Title:           Applejack's Birthday Party (Applejack x Anon)
Author:          Afterman
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/BxGeEdCP
First Edit:      Tuesday 25th of August 2015 04:04:47 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 26th of September 2015 04:07:24 AM CDT

>You are good ole Anon, just like any other time
>And after some time, you found your friend Applejack the perfect gift
>Well, it’s her birthday, and you couldn’t arrive empty-handed, right?
>Before you leave your place, you grab the bag that holds your favorite mare’s surprise
>You let the door slam shut behind you as you make your way to her place
>Well, the invitation says the party’s there, so better get to it
>Knowing you, you’re already going to be late
>Smooth…
>Whatever
>You just can’t wait to see that mare
>Just the thought of getting to see her is enough to get you to start jogging
>All you can think about doing is picking her up and holding her in your arms
>Yeah, you’re a sucker for her
>Ran out of breath, didn’t you Anon?
>Hell, you can walk
>You’re almost there anyways
>The smell of apples lure you as they hang high in the surrounding trees
>Great place, really
>Oh look at that, Sweet Apple Acres is within an apple’s throw
>Just gotta make it to the end of the drive
>The dirt path leads you right to the entrance of the farm
>You can hear Pinkie giggling from all the way over here
>Yep, it’s a party alright
>The laughter and talking from familiar voices lead you to the party
>With the barn doors wide open, you can hear some music playing
>What a surprise, country music is playing
>Yee haw
>The sound of carrying on and hollerin’ grows louder with each footstep
>Eventually, you find yourself standing outside the barn
>Gang’s all there, but of course, you just want to spend most of your time with Apple
“Hey, guys”
>You lean up against the door frame, waving to your friends
>Pinkie and Twilight slowly turn around and give you a tired wave
>Flutters and Rarity are passed out on the sofa
>Yep, they got fucked up
>However, Apple seems very excited to see you
 
>”Hey Ahnon! Y’all made it!”
>She trots over to you and stands on her hind hooves to give you a hug
>”Hey Applejack!”
>You bend down to pick her up and hold her as she continues to hug you
>”Seems like some pony is excited to be here” she playfully says
>That drawl of hers makes you feel at home
>Well, it’s not like /you’re/ ever going back
>Better make yourself at home…
>You put her back down on the ground, and hand her the bagged gift
>”Y’all went out and got me something?”
>She looks up at you with a sly grin on her face
“It’s not much, but I figured you’d like it”
>Opening up the bag, she pulls out a drinking mug
>The apple of your eye starts laughing and shaking her head
>”Ahnon, I ain’t no alcoholic!”
>Her voice tells you otherwise
“Hey, I figured you’d get some use out of it”
>You start to grin as you follow Applejack to the punch bowl
>”Yeah, yer probably right, Ahnon”
>She drowns the mug in the punch bowl, making sure to fill it to the brim
>”Y’all should try this here ‘punch’”
>Applejack hoofs you the mug, insisting you take a swig
>You grab the mug from her and take a sniff
>It reeks of alcohol
“Damn, how much cider did you put in this?”
>Pinkie intervenes, raising her hoof
>”Silly Nonny…….There’s……n-none…..bahaha!”
>Pinkie eventually falls over and begins to laugh hysterically
>You eye Applejack and raise a brow to her
>Twilight struggles to help Pinkie up, and instead, falls right next to her
>You’re trying so hard not to laugh right now
>Instead, you force a grin to keep yourself quiet
“Right…”
>”Come on, Ahnon, drink up!”
>Applejack’s voice directs you from the drunkenness back to this punch
>You really shouldn’t drink
>Because you know you’ll get fucked up and shit
>But look at Applejack…
>You couldn’t let her down, could you?
 
“Fuck it”
>You hold the mouth of the mug to your own mouth and start chugging
>Oh god, you can just feel the fire burning down your throat
>You gently place the mug next to the punch and wipe your mouth
“Better catch up to them, I suppose” you grunt
>You point to the drunken pair, who have just now passed out
>What cute drunks…
>”Then y’all better start drinkin’ up then!”
“Gotcha, boss”
>As Apple walks away, you grab an empty cup and fill it up with ‘punch’
>You sip some off of the top, and follow her
>She doesn’t go far, just going around the table to help her Twilight and Pinkie
>”Lightweights, Ah tell you”
>She tries to pick up Pinkie, but she’s struggling
>Well, she’s been drinking more than you today
“Hey, let me get them for you”
>You place your cup down, and grab both ponies and place them on the couch
>”Thanks, Ahnon,” Apple says before drinking again
“It’s no big deal” you dismiss her
>You make your way back over to her, and grab your drink
>”That Pinkie’s got an awful big appetite” she adds
>Damn, girl…
“I guess”
>You shrug and drink some more
>You’re not going to get drunk just standing around
>Reaching in your pocket, you pull out a pack of smokes, and light up a cigarette
“So,” you take a drag, “what’s new?”
>Applejack finishes her drink, and refills her mug
>”Well you know, harvestin’ all the apples and whatnot”
“Sounds like fun” you sarcastically reply
>Applejack watches you take another drag from your smoke
>As you exhale, you reach for your pack and hold it in front of her
“You want one?” you offer
>You shake the pack until one becomes exposed
>”Ah mean, if y’all don’t mind”
>You shrug and extend your hand closer to her
“Go for it”
>She reaches for a cigarette and lighter, and joins you in the cancer
>Smoke rolls out of her nostrils as she reaches for her drink
 
