureka...” you whisper.
>You dip the quill in the inkwell, and begin rapidly scribbling. You have to write it down- before you lose it! Before you forget!
>How did you not see it before!? It makes sense! So much sense! You know exactly what to do!
 
>You are the recently crowned Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.
>It has been three days since Anon lost it in front of you and Rainbow Dash.
>It was frustrating that he wouldn't come clean, but after his explosion, you really began to think about your behavior.
>You have been a bit… obsessive, in your quest for knowledge.
>Okay, really obsessive.
>You didn't know why Anon kept lying to you, when all he had to do to make you go away is tell the truth.
>But then you started thinking about /why/ he would be so adamant on continuing the lie.
>Maybe his world was horrible, and he doesn't want you to pity him.
>Maybe his world brought up bad memories, and he wanted to avoid thinking about it.
>Heck, maybe magic had some adverse effect on his cognitive ability and has filled his mind with false memories.
>You slowly began to realize that no matter his reasons for lying, how you were behaving towards him was abhorrent.
>After all, how would you like it if someone kept trying to pick at /your/ secrets?
>...Admittedly, you don't really have any secrets, but still.
>While you never had been close to Anon since he came here, you didn't want to shatter any hope of friendship with him.
>The first thing you wanted to do after your realization, was apologize.
>Then you thought about it, and figured you were probably the last thing he wanted to see for a while. So you have him some space.
>Now you haven't seen him for three days.
>According to some ponies in town, they had seen him about but rarely. He remained in his house for the majority of the time, and the few times he was out it was apparently to buy some metals and use Searing Ingot's forge.
>You know Anon doesn't have any talent in blacksmithing, or he would be working as a blacksmith instead of for Carrot Top.
>Selling metal crafts paid a lot more than carrots, after all.
>He was probably using it to craft his 'proof of concept' he proclaimed he was going to make.
>You had to apologize and… -gulp- lie to him, to say you believe him.
>Friendship is more important than the truth in this instance. Sometimes, little white lies are necessary.
>You needed to halt his impossible quest before he hurt himself. Even if /half/ of the stuff he said about his world was true, he admitted he didn't know the exact science behind any of it.
>Just because his /species/ figured out something doesn't mean /he/ knows how to make it. Ponies invented the camera, but do you know how it works? No. No you don't.
>So here you are, at Anon's door.
>Ready to knock and apologize.
>…
>Any second now you'd get the nerve.
>…
>…
>Get it together, Sparkle. You're just apologizing for acting crazy. It's not the first time you've had to do it.
>Ugh. At this point you've probably surpassed Pinkie in the 'town loony' department.
>You shake your head, and resolutely knock on the door three times.
>…
>…
>…
>You frown, and knock again.
“Anon! Are you in there!? I'm not here to bug you about your world! I just want to apologize!”
>…
>You hear footsteps.
>You hear the door's lock being unlocked, and it swings inwards revealing a… rather ragged looking Anon.
>Bags were under his eyes, his complexion was paler than usual.
>He rubbed his eyes tiredly, blinking at you. He appeared confused.
>Well, time to bite the magic missile.
“Anon, I-”
>Suddenly, his eyes widen like he just realized something.
>”Oh yeah!” he said, interrupting you. “The… the...” he frowned, blinking rapidly as he thought. Then he smiled. “The proof of concept. Yeah. Come in, it's ready and I'll need your help moving it.”
>He actually created something?
>You open your mouth to ask but he's already disappeared back into the house.
>You frown, but follow him.
>When you're inside, you can't help but notice something… off about the house.
>You haven't been in here often, but it seemed more barren than before.
>You follow the sound of Anon's footsteps, going through the strangely empty living room and down a hall, where you found Anon again just as he turned and started going down some steps.
>...When did Anon get a basement? How could he even afford one with his job?
>You shake the though out of your head and follow him down.
>Once you make it down to the candle-lit basement, you can't help but gasp.
>It's clear Anon's been busy, because there was in fact a machine. It is smaller than him, but bigger than you.
>It wasn't encased in anything, allowing you to see its inner workings. You couldn't begin to decipher what each part was supposed to do.
>It was all very compact, save for a bit on the top, which appeared to have tiny metal wires wrapping around themselves, connected to a bit of copper.
>...Okay, whether or not whatever this thing did what it was supposed to, you can't deny that it is extraordinarily impressive. Quite a bit of craftsmanship went into it, whatever it is.
>You peer around the room, and realize that the machine wasn't the only thing Anon was working on.
>A good amount of parchment was pinned all over the walls, each of them covered in ink.
>Ink designs, drawings, paragraphs, and even equations. They littered the walls.
>How did Anon get the time to make both the machine, and scribe on all this parchment? In only three days!
>Then you look over at Anon, taking in his sickly appearance and quickly put the pieces together. He hasn't been sleeping.
>You open your mouth to ask him how much sleep he's been getting, when he suddenly shoves a parchment into your face.
