Title: LNPP from thread 114 Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/YP7sLLRR First Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 09:12:57 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 09:12:57 PM CDT 576_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I want the first story too! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!   Applause "Wait weren't we-"   >Do you have plans to watch the new Stellar Battles movie?   "Not really. Ah've never watch any of the Stellar Battles movies."   >...what?   "Ah've never actually seen any-"   >No, shut up. We're going to drop everything and go watch right now. I will reserve a movie theater for you and have you watch all of them...   "All of them?"   >...we should probably skip the prequels...and maybe find the original release...we're watching!   577_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'SAJ' ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but when I said right now, I meant right now! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!   They sit in a movie theater and space orchestra fanfare music plays. "...Oh there's reading involved."   >Sh sh shhh...yeah there's a little reading involved in the beginning, but embrace it.   "It's scrolled back. Ah can't read that far."   >Darn it, okay don't worry too hard about it.   '...Ah'm still here you know. It's not like Ah left or anything-'   >Sha-sha-sha-shush. This is important. Both of you need to experience this.   'But Ah-'   >Nopenope, have some popcorn. We finish later.   '...so why is the big ship chasing the little ship?'   >...are you one of those people who keeps asking questions in the middle of the movie when it's about to explain it?   "No." 'Yes.'   "..."   '...you know you are.'   "N-no." AJ looks away.   578_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'SAJ' ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I'm ignoring my own arc to watch movies!   *PEW* "Whoa, Bon Solo shot that alien."   >And Bon shot first, don't let anypony tell you otherwise.   "...um okay."   'This movie's pretty good so far. I'm glad we're doing this.'   "How come people just ignore the dead body?"   >The place is lawless and-   'No pony wants to clean up the mess probably. Do we ever find out what they do with it?'   >*sighs* no but-   "Ah wonder if she really had to shoot that bounty hunter though. Maybe she could have talked it out or something. Just shooting outright is kinda cold. Is it safe for Lute Cloudskipper to travel with her?"   >Don't you go there AJ and you'll find out if you'd just watch the movie.   "Fine, but how did they sell the speeder so fast?"   >...Is this what Celestia goes through?   579_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'SAJ' ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I need to get this out!   Applause "That was a great movie."   'Ah loved it.'   >Yay, I knew you would!   "But why did Oboe Wand disappear like that? Is she dead or what? Ah don't get it. Her body wasn't even there."   >It's a little weird to explain, but-   'How come the Death Sun didn't have many guard rails? Did they skip out on it because of budget?'   "What happens to Darth Flavor? Does she just float around in the Pie Fighter?"   >You find out in-   'That award ceremony kinda reminds me of the time after we beat discord.'   >Oh about that. The funny thing is-   "Hold up, if it's the size of a moon then why didn't they call it a Death Moon?"   >I'd explain if you two would just shut up and let me!   "You didn't have to raise your voice. We can hear you just fine."   'Look at miss grumpy there. Gosh, Ah guess there's no fun allowed here.'   >*gasp* Am I the grumpy one now? When did I become AJ's straight mare? Is this why DT's so grumpy wumpy?   "Shhh the next one is starting...oh more reading."   >WHAT IS MY LIFE BECOMING!?   580_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'SAJ' ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I drag a movie trilogy out!   "So that's what ponies are referencing. Darth Flavor is Lute's mother!"   [That was such a big twist!]   >...Who said that?   "Said what?"   'It turns out Master Yogurt was right. Shouldn't have gone.'   "Now hold up. The movie just ends right there? What happened to Bon Solo?"   >They threw her down a pit where she gets digested. Lute spends the rest of the next movie agonizing over it.   'What about Prince Lego? He's not going to be her romantic interest?'   >Stray blaster shot. The one time a Ponetrooper actually hit something. The actor who played Prince Lego was killed in an accident during the filming, so they had to kill him off.   ["'NO!'"]   Movie starts. >Nah I'm just kidding, but I'm going to start making up things if you keep asking questions about the movie.   'Ahh ha ha...you got me...Ah'll remember that when Ah'm about to kill you later.'   >...Oh yeah that's right.   581_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'SAJ' ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I feel motivated, downright motivated!   'Sheesh it was weird to watch those big koalas fight the empire like that, but overall I think that was a good-' Turns to see empty seats.   'Rude...Ah would have been willing to give them a head start if they asked.'   "APPLE BINDING!" SAJ gets lassoed to her seat by Applejack behind her.   >PREEMPTIVE PONK PUNCH! Delivers a powerful punch dazing SAJ. >PRETTY FLY PUNCHES! Throws a combo of punches.   'Owowowowow' Her tentacle tongue grabs AJ and uses her as a shield against the punches. "Owowow-" Pinkie stops. >Sorry sorry sorry! SAJ bludgeons Pinkie using AJ's head. >"OW OW OW OW!"   'You should have stayed home at the Apple farm...and been a family mare.' Throws AJ smashing her into the various seats.   'And you...' Picks Pinkie up with a tentacle tongue and chokes her. 'Ah don't know why you bother to hang out with such a boring pony who has to rely on talking about somepony else to keep herself interesting.'   >Urghk...I don't care...she's my friend...she'll always be interesting... Pinkie glares as her teeth turn sharp and pointed. >TO ME! Bites all the tentacle tongues clean off and slurps them like noodles.   