Title:           Soarin vs. Anons parents/Anon vs. Soarins Parents by Scotty
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/vYgZC38L
First Edit:      Tuesday 26th of January 2016 12:40:28 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 26th of January 2016 12:40:28 PM CDT

>You wake up slowly, the morning sun streaming through the window
>You roll over and come face-to-face with a smiling blue pegasus
“Morning, Soarin.”
>”Morning, Anon.”
>He plants a kiss on your nose and you kiss him back on his muzzle
>”Ready for a day off?”
“I've been waiting the whole week for this.”
>Ever since Soarin stumbled into Earth a few months ago, he's been a celebrity
>Scientists worldwide are trying to reopen the portal that brought him here
>You're the one that found him freezing on a park bench in the middle of the night
>With the money he made from various public appearances and interviews, you're practically millionaires
>The two of you bought a small house together and are living comfortably
>And, finally, the two of you have a day off together
>Your phone vibrates on the nightstand
>You pick it up and read the message
>Immediately, you sigh and flop down on the bed
>”Anon? What's wrong?”
>You show him the message
>It's from your mother
>”I can't wait to see your new house! I'll be over at 6:30 with your father!”
>Soarin looks up at you and smiles
>”This is great! I'm finally gonna meet your parents!”
“There's just one problem. They're a bit on the conservative side.”
>”Conservative?”
“Remember those old guys who said you were the spawn of Satan and tried to get you kicked out of the country?”
>”Yeah?”
“Them.”
“Well, not that extreme. But they certainly don't approve of gay relationships, let alone inter species with an alien.”
>”An attractive alien.”
“A gorgeous alien. But I never told them I was gay, and I never told them I was with you. All they know is that I got a new house.”
>”So how long do we have to prepare?”
“You mean to flee the country? I'm sure we could make it across the border by the evening.”
>”No, silly, to prepare to tell your parents that you're dating a stallion. And the sexiest stallion of them all, too.”
“I'm sure you are.” You give him another kiss. “But we can't change over fifty years of opinions on one night. You're gonna have to be ready for anything.”
>He smiled and stared up at the ceiling
>”You know, in Equestria, everypony loves and tolerates. Ponies care for each other, and stallions can love stallions without any problems.”
>You wrap an arm around him
“You know, any day now they're going to open that portal again, and we're going to be the first ones through. And I'll get to meet your family. But for now, my parents are going to get to meet Earth’s only Equestrian, and they're going to have to deal with it.”
>He grabs you and pulls you into a kiss
>”That's the spirit, Anon!”
>You sigh as you hear the doorbell
>Soarin ducks upstairs like you had planned
>You open the door and your parents are standing on the front porch.
>”Oh, Anon, it's so nice to see you again! It's been so lonely with just the two of us.”
“It was pretty quiet here, too.” Until Soarin showed up.
>”Oh, and you finally bought a house! You know, your husband and I bought a house when we were about your age.”
>”Well, what I want to know is why you didn't move out of that cramped apartment years ago!”
“Ha, yeah, Dad. You know how it is. Money's tight. But that doesn't matter, does it? Come in, come in. It's nice and warm in here.”
>Your parents sit down in the living room
>They look around at the decorations
>Ten thousand dollars of Soarin’s earnings went a long way
>Your father breaks the silence
>”So who's the lucky lady?”
“I'm sorry, what?”
>”Who is she? This house is much too big and much too nice for just one person.”
“Uh, that's actually something I wanted to talk to you about.”
>Your mother claps her hands and grins
>”Oh, I knew it! You're getting married!”
“Not yet, Mom. But we're, uh, getting there.”
>”Well, we're waiting, Anon. Your father and I want some grandkids.”
“Ha, yeah. That would be nice.”
>Your mother straightens up
>”So did you hear about that pony that everyone's talking about? Quite a celebrity.”
>”Linda, that horse is anything but a celebrity. It is a freak and should never have gotten that much attention from the media.”
>This is going the end in disaster
>Your father keeps going on his rant
>”It's insane! We're pouring millions of taxpayer dollars to open a gosh-darned magical portal to another dimension.”
>”It is pretty crazy, Frank.”
>”And they want to call it an ambassador to another planet. It's all nonsense, Anon. Nonsense.”
