Title: Princess Autistia Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/QRt0LNMg First Edit: Monday 11th of February 2013 03:41:32 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 11th of February 2013 03:41:32 PM CDT   Hey /mlp/, this is my OC. Her name is Autistia and she is an alicorn princess. She was an alicorn before the other alicorns so she was FIRST. She is also better than them.   She is always butthurt all the time at all the percieved faggotry, so the constant clenching of her sphincter has exercised her anal muscles over thousands of years, resulting in the perfect sexual orifice.   She can only communicate in snide, self righteous, pretentious shitspeech, and she should do because she is better than everyone else.   What do you guys think best character ever right?   She hangs around heckling people for their work with no constructive input. She gets agitated at the slightest mistake, and has to shove Pone merch up her ass in rage.   Autistia hates everyone and everything, with such a passion that she has never knowingly had sexual relations. The only people to ever have succeeded in doing so and lived (she magics everything she dislikes within a 100m radius and never sleeps) have simply printed off random threads from /mlp/ and held them up in front of her face on a stick, while fucking her from behind. This has the combined advantage of both distracting her, and causing her sphincter to loosen and tighten vigorously as she reads.   The only sexual release she gets is from reading her own Clopfiction, and no one elses, because only she can write decent clop fiction obviously. Despite her frequent spelling/grammatical error, run on sentences, no character development just dropping pones in and making them fuck and with poor descriptive work at that, she believes her work to be superior to all other mlpfic, even straight fic, and will violently spout this opinion at every opportunity. Comments sections, /mlp/, and even other pone sites which she vehemently denies going to despite it being quite obvious when she copies thread ideas/imgs/posts posted on ponychan etc that same day.   Her keyboard is literally caked in dried semen and cheetos dust. Only the rage filled hammering of her hooves can force the keys down hard enough for her to in all caps (she has forgotten what the caps lock key even does) regularly spout abuse and flawed critique which are inherently flawed when she so obviously herself embodies the very problems she complains about.   Her dick is a chode, and resembles an apricot glued to a torso. She can only achieve sexual gratification by inflicting severe self harm via beating herself or smashing her hooves into her crotch. The levels of rage she can achieve during this time are unquantifiable, and it is usually whilst in the midst of crotch-mashing she will hoof-smash-type with her free hoof and post.   She views all other forms of life as inferior to her inherent genetic superiority and considers herself the master race of /mlp/ when many would much rather have her and others like her processed through camps.   As mentioned, she never sleeps, and cannot sleep, indeed she cannot rest whilst she percieves there to be other people who are wrong on the internet. This is in fact a delusion she has created for herself, and is indeed a cover for how she simply despises herself and what she has become, and when she sees others enjoying themselves it awakens a primal fear and regret within her, but she can only futilely smash her crusty keyboard with butthurt rage at the sight of other people "having fun" when due to her own autistic faggotry it is impossible for her to ever do so.   Truly, she is a tragic character and I rate her 10/10 better than your OC. I ask for your opinions of my OC but dont actually care and will flame you if you do anything but agree with my heavily biased opinions.   Adventurs in Ekwestria by Prinsess Autistria   Chapter 1:   -- Foreword --   I have been a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magc for longer than most of you reading this. Actually I was one of the frst people askd to be a trial viewer in a focus group for the show and I was the firs tone of those to be asked They let me sit in the booth whil they showed it instead f just obvserving me because they wants my opinion on th show at th same time I told them that what they had so far ws good but they needed to do alot f wortk bedore it would be redy and I gaev them alot of feedback and aftr we went out fr some Stabux Cahfee and discussd the show for about seven hours before I came home and the started makin the changes I told themto and lot of those can be seen in the show like at first they were only going t have Twilgt sparkle and Rarety in th show and Rainbw dash would b a bit character but I told them it nseded to have more varety to appeal to wider group ausdiences. So ig uess you could say Rainbow Dahs was my idea   **EDIT** Peopl need to stop messagging me telling me they took lot of ideas from the orignal show ALLOFIT WASSM Y IDEA AND THEY LOVED ME   ---   Chapter 1: Part 1 - New Begininngs   ...   Chapter 1: Part 1 - New Begininngs   -- Forewodr 00   In this first part of thefirst chapter i am seeking to explore the ideas of the characters which wer my idea to begin with and take them in a difrent direction than I decided to with th show I helped create. I want to explor the characters on a more intimate level than the show has ben abl to do because of the young audience which is RUININGF OUR FANDOM AND LAUREN FAUST SHOULD JUST ACCEPT ITS FOR OLDR MOR MATURE PELPOL NOW ----   Our story begins on a calm evening in Ponyvile.   