Title:           INTERLUDE - Prankster Thingpone
Author:          AngryWino
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Qp6MBcLh
First Edit:      Tuesday 26th of January 2016 11:31:27 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Wednesday 29th of June 2016 10:28:39 PM CDT

A wild Thingpone thread appeared, and I confess I found the concept amusing (a cross between a pony and John Carpenter's "The Thing" - think shapeshifting eldritch horror that usually masquerades as a pony), so I posted a couple of greens there painting Thingpone as a prankster, on the premise that she finds fear arousing.  The more freaked-out Anon gets, the more turned-on she gets.  I later re-posted them in the Strange Waifu Thread.
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS-----------------------------
FIRST STORY:  Right below, line 12
SECOND STORY:  A little further on, line 45
ANNIVERSARY:  line 91
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:  line 216
AMBER PRANKS ANON:  line 285
TO YOUR HEALTH:  line 305
----------------------------------------------
 
FIRST STORY
 
>You're in the shower.
>Scrubbing the four key areas.
Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth.
>It's a great way to start the day.
>After you rinse off, you turn off the water, open the door, and reach for your fluffy bath towel.
>Grabbing hold, you start drying your head as you step out onto your fluffy bath mat.
>You wrap your fluffy towel around yourself and begin drying your chest.
>Your fluffy bath mat feels kinda weird.
>Wait, you don't have a fluffy bath mat.
>You look down.
>The fluffy bath mat looks up at you.
>The fluffy bath mat and the fluffy towel are actually one fluffy thing.
>"Well, hello there, Anon!" says your fluffy towel.
"Gah!!"
>Suddenly about a dozen mouths open up on fluffy Thing.
>From each mouth, tongues of varying shapes and sizes slither out and begin to lick you everywhere.
>And I do mean everywhere.
>Two thick tongues wrap around your legs.
"Thingpone! What in the nine hells are you doing?!!"
>"You said you were going to take a bath," a newly-formed mouth replies, "I just thought I'd help. Want me to scrub your back?"
>A large, rough tongue slides all over your back.
"Ge-hehe-ha-ha-ha... Stop it, Thing, I'm... HA... I'm ticklish!!"
>"I know!"
>You struggle to free yourself, but Thingpone keeps you helpless with laughter until she's licked every drop of water off you.
>"There we are, all clean now!" She unwraps herself from you and congeals back into her pony form.
>You open the door, pick her up, put her down pointedly outside the door, and slam the door closed.
"BATH TIME IS PRIVATE TIME, THINGPONE!"
>And now you need another shower.
Goddammit Thingpone...
 
 
SECOND STORY
 
>"Okay Anon, be sure to hold on tight to my legs now..."
"You know it."
>You are on the roof of Sugarcube Corner with your best pranking buddy, Thingpone.
>You firmly grasp her hind hooves.
>She helps out by growing some tendrils from her withers which wrap around your wrists.
>Her plot grows a face that looks at you sternly.
>"I mean it, Anon, hold on!"
"Okay, it won't be like last time, I Pinkie promise. Geez."
>As her body elongates, the secondary butt-face disappears except for one eye on a stalk.
>A tentacle emerges, points at the eye, then points at you.
>Thingpone's body stretches longer, and longer.
>Her entire anatomy becomes distorted, her forelegs becoming pseudopods with small toothy mouths on the end.
>One of them grows another eye.
>Target acquired!
>Mrs. Cake had set a pie out to cool on the window sill.
>"Almost there!"
>"Just a little further..."
>The toothy pseudopods latch onto the pie plate.
>"GOT IT!"
"Whoa, Thingpone, that was kinda loud."
>And it has attracted attention.
>Lily, passing by at this opportune juncture, hears Thingpone's cry of triumph.
>Thingpone, in elongating, has abandoned most of her pony form.
>There is a long, ropy tube of raw flesh, with bones and viscera sticking out at odd angles, hanging from the roof of Sugarcube Corner.
>Lily gasps and points, "THE HORROR!! THE HORROR!!"
"Jig's up, Thing!!"
>"Ohshit!"
>A horrified crowd gathers as Thingpone, still clinging to the pie, retracts up the side of the building to you.
>You grab the pie from her as soon as it comes into view.
>"HEY! My pie!!!" you hear Mrs. Cake cry out.
"Time to go, Thingpone! Plan B!"
>Thingpone nods and climbs up on your back, securing herself in place with thick, muscular tentacles.
>She sprouts bat wings.
>You run towards the roof's edge and leap off.
>Thingpone's wings fill with air, and you soar away together, clutching the pie.
"HA HA HA HA HA!!! Later fagets!!!"
>The ponies in the square below rage.
Fucking aliens!!!
 