>”Thanks, Ahnon,” she says, “Ah needed this”
“It’s what I’m here for, right?”
>”Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night”
>Typical AJ…
>The two of you talk and keep working towards inebriation when you hear hoof steps coming closer to you
>When you turn around, you’re greeted by a slightly buzzed Rainbow
>”Anon, about /time/ you got here…”
>Her serious demeanor grew laid back as she began to smile
“Yeah, yeah…I’m here now, that’s all that matters, right?”
>”You missed pre-gaming, Anon!” She slurs
>She’s slow to walk towards you, but she finds her way to you
>Her hoof is extended towards you, and you hoof bump her
“Oh no….” you mumble with the cigarette in your mouth
>You place your hand on your chest dramatically
>”Yeah, man…” Rainbow pauses, “It was epic”
>The Pegasus mare makes her way to the punch bowl
>She doesn’t fuck around with that cider
“Oh yeah?” you insistently ask
>”Go ahead, Applejack, tell him” Rainbow says, filling up her cup
>Your eyes are on Applejack as she begins to tell you
>”Yeah, ‘Darlin’…over there definitely don’t drink often”
>”The others drank too fast, and Pinkie and Fluttershah started tryin’ to drink each other under the table”
>Fuck…that would have been epic
“Really?” you say in disappointment, “I missed all that?”
>”Ah guess so, Ahnon”
>She gives you a smug look before she starts drinking some more
“Better not go by the time on the invite then”
>”Uh…what?”
>Apple looks at you in confusion, finishing her smoke
“You know,” you pause for a quick swig of booze, “show up /before/ the party starts?”
>”Ohh…gotcha…”
>Alcohol must be getting to her, as she stares upon you, still confused
>Speaking of alcohol, you’re starting to work on a buzz
“Are you sure you do?”
>You finish your smoke, and stomp your foot on it
 
>”Yeah, Ah gotcha”
>You point a finger at her, and then give her a thumbs up
“Sweet”
>Rainbow appears next to Apple with her cider in her hoof
>”Hey, you know what would sound fun?”
“What might that be?”
>She points to some poster on the wall
>”Pin the tail on the pony!” She excitedly states
>Before you knew it, Dash trotted towards the poster
>She grabs the tail off of the table and tries her hardest to succeed
>You and Apple’s eyes follow her to her antics
>”What are you, some sorta filly?” Apple jokingly asks
>She walks over to Rainbow, and you follow behind
>”I am…/not/!” Dash snickers
>Rainbow stumbles around as she still tries to pin the tail
>”Almost….got it” She slurs, pinning the tail
>That cider must be the real deal, because she was so far off
“Come on, Applejack,” you sniffle, “It’s not /bad/”
>You’re starting to take bigger gulps of this drink
>And it’s about to hit you
>”Oh, what the hay”
>She sits her cup down and walks over to Dash
>”If y’all are gonna play, then you gotta wear the bandaner”
>You spectate as Applejack struggles to place the bandana over Dash’s eyes
“Uh…you need…help th…?”
>Guess not
>Dash can’t see shit right now, and is ready to go
>It’s funny to watch Apple spin her around though
>Why, with Dash stumbling all around
>”All right, y’all need to pin in just rahgt”
>Apple steps away towards you, and the fun is about to begin
>”I’ll trrryyy,” Dash giggles, stumbling all around
>Oh this is just too good…
>”How long until you think she falls down?”
“Oh I don’t know…” you pause, “I’m waiting for her to pin Fluttershy”
>”Ahnon, yer just the worst”
>She gently slaps you on your thigh
>”Am I….close, yet?” Rainbow starts to side step
“No, you gotta move forward”
>She’s trying though, you have to give her that
>”Y’all need to move over just a tad”
 
>”I’m trying Applejack!” Dash slurs, “I’m d-drunk, you know”
>She is so damn close, it’s practically right there…
“Watch out in front of you”
>”Ahnon, she cain’t see,” Apple points to the struggling Dash, “You know, blahndfold and all”
“Oh really now?”
>There goes Dash, falling to the floor with a big thud
>”Ahh!”
>You and Apple try to rush over to her, but that’s kind of hard to do
>Fluttershy groggily wakes up, looking over the couch arm at Dash
>”Are you…okay?”
>”Yeah, I’m fine, Fluttershy”
>You grab Rainbow and help her to her hooves
>”Did, did I get it?” Dash rubs a hoof on her head
>”Well, find out for yerself”
>Apple takes the blindfold off of her, revealing a surprise
>The tail’s right where it should be
>”Ooh yeah!!!” Dash shouts
>”Ah don’t believe it…”
>”woo…hoo…” Fluttershy whispers
>All you can do is raise an eyebrow and utter, “really?
>Dash stomps her hooves on the ground in excitement
>Ugh, she can get a bit carried away at times
>”All right, your turn, Applejack!”
>Dash hands Apple the bandana
“Yeah, AppleJACK,” you shout, “let’s see what you got”
>She turns her head towards you
>”Ah /will/ Ahnon!”
>You walk over and take the bandana from Dash, tying it around Applejack’s head
“Good?”
>”Yeah”
“All righty then”
>Apple yelps in shock as you abruptly pick her up and begin to spin
>Quite fast, in fact
>Oh well
>”Gat dang it, Ahnon,” She giggles, “Put me down!”
“Are you going to pin the tail?”
>”Well if you let me go, Ah’ll show y’all”
“All right then, let’s see it”
>You put her down, and then stumble around as bad as Dash
>Standing next to Dash, you watch Apple shift her hooves around, trying not to fall down
>”Whoa!” Apple giggles
>”Come on Applejack!”
>”Ah’m gettin’ on it!”
>She carefully takes a step forward
>Welp, let’s see what she can do…
 
