Title: LNPP from thread 58 Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/5BLy6Dgv First Edit: Saturday 23rd of July 2016 12:48:22 AM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Saturday 23rd of July 2016 02:01:58 AM CDT 181_______________________________________________________________________________________ [spoiler]It doesn't look like I need to bump, but I'm going to post anyway.[/spoiler] Non-Canon >Pinkie "Luna" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! Tonight's our season premier! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!! Canned applause "...didn't thou have a live audience and what happened to the theme song?"   >I DIDN'T KNOW THEY NEEDED TO BE WATERED! Also we couldn't afford the song any more.   "We have been hearing things about your activities and-"   >NO PONY DIED! THOSE WERE NON-CANON! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! (of all the anons I get stuck with the one that likes grimdark)   "...suspicious, but we are talking about complaints from your friends that you're abusing your show."   >What? But this is a humble set up. I just ask them a question and let them go.   "They don't seem to like you being in their dreams. Something about Pinkie being too Pinkie."   >Please don't cancel my show. It's my new thing!   "We're not here to cancel your show, we're here to tell you we don't want to hear these complaints. We're busy and don't have time to deal with this. Do something about them or we will have to take action."   >Uh, okay I'll start asking for consent before inviting ponies to the show.   "As long as we don't have to hear any more complaints about this. We will be off now."   >Oh uh question time.   "Very w-"   >Are you a pedo? You're around kids a lot.   "WHAT!?!"   >And that's the show!   "Don't just end with-"   >G'night and g'morning eveypony! Luna wakes up as the Sun is starting to set.   "...I'm starting to see the reasons for the complaints."   182_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, but someone has to provide laughter anyway. Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CADENCE!!! Cadence walks in with a princessy smile and wave. "Hello-"   >Question time! How do you feel about somepony gently stroking and petting you?   "O-oh w-well I'd-"   >Thanks for your time Cadence!   "Oh um, I-"   >Have to cut you off here because I don't want people to think our longer than usual segments are the new norm and-...our producer just gave me a suggestion that could increase our ratings. Suddenly smooth jazz [spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ30w9R3XEY [/spoiler] Pinkie begins petting Cadence and slowly strokes her back. Cadence starts blushing profusely.   "W-what are you doing?"   >Shhhhhh...I want to treat you nice and when you wake up, I want you to have a big smile. Cadence wakes up. "...wow."   183_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and we secretly praise Lord Helix. Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Hi ya'll...wait didn't you need to get my consent before doing this?"   >I did. Don't you remember?   ~flashback~ >Hey, I'm planning to do a show someday in the future. Would you be willing to be a guest on it?   "Sure"   >Great, just sign here.   ~Present~ "Huh...Ah do remember that...but for some reason Ah feel like that didn't actually happen. What was Ah thinking?"   >Now for the question. Things are heating up in Stalliongrad. Are you worried about any political ramifications?   "That's a serious question and Ah'm glad you asked. The answer is-"   >And we're out of time! Thanks for joining us.   "Ooof course-"   >Applejack, a package arrived for you. You should wake up and get it. Applejack wakes up "What am Ah going to do with Pink- oh it's cider! "   184_______________________________________________________________________________________ [spoiler]I meant to post earlier, but accidentally passed out mid writing.[/spoiler]   Non-Canon >Pinkie "Fluttershy" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I keep a watchful eye on the thread to keep it from falling. Now for our main guest...FLUTTERSHY!!! Pulls a wagon with Fluttershy scared stiff on it.   "Oh...there's nopony here this time"   >Yeah. The question tonight is do you think you can get me a live audience again? I'll take care of them this time I promise.   "Gosh, I don't know if I can."   >Can you try any way? Please?   "Okay, I'll give it a try." Fluttershy gives a blast of magic from her horn. An audience of cardboard appears.   >...I don't know how I feel about this.   "Oh um, let me try again." Another wave of magic and the cardboard audience can be heard cheering yay.   >...This might be a little worse.   "Oh my, it's not exactly a live audience." The audience goes aw.   >...you know what? It's fine. The audience goes yay.   "Really?"   >Yeah it's fine. I'll just stick to the talking cardboard audience...they're not sentient are they?   "Gee um, I don't really know. Hold on. Let me try one more time." More magic ensues. This time when they both blink the audience can be seen standing up smiling. Another blink and they sit back down.   >...I think we're done for the night. You can go now.   "Was I of any help?"   >...yeah. Just wake up. The audience cheers as Fluttershy wakes up. "Well, I'm glad my magic was helpful this time."   185_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Strawman Anon" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and the 4th wall is non-existant. Now for our main guest...ANON!!!   "So did I finally go to Equ-"   >No. Also don't take a seat yet. Spreads a bunch of Legos on the floor and proceeds to knock Anon on to them.   "Owwwww wh-"   >That one story you wrote was absolutely terrible! Now it's canon and you can't take it back!   "Which story was it?"   >You know exactly which story. The question for tonight is WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!   "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."   >It wasn't and I'm reminding you that we're all stuck with it!   "I'm sor-"   >Just wake up! A flower pot falls on Anon's head and Anon wakes up in bed.   "...which story was she- oh it was that story. Okay I kind of deserved that."   187_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Rarity" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and we try to fill in for the night. Now for our main guest...RARITY!!! Applause from the audience as Rarity walks in and takes a seat. Rarity blinks.   "Pinkie, did your cardboard audience just-"   >Yes they did and it's pretty creepy yes. Now the question for tonight is are you going to get any sisterly time with Sweetie Belle eventually?   "Oh my, I certainly hope-"   >and that's it for tonight!   "Really darling, must you make these segments so short?"   >...they stare at me.   "What?"   >By the way, the water's getting cold.   Rarity wakes up. "HOW LONG WAS I IN THE BATH!?!"   188_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "RD" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, but I still have to entertain people somehow. Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!! Applause as Rainbow Dash takes a seat.   "...Pinkie, what's up with your-"   >Just keep your eyes open. Anyway, the question for tonight is...can you take on cardboard?   "What?"   >Just answer the question please.   "...yes?"   >A great answer...   "...uh don't you usually end about now?"   >Yup...   "...I guess I'll wake up now then."   >Y-you can stay a little longer and keep me company. Audience goes awww.   "Sorry, if I'm asleep that probably means I passed out watching Fleetfoot. I should head back."   >Wait! D- RD wakes up. "...Pinkie sure was awkward tonight."   189_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Twilight" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I use these to keep track of days. Now for our main guest...Twilight!!! Cardboard audience applause as Twilight sits down.   "Pinkie, I didn't agree to come-"   >Yes you did.   ~Flashback~ >So I need you all to sign this consent form for my show. ~Present~   "Strange. I can't believe I signed-"   >SO...You're a princess, helped saved ponies from a zombie apocalypse, and just delivered a baby. What are you going to do now?   "For starters, I'm going to-"   >That's our show! If this is on youtube right now make sure to comment, like, and subscribe!   "What?"   >Uh, Spike's eating ice cream for breakfast.   Twilight wakes up. "Darn it Pinkie...wait...SPIIIIIIKE!"   190_______________________________________________________________________________________ [spoiler]After this I won't be able to access internet late night anymore, so it's going to be "fun" posting from a phone instead.[/spoiler] Non-Canon >Pinkie "Celestia" '[spoiler]Luna[/spoiler]' ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and saving the thread from falling off is the game. Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!! Roaring applause as Celestia sits down.   "Is that cardboard figure holding up a sign that says praise the sun?"   >Just ignore it. Anyway, so have you had any sisterly bonding time with Princess Luna lately?   "I admit it's hard to spend time with her when we have different sleeping-"   >and that's it for tonight! Join us next time for an exclusive sneak peek at next week's /pa/   "/pa/? Is that some sort of reality show that-"   >Don't worry about it. I'm just being Pinkie. Now if you'll excuse me. I need to go check if my sister Maud is in the Crystal Kingdom. It's so gosh darn easy to forget family sometimes. Celestia wakes up   'SISTER THOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THESE COLTS AND FILLIES DREAM OF NOWADAYS. Ahem, these new bands that these kids listen to are awful. We are exhausted and think we shall turn in early.'   >...Luna, could you join me in a little breakfast or your version of dinner? Just some time between sisters.