"Abnormal Norman 34: Lost Twice, Hearts' Dice"
By lyingcake852 (https://pastebin.com/u/lyingcake852)

URL: https://pastebin.com/iBZA8WUZ
Created on: Wednesday 18th of December 2013 09:19:59 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 25 of October 2020 01:15:00 PM UTC


Abnormal Norman 34: Lost Twice, Hearts' Dice
_____________________________________________

Be Norman
Canterlot High
After Hours

>Bah, detention.
>All because of Gilda's fault.
>Damn woman, why can't she just stay hidden.
>...
>Then again, what if she's spying at my house while I take a bath?
>...
>Naah, that's a boy's dream; to have a stalker.
>If only Aryan would stalk me.
>No wait, that's a bad idea. She already is and she's annoying at it.
>If she wasn't so much of a gossip freak, I would have told her sooner.
>And if she wasn't, her kid sister would have probably figured it out.

>You look at your ring. So much has transpired since the day you wore it.
>Now, I'm forced to be a prize in between two factions.
>This is exhausting.

*tap* *tap*
>"PSSST! NOORMAN!"
>I swear to Faust, if that's Gilda...
>Looking to your left, you see Brad, tapping by the glass.
>You stood up and lifted the window.
"What do you want, man?"
>"Well, seeing as how your head's clear now, I'll just repeat what I told you earlier; Rarity set me up with a date with Octavia!"
"Whoa, what?"
>"I know, its crazy! They're really in to knowing what we're hiding."
"Lauren Faust, they're obsessed!"
>"I know. How should I do this? Get her drunk? Ditch her? Maybe hint at her that I may or may not be seeing someone?"
"Last option is irrelevant. Everyone knows you can't maintain a straight relationship with anyone."
>"Screw you, man! I can be in a relationship!"
"When was the last time you actually had a girlfriend that lasted for a week?"
>"..."
"Exactly. Look, talk to Lyra. I'm sure she'll help out. After all, it is Octavia."
>"Y-yeah. So what are you in for?"
"Gilda attacked the hall monitor. I just took the blame."
>"Where is she now?"
>>"Right by this bush, maggot..."
>"AAAHH!"
>Gilda appears from the bush, still stalking me, apparently.
"Dammit Gilda, stay out of my school."
>>"Still paid, mate. I'm sworn by my contract."
"And you're doing a terrible job."
>>"Terrible? If it weren't for me, the Viri Scientia would have probably had captured you by now."
"..."
>>"See? You need me!"
>"Err, this is getting awkward. I'll just go ask Lyra then."
"Good luck, man. Don't get compromised."
>Brad walks away.

Be Lyra
Walking Home

>"HEY! LYRA!"
>You look behind to see Brad, trying to catch up.
"Brad. What do you want?"
>"We have a problem. It's Rarity and Octavia."
"What about them?"
>"Rarity set me up with a date with Octavia. Another plan to get me to speak, no doubt."
"No shit. Why do you need me?"
>"Well, you're Octavia's remaining friend that's good with our little 'secret'."
>Brad bumps your arm with his elbow.
"You want me to keep watch? In case something unexpected happens?"
>"Look, I don't know if Rarity's going to make me eat some sort of truth serum-enhanced turkey, or maybe have Octavia seduce me, so I'm asking how I could turn her down without...making a scene."
>You thought to yourself for a moment.
" Knowing them, they'd probably try to make a scene should you refuse, not that you have a reputation to maintain..."
>"What is it with everyone thinking I'm some man-whore who-"
"You ARE a man-whore. I'm sure Norman or someone else had already asked you if you had a girlfriend that lasted a week, yes?"
>"Ugh, fine, but I can't just have my reputation in shatters!"
"What reputation?"
>"I...I.."
>He gulps.
"Spit it out, man!"
>"I think I'm in-love with Twilight!"
"The bookworm or the horrible franchise?"
>"The girl! The scientist studying your...I mean yours, Vinyl's and Norman's artifact!"
"What you're experiencing is infatuation, mate. I don't think you really like her."
>"But I do! I mean, we had this date..."
"How many?"
>"Err, once."
"Once won't cut it. You'd grow tired of her like any other woman you've once dated."
>"Who are you to judge?"
"My old friend, Bonbon turned into a lesbian after you dumped her. She was really into you."
>"...is being a lesbian such a bad thing?"
"Brad, let me complete that title; She turned into a lesbian man-hater. A stereotypical feminist."
>"Shit, really?"
"Yep, but enough of Bonbon and your so-called love-life. I'll be on guard. Follow me to my house."
>"If I had a penny every time a woman told me that."
"If you had, I'd call you a whore more than usual."
>"sigh."

