"Christmas Special: Kid Dan VS and Pinkamena"
By lyingcake852 (https://pastebin.com/u/lyingcake852)

URL: https://pastebin.com/8JjZzH2G
Created on: Friday 31st of January 2014 03:03:27 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 25 of October 2020 01:14:48 PM UTC


The Night Pinkie Helped Destroy Christmas
___________________________________________

>Twas the night before Christmas and all is well.
>Except for Zecora, who feels like hell.
>Sweating from a fever, like a polar bear in a barn.
>She's making a potion, to take away the harm.

>"A little of this and a little of that, a nice touch of venomous snake rat."

>She's up all night, brewing a mix.
>Shoving in all the potions she's had when she was six.

"Soon, my fever shall be gone. By Christmas eve, this will all be gone!"
>Zecora continues to add some more.
>She's doing it so, with care and amore.
>With a puff of green smoke, she finishes the brew.
>Ending the mix with a slight "A-choo!"

"Alas, my potion is a success! Now I can finally sit down and rest!"
>As she took a sip, she felt good faith.
>Little did she know, that all was too late.
>"*GURK!*"
>She drops her brew on the fresh carpet.
>Raising her arms and waves them like a puppet.
>A slow painful transformation takes place.
>THat started from a brew that had bad taste.

>"OH NO. NO. GUURRKRGGGHRRHRRR...."

>Zecora gives in as she grumbles and shakes.

>Before anymore, there was a knock on the door.

"Hey Zecora! I was just wondering if-"
>"BLLEEEEEECHHHHH!"
>Pinkie got the suprise of the holiday.
>The vomit of Zecora's potion had been spilled in her way.
"Ahh!"
"Oh...*sniff* my apologies, Pinkie. What I just ate tasted worse than an expired Twinkie."
>Pinkie Pie shoves the goo off her hair.
>But little did she know that something stayed there.
>The mixture of undigested elements had burrowed into her flesh
>Something that had gone through her system, nice and fresh.
>But Pinkie knew not what had transpired.
>Only that misfortune had gone on to guide her.

>"Zecora! Are you alright?" asked Pinkie in her innocent voice.
>But with the potion, it's already changing her poise.
>Zecora says that she's fine, but Pinkie heard her otherwise.
>She's hallucinating that Zecora is screaming at her, causing Pinkie to be down.
>She walks out of the door, confused with a frown.
>Oh what a sad day it is for our little Pinkie.
>Like sailing on a rainy day in a dinky.

>Pinkie Pie walts into Fluttershy's home, hoping they'd help her make an apology present for Zecora
>BUt with the potion melting into her nerves, she's getting nothing than a shout from Flutters.
>She knocks on the door, expecting a familiar smile.
>But when Flutters opened the door, she starts yelling for a while.
>The potion has messed with her sight and sound.
>It changes her perspective around.
>From what Flutters is saying; "Pinkie! What's wrong?"
>Pinkie hears something like "PINKIE! YOU'RE A DING-DONG!"
>She yells as she speaks, words that could hurt a child.
>Pinkie backs away as confusion invades her mind.
>She couldn't sit back, relax and unwind.
>She starts hearing voices from inanimate objects.
>Thank god none of them is pestering for sex.
>One such object is a flower with a face.
>Pinkie goes in fear, running in haste.
>She goes to Rainbow's house, hoping for some comfort.
>But before she could reach her, a premonition starts.
>"PINKIE! YOU'RE USELESS. NO ONE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU ON CHRISTMAS!"
"AAAHHH!"
>Pinkie's hair droops down. She's sad and scared.
>She keeps on running like a little frightened hare.
>She goes to Norma's house. That place might be better.
>But alas, she wished she had never.
>You come to him with a frightened face.
>He tries to calm you down, with his caring daze.
>But in your mind, he's devious and angry.
>Like a drunken madman, a rabies-infected prairie.
>"Pinkie! Are you alright?" 
>But what you heard was "PINKIE, YOU ARE A BLIGHT!"
>The events have had you running away.
>THis is a really bad day.
>Alas, she reaches a small mountain on the hill.
>Along with a grave that says "RIP OLD MAN ON THE HILL"
[spoiler] Guess who still remembers that?[/spoiler]
>But the grave is irrelevant. Something pulled you here at your own will.