Twilight Sparkle has researching books in her library in her houes for a few hours before she heard a knock at her windw. She lookd up a littl concerned who could it be at this time of nite?" she wondrd   She got up and felt her larg brests swing pendulusly on her chest. As she clopsd to the window she lifted her candl to look outsid but could only see hr reflection.   Then she gaspd as she realisd it wasnt hurr reflecstun but her floting outside with wings!??   She fell backsward off her bed and hurt her back a ltitle her tits were jiggling alot and her plot was laying open for anyon to see between her opn legs.   "Hey twilit is me twilit i need u help" twilit said   "this dosent make sany ense twilit said   "im yu form the future yu becom an alicorn i need yor help to save ponevil   Ponevill wasn in danger thot twilitgt but then she realisd this was in the futur and that twiight myst know somthin that was going to hapen otherwise how could she hav wings   Twilight and alcorn twiligth came in the window but not "came" that was for later   Twilight admired alcorn twilight s wings and her crwn ad said she liekd it   "Twilgit yu are so beautful she said and kissed twiligths wings sofrly.   Acicrn twilgit sayd she liked that and moned.   Twsilght kissed her on her plot and then they sexed but alcorn twilght said "There is no time for this now, Twilight! We must make haste to the Crystal Portal while we still can!" Lord Canshe shouted an they both came   Wehn alicorn twilight came it made twilight came and when she came it made alictorn twilight caem again even harder   eventually they both came and started farting   spike had been int he corner this whole time and his small dragon dick was hard from the site of two twilights and them sexing each other. when he saw alictorn twilight he has been amazed but not said anthhing as they started kissing on eachtothers plots.   he got cloer and closer sneaking around the booksshelves and soon he was inches away from alcorn twilights plot and twilights motuh and as alcorn twilight came and was faritng it went in spikes face and he grind   twilight sparkel was toobusy sniffing alcorn twilights farts and eating her plot to notice spike was jerking his dragn dick to the sight of this and was was amking his dick hard and moning but couldnt be herd over the other wto moning   suddenly alcorn stopd and said they had to go and asked twilight to grab her reer hoovs and started to fly and as she flapd wings she farted and it went in twilights face asnd smelling the farts made twilight came and farst   and thwen spike grabbed her tail he wanted to come with he couldnt let twilight go alone she mite need him and he lovd her secretly   so when twilight came she starting farted to and it went in spikes face   as they were flying and farting in a chain a chain of farting after alicron twilight made a particularly big fart her ass cheeks spread open and became a portal to anoterh dimentsion   her ass begcame so big it sucked twiligth inside it and she smelt alcorn twilights ass as she slid inside it and spike came with her she fatred in his face one last time before the potral closed and they were gone.   -- Afterword --   I feel in this piece ive explroedthe intentinos and aspects of the characters of both Twilsight and spike and what theyre bnoth capable of, especially hte possibkilituies of Alicorn twilight the idea i proposed to them years ago befpore they even really made the show but they still had an episode made for me to see depsirte the show not being mad eyet wjhen i stldld mthem.   Ive rexieved alot of haetmail for my work but htats the lot of the genius writer to be ridiculaed and not undertood until years atfer theirt death so oh well i guess thefaggots mailing me just dont fcuking understand what food writing is and cn't see what im trying to do witht he characters I AMNOT RUINING YOUR SHOW THE SHOW IS ALREDY RUINDED BY YOU IM WRITING MY EPIC FANTSY   You fagots all nedd to get a life and relise wat good writng is my owkr is perfect better than 95% of the crap online probly better than that even. I have to go skype call my frend snapesnogger she wants to talk about Harrp potter i hope you enjoyd this part 1 part 2 will be coming as soon as its done you cant rush geinus haahahah!   ---   When not discussing, flaming, crotch-mashing to, screaming until spittle flecks her screen and she has to wipe it away, in turn making marks in the thin, permeable dusting of cheetos dust covering it, or generally just being Autistia, she answers her abundant fan-mail in a calm and level headed manner.   Even her crusty soul brightens, however, when she recieves a letter from her favourite student. Her favourite student to abuse that is. She constantly undermines, overly-criticizes and verbally knocks down her only regular correspondent and potential friend, Twollit Sprokle.   Twollit sparkler believes she can see through the haze of Autistic rage, semen and cheetos dust that surrounds Autistia, and behind that see a genuinely enlightened soul. No matter how she treats her, Twollit always goes back for more, sending her her work to get her opinion, sending her praise on what little there is to praise, doing anything she can to win the favour of her antisocial sociopathic idol.   