Be Derpy
Canterlot Grounds

>sigh, looks like Lyra's a bit angry with me.
>I wish I hadn't stayed at the hospital. She probably hates me right now.

>Walking around the grounds, you see your house mate Gilda by the bushes.
"Oh hey, Gilda!"
>"GYAH! How...how did you find me?"
"W-well, not to have [spoiler]griffon the [spoiler]bush[/spoiler] off[/spoiler] to you or anything but you're really not allowed to be here! You'll get caught!"
>"Me? Caught? Please. I'd take that hall monitor on any day of the year!"
"It's not about that! You're still on hot radar!"
>"Well, I guess so, but I'm still hired to stalk Norman, and maybe give him some psychological trauma."
"Ehh..."
>"Oh crap, the pink kid again!"
>Gilda takes your book and throws it at him.
"Gilda! He wasn't even going in this direction!"

>"Damn my muscle memory."
>Gilda slithers back into her bush.
>Axel then goes to your direction, still rubbing his head from the thrown book.
>"Assaulting an officer of the halls? That will cost you a week's detention!"
"B-but..."
>"But what?"
>You can't really tell on Gilda. As of weeks ago, you're Norman and pals' accomplices.
>I knew those comic book scenarios would give you hindsight someday!
"Okay, fine, it was me."
>"Hmph."
>He stamps a ticket on  your forehead and escorts you to the detention room.
>Three minutes later, he opens the detention door, much to Norman's suprise.
"Hey Norman!"
>>"Hey...Derpy?"
>"You have a new cellmate. I better not see you two engaging in premarital affairs, or I will double your penalty."
>You sit down one seat across Norman.
>He just seems to be happy that he's not alone in confinement.
>Axel closes the door to do more afterhour hall monitoring.

>>"Let me guess...Gilda?"
"Gilda."
>>"Knew it."

Be Lyra
Your home

"Stay outside, I'll get my stuff."
>"Alright."
>Brad waits outside while you go in to get the needed tools.
>Going upstairs, you grabbed the earpieces Vinyl gave to you as a birthday present, a bag, and a pair of binoculars.
>As you pass by, you see your lyre by the chair with the home-made arrows. Beside those were some papers you wrote for the school journalism club.
>Heh, the memories of pressing students and that one time where you almost had a fetish for hooves.
>...
>Then you remember that you were replaced by Rarity's younger sibling, Sweetie Belle.
>I bet she has better experience at this thing, with her sister being a gossip freak.

>At that moment, your mother comes in.
>>"Oh, Lyra. Going out?"
"I know it's a schoolnight, but I really, really need to go and... watch a concert illegally."
>It was the sanest excuse you could come up with since you're holding binoculars.

>>"Oh you kids and your hobbies. Reminds me of when I was just your age."
>She then shows you your jacket. The jacket you used when you were disguised as a vigilante.
>>"I just washed off the ketchup stains. Take this. It's chilly at this time of the year."
"Err, thanks mom."
>You put on the jacket. It has a warm nostalgic feel to it.
>With that, you grab your lyre and a handkerchief and went out.
>>"Have fun, and don't get caught, dear!"
>Best mom ever.
>Shame she doesn't know I risked my neck out there more than she'd ever know.

