Title:           Pip......
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/HFtN9Y3X
First Edit:      Monday 25th of January 2016 07:23:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 25th of January 2016 07:23:06 PM CDT

>"Hey girls look!! It's dad!!"
>Be anon.
>Don't worry you are not reallytheirfather.
>You're just some random guy.
>Lately though all the children within Ponyville have all been doing the same shtick everyday when they are near you.
>Always saying, "Hi dad!", "Daddy's here!", or "I love you dad."
>It's been getting annoying lately.
>All these children just running up to you saying you're their father all of a sudden.
>You're not even old enough to be their dad.
>What's worse is that some of the adults are concerned about their children being around you.
>They probably think you're a pedophile or something.
>You really wish this shit would stop.
>You go towards your favorite diner.
>You need to eat something to get rid of this bad taste in your mouth.
>You need a good cup of coffee.
>Before you even order though, this little shit shows up.
>"Hi dad!"
>Shit!
>Not here too.
>"Can I order a dessert here?"
>You respond with silence.
>You're not paying for this kid's meal.
>Hell, you barely have enough to pay for two.
>You're favorite pink waiter then comes to your table.
>"Oh hey Nonny!", she exclaims, "What would you like to order?"
"Coffee......... black please."
>"And I would like the kid's breakfast meal.", the British spawn of Tirek replies.
"Shh! No! Unless you have money of your own, you are not ordering any food."
>"But dad, I thought you were going to pay for the both of us."
"For the last time! I am not your dad!"
>You think he would just leave like the others would.
>But nope...
>He does something completely different.
>He starts scrunching up his face.
>He is making some whimpering sounds.
>He's adding tears.
>"Why are you being so mean to me dad?"
>Shit, you weren't expecting this!
>"Life has been hard for me ever since you left mum."
>"I thought if we could hang out here, maybe you could come back to us..."
>"And maybe......"
>"M-maybe....."
>He then starts crying.
>Everybody starts staring at you.
>They're all making comments about you.
>"He's making his own son pay for his meals?"
>"How dare he not take the responsibility of being a father?!"
>"You are such a lousy father."
>You turn towards Pinkie.
"Pinkie help me out here!!"
>You then notice she starts crying.
>"Nonny.....", shs says in disbelief, "Why would you leave your wife and kid like that?"
>She then bawls her eyes out.
>That's it!!
>You had enough of this shit!!
>After paying for this kid's breakfast, you are going to find out why these kids are doing this to you.
>There better be a damn good explanation for all of this.
>You go the town hall.
>You go to the front desk of the mayor's office.
"Excuse me, I would like to see the birth certificate for all foals born within 13 years."
>The mayor just looks at you weirdly.
>"Why would you need those?"
"Because all these bastard children are calling me dad. I want to see if I can find their real father and kick their real bastard father's ass for not spending enough time with them."
>The mayor looks at you surprised.
>She then giggles to herself a bit.
>"Oh Celestia! We still do this?!"
"Huh?"
>"OK. So usually when there's a new anon in town, the foals usually gather around and play this prank on him and convince the whole town that he or she is their actual father or mother."
>"Oh those were the days."
>"Rarity, Pinkie, and I were the best actors out of the bunch with the last anon."
>"We were so convincing that even the anon thought he was our actual father."
"So what you mean to tell me.... is that I am part of some stupid prank?"
>"Oh come on anon, what's wrong with a little humor?"
"I bought stuff for these little shitheads because they kept harassing me!!"
>"Oh...... We never usually did that."
"Do you want to know how much noney I spent on these little fuckers?! A lot!! Around 500 bits worth!!"
>The mayor keeps listening to your experience from this 
"The worst part is the parents talking behind my back!! Always calling me like some sort of sick bastard because of all this shit!!"
>"I-I'm sorry Anon. I didn't think this would actually hurt your reputation and money."
"TOUGH SHIT! IT DOES!"
>"Don't worry about this anymore anon. I will close this prank later today."
"How soon can it be?"
>"Tomorrow maybe."
"As long as this shit finally ends."
>"Again, I am sorry for the huge inconvenience. I will make sure by tomorrow you will be child-free."
>You walk out of town hall knowing that it's all going to be over soon.
>No more children asking you for sweets and new toys or saying that they want to play with you.
>You will finally be free from that hell.
>As you walk home, you hear a familiar British accent.
>"Hi dad!"
>Notthisshitagain.jpg
>He runs up towards you.
>"Do you want to play pirates today dad?"
"No... Because after today, I am no longer anyone's father."
>He freezes.
>"So you and mum are going to sign the divorce papers?"
"I was never married to your mom!! I was never your dad to begin with!!"
>"But we had so much fun together dad."
>"We played pirates together, we read pirate stories, remember that one time we went to pirate themed restaurant together as a family?"
"No. You want to know why? Because I never did any of that pirate shit with you!"
>"But da-."
"No! I had it up to here with this stupid prank of your's!! Go bother someone else!!"
>You leave the annoying bastard alone as you continue to go back home....... wherever you lived here anyways.
 