“Uh, yeah. Nonsense.”
>He throws his hands into the air
>”It's all the president’s fault. First he tries to pass Obamacare behind all of our backs, then he lets the gays marry, and now this. I can't wait until we put an honest Republican into office. And, honestly, Linda, I don't understand why this horse is getting so much attention. It could have been some lowlife before a portal opened and the world started obsessing over an alien! It doesn't deserve our attention or our money. As soon as my taxes are done being wasted on creating a magic, I'll throw that horse through myself!”
“That's enough!”
>Your eye is twitching and you're fuming
“I'm not going to let you say any of that. Do you know Soarin?”
>”I know that he's a waste of the media’s attention.”
“But do you know him as a person? Or a pony, or whatever? Do you know his favorite color or his favorite movie? Do you know how afraid he was when he realized he was trapped here? Or are you just making up shit?”
>Your mother looks up at you
>”Anon, what's gotten into you?”
“Soarin is the pony I moved in with. We've been in love since the moment we met, and it's been the best three months of my life. And I'm not going to let you say that about him, Dad.”
>Your parents stare at you for a moment
>You sigh and sit down
“I'm sorry. Just upset, that's all.”
>Your mom is the first to speak
>”Son, you're- you're in love with a horse?”
“A pony, yeah.”
>”And you're gay?”
“Yeah.”
>”Well, then I guess your sister’s gonna have to give us some grandkids then.”
>You call up the stairs
“Soarin, you can come down now.”
>”Coming!”
>He flies down the stairs and comes to a stop next to you
>Your mother starts to coo over him
>”Look at him, Frank, he's so adorable!”
>”Our son is dating a horse.”
>”I don't look like any horses from around here. And I can talk.”
>He sighs and extends a hand out
>”The name’s Frank.”
>Soarin puts his hoof in your dad’s palm, and they awkwardly shake hands
>”Soarin.”
>”And I'm his mother, Linda.”
>Soarin sticks his hoof out, but your mother grabs him
>”We're huggers around here, Soarin.”
>”I- can't- breathe-”
“Mom? I think you're hurting him.”
>She lets him go and laughs
>”He's so sweet, Frank.”
>”Yeah. Sweet.”
>The oven dings and you jump up
“Food’s ready!”
>You get the hell out of the room and take a tray full of steaming hot lasagna out of the oven
>You take it out to the small dining room and set it on the table, along with a few glasses of wine
>After everything looks good, you go back into the living room
>Immediately you can tell that something is wrong
>Your mom is pampering Soarin
>Apparently she found out that he likes to be scratched behind the ears
>Your father is sitting in a chair alone grumbling about how his son’s boyfriend was an animal
“Uh, dinner’s ready. It's nothing special, just lasagna. No meat, though.”
>”Oh, that's fine, dear.”
>Your mother hops up and sits right next to Soarin
>Your father grumbles his way up and into a dining chair
>Dinner was quiet
>Mostly
>Soarin told stories about Equestria and his family
>Your mother loved them, but your father wasn't as interested
>”A city made of clouds? I don't believe it.”
>”Frank!” Your mother hissed
>”Dear, I'm sorry, but I can't sit here and listen to these fake stories about a magical world. I think the game’s on, and I'm going to watch that. You know, something that humans do.”
>He got up and went into the living room
>You heard the TV click on and your mother sighed
>”I'm sorry, Soarin. Anon’s father can be a little closed-minded sometimes. I was a little surprised, too, but I guess we just react in different ways.”
“It's alright, Mom. I'm sure he'll be fine.”
>”So, uh, Linda, what teams are playing right now?”
>”Well, I think it's the Packers and the Cardinals. Football.”
>”And he's rooting for the Packers?”
>”Absolutely!”
>”I'll be right back.”
>He got up and walked in the living room
>You smiled as you realized what he's doing
>You're now Soarin
>And you're about to make amends with Anon’s dad
>You jump up on the couch and look at the game
>It's pretty confusing, but you think you know how to follow it
>Anon's father looks over at you
>”You a fan of football?”
“Yeah. I watched a few games with Anon and got hooked.”
>”Which team are you rooting for?”
“Packers, of course.”
>He smiled
>”Maybe you're not so bad after all.”
