Title:           Anon Falls - Years in a Nightmare Won't Kill the Fangush
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/9E1vFpfA
First Edit:      Tuesday 12th of May 2015 09:55:31 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 12th of May 2015 09:55:31 PM CDT

I studied the personal effects I had confiscated from Anon 77. Crystopolis's Split Beam laser pistol, two shots worth of ammunition. A speaker cone - for some strange reason. And enough food and water to last a week's journey alone. It was too much of a coincidence with Homage's recent broadcast.
 
And here I thought he was just a conservative spender with his caps.
 
"A hunting trip." I summarized his cover story.
 
"Yeah." Was his smug response. I just -- this was reminding me too much of my old job as a human. Those little puissant shoplifters who really thought they could talk their way out of their situation with that attitude. I can't even...
 
"Woulda thought three years experiencing the things you have would've knocked the idiocy outta you." I addressed the Anon sitting on the bench, who was crossing his fear hooves imperiously at me "Anon 1 and 2 are away, desperately trying to coordinate Anon 13's rescue before Red Eye can torture him. In about a week, shit's going to go down and we'll be lucky if the Enclave sends only five Raptors to bombard our home. And you! Would rather play cowboy and live a childish fantasy with Pip than shore up the town's defenses."
 
I physically smacked the back of his head, the blessing of this world's lack of rules and law to call me out on my misconduct.
 
"Well, if you really wanna know. I wasn't heading out to meet Littlepip." Anon 77 rubbed where I had slapped him, "I was going to head into the Canterlot Ruins."
 
"Which if memory serves, Littlepip and her company is about to set foot in any day now to find that book." Nice try Anon 77.
 
"It's not about her!" the winged Anon kept denying.
 
"Really now?" I humored him, "You've no idea the types of excuses so many others have made the moment Littlepip finally popped up in the radio, carrying even more armament than you did. She does her part, we do ours. End of story."
 
"I AM doing my part." Anon 77 insisted, "I was heading for Stable City."
 
Just what was he getting at? I wondered.
 
"I am in tune to the reality of my situation more than ever, Anon 34." Anon 77 claimed, "For centuries, the Canterlot Ghouls in Stable 1 had to live night and day through a shit situation. And just weeks before they can get a happy ending and see the sun again?" Bam."
 
He knocked some of his own energy cells to demonstrate his following analogy, "Enclave blows them up just to try and intimidate the other towns, and that's one chapter in Steelhooves’ life left meaningless. I'm going to try and warn them about Operation Cauterize."
 
Well, color me surprised, though not for the reasons I should conventionally think. The one Anon who's not planning to butt in or ship into Littlepip's company in a fantasy of becoming an extra companion.
 
"My plan was to trail behind Littlepip so I wouldn't have to face as many Canterlot ghouls. Claim I'm a scavenger if they happen to catch me. I'd use my speaker when I reach the ministry building so they can let me in. Then I'll - tell them I'm an Enclave defect, and warn them the Enclave's about to test an experimental weapon on Canterlot or somethin." Anon 77 explained his plan, "I'm fully prepared if none of them believe me and insists of staying up. Fine. But I'll push Star Sparkle's wheelchair if I have to."
 
Alright, I consider. At least he got some of his bases covered. But being the sociopath I am, I didn't hold back shooting him down...
 
Metaphorically.
 
"You'll never make it." I rebuked him, "You travel by sky, you'll have to go through baby dragon and feral pegasi ghouls. There's also alicorns scattered around the ruins which will twicely fuck things over if they catch you. And lastly, have you ever thought Pip fought much harder against the Enclave because of the anguish she felt from failing Steelhooves's promise to move Star Sparkle out of there?"
 
"Well I guess it won't matter because you're confident the first two obstacles will likely kill me anyhow!" Anon 77 flailed a hoof at me in defiance. "This interference policy is stupid. We changed this world the moment we started existing here."
 
True.
 
"No." But I wasn't going admit it him, looks like he was going to join the other idiots in the Stable's detention cell until they're needed the day the Enclave makes their move-.
 