'GARGH!' Pinkie moves to take a bite of her face, so SAJ bats Pinkie with a wing and sends her crashing into a wall. 'You bigth meh! And actuawwy tried to bi-' Pinkie gets up with SAJ's wing in her mouth dripping black gunk. She hungrily eats it. SAJ looks to her side and is shocked to find a stump of her wing.   "You're missing something!" SAJ turns to find AJ holding the halberdshotgun. "APPLE SHOT!" SAJ gets shot. "APPLE SHOT!" Gets shot again. Visibly hurt. "APPLE BLAST!!!" It shoots out an apple and explodes SAJ.   'You're...not actually boring.' SAJ vaporizes.     AJ sits down in relief. "Whew...Pinkie! Pinkie are you okay?"   582_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" '???' [???] ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but here's a Christmas Eve present!   "Pinkie are you okay?"   >I'm A-Okay!   "You bit off a chunk of that shadow me. That was brutal."   'Curses! You actually defeated it!' A filly sized dream eater appears speaking in a low female demonic voice. 'I meant to bring out your shadow and eat it. This changes things.'   >A Dream Eater? So that's why AJ's shadow randomly came out!   "What's a Dream Eater?"   >Right you're the newbie. It's exactly what the name says. Wow a lot of things have happened for a non-canon. Why didn't you eat AJ's shadow during the movies?   'I...wanted to see what was going to happen next.'   >Oh so you were the one shocked by the Darth Flavor was Lute's mom.   'Was trying to bring yours out, but it looks like you already ate yours. I didn't expect competition.'   "Wait what? Pinkie do you-"   'I was hoping to see the next one too, but a girl's gotta eat.' The Dream Eater begins inhaling the floor and warps the reality around it, sucking up seats.   >Hey stop! The Dream Eater spits a chair at Pinkie. >Gah   AJ readies her halberdshotgun. "APPLESHOT!" *BANG* The Dream Eater rips out another seat and uses it as a shield, then throws it back at AJ. "Uh APPLESLICE!" Uses the blade end to cut the seat in half.   'I hate it when the food fights back.'   Pinkie takes out a cannon. >AJ, at the same time! PONK CANNON!   "APPLEBLAST!" An apple and present shoot out. The Dream Eater spins using her trunk and tail to send them back. *BOOM*   >Ugh...maybe if we had a 3rd pony we wouldn't have to put up with this bully.   'I just want a meal. It's not my fault you're my prey.'   [LUNAR SCYTHE!] The Dream Eater evades, but still gets slashed on her side. Luna appears. [Long ago you were the monsters that drained our dreams and made us fear sleep. Back then you were the predators. But now we are the hunters and YOU are the prey.]   583_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" 'Rarity' [Twi] {FS} =RD= ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we take a short break to do a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!   "A what now?"   'I think this is a humor Pinkie moment, darling.'   Twilight shows up with a smashed flower pot on her head. "Rule one when dealing with Pinkie...don't question Pinkie."   >And don't you forget it! Now help me decorate Fluttershy! Puts a star on top of Fluttershy's head who's become half tree. >...Pst say the line.   {Oh um...I am flute.}   >Someday people of the future will wonder...what in the world is this referencing and the joke will fail, but as long as someone remembers.   "Remember when Pinkie once made a vague reference? Applefarms remembers."   =Hey Pinkie, I hear you've been having crazy adventures in these dreams. When are we going to go on an adventure together?=   >I'm still working with AJ right now, but depending on what happens in the future maybe I'll be able to bring you into the fold once I talk to my producer.   =Aw, but I'd rather have it now.=   >Come up with a shtick we could use and I'm sure our viewers will enjoy it!   [Will I go on some of the adventures too?]   >You're doing fine in canon. I don't really need to spotlight you.   [Aw, but I'd be interested in seeing what you do in these dreams.]   {Uh, I'm fine if I don't get a spotlight. You can pass mine to Twilight.}   >Don't be silly. I know there's a hidden mine of comedy in you that just dying to be found!   'Will I see a return someday?'   >You've already had your own cardboard shadow, but luckily my producer likes you, so you might get a cut ahead of others here.   "You know, my time on your show hasn't been exactly consistent. Are we ever going to-"   >That's all the time we have, but I hope you've enjoyed my show as much as I have. I love all my fans out there. Even the ones that send silly letters. G'night and have a very merry Christmas!   584_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [various] ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we are delayed due to heavy holiday drinking!   Cadence pulls a sleigh through the air with Pinkie and DT riding in it. "How come I have to pull the sleigh?"   'Does it look like we have wings?'   "But we're in a dream. Couldn't you have given it wheels or turn it into a helicopter?"   >Tradition Cadence!   "I don't know what tradition you're talking about Pinkie. You just strapped a sleigh on me and told me to fly."   >We're giving gifts to all the dreaming kids out there.   'If we're in a dream then what's the point of giving dream gifts to sleeping kids?'   >I'm giving them the gift of imagination!   'Pinkie, I'm a kid. We're full of imagination.'   >No harm in giving them more! There's one now. Hey little filly! Have a present! She shoots down a gift box that turns into a good looking colt. He gives the filly a special look.   [Thanks Pinkie!]   "...I don't get it."   '...is this heading where I think it is?'   >Hey little colt! I know what you want! Shoots a present at him which turns into a Cheerilee in a sexy school teacher outfit.   [You're the greatest Pinkie!]   '...wow, they're going to have a really nice dream tonight.'   >Wait until I give the shippers their gifts.   '...mother of Celestia.'   "Did Aunty Luna approve this?"   >I never bothered to ask! Sooo you're going to have to fly fast if we're going to reach everypony!   "...I'm scared."