“Guess not.”
>You watched the game in silence for a few minutes
>”So what happened to bring you here?”
“I flew into a portal that popped up right in front of me. Couldn't turn away or pull up, that's how close it was. I flew straight into a tree in a park downtown, where I was lucky enough to find Anon walking home. He helped me get back on my hooves and adjust to Earth.”
>”So those wings of yours work?”
“Do they! I was part of the Wonderbolts. We were Equestria’s best flyers, and we performed all over the country.”
>You smiled
>You remembered the lights, the ponies, the wind whipping through your mane
“I'd give it all up for Anon, though.”
>He smiled
>”You must really love him.”
“I do. Your son is one of the greatest people on this planet. You raised him well.”
>”Maybe you're not so bad after all.”
>You're Anon again
>Much to your surprise, your parents leave smiling
>You didn't expect your dad to warm up to Soarin so fast
>Guess he just had to get to know him
>You shut the door and wipe the sweat off your forehead
>”Your parents were great, Anon.”
“Glad to hear it. I wasn't expecting that, that's for sure.”
>He brushes up against your leg
>”So what do you have planned for the rest of the night?”
>You scoop him up and give him a long, deep kiss
“I hope you don't plan on getting any sleep tonight.”
>Soarin kisses you, and the two of you head upstairs as your parents drive away
 
>It's been six months since your parents first met Soarin
>Even your father is friends with him now, and they come over weekly
>But you're not on Earth right now
>Two weeks ago, the first portal to Equestria came online in downtown Chicago
>Before it, though, there were a lot of hoops to jump through
>Specifically, trying to make sure people don't treat ponies as animals
>Some places in Indiana have even refused to sell ponies pizza
>But it was still clear that they were in the minority and most looked forward to meeting sentient ponies
>On its first day open, eight million humans and six hundred thousand ponies traveled through it
>Plans for portals in New York and Los Angeles are being discussed
>The world is slowly ramping up production to export to Equestria and pony-sized smartphones, cars, and computers are rumored to be in the works
>But right now, you're just focused on packing
>You have two tickets for the Chicago portal tomorrow
>Soarin was thrilled when the portal first opened
>He's been anxious to show you his home planet
>"Now you can see Equestria, Anon! You'll love it! And-And you can see Cloudsdale, and meet the Wonderbolts, and we can visit my parents, too! Aren't you excited, Anon?"
>It's adorable, and most of the time you can silence him with a kiss
>Soarin's been paid to advertise the portal system, and whenever he's not out, you're spending time together
>You really can't get enough of that stallion
>The two of you don't pack much for your trip, even though you'll be staying in Equestria for a while
>When the portal was ready, you had to ask Soarin something difficult
"When the portal opens, are you going to go back to Equestria or stay here on Earth?"
>"Anon, I'm going wherever you go. I had friends in Equestria, but nopony there can compare to you."
>"Besides, it's not like we won't be visiting them."
>You really don't know what you did to deserve Soarin
>Depending on which way the Supreme Court goes on interspecies marriage, you might even marry him
 
>The next day, you drive up to the crowded parking lot
>$15 for one day of parking
>Looks like even a portal to another planet isn't safe from expensive parking
>A line of protesters are picketing outside the building carrying signs
Horses are not humans!
Talking horses are abominations!
Don't let them come to our planet!
Build a wall and make Equestria pay for it!
>The two of you move through the revolving doors of the terminal and are met with chaos
>The room is filled with humans, ponies, and even a few griffins
>A few ponies notice Soarin and ask for an autograph
>He told you a lot about the Wonderbolts, but you didn't think he would be this famous
>Some humans notice him too, but for different reasons
>You look around and walk towards a long line leading towards a row of metal detectors
>Mother fucking TSA
>Soarin barely notices your frustration
>He fidgets in place as you get closer to the checkpoint
>"Anon, I'm so excited! I can't wait to see Equestria again!"
>You smile and scratch his mane
>You finally make it to the portal
>It's a large, thirty foot tall brass horseshoe with pink, shimmering magic in the center of it
>On the left, ponies arrive on Earth and are ushered to one side of the vast room
>On the right, a line of humans moves through the portal
>You stand in the line, and it moves fairly quickly
>It comes close to being your turn, and a man standing at a small table looks up at you
>"Tickets?"
