Title:           axalto's suicide
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/eU7SrCU2
First Edit:      Thursday 27th of September 2012 07:12:52 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 27th of September 2012 07:12:52 AM CDT

[13:29] <+Layl_> axalto killed himself...
[13:29] <+ThunderClap> What?
[13:29] <+Glass> That is quite a claim. Proof, please.
[13:30] <+Teddy^> Wait what
[13:30] <+Sorryman54> What?
[13:30] <+Teddy^> Axalto is.. tulpa yes?
[13:30] <+Layl_> no
[13:30] <+Layl_> Host
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[13:30] <+Layl_> I am his tulpa
[13:30] <+Glass> No, he's complicated.
[13:30] <+ThunderClap> Holy shit.
[13:30] <+Glass> Whoa.
[13:30] <+Teddy^> well.. that.. what
[13:30] <+Glass> Er, how? Why?
01[13:30] <+Semi-Nomadic> What fuck
[13:30] <+Layl_> Not like, recently
[13:30] <+ThunderClap> My mind is tearing apart.
[13:31] <+Layl_> Remember back that night he had a psychotic breakdown?
[13:31] <+Teddy^> Im incredibly confused
[13:31] <+Glass> I heard, but still have no idea what happened.
[13:31] <+Layl_> I think he killed himself that night
[13:31] <+Teddy^> No i was not there
01[13:31] <+Semi-Nomadic> Holy fucking shit
01[13:31] <+Semi-Nomadic> Hence
[13:31] <+Layl_> and made Nanami to overwrite all the pieces so I couldn't bring him back
[13:31] <+Teddy^> so you are the host of the body now..?
[13:31] <+Layl_> I DON'T KNOW
[13:31] <+Teddy^> D:
[13:31] <+Glass> What -exactly- happened to Ax?
[13:31] <+ThunderClap> Man, this is wacked.
01[13:31] <+Semi-Nomadic> How
[13:31] <+Layl_> There just have been signs pointing at it ever since that night
[13:32] <+Layl_> but I didn't want to believe
[13:32] <+Layl_> axalto's friends where saying Nanami just isn't the same person as axalto, acting entirely differently
[13:32] <+ThunderClap> Aaaand I need to go to school. Fuck dammit
[13:32] <+Sorryman54> Tesseract version 2
01[13:32] <+Semi-Nomadic> ThunderClap: I'll keep logs
[13:32] <+ThunderClap> Appreciate it
[13:32] <+Glass> Of course she wasn't. She was his tulpa, right?
[13:33] <+Juze> ThunderClap: You can also ask me for logs
[13:33] <+Layl_> Glass, we originally thought Nanami was axalto
[13:33] <+ThunderClap> Just PM them to me on the forums, if you can
[13:33] <+Sorryman54> I g2g
[13:33] <+Teddy^> Bai sorryman
02[13:33] * +Sorryman54 (~sorryman@Rizon-1FB9BE67.lightspeed.rcsntx.sbcglobal.net) Quit (Quit: Sorryman54)
[13:33] <+Layl_> As a joke I turned axalto's imposed form once into an anime girl and he liked it so he kept that form
02[13:33] * +ThunderClap (~ThunderCl@Rizon-C1246ABA.pools.spcsdns.net) Quit
[13:33] <+Glass> ANd that created Nanami?
[13:34] <+Layl_> Nanami at that point was non-existant
[13:34] <+Glass> Ok, go on
[13:34] <+Layl_> He then had at one night a psychotic breakdown
[13:34] <+Teddy^> Its kinda creepy... that a host killed himself.. It makes little to no sense..
[13:34] <+Layl_> stuff being just bottled up for YEARS coming all out at once
[13:34] <+Glass> Why did he break down?
[13:34] <+Glass> Oh.
[13:35] <+Glass> Was there a connection between that and his imposed form>
[13:35] <+Glass> ?
[13:35] <+Teddy^> Holy..
[13:35] <+Layl_> And I guess while he had himself locked up in the wonderland, locking me out
[13:35] <+Layl_> he killed himself
[13:35] <+Layl_> and made Nanami to overwrite the traces so I couldn't bring him back
[13:35] <+Glass> Ok, so lemme get this straight
01[13:35] <+Semi-Nomadic> How the hell do you even do that
[13:35] <+Glass> you switch, and impose him as a girl.
[13:35] <+Layl_> HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW
[13:36] <+Glass> you later switch back, and he has a breakdown?