>Going outside, Brad compliments your jacket.
>"He-hey! The old costume!"
"Shut up. Take this."
>You hand him the other earpiece.
"Where were you two going to meet up?"
>"Uhh, Cafe Puree."
"Ugh, sounds pretentious."
>"Tell me about it."
"Well come on! You don't want to be late for a date with a German."
>"Ahh man...I don't know if I could turn her down. I heard how terrifying angry German women are."
"You'll do fine, kid. It's not your time to die yet."
>"W-wait, you know when I'll die?"
"Brad, I want you to worry about one thing at a time. Right now, I need you to get some balls and meet with Octavia."
>"Crap."

Be Norman
Detention Room

>"So Norman! What's it like being a superhuman? Do you feel like you can lift the world? Feel the wind in  your hair as you-"
"Derpy, come on. You know I can't discuss that. I thought we agreed on that?"
>"Sorry, I guess I thought you were a bit more happier with what you have then Lyra."
"I'm barely happy with the fact that I could die because I somehow lost the ring for more than 14 hours." 
>"Is that your kryptonite? Losing the ring like with Lyra going blind if she loses her artifact?"
"Like I explained before, yeah. Like that."
>"Does the ring work on other people? Like transferring its power?"
"No, sadly. I'd be happy to give up this curse, but it seems that I carry this until the day I die. "
>"That's pretty upsetting to think about."
"It is, but with that bastard Nolan giving us some money to fund Purple's search for a cure, I hope she DOES find a cure."
>"Oh."

>Time passes by, you and Derpy come into a somewhat enlightening conversation.
>She asks many things. It's natural since she's into cape heroes, but it feels too dangerous to.
>After all, she is one of the few people who found out who I was on her own.
>More specifically, with Lyra's help*.
[spoiler] See issue #19 -Dan[/spoiler]
>Then it came to the point where she asks about Brad.
>"What about Brad? What's his special power?"
"Brad doesn't have one. He's...just lucky to be unlucky."
>"So Brad just tags along?"
"He did give me the idea of being a vigilante. I hated him for that" You chuckled.
>"Can I join one of your adventures too? I'll bring my own costume!"
"Look, I know you're a nice girl, but bringing another innocent on the super-heroing is too dangerous. Only reason Brad's in is because he persists in. I think he's growing out of it. Sadly I can't."
>"Aww."
"But..."
>You lean in closer to her.
"I can give you a certain job."
>"Ahh, really?"
"Yeah. You'd be really helping me out if you do."
>"What do I need to do?" She asks excitedly
"Gilda's your house mate, right? Gain her trust, be her friend, then when the time is right, grab every info you can on her."
>"Whoa, you mean like, pretend to understand her, then break every strong thread of trust in one chop?"
"I don't like the idea either, but I'll let you in on another secret, since you're my bishop in this chess game."
>"ahh..."
"I'm being crapped on by Viri Scientia. With Viri being Saint's Bro's arch enemy, I was captured last night by the same gang."
>"Oh my gosh. Does Gilda know?"
"Nobody but you. Brad doesn't know either, and I was looking insane when I did* tell him"
[spoiler] See last issue. -Dan[/spoiler]
>You give her a stern look.
"Point is, I'm planning on taking them both down with their own games, and I need a saboteur on each end. You're Saint's Bro's. 
>"But who's with Viri Scientia?"
"I don't have a guy on them yet, but I have one person who wouldn't be too suspicious if she entered."
>"Who?"
"I'm quiet on that for now. Can I trust you to this?"
>Derpy gives an uneasy look on her face.
>"Norman...this is..."
"You can say no. I can't force you to."
>"N-No, I mean, I can do it, but the part where I betray Gilda. I don't think she's sane when she finds out someone betrayed her."
"I know, that's why I'm giving you the choice."
>"I..."

