"The Garden (Challenge No.58 entry)"
By fluffstory (https://pastebin.com/u/fluffstory)

URL: https://pastebin.com/KK3q07FG
Created on: Saturday 14th of March 2020 11:09:19 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 11:20:15 AM UTC


EnfEnfEnfq, July 16, 2014; 17:44 / FB 23829
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The Garden

Challenge 58

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>Be inventor/geneticist
>For the past seven decades you have attempted to achieve the impossible
>they_called_me_a_madman.png
>But today you've finally found success
>You've bred the first pair of superobedient fluffies with no smarty trait

>First you tried your experiment with unicorns, this did not go well
>You still haven't quite gotten the bad-poopies smell out of your grand piano and your poor labrador hasn't been the same since Lucifer, well, em,
>Never did find out where the little bastard went

>Next you tried pegasi
>Pegasi were quite successful at first
>Charming, obedient to a fault, eager to please
>But they have no personality or strength of will
>It's like owning a talking toaster with wings
>You still use them as an automated fluffy based messanging service, just for kicks

>Then the eureka moment hit: Earthies
>Several bowls of sketti, a blender and some noxious chemicals later you have all the earthie DNA you could possibly want
>The process was gruelling and unforgiving
>You worked 90 hour weeks, then worked some more
>Sometimes you woke up only to find you'd sleep-scienced your whole way through the night
>You even developed a schitzophrenic alter-ego who worked as a botanist and developed a fluffy super-aphrodisiac
>You spent some time with a therapist over that, but it looks pretty fucking awesome in the middle of your garden
>But eventually you made it
>One coffee drenched morning, you stared into the gestation tank, and there lay two perfect fluffies
>Obedience tests soon confirmed what you already knew, these fluffies were perfect
>Delighted with yourself, you decided to let them have a run in the garden
>"This garden is my pride and joy, I give it to you to do with as you will. Just don't eat that red fruit over there, not good for fluffies"
>so_fucking_tired.bmp
>I'm going upstairs for a nap

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>Be Eve
>Today is the bestest day ever!
>Your daddeh Adonai let you and your bestest friend Adam play in his garden
>You spend the whole day playing chasey games, numming nice planties and talking to the wingie friends
>There's a very pretty tree in the middle of the garden with some yummy looking frooties, but daddy said they're very bad for fluffies
>Eventually Adam gets tired and lies down for a nap, so you start playing the chasey game with a pretty flutterby

>Ooof! "Whoo yu?"
>You run into a big green stallion
>"Fwuffy am wucifah. Yu pwitty mawe, wan be wucifah speshew fwend?"
>You giggle "Wat speshew fwend?"

>Lucifer tells you lots of strange things
>You nod and try to understand, but it's all so complicated
>You start to fall asleep
>Huh? Special tree? But Daddeh told you not to go near the special tree!
>Then lucifer explains to you how it's all really a test
>You know all about tests, daddeh gives you lots of tests and you always make him very happy when you do what he tells you to
>Daddeh wants you to eat the special frooties after all!
>Confidently you march over to the special tree
>Fortunately the frooties are low enough for fluffies to reach
>The wingie friends seem angry and try to stop you, but that's ok, lucifer said they're part of the test too
>You start to do like lucifer said and pull down the branchie with your mouth
>Bump! Tumble!
>Suddenly you're on the ground and the branchie is shaking, but you have the frootie!
>Licking your lips, you begin to num the tasty frootie
>better_than_sketti.jpg

>After a while the frootie is all gone and your head is swimmy
>Your nonos feel very very strange
>"Vewwy guuuud pwitty mawe, vewwy gud, cwap cwap. Frootie am gud nummies?"
>You nod to lucifer, still not sure about that feeling in your nonos
>"Hewe, haf anuvvah frootie. Mebbe Adam wike frootie too?"
>Somehow this seems like a good idea, so you trot off in a daze looking for your bestest friend

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>Be fluffy scientist again
>You wake up from your nap feeling 100% better
>Only slept a few hours, but it's time to feed the fluffies
>You frown, something is wrong, the sound of passioned enfing drifts up from the garden below
>The smile falls off your face and you race down the stairs two at a time
>You burst out onto your patio of science only to be greeted by a denuded hyper-aphrodisiac tree, two enfing failed experiments and a suspiciously innocent Lucifer looking up at you with a smile on his face
>"Hewwoh Daddeh, Wucifah back."

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>Many hours later
>You wonder if you were too harsh on them
>You kicked them out of the garden obviously, the wasteland behind your house is good enough, they can live there while you figure out what to do
>Turning lucifer into a pillowfluff in front of them might have been a bit much though
>Somehow when your back was turned he managed to wriggle over to Adam and bite his heel, but Adam stomped on him until he wriggled away again

>Le sigh

>Maybe you're approaching this from the wrong perspective
>Maybe to understand fluffies you need to become one
>A strange thought begins to form in your mind
>What if... a fluffy were born, but with your brilliant intellect
>A fluffy with the mind of a scientist!
>After all, if a fluffy had your towering intellect bringing a message of peace and hope, they'd have to be nice to him, right?

>Eagerly you begin your work, you shall send your only son to the fluffies, and take away their enf