>All Applejack can do is just stand there, wobbling all over
>Eventually, she settles down and starts to move
>When you think she’s gained composure, she starts getting all giddy
>”Can y’all help me out here?”
“Yeah…I don’t know if I should, Applejack…”
>You walk over towards the punch bowl, and help yourself to another cup
>”Well, Ah guess Rainbow could help me”
>Apple inches herself forward, trying to be as careful as any buzzed pony could be
>”Yeah…,” Dash pauses, “I’m with…Anon, on this”
>Dash “snickering” turns into a burst of laughter
>”Bahahaha”
>As you walk back over to where you were, you find your Pegasus friend on the floor
>She’s literally crying in laughter now
>Was it really /that/ funny?
>”Y’all are a bunch of mules!” Apple exclaims, annoyed
>The cup seemingly finds its way to your mouth as you start taking bigger gulps
“Ah ain’t no mule!” You reply, with your best southern accent
>”Anon, stop,” Dash continues to laugh, “you’re killing me!”
“Oh well”
>You walk up to Applejack from behind
>Well, /try/ to anyways
>You keep swaying left and right, but you make sure not to spill your drink
>Can’t let her find out about a party foul, huh?
>Once you’re in place, you start to whisper into her ear
“hey…need some….help?”
>You snort through your nose in your drunkenness
>Apple nudges you away with her hind leg
>”Y’all are startin’ to get fucked up”
“I…I ain’t even close, girl”
>”What do you mean?” Apple harshly replies with a slight slur
>”Yer all up on mah backside”
>She attempts to slap the side of her flank, but hits you in the forearm instead
>Maybe you should probably back off, just a slight bit
“Oh,” you reply, dumbfounded, “Didn’t even notice…”
 
>An awkward chuckle escapes your lips as you make your way to the arm of the pony couch
“Well, I’ll be here to help you”
>”About /time/ Ahnon. Ah haven’t been able to go anywhere”
“Well I’ll make sure you can go somewhere then” you coolly reply
>A quick sip of your punch, and Dash is /still/ laughing
>Her hysterical laughing doesn’t cease to end, distracting you
>You turn your head to face her, and all you can make out is that mare pointing and laughing at you
>”Ooohhhh Anon, you got caught!”
“Whatever, man”
>You dismiss her, whatever the hell she’s doing, and focus on your favorite mare
“Ready?”
>Apple appears to be doing something similar to a thumbs up
>But who knows
>”Ah’m ready, y’all”
“Are you sure you don’t need supn, spun, around ahgains?”
>God damn, this shit is unreal…strong as fuck
>”Spun? Nah, Ah’m all good”
“Fuck it,” you shout, “let’s do this!”
>As you begin to help Apple move forward, you feel a squirming motion from behind you
>You peer at what appears to be Fluttershy from your peripheral vision
“Oh hey, sleepy”
>”Ahnon, what do Ah do next?” Apple shouts
>”hello….anon….” Flutter groggily replies
>You turn back to face this “intense” game
>Kinda boring now tbh
“Yeah, I didn’t forget about you,” You slowly reply, “Scoot up a butt, I mean bit”
>Apple definitely heard you say butt, as she shakes her head
>”Okay…how bout now?” Apple blindly asks
“Kay, just mo-“
>”i don’t….feel so good…anon…”
>”Just what, Ahnon?”
“Stick the pin straight ahead, or somthging like that”
>You pointlessly point where Apple should pin the tail
>”can you help me….if that’s okay with you?”
>”Thanks, Ahnon!”
>You notice her fumble to pin, but manages to stick it to the wall
 
>Turning back around again, you notice poor Fluttershy holding her belly
“What am I supposed to do?” you whisper
>”help me go outside…”
>Fluttershy gives you a grimace of pain, as she grows closer to the inevitability
>You sure as hell don’t want any throw up on your nice suit
“Sure”
>You slide off of the couch arm, and attempt to pick up Fluttershy
>”Where are you goin’, Ahnon?”
>Apple slumps to one side, staring you down
“Gotta take this one outside,” you reply, “unless you want vomit in here”
>”Need help?”
>Applejack walks up to you in a slow gait
>”sorry…applejack….”
“I mean, I shouldn’t need help”
>All you can come up with is a shrug
>Who knows
>”Well, okay…” the redneck mare hushes, “wanna play cider pong?”
>Cider pong?
“If it’s what I think it is, you’re going to regret it…” you chuckle
>”We’ll just see about that, Ahnon!” Apple smirks
>You roll your glossy eyes at the cute mare
“If you say so…” you drawl
>You wear the cheesiest grin and aim it for Apple before turning around
>”Uh huh, sure…”
>Apple’s hoof steps become quieter as she walks away
>You proceed to carry out one of the lightweights
>Hopefully she doesn’t make a mess in here…
>”anon…I think I’m going to…”
>The most painful sounding hurl in the world comes from a delicate little shy pone
>Thankfully, you aimed her towards the grass outside
>Missed the barn floor and hit its mark
>Rushing outside as quickly as your buzzed self can, you let Fluttershy stand on her hooves
>Again and again, she hurls, spewing up cider and punch
>Once she settles down, you pat her on her withers
“Are you okay?”
>She silently shakes her head no as she’s about to throw up some more
“Let it out, Fluttershy…”
>You rub her shoulders and her neck with your free hand
>Then you finish off your cup with the other hand
>Hopefully, you don’t end up like her
>Or have to babysit tonight…
 