Finally someone told me she has a name besides "Thingpone"; Amber.  So I'll be sure to use that if I decide to create more green of her.  Prankster Thingpone seems like great fun to revisit sometime.
 
 
And sure enough, I wrote this story 1 February 2016, and Anon learns that even eldritch abominations have romantic feelings...
 
ANNIVERSARY
 
>It ain't easy living with an eldritch abomination.
>Especially when she finds your fear arousing.
>As soon as Amber figured it out, she started surprising you by lying in wait for you...
>And she would leap out at you unexpectedly from dark corners and cupboards.
>She would put on horrifying displays of grotesquely twisted flesh, protruding viscera, writhing pseudopods, and creepy extra eyes.
>She would menace you with tentacles, teeth and claws, until you begged for mercy.
>And then, drunk on your terror, she would assault you in ways that would make H. P. Lovecraft blush.
>And Larry Flynt too, probably.
>These nights always ended up with you half out of your mind, wrapped in warm, cuddly, and contented Thingpone.
>It was nerve-wracking.
>But Amber is your friend, and she always pays her half of the rent promptly.
>But even terror can become commonplace, given time, and you grow used to her attempts to frighten and/or seduce you.
>Amber finds your increasingly blase reactions to her quite frustrating.
>So you are quite surprised to arrive home late one evening, and not be greeted at the door by a slavering maw full of fangs and eyes...
>But by Amber, in her pony form, wearing an apron and mixing something in a bowl.
>"Welcome home, darling!"
>You were prepared for writhing tentacles.
>You were prepared for slavering teeth.
>You were prepared for eyes on stalks leering at you lasciviously.
>You were not prepared for a cute pony, who appears to be doing nothing more terrifying than baking a cake.
>And for a long moment, your brain refuses to process it, as Amber gives you an innocent peck on the cheek and returns to the kitchen.
/Welp, this is new.../
>Following her into the kitchen, you see that she is indeed baking a cake.
>She has a recipe book open on the counter, cake pans out, and the oven preheating.
"Okay, I'll bite. What are you up to?"
>Amber gives you a look, as though you had just asked her an extremely silly question.
>"What does it look like? I'm making a cake!"
>Come to think of it, you HAD just asked her an extremely silly question.
>That's not to say you aren't suspicious of her motives, though...
"What for?"
>Amber puts the bowl down and crosses over to you, and rears up on her hind legs.
/Here it comes.../
>Amber gently embraces you with her forelegs, pressing her unexpectedly floofy chest into you.
/Wat../
>"To celebrate of course! We've been living together for a year!"
/Er, have we?/
>Your mind races.
/Has it really been a year?/
>Amber pulls back and looks coquettishly into your eyes.
>"Don't tell me you forgot..."
>Of course you had.
"Of course I haven't!"
>Tentatively you return her embrace.
>"You're so thoughtful! I can't wait to see what you came up with!"
>You'd better come up with something.
>Fast.
>Amber releases you and goes back to her cake-making.
>You back slowly out of the kitchen as she continues to mix, humming cheerily to herself.
>As soon as you're out of earshot, you pull out your cell and call a place you know that delivers gourmet steak dinners.
>Amber is the only pony you know that eats meat.
>They thank you for calling, but inform you that their kitchen is far too busy to take on additional orders.
/When she first moved in, we had Chinese and watched movies./
>Maybe, ...hopefully... she'll appreciate the nostalgia.
>You call the Chinese place and place your order.