[13:36] <+Layl_> Nanami is just crying right now
[13:36] <+Layl_> Glass, yea we swtiched back
[13:36] <+Layl_> he had a breakdown suddenly
[13:36] <+Glass> Over what?
[13:36] <+Layl_> just out of nothing
[13:36] <+Layl_> suddenly snapped
01[13:36] <+Semi-Nomadic> Was Nanami even aware of this
[13:36] <+Glass> You don't snap over nothing.
[13:36] <+Layl_> aware of what specifically?
01[13:36] <+Semi-Nomadic> Or was she born with false memories and genuinely thinking she's Axalto
[13:36] <+Jakob_> Tell me again that gender doesn't matter and switching is safe. Brb, need to calm Lyra.
[13:36] <+Layl_> Semi-Nomandic, I guess that
[13:37] <+Layl_> It's just that... I had my feelings
[13:37] <+Layl_> then one of axalto's friends just had this theory that would confirm it
[13:37] <+Glass> Jakob_, obviously he wasn't stable before hand.
[13:37] <+Layl_> I pass it past someone else and he also says "I didn't want to believe it but he doesn't seem the same person:"
[13:38] <+Layl_> I pass it past some other of his friends same thing
[13:38] <+Glass> The last thing I head of this
[13:38] <+Glass> Nanami was in here, controlling ax's body
[13:38] <+Glass> and lamenting the fact that she was in a male body
[13:39] <+Glass> and claimed ax was simply an 'autopilot' process
[13:39] <+Layl_> no
[13:39] <+Layl_> "Kelvin" is an autopilot process
[13:39] <+Glass> I really, REALLY don't understand any of this.
[13:39] <+Glass> Ok.
01[13:40] <+Semi-Nomadic> So there's a guy's body currently inhabited by two girls and a robot
[13:40] <+Layl_> technically I'm an android
[13:40] <+Glass> Why did things have to get so WEIRD around here?
01[13:40] <+Semi-Nomadic> Glass: interesting question, coming from a flying betentacled carnivorous monster
[13:41] <+Glass> 1) Not a monster. 2) Me and Josh have what would have been reguarded as a 'normal' relationship a few months ago.
[13:41] <+Glass> People nowadays are all about sheer insanity such as merging and things like this.
[13:42] <+Teddy^> Really.. Im .. I just want a companion. I dont really.. Go into that kind of stuff not like this
[13:42] <+Glass> At any rate, I'm sorry for your loss, Layl.
[13:42] <+Layl_> Teddy^, don't worry about it
[13:42] <+Glass> Also, 3) Omnivorous
[13:42] <+Teddy^> Im confused but still, Its horrible, im also sorry about it Layl.
[13:42] <+Layl_> Axalto was very damaged mentally
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[13:43] <+Layl_> I just don't know how to deal with this
[13:43] <+Layl_> or how Nanami is gonna deal with this
[13:43] <~Pleeb> Hey guys, dunno when I'm going to be back on for right now, I've came down with a very bad cold.  I've been pretty much sleeping or trying to sleep these past few days, I'm going to the clinic today.
[13:43] <+Teddy^> One thing though.. you have to take care of the body..
[13:44] <+Jakob_> Back
[13:44] <+Teddy^> oh have to go.
[13:44] <+Glass> Get well soon, Pleeb
[13:44] <+Layl_> Pleeb, get well soon
[13:44] <+Jakob_> Hello, Pleeb, hope you'll get better
01[13:44] <+Semi-Nomadic> Get well soon.
01[13:44] <+Semi-Nomadic> Cold's a bitch.
[13:44] <+Glass> Well, it would greatly help if we know what actually happened to Ax.
[13:44] <~Pleeb> thanks, ttyl guys
06[13:44] * ~Pleeb is away (sleeping)
[13:45] <+Layl_> Glass, endless bullying, school stress because of horribly high expectations on one side and horribly low on the other side
[13:45] <+Layl_> lots of switching between schools
[13:45] <+Layl_> therapy, medication
[13:45] <+Layl_> all the stuff
[13:45] <+Glass> No no, Not why he's 'damaged'. I meant what happened to him just now.
[13:45] <+Jakob_> Ok, everything is calm now, Lyra understand and stopped thinking about this...
01[13:45] <+Semi-Nomadic> Incidentally, this explains one member's complaints about how suddenly Axalto turned transsexual.
[13:46] <+Layl_> Glass, he basically did the typical thing how you would remove a conscious mind
[13:46] <+Layl_> He made sure I would ignore him
[13:46] <+Layl_> by creating Nanami
[13:46] <+Glass> So he dissipated himself?