>You shake it off and levitate it in front of you, seeing that it was covered with… what appeared to be instructions.
>”There you go, that's how you operate it. Now take it, test it, do whatever you want with it, I don't care.” he said, before hopping over to the desk chair, picking up the quill, and scribbling on some more parchment.
>You are officially a very confused, very concerned pony. If Anon really made proof of his world's innovations, he would be rubbing it in your face. This isn't like him.
>You place the instructions he gave you on the ground.
“Uh, Anon-”
>”You have the thing, take it and leave! I'm on a roll!”
“But Anon, I have questions.”
>He drops his quill, groaning as he slams his head on the desk hard enough to make you wince.
>”Fiiiiiine! Fine! Make it quick!” He said, rotating his chair around facing you. “What?”
>You blurt the first thing that comes to your mind.
“When did you learn to operate a forge?”
>”Three days ago.”
“Three days!?”
>”Yeah, three days. Is that all?”
>That's impossible!
“Anon, how did you learn to operate a forge that fast!?”
>He opened his mouth to say something…
>…
>…
>He spaced out.
“Anon!”
>”Huh?” He shakes his head. “Oh yeah, forge. I dunno, I just… /knew/, ya know?”
>What.
“What do you mean by that?”
>”I don't know how to explain it, it just came to me! Like all of this!” He gestured around the room. “It all just came to me, and I don't know why it didn't come sooner! I feel like I was so stupid before!”
>He suddenly grimaces, clutching his head like he has a migraine.
>But as fast as it comes, it goes, and he spins around and keeps scribbling.
“...Anon, how much sleep have you gotten the past three days?”
>”Zero. Zip. Nada. None,” he shakes his head. “I don't have time for sleep, Rarity! I've gotta get these ideas out of my head!”
“...I'm Twilight.”
>”Eh?” He spins around and looks at you again. His eyes widen. “Oh! Twilight! That proof of concept thing is ready!”
>He jumps out of his seat and kneels next to the machine.
>”I hope you appreciate the effort I went through to make this bad boy. Do you have any idea how expensive even tiny amounts of tungsten is?”
“Tungsten?”
>”Yeah! Tungsten! I needed a metal that wouldn't melt easy for the filament!” He flicks the thin metal coils on the top of the machine. “For that matter, do you know how expensive all of this stuff was? I had to sell a bunch of my furniture, hire a unicorn to excavate this basement, buy all kinds of tools, make all kinds of tools, and, and, and...” He frowned. “...sooo many ink bottles.”
>He grimaced, holding his head again.
“...Anon, you need sleep. Now.”
>He looks up at you, blinking rapidly. “No time for that, Lyra. I'm too busy, innovation waits for no-”
>You zap him with a sleep spell, and he's immediately out.
>You grab him with your magic, and slowly lower him down to the floor so the fall doesn't hurt him.
>You frown. This has certainly been an… experience.
>You turn to the machine.
>You then look down at the parchment, and read it.
-PROOF OF CONCEPT-
-Electricity CAN be used as a source of power. Eat it, Sparkle.-
-Also; you do not need magic or fire to create a light source.-
-How to use;-
-Step 1: pour water into tank-
>There's a crude drawing of the machine, with the tank part circled.
-Step 2: boil water by burning fuel-
>Another drawing, depicting a log on fire in the receptacle just below the tank.
-That's it. That's all. Behold the wonders of steam power, you technologically inferior purple fiend!-
>You frown at the parts referencing you, but you know you deserve it.
>You walk over to the machine, and tap the tank, hearing water sloshing inside. So he already filled it.
>You then open the receptacle beneath the tank, finding a slightly charred log inside already.
>You shrug, and use a small fire-starting spell to light it up.
>Then you close the receptacle hatch. Now you had to wait for water to boil.
>You weren't sure what to expect, but the instructions said it would create light.
>It was the moment of truth.
>…
>But you weren't going to sit there and wait for the water to boil.
>You use your magic to grab Anon, and walk back up the stairs with him in tow.
>You walk through the house, now understanding why it felt so barren. He sold a /bunch/ of his furniture, just to prove you wrong.
>Your ears go back. As if you weren't guilty enough.
>And you didn't even apologize.
>You rationalize that he probably wouldn't remember it if you did in the state you found him. You would apologize when he woke up.
>You finally reach the bedroom. You float anon into the bed, and magic the covers onto him.
>You would have undressed him first, but you know how weird he is about nudity, so you didn't.
>Then you start back towards the basement.
>As you reach the hall that led to the basement entrance, you notice that there's quite a bit more light coming from the room.
>...no way.
>No. Bucking. Way.
>You sprint down the basement stairs, and…
>...The metal coils on the top are glowing. Really, really bright.
>You couldn't even look right at it, it left spots in your eyes.
>It alone was producing more light than all four of the basement wall-mounted candles combined, and it didn't flicker, or waver for even a second.
>…
>…
>You need to write to Celestia.
>You need to write to Celestia right. Bucking. Now.