"Sir! Anon 34, sir!" This was an appropriate moment for me to let out another sigh. If this has to do with another wanna cowboy, I swear.
 
"I hope you have somepony substituting for watching Eye Am while you're here." I lined out my priorities with the kid.
 
"Y-yeah." Anon 15 panted, "But you need to see this! We must have did something for it to have happened." Yeah, vague explanations are really helping me, kid.
 
"Mind giving a straight answer before the serial ...killer ... strikes you... down." Looking past the scrawny Anon, I saw plain as day why he was so panicked.
 
A sky carriage had landed in the town centre, but it was not the airborn vehicle our rescue team had restored and departed straight for Fillydelphia. I tried to deny that the blood-sand colored pegasus unharnessing himself from the front just happened to look familiar to Calamity. But then the other passengers began disembarking from The Sky Bandit.
 
A beat passed for me to fathom that the fangasmic giggling was my own.
 
Christ, we're not going to make it through this if not even I could hold it together.
 
0000000
 
“Calamity? What is this place?”
 
“This here Remedy is Rainbow Falls.” Calamity gave Velvet his own tour of the town, as the usual welcoming party was mysteriously absent. “Up ‘till three years I think, this town and whole square miles around was impossible to live ‘n. On account with all these monsters that were brought from this ‘Scariest Cave in Equestria’, or so the old rumors say, escaping from their pens soon after the world ended. Bred like crazy, infestin’ the caves’n’tunnels all ‘round.”
 
“And what reason was there for ponies at that time to transport monsters like that in the first place?” Velvet tried to fathom that odd specific detail.
 
“Well,” Calamity countered as he dug to recall, “Time was, this spot would host a tradin’ convention every year much like the same way we barter now’days. One fella must’ve thought the worst critters were worth tradin’ to somepony for. Ever since they broke out, these black beasts teemed and bred like crazy. It was too unsafe for even raiders to travel the valley. Until out of the blue, buncha ponies banded together t’ make this spot one of the safest places t’ visit and trade again.”
 
“And, um,” Littlepip scanned across the town square, noticing half the population making sudden movements and crude attempts at non-chalant activities when she so much as glanced in their general direction, “who were these ponies?”
 
“Dunno.” A single word overtuned the party’s entire confidence with Calamity’s decision.
 
“You wish to entrust the orphans with complete strangers?” Velvet Remedy boiled at the stetson wearing stallion, perhaps it was a smart decision to leave Xenith and Steelhooves with the foals inside the Sky Bandit.
 
“That didn’ come out right.” Calamity apologized weakly, “I figured after what happened at Arbu...” twicely apologizing as the little stable mare turned her head away at the awful memory, “I figured, the best place we c’n leave them with is with folks who have all their issues spelled out. Heck, the fact they didn’t try shootin’ us down outta the sky unlike Friendship City says a whole lot better about them.”
 
“Or maybe they didn’t hear Homage’s latest broadcast.” Littlepip shot down Calamity’s optimism. Another upwards glance and the same ponies shot back into their ‘I wasn’t paying attention to you’ posture.
 
With the way everypony was staring at them – her, Pip corrected, it’s most likely they did hear the radio station’s account of the massacre. Maybe that was why none of them dared come up to them, probably too scared to approach a mass murderer.
 
“So the story goes the first townsfolk all popped up the Stable right below this town.” Calamity hoped the topic would stir his friend out of her inner bitterness. The utterance of the phrase stable appeared to have succeeded in catching her attention. “The Stable’s test was that, unfortunately, none of them grew up with proper names t’ call themselves, they were all to be given a random number upon birth. Most of them still keep t’ it even now.”
 
“Their names are just numbers?” Velvet gasped in shock, Pip shared the sentiment. To them, being stripped of a name was essentially half of their destiny robbed away. They were tempted to say it ranked just as high on the importance scale as their cutie marks.
 
“They don’t seem t’mind.” Calamity intoned, “But they like it when ya prounounce their names startin’ with ‘Anon’.”
 