Twollit Sprokle's work has gotten worse and worse, as she constantly tries to work on the advice given to her by Autistia, and following in her footsteps, taking inspiration from her work and such.   She has begun eating only cheetos and has become addicted to self harm, trying to copy and idolize Autistia, but she gains no satisfaction from it. Her constant bullying and harassment of the only mare to ever try to befriend her has led to truly believe she is worthless and constantly talks down to herself, whispering and muttering "useless" and "stupid" over and over when she isn't desperately trying to garner some attention or praise from Autistia.   Autistia revels in the fact that she has someone to always criticize, hurt, abuse, and bully as she sees fit. She manipulates her mercilessly, lifting her up with hints of praise, only to dash them aside swiftly and violently with deep, undercutting abuse and criticism. But Sprokle always comes back for more, constantly feeding and stroking Autistia's bulging, infected scrotal ego, a self reciprocating cycle of abuse which Autistia feeds upon and which has given her more than a few nights of rage-crotch-bashing orgasms as she sends seething criticisms of even the smallest of tasks Twollit performs, further reducing her already pitiful feelings of self worth and confidence.   Autistia makes an effort to attend every possible appearance, every convention, every single outlet for anything to do with MLP:FIM, so as to be able to surround herself with people to exert her caustic personality (and scent) upon.   She will pick her most sarcastic fan-gear, and adorn herself with it. Due to the limits in size of such gear she has been kicked out of many of these events for being improperly dressed. Those she has been able to enter she is never welcome at for long. In Q&A sessions her questions are never shorter than 3 parters, are as convoluted and insulting to the people giving the Q and A as possible.   If she recieves an answer she doesn't like, or is taking too long, or seems to be branching into a wider topic, she will actively interrupt the person answering with a very snide "Snnngghhrrr... EXCUUUSE ME...", trying to sound as offended as possible, as if trying to garner some support from the crowd despite the impossibility of anything like that ever happening.   She will try to enter into an argument with anyone possible, stalking conventions with a hunched back, breathing heavily with her teeth bared, searching back and forth with her eyes. She will interrupt, and make herself part of any conversation she sees taking place, interjecting with a topic of her choosing whether it is related or not. Some will try to ignore her, to which she will interject with an "EXCUSE ME I WAS SPEAKING". Whatever the response, it will initiate an argument from her. If it is a rational response to her question it will follow with something like "Well of COURSE someone would think that if they didnt KNOW about...", and if they just generally tell her to GTFO she will begin to rant and rave, tearing at her own clothing in frustration, revealing what little fur she had concealed before, inevitably leading to her either being ostracized, retreated from, or escorted out by security.   All of this feeds into her belief that she is just too "realistic" for the "fantastical" people at conventions, they're too wrapped up in their love for the show to see the "real problems", which obviously don't count her amongst their number.   She will go up to every stall. EVERY stall. She will be critical of everything on display, pointing out the slightest flaws existent or not, be they to do with design, quality, or even just personal preference. When staff get fed up of her and tell her to "buy something or gtfo" she rages and flips over their tables, spilling their merch everywhere, screaming that they HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO HER LIKE THAT SHE IS A CUSTOMER AND DESERVES BETTER THEY SHOULD KNOW THEIR PLACE.   She will hand out copies of her fanfiction (see above) to people of all ages and has been on several occasions arrested for trying to solicit minors. Anyone who actually reads it she will ask for their opinion, and immediately rage if it's anything but praise, which it has never been because they obviously don't see the true genius behind her work.   Anyone who touches or reads a copy of the work she is literally thrusting into the faces of passers-by who don't immediately praise it she tries to charge $14 for the work they have purchased but not given her the money for, and she has 3 lawyers in her family who will be more than willing to prosecute.   She sneers and glares at everyone who does not conform to her ideal of a FIM fan, basically everyone, sometimes in her head but usually verbally, and more often than not loud enough for people to hear, criticizing them for their appearance, dress, mannerisms, tone of voice, and above all age. Anyone not old enough for her to get away with abusing is too young for the fandom.   When she is kicked out of a convention or event, her first instinct is to immediately begin screaming, kicking and vandalizing everything in sight from cars to windows, and running away when security return or before someone can call the police. She will then go to the nearest fast food retailer and gorge herself on food, forcing the food into her throat so hard she chokes and painful tears stream down her face. She feels her gullet rise with anger over and over and chokes, flecks of food and phlegm spouting from her nostrils as she kicks the table and slams her hooves down on it, mashing her food up before throwing it at staff, then when the manager comes to talk to her demanding a refund for the unacceptable conditons of etc. etc.   