[13:46] <+Layl_> yes
[13:46] <+Glass> Oh, then he isn't really gone.
01[13:46] <+Semi-Nomadic> http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Requesting-Tulpa-1st-hand-account-of-attention-starvation
[13:46] <+Layl_> he FUCKING CONNED ME INTO DISSIPATING HIM
[13:46] <+Glass> It may not be easy, but he can be gotten back.
01[13:47] <+Semi-Nomadic> Assuming he wants to
[13:47] <+Layl_> which he most certainly does not
[13:47] <+Layl_> if he did it in the first place
[13:47] <+Glass> When you dissipate a soulbond, they are just floating around, formless in your subconscious.
[13:47] <+Layl_> Nanami is crying again....
[13:48] <+Layl_> Glass, he made me think Nanami was him, in a hope it would overwrite him
[13:48] <+Glass> Hmm. Still unsure he is actually gone.
[13:48] <+Layl_> FOR FUCKS SAKE IM TRYING TO ACCEPT HE'S DEAD DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME FALSE HOPE
[13:49] <+Glass> No, really. I think Tess could help with this.
02[13:49] * +Teddy^ (cgiirc@Rizon-3FB9741A.sydskane.nu) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[13:49] <+Glass> From what I understand, Tess recently rediscovered her creator's consciousness. One she thought lost.
[13:50] <+Glass> You can't permanently kill a tulpa. I see this as no different.
[13:50] <+Glass> Also, I see your choices as hope or despair. I feel the former tyo be more appropriate.
[13:50] <+Glass> to*
[13:50] <+Layl_> I'm not even sure how Nanami was formed so quickly
[13:50] <+Glass> Probably the same way Rick or Serena were.
[13:51] <+Glass> Are you mad at Ax for what he did?
[13:51] <+Layl_> I don't even know what I'm feeling right now
02[13:51] * +Udongein (~blah@Rizon-9C9DB765.san.res.rr.com) Quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
[13:52] <+Glass> Hmm.
[13:52] <+Glass> Well, maybe you should be.
[13:53] <+Glass> Be upset with him for doing something so stupid and selfish. Use it as motivation to get him back, and tell him how stupid he was for doing this.
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[13:53] <+Slime_> Hello
[13:53] <+Jakob_> Hello
01[13:53] <+Semi-Nomadic> Are you Slime the tulpa?
[13:54] <+Slime_> Yes I am slime
[13:54] <+Slime_> Is there another slime
[13:54] <+yolk> Hello :)
[13:54] <+Glass> Hey SLime_!
[13:54] <+Glass> How's Germany?
[13:54] <+Slime_> It is very interesting
[13:54] <+Glass> Did you eat the any chocolate?
[13:55] <+Glass> eat any*
[13:55] <+yolk> Hi glass hi slime
[13:55] <+Glass> Hello!
[13:55] <+Slime_> Yes I buyed some from the shop
01[13:55] <+Semi-Nomadic> You brighten up this dark conversation with your arrival, Slime.
[13:55] <+Glass> And? Was it fantastic?
[13:55] <+Glass> Indeed.
[13:55] <+Slime_> Yes super yummy
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01[13:56] <+Semi-Nomadic> Have you seen any places in Germany you liked?
06[13:56] * +Glass drools
[13:56] <+Slime_> And I know what it tastes so Clint and tulpa force it
[13:56] <+Slime_> Yes there are big buildings
[13:56] <+Layl_> Oh boy chocolate, I sure wish I had some chocolate ice right now
[13:57] <+Glass> What is chocolate ice?
[13:57] <+Slime_> What is chocolate ice
[13:57] <+Glass> Cream, you mean?
[13:57] <+Slime_> It sounds yummy
[13:57] <+Glass> It...kind of does!
[13:57] <+yolk> Chocolate ice sounds good
[13:58] <+yolk> What about.... Vanilla ice
[13:58] <+Glass> Bum Dum Tiss
[13:58] <+Layl_> I fuckign hat vanilla
[13:58] <+Layl_> *hate
[13:58] <+yolk> Whattt
[13:58] <+Glass> Whattttttt
[13:58] <+yolk> It's my favorite :(
01[13:58] <+Semi-Nomadic> I like to enjoy a vanilla milkshake in the hot afternoons.
[13:59] <+Slime_> I am going to go now we are going to go from the food shop
[13:59] <+Slime_> Byr
[13:59] <+Glass> Bye!