>Expensive, but if it saves your ass, worth it.
>You hang up and turn around, finding Amber watching you as she continues to stir.
>You struggle to remain cool.
>"Who was that?"
"Um, wrong number."
>"Oh."
>Amber disappears back into the kitchen.
/Whew, that was close./
>Still, this is SO out of character for her.
/She's got to be planning something./
>Until you find out what it is, you're going to be walking on eggshells.
>On your way to hang up your coat and tie, you notice that the living room is kind of a mess.
/Guess I'll start there./
>Rolling up your sleeves, you do your best to make the living room habitable again.
>Dusting, gathering up old mail, putting things away.
>As you light a few candles in the hopes of creating a romantic atmosphere, you can smell the cake baking.
/She made me a cake, and the best I can do is Chinese and a few overdue chores?/
>You rearrange the couch cushions to make a cozy viewing nest, and pick out some of her favorite movies from your DVD collection.
>Yes, you still own DVDs.
>Having saved the noisiest for the last, you fire up the vacuum cleaner and begin removing dust bunnies, crumbs, and other contaminants from the carpet.
>Then you jump, as you feel two furry appendages wrap around your torso.
/Here we go.../
>They're just her forelegs.
>Amber leans into your back, hugging you.
>"Thanks for cleaning the living room up, it really needed it!"
>You put on a confident air you don't really feel.
"That's not all! You can relax the rest of the night, I've got the dishes, too."
>"Really?"
>There is a knock at the door.
>You excuse yourself, and go to pay the delivery man.
>Amber regards the packages you bring into the kitchen, bearing prominent Chinese characters and the restaurant's phone number, with a raised eyebrow.
>"Chinese?"
"Yeah, remember when you first moved in?"
>She cocks her head to one side, seeming to consider this.
>You can feel yourself sweating.
>If I might be permitted to employ an over-used metaphor, you feel pasta welling up in your pockets.
>A smile breaks across Amber's face.
>"Oh yeah, movies and chill! Of course I remember, how... nostalgic of you."
>Amber leans up and gives you a kiss.
>Not even any tongue.
>Then she drops back to all fours and walks back to the kitchen, swaying her hips seductively.
>She gives you the bedroom eyes before disappearing into the kitchen again.
>You seem to have dodged another bullet.
>Following her, you unpack the Chinese, carefully plating it.
>You decide to open up a bottle of wine as well.
/Wine with Chinese? Okay, sure, whatever./
>After putting away the vacuum cleaner, you grab a comforter off your bed.
>Preparations complete, you set out your wine and romantic Chinese dinner, cue up the first movie, and light a few more candles.
>Amber comes in with the cake and two additional plates balanced on a tentacle.
>Settling yourself on the couch, you hold open the comforter for her.
>She grins delightedly and nestles herself in next to you as you start the first movie.
/Saved the situation like a boss./
>Amber cuddles contentedly up to you and whispers in your ear...
>"Anon?"
"Yes, Amber"
>Her eyes glow red.
>"I know you forgot, faggot."
>Your adrenaline spikes.
"Shit."
/Oh SHIT, I said that out loud!/
>Something amorphous flows under the comforter and begins to engulf you.
>You open your mouth to scream, but Amber's neck extends with a horrible squelching sound, and she presses her lips to yours.
>Your scream is stifled as slimy things invade your mouth and slither down your throat.
>Further south, something sharp shreds your pants.
>And tentacles invade everything.
>H. P. Lovecraft and Larry Flynt have left the building.
>But at least there is cake afterwards.
 
