"Ivan in kalshnikov"
By penny_le_remover (https://pastebin.com/u/penny_le_remover)

URL: https://pastebin.com/vtEep62g
Created on: Saturday 27th of September 2014 10:33:58 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 12:15:32 PM UTC


>yuo ivan
>yuo r depressed
>memorys of gloius serbija are still strong
>the only tru frend yuo have is glorious kalshnikov
>not even dikord compar
>yuo have restless night after night 
>sometimes yuo think yuo here glorious kalshnikov of sayings to yuo
>yuo are now of sleepings in bed
>tfw never remove kebab
>yuo wake and shed crying liquid
>then yuo here a soft voice say
>"stop of crying ivan i am of here now"
>"KALSHNIKOV OF SPEAK"
>"I OF SPEAK
>"MANY REJOICE"
>"DA"
>for rest of night yuo hold kalshnikov as if women in arms as yuo fall to sleep with the sweet thot of glorious serbija in mind
>spear pones now yuo call kalshnikov pones come to room
>"sir we heard shouting, is everything alright?"
>"DA IS OF GOOD KALSHNIKOV OF SPEAK AND LOVE"
>"...."
>kalshnikov pones leave with confused look
>weeks later yuo and kalshnikov in love
>yuo and kalshnikov think ready for next big step
>yuo are now makings of love to glorious kalshnikov
>many many happys
>yuo and kalshnikov makings of pastionat moanings
>no one must find out

>you are princess celestia
>you think ivan is fucking his gun again
>you and all the guards know this and try to ignore it but it's hard to ignore the loud shouting in that strange language he speaks
>twilight is visiting on royal business 
>she doesn't know and you hope she doesn't make something awkward


>you are twilight sparkle
>Ivan is yelling in his room!
>he might be in trouble!

>yuo ivan
>still be of making love to glorious kalshnikov
>purpel hors has make runnings into room
>"Ivan is everything alri-OH MY CELESTIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'
>"YUO WILL OF NEVVER UNDERSTAND LOVE FOR GLORIOUS KALSHNIKOV PURPEL HORS"
>"HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING THAT?"
>"LOVE OF NOT KNOWINGS BOUNDS PURPEL HORS"
>"IM LEAVING"
>"GET OUT"
>hors know now
>no
>must remove memory from purpel hors mind

>yuo ivan
>yuo came out of closet with kalshnikov
>yuo actually dont be of knowings kalshnikov gendr tho
>all pone be of avoiding or laughings at yuo
>they not of understandings 
>none of them of understandings
>yuo and kalshnikov happy is of all that matters
>yuo dont of care what pone say
>yuo of prince for shit damnits
>yuo happy


>you are princess celestia
>Ivan went out and confessed to fucking his gun after twilight walked in on him the other day
>he takes it everywhere now
>its starting to be annoying 
>the other day it discharged at dinner
>he's worse than discord
>he says that it talks to him
>you think he might have schizophrenia
>"WHITE HORS''
>oh no
>"IS OF TIME FOR MARRYINGS KALSHNIKOV"
>shitting fucking dicklicking christ what the fuck, he must be a scitzo


>yuo Ivan 
>yuo think is of timings for anotherr big step
>marrige
>yuo have told white hors
>white hors was not of having approvings looks
>fuck the hors
>yuo do anyway
>"ivan i think im going to have you go to therapy for a while"
>"IVAN OF FINE HE OF NOT NEEDINGS BRIAN DOCT0R"
>KALSHNIKOV OF SPEAKINGS AGAIN


>you are princess celestia and
>THE FUCKING RIFLE TALKED
>HE WAS RIGHT he was always right
>yuo ivan 
>week later
>yuo are of at weddings
>many many happys
>as priest does sayings yuo whisper softley to kalshnikov
>"is of happyest day"
>"i of knowings ivan"
>"i of even happyer than when i was of removings kebab"
>:yuo not know how much that is meanings to me"
>"lub u kalshnikov"