>Things quiet down. Pinkie looks around.
>Her depressing experience has gotten her to frown.
>As she sits on her own, an apparition appears.
>She's the same with Pinkie, but summoned by her fears.
>The apparition smiles deviously as the side of her face is covered with her hair.
>Her eyes so sinister, she looks so aware.

"W-who are you?" you asked the woman.
>"I am you." said the apparition.

>She shows you the town, full of happiness and laughter.
>She gives you ideas of horror and slaughter.
>You back away immediately. You know she's danger.
>Summoned by your fear, summoned by their anger.
>The spirit says she's just playing around. Kidding with the idea.
>She comes in closer, telling you of another.

>She says that everyone hates you, and that you're never funny.
>They say you're annoying, even Carlos was more Punny.
>Her words pierce your heart like a blade in motion.
>She moves in closer to toy with your emotions.
>The spirit feeds on your tears.
>The ones caused from the apparent yelling of your peers.
>"Little Pinkie, go on down and ruin Christmas. Go down and ruin it for those you once had trust."
"But that's not very nice! I'll have to pay the price!"
>"Tis the only way to get some payback, for having them yell at you for no reason to track."
"But they just yelled! Surely it's a misunderstanding!"
>"You were never liked! You were never dandy!"
>The spirit continues to taunt the poor little girl.
>She can't take much more. She might just hurl.
>Just then, a small little boy, no bigger than ten, comes to the hill out of curiosity.
>His name be Dan, given by his mum. Most likely while she was drinking rum.
>[spoiler]He did have a bad childhood as stated in Dan VS Dan[/spoiler]
>"Excuse me kind madam, I've lost my way. Do you mind telling me where I am?"
>But the poor sap doesn't know that she's talking to a crazy ma'm.
>Pinkie walks close, checking if he's real.
>A little boy in the night, lost like a 40's film reel.

>But before she could speak, the spirit takes over.
>Nothing but insanity, rage and anger.
>Speaking with the enthusuasm of that 100 Acre Wood's Tiger.
>Pinkie is lost, Pinkamena is now wired.
"Little boy, do not be startled. I am simply a woman lost to events that have transpired."
>"Where are we?" The boy asked the woman so dire.
"Up on a hill where no one can see. Up on a hill where it would be hard to flee."
>Pinkamena laughs maniacally as thunder strikes.
>THe boy merely scratches his head because he's just a little tyke.
>Confusion and innocence has the little boy even more curious.
>He takes pleasure at your smile so furious.
"What's the matter with you, boy? Did you not hear? What's with that look that looks like cheer?"
>The boy just laughs and chuckles around.
>"Lady, you're funny." said the boy on the ground."
"Bah, what does it matter. You're nothing to my plans."
>The boy's attention went to the part of conspiring at hand.
>"What plan?" Asked the boy.
"Nothing that concerns you. Tis only my ploy!"
>"Well if it doesn't concern me, then fill me in? Who knows, I might join in."
>Pinkie stops to look at the child.
>He stands, looking at you with a smile.
"Well fine. See that city right over there? I'm going to destroy Christmas for everyone, everywhere!"
>You look at the boy, with a straight eye.
"Don't you dare stop or ask me why!"
>THe boy smiles further, with eyelids open wide.
>"Lady, I was about to do the same tonight!"
>You're shocked. The boy had the same thing in mind.
>Now you're interested in the events that will soon unwind.
"Now why would you want to destroy Christmas, little boy? Surely you must have a good reason."
>"CHRISTMAS TREES HAVE FALLEN ON MY TOY CAR! I WANT THIS THEM ALL TO SUFFER THIS SEASON!"
"You're angry because your toy car got crushed?"
>"I want Christmas ruined. It's a must."
>YOu smile and you pat the boy's eager head.
"Kid, you and I are going to walk on a dangerous thread."
>"I already have a plan in my head."
"Oh? Do give the details."
>"It will make them wail."
>Dan takes out a paper with crude crayon drawings. 
>"I will kick you if you say this is boring."
>The paper has plans of devious schemes.
>He'd make a great supervillain, if all's well as it seems.
"You're truly a boy with a dangerous mind."
>"What can you say? I have an axe to grind."
"What's your name, kid?"
>"Dan, and I'm no kid! I'm 10 and a half!"
"Well Dan, I won't be daft, but you and I are going to have a hell of a time with this craft!"