 
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE...
 
>"This isn't what it looks like..."
>The speaker was your room mate, Amber.
>Formerly "Thingpone".
>And what it looked like was you had inadvertently walked in on an assimilation in progress.
>Unless, of course, Amber had cooked up a pink, furry head with a yellow mane, wearing a panic-crazed expression, just to mess with you.
>Complete with a pair of hooves flailing madly for anything to grab on to.
>Desperately trying to pull herself clear of the oozing horror that was consuming her.
>Not that messing with you was entirely out of the realm of possibility, of course.
>Amber, for some reason, enjoyed freaking you out way too much.
>So this sort of scene was distressingly common.
>But this appeared to be a genuine pony in distress.
>Not to mention Amber's lame attempt to explain it away.
>You cross your arms and fix your otherworldly room mate with the most withering glare you can muster.
"If this isn't what it looks like, Amber, then what is it?"
>Amber looks uncomfortable, which is quite a feat in itself for a writhing mass of tentacles, claws, and wriggling viscera.
>"Girl talk?" she says, with a hopeful grin.
>She has far too many eyes on her face to carry off that innocent look though.
"Spit her out, Amber. All of her."
>"Aw, you're so mean! She has some really nice features I was going to surprise you with later!"
"You've already assimilated those characteristics from her, haven't you?"
>The aforementioned horrifically writhing, fleshy mass gives a guilty start and deflates, slightly.
>"Yes," she mumbles.
"Then you don't need the whole pony. Reverse gears. Now."
>With a sickening sound, Amber produces two more arms, just so she can cross them huffily.
>"Hmmph!"
>But the pink pony begins to slowly emerge from her mass, the already digested and assimilated bits being reconstructed by Amber from her own biomass as she goes.
>A tentacle emerges and picks up the reconstructed pony, setting her down on her own hooves on the floor.
>"There. You happy now?"
"Happier, at any rate."
>Amber slowly coalesces into her pony form, making sickening crackling and squelching sounds the whole time.
>A clear sign that she is unhappy with your interference.
>You kneel down next to the trembling pink pony, brushing her yellow mane out of her wide blue eyes.
"Hey, are you okay, miss?"
>"I...I...I was just trying...to sell...cosmetics..."
>"She said she could make you desire me more," Amber huffs in her own defense, "so I decided to put it to the test."
>Well, MAYBE you haven't been showing her enough attention lately.
>You're going to have to step up your game, if it means she'll stop assimilating other ponies while your back is turned.
>Honestly, this is, like, the fourth one this month.
"Can you walk?"
>The pink mare answers this question by fleeing from your house, screaming the whole way.
>"Dammit, Anon! Now she's going to tell someone!"
>You stand and walk over to Amber, who has now fully returned to her pony form.
"It's not as if anyone is going to believe a story like that."
>You sit in a chair and pat your knee, which Amber knows means you expect her to come over to you for a talking-to.
>After a moment's hesitation, nervously scuffing at the carpet with one fore-hoof, she does so.
>You look her square in the eye.
"Listen, I know morality and the sanctity of life are completely foreign concepts to you."
"But they mean a lot to me."
"So for my sake, if not you own, please stop assimilating ponies who come to the door."
>"But I--"
"Please?"
>Morality and the sanctity of life may not mean much to Amber.
>But for some reason, you do.
>Her resolve melts in the face of your intense gaze.
>"I'll try."
>You ruffle her mane and give her a scratch behind the ears.
"Good girl."
>She leans into your attentions, a beatific smile spreading across her face.
>There are way too many pointy teeth in that smile.
>But that has long since ceased to freak you out.
>"I swear, Anon, if you weren't so damned nice, I would have conquered this entire planet by now."
>You swallow discreetly, knowing this is not just idle talk.
>She means it, and so you had made it your personal mission to keep Amber as happy and content as you could, ever since you found her.
>Goodness only knows what horrors would be unleashed upon the world...
>...if you weren't such a nice guy.
 
 
AMBER PRANKS ANON
 
>Anon being chased by Tatzlwurm
/How the actual fuck did that thing get here anyhow?/
>Anon dodges around houses and shops, but the Tatzlwurm just plows through them, getting closer...
>With a ferocious roar its maw splits open and its tentacles seize Anon, lifting him off the ground.
>>It slowly pulls him closer to the gaping wall of fangs...
/Welp, that, as they say, is that.../
>One of the tentacles morphs into Thingpoane's head and grins mischievously at him...
>Another tentacle boops him on the nose.
>"Heh, gotcha Anon!"
"Amber? Goddammit, you fucking... I swear to fucking christ, you gave me a fucking heart attack!"
>"Yup!" she grins triumphantly.
>The tentacles pull Anon inside.
>The maw closes.
>The Thing/Tatzlwurm buries itself in the sand.
>Within, sexy fun times begin...
/Goddammit Amber.../
 
 
TO YOUR HEALTH
 
Anon requested green of this image:  https://derpiboo.ru/887468
 
>You are Anon.
>And you are in the best shape you have ever been.
>But not by choice.
>Your freaky alien pony shape shifting friend, Amber
>aka "Thingpone"
>Has taken up residence in your throat.
>She won't let you eat foods you enjoy.
>She says they're not healthy for you.
>Every time you try, she pops out of your mouth and snatches it before you can even taste it.
>Her digestion is much more efficient than yours, so she can get away with it.
"Goddammit Amber! Can't I have just one fucking fry?"
>"No you can't. Too much sodium."
"Jeez, I have to die of something some day. Can't I at least die happy?"
>Amber is genuinely distressed.
>"No! You can't leave me, Anon! I won't let you!"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU...."
>The fork drops from your hand and you find yourself standing.
>"Come on, Anon, let's go for a run!"
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!"
>Amber pops out and kisses you on the cheek.
>"Because I love you and I'm going to keep you healthy forever!"
"NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
>Your protests are ineffectual as Amber stimulates your muscles, compelling you to jog out the door.
>As soon as you hit the street, you break into a run.
>"There goes Anon again," a passing pony remarks.
>"He's always so keen on keeping up his health!"
"Help meeeeee!"
>You scream as you recede into the distance...