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGG*

>School Bell.
>Axel comes in the room to yell;
>>"YOUR TIME IS UP. GET OUT."
>You and Derpy got up and got out of the school.
>"Listen, Norman, I'll talk to you about this tomorrow."
"Alright. Just don't tell anyone."
>Because Carrot Top will kill me if she found out.
>>"Don't tell anyone what?"
>Gilda comes from her bushes and scares the living bejeezus out of you.
"Faust, Gilda..."
>>"What are you two talking about?"
>"Err, Norman thinks you're...cute..."
>Oh god, Derpy...WHY THAT EXCUSE?
>Gilda scratches her head in confusion.
"S-she meant that I find you cute when y-you're frustrated."
>>"Is this about the butt comment few hours ago?"
"Crap, uhh, just forget about it."
>>"Good. Remember when I called you yesterday about Nolan's factory?" *
[spoiler] See issue # 31 -Dan [/spoiler]
"I forgot about that."
>>"Now I'm reminding you. You're coming with me. Nolan wants to talk to you."
"Dammit Gilda, we already talked."
>>"The schedule still stands, now come on!"
>She grabs your hand and pulls you to Nolan's factory.
>Derpy waves goodbye with her face still unsure of what to do.

Be Lyra
Rooftops beside Cafe Puree

"Brad, do you read me?"
>"I can hear you. Signal's good."
"Good. I can see Octavia coming out of the taxi."
>"Any sign of Rarity?"
>You look for a moment.
"No. Not a white woman in sight."
>"Crap, well here goes."

>Brad stands up to greet his date.
>Octavia's face has a mix of distaste and sadness, but manages to keep a straight face when Brad greets her.
>What is that woman planning?

Be Brad
Cafe Puree

>Alright man, be cool.
>Keep calm and date on.
>Octavia's wearing a somewhat fashionable attire. Nothing to fancy but definitely eye-catching.

"Uhh, s-shall we order something?"
>She nods. She hasn't said a word.
>You take your menu and talked to Lyra in a whisper.
"She's not talking! Now what?"
>"Odd, I thought for sure she'd try to be more sophisticated and spark a conversation regarding your interests."
"Say, you think the fish with fries sounds nice?"
>"..."
"Joking. Back to the German."
>You put down the menu to look at your date. Octavia is just looking at the menu with her bored eyes.
"Err... man, so many meals, so little money, am I right?"
>She continues to ignore you.
>Maybe something's wrong with her.
>You 'accidentally' dropped your fork.
"Oh, I dropped my fork. I...I'll just get it."
>You leaned down to talk to Lyra once more.
"Lyra! She's ignoring me!"
>"I can see that! What is wrong with her?"
>You leaned back up to place the fork on the other side.
"Well, umm, shall we ge-"
>>"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have agreed to this." Octavia says.
>She stands up and walks away from the table.
>"Wow, that went well, and you didn't even need to try. Good job, Casanova."
"She looks like she has problems. I can't just sit here and let her go!"
>"You idiot! That's what she wants you to do! If you come after her, she'd go all teary eyed on you until you tell her you're a vigilante working for a fucking gang!"
"But what if she is in trouble? I have to go and find out!"
>You stood up and ran after her.
>"Dammit Brad, don't do this! You know it's a trap!"
>You grabbed the German's arm.
"Octavia, wait. Is there something wrong?"
>>"Nothing." she says
"I've been with many women, and I know that you're having problems. That's the face of a woman who's cried more than a few times in a week."
>>"Oh I'm sure you know." She says with a sarcastic tone.
"Is this about Lyra? Norman? Rarity?"
>>"Look, I'm already trying to go past the fact that Lyra already hates me for invading her privacy, but..."
"But what?"
>She breaks into tears.
>>"I...I just can't believe that my two friends are gone."
"Octavia...she's...I mean..."
>"And there goes the waterworks. I told you she'd try to soften you up."
>Ignoring Lyra, you trust your instincts and your self control to ask her back to the restaurant.
"Look, I'm sure I can listen and reason with your problems back there."
>She wipes her tears away. She complies and goes back to the restaurant.
>You then followed that German beauty back to the restaurant.