>You hand him your two tickets and he scans them quickly
>"Passports?"
>You take your passport out and hand it to him, along with Soarin's
>He stamps them and hands them back to you
>You give Soarin a small pat and step through the portal
>You appear in a bright, sunlit room
>It looks almost Greek, with its tall ceiling and large columns
>It's completely open to the outside, too, and a vivid green park sits beyond the building
>A pony wearing a red cap walks up to you
>"Hi! My name's Sunny Skies and I'm here to help you. Is this your first time through the portal?"
>You cough, still a bit disoriented
"Y-Yeah."
>Soarin walks up next to you and smiles
>"We're here, Anon!"
>Sunny Skies' eyes widen when she sees Soarin
>"You-You're Soarin?"
>"Yeah."
>She quickly composes herself
>"Well, I trust that you know your way around Canterlot. If you keep going out of the building, there should be some accommodations for the two of you. Oh! I've been told to let you know to see the Princess as soon as you can."
>"Uh, alright. Thank you."
>"No problem! Enjoy your stay!"
>Soarin turns back to you
>"What do you think?"
"It's very bright. Like a cartoon."
>"Well, come on! There's a lot to see and not much time to see it."
"Soarin, we have two weeks."
>"That's not enough to show you an entire country!"
"Can we at least stay the night here? That portal took a lot out of me. I already made reservations for a hotel room."
>"Yeah! We can relax, I'll take you to one of my favorite restaurants, and then, after some sleep, I can show you Canterlot!"
"Who said anything about sleeping?"
>Soarin turns bright red
>He's so adorable
>You walk through the grassy park on your way to the hotels
>A large cobblestone path is packed with ponies and humans alike
>Soarin is back to being excited and keeps flying up to look for something
>You exit the park, cross the street, and look around for any familiar signs
>Looks like no Earth businesses have made their way here yet
>You find the place you made reservations for
>That was a nightmare
>The building is six floors tall and looks almost French
>A sign reads "Canterlot Plaza Hotel"
>You walk in with Soarin in tow
>The lobby looks like a mix of a modern Earth hotel and the late 1800s
>Clean, but also elegant
>You approach the desk and a blue unicorn mare greets you
>"Welcome to the Canterlot Plaza Hotel! Do you have reservations?"
"Yeah. Look under 'Anon'."
>She thumbs through the ledger with her magic
>You weren't expecting that, even though Soarin told you there were unicorns
>"Yep! I have a reservation under 'Anon' for one night."
"That would be me."
>"Great!"
>She hands you a key
>"You'll be in room 313. The staircase is to your right. There's a bank just down the street where you can exchange your currency to bits, too."
>You look over and, sure enough, a small staircase led to the upper floors
"Thank you. Come on, Soarin, let's go."
>He looks up and trots over to the staircase
>You walk up the two flights of stairs while Soarin flies up them
>You find room 313 and open the door
>It's an elegant room, with wainscoting and white plaster walls
>The room has a small desk, end table, wardrobe, and chair
>A door leads to an old-fashioned bathroom with a claw-footed tub and an old-timey toilet
>The bed looks a little small, but you don't mind sleeping close to Soarin
>You put your suitcase against the wall and flop down on the bed
>It's soft and comfortable
"Soarin, what time is it?"
>"Half past three, Canterlot time."
"So we have time to kill before we go get food."
>"Want me to go downstairs and make reservations?"
"Sure."
>"I'll be right back."
>You toss him the key and he walks out of the room
>You check your phone
>No bars in Equestria yet
>But from what Soarin has told you, you'll be busy for the whole time
>You stand up and look out the window
>Past the park and the portal building are more Parisian buildings
>Then, past that, nothing
>No hills or anything
>Are you on the side of a mountain or something?
>The door opens and Soarin walks in
>"Alright, I've made reservations for six. We've got some time."
>He jumps up on the bed and curls up next to you
>You give him a small kiss on the nose
>He leans closer to you and gives you another kiss
"I think I've found something to do before we go out."
