Title:           chapter1
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/FZa6X4NT
First Edit:      Sunday 12th of January 2014 03:46:03 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 12th of January 2014 03:46:03 PM CDT

 
 
There I was, just sitting around not doing anything much. When suddenly, I got a light show. Normally, this kinda thing doesn't happen. Especially when I don't go looking for it, and I was definitely not. I found myself surrounded by bright beams of all colors, it was pretty terrifying.
 
Pity that was the high point of it. The terror died after a few minutes of nothing happening. Well, the lights were still there, and I was in some sort of unending abyss. An abyss that as filled with all the colors of the rainbow, but an abyss nonetheless. I did take the opportunity to prepare myself though, so whatever I faced on the other side, I'd face it without shame.
 
I got my wish soon enough, when my scenery abruptly changed and I found myself in new surroundings. It was a room, I could definitely make that out. There was a bed, and some books on a small table. A bedroom! Progress is great.
 
There was one oddity though, a purple thing, standing in front of a stairs. It had green fins on its head, and a tail. It was staring at me, and the eyes were pretty big, an unnerving sight. It would have been scary too, except it didn't look very big. It barely reached my knee, I bet I could step on it. I might even try, if it moved, I'd show that thing who's boss. I could try speaking to it first though, no need to rush into violence. But I'd totally do it, if I had to.
 
My conscience must have debated mercy too long, because now there were two of them. But fuck, this one probably reached my waist. My one advantage was gone, looked like diplomacy was my only option now.
 
This one was purple, too. I guess everything was purple here. She was a unicorn, looked like one anyway. So I guess different shapes were alright. Awfully tolerant of them, not caring what you looked like. They probably killed and ate anyone who wasn't purple, but nobody was perfect. The other one had two legs, that's probably worth noting.
 
Neither of us spoke, but there was a lot of staring involved. The little one looked a bit freaked out, but not the other one. She was a creepy thing, a demented looking grin plastered over her face. She looked pretty bad in general, with her hair an awful mess and her purple fur looking a bit dirty. Little guy must have agreed, since he looked at her as often as me.
 
Then, just when I was about to take charge, she spoke. "I am Twilight Sparkle," she said, then she pointed at the little thing. "This is Spike."
 
"Hello," I said, standing casually.  I'd play it cool, they probably even thought I knew how I got here. They might have been wise to the game though, since Twilight giggled.
 
"Anyway, you're probably wondering why you're here," Twilight said. She gave me a look at this... a strange one. She may be planning to eat me.
 
"...Maybe I am," I said, folding my arms. I think I had 'playing it cool' down. Twilight certainly didn't call out my bullshit, so that must be something. Spike didn't seem to be going for it. But he had stopped staring at me, redirecting his attention to Twilight. I probably freaked him out. Good, he should fear me, I'm manly and intimidating.
 
I looked away from Spike, though. He clearly wasn't running the show. Did Twilight move a bit closer to me? I think she did, better not take my eyes off of her. I took a small step back, as discreetly as I could manage. But I could see it in Twilight's face, she knew. Spike must've known too, since he was now shaking his head pretty frantically. I guess that's a common expression for things with heads.
 
"I know you're frightened, but I called you here for a very special reason," Twilight said, she sounded pretty angry. She looked it too, twitching a little bit as she spoke. "Intercourse."
 
"What?"
 
Twilight went red. "I summoned you here for... sex," she said. Well, at least she seemed embarrassed about it. The anger was gone too, but I guess it wasn't anger, as disturbing as that was. Twilight seemed to have gone to a lot of effort for all of this, which did raise a good question.
 
"Okay... and why did you do that?" I said. She looked like she could overpower Spike. The dragon didn't seem particularly strong. I wonder when I started assigning sex to them. They seemed more androgynous than anything, although I didn't have anything to compare them to.  
 
"Well, there aren't many stallions around, and other races won't..." Twilight said. She was making circles with her hoof now. She seemed quite shy, compared to her first outburst. It would have been cute, but she already burnt that bridge.
 
Twilight gets rejected by everyone apparently, even other races. Also, there were other races  and, judging from Spike, race is just politically correct for species. That explains why Spike is different, although they still might all be purple. But they might not be. Things are really looking up now!
 
Except for the sex-crazed unicorn. I'm still leery about that. Hang on, unicorns look like horses. Well, that explains why Twilight gets rejected by other species. She can add another to that list.  
 
"I'll... have to pass," I said. It didn't seem to bother Twilight though, since she started to walk toward me.
 