“What’s Anon mean?” asked Littlepip.
 
“I always reckoned short-talk of theirs for ‘Number’.”
 
“Calamity, I just...” Velvet studied the plateau settlement, beginning to notice the town’s odd behavior before brushing it off their attentive stares, “What possessed you to think these ponies are the most qualified to care for the foals?”
 
“Velvet, I’ll tell ya a little story.” The Pegasus informed his companions, “Since these Anon folks set up shop, I pass by here ‘bout twice a year to look out for Ditzy’s trade wagon. And these fellas, are the only ponies I ever saw who wanted to give the ghoul the biggest hugs she’s ever had, they had to form a line. If that isn’t a sign they’re all good folk, I don’t know what is anymore.
 
0000000
 
"Would you like a drink, Littlepip?"
 
"Oh. I'd love to but," the stable mare telekinetically wiggled a bottle and straw she hadn't even finished halfway, "your friend already gave me the 'free drink for new guests' welcome."
 
"Then he forgot to mention..." Anon 88 paused long and hard, scrambling for an excuse as if he was making it up on the fly, "Hero's Discount!" He announced as he tossed the bottle, knowing she'd instinctively wrap the incoming refreshment with her magic, "No backies, your magic touched it, you gotta finish it all up now!"
 
"Wait, that's not how germs - work?" Littlepip attempted to complain, but their waiter in contrast to his overt generosity took off in a hurry rather than risk taking the refreshment back. "Um, oh-kayee. Calamity, you can have this one."
 
"Would either of you like to take a tour of Stable 42 before heading out?" The tourist proprietor of Rainbow Falls' underground balefire shelter hopped up to the table eagerly. "I guarantee no gestating chest monsters, crazy super computers, or Steel Ranger home invasions, or Pink Cloud poisonings. You'll feel right at home!" Anon 42 pitched which every cliched hoof motion a pre-war salespony could conceive, "You'll be surprised with all the alternative vegetables and fruits we replanted the orchards with - free to sample for first-time visitors."
 
"I'm quite sure your Stable is very nice." Pip's jet black companion tried dodging 42's request nicely, "We were just hoping to discuss with your mayor about the orpha-."
 
"And I hope you wouldn't mind if I asked you, Pip and Calamity if the three of you can pose in a certain way right outside the Stable entrance?" 42 blurted, knowing he's got nothing else to lose. Except for the gang's decapitated impression of him.
 
"I think we're good--" Pip hastily tried turning away the Anon who was wearing a replica of her armored barding, before another stallion took 42's place. With a loud, comical tackle.
 
"Spent Casings." Anon 31 nervously introduced himself, fluttering a small colorful box that spelled out all signs it was another free gift, "I have a feeling this might make the next three days of your life much easier." the unicorn magically unwrapped the ribbons when it became apparent Pip was just content at staring. "Like, say hypothetically you decide to head into Canterlot."
 
"Dude, 31." The waiter 42 rushed back, his voice as quiet as his movements was frantics, "We're not supposed to know about where they're going."
 
"Shut up, it's Spent Casings." the 31st fan argued the native name he decided to make up the instant he saw the story's characters in the flesh.
 
"Oh no, I couldn't." The Stable Mare slumped in shock as she examined the compact mouthgrip laser pistol nested in the gift box, where the unique casing was a blue allow, and an especially modded intensity knob she may never know was the result of Crystopolis engineering, "It's nice. But it's obviously rare, and looks very..." Her eyes peeked to his Pipbuck, nearly popping out when it managed to spell out it's selling value alone, "That. Is expensive." four digits caps.
 
"It's free." 31/Casing stated faster than his heart could beat.
 
"I've been out for two months, and there's no such thing as free for these kinds of things." Pip narrowed a suspicious look at the unicorn, "Not unless you're Ditzy."
 
"You'd be paying me with advertisement." 31 had at least rehearsed his dreams of giving tribute in advance, compared to 42's sloppy improvisation, "When everypony hears and sees The Bringer of Light firing my weapon in the name of justice, my business will skyrocket!"
 
