"Lock and Doorbell (Challenge No.18 disqualified entry)" By fluffstory (https://pastebin.com/u/fluffstory) URL: https://pastebin.com/dNY6g8SR Created on: Friday 20th of December 2019 11:19:49 PM CDT Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 11:21:42 AM UTC takenoko, March 21, 2013; 20:52 / FB 9805 ======================================================================================================================================= >be fluffy lock >it is bright time >you are just waking up >'Ahhhh!', you yawn, stretching your little mouth as wide as it can go >you raise your weggies and give them a wakies-wiggle >'Wock wakies?', your best friend Ding asks >he's a fluffy doorbell, to your left and a bit up >you've never seen him, but he makes poopies onto Daddeh's flowerpot >they are not bad poopies because that's where poopies are supposed to go >flowers smeww pwetty enough to cancel out the nuu smeww petty of poopies >it works out quite well, in your olfactory expertise >anyways, he's your best friend because he talks to you a lot! >'Wock wakies! Din wakies?', you curiously ask >'Din wakies! Wock wakies?', your best friend asks >'Wock wakies! Din wakies?', you ask in return >this continues on for about an hour >the world gets brighter and brighter as you chat and chat >'Wock wan be Din', you tell him, 'Din get see Daddeh aww da time' >it's true >you look out of Daddeh's safe place, and stop meanie munstas from coming in >Ding looks in, and tells Daddeh when friends are here >you help Ding by letting him know what you see about the person >that way, he can be the bestest fluffy doorbell! >in exchange, he tells you all about the safe place and Daddeh >according to him, he sees Daddeh make nummies and take sleepies >he even gets early-nummies before you do! >'Nuu, Wock betta', he honestly confides in you >'Wha? Bu' how? Wock nuu see Daddeh tiww Daddeh go bye-bye!' >'Ouside haf wotsa pretty. Safe pwace dawk and smeww wike poopies.' >that can't be >safe place is best place! >you've glimpsed it when Daddeh opens the door >it's always bright and it smells good then >you make poopies as you think >'Nuu can smeww wike poopies in safe pwace. Dat nuu is gud fo' safe pwace!' >this is very confusing >how could such a thing be possible? >'Icky, Din smeww poopies 'gain! Nuu smeww pwetty!', your boy friend groans >oh no >that bad poopies-munsta is back! >you didn't know there was a bad-poopies-munsta, but there are poopies >and munstas are what make all bad things happen to fwends >therefore, poopies-munsta >a thought comes to mind, and you quickly give Ding some advice >'Get hewp, Din! Safe safe pwace fwom poopies!' >'Hewp, Wock! Hewp, Daddeh! Poopies! Smeww wike poopies!', he begins to yell >it is a scaredy yell, and you know it >your only fluffy friend starts making scaredy-poopies into his flowerpot >it's up to you to be the brave one and fight the monster >'Nuu wowwy, Wock gif sowwy poopies!' >you spray sorry poopies as hard as you can into the safe place >'Din! Munsta gone?', you ask worriedly >he is silent for a little >'...Din?' >you can hear stompies from inside >Daddeh's stompies >good, he's coming >'Who the fuck is ringing my doorbell at 7AM?', he growls >the stompies get closer >you hear wakies-sounds coming from Ding >good, he's alright >probably just took scaredy-sleepies >'Doorbell, what happened? Why is there shit all over my mat?' Daddeh asks >'Sowwy, Daddeh! Dewe was scawy an' poopies, den Din caw fo' Daddeh an' Wock twy gif sowwy poopies!' >a beat of silence >'...okay, I guess someone tried to break in?' >'Wha bweak? Is wike bweak-fas? Is nummies?', your friend asks >the mention of breakfast gives you both big tummy owwies >'Bweakfas! Wan bweakfas nummies!', you cry out >you're so hungry after making all those sorry poopies! >a sigh from the safe place >'Fine, fine. Keep up the good work, I guess?' >you hear Ding giggle, and know what comes next >the feeling of a hand gently cupping your rump >'Huggies!', you squeal >you don't get to have huggies a lot >but when you do, they are best huggies >the next hour is a rush for every fluffy involved >Ding gets to talk to Daddeh a lot >the meanie door won't let you talk to him >unless Daddeh's really close, he can't hear you from inside >nobody behind you can hear you, except for Ding >and you so rarely have friends in front of you >they're always either going away or going into the safe place >either way, they never stop to give you huggies or play with you >Ding narrates what Daddeh does until Daddeh tells him to quit it >the two switch to light conversation >very light, since you only hear Ding's half >you