Title: LNPP from thread 105 (Shadow Derpy) Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/hKg8paKw First Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 01:14:02 AM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Monday 22nd of August 2016 01:14:39 AM CDT 518_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "RD" ~~~~ >Welcome to Sort of Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content still matters, but some of them want to get used by you! Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!! Applause   "What's up?"   >You're dead! Welcome to my realm.   "Wait, what? What do you m-"   >Sorry about that last party, but it really was THE BOMB...then it exploded...and you died.   "Oh no, what about Rarity, Fluttershy, and you? Did you all die too?"   >Oh no, they're alicorns. They're just fine.   "Then are you dead?"   >Oh, my very existence is questionable, but I'm alive. It's only you that died.   "No...NOOOO! Please tell me this is a prank, Pinkie!"   >I wish I can keep talking to you, but our time is up. Say goodbye everypony. We'll miss, Rainbow Dash. Time to escort you into the light.   "Pinkie, wait don't do this. I've still got a lot to-" RD wakes up in a hospital bed. "...live for?"   >Ayyy, don't worry you're still alive. I was just joking with you. Glad that you're awa- RD starts strangling Pinkie.   "DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?"   >*grk*...okay...*glk*...I had this coming.   519_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Maud" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of them want to abuse you! Now for our main guest...my sister Maud!!! Applause   "Hello Pinkie."   >Great to see you sis. Now that you fought Shining Armor, are you heading back home?   "Eventually."   >Daddy says to bring back souvenirs.   "I will. I've been sampling for the best to take home."   >Awesome! He probably wants something for the rock soup. That's it for tonight and g'night everypony! Maud wakes up.   "Time for breakfast." She gets outside of the Crystal Castle, chisels out a piece of it and eats it. *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH gulps* "This will definitely make good soup." She spots the crystal heart. "...so he wants souvenirs."   522_______________________________________________________________________________________ NC I needed to get something out of my head. >Luna "Celestia" ~~~~ >CRECENT MOON CUTTER! A yellow spinning crescent energy blast leaves her crescent blade and disintegrates a nightmarish looking mime. >And another nightmare falls. Luna smiles at a job done when Celestia pops up in her face.   "Hey little sis."   >GAH! Wha-...sister, what are you doing here and how did you find me?   "What? I can't hang out with my little sis every now and then? The night guards directed me here to this dream. I wanted to see how you're doing since it's hard to catch you."   >What does it look like? I'm working.   "Mind if I tag along?"   >...I suppose.   ~Later in another dream~ >Begone shadow scorpion! There will be no nightmares here! CRECENT MOON CUTTER! A yellow crescent energy blast leaves her crescent blade and turns into a banana. It still hits the shadow and disintegrates it. >...what was that?   "Sorry, it was an accident. I was thinking how much it looked like a banana and it turned."   >That couldn't possibly be an accident. It would require a lot of concentration to change my attack into a banana!   "Oh then it couldn't be me. Did you see me concentrating?   >...I suppose not. It'd be too difficult for you, Tia.   "Wow, hurtful."   >Let's just move on.   ~An even later dream~ >Plague this filly's dream no more, demon dog! CRECENT MOON BEAM! She points her crescent blade at the nightmare dog, but glances at Celestia who's squinting in concentration and a banana leaves her blade. >IT WAS YOU, TIA!   "What? No...nooo. Do you really think I would turn your attack into a banana? You're working right now."   >I saw you! I clearly saw you turning my attack into a banana!   "Okay, so I picked up a few tricks over the years. It's still the same attack. It just...looks like a banana. It's your banana destiny! Own it like it's your own! Come on little sis. Lighten up."   >I'm not little! I'm over a thousand years old!   "Oh you'll always be little to me."   >Get out, Tia.   "Fine you're no fun."   >I am a bundle of fun!   "...isn't that from one of your ads for sleepytime baby blankets?"   >Go fornicate yourself, Tia!   523_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Luna" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of them want to be abused! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!! Applause   "We must speak with you."   >Oh really? That's different. What is it?   "Something has come up and we need you as a sub."   >*gasp* Is now my time? Are you finally calling on the P-team?   "Yes, go get the other two and I'll explain."   >Yay! What came up anyway?   "...it's not related to revenge...is all we are going to say."   >...okay. That's it for tonight, but tune it to find out what's going to happen next!   524_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [Luna] {???} ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and check out my art request! Now for our main guests...the Pink Pony Club!!! Applause   "I'm the pretty one <3"   'I'm the grumpy one.'   >and I'm the crazy one! The P-team is here! You wanted help on a job, Princess Luna?   [No, I just need a temporary substitute. My more experienced night guards are handling my usual duties, but after some shuffling, we've come up short and need somepony to handle a recurring nightmare while I'm away.]   "Away? where are you going?"   [...Somewhere that's very important, now stop asking.]   'Do I get to blow something up?'   [Try not to. This pegasus has a recurring nightmare about fragile packages. They always end up shattering inside the box. Just keep her from breaking it or opening it and I'll be back to pick all of you up before you know it. Also do keep your distance until then...it's rude to interrupt dreams that aren't yours...Pinkie.]   >Hey, I was trying something new for my show. Plus my friends weren't too mad about it.   [...Right. I need to leave now, but remember what I said. Don't let it shatter, and don't let her open the box.]   >Simple enough. Have fun doing your important thing.   [Oh I will...] Opens a door and leaves.   'This job sounds boring.'   "You never know what could happen. Maybe they have chocolate banana glory holes too."   >Uh...yeah...totally possible! Gotta love those chocolate banana glory holes... *KRSH* They turn to look and a wall-eyed grey pegasus panics over a box.   {NOOOOOO! How could this have gone so wrong!?}   >Aw she didn't say the exact line. Derpy begins opening the box.   >"'WAIT NOOOOOOO!'"   525_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [Derpy] ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I managed to get another art request! Now for our main segment...Failing!   Derpy opens the box. [No...noooooo! It's broken! This is all my fault!]   >We're too late!   "What do we do now!"   '...what was in the box?'   The all look in the box. >...it's a dick in a box...a glass dick in a box.   "*gasps* Shield your eyes, DT!"   'Why? It's broken.'   >That's it? That doesn't seem to be a big deal.   [You don't understand. I was suppose to deliver that box. If I break another package I'm going to get fired!]   "Oh no! Let's glue it back together!"   'I could probably buy you a new one.'   >Or throw a we're sorry your package is broke party!   [It's over...it's all over. I messed up. It's over. It's over.]   Pinkie's tail twitches and a glass pegasus statue falls from the sky, shattering on the ground. "Oh I don't like where this is going." More glass shatter to the ground and soon glass shards litter the area.   {That's right. It's all your fault. All you do is break things. That's all you're good for.} They turn to look back at the box and a pegasus who looks like Derpy climbs out, only she has glass shards sticking out everywhere on her body and has bloody empty eye sockets. {Why do you have to be so clumsy?}   >...I'm not hitting that. DT and Cadence turn and look at Pinkie. >...what? She's all sharp and pointy!     527_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [Derpy] {ShadowDerpy} ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we begin the mischief! Now for our main segment...Fragile Warning!   {I am a shadow, the true se-}   'ROCKET POWER!' *BOOM* ShadowDerpy is hit with a rocket and explodes into pieces. Shards rain down. 'Aaaand done. That was easy. Let's go home.'   "Didn't Luna say try not to blow anything up?"   'I tried...and I couldn't resist.'   "Well I guess if that's all it took, we should wait until Luna comes back."   >Um...girls? Some shards morph and turn into more ShadowDerpys.   'Oh, that's not good.' A ShadowDerpy tackles DT, stabbing her with the glass shards jutting out of itself. 'UGH!'   >Hold on! Another one kicks Pinkie and slashes her side. She tries to block a dropkick, but gets a hoof full of glass shards jammed into her, >Pain. Lots of pain.   "DOUBLE ARROW!" Cadence shoots an arrow into the shadows attacking Pinkie and DT, shattering them.   >Thanks!   '...for a face full of glass.'   "Sheesh you don't have to be so grumpy about it." the pieces take shape and even more ShadowDerpys appear. "...okay you can be grumpy now."   >I think this is suppose to be a metaphor. A fragile item that if broken, it becomes a problem and by breaking it further you'd get more problems. How deep!   'and the problems are deep in my chest. It stuck some glass in me!'   >Yep me too. I called it.   "If we can't break them what do we do now?"   >Simple...run!   'I've got the Derpy!'   [It's all over.]   Cadence picks up DT "I have the DT!"   Pinkie picks them all up. >And I have everypony else! A number of shards shoot their way. >RUNNING!   528_______________________________________________________________________________________ OoCO >AJ "Pinkie" ~~~~ *Knock knock* >Ah'm not going to get into mah costume at this rate. Opens   "Nightmare Night what a fright give us something sweet bite!"   >Aren't you too old for this?   "Don't be silly you'll never be too old for nightmare night...I mean look at princess Luna!"   >...that's because it's her holiday...sort of. Ah really don't think it was-   "Less talking more sweets!"   >Alright alright here you go. Puts an apple in Pinkie's bag. Pinkie has a brief twitch in her eye, but continues smiling with a full set of teeth.   "Thanks...for the delicious apple...on nightmare night."   >Well Ah'm glad you're able to appreciate it. SLAM   "...watch yourself when you sleep tonight."   530_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I have to do something really important! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howd-" An egg hits AJ in the face.   >An apple? I can't believe you would give your own friend an apple! Who does that!?!   "Ah was in my office! Ah didn't have any candy on me, but Ah had plenty of apples. Ah didn't expect kids to show up at mah door."   >No excuse! Your own friend and possible relative! I thought we were close! You're a terrible pony! Serious face.   "...hah...hahahahaha!"   >Hahahahaha!   >"Hahahahaha!"   "Okay okay, Ah'll remember to make some caramel apples next time."   >Awesome sauce! That's all we can ask. Anyway that's all the time we have. Catch everypony next thread!   "Were you the one throwing eggs at me earlier in the night?"   >Nah, just the one, but watch out. Those kids might put you on a hit list. AJ wakes up and gets a newspaper.   "Hm...there's an egg shortage...apple sauce on the rise for substitute..." She bites an apple. "...heh."