"Well, Casing. I think it's best that..." Pip floated this world breaking laser pistol towards the town's weapons merchant, until her green glow around the laser weapon was overcome by Casing's blue aura to push back towards her, "Fine! Okay!" she gave up the reverse magical tug-of-war.
 
"Can you fellas just leave us alone for one minute?" she finally snapped, "Celestia's freezing menopause-." her eyelid twitched when several of the stallions squealed hearing her euphemisms, "It feels awkward being treated like Celestia herself."
 
"Calamity." she hissed at the pegasus who decided to change the course of the Sky Bandit, "What have you gotten us into?"
 
"Ah don't follow." the rust colored companion happily sipped the second sarsparilla meant for Pip.
 
"Everypony in this town is-."
 
"The friendliest, right?"
 
"I'm going to have to finish her train of thought there, Calamity." Velvet agreed firmly with Pip, "This place...is terrifying."
 
"Nope. Nothin' evil ever goes wrong with Rainbow Falls." Calamity started to insist as the horror of last night was no longer a deniable topic, "Ah swear. It aint' like last time."
 
"And I swear, they haven't heard about Arbu, yet." Littlepip buried her face into the table, the spasms of guilt swimming back through her brain, "Or they did hear about it, which makes how they're welcoming me much more creepy."
 
"I think they do know." Velvet commented quietly, "Their Sherrif 34, kept eying the wagon with strange looks. Why do you think we left Xenith and Steelhooves inside with the foals?"
 
"We'll get around t' it Li’lpip. Ah'm sure them Anons jus' want us to feel at home before getting down t' the adoption business." the stetson companion listed as many reasons he could that this town did not have a secret as dark as Arbu, "They treat a zebra o' theirs like family, a poor earth pony who looks like he got mutated t' look like he's made of diamonds, they left 'im in charge o' their general store."
 
"And they hugged Ditzy non-stop." Velvet finished the last point of Calamity's insistent faith in this town. "Okay, so they're eccentric ponies who accepts other colorfully minded ponies to live here." the dark mare measured her surroundings carefully, "That doesn't necessarily make it a good place for the foals to live in."
 
"Ah doubt the li'l ones will ever get bored." Calamity gave his hopeful input.
 
"I don't know..." Littlepip dozed into her hoof, letting her mind drift until the quarreling couple asks her for the tie breaking decision. Xenith was initially keen with entrusting the foals with these ponies. Steelhooves, not so much.
 
Their adoration and praise felt much worse than when Friendship City tried popping Pip out of the skies. And Homage's broken faith in her last broadcast was still fresh. Granted, they may not have open fired if they knew the Sky Bandit was carrying little extra guests.
 
Heh, maybe these ponies were showering her with gifts because they didn't want her to look in a secret slave pen they keep locked up in the cellar. Or who know? A second IMP vat to breed more alicorns for the Goddess. That tall pegasus mare staring at her through the window seemed to match the description.
 
...Wait a second, where has Littlepip seen that forehead scar before?
 
A braided colt pressed his hooves over the crippled alicorn's eyes, frantically ushering her away from staring at Littlepip any longer.
 
Luna's nipples, shoot falling stars at this town! That was an Alicorn of the Goddess!
 
Too many suspicions flashed. Calamity claimed these ponies fought Red Eye and raiders on a regular basis, but an alicorn was walking out in the open. But that bomb collar they had strapped - no. That could mean this town was secretly rival slavers of Red Eye.
 
Tartarus, she never saw the signs in Arbu. The notion was no longer ridiculous; there could just well be be IMP vats in that Stable below town, and the ponies found a way to breed slaves to look like the Goddess' psychic creations.
 
"Pip?" Calamity studied the Stable mare cautiously, "What are you holding with your horn?"
 
"Oh." Snapping out it, Littlepip wiggled her free refreshment to distract Calamity from her glowing holster, "Just my drink. I'll just..." she pushed seat away, "Take a better look if you don't mind."