>Once Fluttershy finishes up ‘cleansing’ herself, she just stands there
>Of course, she’s breathing heavily, making sure it’s all out
>Her mouth hangs open as vomit and saliva drip from her lip
“You okay?”
>Kneeling down next to her, you look her in the face
>Of course, drunk you likes to pet ponies
>She looks like shit right now, but you really don’t care right now as you continue to rub her withers >”let’s go back inside….” She tiredly replies, looking beaten
“All right”
>You help the drunk pony back inside the barn where you find Applejack setting up the last row of cups
>”Ah was wonderin’ where y’all went, Sugarcube”
“Yeah,” you say patting Fluttershy on the head, “I had to help this one out”
>Applejack trots over to the two of you, going for Fluttershy
>”You alright, Fluttershah?”
>”yeah…I’m fine…”
>”That’s good,”
>Apple shifts her eyes towards you
>”Because Ahnon here’s gonna need a pong partner”
“Won’t matter, cause you’re still gonna get whooped”
>You point a finger at the cute apple mare and wear the smuggest grin you possibly can
>”Lotta talk fer a big fella” Applejack cockily laughs
“For you”
>”well…who are you going to play with…applejack?”
>”Ah’ll find someone”
>Apple walks over to the pile of sleeping pones, since Dash passed out
>Go figure
>She hovers over Twilight and nudges her softly
>”Hey Twahlight, Ah need you raght now” she whispers
>Twilight opens her eyes slowly
>”H-huh?”
>”Ah need you fer cider pong. Y’all are good with science and all that”
>Twilight is slow to sit up, but eventually does
>”Why do you need /me/ to play?”
>”Cause….” Applejack is lost in thought, “cause, you can use yer fancy science to help me win”
>Twilight sighs as she pulls herself off of the couch
 
>”Fine…” she huffs, “I’ll play a game or two…”
>”Ugh…”
>”That’s the spirit, Twi!” Apple gleams
>”It’s something all right, Applejack” Twilight says, rolling her eyes
“Let’s do this shit”     
>You skip like a little kid to the pong table, waiting eagerly
>Apple trots over to the other side of the table, eyeing a lethargic Twilight
>”Y’all need to hurry up!”
>”And you need to be more patient,” Twilight groans, “You did wake an inebriated pony you know”
>She rubs her forehead as soon as she’s standing next to Apple
>”Well Sugarcube, you’re doing better than Anon over there”
>She’s pointing to you, trying to contain herself
“I-I’m not /that/ drunk”
>Ironically enough, you start staggering a little bit
>”Y’all are all over the place”
>Now she’s imitating you, exaggerating how bad things are
>You’re tipsy, maybe even buzzed
>But you aren’t drunk
“I ain’t anywhere,” you point to yourself sloppily, “I’m right here”
>You nod your head as you point down
>”That’s quite true, Anon,” Twilight jumps in, “say, where’s Fluttershy?”
>You look to your side, and notice your partner isn’t with you
>”i’m…over here…” Fluttershy feebly says
>How did she get over by the alcohol?
>You don’t even ask why the alcohol was moved in the first place
“Can you bring me a cup of cider while you’re over there?”
>”sure…anon…” she says, looking away from you
>Fluttershy grabs a cup with her hoof and proceeds to fill it up
>Holding the cup with her wing, she makes her way over to you
>”here you are…anon…” Fluttershy extend her wing to you
>You grab the cup and thank the Pegasus, who takes her place next to you
>”You don’t mess around, do you, Anon?”
>Twilight seems amazed at how you’re chugging it like water
-------
>Well how else are you going to whoop ass at beer pong
>Oh, /cider/ pong, you mean
>You’re a champ when you’re fucked up
>And you’re going to show Applejack here how you do things on Earth
“Of course not, book horse”
>You tip your cup to her, before taking another swig
>”You guys ready?”
>Applejack bounces a ping pong ball across the table towards you
>”i-i-i-if that’s okay with you…”
“Don’t cry too badly when we win”
>You bounce the ball on the table top a couple of times
>Twilight is staring your cups down
>Probably nerding it up or something over there
>”Well, how are we doin’ this?” Applejack asks, dipping her ball in a cup
“Stare into each other’s eyes and throw?” you propose
>”Ah suppose we could do that, Ahnon”
>It’s how you’ve always done it
>Then again, it’s just a subtle excuse to get to stare at Applejack
>And those beautiful green eyes…
>Applejack is ready, as she attentively stares you down
>Squinty eyed and all
>Guess that’s you cue to stop being a weirdo
“Aight…on 3”
>You ready your ball throwing arm as Twilight counts down
>Those three seconds seem like the longest
>But Apple seems to be trying to throw you off, making faces at you
>So you bulge your eyes at her and stick your tongue out
>”Three!”
>Woosh….
>You throw your ball with as much precision as a drunk person can
>And Apple’s ball is flying towards you
>Water splashes on your side, as Apple’s ball sinks in one of the back cups
>Thankfully, you made the front cup
“Not bad,” you applaud, “for a novice”
>You wink at Apple as swats a hoof at you
>”That ain’t nothin’, hun”
“Roight…” you try to do your best British accent
>Yeah, you’re drunk as fuck now
 