>At exactly six in the evening, Soarin stops in front of a narrow brick building with the same elegant, French air to it as the other buildings in Canterlot
>You're both cleaned up, and you're wearing a button-down shirt and dress pants
>Not the fanciest, but you didn't bring your whole closet
>You open the door for Soarin and step in
>The place is packed
>The whole room smells like warm, fresh food
>A white unicorn leads you to a small table and you sit down with Soarin across from you
>You give him a smile and look around
"This is the place? Seems a bit fancy for you."
>"Trust me, the food is worth it. After a good show at the stadium, all of us would come down here for dinner and then go to the bar across the street. It was great."
>"You know, I wonder if someone's replaced me by now. Probably Rainbow Dash. I wonder where Spitfire thought I had gone. Did she think I died?"
>He looks down at the menu, and you follow suit
>The food is almost all French or Italian
>You scan the menu, and a few things catch your eye
"Maybe we should go and see her, then."
>"That sounds nice. She'll want to meet you, too. You know, she was the first pony I told when I figured out I liked stallions more than mares. She was pretty much my best friend."
"Then we've got to see her."
>"When we get to Cloudsdale, we can stop by her place."
"Works for me."
>The waiter walks over and you order your food
>You and Soarin talk about your plans for your Equestrian vacation
>He wants to show you everything from Baltimare to Las Pegasus
>And, of course, to see his parents
>Your food was more delicious than anything you've ever had on Earth
>You eat quickly, and Soarin laughs
>"See why I brought you here? Earth food is bland compared to what we have here."
>When the meal is over, Soarin places a small bag of bits on the table and you head back to the hotel
>You wake up next to Soarin
>He's still asleep, and snoring softly
>Your clothes are scattered on the floor around you, and you're wrapped around the pegasus in a tight hug
>He buries his muzzle into your chest and sighs in his sleep
>He's too cute to move, so you hold him tightly until he wakes up
>His green eyes flutter open and he looks up at you
"Sleep well?"
>He nods and kisses your chest
>You give him a pat on the head and scratch his ears
>His tail starts to wag beneath the sheets and he looks up at you again
>"What time is it, Anon?"
>You look over to the clock at the table
"Half past eight."
>He shoots up
>"The train leaves at nine! Come on, Anon, we need to go."
"Can I at least shower first?"
>He hops off the bed and starts putting your discarded clothes in the suitcase
>"No! There's no time."
"I think you need a shower, Soarin."
>"Why?"
"Because you're leaking."
>He looks back at you and you grin
>Soarin huffs and canters into the bathroom
"Hang on! I night as well shower with you."
>You run through the city with Soarin flying overhead
>Somehow, you make it to the station in time
>Soarin hoofs over a few bits and gets two train tickets
>The train is small and cartoony, but it looks solid enough
>You drag your suitcase inside and sit down with Soarin
>The conductor rakes your tickets and the train pulls away
>You move out of the town and, suddenly, the whole world pulls away from you
>You move as far away from the window as possible
>Soarin looks over at you
>"What's wrong? Oh! Canterlot is built on the side of this mountain. It literally sticks out over the side."
"And you didn't think to tell me that earlier?"
>"Well, it's perfectly safe. It's held up by magic."
"I'll take your word for it."
>You slide back towards the window as the train enters a tunnel
"So where are we headed?"
>"Well, Princess Celestia is in Ponyville right now, so we're headed there."
"You've got this all planned out, don't you?"
>"Yep! And from there, we'll go to Cloudsdale, where you can meet my family."
"I can't wait."
>You pull him closer to you as you wait to get to Ponyville
>Wherever that was
>The train pulls into a small train station
>The two of you hop out and you drag your suitcase out onto the platform
"So is there a hotel nearby?"
>"I found us a place to stay."
"You stepped out of the room for five minutes."
>"I can get stuff done quickly! We'll be staying at Princess Twilight's castle, which is where Celestia is staying, too."
"A castle, huh?"
>"Yeah."
"I've always wanted to fuck in a castle."
>"Yea- Wait, huh?"
"Just messing with you."
>Two pegasi wearing golden armor walk up to you
>"Are you two Anon and Soarin?"
>"That would be us."
>"Follow us."
>They walked off the platform, and you followed them
>The town looks almost medieval
>The houses have thatch roofs and the roads are paved with stones
>But ahead of you sits a giant crystal castle
>The guards open the doors and the two of you walk in