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>Be Pip.
>You stare as your father leaves you again.
>He looks even angrier than what he did at the restaurant.
>You then recall the last words he said to you.
>Prank.
>What is he talking about?
>He is your father.....
>Right?
>You solemnly walk back home.
>You thought you could change your dad's mind and bring him back home.
>You don't remember much of your dad, but you were sure it was him that got you into pirates.
>Aside from those memories, you have no idea of who your dad really was.
>Mum never really kept any photos of him around.
>She seemed to have hated him.
>She always wanted to keep away from him being the subject.
>When she does talk about him though it's usually with other adults.
>She always rambled on and on about how he hrobably helped made half the children in Trottingham.
>That doesn't sound that bad.
>That means you would have more children to play with because of him.
>But ever since you left him in Trottingham you never really heard from him again.
>Try as you might, you never could remember who he was and what he looked like.
>You often ask your mum if you had any of his features.
>She would often say it Was mostly your gender and mane but that's about.
>You were always hoping that one day your father would come back to be with you and your mum again.
>Then along came Anon.
>Anon seemed to fit every bit of description you heard of your dad.
>He had your gender.
>His "mane" was about the same as yours.
>And he seemed to have made half the children of Ponyville from what you saw.
>You watched from the sidelines as all the children walked up to anon calling him, "father", "dad", or "daddy".
>You always tried your hardest to get so close to him.
>But you were always shoved aside from all the other colts and fillies trying to be with their "dad".
>You know with this crowd you are never going to get close to your dad.
>So you follow him as much as you can, being silent as possible until you can have some precious time with him alone.
>While you finally were able to today..... it didn't go so well.
>Anon was so harsh towards you.
>It felt like he hated your existance.
>He thought you were some sort of prank.
>But why?
>Doesn't he recognize you?
>You are his son?
>Right?
>You come home.
>You sniff the air and smell that mum made an excellent supper with a nice pie for desert.
>But you weren't that hungry.
>So instead you go up to your room and go to bed early.
>You cry yourself to sleep.
>Hopefully though, Princess Luna might give you a good dream tonight.
>The shrine of her has to give you enough points for that.
 
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>Be anon.
>You wake up extremely early in the morning.
>You begin cooking yourself a nice breakfast of eggs and some sort of meat substitute.
>It's finally going to be over.
>No more children harassing you.
>No more adults suspecting you for being a pedophile.
>No more paying for meals, sweets, and toys.
>No more of that British brat following you.
>Yeah he was the most annoying out of the bunch.
>Always smiling at you with that stupid grin on his face.
>Asking to do pirate stuff with him whenever you two were alone.
>What a loser.
>Everyone knows that Ninjas were better.
>Well at least he won't bother after the mayor finally clears everything.
"HA! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID BASTARDS!"
>You pretend to shout triumphantly to the kids
"STARTING TODAY, YOU ARE ALL FINALLY GOING TO PAY ME BACK FOR ALL THAT SHIT!!"
"ESPECIALLY THAT PIRATE COW KID!!"
>You step outside to go to town.
>You hear the kids continuing to harass you by calling you dad.
>You don't care this time.
>It will soon be over.
>The one you really want to rub in their face is that stupid Brit.
>You really hated that kid.
>But it was thanks to him, you were able to find out this was a prank.
>Maybe you'll go easy on him.
>You wait patiently at town square.
>The announcement will be in an hour.
 
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>Be Pip.
>You wake in a foul mood.
>The night was really rough on you.
>You really just want to stay in bed all day.
>But you know you have to get groceries with your mum today.
>You feel like it's going to be a long day today.
>You get up.
>Praise your Luna shrine.
>Go to the bathroom to do whatever.
>Have a healthy breakfast with your mum.
>And then get ready to get groceries.
>You go around the market area near the square.
>You and mum are mostly getting mostly the essentials for tonight's dinner.
>Pasta, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, parmesan cheese, garlic, and butter.
>You always helped your mum the best you could by carrying the groceries for her.
>She always called you a gentleman for doing that.
>You were on your way to the next stand until someone caught your eye.
>It was dad.
>You saw him waiting at the corner for something.
>You obviously wanted to meet him again but you were busy at the moment buying groceries.
>You try to get your mum's attention.
"Mum!"
>You gave a muffled cry.
>Couldn't really speak with a basket of food in your mouth.
"Mum look! It's dad!!"
>Your mum couldn't really understand what you were trying to say.
>Not to mention, she was busy talking to the stand owners as well.
>You decide to gently drop the basket to the ground.
>You yell as loud as you can.
"MUM! I SEE DAD! PLEASE LOOK AT HIM!!"
>She turned towards you.
>She couldn't believe what you said.
>"Found dad?", she asked, "That's impossible dear, he's all the in Trottingham."
"No mum, he's right over there see!"
>You point towards dad.
>She looks at the area.
>"Honey.... I don't see him."
"He's right there mum!"
>"Is he next to the human dear?"
"What are you talking about mum? He is the human."
>She stared at you for a few seconds.
>She wasn't sure what you were thinking.
>She certainly seemed confused by the whole concept alone.
>She looks at the human again and then back at you.
>"Son.... why would think this.... this ape..... is your father?"
"But mum... he's everything you ever told me about him. He has the same gender."
>"Well that is obvious."
"He has my mane."
>"It does look a tad bit like yours but-"
>"And he helped produce all the children here, just like back home."
>"Pipsqueak! This man is not your father!"
"but-"
>"No buts.... that is for sitting on."
>She then sighs.
>"Just tell me that you didn't bother him."
>You look down on the ground.
>Feeling a bit ashamed of yourself.
"Yes mum... I'm sorry."
>"It's not me you should be apologizing to. You have to go up to him and say it."
>Well this is going to be an awkward conversation.
>Especially with mum watching.
 