"You're not allowed to say that," she said... with lust, or anger. It might have been both. Her horn started glowing and I knew it was time to say my goodbyes. So, with a quick movement, I rushed around to her side and knocked her to the ground. She didn't seem to have very good balance, so it wasn't a hard thing to do. Then I was off, rushing to the stairs. Spike was kind enough to jump out of the way, so my descent went unhindered.
 
The most immediate thing I found was that Twilight had a lot of books. Shelves upon shelves of them. A bit disturbing if they were all hers, even if she was a collector. But Twilight seemed to be a pretty disturbed unicorn.
 
I saw the way out. A door made out of wood, everything seemed to be made out of wood. It was off-putting, to say the least. But I kept on going right through that door. It wasn't locked or anything, because that would be silly. Twilight didn't seem particularly prepared about this. I feel a little bit insulted, she could have at least locked the door. No sense in sulking over it. Her loss is my gain, and all that. I was free!
 
It only took a second of getting out before I realized something important. I wasn't going to be the regular kind of sex slave that you locked in the basement. No, I was an alien. It was fairly clear all these bastards realized it too. They had a little town, looked like there was a good few of them living here. They were everywhere, and apparently some of them could fly. They were a colorful bunch as well. Really put my fears of not being purple to rest.
 
It seemed I was the center of attention here. They didn't move toward me or anything, and I returned the favor with enthusiasm. Twilight was right about one thing, there really weren't many stallions. I think. One red guy looked pretty damn big, I suppose he's the male... or a freak of nature. He was pretty damn big, I don't see how it could have worked out.
 
I figured it was time to be on my way. Twilight could show up, and this wasn't really going anywhere. So, I chose a completely arbitrary direction and just started walking. The ponies just stared, and that suited me fine. I even got pretty far out. By the time I got to their outskirts of their town, nature started to get pretty wild. There was even a forest. They seemed to have not raping the environment down pretty well. Twilight's house was a tree too, it definitely had the shape of one. It was hollowed out and probably dead, but definitely points for effort.
 
I heard a crunch. I was being followed. Twilight had found me, probably hell bent on changing the meaning of 'no.' I whirled around, ready for whatever she could throw at me. Well... she couldn't throw things, probably why she had Spike. But I was ready for whatever Spike might throw at me.
 
I got all psyched for nothing, since it wasn't Twilight. No, instead it was a green one. She looked pretty cautious about approaching, and had almost completely stopped when I turned to face her. She was a unicorn too, for all that was worth. She might try to stab me, that would suck. But her horn didn't look very sharp. More like a stub than anything else. I could take her. Twilight's did glow, that was pretty ominous.
 
"H-hello," she said, "My name is L-Lyra," she said. It was a bit cute, how she stuttered. Certainly doing better than Twilight. I doubt that will last long.
 
"Hello, Lyra," I said. I think it was pretty friendly, but she didn't answer. it looked like she'd drifted off. She just stared straight at me. Considering she wasn't very tall, it seemed like I had found myself another Twilight. After a minute or two of that, I decided to end her ogling session.
 
As I moved my hand, I noticed that Lyra's gaze followed that. I also noticed she was drooling, so it wasn't all good news. I moved my hand around a little bit. Yep, she was definitely looking at that. I'm not going to poke her, that's what she wants.
 
"Are you staring at my hands?" I said. It got her attention, and she tore herself away from it to look at my face.
 
"Em... yes," she said. She didn't seem too bothered about it. Ponies must have a thing for being blunt.
 
"Is it for intercourse?" I could be blunt too. Maybe that was the way to treat these ponies. Hopefully, they'd respect that.
 
"What? No!" Lyra said. She looked disgusted by that. It was definitely disgust. I was absolutely certain about it. Turns out ponies don't have a thing for bluntness, Twilight must be a weird one.
 
"Oh, right then. Well... that's good," I might have screwed up a little. Or she was lying, I bet she was. All the ponies should want some of this. I flexed some of my fingers and Lyra went right back to staring. I chuckled, I knew she couldn't resist me.
 
Wait, that's a bad thing. I better stop. "So, Lyra. What's up?" I really need something to talk about. I don't know how long I can keep this small-talk going.
 
"You're here, with your... hands," Lyra might have been having some issues with small-talk as well. I felt a little better about that. I think I'll keep conversation away from my hands for now though.
 
"So, that town, I bet it had a name. Care to share it?"
 
"Ponyville." Lyra didn't even look up. Still, she wasn't drooling as much. That's always a plus.
 
"Okay... and the forest?" Well, my brief burst of small-talk was gone. Talking about the forest, I was losing my edge. I doubt it even had a name. She looked up though. She even shivered! Wow, that forest was just a goldmine of emotion.
 