>"Dammit Brad. I hope you know what you're doing."

>Back at the restaurant, Octavia sits down and looks at the menu again.
>A waiter comes in and asks if we're ready to order.
"I'll have this steak." You say.
>>"I'll have the carbonara special, thank you." she says.
>The waiter then leaves. You then ask Octavia what's been bugging her.
"So, I guess I should start. What's wrong?"
>She dries up her tears and starts to talk.
>>"Well, first thing is, if you were expecting it at all, this was Rarity's idea to get more information from you."
"I...I kinda knew that. Octavia, you have to understand that-"
>>"I know. I've been so annoying to Lyra that I haven't realized how much I've crashed into her privacy. I was just so scared that I'd lose Lyra, and now I had when we broke into her house."
"So, you're not going through Rarity's plan of seducing me and trying to get enough information from me?"
>>"I can't and I won't. She thinks that it would work, but my heart's not set to be the seducing snake."
"Does Rarity know?"
>>"No. She's just waiting for some news tommorow. God, I can't believe I let her talk me into this. You know, she tried using the excuse that I need a boyfriend to get my mind off of Lyra, but when she mentioned you, I just realized she's just using me to get to whatever you guys are hiding."
"What is it with you and Lyra? You two seemed close, like you're her mother, or sister."
>>"Aye. She said I had abandonment issues. She's right, though. Traumatized by my parents, I just can't face the fact that I'll soon be left alone by Vinyl and Lyra once they find lives of their own."
"Tell me about Lyra. How'd you two become close?"
>"Brad, keep away from my life."
>>"Lyra, when she was young, she had a fear for the darkness. She was a survivor of a shipwrecked ship, and she was forced to live on her own in a dark cave for three days."
"WHOA!"
>"Dammit Tavi."
>>"Shocking, I know. In the dark, she was traumatized, or as she told me. She found refuge with a lyre that she found by the sands of the cave. Playing that made her feel well."
"Man. What about the other survivors of the shipwreck?"
>>"Lyra didn't know, and neither did she care. She was rescued on the fourth day. By then, she had already practiced archery with a makeshift bow and had sparked an interest in lyres.
"I...I didn't know."
>>"When she returned, I embraced her while crying like I found a lost sister, but by then, she had changed."
"Meaning?"
>>"She was less caring. She had a certain annoyance to everything, and she was less of a friend. Something else happened those three days, but...I didn't press on. Ironic, considering I pressed her about her affairs with your friends just this week."
"I'm...wow. I never thought about her that way. I always thought she was more selfish than a shellfish."
>"The mic is still on, you twit." Lyra said
>Octavia laughed at your horrible joke.
>>"So anyways, with Lyra almost being distant, came to Vinyl, forging a close friendship, especially after my parents abandoned me* . She did have some strange ties with Nolan, but she kept both our friendship and her parntership with Nolan balanced."
[spoiler] Half the story at Issue #29 -Dan[/spoiler]
"Man, I never knew you both had such dark pasts."
>>"Yes, and, I just wanted to go through and say, I'm sorry if I had annoyed Norman. I know, I wasn't exactly sane, but."
"I'll tell Norman. I'm sure he'd understand."
>>"And... Lyra. God, I need to talk to her. I want to tell her I'm sorry."
>Octavia wipes her last tear away.
>>"Tell her I'm sorry for being such a...such a bitch with her life. I promise I'll never annoy her again if she accepts my apology."
"I'm sure she'd understand." You say, comforting her while holding her hand.
>She blushes.
>Alpha as fuck.

Be Lyra
Rooftops 

>You took off your earpiece, looking a bit down.
>Guess Octavia really was sincere with tonight's date.
>I really wish she hadn't mentioned that island incident.
>Dammit.