>The whole room seems to be moving back and forth as you try to hand Fluttershy the ball
>”thanks…”
>She hesitantly takes the ball from your hand
“You got this, Shy”
>A slight blush fills her cheeks before turning to the table
“thanks…again…”
>Twilight was /really/ staring at those cups now
>It’s just pong, come on
>Eventually, her and Shy eye each other as Apple counts down this time
>On three, they both threw their balls
>Fluttershy’s bounced in front of the front two cups, and Twi’s, of course, sank right in
>”i-i-I am so sorry”
>You shrug, and toss back the ball from your side
“Eh, we got this, no biggie”
>Your opponents grab their balls, and decide who goes first
>”Looks lahk we get to go first” Applejack snickers
“I don’t give a FUUUHCK!”
>You bob your head in for some reason
>”Ahnon, y’all need to get drunk more often. Yer funny as all heck”
>Applejack starts laughing at you
>Meanwhile, Twilight just ignores you and focuses on the cups
>Nerd
>Apple lets Twi go first
>Looks like her book learnin’ paid off, as she sinks yet another one
>The front cup
“Ooh, some pony’s heatin’ up!”
>”What do you mean ‘heating up?’” Twilight asks you
>She looks confused…guess they don’t have that here
“Like, you make two cups in a row” you reply
>You grab the ball from the cup and start dipping it in one of the cups
>”Oh…okay then”
>She goes back to studying the cups some more
>”Y’all better take notes over there”
>She’s starting to get really cocky over there
>Better put an end to that next turn
“Let’s see it first, ‘Sugarcube’…” you slyly say
>That seems to throw her off, because you think she’s blushing
>Who knows, it’s getting hard to focus on faces
>You start hovering your hands over the cups for a little bit
 
“Which cup are you going to make?”
>”You better wahp that grin off yer face”
>All you can do is chuckle as you move your hands away
>She throws the ball, and it hits a cup
>Miss!
“Smooth one…”
>You give Apple a thumbs up as you hand a ball to Fluttershy
>”Ah ain’t even warmed up yet!”
“Whatever you say”
>You let Fluttershy go first, and she finally throws the ball
>Crossing your fingers seems to do the trick, because she made one of the back cups
>She turns to you, ecstatic that she made a cup
“Nice!”
>You fist bump her, because >hooves
>Time to show this country pony what’s up
“Hey,” you say and point to the cups, “do you guys call cups when you play?”
>Apple had to think about that for a couple of seconds, but realizes what you meant
>”Ah reckon we do” she says with an awkward tone
“Welp, I’m gonna call bitch cup”
>You single out the cup with your cider hand, pointing a finger
>”Now what in the hay is a ‘bitch cup’?”
>Applejack’s skeptical eyes start to squint
“You know…the very middle cup?”
>Twilight hovers a hoof over said cup
“Yep, that one right there”
>”Then whah didn’t you say that?”
“That’s what we call it back where I’m from”
>You casually bounce the ball on the table again
>”Well, let’s see ya make this ‘bitch cup’ then”
>Apple uses her hooves to make quote marks, clearly doubting your skill
“Aight…”
>You crack your knuckles and grab the ball
>Before you can throw, you make sure to cross yourself with your drink hand
>That cup is all yours, Anon
>JUST
>DO
>IT
>The ball releases from your hand when you flick it
>It’s so tense, the ball feels lke it’s never coming down
>Eventually, it does
>Swish…
>Twilight looks stunned as she looks as you, and back to the cup
“Fuck yeah!”
>You fist pump the air, and then make a hand gesture to bring the balls back
 
“Bring them sons of bitches back over here please”
>You’re getting a little too bit involved with this game
>You back up from the table and start to pace from excitement
>”Ah don’t know h-“
“Don’t even say nothin’ to me boy, you lookin’ like a muh fuckin’ uhhhhh…”
>You wave your hand at Twi and Apple, who just stare you down
>Maybe just the slightest bit involved…right?
>Twilight looks literally concerned at your hijinks
>Applejack is losing it, on the brink of crying from laughing so hard
>You had some weird friends back on Earth, god damn…
>”Y’all are so fucked up, I tell ya what” Apple shouts in between laughs
>That reminds you of something…
“God dang it Bobby, bwahh!” you belt out your best Hank Hill impression
>Weird friends…
>Apple is covering her face up, propped up on the table
>”Ahnon, Ah don’t even know what that means, but hoo whee, yer killin’ me!”
>She wipes her eyes, and starts to giggle again
“Boggle?”
>Twilight starts to smirk and shake her head
>”Boggle? What in Equestria is that?”
>You shrug some more, too drunk to give a fuck
“Fuck, I don’t know, man.”
>Rainbow eventually wakes up, and makes her way over to the game
>”What in the hay is going on here?” Dash asks, “You guys woke me up”
“I was wondering what happened to you”
>You stick your fist out in front of her, waiting for that hoof bump
>She looks at your fist, then up to you
>You nod her head, trying to get her to go through with this
“Hit it, mate!”
>She complies, rolling her eyes at you
“Hell yeah!”
>You catch the balls Twilight tossed back over, handing one to Shy
>She just seems to be taking all this in, not saying a word
>Oh well, shy is gonna shy
>”Anon, you’re /weird/ sometimes, you know that?”
 