She will inevitably wander around within eye sight of the convention, trying again and again to go near it. If she is unhindered, she will try to get back in, but is usually kicked out or stopped at the door almost immediately. She will scream and kick and spout abuse at everyone in sight, racial and sexual slurs mixing with unintelligble streams of curse words, demanding she be let in, that she has no idea why they wont, threatening to call the police.   When they call her bluff and say they will call the cops, she immediately says "FINE I DONT WANT TO COME IN ANYWAY" and leaves. She will inevitably mill around the outside of conventions, trying the same shit she was inside with anyone who looks remotely like they have been in/are going to the convention, arguing, shoving them some badly printed copies of her fanfic, and demanding to be paid for them.   Eventually she will make her way home to her parents house, and they ask her if she had fun. She will give them her usual response, that people were "mean to her" and that they "didn't want to listen to her". Her mother will sit her down and comfort her crying autistic child, reminding her that not everyone is ready to meet people as special as her.   She will drool snot and slobber all over her mothers shoulder before telling her to make her some cheetos and macaroni and cheese and she goes to her room and slams the door shut.   The cycle begins again, she checks her mail, her blog, her vlog comments, makes a new vlog, uploads it to her 5000 dislikes youtube channel, goes on her deviant art and flames there for a while, goes to ponychan, copies a thread and posts it on /mlp/, checks to see if Twollit has sent her any mail to respond to and abuse her.   (Hey gais you shud read my other story Fluttershy's Discovery it has alot of billlow-splay and stomac expanson I think it's my masterpec personalie]     Autistia can never play one game for long. Gaming is something she tries and fails at constantly, never able to spend more than maybe 10 minutes a day at most. She has spent approx £1200 on steam trying to find a new game she can play before having a shit fit the first time she dies/loses and kicking holes in everything in sight, biting her lip and going red in the face as spittle dripping and spraying from her teeth with every heaving frustrated pant. She has broken seventeen headsets as she rage quits every game she plays, screaming constant abuse at every single player friend or foe for percieved slights, not following her "commands", or for playing the game in any way other than the way she "instructs".   While multiplayer is simply impossible for her, she has been able to play some games to a certain extent. She can play Civilization 3 for days on end, until she is inevitably crushed by a german panzer rush. This extended build up, only to inevitably end in utter destruction, triggers in Autistia what some call "turbo autism". She will instead of becoming outwardly frustrated instead become deathly quiet, locking the door to her room for days. She will then proceed to beat herself, shove MLP merch violently into her quivering anus, smash her head into the steadily growing crater in her drywall, and just generally rage until eventually she will awaken from a deep butthurt induced coma, and head downstairs to get her mother to make her some macaroni and cheese.   Autistia is in many ways a purist, as you might have guessed. Other shows with a similar young adult to adult fanbase, while similar, are unacceptable in her eyes. Adventure time, Homestuck, etc, she cannot simply accept that they are seperate worlds for seperate people. She will constantly bring them up as topics, only to try to draw anyone she can into a conversation about them, before violently spouting her purist opinions. She can also become quite hypocritical at times.  "MLP IS SO MUCH EBTER THAN HTOSE SHOWS STO TALKING BOUT THEM FAGETS", she may exclaim in one thread, which she started where she baited people into talking about those shows in the first place, when she may spot another thread where people are giving MLP some praise, or the creative team some credit for making the show. "OMG LAUR N FAUST IS RUINING OUR SHOW ITS NT HER SHOW SHE CNT DO THIS T US THAT CUT NEDS TO LSITN TO HER DANS".   No matter what thread it is, at the slightest provocation (and usually with no provocation at all if there is no provocation however slight to be found) she will mash her crusty hooves against the keys in defiance of decency, to spout her opinions on anything and everything. In fact, its a small blessing when she manages to keep her opinions solely on the topic of MLP, as she will take any opportunity to broach her intentionally off-topic opinions wherever possible, whilst bearing a smug grin at being able to tell people the way things really should be, if only the world were as intelligent as her, and if it were, it would be listening to her. But it wouldnt have to. If the world were as intelligent as her, and everyone in the world was her, there would be no world problems, because she would be the perfect species, if only she could eliminate everyone and replace them with copies of her horiffically uncomfortable autistic self.