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>Be anon
>It's near that time.
>Can't wait for it to stop.
>You look around to see if you can find the mayor.
>You find someone else instead.
>British pirate bastard cow.
>With some hot mare.... possibly his mom.
>Hard to believe something so annoying came out of that.
>Now what does he want now?
>He walks up to you.
>He looks... ashamed.
>Well you would be too if you were him.
>"Dad..... I mean anon.", he begins.
>"I'm sorry for annoying you an-"
>And then the moment of truth.
>The mayor takes to the stage to make the announcement.
>You rudely hush the child trying to hear the glorious news.
>She grabs the loudspeaker.
>"Citizens of Ponyville.", she begins.
>"I wish to imform you that anon is not a pedophile."
>"It's just a prank that the children pull on every new anon that they meet claiming that their his father."
>"Believe me I know. I've done it with the last anon."
>"But anon has told me it's been getting out of hoof lately."
>"With the kids actually having him act like their real parent and having him buy stuff for him."
>"I encourage all the children that harassed Mr Anon to apologize to him whenever possible."
>"That is all."
>You then turn towards the annoying, little, bastard cowshit pirate.
"Alright you heard her fucker! Get out of my face. I never want to see you and your fucking pirate fetish again!"
>The brat's mom was completely stunned by your behavior leaving her mouth wide open.
"Oh and tell your real dad, Fuck you! Because I had to deal with your bullshit! But hey maybe there's a reason he didn't want to deal with you. Maybe it's because you're a freaking retard. Hell if I were father I'd leave you immediately.
>Pip was very hurt by these comments.
 
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>Be Pip
>Every single word you heard coming from anon's cruel mouth felt like they were all stabbing you.
>Was it really your fault that dad actually left mum?
>You did always wonder that from time to time.
>You hear anon continue on with his rant about you.
>"Also that act you put on everytime you see me is so stupid. That, 'Oh, I want some one on one time with my dad because I love him' crap, I will admit it looks believable but I know for a fact that you are just faking it like every other bastard child here! And I will not stand for your bullshit! Now if I ever see you again I will beat the shit out of you. Because you were the most annoying out of the bunch.... oh and you owe me 5 bits for that breakfast, I will admit you were the cheapest out the bunch of the bratsn but you were the most annoying piece of cowshit ever."
>You felt so horrible.
>You felt like you wanted to die.
>You then hear your mum.
>"He doesn't owe you shit!!"
>Your eyes were wide open.
>You never expected your mum to swear.
>"My son actually did think you were his father, and was trying to earn your love but what do you do? You slap him on the face with reality, call him retarded, and the most unfirgivable one, telliing him it's his fault his father actually left him when it never was."
>"Pip had nothing to do with his father leaving us. He left because of me. I wasn't good enough for him. I couldn't let my son know that it was my fault but I assured him that it was never his fault."
>"I tried my best to make it to where we would never remember him but that only made it wose for ourselves... and I never expected to hurt Pip even more."
>"I understand that you were annoying with him, I would be too, but saying all that shit towards him was uncalled for."
>You watch as anon just stare at your mum.
>He looks like he just fucked up.
>He remains silent.... he then leaves.
>Mum then turned back to you.
>She looks like she's about to breakdown.
"Mum.... I'm sorry."
>Mum then hugs you.
>That night you and mum were quiet at the dinner table.
>Even though you loved spaghetti you couldn't find within yourself to eat it.
>You both just sat there.
>Quiet.
>Awkward.
>Sad.
>You decide to try and make some conversation.
"Mum.... Did dad ever love me."
>Mum looked at you with tears in her eyes.
>She held them back as much as she could.
>"Pip... I'm going to honest with you."
>"Half of me wants to say he did, and he wanted to take you with him."
>"The other says he cared about you as much as his other kids."
>"I mostly want to believe the first half.... but I really don't know."
"And we'll never know."
"And mum....."
>"Yes, love?"
"I never blamed you for dad leaving."
>Mum smiled at you.
>"And I never blamed you either."
>The both of you hug it all out.
>You knew everything was going to be OK.
>Mum was all the family you ever needed.
 
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>Be anon....
"Damn..... I could have been with her if I wasn't such an asshole..... Dammit"
The end.