“You’re just now figuring this….oouuut!?”
>Your serious face you had went to a dumb toothy smile
>”Y-you do you, Anon”
>She walks away, and heads for the other side of the table
>”You’re letting the /egg head/ play?”
>Dash lets out a forced laugh and she continues
>”Did you read ‘The Egghead’s Guide to Playing Cider Pong?”
>Everyone that’s up starts laughing along
>Even Fluttershy getting in on the action, with her quiet little giggle
>”This /egg head/ has made all but one shot, thank you very much”
>”Really now?” Dash’s curiosity has been piqued
>”Yeah, really,” Twilight cocks her head, “Ask any pony here”
>Rainbow looks over to Apple, talking with her eyes
>Apple nods her head, confirming the truth
>To be honest, you’re surprised how good she is
>Forget about that…
>You and Shy here have a game to win
>After this turn, you don’t really remember much
>Thanks, alcohol…
>But when you start to remember things, you find yourselves with one cup left
>Your opponents have two left
>Fuck…
>Thankfully, it’s your team’s turn
>Balls are in your hands and hooves as you both stare down this final cup
>Definitely /no/ pressure whatsoever…none…
“Hey, do you want to end this game?” you turn and ask Shy
>She looks up at you, less nervous than yourself
>”do y-y-you think we can?”
“Well,” you say, “as long as both of us, or one of makes that cup…”
“Then yes”
>”oh, o-okay…”
>Shy goes for her attempt first, since that’s how you’ve been doing this
>*eep*
“You got this, Shy!” you reassuringly say
>She focuses on that cup like its Angel or some animal she owns
>The ball is flicked from her hoof and it soars through the air
>*tink*
“OHHH SHIEET!”
>You grab Shy and pick her up, spinning around once
 
“Nice…”
>Once you put her down, you notice that she’s very pleased with this
>That adorable little pone smile…
>Thankfully, all the ponies are like her
>”it’s your turn now, anon…” she confidently replies
>Fuck, that’s right…you gotta step up and sink this shit
>You can’t let Twilight rebuttal that shit, because you know she can
>She actually checked the wind with her hoof earlier
“Let’s end this game, Fluttershy…”
>You hoof bump her, and then stare down this cup
>Make it, game over
>Miss it, and you’re fucked
“Hmmm….”
>You dip your ball in the water a couple of times, and then roll the ball on your finger tips
“It was nice playing you two…”
>You’re such an asshole…heh
>The ball is released from your grip and seeks out the cup
>No pony makes a sound as the ball closes in on its target
*tink*
>You throw up a peace sign, and chug the rest of your drink
“Damn...”
>You gotta hoof bump Fluttershy, for setting you up
“Thank for killin’ it, Shy!”
>”at least you stepped up”
>Her lips curl as she gets more open
“Oh, you got jokes, huh?”
>She silently nods her head, trying to keep a straight face….and failing
“That was awesome though!”
>You pat Flutters on the head and then point to Apple and Twi
>You walk over to the other side of the table, and shake the loser’s hooves
>”Well Ah’ll be damned…” Apple utters, “There’s no way you made that”
“But there was a way, you clearly saw it”
>You nudge Apple with your hand, and she leans back onto your hand
>”See, if Ah had them there fingers like you got, I could do that too”
“Mhm…excuses, excuses”
>You and her share a laugh together, both clearly having a good time
>How long has it been anyways?
“Hey, you wanna go outside for a smoke?”
>The cancer is just calling out to you
>”Well, what are we waitin’ for?”
>Apple nudges her head towards the barn opening
“Let’s roll”
>…
 
>AJ follows behind until you make it outside of the hot barn
>She stands by as she waits for you give her a cigarette
>However, you need to sit down
>Been standing up for god knows how long
>You carefully lower yourself, and then cross your legs Indian style
>You grab a cigarette for AJ, and take out the lucky one for yourself
>AJ follows suit and tries to sit down next to you
>Of course, she’s struggling
>So you help her out…
>You put your arm around her backside, using you as a back rest
>She feels so comfy right now, you can’t stand it...
>Once AJ is settled, you slowly graze your hand across her back fur
>You then grab your lighter, and attempt to flick it
>The flame from your lighter burns the end of your cigarette
“Damn, went through all of these already?”
>You shake your head as you take a long drag, letting the smoke fill your lungs
>”Well, y’all do smoke like a bonfire” AJ jokingly comments
>A hoof taps you on the thigh a couple of times
>Oh yeah, pony needs a light
>You light the flame, and move the lighter towards apple pone
“Yeah, you right” you cough
>She’s holding the cigarette in her mouth, puffing on it until it’s lit
>Smoke escapes her nostrils as she slowly grabs the cigarette with her hoof
>”Thanks again, Ahnon”
>AJ leans back, tilting her head back
>When you do the same, you look up towards the night sky
>”No….problem…”
>Deep oranges fade into a dark blue sky
>Stars begin appearing as the light disappears
>It’s such a beautiful sight to behold
>Especially since you get to witness Luna’s work with your best friend
>The smoke from your cigarettes ascend towards the heavens
>Reminds you…
>Placing the cigarette in your mouth, you puff on it while your stretch your arms out
>As weird as you are, you start bending your arms in awkward ways
>Feels good though…
>”What in the hay are you doin’?” AJ skeptically asks
 