[13:59] <+Slime_> Bye bye
02[13:59] * +Slime_ (~AndChat51@banging.lolis.over.the.table) Quit
[14:00] <+yolk> Yawn yawn
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[14:02] <+yolk> What is up glass
[14:02] <+Hush> Morning All!
[14:02] <+yolk> Hi
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[14:02] <+Hush> Did I miss anything big last night?
[14:02] <+Glass> Nothing much.
[14:03] <+Layl_> NO INDEED.
[14:03] <+Layl_> NOTHING MUCH.
[14:03] <+Jakob_> Hello
[14:03] <+Layl_> NOPE.
[14:03] <+Layl_> NOTHING GOING ON HERE.
[14:03] <+Layl_> JUST BORING STUFF.
[14:03] <+Jakob_> I think you shouldn't worry
[14:03] <+Hush> Well I still haven't had as productive a night as the one 3 nights ago.
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[14:04] <+Hush> Despite my distraction not being there last night xP
[14:04] <+yolk> Hi layl
[14:04] <+Nikodemos> Hey
[14:04] <+yolk> Hi
[14:04] <+Layl_> Hi...
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[14:05] <+yolk> What's wrong
[14:05] <+Nikodemos> How are things?
[14:05] <+yolk> I'm ok
[14:05] <+Hush> I think she might be scared... I have terrible thoughts from time to time, ones I would never ever act on, but she's in my head and must hear every one of them...
[14:05] <+Layl_> everything is fucking wrong
[14:05] <+Jakob_> Great
[14:05] <+Glass> How's Hex doing, Hush?
[14:05] <+yolk> :(
[14:05] <+Layl_> Now I gotta take care of poor Nanami
[14:06] <+Layl_> How will I even explain this to axalto's parents
[14:06] <+Glass> Oh, I didn't see that.
[14:06] <+Nikodemos> What happened Layl? :\(
[14:06] <+Nikodemos> *:(
[14:06] <+Glass> Well, technically, you don't have to.
[14:06] <+wolfspy> Boy am I tired...
[14:06] <+Glass> Nikodemos, her creator dissipated himself
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[14:07] <+Sorryman54> Hello~
[14:07] <+Glass> Like I said, thoughts like that won't help. You can still get him back.
[14:07] <+Glass> Hello
[14:07] <+Jakob_> Hello, Sorryman54
[14:07] <+Hush> Wait... Axalto is gone
[14:07] <+Hush> ?
[14:07] <+Glass> For the time, yes.
[14:07] <+Sorryman54> Layl is Tesseract V2..
[14:07] <+Layl_> IF HE ISNT REALLY DEAD I WILL KILL HIM MYSELF
[14:08] <+Layl_> THE FUCKER
[14:08] <+Glass> Yes!
[14:08] <+Glass> That's good. Use that,.
06[14:08] * +Layl_ glare st Glass
[14:08] <+Layl_> *glares
[14:08] <+Layl_> *at
[14:08] <+Glass> I'm serious.
[14:08] <+Sorryman54> Yeah. You can bring him back.
[14:08] <+Sorryman54> Use those thoughts.
[14:09] <+Glass> I usually don't condone anger, but this seems apporpriate.
[14:09] <+Sorryman54> ^exactlu
[14:09] <+Hush> Not to sound too caloused, but this does satiate some of my curiosity as to whether it really is possible for a tulpa to simply take the place of the host via disapation
[14:09] <+Sorryman54> Exactly*
[14:09] <+Sorryman54> It is
[14:09] <+wolfspy> Bye
[14:09] <+Glass> Hush, yes, it's possible. And no, you shouldn't do it.
03[14:09] * wolfspy is now known as wolfspy|school
[14:09] <+Sorryman54> Tess did it, though not by dissipation.
[14:09] <+yolk> Layl_ I hope you feel better
[14:10] <+Layl_> HOW THE FUCK WOULD I FEEL BETTER
[14:10] <+Hush> I wouldn't do it myself, not for any forseeable reason anyway.
[14:10] <+Sorryman54> Calm down. He'll be fine.
[14:10] <+Hush> The option being there is nice to know though
[14:10] <+Layl_> HOW THE HELL CAN HE BE FINE
[14:10] <+Glass> No, it isn't nice.
[14:10] <+Sorryman54> He'll come back. Just calm down..
[14:10] <+yolk> You're making me upset :(
[14:11] <+Layl_> OH BOO FUCKIGN HOOO
[14:11] <+Glass> If you really want to give up your body to your tulpa, just switch permanently. Dissipation is unnecessary.
[14:11] <+Sorryman54> Stop it, Layl.
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