>You and Dan race down the hill, ignoring the snow's cold chill
>For it is time to set hell on this city, no remorse, no pity.
>The first stop is the supermarket. THe one place needed for the happening.
>And the kid has alot of stuff that's pretty demanding.
>A ton of dynamite from aisle 20, some bird seed from aisle 33
>The kid grabs everything he has in mind, all in a glee.
>As he grabs the tools, something has caught your eye.
>A small Christmas card, it almost made you cry.
>'Merry Christmas to the friends I care about' was written on the card.
>You never wanted to cry so hard.
>But you turned away as the chaotic apparition takes over.
>You have no friends, and their enjoyment is over.
>"HEY LADY! I GOT THE STUFF!" yelled the boy.
>The kid checks out so fast, you'd think those were toys.
"Wow Dan. Where did you get that much money for all these?"
>"I got it from my friend Chris' mom. And yes, I said 'please'."
>The kid's story seemed farfetched, but it doesn't matter.
>So long as the plan goes on, I wouldn't be glader.
>Next on the list is the local mall.
>Midnight sales means midnight brawls.
>The kid and I sneak by the back door.
>We see those people lined up outside, wanting more.
>We plant each dynamite on every foodstand there.
>A plan so devious, not even Gilda would dare.
>Next is to plant all the mustard, ketsup and mayo near the dynamites.
>Because it all comes down in the end, that's right.
"Hihihi, this thing is foolproof! No way it would go wrong!"
>"Don't sweat it lady. We have all night long."
>The kid happily sets the timer on each combustible lamp he bought from the market.
>One hour set before it sets off the dynamites by the stands of hotdogs and croquets.