>With an arm behind your head, you turn to face the green eyed wonder
“Just stretching out”
>You blow the smoke out through an opening in your lips
>She’s still giving you that weird look, but at least she’s grinning
>”Y’all are weird as heck”
“Whateva man” you mumble
>The cigarette bobs up and down between your lips, and ashes fall onto your suit jacket
>As you stumble to grab the half gone cigarette, you notice you burnt a hole in your blazer
“Fuck, man…” you tiredly groan
>”What are yew moanin’ about over there?”
>You brush the backside of your hand over the burnt fabric
“Burnt a hole in my jacket” you say as you exhale
>You hold the cigarette with your mouth again, and struggle to take of your blazer
>AJ just awkwardly sits by, still smoking as you try your hardest
>”Well whah in Equestria would you wear a suit to ah barn?”
>Tossing aside the jacket, you take a drag from your smoke
“Cause I ain’t got any other clothes”
>”Right, Ahnon”
>The tone in her voice seems unconvinced of this truth
“Whatever man”
>You dismiss her words as she finishes her smoke
>Once she flicks it out in front of her, she just sits there, looking towards the orchard
>As you gaze upon her in the moonlight, you suddenly feel overcome with courage
>Courage to see what could be…
>The two of you have been close friends for a while now, and you’ve always wanted to see what would happen
>You know, if you pulled her close to you, and drew your face close to hers…
>What would come of it?
>May as well take a chance, right?
>While your friend gazes upon the night sky, you slowly extend your arm around her back
>Your bare skin grazes up against her soft, warm fur, as you place your hand on her far foreleg
>For some reason, she seems hesitant at first, cocking her head back in your direction
>But eventually, she leans back into you
>So far, so good
>You have an apple horse in your arm, and that’s…just fine…
 
>Catching a glimpse of the moon in your eye, you decide to join AJ in examining it
“Isn’t it just, beautiful?”
>”Yeah, Ahnon, it’s somethin’ all right” She tiredly replies
>With the hand around Apple, you gently stroke her fur
>And feel yourself tighten up around the waist
>Oh, how convenient…
>AJ scoots back towards you a little more, and collapses into your arm
>Of course, you bring her in even closer towards you
>The smell of apples have never been more comforting than now
>Especially when you’re sitting next to a pony like Applejack
“So…”
>You nervously whisper as you slide your hand down to her side
“There’s something that’s on my mind right now…”
>You try to calm your nerves as you stroke the fur on her sides
>”Oh yeah? What’s that, Sugarcube?”
>Her country accent makes you feel a little more comfortable
“Well…” you mutter, “I mean…”
>You finish off the rest of your smoke, and flick the butt
>You stammer your words as you reach for your blazer
>More smokes in there, thank god
>As you light one up and exhale, AJ interrupts your nervousness
>”What are y’all tryin’ to say?”
>You’re drunk
>Talking should be a walk in the park, Anon
>It’s hard though, since you and she have never talked about this before
>You take a long rag from your cigarette before you give in
“Well,” You say, exhaling smoke, “I….I….”
>”Ahno-“
“I have a crush on you” you excitedly blurt out
>You immediately put the cigarette in your mouth, feeling awkward
>Your hand that was petting her fur has slightly tensed up as well
>Outside, the only noises you could hear were your pounding heart and the crickets chirping
>Applejack tilts her head back to your outburst
“Yeah,” You sigh, “I have a crush on you, bad”
>You sit yourself up upright, since your hands feel really clammy
>She adjusts herself where she is sitting up as well
>Those emerald eyes of hers stare you down…
 
“Yeah,” Anon sighs, “I have a crush on you, bad”
>You’re Applejack now
>And you’d be lying if you didn’t feel awkward
>Okay, maybe not awkward, just thrown off guard quite a bit
>He apparently likes you, but he never acted like it
>How to handle this, Applejack
>It’s not like he’s the first stallion to come on to you
>You fiddle around with your hooves, planning out how to do this
>He’s a great guy and all, but you’re bad in these situations…
>As you rest a hoof on his hand, he grips back
“Oh, y-you do?”
>He looks off into the distance as she chain smokes even more
>Even in darkness, you could see how flushed his face as
>”Y-yeah, I-I do,” He pauses, “I didn’t know how to tell you”
>You have never seen Anon like this, even sober
>So distraught, and whatnot
>You reach for his out in the open pack of smokes and light one up
“Ah mean…yer a nice feller and all,” you exhale smoke
“But we’re too drunk to be talkin’ bout this sorta thang”
>Tapping him on the hand, you retract your hoof and place it on your lap
>”I mean, we’re talking about it right /now/…”
>Smoke builds up between you guys like a fog in the early morning
“Ah don’t know,” you hesitantly reply, “It’s just th-“
>”Sorry I brought it up,” Anon hastily interrupts
>Oh my, you think to yourself
“I never said I didn’t feel that way, Ahnon,” you point a hoof towards yourself
>You notice one of his eyebrows rising, and his eyes shifting
>He takes a hit from his smoke and tries to move in on you
>As he draws his head closer towards yours, you plant your hand on his chest trying to hold him back
“It’s just, we’re drunk, and Ah don’t want this to turn sour”
>Before he could reach your face, he opened his eyes slowly and stopped puckering his lips
>“Oh…”
>A look of defeat and disappointment fills his face as he leans back to sitting upright
>Though he begins to slump as he eyes down his cigarette
”Sorry Ahnon”
 