>You decided to pack up. You take your lyre-bow out to make room for your binoculars.
>As you pack your binoculars back to your bag, a laughing maniac flies through the air.
"What in the name of..."
>"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE, GILDA!"
"What the hell?"
>You drop your binoculars
>The flying monster stops and swoops down to you.
>"YOU! THE HOODED GIRL FROM THE TELEVISION! I'D RECOGNIZE YOU ANYWHERE!"
"How do you know I'm not some girl wearing a hood on a rooftop?"
>She points to your lyre, which inexplicably converts into a bow.
"Ahh."
>You look back at the eagle woman.
"Who are you?"
>"MY NAME IS AMARANTHINE* AND I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE. TELL ME WHERE YOUR PARTNER IS!"
[spoiler]Yeah, that maniac from Issue #26. Also, she is in the pony list in the wiki, so yeah.[/spoiler]
"What parnter?"
>"YOUR VIGILANTE PARTNER! NOIR-MAN! ONLY HE AND HE ALONE CAN LEAD ME TO GILDA!"
"How the hell should I know? I'm not his mom!"
>"W-wait, so you two aren't..."
"WE'RE NOT DATING!"
>"Well, I mean the polls on glorious internetland has this shipping poll and you two seems to be more popular than Captain UnderwearxElementa"
"Who the hell is Elementa*?"
[spoiler] It's Vinyl [/spoiler]
>"That monster fro-...LOOK, NOT THE POINT! AMARANTHINE DEMANDS ANSWERS!"
"Bug off! I don't know, you twit!"
>"FINE, THEN AMARANTHINE SHALL FORCE THE ANSWERS FROM YOU!"
>At that moment, you grabbed your bow and quiver from your bag.
"MOVE CLOSER AND I'LL POKE YOUR EYE OUT!" You say, aiming your bow at her."
>"NO ONE CAN EMPOWER ME!"
>Amaranthine swoops down to try and tackle you.
>You dodged out of the way. She is one slow flyer.
>The resulting dodge has her crashing to the wall behind you.

>"AACKK!"
*BOOG*

>Amaranthine sticks to the wall.
>You shot three arrows at her hand, leg and...wing
>"AAHH. I'M BLEEDING."
"LISTEN YOU HYBRID ABOMINATION! If you ever try and attack me again, I will aim this at your head."
>"GLORY TO THE VIRI SCIENTIA!" she says while grabbing a potion from her belt.
"HEY!"
>Amaranthine pours the vile all over herself with her free arm.
>The resulting chemical transforms her into a large rhino-lion with five-inch wings.

"What..."

>"FOR THE GLORY OF VIRI SCIENTIA! ALL WHO DEFY SHALL BE CRUSHED! ROOOOOOOOAAAAAARRR!"
>The hybrid bastard manages to ram its head at you.
"AAAHHHCK!"
>You and Amaranthine fall from the building.
"Y-YOU BITCH!"
>You take an arrow from your quiver and fired right below to a wooden part of a building..
>You then jumped from the hybrid and latched on to where you managed to hit the arrow.
>You're going to need a better disguise at this point.
>Taking the handkerchief from your pocket, you put it on your mouth.
>Sadly your weight VS the crap material you used for the arrow doesn't hold, and it breaks.
"SHIT!"
>You and the hybrid rhino fall to the front of the restaurant.

>Brad and the customers of the restaurant check to see what the noise is all about.
>The rhino then gets back up to its...hooves and charges you into the restaurant.

"AAHH SHIIT!"
*CRAAAAASSHHH*

>You land on Brad and Octavia's table.
>Tavi screams.
>>"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

>You look at Brad and whispered;
"GET HER OUT OF HERE!"
>Brad nods and escorts her out.
>You then got back on your feet and readied your bow.
>It's one on one against a rhino-lion monstrosity.
>"ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR"
"Where's Norman when you need him?"

END OF CHAPTER 34