close your eyes and listen to your friend chat with your owner >if you try hard enough, you can pretend that it's you talking to Daddeh >you can mumble what he says, and pretend that you can hear a reply >sometimes, it doesn't even hurt when you remember the truth >after a while, you give up on listening to Ding >you simply stop and stare at the world in front of you >thise are lots of neat grassies for play, trimmed low >black bags of nuu smeww pwetty are at the end of the grassies >to one side of your vision is Daddeh's metal monster-friend >on the other side, a white fence to keep munstas away >eventually, humans start coming out >some ride away in metal munstas >others walk around, or stay in their safe places >mailmista comes soon, and you greet him like a good fluffy >'Hewwo, Maiw-Mista! Haf maiw fow Daddeh?', you ask >he simply nods with a smile, and puts the mail into the sorry box >you know what to do >as mailmista goes to the next house, you tell Ding 'Daddeh haf maiw!' >he relays the message loudly, only making a bit of poopies with the effort >'DADDEH HAF MAIW!' >Daddeh doesn't come, though >'Din? Daddeh otay?' >he giggles a little >'Daddeh makin bweak-fas! Gon get maiw wayta!' >oh, that's a smarty thing to do! >until then, you'll protect this mail to your dying breath >'Wock know maiw is gud maiw. Nuu wowwy, Daddeh save fwom sowwy box!', you tell the mail >the mail does not respond, but you don't hear any crying from the sorry box >good, than means that the mail isn't sad >that's all you can do for it >soon, Daddeh's friend Raul drops by >you like him >he's nice, with big black fluff all over his face! >'Hewwo, Mista Wa-oow! Sowwy, Wock nuu can wet in.' >'Nah, fluffy, s'all cool. Lemme ring 'em.' >he raises his hand up to your fluffy doorbell friend >mister Raul strokes Ding's ding-dong thingy >'Daddeh! Daddeh! Daddeh!', Ding calls out loudly >you hear stompies >then the door opens and, for a short moment, you are inside the safe place >'Hey, Raul! Just gonna be a minute, kay?' >'Yeah, no prob', he tells Daddeh from outside >inside is bright and it smells pretty >but there's so much, and your mind is so tiny >just a little longer, and it'll all come together >you hear the 'ka-clang' of the mail being saved from the sorry-box >and before you can process 'inside', the door is closed >'Nuuuu! Wock nuu get see safe pwace!' >you tear up a bit, stare down at the ground and pout >Raul's been following your battle to see inside for a long time >he never helps you, but he does offer sympathy after your morning failures >'Hey, little lady. It's not a prob. There's always another time!' >he stoops down a little and holds your side, his thumb touching your nosie >his fingers stroke your head and back softly >with your little hoofsies, you hug the thumb in front of you >he smiles at you >you hear the telltale 'numnumnum' of Ding eating a bit of breakfast >that means Daddeh's about to get out >'Daddeh comin, back pwease!', you alert your big friend >he nods and pulls away from you right as you feel Daddeh's finger touch your nonos >with a stroke, he swipes up to your poopie place >that means that you have to unlock the door >you pull in your heavy lock-wingies, grunting just a little >just a little >you have to look cool for mister Raul, so you puff your cheeks and close your eyes >if you can't see your effort, neither can he >the door swings open >'All right, ready for another day at the grind!', Daddeh yells >you can hear th the metal monster-friend's small sorry sticks in his hand >he also has his big work-thing, which is full of work >and you can smell your breakfast nummies in his other hand! >'Another day of getting grinded, you mean', Raul quips >'Speaking of grind, I'm out of ground coffee. Had to drink that mint mah-tay shit again' >Daddeh closes the door with a groan, and you open your eyes >you make some poopies in relief >Raul's not even looking at you now, so you don't have to act cool >'So that's the mint smell!', he grins, 'And here I thought you brushed your teeth for once.' >well, that's not a nice thing to say >'Daddeh smeww wike pwetty an' nummies!', you offer >Raul laughs as Daddeh stuffs the nummies-scrap into your moufie >you grab the edge of it and mumble 'danoo-Daduh' through it >'Lock, fluffy', he commands as he strides over to his metal monster-friend >obediently, you flex and your lock-wingies go back into their safe places >this locks the door >your work done, you focus on chewing and swallowing your nummies >soon your tummy is giving huggies to the nummies >'Tummy owwies aww gone!', you declare to Daddeh >look around >Daddeh and Raul are gone >so is Daddeh's metal munsta >you didn't even get to say goodbye of give huggies >later that day, you meet some friends who are mean and not friends at all! >they decided to take Daddeh's lawn for themselves! >'Pwease go 'way, nuu-fwend fwends', you ask politely, 'dis Daddeh wand!' >'Nuu, dis Smawty wand nao! Wand fo' hewd! Weave ow get big owwies!', a purple unicorn tells you >you are so scared >'Fwuffy scawed!', you cry as you poop yourself some more >'Wock', asks Ding, 'why scawed?' >oh no, Ding somehow knows of your fear! >you stay silent, and put on a brave face for him >he can't see you, though >you put on a brave poopie place too, in case he can see that >boy fluffies don't like dummeh girl fluffies who can't do their job >just don't let anyone into the safe place unless it's Daddeh >that's your role as a fluffy lock >you'll do it well >luckily, the scary toughies can't reach you >it makes it easy to be brave >'Toughies, gif dummeh fwuffy foevah sweepies!', the Smarty commands >screaming 'WUV SKETTI', the biggest fluffies all charge at the door under you >they strike at the door with their weggies >door breaks all their weggies upon impact >'Tankoo, Mista Doow!', you tell the door >door doesn't respond >maybe it's trying to look brave for you >'Stupi fwuffies awe stupi!', yells the Smarty. 'Smawty gif foevah sweepies!' >Smarty Friend tries to give the door big owwies with his pointy thing >door gives Smarty the forever sleep >meanwhile, the other bad fluffies are eating up lots of Daddeh's grassies >the lawn is out of your jurisdiction, but you know Daddeh >he wouldn't want your not-friend friends making the grassies not pretty >'Siwwy! Gwassies fo' pway, nuu fo' nummies!', you try to tell them >the meanies don't listen >some of the boy fluffies try to give special hugs to their special friends >they are still chewing grassies, mouths full of ill-gotten nummies >the girl fluffies don't stop grazing as they are penetrated >all fluffies involved choke on their grassies >then they all make last poopies on each other and take the forever sleep >eating nummies and giving special hugs take a lot of smarty-ness >doing both at the same time is far too much for any fluffy pony to handle >that's why you're so happy >you never have to do that kind of complex stuff >you just have to be a fluffy lock! >look down >some of the toughies who broke their own weggies on the door are still alive >a toughie mare croaks with all her breath, 'Fwuffy wan die' >some other fluffy feebly pushes a hoofsie against the door >it's still trying to get in, so it's time for you to take action >'Fwuffies nuu fo' in safe pwace', you tell them >none of the others try to go in once you say that >they're too busy moaning and twitching and taking forever sleepies >'Yay,' you congratulate yourself, 'am gud fwuffy wock!' >'Wock is bes' fwuffy wock', Ding tells you from behind the door >yay, Ding is there! >you quickly get back to chatting about nummies and poopies >fluffy stuff, you wouldn't understand >it's even later now >birdie friends have taken away some of the meanie fluffies >'Tankoo, fwends! Nuu wan Daddeh haf take away sweepy fwends!', you say >some of the others are still there, but it's better than nothing >the bright sky ball is starting to go into Daddeh's safe place behind you >it knows to go to its safe room and take sleepies before Daddeh takes sleepies >Daddeh taught it to do that, the same way he taught you to be a good lock >sky ball's silly when it's tired >the bright it makes turns a funny colour, like booboo juice >very pretty booboo juice, not scary booboo juice >it makes you happy >though it also means that bright time is almost over >'Pwease mow bwight, mista Skybaww, dawk bad fo' fwuffy!', you ask it >but you know that's not okay >sky ball has to go to its safe room, or it'll be a bad sky ball >then Daddeh will give it the Sorry Stick, and sky ball doesn't want that >besides, dark time is for sleepies >and good fluffy locks take sleepies only during dark time >so you need sky ball to go to the safe room so that you can take sleepies >and sleepies would be quite nice right now >you hear Ding yawn from the other side of the door, and yawn yourself >perhaps dark can be good for fluffies, just this once >'Sowwy, Mista Skybaww! Wock am siwwy, is otay if dawk time. Wan sweepies!' >the bright sky ball does not respond, but Ding does >'Nuu sweepies, Wock! Daddeh nee' Wock fo' be in safe pwace!' >'Sowwy, Din! Wock nuu gon' take sweepies tiww Daddeh hewe!' >you stretch your weggies, shake your head and smile >you've still got a job to do >and it won't be long until Daddeh comes home now