>You gingerly place a hoof on his hand and begin to rub
>The sound of tobacco burning as you inhale is all you hear
>Oh, this is something you didn’t expect
>”It’s fine…I should have known better”
“Ah mean, you could always try again tomorrow, Sugarcube…”
>A grin begins to form on your face as you reassure him
>“Welp, I have no choice, do I, ‘sugarcube’?” he lightly chuckles
>You bite your lip briefly and shake your head as you try not to laugh
>The two of you finish your smokes and cut the tension
>”Well, I do want to tell you this though…” Anon squeezes your hoof
“What’s that?”
>Anon brushes your bangs to the side of your face, enamored
>”You look absolutely amazing tonight”
>You’re completely caught off guard by his compliment, and try to blow it off
>But all you can do is blush, deeply
“It’s how Ah normally look”
>You avert your eyes from his own
>Your lips begin to curl slightly the more you think about this
>It’s like you’re some sort of little filly finding her first crush
>”Yeah, I know, but I just wanted to tell you that”
>His hand moves from your mane towards your chin, holding your head upright
>You /do/ love his touch…
>Makes you feel safe and comfortable…
>But, you know better than to fuck around
>Especially around cider
>It’s like you’ve become putty in his hands
>Doesn’t help when you’re staring face-to-face with one of your best friends it seems
>Without any warning, Anon’s head is moving towards yours again
>You’re almost tempted to push him away
>But you don’t…
>He begins to move towards your lips
>But in a sudden turn of events, moves his mouth towards your exposes forehead and plants a tender kiss upon it
>Your eyes follow him the whole way
>And when he backs his head away from yours, he stares you right in the eyes
>”Is this alright?” He cracks a grin
“Ah suppose~”
>You should see your face right now…
>Red as a red delicious…
 
>You are Anon
>And quite frankly, you feel like an idiot right now for coming onto her
>But hey, you got to kiss her, somewhat
>Hopefully leading to something more…
>As you lock eyes with this beautiful mare, your heart throbs for more
>This pony stole your heart, and you won’t be able to get closure until tomorrow
>You’d have to let go of her jaw since it’s so soft in your hands
>But it’d be kind of weird to keep her like this
>You eventually slide your hand from under her jaw and bring yourself to your feet
>Hard as hell when you’re drunk, eh?
>When Applejack returns to reality, she gets onto her hooves, and wobbles a little bit
>”Whoa” she giggles, clearly buzzing pretty good now
>You noticed Applejack’s hat was crooked on her head
>So being the gentleman you are, you adjust the Stetson back to normal
>Meanwhile, Applejack is drunkenly staring at you
“Come on, AJ,” you wave your hand to her, “let’s go back inside”
>”Eeyup”
>So as you and this mare you know walk back into the garage, you have to ask yourself…
>Is she going to remember any of this tomorrow?
>Are /you/ going to remember any of this tomorrow?
>Hopefully things will work out in the morning
>Not even your future hangover could change your mind
>Anyhow, you distract yourself from these thoughts with sweet, sweet cider
>And since most of the other ponies are up, seems a bit more lively at least
>Then again, Dash is kind of an asshole, and woke up the other drunks
>Hey, it’s a party after all…
>You want that beautiful orange apple horse
>And god damn it, you’re going to get her
>…
>…
>The rest of the night is a complete blur, since your dumbass ended up blacking out later that night
>Something about Pinkie Pie rings a bell, but who knows
>The last thing you remember was dancing around with Rainbow and Applejack before the night went black…
 
>Eventually morning comes, and with that, comes the sun
>Of course, it shines bright onto your eyelids, luring you from slumber
>As you slowly open your eyes, you breathe heavily from your nostrils
>You make an almost inaudible groan as you come to
>Groggily, you eventually get up and observe the barn around you
>The more you kept your eyes open, the more you felt like shit
>Head pounding, eyes feeling like there is pressure behind them
>Yep, you’re hung over as fuck
>Of course, you’re still lying down
>Who can blame you? You feel like shit
>Cups were all over the floor, and there was even vomit in a couple of places
>Rarity was still asleep on the cushion next to you, resting her head on your shin
>How cute, especially since she’s wearing a straw hat…
>But the others were either in the kitchen, or had left
>The smell of fresh eggs and breakfast enticed your appetite
>God damn, you’re fucking starved
>Since Rarity was lying on your legs, you had to gently move her
>You eventually wind up in the kitchen where AJ, Rainbow, and Pinkie were
>”Hey, Anon,” Dash blurts out, “how’s the hangover?”
>All you can do is groan, ugh
>”Can’t out-cider the cider master,” she continues on
>”You were totally loopty-doopty out of your mind, Nonny” Pinkie says, while rolling her eyes around
“How bad was I?” you ask
>You remembered most of last night, but not after you and AJ came back inside
>”Well, you were /really/ obnoxious when we played cider pong” Rainbow begins
>”Or when you were poking fun at poor little Twilight and her wings” Pinkie adds
>”Oh you have to admit, that was pretty funny” Dash begins to laugh
>Oh yeah…
>That was fun as hell, rekt that game
>You look away from these two mares and shake your head in embarrassment
“Well AJ, do you have anything to add?”
>”Yeah, Ah need to talk to you later, Ahnon…”
>A serious tone fills her voice
>Looking back at you, she winks at you
>What could that mean?
>…