"The Everfree Forest. We don't go there," she said. She looked pretty afraid now. I felt a bit bad about bringing it up. I could pet her, that might make her feel better. Screw it, can't hurt.
 
So that's what I did, just put my hand out there toward her. She watched it fairly obsessively the whole time. Soon enough, it was on her head and then I just... stroked. Lyra didn't seem to mind it.
 
She actually looked happy, and then she started purring, or something like it. Well, that ruined the moment. For me, anyway. Lyra still seemed to be enjoying it.
 
Well, this continued for quite a while, much longer than I would have liked. Lyra was getting real into it now, pressing up against me and hopping about a little bit. Taking that subtle hint, I knew it was time to stop. I was pretty slow about it, no sudden movements or anything. She did not take well to that, not at all.
 
"Why'd you stop? That was... fun," Lyra said. She was panting now, so I don't think I wanted in on that kind of fun. I could've just stayed with Twilight for that. Well, better move on to my more long term goals.
 
"So, Lyra. Where's a good place to go if you just showed up here?" I said. I definitely needed a plan here, she may have figured out how unprepared I was. Although, she still looked fairly cross-eyed, I might be in the clear.
 
"You could come back to Ponyville, and stay... with me," she said. Lyra was looking at me dreamily now. Not a chance that I'm going for that offer. She didn't seem to bothered about me being an alien though. Why did I even run from the ponies? Aside from Twilight, they hadn't really done anything. Lyra wasn't really selling me on them, but that was only two bad ones.  
 
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna pass. Got a whole world to see, and all that," I said. Ponies might be alright, but avoiding Twilight seemed to be a good idea. It was time for me to move on, before Twilight figured out where I went. Still, I knew to avoid the evil forest and Ponyville, those other races Twilight mentioned might be a good bet. I knew where to go, so it was time to say my goodbyes to Lyra. Hopefully, she won't just follow me.
 
"It's been fun, Lyra. But it's getting pretty late, it's time to get going," I said. I started moving, she followed. I turned around, doing my best to intimidate her. "No, Lyra. You can't come with me."
 
Shit, now she was pouting... maybe. Her ears had flattened against her head and she was looking up at me with big-ass eyes. So it was probably pouting. Ponies looked weird.
 
"But... I wanna come," Lyra pleaded. That was pretty whiny, but I was still caving. I said no to Twilight, and I could say no to her. But dammit, it was hard. I tried looking away, but it was hard than I expected to avoid looking at her. And then I felt guilty. She was a pretty shady thing, but I still felt guilty about it.
 
I was going to answer, but I got to avoid that terrible confrontation. Because Twilight showed up out of nowhere, in a purple ball of fiery death. Apparently, she could do that. She probably should have done that earlier, but who am I to judge. Maybe it wasn't charged. Late or not, it still managed to freak me out, not that I let it show or anything.
 
Twilight looked even worse than before, even dirtier than when I first saw her. Probably stressed because I was busy running around, that seemed like it wasn't something she wanted.
 
"Get away from him, Lyra! That's a dangerous... demon," Twilight shouted, her horn sparking at me. It seemed like she could shoot lightning at me, was she going to do that earlier? That sucked. Although, if she could do it, I bet Lyra could. I pet her, she owed me. Lyra wouldn't really go for that demon bullshit, would she?
 
I should monologue less, since they were already facing off. Lyra had jumped in front of me and her horn was sparking too. It would have ended pretty badly otherwise.
 
"Twilight, you're not thinking straight!" Lyra yelled. She was probably right, Twilight did seem a bit crazy, not that Lyra seemed much better.
 
"He's corrupted you, he needs to be removed!" Twilight said quite calmly. Shit, that did not sound good. Lyra was definitely the better bet now.
 
There little stand-off heated up. Now, they were firing beams of color at each other. It wasn't lightning, but it didn't seem friendly. Twilight had a purple color and Lyra was firing off a green one. It was fairly interesting, I took a few moments to appreciate it.
 
Where the beams met was quite a show, hitting off each other, they occasionally flashing different colors. Sparks, too, enough to start a fire if they kept it up. Of course, if Lyra won she could probably catch me with her freaky magic and I'd be stuck anyway. It was lucky she didn't figure that out earlier. With that in mind, I slipped away.
 
The town still seemed a bad idea, and the evil forest was probably an evil forest. So, I chose one of the other two directions and sprinted off. Lyra and Twilight were busy fighting, so I managed to disappear without them noticing. I wished Lyra luck against Twilight, but I was striking out without her.