>You follow the kid outside. You both laughed so hard, you nearly cried.
"I can't wait to see thier faces!"
>"Few more hours to ace it!"
>You and the kid scatter the birdseed around the empty roads.
>All across the city, so many to goad.
>For Christmas will be ruined, by many this year.
>And we'd both get a laugh on those that yelled at me and caused me to shed a tear!
>The last stop in our merry night is at the bird sanctuary by the east.
>Those birds are going to have a feast.
>But as we go through the direction of the building.
>Dan stopped, and looked like he was shaking.
>He hides by the bushes, terrified by what he's seen.
>You hide by too, asking so keen.
"What's wrong, Dan? Why so green?"
>You look at what he's staring at. Parents, it seems.
"Are those your mom and dad? They don't look too scary."
>But a closer look from when the mother opens the door shows something of contrary.
>The house is a mess, not suitable for children.
>The mother doesn't even care to look for her missing Daniel.
>The father holds a belt, his stomach is bulging.
>Most likely from the alcohol he'd been indulging.
"Aren't they worried you've been out?"
>"Believe me, they're the worst I've got."
>Dan tells the stories of what he's been through.
>How he had to sleep in his friend's house for as long as he grew.
>His parents never cared for his health and education. Only taking him to school under the government's rule.
>He looks down and frowns, for he believes that no one cares.
>He had only seen anger, depression and bears.
"Bears?" You asked so curious at that.
>He believes Chris' family once lived in a bear's habitat.
>You and the kid laugh as the night goes on.
>You comfort the kid, saying that she had fun, a ton.
"I guess you've had it rougher than me. I just had a bad little night and that caused me to flee."
>"Flee from what?" Asked the child.
"My friends. They've gone wild."
>You've calmed down from the spirit's evil decent.
>Spending time with a boy you've only just met.
"Maybe I was too hasty to destroy Christmas for everyone.
>"Don't quit on me yet. We're still not done."
>"Come on!" Said the boy, so eager with his scheme.
>Got to admit. We make quite a team.
>He briskly walks to the sanctuary as he pours down some seeds.
>You ask him some questions about his interests and deeds.
"Dan, is this what makes you happy?"
>"Better than sitting around in my house. There, it's crappy."
>The boy tells you how much he's had fun, and how you've made him joyful.
"Hey, its the season of giving. Why not be used as a tool?"
>You and Dan arrive at the Avian Sanctuary.
>All the birds' breeds looks the same, almost varies.
>Dan goes to the one near the window to the outside.
>He then pours the melted beans onto their cans with pride.
>All the birds flock to the cans to drink.
>Dan says "Excellent" with a wink.
"Man, if my friend Rainbow were here, she'd probably like this!"
>But that only ends up in dead hopes and wishes.
>>"HEY!" Yelled the guard so angry.
>"ACK!" The boy said as he was grabbed by the guard so hairy.
>>"You're in big trouble young man!" Yelled the man.
>Looks like your little partner needs a hand.
>You grabbed the broom from around the corner.
>And slammed it on the head of the guard all over.
>Dan thanked you with all his heart.
>He then sat on the unconscious guard to give a fart.
>The 25 birds drank the bean soup whole heartedly.
>Dan opens the cages, with the birds flying out gladly.
>They follow in the direction the bird seed you've scattered.
>The sight of a beautiful group of pigeons has had you flattered.

>"Lady, would you mind accompanying me to the hill again?" the debonair boy said.
"You're strange, you know that?" you said with a tone a bit dead.

>You and Dan walked up the hill to see Christmas Eve destroyed.
>With the birds pooping all over the city thanks to the bean mix you've acquired. 
>But that's just 50 % of the happening that had transpired.
>THe next part is the mall, to which the food-stands had just exploded.
>The civilians are covered in ketchup and mustard.
>They ran out in fear of another 'Murican Terrorist'.
>Little did they know, something chaotic is amidts.
>THe pigeons flock in their direction, as led by the scattered bird seed.
>The shoppers run in the chaos, making a mess out of everything.
>Children and parents quickly woke up to the sound of disharmony.
>Birdpoop and sauces scatter throughout the city.
>You and Dan laugh as vengeance is given.
>To the city you and the boy had never forgiven.

>"Say lady, why were you angry at the city?"
"I think I was merely hallucinating that everyone hated me. I had a visit to my local brewery."
>"An alcohol company?"
"No, more devious than Brandy."
>"Well, it was a perfect Christmas for me. Better than spending time with my family."
"I hope all's well that goes with your parents. If you ever need help, just come look for me."
>"Lady, I'd never flee. Besides, I have a Chris too."
"Well, I'm glad I've made someone as miserable as you a bit happy."
>"I'm glad you tagged along too, but we must never speak of this again. Savvy?"
"Savvy."
>You did a Pinkie promise with the child.
>The mall bursts into flames as the people collide.
>The chaos continued until Christmas morning.
>But hey, at least Christmas wasn't so boring.

>A completely chaotic Christmas that started with Zecora's evil potion.
>It ended with you and a miserable child making a commotion.
>Perhaps your motivation wasn't too good.
>But making a child happy was all it took.
 
The End.

Author's notes:
[spoiler] I was going to drop this during the first part for being shitty. It was pretty bad. Anyone who liked it would have a meltdown on logic and continuity.[/spoiler]
[spoiler] Three bottles of alchohol and some pestering from that other writer, I decided "Fuck It" and edited, continued and finished it in two hours.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]I'll continue with Abnormal Norman tommorow.[/spoiler]